fandom_radio | Entries tagged with arthur pendragon

mouthy-merc.livejournal.com

Deadpool: I just don’t escape this place, do I? Hello, my little squirrel friends who bring me gossip! Hello readers!

Arthur: My God, Deadpool, if this is the way you ‘cast’ a radio... Good morning, Fandom! It’s good to see you all again. Please don’t encourage the squirrels.

Deadpool: Silver Fox! Wait... she’s dead.

Arthur: The squirrels haven’t quite grown that large yet, as far as I can tell.

Deadpool: Just go with it, Future Kingy.

Arthur: Suppose it’ll be best not to question it. Again.

( Oh, snap. Reunion Radio! )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. This is Arthur Pendragon, bringing you the news for WTFH one last time before graduation. But let's dive in and leave any goodbyes to the end of it, eh?

Jak: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get to the point. Hey, I'm Jak, and there were yearbooks being strewn around today. And back in the offices, Zoe got disturbed by Endora from the school board.

( Today was Queen's Day, folks. You'd better have worn something orange. Or, ICly: THE NEWS OF THE DAY. )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom, and welcome to another WTFH radio broadcast. I am Arhur Pendragon...

Jak: And I'm Jak. And this is all the crap you got up to today.

Arthur: Without the swearing, next time.

Jak: Go--

*irritatingly loud radio jingle*

Jak: ... yourself.

Arthur: I don't think that's anatomically possible... Moving on to the notes.

( Birthday Party Radio )

unborn-renegade.livejournal.com

Arthur: Good afternoon, Fandom, and welcome to tonight's WTFH news broadcast! I am Arthur Pendragon...

Jak: And I'm Jak. We're here to tell you what you've been up to. So listen in.

Arthur: Nice execution.

Jak: Thanks.

( News of the Day! )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening. This is Arthur Pendragon. My usual on-air partner was unable to join me, as he is currently out on the hunt for some of these creatures. Instead, I'll be joined by...

( I suppose I should read these... )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. This is your WTFH broadcast. I am Arthur Pendragon...

Jak: And I'm Jak. This is all the stuff you guys got up to today. Cheers.

Arthur: We'll be back after this important message.

*advert plays*

Arthur: All right, we're back. Sorry about that. The squirrels have been chittering something about likeness rights. Anyway, let's progress onwards into the school news, shall we?

( Here's Your Radio, Radio )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. My apologies for my quick departure last week, I had a few things to deal with...

Jak: Yeah, I'm sure you had things. I'm Jak, and this guy's Arthur. We read the news.

Arthur: Very eloquent, Jak. Fine. This is Friday, and this is the news. Can I get a ( jingle? )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, people of Fandom. I'm Arthur Pendragon, and this is Ja--

Jak: Jak. This is Jak.

Arthur: Catching up now, are we? Excellent. No time to waste tonight, I'm sure we've all got a few places we need to be, so let us carry on with the news.

Jak: ... uh huh.

( QUICK NOW RADIO. )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, and welcome to this latest broadcast of WTFH news. I'm Arthur Pendragon...

Jak: ... ... ... Why are you looking at me like that?

Arthur: You're supposed to say 'and I'm Jak'.

Jak: Uh... I'm Jak.

Arthur: Excellent timing there. Really, class work. *scrapes throat* This is WTFH, and this is what you've all done today.

( Loud! Obnoxious! Jingle! Here! )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. My co-host appears to be absent tonight; something about the-- what, Olympics, is it? That. Which means it's just you all and myself, Arthur Pendragon, reading the news for WTFH radio. This is what you all did today.

*shuffling of notes*

( It's Just Radio Radio )

bitchprince

Arthur: Fandom, good evening. On the eve of Three Minute Dates, we'd like to bring you the news of the day, up to and including the clubs. I hope you've all enjoyed the fair...

Jak: He wants to know whether all you guys signed up for the frat and if not, why.

Arthur: I most certainly wasn't asking that. You know, when I told you to get less terse last week, I meant while you were reading the notes.

Jak: Yeah, whatever. Give me the stack.

( Club News Radio. )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom, and my deepest apologies to the squirrels and you all. I was delayed--

Jak: Nobody cares.

Arthur: I happen to. So please forgive me. We'll move on now to the notes...

*rustling*

Oh, look. You've got a review.

Jak: ... A what?

Arthur: 'The new guy is okay, but his voice is a little slow--'

Jak: Hey! Give me that.

*more rustling*

Arthur: While my co-host is distracted... ( Time for the news. )

unborn-renegade.livejournal.com

Jak: I thought we did this two weeks ago.

