WTFH

Sparkle: Faaaandom, good mooorning! Guess what! Fandom let me keep my--

Kanan: *Shuts the door behind him* -- Are you still in that --

Sparkle: ONESIE! I mean, the tail thingy doesn't do the thingy anymore so I had to walk here. But check this out! *Unzip, zip, unzip, zip* IT HAS A ZIPPER NOW.

Kanan: ... Why aren't you wearing anything under that?

Sparkle: Dude, it's still like August out there.

Kanan: Ah. My bad. Do we have notes?

Sparkle: We have notes! Like how Lana was piiiiiisssed that she couldn't read the books at the library, so she was doing lightsaber forms during her shift instead.

Kanan: That's fair. Sparkle here was selling leaves at the Demon Marcus during his shift--

Sparkle: I bought like three just to see what would happen today. Still leaves, just the boring kind. Fandom doesn't like me that much. Kanan was sending angry emails to gnomes from over at Luke's--

Kanan: They really have terrible customer service. At the Bookbelt, Owen had music playing while he worked. Is it that same number I kept hearing around the island all week?

*Chitter*

Kanan: Ah, yes. But louder.

Sparkle: And at Caritas, Atton set one foot into the place and all the weird retreated. ATTON. MAN. WHY. That was the best!

Kanan: You're a strange man, Sparkle.

Sparkle: Thank you, Kanan. Hey, any idea what the weird this week is yet?

Kanan: Not yet, but I'm sure we'll all be properly horrified when we find out. Until next week, Fandom, stay safe. Kanan -

Sparkle: - And Sparkle! -

Kanan: Out.

*Unzip! Zip! Unzip! Zip! Unz--*

Faaandom, hey, welcome to Cold Showers week, in which like half the island's population spends all their time itchy and uncomfortable and I swear to god I'm gonna leave. For the whole week. JUST SEE IF I DON'T, FANDOM.

*Chitter!*

... Take that outside.

Hey, Fandom, this is Sparkle, and I'm gonna read off these notes and bail. Like, super bail. I will probably grab Hernando and drag him away too but I don't need to be on the island for--

*Chitter*

Outside!

*Silence*

I've got notes, anyway. Like how at the school, Lana was learning about Prom from some of the library books.

They had something called - and I'm doing airquotes here - Adventure Pancakes for Kanan's shift at Luke's. Summer didn't wanna know, and that's probably a smart move, so she talked about different types of adventures, instead. Sabine did want to know, which is why she wound up chasing a chicken around Luke's, and Jack stopped by to drink coffee and complain about how well-behaved the students are. I think she's throwing a rave.

... JACK. TAP ME IN. I HAVE GLITTER.

Summer was kicking the Vet out of Furnado to go take a spa day, yesterday. I was at Demon Marcus doing some googling when Hernando had some sweets sent my way - he is the best and you should all be lucky enough to have one - and Atton was outside Caritas chain-smoking in order to avoid some sportsball event or whatever. Sia stopped by to visit Atton and they agreed on mutual not getting stabbed which, yes, is a great thing to agree to, guys. A+ plan I approve, putting a stamp on that. Jack stopped by to ask about where to go to get stun weapon stuff. And... Hernando? He stopped by to-

*pause*

To also chat with Atton oh my god that's all the notes I need to bury my face in my hands forever bye.

Heeeey, Fandom! It's Sparkle again and the notes are just the way I like 'em - short - so I'm going to read these, and then maybe I'll go back to bed or something.

Mmmm, bed.

*Chitter!*

I mean, what do you expect, it's Monday, guys.

Anyway, at the school, Lana was having a nice and normal library shift, doing some self-motivated studies.

I know that feeling, Lana. Demon Marcus was weirdly normal too, so I just started swapping out the winter stock for spring clothes. Jonothon was playing guitar at Groovy Tunes, there were pancakes being tossed around during Kanan's shift at Luke's, and at the MCA, Karolina was watching that British baking show when Beau showed up and they were - I am quoting the squirrels here - really stinkin' cute.

