WTFH

Here's the schedule for radio tryouts, starting Monday, January 5. Please let me know if you need a different date, and apply for membership to the radio comm so we can get you hooked up with access!

Good luck!

Monday, January 5: Arthur Pendragon
Tuesday, January 6: Minsc & Boo
Wednesday, January 7: Lacey & Katchoo
Thursday, January 8: Emmett Cullen
Friday, January 9: Turtle Wexler
Saturday, January 10: J. Jonah Jameson
Sunday, January 11: Claudia Kishi
Monday, January 12: Hoshi
Tuesday, January 13: The Winchester Brothers
Wednesday, January 14: Jack Burton
Thursday, January 15: Cable & Deadpool
Friday, January 16: Minsc & Boo
Saturday, January 17: Jamie Madrox

A very familiar voice came over the airwaves. "This be the pirate, beloved by wenches 'n squirrels alike, though in very diff'rent ways, here t' announce some very important news--we be havin' our radio broadcasters for the next while on Fandom Isle. The list e'en be in alphabetical-type order because one o' the squirrels be a mite anal.

"Without further ado, here they be:

The Doctor
Lois Lane
Toby Moraitis
Robin Scherbatsky
Reno o' the Turks 'n Jenny Sparks
Turtle Wexler
Sam 'n Dean Winchester

"Congratulations t' all o' ye! 'n just as a reminder, thar be no monetary compensation for such an honor."

[OOC: Thank you so, so much to those who tried out. The voting was insanely close this time around.]

The time of year when we look for radio talent! And we’re looking for a few good men/women/talking animals to become the island's voice for the next semester.

Students, teachers, townies, newcomers, old hands—everyone is welcome to try out.

Beginning Monday, May 12 (the first full week with all the newbies), everyone who’s interested—new talent and old talent—will have an on-air audition (meaning that they’ll do a recap for everyone to read. It’ll also give them an idea of how much time the coding will take and give them a final chance to flee from the chaos).

We’ll then put up a poll and you’ll all get to vote for the seven people/things who will be bringing the news to Fandom for the summer

This is also your chance to do a one-off: if you've always wanted to do radio for just one night, here's the place to volunteer for it! Aren't I sweet? You can also sign up here to volunteer to become an honorary squirrel: one of our intrepid research staffers.

If you're interested, please drop a comment in this post.

Thanks!

Good evenin', Fandom! It be It be I, Barbossa, th' island's most famous pirate, bringin' ye the highs 'n lows o' today.

*weetiny squirrel cheers*

( On to the news! )

That be all fer us here at the Crow's Nest. Have a good night, Fandom!

Frozen Puck to the Head - Captain Tractor

It be Monday, I be bored, so it be pirate radio night!

*sounds of massive squirrel applause*

Go on, wake yer friends. I'll wait fer a moment.

*dead air*

I be Barbossa, this be the mighty WTFH, 'n ye all be mighty busy today, aye?

( Where Barbossa talks a lot. )

That be all from the Crow's Nest tonight. Keep an eye out fer Matey-wit'-the-Hat 'n his lovely wench who be not a frog, nor likin' t' be called Haunches, 'n have a good tomorrow.

The time of year when we look for radio talent! And we’re looking for a few good men/women/talking animals to become the island's voice for the next semester.

Students, teachers, townies, newcomers, old hands—everyone is welcome to try out.

Beginning Monday, January 6 (the first day of classes with all of the newbies, we play hardcore, yeah), everyone who’s interested—new talent and old talent —will have an on-air audition (meaning that they’ll do a recap for everyone to read. It’ll also give them an idea of how much time the coding will take and give them a final chance to flee from the chaos).

I’ll then put up a poll and you’ll all get to vote for the seven people/things who will be bringing the news to Fandom for the next semester.

This is also your chance to do a one-off: if you've always wanted to do radio for just one night, here's the place to volunteer for it! Aren't I sweet? You can also sign up here to volunteer to become an honorary squirrel: one of our intrepid research staffers.

If you're interested, please drop a comment in this post.

Thanks!


Take It Easy (Live) - Eagles

I be likeguidelines, which be making this the one, the only, Pirate Radio.

Be ye missin' me at all? O' course ye have! I be ruggedly good-lookin' even when I not be a bottle o' rum. Which were the best thing ever, in case ye be wonderin'.

We be movin' on, though. Bottles o' rum cannot do a broadcast. Believe me, I be tryin' some days.

Readin', Writin', 'n 'Rithamatic
Hades be makin' some manner o' announcement. I be suspectin' it be not "his hair be fabulous," as me notes say. Mayhaps he be needin' some manner o' pick-me-up, though, in which case, I be sure his hair be terribly appealin' 'n in no way destructive t' the paint on the ceilin' o' the radio studio.

Tannim be eatin' alone today, Isabel be openin' the library, 'n Yomiko 'n Angela be thar, too, as good library wenches be. Irulan--who be havin' some wonderful hats, by the way--be stoppin' by t' chat about the weekend. Her roommate were turned into a blonde with enormous tracts o' land! Lucky wench. *mutters* Oh? The squirrels be sayin' I should be doin' this.

*blows whistle*

I be thinkin' the squirrels be gettin' into the rum when I be not watchin'.

Forensic Science--wit' the lovely Molly as victim o' the week--be learnin' about matchin' wounds t' weapons. It be a fine art, tellin' the difference between a scimitar 'n a broadsword wound. Jes' ask me friend No Arms McCoy. Anyway, the students investigate the scene o' the crime, then go back t' the lab 'n announce the murderer. It were no one ye know. *shuffles papers* Wait. It be sayin' the butler did it. Be *that* why Alfred skipped town?

Huntin' be learnin' about the importance o' salt 'n iron. Mixed together properly, they be makin' one heck o' an appetizer. They be gettin' toys from Professor Winchester--since he be such a cuddly type, I be bettin' the toys be soft 'n pink--then talk about their experience wit' firearms. Since this be Huntin', I be guessin' that be not a euphemism. Although Chris be askin' Parker t' show him how t' use his, so...it might be. Anyway, Neil be wonderin' if thar be alternatives t' firearms offered in the next class. Ye go up against something nasty 'n tryin' t' kill ye with a sharp pokey stick or a firm word or whatever. See how that works fer ye.

Spy Tech be rescuin' a kidnapped wench. I be not knowin' her name, so I be callin' her Ima Easyncheep. *laughter* I be crackin' meself up. They also be turnin' in thar cameras from last week's homework 'n Annette? The squirrels still be a mite cranky with ye, wench.

US History be watchin' the Colbert Report wit' Hades o' the fabulous hair. Willow be wonderin' if Hades be likin' her fruit basket, which I be assumin' be actually involvin' fruit as it be Willow 'n I might be a pirate but thar be some places even I be not comfortable going, and Blair be flailin' like a flailin' thing that flails.

*pause* Ye need t' stop watchin' terrible television in yer time off, me hearties.

*squirrelly shuffling*

Engineerin' talks about makin' rhubarb pie. Or engineerin', but I be thinkin' mine be more interestin'. They be workin' on homework--when they be not passin' notes, Bridge 'n Willow--'n then Bridge 'n Cally be apologizin' fer bein' giant class-skippin' slackers last week.

Aye, we do know everything.

Extraterr....Alien things Class be havin' Kaylee speakin'. She be the cutest alien ever, aye? Creative Writin' be speakin' o' creatin' decent characters. I be thinkin' Hermione be havin' a lot t' add t' that converastion, aye? Especially after last weekend. Speakin' o' characters, Nova 'n Nadia be bringin'...little stuffed friends wit' them t' class.

...that might be a euphemism.

Movin' on! El Mariachi be havin' office hours, though he be alone. Mayhap he can be writin' a sad, sad song about that. It should talk about drinkin'. And oranges.

More things should try t' rhyme wit' oranges. Like, um, kumquat. And llamas.

*squirrelly snickers*

They be totally rhymin'. Hush. But not t' worry--no one be visitin' Sakura or Doc Venture either. Though Doc Venture be hidin', so mayhaps that be what suited him. Be ye a hooker this weekend? It were goin' around, apparently.

Deadpool be gettin' visited by Schrodinger, Conner-who-be-spellin'-his-name-wrong, 'n Yon...dom-mee. Mayhaps that could rhyme wit' orange-eee, too.

Roomin'
Aeryn 'n John be wakin' up, as ye do. And John's "Bertram" be demanding. *papers shuffle* That might be a euphemism. In possibly related news, Nova's plush turtle be able t' do backflips. I be hearin' that Bridge be chargin' extra fer makin' his, er, turtle, do that this weekend. Tori's stuffed dolphin...

*more papers shuffle*

Ye aren't even tryin' tonight, are ye? Tori's "stuffed dolphin" be "makin' noises" 'n wakin' Angela up. Thar be no notes indicatin' if that be a euphemism, either, so I be sayin' yes. Naomi's "flotter doll"--which I be thinkin' be somethin' ye could pick up at the Sin, if ye be so inclined--be wakin' her up, which be almost as worrisome as Weiss's smokin' monkey. A few weeks o' penicillin'll clear that right up, matey. Have Parker get tested, too, jes' in case. Mayhaps Pippi be needin' some as well--wenches normally be not havin' monkeys.

*squirrelly chittering* Oh, me mistake. That be an actual monkey. Not a euphemism.

Neil--who be not Doc Wilson--be makin' breakfast on third floor this mornin' before gettin' attacked by Nova's "plushie." Lucky Neil. Billy be not t' Nova's "plushie's" taste. Be not worried, Billy. Not everyone be meant t' have sex in their lives. Oh, wait. Maybe this Ami wench will help ye out!

Walter be movin'. I be not blamin' him. Pippi 'n Nadia both be offerin' t' help, which be mighty charitable. Thar be no word whether either o' them will be bringin' any manner o' euphemism--like, say, Annette's "evil pig"--wit' them.

Ander's "action figgers"--ye be havin' more than one? I be thinkin' that were only one old student's problem--be bogglin' Tori. Ye were showin' yer action figgers t' the wench? Nicely played, Anders!

Hunter be attackin' Dean's rock'em, sock'em robots. If that be the same thing as an "action figger", then that be no way t' be celebratin' a birthday (though Alec be tryin' to make it a happy one). Tannim's "mustangs" be racin', Valentine's balls be chasin' him 'n that jes' can't be comfortable, 'n Setsuna's plushies be rollin' in her underwear. Ye all be sick, sick people. Zuko's headless bear be freakin' Mel out. As it should be. *shuffling paper* Oh, it be not supposed t' be like that. And Zuko be not happy at the change o' events. Now the wench be needin' a new, non-burned comforter.

Lana be studyin', Parker 'n Jack be plottin', Jaye be watchin' her Obi-Wans fight each other, 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker be sewin' himself a lovely frock. Zero, Isabel 'n Teddy be stoppin' in t' watch.

Down at the shootin' range, Jack be tryin' to shoot wit' one eye closed. Irulan 'n Professor Harrington be joinin' him.

Seely be runnin' cheerleader practice. I be not wantin' t' know why. Buffy be puttin' people on teams. Thar be a joke about teams 'n Seely playin' fer the wrong one, but I be too mature t' make it. Tori 'n Annette are happy t' be together. And if ye be wearin' bitty skirts 'n mayhaps hittin' each other wit' pillows, well, I be happy too. Molly 'n Phoebe be deceptively cute, River be nursin' a cold 'n D'anna be wearin' her own underwear. Be this normally somethin' that is a question, wench? She also be wantin' t' throw Nadia into the air. Watch yer underwear. Lana 'n Phoebe be apologizin' t' each other--no word on their underwear--and thar be general warmin' up, oglin', 'n gratefulness fer bein' thwarted in tryin' t' take over the world.

I love this town. Anyway. Nadia be havin' pink pony issues--be that another way o' talkin' about yer time o' the month?--and Seely were chased by a horny puppet. Aren't we all, metaphorically speakin'? *more papers shuffle* Oh, it's an actual puppet. That be strange.

River be thinkin' so, too. She be havin' jes' about enough o' today 'n is hidin' wit' Blair. I be thinkin' she shouldn't be hearin' about Nadia tryin' t' dye her pink pony. So...not another term fer a woman's time. If it be what I'm thinkin', it be bold t' try t' do that in a common room. Annette 'n Pippi be helpin' 'n introducin' Billy t' someone called Wormy. Billy be gettin' laid yet! Especially since he be thinkin' pink ponies be mythical. Poor boy. But so did Anders, 'n he dated Cally fer a while. Surely she let ye see her pink pony? He be whippin' out his "action figgers" 'n stunnin' the whole room. Setsuna in particular be not happy.

Tori's "flipper" and Nadia's "pink pony" meet, and so do Tori's...pet 'n Pippi's 'n then Tori offers t' lend hers t' Billy 'n I think I be needin' t' have a nice long lie-down. In news that be much less interestin', Tori 'n Annette decide t' go t' Dean's party 'n Broots pops his head in t' say hello.

In a different common rooms, Teddy 'n Chad be cuddly. Thar be no notes whether thar be "action figgers" involved. Thar be balls on the second floor, though! It be seemin' that Valentine still be outsmarted by them.

Revelin'

All 'n Sundries be gettin' a new Squishy machine any day now, thanks t' Sparky Repairs, so stop yer twitchin', Lana be spendin' most o' her shift productively on the phone, 'n Empire Records be playin' glam rock o' the 70s, which be some o' my favorite non-shanty music.

Ami be readin' in the park 'n a reporter who be not a squirrel be thar too. Parker be talkin' t' him. Anything she might be sayin' about me lack o' journalistic integrity be completely true.

Balthier be needin' his weapons cleaned because o' the pie thing yesterday, the Doctor be needin' his dosage upped because he were playin' chess wit' a stuffed pink rhinoscerous, which be too involvin' t' notice Leo 'n his puppet. Jane be thinkin' the Doctor's behavior be insane, though Rosette be offerin' other games. I be not thinkin' it were the game that be the strange bit), 'n then Rose be stoppin' by t' see the inside o' the TARDIS.