Arthur: And the kind people have elected us to do so again from now on. *clears throat* Who are currently listening. Good evening, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon--

Jak: And I'm Jak. Can we get a move on?

Arthur: Don't mind my co-host. He's yet to grasp the intricacies of the discipline. Tonight, we bring you WTFH news from all corners of the island.

*cue opening jingle*( The Radio of Returns. )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. It is another round of auditions this term around, and I hope you'll grant me the privilege of reading for you again. The squirrels have told me that since this is my senior year, they've decided on getting me an apprentice.

...

Well, it was that, or one of them wanted more walnuts, but he can tend to his own needs if that is the case. I am not going to give one of you preferential treatment over the others, squirrel.

*chittering*

Silence. ...You know, there are some missing in your number--

*creeak*( In Which Someone Should Be Pitied. Or Both. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom, I am Arthur Pendragon calling in from the New Years Eve party in New York.

*happy chittering*

And I've been asked to do more... reporting. Yes. They only gave me two pieces of paper, so I am just going to tell you - professionally - that Leda was eating away on the fifth floor all by her lonesome, and the Angel Castiel was... preaching. Sermons. I'm sure it was really, really... what's the phrase? Out there. Yes.

You people have really bizarre customs, you know that, right? Like the whole ball dropping thing. Do half you people even have dropped b--

*chittering*

...I shouldn't drink and radio. Good night, Fandom. Have a... oh, bugger, if you're having a good night you're at the feast anyway. HAPPY NEW YEAR when the balls drop.

*click*

[[ and a happy new year to all from six hours in the future! ]]

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom, and I hope you all find yourself with your families. And attending mass, if there's a chance to. It was fairly quiet at the church.

If you hear a distinct lack of chittering, have no fear. I've sent off the squirrels with a special ~~bribe~~ reward tonight. They do inspiring work, and deserve to be appreciated every now and then.

Moving on to the notes, Emma indulged in Christmas on the fifth floor. Jono joined her for chocolate and celebrations. Alex spoke to Emma not of Christmas but of other celebrations, while Effy and Emma exchanged their love of silent movies. You know, that does sound good. Movies are too noisy. Karla and Emma spoke of the movie, while Jack talked to her about heading home to 'party like it's 1899'. Right. Raven came in for well-wishes and chocolate as well, gaining talk from Jack about her time recently. Then Jack and Emma indulged in some chatter about who's naughty and who's nice and whatever else the pagans have slipped into this holiday.

In his room, Griff makes a phone call that does not seem to bode well, as he takes off post-haste. Alex finds the lack of roommate troubling later on. Hm.

And finally, since it's a quiet night, the town. Oz and Hoshi take some time to consider the reindeer at the hotel - I really should go out and get my crossbow, for shame - and the Angel Castiel gave his sermon in an... interesting fashion.

That's all for the news tonight. I wish you a safe holiday week. I shall see you all next year. Don't forget to tip your squirrels. Good night!

bitchprince

Good evening. This is Arthur Pendragon for WTFH news, accompanied by the Fandom news squirrels, and if you don't believe they exist by now then the entire semester has been a lost cause for you. Moving on, I'd like to get started on the news of the day, if you'd all be so kind as to sit down for it.

( End of the Semester Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Arthur: For the love of all that is holy, Merlin--

*chittering*

Arthur: And you will stay out of this.

Merlin: They understand love, Arthur! You wouldn't know it if it bit you on your ass.

Arthur: For the last time, you are not in love, you are under a spell. Which is the only way that small-breasted harpy-- Wait, is this on?

Merlin: Don't listen to him, Karla! We'll be together once again!

Arthur: Merlin, shut up, for God's sake. You're only going to regret this in the morning. ( Bespelled Wizard Radio. Or is it? )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon, this is WTFH, and these are the squirrels, who will not be interrupting tonight. If you hear any other background noise, rest assured that it is being taken care of. Thank you.

( Ellipsis Prince Radio )

bitchprince

*ring*

*ring*

*ri--*

"Arthur Pendragon."

*chittering*

"...Hello?"

*more chittering*

"Speak up, man. I can't hear a thing you're saying."

*loud, obnoxious chittering*

"...All right, squirrels, take it down, you don't need to destroy my ears. What is it?"

*chitter chitter*

"...Well, I hardly have any notes out here, do I?"

*cheet*

"What do you mean, check my Blackb-- ah. You've texted me the notes. That still precludes me from actually being at the radio station--"

*chitter*

"What do you mean, we're already on air?! Sweet mercy, you are unbelievable!"