I'm pretty sure I couldn't have reported on a more normal day on the island if the squirrels had handed me a note about someone going to the store to buy toilet paper, so well done on not being all messed-up yesterday, Island. And that's me for the day, Sparkle out.

Mooorning, Fandom! It's Sparkle again, and I've got notes again, so I'm sitting in the radio station at tooo early in the morning for this, again, when I could be in bed.

That's how you know I care. Clearly. Gawd.

Anyway, I'm gonna make this quick and maybe I'll be able to get more sleep when I'm done. At the school, Lana was an hour late. Welcome to Hell, Lana. Everyone's gonna be cranky for weeks while we get used to waking up an hour earlier for - question mark question mark question mark - reasons?


In town, Liam met with Kaidan on the beach and got all, 'hey, are your devices turned off?' and I don't think I have ever in my life met a note that so strongly hinted that there were about to be no more notes on the topic to follow. I kinda like it. At Dite's, Kathy was out setting up a treasure hunt for Saint Paddy's Day, and... now I wanna go to Dite's and hunt for treasure. Sex treasure. Summer walked into a going-away party for Carl at the Furnado, and brought one of the cupcakes, probably made by an actual rat, to Kanan at Luke's. For those wondering, apparently Carl is a hedgehog. Aww. Jack stopped by too, and got to hear all about monkeys and lions and bears - oh my - before telling Kanan all about her new starfish.

... I wanna starfish.

Jono had silence over at the Groovy Tunes, and then he had an Octavia, who didn't let the quiet stop her from asking about a drum kit. Which they hauled outside so that she could actually try it out. And I was doing some sketching at the Demon Marcus, which was interrupted by surprise cake.

*Chitter*

Nah, there wasn't any occasion, but we made one.

And that is all the notes! Until next week, Fandom.

Hiii, Fandom, it's Sparkle, here in the radio station to bring you allll the gossip about what happened on the island yesterday. Which... wasn't much. People are getting complacent after their trip to ICELAND or whatever.

... And me. I just slept in and didn't see any point in going to work yesterday anyway. But if anyone has any burning need to buy clothes right now you can always just text me or whatever. I'm in the directory.

Anyway, yeah, notes- Lana was regaling the books in the library with stories about her trip to, siiiigh, Iceland.

Prompto was in the park playing fetch with Zack's dog after a run around the island. Aww, dog. And when Summer went to Furnado, her cat was totally tagging along, since she was apparently holding a grudge over Summer leaving her to go to Iceland.

I feel you, Pancakes.

Anyway, that's all the news! Sparkle out. I'm gonna go back to being lazy for another day or two, really milk this whole spring break thing.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh hi Fandom welcome back I guess. This is Sparkle, damn right I made the squirrels come to me this morning, and you all get to listen to me read the notes while I try like a valiant [BEEP]ing hero to make a decent cup of coffee in Hernando's weird pocket reality tea shop home.

School had nothin'. Dorms had nothin'. All smart students clearly went, 'nope' and buried themselves under their pillows waiting for their memories to come back. Bonus marks for that, you all graduate, congratulations. Over in town, Fenris-calling-himself-Anders opened the flower shop and got right to making Valentine's arrangements with a kittenwillow on his shoulder. Kanan-with-a-haircut couldn't remember that Sundays are pancake days at Luke's. Jack was way more concerned about where the hell his hair all went, though. Eliot-calling-himself-Wes speculated that we might all be part of some big stupid experiment, which, you know, if someone were to tell me that's what Fandom's been all along, I'd buy that. Parker-now-Alice had to announce the presence of giant buffalo in the woods, so I guess she met the alots, though Wes and Jean-Luc Pichardison were pretty sure bison don't even go here.

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised to see one working in the office someday.

Jean-Luc and Wes then chatted about what they're gonna get off the menu. Not pancakes, I guess. Kitty and Lexi both showed up too, and Kanan made her a milkshake, because god only knows what you'd get if you ordered something from the kitchen yesterday. Also? Jean-Luc loves babies. Because he is a good man with a pure soul and not a total monster or something. Aww.