Lucifer be serving Yuki drinks at the Devil's Nest, and over at Caritas, Leo be wonderin' what be goin' on in the lounge. It be a birthday party fer Dean--complete wit' presents 'n cake 'n a birthday boy 'n lots o' talkin' 'n ye be not invited because ye be old 'n crusty-lookin'. 'n I be spendin' enough time on pirate ships t' be an excellent judge o' crusty. In non-birthday news, Isabel be talkin' t' Jarod 'n avoidin' GOB, as all girls wit' a lick o' sense--not ye, Becky--should do.

Thar also be a frog the size o' a house. In case ye be wantin' t' know.

The clinic be quiet day 'n night, which be disappointin'. Mayhaps people will be droppin' by fer shots, wit' all the talk o' pink ponies 'n "action figgers" 'n the like.

That be all from the Crow's Nest! Tomorrow ye'll be gettin' t' vote fer yer favorite broadcasters, so until then keep yer eye out fer the Matey-Wit'-the-Hat 'n have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the influx o' new people t' the island 'n let me jes state upfront that I be hatin' ye all.

*sounds of drinking*

*for a very, very long time*

Roomin'
Jack 'n Sam-who-be-a-wench be wakin' up together this mornin'. Zuko be arrivin', as be Teddy, Dean-who-be-a-woodsman--his name be Forrester--, Schrodinger, Billy. Togusa be back from the summer 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker be headin' fer home temporarily. Take me wit' ye, Peter!

Sam-who-be-not-a-wench be havin' a bad dream 'n tellin' Dawn about it, Willow be bringin' Dr. P-whatever candles--it be her birthday--even though Janet be worried about the fire hazard. Where I be comin' from, thar be no electricity. Ye have t' be stupid or drunk or both t' burn the place down wit' a candle. Professor Calendar be back as well, Pippi be helpin' Zuko t' settle in 'n Eric be sendin' email t' his roomate.

Briar 'n JD be in thar room, Lana be in her new room, Tim be stoppin' by t' see River, 'n Pippi 'n Jim be stoppin' by t' say hello t' Chad. We be havin' someone named Chad now? Huh.

But it be not all hellos today. Veronica also be leavin'. Cally, Jaye, Lana, Callisto, Anakin, Alanna, Xander, Cameron, Bel, Angela, Parker, Tim, Phoebe, Pip, Marty, Tyler, Connernanders, Rory, Nadia, Chloe, 'n Major K! Highlights be includin' boykissy, girlkissy 'n tasers. Only in Fandom.

Archie be sayin' goodbye as well--to Cally, Parker, Molly 'n Cameron.

'n if that be not enough, thar be people in a common room, too. Marie be makin' fried chicken 'n tellin' Kaylee, Cally, 'n Conner about her terrible date wit' Jamie. Bel/a> be tryin' t' get her interested in wenches instead. That be a noble goal. Briar be offerin' t' stab Jamie, but I be thinkin' thar might be a bit o' a line fer that. Bel 'n Blair be tryin' t' figure out if they be havin' sex. D' yer bums hurt? That be a pretty good indication.

*long pause*

I be hearin'. Blair 'n Marie be wantin' a Datin' fer Dummies book, Conner be tellin' Cally about his twin--be it an actual twin or a Fandom twin? This be an important distinction--'n Z be lovin' Marie fer cookin'. Jamie be thar, too, apologizin' t' Marie, but I be thinkin' it might be takin' a mite more than that.

Up on the roof, On the roof, Nadia be helpin' Bridge 'n Xander break up with brownies. WHAT? They best be breakin' up with the sweet 'n not wit' each other or I be havin' a glittery flag fer no good reason.

Revelin'
In town, thar be newcomers, too. Laura Roslin be arrivin', as be Yondaime, Mary Poppins 'n Jesse Custer. He be meetin' Schrodinger, Mary Poppins, Aly, the Doctor, 'n Wilson (who be back 'n meetin' Jane 'n seein' Bel again). El Mariachi also be arrivin', as be someone goin' by V--not the wench, who be leavin' us *sniffles*--'n Thursday Next. I be thinkin' that be a date...

Aly be gettin' an apartment, as be Wilson 'n thar be minglin' type things. Logan-who-be-not-a-bunny be gettin' tenants fer his house.

GOB 'n Becky be out on a date! I be thinkin' the correct response here be "awww." Angela be interviewin' Daisy at the Perk.

All 'n Sundries be open. Thar be people buyin' soap 'n other things 'n I be not really givin' a damn.

No one be in the clinic, either mornin' or evenin'.

At Caritas, Lorne, El, 'n Wilson sing 'n , Lorne be doin' a dedication fer Veronica 'n Archie. Smooth winds 'n a followin' sea t' ye, Archie!

*sighs, more drinking* Ye all be talkin', too. Wilson be meetin' Greg, Rosette be meetin' the new preacher, Jesse be meetin' El, 'n Walter be meetin' John-who-be-a-Constantine

Greg be meeitn' Laura Roslin, Lorne be gettin' confused by Seely-who-be-not Angel--welcome back, Lorne!--'n Alanna be makin' the same mistake.

Greg be meetin' Seely 'n Lorne, Pippi be meetin' John-who-be-a-Constantine, 'n Seely be havin' a death wish<. Ye don't be flirtin' wit' Parker without callin' her Cha-Cha first!

Alanna 'n Faithful be talkin' to Greg 'n Isabel, 'n Greg be tellin' Isabel that he be stickin' around. Sister Rosette be missin' booze--ye can't have mine--and Phoebe were missin' Wilson. So were Alanna

Zero be tellin' Greg about the book signin', Parker be chattin' with Jarod, (as be Lorne), 'n Walter and Pippi talk about their Little Brothers.

Parker be goin' on vacation, but she be plannin' t' spar wit' Alanna first. Parker 'n Jack also be talkin' about the new students. All of whom I be hatin'. Jes makin' that clear. Zero be tellin' Parker about her new Little Sister, 'n Veronica 'n Archie be sayin' goodbye t' Lorne.

All ye damn new people

'n thar be quite the busy day as new students 'n teachers be arrivin' on the island. Be watchin' out fer gremlins 'n be ignorin' any shrub that be seemin' t' take an interest in yer conversations. 'n the cafeteria be not that bad.

Thar be a big party in front o' the doors, where old students 'n new could be mixin'. Pippi be meetin' Zuko, Skif be meetin' Cally 'n chattin' wit' Nadia 'n Naomi, Bel be waitin' fer some Luke person who be not here yet, 'n Lana be meetin' the first o' our new clone-types: Seely-who-be-not Angel. Willow be meetin' Billy, Phoebe be gettin' Schrodinger which be soundin' like a shoe t' me, 'n Dana be arrivin' as well. Peter-who-be-English be meetin' Jim, Marty be meetin' Teddy, 'n Ray 'n Greg be gettin' acquainted. Greg be havin' a mite o' a death wish, Ray, so be careful.

Marie be meetin' Eric, Alphonse be meetin' Hikaru, 'n Chad 'n Aeryn be gettin' acquainted. Bridge's little siblin' be not showin' up right away--mayhaps she be off with this Luke person--Zero be meetin' a wench wit' a terribly unfortunate last name. Nitt? Ye be havin' me sympathies. Molly be gettin' t know Wilhemina, Isabel be doin' the same wit' Barbara 'n the same wit' Alphonse 'n Hermione.

*cackles* They've been here. I jes' wanted t' see if ye were still awake. Because ye be not wantin' to miss this. Thar be two Deans now. And the new Dean be lookin' jes like old Dean's brother Sam-who-be-not-a-wench. Would ye all like some o' me rum?

*more laughter* Anyway, Dean-who-be-a-woodsman be meetin' Walter, Layla 'n Dawn. Dean-who-be-not-Alec be also meetin' Layla 'n Tyler 'n John-who-be-Dorian 'n as far as I be tellin' not turned into any manner o' animal--which can happen--be talkin'. And so be Matilda 'n John-who-be-a-menagerie at times. But not today. Jes' makin' that clear. Kaylee be meetin' yet another John--I be callin' him Skippy now--Rory be meetin' Lyra 'n Alanna 'n Faithful be thar, too.

Like I'd be givin' ye me rum.

Peter-who-be-a-Parker be meetin' Summer, Broots be meetin' Pete-who-be-new, Blair be meetin' Evie, Hamlet 'n Carmela be gettin' acquainted 'n so be Pip 'n Kaoru 'n Hikaru.

'n then they all be meetin' thar roommates. Lana be thar, but her roommate be not. Neither be Alanna's. Agnes 'n Joxer be roomin' together, as be Pete-who-be-new 'n Eric, Naomi 'n Sir Didymus, Evie 'n Layla, Billy 'n Schrodinger, 'n Dean-who-be-a-woodsman 'n Lyra.

And since it be Fandom, thar be mingling. Seely-who-be-not-Angel be meetin' Dana, Marty, Dawn, Pippi, Zero, Molly, Jaye, Rory, Nadia, Billy, 'n Isabel. Those be mostly wenches. Well done, Seely! Naomi be meetin' Jude 'n Billy, 'n Zuko be introducin' himself t' Dawn, Pippi, Jaye, Molly, 'n the twins. Pip 'n Pippi also be talkin', but I be less interested. Ray be meetin' Seely, Jaye, Dawn, Molly, Nadia, 'n Isabel. Alphonse met Matilda, Sam-who-be-a-wench talked wit' Aeryn, 'n Teddy be meetin' Cally, Ranma, Zero, 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean. Alanna 'n Faithful be meetin' Lyra 'n Summer, who also be meetin' Jaye, Billy, Alec 'n Cally. Pete-who-be new be gettin' acquainted wit' Cally 'n Billy, who also be meetin' Aeryn.

Xander be not new, but he be thar talkin' wit' Parker-who-be-a-wench 'n Bridge. Zero be not new either 'n be chattin' wit' Peter-who-be-a-Parker. Evie be new 'n be meetin' Dean-who-be-not-Alec, Cally, Hermione, 'n Jack. Wilhemina be meetin' Alphonse 'n Teddy, Dean-who-be-not-Alec 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean be chattin'. Dean-who-be not Alec also be meetin' Naomi. Billy met Cally, Alfonse 'n Nadia be talkin', as be Rory 'n Dawn. Rory then be seein' Dean-who-be-a-woodsman 'n that be not at awkward. Except fer the part where it be terribly awkward.

Alec-who-be-not-Dean, either the woodsman or otherwise, be talkin' wit' Jaye, Cally, Evie, Billy, 'n Dean-who-be-a-woodsma. Thar were Shawn talkin' wit' Blair, Sam-who-be-not-a-wench 'n his double ('n then his brother), Jack 'n Jaye, Blair 'n Billy, Jaye 'n Carmela (who also be talkin' wit' Matilda), 'n Stark 'n Aeryn.

*sounds of heavy drinkin'* Ye be killin' me. *deep breath*

Chad be meetin' Teddy, Pip, Ranma 'n the twins. Peter-who-be-English be sayin' hello t' S-wench, as be Ranma 'n the twins. Jaye 'n Nadia be talkin', as be Jaye 'n Dean-who-be-not-Alec. Lana be meetin' Matilda, the twins, Jim, 'n Billy. Jim be meetin' Cally, Dean-who-be-not-Alec, 'n Blair. The twins be meetin' Matilda, Ranma 'n Billy 'n I be wantin' those nasty Gentlemen t' come back 'n shut ye all up. Walter be talkin' t' Nadia, Schrodinger 'n Billy.

That be all from the Crow's Nest, where I be Barbossa, good, drunk 'n hatin' ye all.

[OOC: Seriously, hating you all. Much, much love to the radio research crew for insane link fu.]

*sounds of Certain People singing on the beach last night*

Bomp babbaloobomp a whomp bam boom! Oh, this be on. This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the news from what be possibly the Greatest Weekend Ever that be humiliatin' people who be not me.

Be ye curious? Turn up the volume. The pirate be tellin' all, me hearties.

Camp Ohgodiwannadie

In Squirrel this mornin', Pippi--who be not answerin' t' Jan anymore--be babblin' at Pip about yesterday, then she 'n Seras be fantasizin' about brunch at Cafe Fina. That probably be a euphemism. Out in public 'n everything! I be so proud o' ye, wenches.

The basketball team be practicin' 'n commisseratin' about yesterday. Which were the Best Day Ever because it be not happenin' t' me. Peter-who-be-not-Doody 'n Cameron be talkin' about the radio broadcast last night. Which be remindin' me--John, thar be a bottle o' rum wit' yer name on it here at the studio. Peter-who-be-not-Doody be apologizin' t' Isabel fer askin' her out 'n callin' her doll yesterday. What be wrong wit' callin' a wench doll? Tyler be gettin' valuable advice from Coach Bluth: more cheerleaders be better 'n Cameron be switchin' teams. *papers rustle* I be told that might not be dirty, but I be not believin' that.

In th' Autonomous Collective o' Shirtless Seahorses, Jaye 'n Cedric be talkin' about Quiddich. It be soundin' dirty. *papers shuffle* Apparently Jaye be thinkin' so to. It be not. I be disappointed, honestly. Sam-who-be-not Sandy also be not so terribly stealthy. Jaye be convincin' her t' be gettin' shirtless 'n thinkin' about gettin' some bodyguards. Jaye be quite talented. Cedric be thar t' tease Sam about yesterday as well. Sam? As far as I be concerned? Ye can cook any time ye'd like. Dean-who-be-not-Alec-or-Kenickie be not that mad at ye, either, so ye can come out o' yer room soon, I be sure. Wearin' those pants from yesterday, if ye be wantin' my preference.

*pause*

Which ye probably didn't. We be movin' on.

Cedric also be healin' up nicely from the not-nearly-as-fun shenanigans o' last weekend--Jack be happy about that and jes' as happy t' celebrate Shirtless Day, though he do be wishin' that there could be stereo shirtlessness wit' Dean-who-be-not-Alec-or Kenickie 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean. One shirtless clone be enough t' make Jaye happy, though.

At the Meerkat campfire, Peter-who-be-a-Parker also now be a blond. It be a much better job than his hair from yesterday, if ye be wonderin'. In other yesterday-related news, Tyler be very glad that River were not around t' witness his fashion choices yesterday 'n a mite confused about the pages o' equations he wrote up. Be ye plannin' to tell her about gettin' a wedgie from Peter-who-be-not-an-actual-griffon? Because that be a highlight t' me. He 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker be plottin' t' retrieve the film commemoratin' the events o' yesterday.