*cheeeee*

( Thanksgiving Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. It's that time of the week once more: this is Arthur Pendragon for WTFH radio with the Fandom radio squirrels. I have been listening to some off-island broadcasts recently, and I hope this will help your grasp on the evening news.

*chittering*

I'm not sure what 'received pronunciation' means, but the squirrels have acquiesced to indulge mine from now on. Right. On to the school notes.

( English Prince Radio, Or The One In Which Arthur Is Looking To Get Slapped By Two Of His Closest Female Acquaintances )

bitchprince

Good evening to you all, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon for WTFH radio, bringing you the Fandom Squirrel Chorus to help lead you into the winter months.

*high-pitched chittering to the tune of Hijo de la Luna*

Thank you, squirrels. We will now be moving on to the actual news.

( Musical Prince Radio? )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon, and this is WTFH. Stop overfeeding the squirrels, they are beginning to get cheeky, and I would hate to have to waste more time disciplining them.

*chitterchitterchitter*

Oh, do shut up. If you're good, I'll bring cashews next week. Anyway, moving on to the news today, starting with the school as per usual...

( Ordinary Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I realise this is not my usual night, but there was something of a scheduling mix-up, so I'm here now.

*chittering*

I don't care if that means you didn't have time to 'prepare', whatever the hell that means. Why are you miming a helmet? Don't pretend I didn't catch you. Run along, now, and get me those notes before I lose my temper.

( Cheerful Prince Radio. Really. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon for WTFH, delivering you the rodent-gathered news - within reason, of course. I hope you are all prepared for the Homecoming dance tomorrow. Make sure to put in your vote for the court, and if you've seen a slim redhead anywhere near the punch, you may assume that it has been spiked.

Just a friendly warning.

( Mildly Upbeat Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I hope you're all preparing for the trip next week, or at least weeping into your pillow about those of us who are leaving. I am Arthur Pendragon, this is WTFH, and this is a band of squirrels that would have loved to be a choir were it not that they are being punished for spreading lies about my life and the lives of some of my people this week.

*muffled chittering*

You just put your mind off the idea, squirrel.

( Vindictive Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I'm sorry I'm late: it felt as if I was just caught in a strange, all-consuming fog for several hours before I made it here, but I have returned to you for the evening's broadcast. This is Thursday, the first of October, the Eve of Parents Weekend, and no, it is not the end of the world. That is merely false advertising.

At least, I think my father isn't going to show up.

But let's not dawdle on such superstitions, and get to the news.

( Post-Blackout Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I'm happy to find myself re-elected to this position, and hope to be providing you with quality radio news for the coming semester. Barring any trouble generated by the squirrel notes; if you have any issues, please knock on a nearby tree.

To the newbies, yes, that's an appropriate way to bring up trouble with squirrels. Trust me, I know.

Moving on to the news...

( Return of the Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Fandom, good evening. It would appear to be time for broadcast try-outs once again. To the new students, I am Prince Arthur Pendragon, I've been doing this for eight months now, and if you are kidnapped in the night by small, frustrating rodents, have no fear. There is plenty of rum left to deal with it.

But let's carry on into the notes before we wind up caught up in that, shall we?

( Try-Out Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon, back on the air at the appropriate time with the news today. As always, the news is brought to you by some squirrels, so if you feel that we've reported something erroneously, feel free to take the message back through the proper channels.

Which is squirrels.

In case any of you were wondering, I had no hand in arranging this system.

( Slow Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. Your usual host has taken a trip down to the...

*chittering*

...Zoo. Right. I apologise for my absence last week. There was a certain issue with a squirrel that I'll spare you all. Let us see to the night's broadcast, then.

( Replacement Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I hope you're all sleeping restfully, rather than what happened last week. But that's no reason to dwell, as events continue on as they do, and the squirrels report on them as they do.

Hold on, it's another Fandom Radio news broadcast.

( Awake Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon, and this is Tuesday's radio broadcast.

*chittering*

With squirrels, yes, I think we've all been properly inundated to that fact. Shall we move past that into the actual notes, before someone falls asleep again? Good.

( Sleepy Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom, and welcome to the Tuesday night broadcast, delivered to you by some red-clad squirrels and myself. Which is more of a pedigree than it sounds like. Some of the squirrels even manage to hit halfway competent these days.

Moving on, it's time for a relatively quiet Tuesday, as about half of you have turned into animals, and the rest is probably watching grass grow in the park or something.