Jonothon but not Jonothon's memories were having a hard time of things on the beach, but Jack showed up to remind him about mental barriers before there was a... the squirrels are calling it 'an oops involving medigel,' and I have no idea what that means, but aparently it involved calling for Kaidan's help too. At Caritas, Atton was offering a free drink to anyone with memories and lemonade to anyone without, and man, I would've felt so cheated if I stopped to the bar to drink away my total lack of troubles and you just gave me a lemonade, you dick. Anyway, Jack apparently super needed the drink, and Sia called for a distraction - Atton, sometimes girls are gonna call. Especially ones that you're friends with, man. And Another-More-Other-Jack ordered the lemonade, if that's any indication of how his day was going.

And that's all the notes. Wish me luck with this coffee.

*Pouring sounds*

*Sipping sounds*

... Oh god. Babe? I'm making a run to the Perk, back in a bit!

Fandom! Good morning! This is Sparkle. Which you probably knew by now if you've been listening to the radio on Mondays, hi. I am here to drink the squirrels' rum and read the squirrels' news, but mostly that first one, let's be real.

*Chittering*

Love you guys. Gimme notes, I wanna gossip.

Okay, so at the school, Lana was doing research about bowling in the library. And, I mean, that's great, but the important question is whether she was researching ten-pin, or real bowling.

I am a Canadian with a five-pin bias and I'm not even a little bit ashamed.

In town, Summer unleashed a puppy stampede to hoover up stray kibble at Furnado, and I think that is the single most practical use for puppies I have ever heard. Kanan had had one of those mornings before his Luke's shift, which led to telling Summer the saga of the bathroom gremlin - oh god my personal nightmare - and Jack being disappointed that he didn't keep the body. Because there wasn't one. I mean, I'm just saying, if ever there was just cause to murder a goddamn gremlin...

Ahem.

Kathy had so many taxes to file at Dite's yesterday, so understandably she was thrilled to get a customer in the form of Hernando, who came in asking for... glittery...

Oooh.

Oh hi.

...

*Chittering!*

Oh! Uh, right. The squirrels insist I read this disclaimer about how Dite's values the privacy of their customers and that this note was delivered to me upon special request by my absolutely shameless boyfriend. The proprietor of Dite's would like Fandom's population to rest assured that she continues to stock only the finest in squirrel-bribe rum, so that your shopping experience can be conducted with total peace of mind.

The squirrels neglected to mention that all bets are off once you're in your own bedrooms, so be wary of that and ready your bribes, all you sexy people.

Anyway, Kathy also got a visit by Eddie, for a visit, presumably, not necessarily for glittery sex toys, but they did have a chat about Kathy's tendency to call everybody by Mr. or Mrs. or whatever. I wonder if there's there, like, a gender neutral form of that?

*Pause* Google to the rescue. I guess it's like, Mx. or Ind. for, like, paperwork. Noooo clue how that'd translate to talking out loud.

ANYWAY. At Caritas, Atton Did Not Want To Know about the zombies' shiny new DNA testing kit. He did some texting with Sia, presumably about pee sticks, and this is the hard news, people. This right here. Jack came in to chat Atton up, and she and Beau talked about the Drunk and Bored club at Miguel's pla-- MIGUEL WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME, JERK? I'm bored, like, all the time. God. And Beau and Jack talked about people to invite and I can't help but notice I wasn't on that list, Jack. Jack. Jaaaack. Jack. We're starting our own club. You're buying drinks.

And that's all the notes! So I'm going to just be here embracing the 'day-drinking with squirrels' club I just started, and none of you suckers are invited. Sparkle out.

Moooorning, Fandom! This is Sparkle with your Monday morning news about whatever people actually managed to do on a lazy Sunday. Which isn't much, but might be newsworthy, let's find out.

Nothing at the school or in the dorms yesterday, because there are no classes and anybody who doesn't have to pay rent was probably sleeping in, but in town we had Jono making music at the Groovy Tunes, Summer accidentally naming a cat at Furnado - that's how they getcha, yeah. Then there was the sad sad goatee man eating pancakes at Luke's and hearing Summer's sale of Pancakes the cat, before Jack informed him that she was gonna steal his dog. I mean. He seems like a pretty great dog, I'll give them that. And then I was dealing with an order of mis-delivered orchits at Demon Marcus, but was distracted by Hernando when he came in shopping for pants.