*hearty laughter*

Good luck wit' that.

Isabel be catchin' Aeryn-who-be-a-princess-later up wit' the events o' yesterday. Be ye mentionin' the rickshaw races? 'n the moonin'? Aeryn be a mite mesmorized by Peter-who-be-a-Parker's blond hair.

Parker-who-be-a-right-slutty-wench-yesterday be wantin' to kill everythin' this mornin'. I be havin' photographs o' her grabbin' Anakin's ass yesterday...*more laughter* He be lookin' like a pretty decent kisser fer a eunuch.

*pause* Not that I be thinkin' about that. AT ALL. 'n these be not doctored photographs, Parker-who-be-right-slutty-wench-yesterday. So yer plottin' be comin' t' naught.

Alanna be slightly more interested in hearin' about what she did at Caritas on Friday night than what Parker-who-be-a-right-slutty-wench-yesterday be doin' yesterday.

Rory-who-be-not-Frenchy also be a blonde this morning--she be not as pleased about it as Peter-who-be-a-Parker be 'n gettin' Isabel t' change it back. She 'n Parker also be comin' t' an accord not t' discuss at all what be happenin' yesterday. Which part? The part where Rory be callin' Parker-who-be-right-slutty-wench-yesterday a skank or when Parker be callin' her flat-chested?

Anyway, at least Callisto be gettin' some sleep.

Back in the dorms, where walls be not thick enough t' hide from humiliation.

In the fourth floor common room, Dean-who-be-not-Alec-nor-Kenickie be makin' breakfast. It best be good, Dean--Dawn be thar 'n able t' swing a mean fryin' pan. I be havin' pictures o' that, by the way, if anyone be so inclined. She seems t' have forgiven him, though, fer thar be canoodlin' 'n a date tonight 'n as far as I knowin', no manner o' violence. Brother Sam be slightly harder t' convince, though. Hopefully thar be no try o' canoodlin'. Because that be wrong. Ivanova 'n Maia be thar, too and if ye thinkin' that be not the most awkward conversation in the history o' ever, I be wantin' t' know yer nomination. Joxer be havin' turnip stew, which might be his last meal, but more on that a bit later. Wait, we be havin' more "Joxer be a stupid bastard" news. He 'n Kaylee be havin' a tiff about him 'n Cally.

*pause*

Ye be in no way smart enough t' keep two wenches, Joxer. Be pickin' one.

On the second floor, Molly 'n Cameron be makin' brownies 'n Cally 'n Cameron be talkin' baked goods, relationships 'n self-defense. In Fandom, I can be seein' the link. Cally then be in the gym sparrin' wit' Walter. *papers rustle* I be not thinkin' that be a euphemism.

Parker 'n Lana be introspective today, thar be a random sheet wit' Ranma in the fourth floor common room 'n *gales of laughter* Aeryn be gettin' bit by a gremlin 'n thinkin' she be a printheth! Princess, I be meanin'. Lispin' be contagious. Her newly decided royalty 'n declaration o' bein' married be comin' as a nasty shock t' John. Ranma be tryin' t' rescue her as she be requestin' but be at a loss as t' how t' do it. Aeryn be torn between thinkin' Rory be a maid or a lesbian thar t' rescue her. Mayhaps Rory could be a lesbian dressed as a maid? Jes' throwin' ideas out thar. Aeryn also be thinkin' that Hamlet be her new butler.

The Tick be at a loss as t' the behavior but be warnin' Aeryn against lava monsters before askin' Rory t' help out wit' the Festivus celebration on Friday 'n Lecturin' Joxer fer bein' a damn stupid bastard.

Turn up the radio. This be important when ye be wonderin' where Joxer be disappearin' to. He be tryin' t' feel up Aeryn Sun. She be slappin' the hell out of him while she be thinkin' she be someone else. I be thinkin' she be killin' him wit' a fryin' pan 'n hidin' the body tomorrow, and I be not blamin' her a bit.

Bridge 'n Aeryn be decidin' that they be not compatible post-rescue 'n so be scrappin' the entire thing, and Anakin be finally rescuin' the printheth then be turnin' tail 'n runnin' when she be askin' to make out. Be ye seein' the footage from yesterday, Aeryn? He be havin' quite a talent fer it! Who knew?

After his encounter wit' Her Royal Highness in the lobby, Tim be thinkin' Aeryn be mean. Let me be the first t' break it to ye, Tim. Aeryn won't care. She be a mite busy bein' supercranky about it t' worry about yer delicate feelings. Because the Printheth's reign be not completed. Thar still be Caritas. We get thar in a minute.

Jude be tellin' S-wench about the weird dream he be havin' yesterday. It be no dream 'n I be havin' the photos t' prove it.

*cackling*

Oh, this weekend be the best thing ever.

*something that sounds a bit like the two parts of "Summer Dreams" spliced together with banthabell. It's...unique.*

In town, where the streets were alive wit' the sound o' caterwaulin' yesterday.

GOB be back from what I be sure be a fascinatin' adventure, Jude be skateboardin' in the park 'n talkin' with Ranma, possibly even at the same time, Clark be at Cafe Fina fer brunch 'n Tim be all alone in Luke's.

Elliot in the mornin' 'n Janet in the evenin' be findin' the clinic as quiet as Luke's.

Ye know where it be not quiet, though? Caritas! Where Aeryn be singin' "Ever the Same." Out loud. In public.

*"Ever the Same" plays. Three times.*

John be tellin' GOB about Aeryn bein' married. GOB be tellin' him t' go to the Sin, then be gettin' a drink thrown at him by Aeryn. Surprisingly, these two events be not related. John be not particularly thrilled t' see Aeryn--who be not particularly polite t' Parker-who-be-a-wench--but he be more than happy t' leave when the venom be wearin' off.

In non-Aeryn news, Parker be not tellin' Cally that she be spendin' most o' yesterday wit' her tongue in Anakin Skywalker-who-be-a-eunuch-'n-possibly-a-duck's mouth. Parker be talkin' Fandom weirdness wit' Isabel 'n promisin' t' tip GOB well if he be not askin' why she be needin' t' drink. Please rewind yer tapes to be reminded o' why Parker be needin' t' drink.

And no, that be never gettin' old.

Peter-who-be-a-Parker be inteviewin' Doctor Cox, GOB be tellin' Isabel about his adventures on th' high seas--did ye run into Davy Jones, by any chance?--'n offerin' Alanna a job as a ventriloquist. Parker-who-shouldn't-be-offerin'-anyone-an-opinion-on-lifestyle-choices be questionin' Alanna's drinkin'. Speakin' o' lifestyle choices, Greg's hairgel be important enough t' him that he be bringin' it up in two separate conversations.

Thar also be a whole bunch o' people on the beach. As far as I can be tellin', Angela, Marty, Bridge, Xander, Callisto, 'n Z be not singin' down on the beach tonight. That be a shame.

That be all from the Crow's Nest! Keep an eye out fer wenches wit' fryin' pans--Joxer, ye be warned--and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the latest 'n greatest, the good, the bad, 'n the "I can't believe ye just said that, Cally," o' Fandom tonight.

On wit' the show.

Roomin'

In the third floor common room, the Winchester boys be cookin' breakfast 'n bickerin' over possessed toasters, as ye do, I suppose. Speakin' o' toasters, has anyone seen Talky around recently? Dawn be makin' what me notes be callin' "weird" sandwiches--be ye puttin' sardines wit' peanut butter? I be told that be a bit o' an acquired taste--'n talkin' about ghosts and boy bands wit' Dean-who-be-not-Alec. If ye be bringin' us a hauntin' o' early nineties bands singin' "Please Don't Go, Girl," I be blamin' ye, wench. Jaye be convincin' Dean-who-be-not-Alec t' play volleyball. Since it be Jaye, I be guessin' thar be either shirtlessness or boykissy involved. Speakin' o' of those, Buffy be givin' Jaye a long overdue poster o' some kind. Anyone else be gettin' a cold chill up their necks?

Dean-who-be-not-Alec be okay wit' volleyball but be drawin' the line at cheerleadin'. I be guessin' that we be okay wit' jes' one person wit' that face wearin' tiny shorts 'n jumpin' around. 'n speakin' o' the devil, Alec-who-be-not-Dean be tellin' Dean-who-be-not-Alec about the slumber party last night. Dean-who-be-not Alec be tellin' Alec-who-be-not-Dean that the next time, they'd be goin' demon huntin' instead. Alec-who-be-not-Dean be talkin' wit' Dawn about genetic gifts. I be hatin' when I get a genetic gift. I be sayin' put some thought into it, or don't be gettin' me anythin' at all.

Dawn be tellin' Buffy (who be cute wit' Sam-who-be-not-a-wench) about bein' haunted yesterday. Peter-who-be-a-Parker-but-not-a-wench's arm be healed--or so be tellin' Dawn. Buffy 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean be talkin' about the two dangerous wenches Alec-who-be-not-Dean be wakin' up between.

*dead air*

Sorry. I be in me happy place fer a moment.

*papers rustle* Me notes be sayin' that Miss Talks-t'-her-purse 'n King Dork be comin' up wit' theme songs fer each other. I be not knowin' what that means. Sam-who-be-not-a-wench might be gettin' a call from Johnina. *snickers* He be a lucky, lucky man.

Peter-who-be-a-Parker-but-not-a-wench be talkin' t' Dean about dessert-based monsters. Speakin' o' things that should never be talked about again Peter-who-be-a-Griffon-but-not-literally be tellin' Dawn about makin' pancakes on a grill. Tim be thar gettin' breakfast 'n his memory refreshed.

Tempe be missin' Sawyer, Joxer be gettin' turned around 'n walkin' into the wrong room. Mayhaps someone should staple a compass t' his head. Sam-who-be-wench be stoppin' by t' see Aeryn, who also be admirin' some mighty fine photos o' Johnina from last night. Don't be askin' where I be hearin' it, but thar be a reliable bathroom stall 'round here that be sayin' that Johnina be puttin' out fer a couple o' glasses o' peach schnapps, too.

In the fifth floor common room, Pip 'n Pippi---pipipipipi...I be not able t' stop--be talkin' soccer, ghosts 'n being sick.

Willow be stoppin' in t' make sure Peter-who-be-not-a-Parker be okay from the demon attack from last night, Veronica be tellin' Anakin about the demons, too, and Pippi be wakin' up Alphonse. I be assumin' that be wakin' Alphonse up from sleepin' 'n not wakin' up as Alphonse, but given Nadia 'n Walter's conversation 'bout gender-bendin', I be not entirely positive. S-wench be singin' in her room 'n Cedric be talkin' t' Jack's plant.

*papers shuffle* That might be a euphemism.

Remember that thing I be sayin' about hopin' that the next epidemic be comin' will be stoppin' ye all from talkin'? *grumbles* I still be hopin' fer that.

Because everyone in the world who be not at Caritas--and I be gettin' t' that--be up on the fourth floor common room.

*big breath*

Cedric 'n Isabel be talkin' about the slumber party, Anders be demonstratin' jazz hands, but he be not DEATH, far as I be knowin', Greg be an avenger fer crashed slumber parties. Not that he be thar last night, o' course--he were writin' emo poetry 'n be havin' no idea who Gregette might be.


Isabel be tellin' Molly about the party celebratin' the upstart colonial types 'n offerin' S-wench help wit' her stains. S-wench be tradin' Anders rice fer a cupcake--good deal--and be talkin' ghosts wit' Bridge. Bridge jes be happy not t' smell like demon goo--and so be the rest o' us, fer that matter. Isabel be remindin' him about the party, he 'n Greg be talkin' about Jello 'n Isabel also be remindin' Xander about the party. She be tellin' Bridge. Be she ever be seein' a Bridge without a Xander?

*another deep breath*

Xander be talkin' about flyin' sheep wit' S-wench, then be talkin' wit' Bridge about what a group o' tentacles should be called. If it be somethin' dirty, leave it on me voicemail, okay? Speakin' o' dirty, Anders be hopin' that Bridge be not avoidin' their room because he be loud. I be thinkin' that be a mite more about Anders sex life than I be comfortable knowin'. Speakin' o' too much information about Anders' sex life, Bridge be impressed by Conner's enthusiasm. S-wench be meetin' Conner, then Conner 'n Xander be makin' dirty chips that I be not wantin' to know about.

*pause*

At all. Peter-who-be-not-a-Parker 'n Cedric be talkin' about people wit' mulitiple personalities, as ye do, Isabel be concerned about Peter-who-be-not-a-Parker's bruises 'n S-wench be not all that excited t' hear about tentacle monsters. Be ye already havin' one? Mayhaps picturin' Bridge 'n Peter-who-be-not-a-Parker covered in Jello be somethin' that would distract ye.

Molly be comfortin' Peter about England's loss. Beckham can be takin' his balls 'n be bendin' 'em, far as I be concerned. Willow be talkin' wit' Cedric about spells ('n promisin' Bridge t' reattach any limbs that might be comin' off) 'n givin' Peter-who-be-not-Parker bags o' herbs. If they be smokable 'n fer sharin', I be very put out, wench. She also be talkin' t' Xander about ghosts 'n learnin' that Joxer's ass be hurtin'.

*loooooong pause*

I be sure we all be very glad t' know that. I guess. Anders be hopin' thar be no such thing as evil eggs. Anakin Skywalker be hatched from an egg. Be he evil? Maybe someone should check. S-wench be tellin' Willow 'bout her sword...*papers shuffle* That might be a euphemism. Joxer be talkin' wit' Peter-who-be-not-a-Parker 'bout demon huntin', then about Japanese porn wit' S-wench. Ye be a silver-tongued devil, Joxer, 'n that be no mistake.

Peter-who-be-a-Parker-but-not-a-wench be meetin' S-wench, tellin' Bridge about his weekend, then be told that he be lookin' like a wench Molly be meetin' yesterday. Isabel jes' be generally amused.

Bel be talkin' t' Willow about stubborn men, 'n t' Isabel 'n S-wench about Jello. If ye be combinin' the two, I be thinkin' ye have an event that Jaye could fully support. He be a mite dubious 'bout acceptin' Conner's chips, as ye should be, 'n be talkin' t' Tyler about the usefulness o' fire. Tyler be talkin' about the thought process o' wenches wit' Peter-who-be-not-a-Parker 'n remeetin' S-wench. Herm...somethin' be showin' off her cat--possibly a euphemism--t' Tyler, be meetin' S-wench 'n catchin' up wit' Peter-who-be-a-Parker-but-not-a-wench.

