WTFH

This be *hic* likeguidelines 'n I be so happy t' hear th' sound o' me own voice ye be havin' no idea.

Hello!
*pounding feet away from the microphone*
Hello!
*more pounding feet*
Hello!
*even more pounding feet*
Hello!

*pause*

I might've had a mite too much rum at Car...um...the kara...um...wit' GOB t'night.

'nyway.

On wit' th' show!

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic

Princip'l o' Vice Pierce be tellin' all ye up at the school that if ye be caught out o' doors tonight he be hangin' ye from the yardarm, then kickin' yer asses out o' school. *hic* Sadly, none o' ye were. It's been a long time since I be seein' someone hung from the yardarm. I be missin' it.

Roomin'

In the fifth floor common room, Cally be givin' Nadia cereal 'n then pokin' her. If what I be hearin' about Cally these days be true, that be definitely a euphe...sexy thing. Regargled...regardle...ANYWAY, Walter 'n Nadia be havin' breakfast t'gether, then be decidin' t' do different things fer the rest o' the day. Mayhap Walter be not wantin' t' be poked by Cally.

*drunken snickering*

Jude 'n S-wench were doin' somethin' terribly kinky wit' a phone in the fourth floor common room 'n Peter 'n Susan P-somethin' were not bein' kinky AT ALL because they be related 'n that be wrong wrong wrong. *hic*

Seras be puttin' up posters 'n sendin' out email--floatin' grinnin' men be bad. Duly noted. Floatin' grinnin' mateys be familiar t' Dawn--be ye datin' them, wench?--so she be tryin' t' tell Sam-who-be-not-a-wench 'n Molly.

Back up in the fifth floor common room, Walter 'n Nadia be mimes. That be a beatin' offense where I be comin' from. Seras be elevatin' the threat wit' charades: ooh, I be sayin' it right. That be deserving a drink. *sounds of drinking, then pirate belching. Oooh. Classy.* Phoebe 'n Pippi be wavin' at each other. Boooooorin', but not a beatin' offense.

Nadia, after gettin' beat last night be back in the gym fer more from Pip. No one be thar t' beat up Parker, though. Sad. She be able t' terrify Broots without words, too. Be she not wearin' makeup or somethin'? *hic*

In beatin' up news that be not in the gym, Sam-who-be-not-a-wench 'n Dean-who-be-not-Alec be beatin' each other up. They be not shirtless--sorry, Molly 'n Dawn. Mayhaps Alec-who-be-not-Dean's M&Ms be cheerin' ye. And aye, that could be a euph--another word fer sex.

Zero's sister be havin' twins! Be they named One 'n Two? *roars of laughter* Oh, I be killin' me. S-wench be gettin' a letter. It be not about me, so I be not carin'.

*more drinking sounds*

Marty 'n Angela be celebratin' thar ten month anniversary. I bet thar be dirty goin' on. Speakin' o' dirty, Al be findin' salt by his door. Practice safe lunch, me hearties! Always use a condiment! Especially ye, John 'n Aeryn!

*way more laughter than strictly necessary*

Tim be sick yesterday. Did ye lose yer voice? *more laughter* Marie be wakin' up Willow who be asleep on her books, just in time fer Seras t' come by t' talk about the attack last night, poor wench. She be gettin' ice cream. She be needin' rum. Come on over here 'n I'll give you rum. I'll give ye rum right now!

*sounds of pouring*

That be not workin' as well as I thought. Bel be stoppin' by as well 'n as far as I can tell be gettin' neither rum nor ice cream. Poor Bel. He be deprived.

Cally 'n Ver....that V-wench wit' the name that has waaaaay too many syllallallalla...letters fer tonight be checkin' in on each other. Cam be stoppin' by too. Jack be glad t' find Cedric. He be less happy t' find that Cedric be hurt.

In the second floor common room, Parker who wasn't beat up be worried about Jarod, Jack, Sam-who-be-a-wench, 'n Cedric. I be not. But I be a leeeeeetle drunk. Don't tell, okay? Bel thinks this would've been better if demonic monkeys be involved. Creepy demonic monkeys--if they be showin' up next, I be holdin' ye accountable fer it! Parker 'n Bel be frustrated together. I be hearin' sex be clearin' that sort o' thing right up. Bridge be comparin' notes--I be guessin' literally today--wit' Phoebe about empathic headaches.

*pause*

I be not knowin' what that is. She be tellin' Parker--well not tellin'--about them, too, then cooin' about Bel's owies from his fight wit' Anakin. 'n since Bridge be in the common room, thar be a Xander. But Parker be happy t' see him too. Be ye datin' Xander as well, wench?

Up on the fifth floor *rustles notes* AGAIN? *long suffering sigh* Nadia's watchin' AKA 'n Pippi, Cally, Walter, Anakin, Seras, Alphonse, Greg, Xander-who-be-not-wit'-Bridge, S-wench 'n Briar all be stoppin' by. Thar be all manner o' chit-chat. And food. Always food. It's not interestin' because none o' them be talkin' about rum, wenches or pirates. Wait. *laughter* Greg be askin' Anakin if he be a witch. No. He be a duck. Be gettin' it straight!

'n Tim be in the third floor common room. Whee!

Revelin' 'n Kickin' Ass. Sometimes at the same time!

*sounds of something sloshing* Oh, that be bad. *piratey whimpering* Why's the rum gone?!

Oh, be I still on the air? Hellooooooo Fandom! *hic*

Alfred sent e-mail 'n I don't care,
People ate brunch 'n I don't care,
people be shootin' at creepy spooky guys 'n now I caaaaaaaaare...
'cause they've all gone away!

*laughter* How'd ye like me song? Good job, Ninja, by the way. *hic*

In other things that I be not carin' about, Gwynn be at Luke's t' see Tim 'n Seras, Walter 'n Edmund be lookin' at the damage t' All 'n Sundries. It be worse than a bar fight in Tortuaga, that be fer sure.

*sigh* I be missin' bar fights.

ANYWAY. Jamie be gettin' visited by Nadia 'n Pippi this mornin' at the clinic, 'n Jarod 'n Becky be checkin' in durin' the evenin'.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. I be salutin' all ye, includin' our mitey fine Troopers wit' the nice hats. G'night!

*thunk*

*snoring*

*dead air*