Leather ones.

Which does not at all explain why I'm passing up rum for coffee this morning, stop looking at me like that, guys.

Okay yeah it kinda do--

Sparkle: Aha! I knew you guys couldn't resist the urge to drag me here forever. One time covering for someone and now you're all hooked again, right?

*Chittering*

Sparkle: Yeah, I missed you too, now pour me a glass of that stuff and let's get this broadcast on the--

*Door opens*

Kanan: Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Slept in. Usually one of you is pelting me with acorns by no--oh.

( Well, this is awkward. )

Hey, Fandom! It's Sparkle again, here to cover for the usual Monday guy because, and I'm quoting the squirrels here, they're trying to respect the sanctity of the day after a bar crawl. That's kind of sweet, guys. You know I'm gonna have you a hard time for not respecting the sanctity of the day after a hot date, though.

That's right you better look sheepish as you give me those notes.

At the school, Lana was getting dating advice from the library books one day late, and aw, I hope your dates didn't go that bad, Lana. Meanwhile, in her office, Brooke was working, possibly because she knew about the heist thing and was not gonna miss that.

Gotta respect that.

In the dorms - hey, a dorms note! - Theron was taking apart an engine or something on the deck, where Jaylah stopped by and they chatted a while about how the rooms are too small for doing much in.

... I can name a few things they aren't too small for, but I'll be good.

In town, Kaidan was puzzling over some stuff at the perk, Fenris got to deal with a kittenwillow with a case of the zoomies at the flower shop - ohmygod I want one - Bob was offering amnesia potions at the Magic Box, and Jono was sitting in the silence at the Groovy Tunes. At Luke's, Kanan was wondering what 'adventure' meant when Hernando stopped by and they started chatting about holidays instead. And my Demon Marcus shift was actually pretty busy, what with a visit from Sidon looking for an assist with something, some catching up via texting with Sia, and Lana stopping in to look for some clothing help, too.

*Chittering*

Aw, yeah, my date with Hernando did go well last night too, thanks for asking, guys.

And that's all the notes! You know, I miss this? Monday Guy should go on bar crawls more often.

Okay, okay, I'm coming. I mean, I've got a portal to catch, but I'm coming. What happened to the usual guy, anyway?

*Chittering*

He... has a portal to catch. And it's more important than the one I have to catch, really?

( Sparkle Radio! )

Heeeey, radio station. Been a while since I've been in here, how are you doing, guys?

*Chittering*

Nah, I haven't seen your nuts, but share me some of that rum and I'll pick up a tin of macadamias for you at Turtle & Canary after the broadcast. How's that sound?

*Sloshy!*

Yeah, I missed you guys too. Hey, Fandom. It's Sparkle. Here with notes, because I guess Dr. Lecter couldn't make it in or something. Or maybe the squirrels just wanted someone to share their rum with. Either way, I've got notes. School notes, even! Friendship and Stabbing talked about the importance of the buddy system and something about being careful with macguffins. I... don't know what that means. In Urban Survival I talked to the class about how some luxuries are really actually important things that people need, and Art watched a movie about the Mexican artist, Frida Kahlo.

In town, Kitty was procrastinating when she probably should have been getting work done over at the Perk. Some new barista said unkind things about Eliot's hair, so he and Kitty talked about the humidity, and boredom, and what life is like with superpowers. I'm pretty sure the answer is 'totally overrated' but I'm still jealous of people who have them, so... Anyway, a shirtless Clint showed up for coffee and got wolf-whistled at by his wife, which is the appropriate response because those arms, but also holy shit guy it's cold out there, I'm betting you could've put someone's eye out with your nipples, dude.

At Furnado, Sidon was feeling bittersweet about a fish he liked being adopted out, until he realized that, no, one of the cats just ate it. Octavia was giving lilies away for free at Covent Garden, which the squirrels tell me was more about melancholy than marketing. And at the Magic Box, Jenkins was being stampeded at by little blue dudes.