Revelin'

Lucas *lots of snickering* be a wench.

*sounds of Dude (Looks Like a Lady) with Badly Dubbed Banthabell*

He--or be it she?--be goin' t' brunch at Wonka's wit' Tim, who also be at the park wit' S-wench who be tellin' him all about the extensive 'n time-consumin' work that the radio staff be puttin' into thar broadcasts. Even if they be drunk sometimes. *papers rustle* I be havin' no idea why a shrub bein' thar would be newsworthy.

Seras be recoverin' at the clinic this mornin' 'n Stark be by his lonesome--except fer Alanna 'n Faithful, o' course--in the evenin'.

*heavy sigh* And then thar be Caritas.

Lucas-who-be-a-wench be singin'. Twice. Archie 'n Veronica be singin', too, 'n Nadia 'n Tim 'n Cally.

Thar be more than jes' singin' o' course, because ye can't just sit in the dark 'n do nothin' can ye? Noooooo....

Veronica be helpin' Lucas-who-be-a-wench come up wit' ideas t' increase business at Empire Records 'n helpin' Tim remember himself. *snickers* Ye be really named Lola. Ye be a showgirl. Ye had t' leave Cuba under some very suspicious-type circumstances. Archie be thar, as usual, Piper be thar fer a drink 'n Walter 'n Nadia be thar t' check up on Veronica.

Cally be wonderin' if she can sleep wit' Nadia again tonight, but Walter be very firm about the 'no sex wit' his wench' thing. So Cally be gettin' drunk. As ye do, I suppose. She be talkin' t' Al, makin' him flustered, then gettin' him a blow job. Be Becky knowin' ye be cuttin' into her business, wench? Bad move, methinks.

Anyway, Archie 'n Al be meetin' 'n Al 'n Veronica be talkin' about hauntin' 'n I be tired o' the lot o' ye.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer Matey-with-the-Hat or freelancers tryin' t' buy ye blow jobs, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the good, the bad 'n the ugly--not ye, Quark--of this Sunday in Fandom.

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic

It be summer. If ye really be thinkin' thar be any manner o' studyin' goin' on, ye be needin' rum more than I do.

Well, other than Isabel, who be readin' outside. But she be discoverin' that Jack be a fox now. As ye do. Parker be noticin' the change as well. Apparently it be happenin' because Jack be hittin' on a woman in the park. Ye be warned. Bel be wantin' t'be included the next time thar be a fight wit' mummies--I be not sure why--but he also be tellin' Parker jes' in case she be in charge o' that sort o' thing, I guess.

Mayhaps cheerleadin' counts as studyin'? I be wantin' a closer look at the skirts, meself. They be practicin' cheers, as makes sense, but they also be doin' a lot o' talkin'. Bel be talkin' t' Lana 'n Marie, Willow be talkin' t' Marie, Kaylee, Cameron 'n Bel. Oh! I be havin' a cheer fer ye! Be repeatin':

Zombies, mummies 'n creatures, o my!
Go Gremlins, Go Gremlins, mayhaps we won't die!

Personally, I be thinkin' if the skirts be short enough, it be not matterin' what ye be sayin'. Anyway, Tyler 'n River also be thar talkin' about basketball, which be the sport the cheerleaders be cheerin' for, apparently.

Roomin'

In the third floor common room this mornin', Walter be cookin' om...egg things 'n watchin' a special on Da Vinci. I be knowin' him! He be makin' a lovely picture o' a smilin' lady I be appropriatin' fer art class last semester. Anyway, Pippi 'n Walter be talkin' about things that go in eggs -- did ye know that Jedi be hatched from eggs? It be true. Anakin be tellin' me that a few months ago -- 'n Alfred's return. Conner be meetin' Pip-who-used-t'be-a-goose, Walter 'n the cutest little hellpuppy ever. I be not believin' I be sayin' that. Conner also be meetin' Pippi 'n talkin' about soccer. I be supposin' I should be carin' about the World Cup now, but it be seemin' like a lot of effort. Pip-who-used-t'be-a-goose be not a goose any more, more's the pity. Nadia 'n Pippi be fillin' Pip-who-used-t'be-a-goose in on detention yesterday. Since Miho--hello, Miho!--be runnin' it, I be sure a lovely time be had by all. Tempe be thar too, meetin' Pup, Pippi, 'n Stark. Nadia be tired 'n talkin' wit' Walter, then be discussin' what job a mascot be havin'. If it be involvin' dressin' like a gremlin? I be lookin' out fer Zero when she be comin' back. Seras be thar fer egg things, 'n be talkin' soccer wit' Pippi and possible illness wit' Nadia. Stark be thar fer the free food, too--he be hearin' about ghost stories 'n detention as a bonus, really.

Aeryn be in the gym. In other equally shockin' news, the sun be comin' up. John be thar 'n S-wench-wit'-the-long-name. Walter 'n Seras also be thar sparrin'. *rustles papers* I be thinkin' that be not a euphemism.

Jack--before he be a fox--be checkin' in on Cedric, Sam-who-be-a-wench, Isabel and Parker. Rory be stoppin' by Parker's as well fer a bit o' a heated discussion. But now thar be no puddin'. I be sure ye all be as disappointed as I be.

Isabel 'n Greg apparently be officially a thing now--I be sure thar be a card fer that or somethin'--as be Cameron 'n Molly. In related news, Ranma be afraid o' kitties. Okay, that be not at all related, but I be findin' it amusin' all the same. Speakin' o' kitties, Tempe be missin' the ones she be pickin' up from the kitty plague.

Sam-who-be-a-wench be visited by Jack-who-be-a-fox, Veronica 'n Archie be havin' dinner, 'n Piper be cookin' somethin' up, too. Oh, and Joxer be in the wrong room. It be happenin' t' the best of us, matey.

As seems t' be the trend on Sundays, everyone be makin' linkdrops writin' home. Principal o' Vice Pierce be writin' his father, Conner be sendin' email, 'n so be Peter Parker 'n Parker Parker. Hermione be gettin' mail brought by a tiny owl. As ye do, I suppose. Oh, and Clark be contemplatin' his time here in Fandom. Aye, occasionally we can read yer thoughts, too. Most o' the time we just be choosin' not to. They be not that interestin', honestly.

On the third floor they be watchin' swashbucklin' movies. I do be lovin' t' swash me buckle. Or be that too personal t' share? Thar be Robin Hood, 'n Nature Trail t' Hell--which I thought be leadin' t' Stickbug Cabin, or be I wrong?--'n another Robin Hood 'n Bel Who Be A Witch Project--I thought he were datin' a witch?--'n another Robin Hood. I be thinkin' ye need t' expand yer collection, matey.

Conner, Xander, Bridge 'n Parker be watchin' soccer in the second floor common room. I be hearin' somethin' about ferrets 'n forest sex, but I really be not wantin' t' know.

Okay, I be wantin' t' know. I'll be askin' the squirrels about it tomorrow.

On the fifth floor, Blair be tryin' t' convince Nadia that she be havin' the plague. If she do, I be havin' a flag she could hang from her window t' let everyone else know. Blair also be tellin' Dean t' try t' wake Buffy up wit' a kiss. Around here, that might turn her into a frog--it could be embarrassin'. Dean be tellin' Nadia he be beat up by his mummy, then be tellin' Tyler thar be worse things than zombies. Fer instance, substitute history teachers. Dawn be checkin' up on Dean, Tyler be meetin' Blair 'n tellin' Nadia she be lookin' awful. This be a hint--even if it be true, ye never tell a wench she be lookin' bad. Walter be checkin' on Nadia--not mention' that she be lookin' awful, by the way--then be meetin' Tyler 'n Dawn. Dawn be checkin' in on Tyler, too, and then be talkin' wit' a giddy Molly--she be datin' Cameron now, 'n thar be a sign about it 'n everything. Molly also be talkin' wit' Blair. I be sure that be not at all awkward. Nadia be meetin' Sam-who-be-not-a-wench and Xander-who-be-not-graduated.

Piper 'n Phoebe, then Bel 'n Piper be up on the roof together. I be assumin' they be broodin' or something, since that be what ye do on the roof. Ooh, Callisto also be thar wit' Bel. If someone be gettin' tossed off, I be wantin' video footage o' it, okay?

Apparently, it be official. Nadia be sick. No word if it be plague or not.

Revelin'

The troopers be havin' brunch at Jeff, God o' Biscuits. I be enjoyin' thar pie, meself. The bakery's. Not the troopers. I be never tryin' the troopers pie. And that be not a euphemism, ye sick-type people.

Lucas be sendin' Nadia home early from the music store, Willow 'n Marie be havin' dinner together at Luke's, where Callynanders also be, um, talkin' about Anders' problems wit' gas. I be thinkin' these notes be a tad too detailed tonight.

Parker be at the Sin gettin' somethin' o' Jarod's from Miho. Hello, Miho!

Aeryn 'n Anakin be in Caritas. In totally not related news, GOB be havin' a problem havin' drinks dropped on him. Mayhaps it be the zombies. Give 'im a sax, see if it be stoppin', that be me advice.

In the clinic, Peter Parker 'n Sam-who-be-a-wench be stoppin' by in the mornin', 'n Stark be thar in the evenin'.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer Matey-wit'-the-Hat, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the good, the bad, and 'n the terribly uncoordinated on this fine night in Fandom. And aye, Johnina, I be lookin' at ye. And ye, too, Greggette. Let's start wit' that.

Bouncin' happy cheerleader-types

Buffy be holdin' cheerleadin' tryouts today. Wenches in short skirts. I be praisin' yer initiative. Molly, Marie, Janet, Phoebe, Lana, 'n Alec--who be not a wench, as far as I be aware--be thar t' judge th' proceedings. They be goin' about as well as could be expected. Jamie 'n his merry band o' other Jamies be tryin' out. D'anna be thar, and Pippi, and Nadia, who be sportin' an interestin' accent, as well as a mallet. Well, the mascot do be the gremlins. I be supposin' a mallet be appropriate. Walter also be tryin' out, as well as Isabel 'n Cordelia 'n Demyx 'n Elizabeth 'n *snicker* Hamlet. And two very lovely wenches named Johnina 'n Greggette be thar as well, but it be seemin' that they be terribly shy when it comes t' undressin' in front o' crowds o' people 'n ran away. That be such a shame. Pippi, Aeryn, Parker, Elizabeth, D'anna, Tyler, Cameron, and Isabel be thar t' mock. As ye should.

Happy camper-types

Over at Seahorse, where the men be shirtless 'n the wenches be grateful, Jaye 'n Sam-who-be-a-wench be talkin' about Jaye's toaster's love life. As ye do. Elizabeth be stoppin' by as well, and chattin' about books 'n poker. Poker be soundin' more summer-like if ye ask me. Which I be realizin' no one has. Tempe be talkin' t' Sam-who-be-a-wench about adjustin' t' life in Fandom. Has anyone told ye about the Sock-eatin' Monster on the third floor? Because it be totally real. Jaye be gettin' grief from Dean-who-be-not-Alec fer her late night activities wit' Alec-who-be-not-Dean. And Sam-who-be-wench be talkin' wit' Dean-who-be-not-Alec about doppelgangers. *shuffles papers* Which be, I think, somethin' ye can pick up at Jeff, God o' Biscuits. Or mayhaps ye need a shot fer it.

And then Jack be stoppin' by t' pick Sam-who-be-a-wench up fer their date in the park.

Meanwhile, inside Seahorse, Sam-who-be-not-a-wench 'n Dean-who-be-not-Alec be plottin' thar dastardly revenge against Jaye 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean. And that revenge? Be sweet indeed. Sorry about yer pants, Alec.

At Meerkat, where the wenches be schemin' 'n we love 'em that way, Molly 'n Cam be talkin' about flight simulators, Dawn be writin' letters home, and Greg be askin' Isabel out. Another star-crossed love between Stickbug 'n Meerkat! Someone should write a ballad.

At Squirrel, where they all be nuts--*pause*--I be apologizin' fer that pun--Pippi be wakin' up, Walter 'n Nadia be talkin' strangely, 'n Pip be hearin' about cheerleadin' tryouts from Pippi. Nadia be makin' some lovely drawings and Seras be writin' home.

Writin' seems t' have been a trend today. Parker, over in Pangolin, be pennin' some points t' people as well. Elizabeth be thar, too, recoverin' from pullin' somethin' at cheer tryouts. This be why exercise be evil. Z be thar, celebratin' her birthday. Happy birthday, Z!

*sounds of Happy Birthday with poorly dubbed banthabell*

And in Flamingo, where the graduates be livin' so I be not stupid enough t' mock them, Veronica 'n Anakin be talkin' about field trips 'n post-graduation-type things.

Tonight over at Aye Aye, where ye be not havin' t' say everythin' twice twice, Tempe be covered in glitter. In case ye be wonderin', no, thar be no boykissy involved. Or girlkissy. Sorry, Jaye. She be cuddlin' Sawyer, who then also be covered in glitter. That be how disease can be spread, too, so be sure to practice safe scrapbookin'. *snickering* Tim be thar, chattin' wit' Tempe and Sawyer, and Anakin be thar wonderin' if thar be a glitter monster. Aye, Anakin, it be a glitter monster. Ye can only kill it wit' a banthabell rendition o' "Little Bunny Foo Foo." Go forth 'n conquer. Bridge be thar, talkin' wit' Anakin, Tim, 'n --I know this be a shock t' ye--Xander. Sawyer 'n Tempe be retirin' t' his bunk after the campfire be over. Remember what I be sayin' about safe scrapbookin'.

In Stickbug, where all o' them be frankly out o' their minds, but in a good way, Peter-who-be-a-Parker be writin' an email, and John be tryin' t' convince Aeryn that he was in no way at the cheerleadin' tryouts. See? Out o' their minds. And kind o' suicidal, frankly.

At Three-Toed Sloth, where the rumor be havin' it that the occupants also be havin' only three toes, Bel be lightin' Marie's fire. *papers shuffle* I be havin' nothin' t' tell me if that be a euphemism. Marie 'n Kaylee be talkin' cheerleadin', Hermione 'n Marie be talkin' about books, Kaylee 'n Hermione be talkin' about other planets, Hermione be explainin' motorcycles t' Briar, 'n Briar be meetin' Marie 'n Kaylee.