( Frustrated Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Good evening, squirrels and citizens of Fandom. I'm Arthur Pendragon, and here's what you've been doing today, hopelessly mangled through a filter of drunken rodents currently playing what they insist is called hopscotch with last night's notes.

If you have any complaints about their reports, I'd suggest stealing the rum.

Moving on...

( Late Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I am Arthur Pendragon, radio host on Tuesdays. And these are the squirrels.

*chittering!*

If you hear anything pawing at your window in the night, don't be afraid. They've probably just gotten bored and are out to make your lives interesting by sitting you down in this booth and throwing notes at you. In which case: don't drink their coffee, and for the love of all that's holy don't let them sing.

One foot wrong, I'm gonna fall--

No singing. Especially not you, black squirrel. I don't mind, but you sound like you've just swallowed something rotten.

( Camping Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. I trust the evening finds you well as always. Joining us today is one of the teachers at the school who expressed an interest.

Mitchell: Oh, I was just following the squirrels, mate.

Arthur: An educational experience, I'm sure. These are the squirrels, and these are notes. We read them aloud. You can read--?

Mitchell: ... Of course I can.

( In which Mitchell proves that yes, he can. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. The night looks relatively peaceful once again, and that it may remain so. I tire of goldfish.

*chittering*

Also, the squirrels insist I try this 'coffee' of theirs. It reeks like nothing else I've ever had. You'll have some, first.

*more chittering*

*gulping*

Let's carry on while the squirrel's bretheren keep an eye on how nauseous he gets, shall we?

( Uncaffeinated Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. As always, I hope it finds you well, and I can assure you that my manservant is kept safely elsewhere and sober for the day. This is WTFH radio, and I am Prince Arthur Pendragon. Let's take ourselves to the news of the--

SO WHAT--

Squirrels, I think I can well and truly say that you've murdered that song thrice over, so I would suggest you all sit down and behave yourselves.

*chittering*

Now.

( Improvising Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. I see you've made a wise choice once more, and I'm honoured to serve you once more. Let's not dawdle on ceremony when we've got work to do, however. Anything else you may hear is a sym-- symptom of a certain someone being at the slow gin again. *slosh*

Merlin: I'm almost---completely certain it was not gin. I could certainly go for another dirty dick. Where the hell is Reno when you need him?

Arthur: Growing beans.

Merlin: ...Does that mean something other than what I think?

Arthur: It means he's growing. Beans, Merlin. What, have your ears gone as rotten as your mind? If you're looking for a lecture on bean-- grain distribution, now is not the time.

Merlin: I don't believe you'd take kindly to me falling asleep before assisting you here, so I think we ought to pass on that.

Arthur: It would just be another notch on your spotless record. Let's continue.

Merlin: As you wish, sire.

( Drunken Radio Ahoy. )

bitchprince

Arthur: Ow-- WHAT? WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT? I WAS BUSY, SQUIRRELS! With important... business. You are not to do this again.

*door slamming*

Katchoo: -- *feedback* HELL WAS SUCH A FRIKKIN' EMERGENCY THAT YOU HAD TO DRAG ME DOWN HERE TO -- oh, HELL NO.

Arthur: YES, THAT REALLY COULD BE CONSIDERED BUSY, YOU-- Katina!

Katchoo: Arthur. Joy. Now my day is complete.

Arthur: Being pulled out of bed by irrational rodents to sit in this booth wasn't my idea of a pleasant time, either. Whatever. Let's carry on to the notes so we can return to our business.

Katchoo: Yeah, I'm not asking about your business there, pal. Oh, here. Read or something.

( It's Like Tying Two Cats Together In One Radio Booth. Drunken Cats. )

bitchprince

Evening, Fandom. This is the fortnight for the radio try-outs. For those of you I've yet to meet, I am Prince Arthur of Camelot, and I do hope to have your vote when the time comes. Still, there's no time to dither when there's an obvious stack of radio notes to go through. Squirrels, my cup's running dry.

*pouring*

And on we go.

( Auditioning Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. This is my last broadcast before the new try-outs; as always, I hope it finds you well. The news is scarce today, no doubt because of all the people leaving, so I'll get you through it at a good pace. Squirrels? I'll have the notes and rum.

*chittering*

Go on then.

( Fast Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Evening, Fandom. Classes are over and finals have been had. I hope you've all found the opportunity to celebrate it. And no, the play doesn't count as such.

Soon, new students will find their way to our shores and the old will leave us. Tonight, that day's still to come. On with the notes.

( On with them, indeed. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I hope finals haven't damaged your courage or your fortitude any. As always, I bring you the news of the day with the help of these squirrels.