And here the worst I get at my business is gremlins. And occasionally sharks. Either way, that's all the notes the squirrels shoved at me, so I guess now I need to make good on my word and go get some nuts for these guys. They're starting to look twitchy, even for squirrels.

Uuuugh. Uuuugh, it's Saturday, I should be in bed right now, guys. What'd you drag me here for anyway?

*Chittering*

No, I kind of figured that. I mean, where's the guy who usually does it on Saturdays?

*Chittering*

... Well, why can't I have a hangover? Here, you give me those notes and share that rum, and I think we can get this super important world-changing news out to the people I'm sure are up at the asscrack of dawn waiting to hear this.

Hey, Fandom. This is Sparkle, and I'm here to give you all the news you were probably dying to hear about what's going on around the island. Starting wiiiiith... *Paper rustling* Righto. School, where American History watched a movie about the space race and there was an important talk about learning where your limits are in Defending Yourself Against Magic. Good luck getting like half the people on the island to pay attention to that one, Bob.

StuCo was talking prom, and it's sounding like the going theme of the year might be glittery romance vikings which is a combination that doesn't sound too far-fetched. I mean, Vikings loved too, right? And in not-Stu-Co news, the books were crying over at the Library, which meant Lucille was having a tough time getting some reading in edgewise.

Over in town, above Luke's, Eliot presented Parker and Hardison with some anniversary camping plans, and knowing Hardison I'd say this is a case of really not paying attention to what an appropriate anniversary surprise for somebody might be, but I guess there was some adult coercion involved, so maybe that was the point.

And finally, at the Devil's Nest, Allie got the Candy Crush jackpot with a full day of free play. Sounds like a good way to pass the time between customers to me, anyway.

And that looks like all the notes, so I'm going to take this rum, *sloshy* and chill out here for a little longer. Drinking with squirrels this early in the morning is way less weird than drinking alone.

Hoooly god that's a lot of notes. Something's going on this weekend, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I bet there's a something.

*Papers rustling*

... Oh, Fandom. You crazy sadistic island, you. Makes me happy to be graduating in a week, you have no idea. Anyway, I'm going to read these, and I'm going to be thankful that I don't have any dead people crawling all over me today, okay? Nothing against you dead people listening at home, I mean. Just, you know, some people should stay that way.

( I Read About Dead People Radio )

Whoa, jeeze. Seriously, guys? You came here too? I mean, of course you did. Of course. But, like, wow. That is some impressive portable setup. How are you going to keep it running, anyway? The power here has been, um. Super great. Really.

... Is that a portable generator? Isn't that going to be a little lou-

*Br-br-br-HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMRMMMMMM!!!!*

Shine on, you crazy butterflies. I'll try to get this over with fast so that nobody feels the need to come out of their tent with a pellet gun.

( Camping Radio! )

Hiii, Fandom. This is Sparkle, taking important time out of my day to come talk to you over the radio, instead of, like, doing my own thing somewhere else, so you had all better be grateful, I'm just saying.

You know what I'm grateful for? The fact that nothing happened over at the school today at all, so I can skip straight to the creepy dorms notes without banter, because that's how many better things to do I have today. So there. Aaaanyway, Flick was, like, super upset in his room about a letter his girlfriend left him. On parchment. In Latin. Which, for the record, is weird. Travis was taking selfies in his room when Face came in and made Travis jump before naturally assuming he'd interrupted a good wank or something. Like, you don't know. Maybe they were really good selfies? In his room, Ezra got as far as dressing up pretty before deciding he didn't actually want to go out, so he was reading a gossip magazine when Ronan showed up to... I guess be bitchy at him in the doorway? You know, be generally Ronan about things. Plus he told to Ezra touch himself, which is apparently the running theme of all of these dorm notes and further proof that the squirrels are creepy whenever they come back from spying on them.