Over at Puffin, where the campers be...*sigh* I be havin' nothin on Puffins. Anyway, Tim be thar on the roof, shinin' his flashlight on Alphonse. *papers shuffle* That might be a euphemism. He also be doin' it t' Sakurazaki before Sakurazaki talks wit' Ranma. Alphonse 'n Pippi be havin' an adventure earlier today lookin' fer mines. And they were in no way followed. In case anyone had been wonderin'. And now thar be another Puffin on the roof. What be wrong wit' the ground, I be askin'?

And crazy people be livin' in Snake. Exhibit A: Briar, who be talkin' t' himself.

Happy townies who be not livin' in the woods, thank ye kindly

Cam be up t' take pictures o' the sunrise. What be wrong wit' ye? If the Almighty be wantin' us t' see the sunrise, He'd've scheduled it fer a more convenient time.

Tim be openin' Luke's fer Sunday Brunch. Tim 'n Pippi talk cheerleadin' 'n Nadia 'n Walter talk wit' silly accents.

Clark be joggin' in the park, and Max 'n Tyler be havin' a date at the Perk before Max be takin' Tyler fer a ride on her motorcycle. *papers shuffle* That might be a euphemism, too. Speakin' o' euphemisms, Bridge 'n Xander be on a date. *pause* Okay, that be not speakin' o' euphemisms at all. Nadia 'n Walter be cute in the woods.

Empire Records be playin' Rob Thomas, but no one be runnin' in fear from it 'n hurtin' themselves because the clinic be empty in the mornin' 'n evenin'.

That be all from the Crow's Nest! Keep an eye out fer Matey-wit'-the-Hat 'n have a good night!

This be likeguidelines, bringin' ye the latest, the greatest 'n the chocolate eggs fallin' from the sky.

Aye, ye be not imaginin' those today.

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic
It be Sunday, but that be not meanin' that schoolin'-type things be not occurrin'. Except fer that it normally does.

Today, though, Pip be workin' on his Tactics o' War exam, fer one. Pointy end be goin' into someone else. That be a tip I be givin' t' ye all fer free.

And the cafeteria be the location o' choice fer an Easter dinner. Pippi 'n Ivanova be joinin' Professor Cregg there.

Roomin'
Syd 'n John Connor be snugglin' and Peter be sad that Zero be missin' his birthday yesterday. Be cheerin' up! I be playin' ye a song.

*sounds of Happy Birthday with badly dubbed banthabell accompaniment*

Oh, Zero be cheerin' ye up on her own. Oh well. Thar be nine thousand birthdays in the next few days anyway. The song be needin' t' be played.

Archie be checkin' in on Veronica, who be havin' a rather long couple o' days, apparently, Walter 'n Alphonse be chattin' in their room before Walter 'n Nadia be eatin' brownies on the roof, and Bel be takin' Phoebe home. T' her home planet? That be a question I be never even thinkin' of until I be comin' here.

Victor be sad. Still. This sound ye be hearin'? That be the world's tiniest violin. I be borrowin' it from a weetiny bunny.

*sounds of muttering*

He be wantin' t' play a song fer ye.

*sounds of weetiny violin version of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"*

Very nice. Movin' on. Angela be not a doll. O' course not. She be a wench. Piper, who also be a wench, be in a reflective-type mood today. She be thinkin'. She be not shiny or anythin'.

Cam be workin' out in the gym before formin' an army made o' chocolate. Molly be wantin' t' give peace a chance. Methinks that time wit' Blair be rubbin' off. Cam be explainin' Easter 't Anders--Jesus be raisin' from the dead, chocolate all around, don't ask about the bunnies--Aeryn, ye should've listened t' me--and Callynanders be cute. I be knowin' this be quite the shock t' ye. Cam be explainin' his chocolate war t' Isabel, then be exchangin' stories wit' Angela about how good it be t' be back t' normal. If ye be makin' a chocolate army, I be not sure how much o' a claim ye be havin' on normal.

A group o' intrepid heroes be defeatin' the Molemen 'n be savin' the day. Huzzah! Drinks all around! Or maybe we should be waitin' until Macbeth be awake t' join us.

Revelin'
Professor Harrington be doin' some thinkin' on this fine spring day, Camulus 'n Orlin be...doin' somethin' together today at their apartment. Thar be chocolate smudged on me notes. It could be from the bells that be droppin' chocolate all over town. I be not understandin' it, but I be havin' quite the sugar high.

Not as bad as Professor Logan's, though. I be not hallucinatin' or anything. Professor Logan be runnin' past Empire Records, too. Jes' say no t' mainlinin' Twinkies, me friends. Stick t' rum.

Jake, Xander, Molly, Blair, Jaye, D'anna, Kycek, Callisto, Isabel, Chloe 'n Rory be settin' sail fer the Isle o' Ikea. They be bringin' back strangely named furniture. I be havin' nothin' t' confirm or deny the presence o' Swedish meatballs. *shuffles papers* That might be a euphemism.

GOB be gettin' a package today. That package? Be a bunny suit. That he be wearin' at brunch. It be a matey who be terribly comfortable wit' himself t' be wearin' that shade o' pink in public, me friends. In other brunch-type news, Wonka be chattin' up the Troopers again.

GOB-who-be-dressed-like-a-bunny, but who be not Logan-who-used-t'-be-a-bunny, be throwing candy at Orlin. Or to Orlin. I be likin' the first version better, meself.

Jarod 'n Parker be campin'. And before ye be askin', aye, that be a euphemism. Me voyeuristic squirrels be havin' quite some stories fer me.

Angela be visitin' the clinic, which still be the home o' Lilly--be ye wantin' yer mail forwarded, wench?--and Kiki.

That be all from the Crow's Nest fer tonight. Keep an eye out fer Matey-wit'-the-hat, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines at the microphone t' give ye yer daily dose o' dastardly plots, ridiculous-type shenanigens 'n former roommates who be bunnies.

Again.

*laughter*

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic
Thar be no classes, as it be Sunday. But apparently time be changin' on us last night, so be sure ye be not late t' classes in the mornin', ye here? T'be safe, I think I jes be skippin' them altogether.

Roomin'
I be havin' reliable reports sayin' that Cameron be outsmarted by a shower this mornin'. His roommate be terribly sympathetic. *papers rustling* I be havin' nothin' t' tell me if that be a euphemism.

Jake, me old roommate who be not a bunny, be eatin' in bed. Apparently this be a bad thing t' do, accordin' t' Krycek.

Other things that be bad t' do be talkin' t' the matey-in-the leather who be new in town. At least accordin' to Aeryn. She be makin' her feelings clear on that matter t' Crichton. I be wonderin' if I be able t' pull that look off meself.

And speakin' o' bunnies, hee, Logan-who-be-a-bunny-again, be havin' a talk wit' Angel in Angel's room. Except fer the part where Logan be a bunny 'n be not able t' talk back. And Angel be normally not what ye be callin' chatty. So I be thinkin' thar be a lot o' starin' at each other happenin' in thar today.

Logan-who-be-a-bunny-again be in the second floor common room tonight. He be thrilled t' see Cameron, Rory, Cally 'n Anakin. And Faithful be not eatin' Logan-who-be-a-bunny-again. I be admirin' yer restraint. Logan-who-be-a-bunny-again also be meetin' the new librarian. Who be not a bunny. These be things that be needin' t' be clarified around here, ye see.

Also in the second floor common room, Cam 'n Molly be playin' catch--not wit' Logan-who-be-a-bunny-again--then Cam be too lazy t' get himself a drink 'n be makin' Kara do it fer him, Bridge be explain' why he be not in his uniform right now 'n be not at all awkward with Xander. Except fer the part where that be a lie. Oh, and Zero's hair be blue today.

Pippi be buckin' the trend 'n spendin' time in the fifth floor common room instead.

Callynanders be back from their trip t' Washington 'n they be havin' what me notes be callin' a "wee goldfishie." I be not askin' if that be a euphemism. I be not.

Anakin be meditatin', then talkin' wit' Bridge, Sam 'n Pip be workin' out in the gym 'n then Sam be workin' on a lesson plan fer tomorrow. Jaye be in her room--I be not sure why this be particularly interestin'--and Rory be writin' email. Again, I jes be reportin'. If ye be not interestin' than neither be I.

Revelin'
Thar be all kinds o' interestin' people in town this week, in case ye be not noticin'. I be noticin', but I be the Pirate. I be noticin' everythin'. I be not carin', mind, but I be noticin'.

*shuffles papers*

Huh. Thar be another pirate in town. He be headless. Cecil, be that you? If if be, the whole thing wit' the wench 'n the wrench 'n the rum? I be realizin' it were a bad idea in retrospect. Sorry about that.

Tex be makin' one o' our visitors welcome in her usual way. Aye, if ye be wonderin', it be involvin' violence. And really, shame on ye fer havin' t' be told that.

Brunch at Luke's be uneventful, as be Wonka's, and the record store be closed today.

Apparently this be because everyone in the universe be over at the bookstore wit' too many letters in the name. Jarod be thar buyin' the Kama Sutra 'n a book on ninjas. If that be fer my ninja, I be not sure whether t' be offended or really, really grateful. Orlin be thar, 'n John Connor. John Connor be bringin' a gun wit' him? Be ye stupid? How dangerous d'ye thinks the books be? *dead air* On second thought, ye might be havin' a point. Pippi be lookin' fer gardenin' books, Alanna be lookin' fer somethin' about fightin', and Macbeth be attacked by a glass ball.

Oh, thar also be people in the theater, where "Gigli" be playin'. I be told this be a terrible, terrible movie. So when matey-wit'-the-leather be buyin' tickets fer every showin', well, I be wonderin' jes how evil he might be. Not that I be not takin' yer word fer it, Zhaan. Jaye be her normal charmin' self. Except fer the part whar she be snappin' at Wonka 'n a Trooper. And Cameron. And Professor Camulus 'n Orlin. If I be promisin' to throw glitter on cranky people, would that cheer ye, wench? And in case ye be not certain, aye Wonka be thar on a date wit' that Trooper. And Professor Camulus 'n Orlin be thar wit' similar plans.

Professor Camulus 'n Orlin be makin' waffles. *shuffles papers* That may be a euphemism. And if it be, that be puttin' me off breakfast foods fer a week.

Ivanova be broodin' on the beach, as ye do, and Walter be at the yunkyard, as ye could be. If ye be, I be not knowin', stuck wit' a boredom so profound as t' cripple many a lesser bein'. Unless thar be treasure thar. Be thar treasure?

In the sewers--aye, we be everywhere--John Connor be not eaten by somethin' that be sayin' *clears throat* OOoooOOOoOooOOO. Jay 'n Silent Bob be thar as well. What be wrong wit' ye people? What makes ye think "aye, it be a lovely day fer a trip into the sewers?" No offense, Angel.

Belthazor 'n Phoebe be huntin' fer a witch doctor. Be ye sick, Phoebe?

Thar also seems t' be a rash o' animal-nappin' attempts today: someone were after Jeremiah in the Perk, Vladdie in the park, 'n Cam-mollusc over at Jeff, God o' Biscuits. It be not clear if the attempted pet-nappin' be more traumatizin' t' Xander than his conversation with some matey named Tuco.

The matey-wit'-the-leather be meetin' up wit' Tuco over at Jeff, God o' Biscuits. And Dr. Oliver be knowin' one o' the newcomers--the one wit' the hair be called Rita Repulsa, apparently. And no, Crichton, that be not a new name fer the lovely Professor Skeeter. I, unlike ye, 'n me old roommate, be tryin' t' remain human fer this semester if at all possible. Anyway, they be catchin' up on old times. It be nice t' run into old friends. Right, Callisto?

Janet be alone in the clinic this mornin' and Stark be gettin' visited by Zhaan tonight, but no one seems t' be bleedin', so I be not that interested.

And that be all from the Crow's Nest II! Keep an eye out fer Matey-with-the-Hat 'n have a good night!

This be likeguidelines, back at the microphone after I be havin' t' see a matey about a thing wit' the guy and the stuff. Ye know how it is. And ye've certainly be been busy around here, now haven't ye?

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic
Crichton 'n Bridge be leadin' the Music class in kazoo-playin', Gardenin' be learnin' about evil plants--this be Fandom, o' course thar be evil plants--and Art classes be workin' on an installation. I were there. If ye be thinkin' bouncin' balls, a lot o' glitter and Parker lookin' like someone who be on some manner o' powerful narcotics, ye be not far off.

Government be learnin' how a bill be becomin' a law--apparently it be requirin' clothin'--Not So Advanced Journalism be lookin' into writin' styles, and Journalistic Integrity be researchin' unfair articles. And Professor Skeeter be gettin' gifts from Crichton 'n Cam. That be nice o' them. I be sure she be most appreciative. *shuffles papers* Or not. But Crichton be not turned into an animal, so that be a step in the right direction, I be guessin'.

Driver's Ed be learnin' t' parallel park and anyone who be sayin' I be doin' it poorly be a dirty liar. And Math classes be doin' somethin' math related that I be sure be terribly interestin' except I be not understandin' a word o' me notes so we'll be movin' on.

Pip 'n Anakin be stoppin' by Professor Harrington's office hours, and Isabel be winnin' the detention lottery this weekend, poor wench. She'll be joined by Angel 'n Logan-who-used-t'be-a-bunny, though, thanks t' a fight they be gettin' into on the second floor. Nicely done, mateys.

Dean Zordon, when he be not busy bettin' on basketball games, also be tellin' us that Muppet rats be performin' in the Humanities wing and if they still be there tomorrow, I be encouragin' ye all t' catch a performance. The teachers' lounge be provin' that the teachers be not partiers. Er, at all.