*chittering*

Thank you. Another bottle of rum, please, and on we'll go.

( No Adjective Prince Radio. )

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I am Prince Arthur of Camelot, and this is your news for the week. I hope you've all recovered from the influx of children this weekend. If you haven't, I'd suggest merely blocking it out.

*chittering*

Please don't tell me you had babies.

*chittering*

Are you hard of hearing, or do you simply not understand the words don't tell me?

( Childless Prince Radio )

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. I hope this Wednesday finds you fine and untroubled. We've earned this... relative... calm. I'd like you all to meet my 'co-host' for the evening.

Reno: Chuck Norris, yo! Heh. It's been a while since I was in here. I'm startin' to forget what all these fiddly little buttons do, zoto. Oooh. But the rum, that I remember. *sloshy*

Arthur: The rum is a kind mistress. Last week's troubles, as well as the harpies before it, were grave. We did well, and withstood the horrors in the end, but that doesn't mean we should simply sit and wait for the next to come to this castle. As such, next Tuesday afternoon, Reno and I would like to speak with any of you who might be interested in training to fight together, as well as individually. There's no reason we should stand alone.

Reno: Remember, kids, only Chuck Norris can stand alone through a zombie apocalypse. He just roundhouse kicks the air, and... yeah. I dunno. I was better at comin' up with this stuff when I was wearin' the cowboy hat, yo. Anyhow, we can use anyone willin' to work as a team in case of another dangerous invasion. I'm graduatin' soon. I can't keep comin' back here to save all your sorry butts all the time, you know. *Sloshy*

Arthur: What the man said. Tuesday afternoon, behind the dorms. Now... on to the notes of the day.

( Two (Awesome) Drunken (Kickass) Lads (Who Will Kick Your Arse) Radio. )

Arthur: I believe that's it for this Wednesday.

*creaking noise*

Arthur: Merlin, don't give me that look. Did you bring herbs? Go and fetch me that water.

*slam* *audible eye-rolling*

Reno: It's too late for me to ask him to get me some more rum, huh?

Arthur: I'm sure he'd be in some kind of girly sulk about it if you did. Thank you for your help.

Reno: No problem, yo. It's a bit of nostalgia, readin' off radio notes with a bitchy blonde Brit or whatever. Do I get to say good night, now? I got more rum back in my room's got my name on it.

Arthur: What did you just call me...?

Reno: ..... G'night, Fandom! *An extra sloshy, and then the slamming of a door.*

bitchprince

Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. I don't speak for the authorities of your island, but I must warn you that there are reports of horrid creatures shambling about tonight. Please don't venture outside without an escort, it's very dangerous. I'm sure the local knights will handle it with skill.

*noise of door opening*

Jeff: ZOMBIES! There's actual zombies out there!

Arthur: ...And who in the name of God are you?

Jeff: I'm Jeff!

Arthur: Well, that clearly explains it. Why not. Merlin. Make yourself useful.

Merlin: You want me to read these things again?

Arthur: We've more important things to warn people about than classes, yes, so get through them.

( Welsh Radio of the Zombie Kind. )
Ray: Hey! You two! Clear out!

*door opens*

Arthur: And who are you?

Ray: Ray Kowalski, Fandom PD. There's zombies out there, you kids should be locked up in the dorms snug'n safe.

Arthur: Sir Ray. We'll be returning to the dorms shortly, but Jeff here is in need of an escort.

Ray: ...Heh. Sir Ray. *snerk* Cute. Um. Sure. Escort for Jeff. You wanna help me escort him, ...?

Arthur: Prince Arthur of Camelot.

Ray: Yeah. Crazy island. Wanna help me 'escort' him, your Highness?

Arthur: Of course. But first I must see to my manservant, before he gets his head bitten off.

Ray: Yeah, you snag him, too. *pause* Is this thing still running? I've got--

*click*

bitchprince

Good evening, Fandom. I hope the day finds you well and peaceful. I am Arthur Pendragon of Camelot, and I'll be sharing the news with these squirrels today.

*chittering*

No, the bird cannot come back. Stop miming ears. It's embarrassing to look at.

( Normal Prince Radio, At Last )

bitchprince

And a good evening to you all, Fandom. I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot, and this'll be your rodent-given broadcast of the evening. Today, we were not attacked by harpies: I feel this might be the most relevant news we'll be having all evening, if past experiences mean anything.

Well, that, and that my manservant is clearly the greatest idiot known to man, although I suppose that isn't news.

*squawking and flapping*

Thank you for your contribution, Merlin. Very insightful.

( Bird and Prince Radio )

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