Over in town, like clockwork for this time of year, I guess we got, like, invaded? That'll happen from time to time, Fandom. You get used to it. Anyway, some guy called Spider-Man (and that's a stupid name, I mean come on, like seriously) and Tony Stark fought some... vultures? I guess? And then Kitty, Jalian, Hardison, and Minako all went underground to save the island and the multiverse, which I guess is all in a day's work or something, isn't it? Above ground, the good fight continued, with Aeryn shooting at these vultures outside the Perk. Like, really, we were invaded by birds? I was off island for most of the day, I'm kind of almost sorry I missed the excitement, except for how I'd probably die and I don't want to get pecked off by a buzzard in my prime, here.

At the Dracula was playing... really... crashy music? Which I guess is just heavy metal or something. Mr. Gaunt opened Needful Things, and was accosted by Cassandra, who needed to see a guy about a - I can't even pronounce that word, okay - and some teal deer pelts. I stopped in to make amends for the whole stealing-a-stupid-ceramic-frog thing from him, which went surprisingly well. I guess he's actually a pretty great guy when you're not stealing from his store? And then there was even an after dark rush, with Allie poking around because the island doesn't get new shops all that often, and Dracula taking a peek at the store's art selection.

Over at Caritas, Mike was giving out mustache-candies on a pretty slow night, so naturally the squirrels had to invade like every apartment and house on the island too, because, I dunno, they have a quota or something. Like, why the hell else would anybody care about Tamsin losing her hair and dumping it in the trash? Come on. And, oh jeeze, the super exciting tale of Hardison and Parker rummaging through their apartment for something that got misplaced. Kitty kinda flopped over for a nap after getting back from saving the multiverse and all, and was joined by a dog and by Clint, who decided that napping Kitties are adorable. As ya do. Doctor Lecter stopped by Jono's apartment with a shiny thing in a little bag, but, like, squirrels are useless and seriously, the note just goes on at length about how the shiny thing looked. It was pink and broken. Gold star, Squirrels. Is... is that an illustration in the margins? C'mon. At least the squirrel who grabbed the note about Jess resting up in a hotel room was useful. See, the note here says, "Jess was in a hotel room. Resting. Spider-Man (stupid name) visited to talk about someone they lost, and Sia visited to check up on her and talk about spiders." And like seriously that's all my notes and I have an important phone call to make? So, like, Sparkle Out.

Fandom! Faaandom, hiiii. Sparkle here, and I actually didn't miss you at all and want to go back to Mexico. I figured I'd get that off my chest before the squirrels shove these notes at me. Hear that? I didn't miss you! Or your stupid pollen, or your invasions, or your freaking cold...

*Chittering*

I know I'm Canadian. Why do you think so many of us make like geese and fly south for the winter? Mexico is awesome, is what I'm saying here. And doesn't generally come with freak blizzards that end in an infestation of bad-decision flowers. And that's all I'm going to say about that. Gimme the notes.

And of course the first one is about how yesterday was the last day of the cruise, with all its, you know, mostly-private rooms and weird shitty food and swimming and, like, it's a boat. It had a deck. Where there was more swimming. And bars. I liked the bars.

But, you know, all good things don't last forever or whatever the saying is, so we all came back to Fandom, where, in the dorms, Flick unpacked and checked his e-mail.

In not-the-dorms, Derek and Stiles did the flirting, cuddling thing at home, and Atton took a call and then, um, left. Which, like, whatever he left for this time better turn out okay, or I'm stuffing his fridge full of broccoli. And, like, over at the Gig, Mary stopped by to drop off some borrowed clothes to Dani, and they talked about some kind of pollen-related thing which I'm going to just assume from what the notes gave me was a walk of shame. Which, you know, I'm not sure why they call it that? It should be called a walk of fuck-yeah-I-totally-scored-last-night. I think a lot of us did that one last week. Like, a lot.

So congratulations on seeing some action, Mary!

Yesterday, though, all the real action was over at Caritas, where there were three minute dates as hosted by a somewhat blackmailed Joanie Storm! People drank up some liquid courage before we all went five rounds in fifteen minutes, dating some of Fandom's best and most bodacious.

Shut up, it alliterated.

Anyway, after we went our five rounds with mostly-strangers, Caritas was open for the post-date liquid courage crowd. Jalian and Ezra talked about their respective dates, and Mike and Tamsin talked about Mike's bed. Hey, squirrels, is there, like, a bow-chicka-bow-bow sound effect anywhere? Or should I just try to find some seventies porn tracks, which I'm pretty sure is the only time seventies music is even still cool anymore?