The Library be insanely talky fer somewhere yer supposed t'be studyin'. Well, not the room itself, though now that thar be something called a teal deer livin' thar, I be supposin' anything be possible. Oh, the deer be endangered. How sad. Be they good in a cream sauce, or be that a tacky thing t' ask? Rory 'n Cam be rehashin' Jaye's party, then Rory be talkin' to Zero about her upcomin' date with Peter. Zero's date. Not Rory's. Though Rory be not datin' anyone. Unless I be out o' the loop. Anakin be thar, actually studyin', before he be gettin' into a conversation wit' Peter--Peter be havin' extra arms, in case ye be missin' that memo-- 'n Rory. Peter be talkin' t' Rory about his date wit' Zero, too. Oh, then he be actually goin' on his date. Mmm. Chinese food. I be fond o' Asian cuisine. I should call Miho.

In the cafeteria, Pippi 'n Nadia be talkin' about Victor's new abilities--more on that later--and Cally 'n Professor Cregg also be stoppin' in fer food.

Roomin'
Aeryn 'n Cam be workin' out in the gym, Zero be gettin' flowers, and John Connor be listenin' t' the Rollin' Stones, which I be assumin' be music 'n not stones rollin', but I've been wrong before.

Blair be watchin' When Harold Met Sarah in the common room. Nadia, Mac, Ivanova, and Molly be joinin' him. Ohh! Blair be on the search fer the illusive big O, as illustrated by the diner scene. *hysterical laughter* Anakin be there t' make Blair feel better, then Parker be savin' Blair from Anakin because Anakin be not that skilled at makin' people feel better.

Isabel 'n Xander be reactin' t' last night's broadcast. I'd be sayin' somethin' t' Professor Skeeter fer ye, Isabel, but what she be sayin', well, be true. Also, she be gradin' me. Also also, she be scary. But not as scary as Lord Vizzle the scary-lookin' man who were in Creature Languages yesterday. Draco be quite glad t' see him gone, it seems.

Jake be concerned that his bisexuality be not concernin' him enough. *shuffles papers* I be readin' that report three times, me hearties. It be not makin' sense t' me either.

Blair 'n Molly be meetin' in the lobby fer their date, which be a showin' o' Glitter. I be assured that this be widely considered t' be a bad move. The movie, not the date.

Victor be havin' claws now? Huh. It be not seemin' t' bother Walter. I be thinkin' the correct response t' that be "dirty." Then they both be stoppin' by Pippi's so Victor can be apologizin' fer bein' an ass. That be a good habit t' get into.

Pippi be gettin' Alphonse t' repair her boat, Cam be readin' in his room, and Parker be checkin' on Isabel after last night's radio.

The sun be comin' up today, so thar be a second floor common room orgy tonight. Sam be thar watchin' Wormhole X-treme, which I only be watchin' fer the occasional hot alien. Parker be comin' in, still scarily happy. She also be oglin' the people on the show and talkin' t' Alanna 'n Faithful. Who be not speakin' t' each other. And to think that a talkin' cat would've made me blink a few months ago. Anders be sharin' food with the crowd--he be like Jesus in a way, really--and Bridge be tellin' Sam that this show be a classic t' him before talkin' t' Rory about wallabies. *shuffles papers* I be havin' nothin' t' say if that be a euphemism. Rory 'n Parker be talkin' about romance, so maybe wallabies do be a euphemism. Apparently wormholes be scarin' Callisto. I be not too fond o' worms meself. And Xander be thar wit' his laptop. I be fond o' laptops. And laps, fer that matter. I should head over t' the Sin sometime soon.

Oh, and it wouldn't be Fandom if thar be not someone up on the roof. Tonight it be Nadia, and she be bringin' a guitar. *sounds of pounding* Ye be messin' up me broadcast!

Revelin'
Doctor Lambert be makin' coffee this mornin'. In other related news that be not news, the sun be comin' up and Callynanders be cute. The clinics be empty o' patients, which I suppose be a good thing, but doesn't exactly make fer excitin' broadcastin'. Oh, Cam be visitin' Doctor Pen-somethin'.

No one be at Caritas or Cafe Fina, but Phoebe be bringin' cookies to Lana over at that bookshop with the long name. I be likin' cookies. Jes' sayin'.

Lyta be in the park, Orlin 'n Agatha be talkin' about Orlin's computer--that be soundin' fascinatin'--and Maia be lookin' fer Tonks at Wonka's. Maybe she should look fer Tonks at Tonks'.

In All 'n Sundries, Angela be buyin' scrapbookin' supplies. Fer real scrapbookin'. Not the euphemism. Poor Marty. Pippi be gettin' manicurin' stuff, and that be not Pip, as I be originally readin'. Which would, frankly, be slightly more interestin'. Bel be tryin' t' get in touch wit' his Earth Mother side or something--he be buyin' gardenin' supplies--and Ivanova be checkin' up on Edmund.

Jarod be openin' the Sin--hi, Jarod--and Professor Cregg be waitin' fer someone at the Perk.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer the Matey With the Hat, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the latest 'n greatest o' life here in Fandom from the Crow's Nest II. Yes, it normally be not me night t' do the radio. We here at the radio like t' keep ye on yer toes.

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic
Gardenin' folks be lookin' at handouts, which be soundin' almost as excitin' as waitin' fer somethin' to grow, I be guessin'. I be a pirate. What be I knowin' about growin' things? In language classes today, Classics be havin' a quiz, 'n Foreign Lit be findin' a bard poem. I be guessin' those not be startin' "I once knew a wench from Tortuga..." Creature Languages be translatin' a nursery rhyme into Dragon, Rat, or Spider 'n Blair be givin' Molly a hat. It be a nice hat. Not as nice as mine, o' course, but a nice gesture all the same.

Professor Tick be tryin' t' get his Advanced Criminal Justice class t' pledge that he be gettin' some warnin' before they be tryin' t' kill themselves again. Some o' them be seemin' more sincere about the pledge than others. Then they all be watchin' an episode o' Crime 'n Punishment. I be wit' Angel--that mime be up t' no good.

Crichton 'n Bridge be runnin' Professor Logan's Music class today, where they be tryin' t' describe music from yer world in fifteen words. Let me try: Not enough shanties. Entirely more country than strictly necessary. 'n way too much Rob Thomas. Xander be stealin' Twinkies. Yes, we be seein' that.

Chemistry be balancin' equations. It be not sayin' what they be balancin' the equations on, though. General-type Physical Conditionin' be playin' basketball, History o' Medieval England be havin' an exam, and Sex Cultures be gettin' paired up t' research weddings. *shuffles papers* But be not actually gettin' married, which I be sure be a relief t' Han 'n Sawyer, who be paired up.

One class o' Speech be givin' speeches 'n the other one be gettin' blindfolded 'n walked into walls. *shuffles papers* Well, mayhap not, but if I were leadin' blindfolded people around, I'd be walkin' them into walls.

In Professor Gilmore-Danes' classes they be learnin' about civil litigation 'n interview techniques, and Professor Lyman's class be learnin' about their candidates' accomplishments. They also be learnin' that Professor Lyman be afraid o' mariachi bands. Aren't we all, though, really?

Thar be a lot o' movie-watchin' today. Jung be watchin' another Space Battles, Psych be watchin' Bleatin' o' the Bunnies, and Arthurian Legends be watchin' Mists o' Avalon.

Thar be food in the teachers' lounge, but most o' them seem t' be more interested in their office hours today. Professor Cregg be visited by Parker, Jack Harkness 'n Boone durin' her office hours. Piper be chattin' with Professor Gilmore-Danes durin' her office hours, and Cameron, Peter 'n Aeryn all be stoppin' by t' see Professor Skeeter. No one be turned into an animal, as far as I be knowin'. Crichton also be interviewin' Matey-wit'-the-Hat fer his music class.

In the cafeteria, Nadia 'n Boone apparently be failin' at flirtin' wit' each other. D'ye need some manner o' instructions on the ways o' wooin'? If ye do, I'd be sayin' not t' ask me about it. Blair be sad t' see someone else chattin' wit' Nadia, regardless, 'n Victor be tryin' t' cheer him up. It be Blair. I be guessin' this be not too hard t' do. Pip 'n Angel be eatin' lunch together, 'n until Pip be lightin' up I be not knowin' that the school be a smokin' buildin' aside from what might be comin' from the Chemistry lab or the Danger Room Shop. Pippi 'n Paige also be there, eatin' 'n chattin' about class.

Valentine's Day 'n things that be romance-related be quite the popular topic today. Vala 'n Cam be talkin' about it in the TA lounge, and Angela 'n Rory be talkin' relationships in the library. Angela also be sharin' the chocolates she be gettin' from Broots. Parker 'n Rory's conversation be headin' that direction, too--about relationships, though, not Broots--after beginnin' wit' a "Why Be Ye Not Appreciatin' Me Contributions t' the Study Group?" discussion that be not terribly polite. Aeryn be stoppin' by t' research other animals that Crichton might be turnin' into, and Jack Harkness be thar flirtin' wit' Parker.

In the clinic, Doctor Pen-somethin' be seein' Ivanova, and Alanna be stoppin' by t' work.

Roomin'
Everyone be invited t' Jack Harkness's birthday party next Monday. I'd say I'd be thar wit' bells on, but apparently Parker be already havin' that particular angle covered.

Speakin' o' gifts, in addition t' the chocolates I be mentionin' already, Angela also be gettin' flowers, Lyta be gettin' gloves, Xander be gettin' all manner o' Twinkie goodness, 'n Jaye be gettin' a thong. *shuffles papers* I be not askin'. I be not.

In the gym, Aeryn be apologizin' to Cam 'n teachin' Isabel how t' punch. Not at the same time, though. Later on Pip be teachin' Veronica how t' fight.

Marty 'n Sam be talkin' about wormholes. They be tiny 'n in the dirt. I be not sure what be so interestin' about them. Marty also be settin' up a romantic dinner fer Sam 'n Janet. Um. Why? Blair be comin' up wit' his own datin' plan. I'd be not askin' Marty fer advice, Blair. He be thinkin' that Sam 'n Janet be together! *shuffles papers* Unless they be together. I be not sure. Archie be gettin' advice from Rory about datin', then bein' all awkward wit' Jaye. Mayhap ye should ask Rory fer advice, Blair. Or out, even. She be single, too, after all!

Thar be a Game Night on Saturday Night in the fourth floor common room. Be markin' yer calendars.

Xander be not writin' a letter. Parker be, though. Veronica be talkin' to Phoebe about Belthazor, then be talkin' t' a weevil. *shuffles paper* I be havin' nothin' t' tell me who be turned into a weevil. It be not Janet, though. She be stoppin' by later.

Elizabeth be havin' strange dreams, as be Nadia. Kiki be workin' again, and Crichton 'n Aeryn be talkin'. Fer those o' ye keepin' track, Crichton be not-an-animal fer a whole day now. Congratulations t' ye, matey! Jaye be...slightly strange.

Revelin'
Alfred be givin' Walter a test, Callisto 'n Orlin be stoppin' by Harper's new place, and GOB's bird be hatin' him. I be knowin' what that be like. *angry squawking in the background* Shut up, Will.

Agatha be in a good mood when she be openin' her shop, Angela 'n Jack Harkness be talkin' about dates 'n parties at the Perk, and Cameron-who-be-havin'-a-death-wish be interviewin' Tex about her favorite music at Blood Gulch Arms.

Over at the new book store, which be havin' a name that be in Latin and thus I be callin' The Book Store because I be naught but a humble pirate, Giles be meetin' a very confused Paige, Orlin who be wantin' books, Walter who be wantin' to visit, and Alanna 'n Kiki.

At Jeff, God o' Biscuits, Tommy be talkin' wit' no one. Marty, who also be talkin' with no one, be pickin' up a mariachi band, courtesy o' Parker. Marty 'n Tommy then be talkin' t' each other, which be makin' sense, since they be not talkin' to anyone else earlier. Marty be strikin' out wit' Isabel, Jaye 'n a certain good lookin' pirate that I be knowin' be gettin' serenaded, and Jaye, who be talkin' to her purse, be settin' Marty up wit' Quinn.

Over at Empire Records, Sawyer be interviewin' Lucas about his favorite music, Paige be lookin' fer music from the 14th Century, and Marty be bringin' his bunch o' bards into the shop wit' him as well. Then, after a break fer some other supplies at All 'n Sundries, Marty 'n his band o' merry men be headin' t' Cafe Fina fer a dinner t' go. Not that the Gomez Brothers be invited fer dinner, though. That be rude.

Also at All 'n Sundries, Nadia be buyin' two liters o' glitter, heaven be helpin' us, and Pip be lookin' fer a recorder. If it be the musical instrument type, it be the only thing in the universe more annoyin' than the dulcet tones o' the banthabell.

Cafe Fina be lookin' fer additional people t' work there, and Walter be servin' Lucas dinner tonight. *shuffles paper* I be not knowin' why that be particularly interestin', but thar it be.

Phoebe be singin' a lot at Caritas tonight. She also be gossipin' wit' Paige about Bel. Who Phoebe may or may not be datin' again. Not that I be particularly interested either way, o' course. Artie be there, too, dancin', gettin' kissed by Phoebe,'n meetin' the new doc in town, who be lookin' a mite familiar.

Orlin 'n Agatha be out on a date, and GOB be givin' Becky a dove over at the Sin. Someone also be droppin' off pie fer a ninja who be workin' there, too. I be wonderin' who.

Ohhhh. And Darla be movin' in to the Sin. Aye, ye be hearin' that right. Batten down the hatches. I be predictin' stormy weather, even if she be tellin' Jarod she be innocent now when they be meetin' in the park.

That be all from the Crow's Nest II. Keep an eye out fer Matey-wit'-the-Hat, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the highs 'n lows o' life in Fandom from the study hall because the evil snow monsters be breakin' me house 'n leavin' me homeless, the cold-blooded bastards who be not havin' blood as far as I be knowin' but I be upset, dammit, and mayhap a little drunk, so ye'll just have t' deal.

*hiccup*

Readin', Writin', 'Rithamatic
Professor Cregg be "reassurin'" the Doctor in the humanities wing last night. And yes, before ye ask, that be a euphemism.

The weather be back t' normal, the monsters be gone, and so be the townies in the gym (includin' Harper), after havin' gotten breakfast from the Baron, Alfred 'n Deb. *hiccup* They all be havin' homes t' go back to, I be assumin'.

And me old roommates be talkin' with Dean Zordon 'n findin' themselves a new place t' live. I be fine on me own, boys. Don't ye be worryin' about me. Oh, wait, ye didn't.