*Chittering?*

Oh god, I love you guys. And Fandom, I'm taking off, but when I do, I'm going to leave you with one hour of deep funky beats for you to do, you know, whatever the hell you want to do to. Bow-chicka-bow.

Faaaaaaaaaaandom. Fandom why do you have to be this way? Why do you hate us? I mean, like, my last night was awesome thankyouverymuch so I'm not complaining as much as I could be, but like, this is going to keep going for a while, isn't it? Yeah. Yeaaaah. Anyway, I have notes here, and reading these is going to be a magical journey through both time and sexual frustration so let's get this over with as soon as possible, huh?

( Valentine's News! )

Hey, Fandom! This is Sparkle, here to bring you snowball radio on this fine first of February! We have, like, two notes that aren't about the snowball fight, so let's leap right into that so we can get to it, huh?

( Snowball Radio )

So, coming in on Sundays is gonna be the new Thursday, is it? Okay, squirrels, you win. But only because this means I have a reason to haul my ass out of bed to get to work on Sundays, now.

Hey, Fandom. My name is Sparkle, I am, in fact, really damn sparkly right now, and, like, I could use about ten pounds of coffee right now.

*Sloshy*

( Sparkle Party Radio! )

Hey, Fandom. So, like, it's the first broadcast of 2015, and there is one squirrel here. I mean, the little guy's passed out face-first in rum, but judging by the fact that he's the only one here with notes for me this morning, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that he's earned the nap.

I feel ya, little guy. I'll leave some water for you to drink when you wake up. God knows I need that, too. Ugh. Happy nothing, my head hates you all and the sun and it's probably a matter of time before I blow up one or the other, I figure. So I'm going to read these notes. And then maybe I'll just, like, have a nap under the radio control console thing until this hangover pisses off.

I guess, like, everything the squirrel wanted to cover today was in town. Or, at least, everybody left on the island was in town and they happened to all go to the same party. Except for Alana, who was working at the Book Haven and telling the books how much she missed 'em. Okay, that's kind of cute. I don't know that I'd get so sentimental if I ever decided to get off my ass and go back to pull a shift at Demon Marcus, but I'm sure the books appreciated it more than the Gucci ever would.

Everyone else was at Caritas, partying down with a bunch of well-dressed zombies. Minako was doing the karaoke thing, because, you know, Minako. And I'm not even going to tease her for the Taylor Swift she was apparently singing because, screw it, I can't even deny that stuff is catchy. Constantine avoided the party, sitting over at the bar instead, because not everyone who goes to a bar on New Year's Eve wants to mingle, I guess.

But, you know, everyone else seemed to be doing okay at it. Hell, even Atton was there, catching up with Sia about Jedi things and other galaxy things, all that stuff. Kitty and Éponine talked about their respective years and about maybe being optimistic about the next one, and guys, if that works for you, knock yourselves out. Irene's dress earned her a compliment from Kitty before the conversation turned to how we're in the future now, and flying cars and road trips, and I don't know... I'd settle for that hoverboard that the movies have been promising me for ages, now. Hannibal and Irene caught up and talked about accessorizing, too, and I'm kind of regretting missing this party if it was all Taylor Swift and fashion, I'm going to admit that now.

Kitty offered Hatter a hat for his hat, which isn't actually as much of a mouthful as I thought it would be when I saw it on paper, and they talked about, like, neck strain. And anvils. Irene's conversation with him involved fewer anvils and more holiday traditions. Like platonic midnight kisses. There were walks about less platonic midnight kisses too, from Kitty and Clint. And actual, real kissing, too. I guess maybe they were going for a kiss every hour as different timezones rolled into 2015, too? They started with the UK.

Of course, those of us not doing multiple countdowns last night had an actual midnight in the here-on-the-island to look forward to. And good freaking riddance to 2014, right?

Now, I'm going to get back to celebrating 2015 by... look, that spot right there looks comfy. Auld lang syne and all that. Sparkle out.