*hiccup*

Anyway. Over in the clinic, Lana be visitin' Han 'n chattin' with Pippi, and Walter be comin' in wit' a hurt wrist. Han be writin' a letter 'n gettin' visited by Jessica in the clinic as well.

Oh! Principal Smith be called away. Fare ye well, ye evil ninja-stealin' bastard.

Roomin'
Professor Tick be tendin' t' Lockheed, who be milkin' bein' frozen fer a time yesterday fer all it be worth. Good fer ye, Lockheed.

Many o' ye who have places t' call home be wakin' up in yer own rooms, in the case o' Callisto, Callynanders (who be cute, in case ye be worried), and Walter 'n Victor, who be snuggly in an equally drastic change o' pace. Other people's be wakin' up in rooms that be not theirs. Fer instance, Jarod be in Parker's room -- Rory seems t'be more excited about this development than a sane person should be -- and Archie be in Jaye's room.

Piper be not especially pleased t' see that Logan-who-used-t'be-bunny be crashed in her and Veronica's room. Veronica be tryin' t' explain. I be not sure that Piper be buyin' it.

John Connor be surveyin' the damage to the first floor, Sam, Sharon 'n Doctor Jackson all be gettin' shark snow globes, and Nadia be gettin' munchies from her secret siblin'.

Allie be cheerin' Nadia up, Alphonse 'n Sakura be blushin' 'n talkin' together, and Peter be jumpin' around the school grounds. As far I can tell, it be not involvin' any manner o' pogo stick. Huh. What ever be makin' ye happy, I suppose.

*hiccup*

Jessica be on the phone, Izzie 'n Marty be workin' on homework together. *shuffles papers* As far as I be knowin' that be not a euphemism. Angel also be organizin' a study session. Glad someone be doin' schoolwork. I certainly be not. And neither, apparently, be Pip.

After Lee's brave rescue o' Xander from the terrors o' the second floor utility closet, Xander 'n Isabel be talkin' about the events o' yesterday. Fer whatever reason, snowmonsters be comin' up a lot today. I be havin' no idea why.

Cam 'n Lee be stoppin' in to see how Kara be holdin' up after her injuries from yesterday's epic battle. Sam also be gettin' visited by Crichton, Dr. Pevensie, 'n Rory. Rory be bringin' chocolate. Very nice.

Inavona be not feelin' very well today, Kiki be sleepin' in, and Maia be visitin' with Lana after Lana's workout in the gym.

Zero's family be on television! And her friends, o' course, be mockin' it. Zero, be it true that yer mother be hot? *hiccup* Peter be not killin' Zero, much t' her disappointment, then Cam 'n Peter be comparin' special powers. *papers shuffle* Yeah, that be not a euphemism either.

Alphonse be crashin', finally, Isabel 'n Angela be makin' plans together, Anders be talkin' to a sleepin' Cally, which means they be cute twice in one day, and Veronica be returnin' a phone t' a weevil. How be it pickin' the phone up? It be so tiny!

Pippi 'n Walter be playin' in the snow. Oh, it be seemin' innocent 'til it up 'n eats yer house. It won't be foolin' me again. Then they be hangin' out in the third floor common room wit' Victor 'n Pip. Susan 'n Jessica be in the second floor common room together.

Revelin'
The small horde o' heavily armed hookers be makin' their way back t' the Sin, where they be gettin' a tongue-lashin' from Becky--but not in any manner o' a dirty way, jes' in case ye be curious--and cookies from Miho. Hi, Miho!

Lucas be makin' calls 'n be pretty sure that Empire Records'll be openin' on Tuesday despite the evil house-destroyin' snow monsters o' this weekend.

Artie 'n Major K! be in All 'n Sundries when Edmund be openin' it up this mornin'. *shuffles papers* I also be havin' somethin' here about nylons bein' involved but I think I be better off not knowin' the details. And speakin' of not wantin' t' know details, Phoebe 'n Crowley be wakin' up together. And they both be naked. And thar be not enough rum in the world t' make me think any more about this.

Harper be in town 'n lookin' fer an apartment. He be gettin' a place at Quark's. I be sleepin' on a desk in the study hall. The world be not fair. *hiccup*

Zhaan 'n Batou be back at Sanctity, Anders be at Deb's 'n talking about Snowmonsters 2006, 'n Agatha be hard at work again.

Oh! Doctor Wilson still be in the hospital, if ye be worried. He be doin' much better, we be hearin'.

That be all from this sorry excuse fer a Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer evil, house ruinin' snowbeasties, and have a good night!

*hiccup*

This be likeguidelines, back at the microphone after two long weeks. Did ye miss me? If ye didn't, lie. Ye'll hurt me delicate pirate feelings otherwise. Hope ye've been enjoyin' our new radio talent--tomorrow ye will be gettin' the chance t' vote on the seven people or things ye want t' bring ye the news this semester.

If I be not among them, I be sulkin' more than Anakin Skywalker. Ye don't want t' be responsible fer that, now do ye?

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic
The princi-PAL be in his office. No one be bringin' him any pie or botherin' him today. Mayhap ye can be taught! Parker be havin' a chat wit' Dean Washburn in her office. Dean Washburn's, I mean. Not Parker's. I be not thinkin' Parker be havin' an office.

Oh, and nicely done, Archie 'n Anders. Ye be gettin' everyone in the dorms t' wake up t' hear ye gettin' called t' Dean Zordon's office.

Roomin'
Not that anyone who be on the second floor be sleepin' all that soundly t' begin with, thanks t' certain brothers that I could be mentionin'. The common room be goin' boom durin' the night. Marty be most distressed t' see it. Jaye be addin' doilies t' the charred mess. I be not sure that be makin' things much better. Quinn be tryin' wit' primer 'n paint. Most o' the dorm be showin' up t' help. And Sakura be givin' Ed a piece o' her mind fer his part in what happened.

John Connor be sellin' lofts. Ye want yer bed to hang in the air? Get a hammock. Cally be not happy wit' Anders fer the fight he be havin' wit' Archie last night. But before ye be gettin' too worried, be assured that Callynanders be cute later this evenin'.

Paige be sick today. Mayhap it's the same thing that had Rory so pathetic-like in the common room yesterday. Han be writin' letters, Walter be havin' dreams, and Alanna's door be painted like the French flag. Ye be havin' me sympathies fer it, Alanna.

Pippi be writin' a letter home, and Aeryn be sharin' Crichton's clothes wit' Tweedledum, err, Cam. Then Tweedledee, err, Crichton be comin' into the room 'n thar be a conversation.

Phoebe 'n Bel be talkin', Ivanova be makin' contact wit' home, and Lee be thinkin' about England, which be an actual country wit' a glorious history and very nice ships that be easy t' steal from in the West Indies.

*coughing*

Movin' on.

Allie 'n Han be watchin' a movie in the fourth floor common room, which be not blown up. As far as I know, in any case. Victor be takin' "hangin' out" a tad too literally in the third floor common room. He be on the ceilin'. Really.

Kara be gettin' some bad news from home. We'll be missin' ye, wench. Come back soon.

The Prinicpal o' Vice be in the lobby chattin' with Veronica, Professor Replicarter, Angela, Isabel 'n our new Security Man-who-be-not-Rover.

And Walter be up on the roof in the rain. If ye want to be wet, ye can just hang out in town, Walter. The Evil Balloon Bandit'll get ye.

Revelin'
Major K! 'n Cameron be havin' a man-to-man-type talk down on Galactica Point.

Veronica, Piper, Chloe, Phoebe, Parker, Mac, Lilly 'n Angela be havin' a girls' day at the NPC Day Spa. I be neither a girl, nor be havin' any interest in havin' me toes painted pretty colors, so I be hearin', um, I mean, there be not too much t' report about their day. Before I be gettin' bored 'n wanderin' off--I mean, before the reports stopped comin' in, we be learnin' that Lilly be givin' Veronica her key back, Angela 'n Mac be gettin' acquainted, and Parker be tellin' Veronica about how Bel be a right idiot yesterday. Jaye--I be hearin' ye have pictures of Angel's payback fer that. Can ye help a pirate out? Parker also be thankin' Piper fer her help yesterday wit' the Bel bein' an idiot 'n switchin' bodies with Angel thing. Which be dumb. Jes in case me point hasn't been made.

Parker 'n Angela be gettin' ready t' brave Special Collections tomorrow. Be careful, wenches--didn't it turn one o' the professors into a newt last semester? Phoebe, fresh out o' the sarcophagus, which I be learnin' about in the Egyptian section o' me art class--why ye be in one, Phoebe? Be ye dead? Not that thar be anything wrong wit' that around here, o' course-- be up 'n walkin' today. 'n gettin' a pedicure, as ye do, I suppose. Ooh, this be good. Veronica apparently be not comin' home last night, spendin' the night with somethin' called a weevil. Veronica? Ye could do better. Weevils are very tiny. Piper 'n Chloe be teasin' her for it, as ye should. Veronica 'n Angela be talkin' about Angela's break-up wit' Marty, which I be sad t' hear of.

Speakin' o' Marty, he be seen in the Sin today. Wonder if that be somethin' t' do wit' the break-up. The Security Man-who-be-not-Rover be checkin' in at the Sin t' make sure that GOB be not a threat t' Becky. Excuse me while I be laughin' at anyone bein' thought to be a threat t' Becky. Jarod be makin' breakfast fer Miho, and be chattin' with Inara. Granny Weatherwax also be comin' t' stay at the Sin. Becky be thrilled. But not as thrilled as GOB, who be sayin' all the wrong things t' Granny. Now he be thinkin' he's a frog. I be givin' rum t' the first person who makes him eat a fly.

Thar be a Valentine's Day special at Jack's Flowers. Someone be wantin' t' tell me what this is about? I be not familiar wit' the holiday.

John 'n Harry be glarin' at each other in the Perk, then Harry be chattin' with Jessica. Later in the Perk, Professor Cregg-who-be-a-teen be messin' wit' Veronica before Veronica be figurin' out who she is. That be kind of mean, aye? Thar also be balloonin'. In fact, if it be happenin' in town, chances are, thar be balloonin'. I'd be sellin' umbrellas if I had any t' spare. Quark 'n Professor Grissom be gettin' acquainted, too, as are Quark 'n Callisto. This conversation be not goin' so well fer Quark. Professor Cregg also be talkin' wit' Professor Grissom. And later that evenin' Walter 'n Arthur be havin' a lovely chat at the Perk that be not at all escalatin' into violence. Really.

At the Emporium, Jaye be gettin' doilies fer her unsuccessful attempt t' clean up the second floor common room ('n gettin' ballooned by the Evil Balloon Bandit), Quinn be pickin' up paint fer her more successful attempt t' clean up the second floor common room ('n be gettin' ballooned, along wit' Professor Tick), and Walter be goin' clothes shoppin'. And be not gettin' ballooned.

Thar be some new faces in town today. Quark be a new landlord--and be meetin' Jenny, one o' his new tenants. Artie be meetin' GOB 'n Susan, Alfred be meetin' Pippi 'n the Baron, who be a cat. He be settin' up his own business. This, strangely enough, be not the first business in town t' be run by a cat. This place be strange.

And speakin' o' strange, Red 'n his cubs be magicked out o' town. Larry, Mo 'n Curly be leavin' town, too--sayin' goodbye t' Wilson 'n Aziraphale. Loz be makin' his own farewells t' Professor Chaucer, which be not so safe fer work, I be told. And then they all be sayin' goodbye t' Professor Cregg, who then be sad on the beach, as ye are.

Deb be writin' in her diary, Ivanova be talkin' wit' Quark 'n Inara at Wonka's, and Deb's be busy tonight wit' the Baron, Han, Faithful, Quark, 'n the Doctor-who-be-a-teenager, all stoppin' by.

At Aziraphale's, Michael be comin' by t' ask about Ben. Be ye not livin' wit' him? Maybe ye should ask him yerself.

Spike's pub be up fer sale. Professor Lyman 'n the Baron be seein' a movie at the theater today. Separately. Professor Lyman also be hearin' about some reckless teenagers who be givin' Joel some attitude last night. That be, far as I can tell, a description that could be applied t' just about everyone at this school.

Doctor House be takin' Vicodin, which I be assured be bad, even if Doctor Wilson's reaction t' it be not tippin' me off. Doctor Wilson be talkin' t' Aziraphale, who be closin' his shop when Dr. Wilson be callin' him, about it later.

Angel be havin' a party tonight at Jeff, God of Pastries. Thar be all manner of conversations goin' on. Isabel 'n Aeryn be talkin' about the gym, Parker 'n Angel be talkin' and gettin' ballooned, Parker 'n Lee be gettin' snuggly. *shuffles papers* That's what it be sayin' here, anyway. Blair be gettin' Parker t' sniff Jaye's hair. I be not askin'. I be not. Angel be givin' Logan-who-used-t'be-a-bunny his cross back. Be that mean they're gettin' married or somethin'? Angel 'n Alanna be talkin' about torturin' demons, which be wholesome family fun fer any kind of party. The strongest man in the world, Artie, be meeting the strongest girl in the world, Pippi. The world be not exploded yet. Peter 'n Angel be meetin', Peter 'n Jaye be hatin' each other, and Peter 'n Isabel be much less awkward wit' each other today, and both be wet from the Evil Balloon Bandit. Speakin' of which, Jaye be callin' the balloon bandit a bitch and be livin' t' tell the tale. I'd be sayin' that I be proud t' know ye, but I be afraid that be puttin' me in the way o' the balloon bandit who already has a vendetta against me fer some reason. Bridge also be gettin' ballooned, then has a conversation that makes sense t' him 'n Blair, which be good, because none o' the rest of us be understandin' them. Quinn also be gettin' ballooned. Then Crichton be steppin' on her foot. Quinn be not havin' a good week.

Angel be makin' a toast, and Logan-who-used-t'be-a-bunny be announcin' that he be not sleepin' with Molly. In case any of ye were wonderin'. Blair be wantin' his shirt back, thar be lots o' compliments fer Angela's new hair, Angel 'n Callisto be cute. Then they be ballooned. Angel be tellin' Archie about his no-good-very-bad day yesterday, and Archie be tellin' Angela and Callisto about his trip t' Dean Zordon's office. Thar be all manner o' small talk, too. And more balloons. Jaye and Archie be, and I be quotin' here, "dorky," and Lee be wonderin' why anyone would be thinkin' that Rory 'n Anakin be more than friends.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer the...um...man wit' the hat that be almost as nice as mine, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines 'n Will-who-be-a-nuisance bringin' ye the highs 'n lows of life in Fandom this Tuesday evenin'.

Readin', Writin', 'Rithamatic
In Art Appreciation, Callisto be sleepin' 'n covered in paint. So the class be helpin' her decorate the room, all quiet-like. Because we be in no way suicidal enough t'want t'wake her up.

Criminal Justice be havin' a free period where they be eatin' coffee 'n donuts 'n gettin' their grades. I be not knowin' that "Keen" be part o' the gradin' system in this school.

Shop class be doin' their final exam, as be Arthurian Traditions. The Language classes be turnin' in their final projects, as be Western Lit 'n Introduction t' Business.

Nobody be studyin' in study hall, and Professors Eppes 'n Chaucer, and Principal Bristow be holdin' office hours.

The library wenches be havin' quite the feast today. They be chattin' about Ethics class while they be eatin' food they be not sharin' wit' me. Zero 'n Parker be especially excited about the food they be not sharin' wit' me. Parker 'n Sam be talkin' about the nothin' they be gettin' up to last night, Lee be workin' on his poetry assignment, and Jake be comin' in 'n bringin' all the library wenches gifts.

And Logan 'n Xander be gettin' permission from Coach-Ash-who-be-shot-into-space t'go look at Special Collections porn. Lucky bastards.

Roomin'
Lee 'n Parker both be hungover this mornin'.

We be hearin' that Angel be likin' a girl 'n that Aeryn 'n Crichton be, and I be quotin' her, "snuggly." *shuffles papers* This apparently be news.

And Angel 'n Veronica be talkin' about puppies today. *more shuffling papers* I be havin' no word whether this be the girl he be likin'. Because he also be gettin' jumped by Callisto in the second floor common room this evenin'.

Angela 'n Marty be exchangin' Christmas gifts, as be Phoebe 'n Belthazor and Lee 'n Kara. Phoebe also be playin' Santa around the dorms, deliverin' gifts t' a whole lot o' people. So be Kiki, on behalf o' Professor Calendar, and Maia. She be gettin' me a present 'n everything. More people should be gettin' me presents. Aye. *squawking* That be not flyin', if possible.

If ye be in town over the holidays, thar be a July in Christmas celebration on the 25th in the Danger Room Shop.

And speakin' o' things that be terribly strange, Parker be playin' wit' her recently acquired Xbox. Who be able t' talk. That not be the strange part. The strange part be Marty wearin' tights and stoppin' in t' talk wit' it. After he be makin' a scene--and spillin' rum! in the common room. He also be stoppin' by to see Professor Tick. Ohhhh. He be bit by a gremlin. That still be no excuse fer spillin' rum, though.

Thar be no kind of hugely awkward moment wit' Cally 'n Kara in the common room this afternoon. Except that thar were. And Maia 'n Chiana be talkin' about what they be doin' in Seattle over the break.

Lisa be up on the roof workin' on her Advanced Math project, and Rory be sendin' out an email t' protest the Ethics grades. Thar seems t' be quite the interest.

Cam be headin' home fer the holidays. His mother be insistin'. And Jonathan be sayin' goodbye to Lily Evans.

And Six be makin' his escape. Good fer ye, Six. Enjoy yer freedom.

Revelin'
Jiji, Salmoneus 'n Parker be stoppin' t' speak wit' Red at his shop, Michael 'n Chiana be conductin' business at the bank, and Chewbacca be gettin' into the holiday spirit over at Spike's.

Professors Macleod 'n Camulus be exchangin' greetings at the Perk this evening, and Aeryn 'n Callisto be havin' quite the interestin' conversation there earlier this afternoon. Apparently Aeryn be servin' as some manner o' matchmaker.

Doctor House be back from his trip. Doctor Wilson be happy t' see him. Veronica 'n Piper be chattin' at a terribly quiet Caritas, and Jarod be at home tryin' t' name his kitten. That be not a horrible euphamism, despite him livin' at the Fourth Sin. *shuffles papers* At least I think it be not.

Jonathan be stoppin' into Aziraphale's t' buy a book fer his grandmother. Aziraphale's be sellin' a book? That be news indeed. Jon also be meetin' a, err, newcomer t' town. Strange lookin' creature it be, too. Inara be stoppin' by wit' tea, too.

Aziraphale 'n his, err, friend, be stoppin' in at Deb's, where Han 'n Bagaos be havin' one o' their last meals together.

That be all from the Crow's Nest, and this be the Pirate's last broadcast fer this school year. The lovely Jaye will be on tomorrow, and then the radio be takin' a brief vacation from all yer lovely gossip until the New Year. We be back wit' a vengeance in time fer the next semester.

We will be lookin' fer new on-air talent, too, if any o' ye be interested. Somethin' t' ponder wit' yer holiday-type feasts.

Keep an eye out fer the Rover, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines *irritated squawking* and Will-who-be-a-nuisance, bringin' ye the highs 'n lows of this very slow day in Fandom.

Readin', Writin', Rithamatic
Thar be no detention today, and no one be bleedin' in the clinic. Where be the holiday-related mayhem, folks? If someone be not bit by some manner o' rampagin' mistletoe before the end o' term, I confess that I will be a mite disappointed.

*more squawking* And so be Will, apparently. If ye be at all carin' what a parrot be thinkin' about anythin'.

Roomin'
Vala 'n I be gettin' Secret Santa gifts today. Ye all wish ye had Santas who be as thoughtful. O' course, Cam be not that thrilled that someone who be not him be givin' Vala a necklace, but Vala seems t'be able to make him cheer up rather quickly. And no, I be not tellin' ye the details as to how.

Veronica 'n Piper be bakin' cookies (which be not made of people, Marty, in case ye be concerned), and Rory be quite the Christmas elf today, givin' out gifts t' Jake, Callisto, Crichton, Bridge, Callynanders, Professor Tick, DEATH, Lee and Angela. I be hearin' it be terrible warm in that common room, too. Rory be blushin' most o' the evenin'.

Sonia be in quite the flurry o' activity. We be hearin' things might not be great at home. And Crichton 'n Aeryn be tryin' t' get past some of their awkwardness from earlier in the week, and Marty be learnin' that it be not the best idea t' fall asleep in a common room.

John Connor be thinkin' we all be crazy. If it be takin' ye this long t'realize it, John, I be thinkin' ye might be needin' to check into the clinic t'see if ye've lost yer memory as well. Most of us be arrivin' at that conclusion somewhere around the first sightin' of the squid.

Revelin'
Janet 'n Aeryn be talkin' at the Perk, and Angela be thar interviewin' Professor Methos 'n the Doctor about thar Christmas-type traditions.

Ben be gettin' some shoppin' done at Red's.

Tonks be gettin' a book from her Secret Santa, and Crowley be gettin' a few gifts of his own from Kiki.

If it be seemin' slow around town, that be because everyone in the world be at Aziraphale's holiday party. Most of the group is sticking around in the lounge where Willy Wonka, Puss, Kiki, Spike, Doctor Wilson, Inara, Doctor Grissom 'n Professor Sidle, Darla, Michael, Red, Carmen Sandiego, Jarod, GOB, and Becky all be chattin' about many, many things that be gettin' too overlappin' fer me surveillance t' hear properly. Thar be some mandatory kissin' under the mistletoe as well, o' course, and people stoppin' to wish Aziraphale 'n Crowley glad tidings of the season.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer the Rover, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the latest 'n greatest of this very quiet Sunday in Fandom.

Readin', Writin', 'Rithamatic
Thar be no manner o' studyin' bein' done today, as it be Sunday and ye be not exactly the-hittin'-the-books types when thar be more than 10 days left o' school.

Angela be headin' t'the clinic. It be slow today, folks. I be reportin' what I be given.

Roomin'
Shep be joggin'. Everyone else (includin' Lily 'n Draco) be stayin' in bed because exercise be evil.

Professor Grissom be teachin' Professor Sidle t'sign and Kara be not at all nervous about her big Pyramid tryout.

Belthazor, Duo 'n Marty be gettin' Secret Santa presents, Veronica 'n Piper be decoratin' the attic, and Professor Tick be just filled with the Christmas spirit. Like, frighteningly so. Mayhaps thar be a pill fer that in the clinic?

Lana 'n Maia be watchin' a movie wit' some actor who be bearin' a scary resemblance to the Principal in it. Not that thar be anything scary about our Principal. No sir. Most of their time be spent chattin' about Lana 'n Shep, though. Apparently thar now be a Lana 'n Shep. Thar still be a Cam 'n Vala, too, in case ye be worried that we be not mentionin' it in a while. They be cute, especially when Vala be gettin' a present.

And Marty be watchin' Mister What in the second floor common room. Alanna 'n Wesley be stoppin' by t' mock the wonderfully cheesy special effects.


Revelin'
Professor Cregg be takin' Jack Harkness t' Mass wit' her.

Han 'n Bagoas be back from wherever they were. They be not seemin' too terribly happy wit' each other, though.

Rory be interviewin' Aeryn about Christmas in the Perk, Jonathan be stoppin' in fer advise at Aziraphale's, and Spike's be gettin' a big screen TV.

Professor Jerusalem, the Doctor and Michael be gettin' Secret Santa gifts.

Rory be runnin' into Drusilla in town tonight. Angel be thar t'help her out, though. Yeah, that be just as weird fer me t'report as fer ye to hear, I be sure.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer the Rover, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines, bringin' ye the latest 'n greatest from Fandom High on this snowy Monday. Snow. Huh.

*sounds of squawking* Quiet, Will. Oh, this be me new parrot, Will. Say hello t'Fandom, Will.

*silence*

Fine. Don't say hello. Movin' on.

Readin', Writin', 'Rithamatic
Anthropology be learnin' about migration, the History sub be confusin' the heck out o' his classes, and Geology be studyin' the Earth's magnetic field. Their final exam be next Monday, poor things.

Ethics class be comin' up with their own topics o' discussion today, so it be a sight less dramatic than Friday's class. Art Appreciation be featurin' a dance routine that ye all should be sorry t'have missed.

Doctor Grissom's classes be learnin' about hypnotically refreshed memory 'n euthanasia, the Doctor be gettin' the ideas of the Quantum Physics' students final projects, and Doctor Jackson be talkin' about something so advanced I can't even explain it t' ye. I be naught but a humble pirate, after all.

*parroty snickering* Quiet, you.

Dean Jerusalem be tellin' tales in Journalism, Speech be talkin' body language, and Cyborg Relations be gettin' an extension fer their projects.

Professors Calendar, Sidle, Jackson, and Maclay be holdin' office hours, as be Principal Bristow 'n Dean Jerusalem.

In the library, Lee be droppin' off Christmas cookies, Cam be bringin' back his book 'n chattin' wit' Parker, and Professor Cregg be droppin' off a fruit 'n cheese basket. It be amazin' that the library wenches be keepin' their figures. And speakin' o' library wenches, Rory be the latest t' join in their reign o' terror over the books.

Aziraphale be seen goin' into the clinic in the mornin' and Doctor Wilson be bringin' Doctor House a snowball in the afternoon. No word as to what manner o' injury the snowball be havin', though.

Roomin'
Sonia be gettin' flowers, Draco be back t'be bein' a blond again (Lily be happy), and Talkytoaster 'n his new boyfriend, Haiku Santa, be hittin' on anythin' that be comin' past them. Which seemed t'be most of the campus, unfortunately. The people who should be watchin' these menaces at last be noticin' that they be missin',

Lee, Lane, Faith 'n I be gettin' Secret Santa gifts today. *sounds of squawking* Yes. That's where Will be comin' from. Aren't ye grateful? He be comin' wit' a pear tree, too. So if ye see one wanderin' around campus...well, ye won't. Because trees be not able t'walk.

Maia 'n Lana be talkin' about Shep, Jake, Krycek, Angela 'n Chloe be talkin' about the missin' students, and Chiana 'n Maia be talkin' about Christmas plans in some place called Seattle.

Thar be a massive snowball fight in front of the dorms. Half the school and a goodly portion o' their animals be out gettin' wet 'n silly. Other, smarter, warmer, drier, people be watchin' Galaxy Quest in the common room.

Paige be none too happy wit' the column that Phoebe be writin' in the paper today, and Veronica be callin' her father 'n talkin' wit' Chloe about Angel's free pass into their room.

Revelin'
Fencin' Club be cancelled tonight.

Sonia be lookin' fer Aaron over at Red's, Professor Methos 'n Janet be at the Perk together, and Darla 'n Lilah be talkin' about fluffy bunnies 'n clouds at Wolfram & Hart. Or so I be guessin' because those two would certainly not be up t' anythin' at all nefarious.

Aaron be talkin' t' Ben about carollin', Professors Maclay and Dream, the Doctor 'n Aziraphale be gettin' Secret Santa gifts, 'n Sonia be deliverin' a gift fer Tonks.

Yazoo be seen goin' into Blood Gulch Arms, Professor Cregg be noticed goin' down t' visit Linkin', Blinkin' 'n Nod, Alanna 'n Deb be talkin' about gender-bendin', and Belthazor be in the Fourth Sin, where he be assurin' everyone that Angelus were not his boyfriend. I be not sure anyone be askin', but it be good t'get that out there, I suppose.

Duce be posin' fer Jake, Aaron be cleanin' his apartment, and Jack Harkness be talkin' about his new family wit' Jarod at Caritas.

Thar be a giant snowball fight in town, as well, with Aziraphale 'n Doctor Wilson, Kiki 'n Tonks gettin' in on the action, and a bunch o' others gettin' the same idea a little later. Han, even as a wench, be havin' a good time wit' the fight.

Spike's be hoppin' tonight. Tex be stoppin' in fer whiskey. She be stayin' to have a tense discussion 'n a business transaction wit' Lilah. Lilah be talkin' lawsuits 'n underage drinkin' wit' Spike, too. Belthazor 'n Kadaj be talkin' karaoke, and Belthazor 'n Spike be talkin' Angel. That be troublin'.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer the Rover, who be havin' quite the lovely SnowRover out on the quad in his honor, and have a good night!

This be likeguidelines, bringin' ye all the news that be fit t'broadcast and plenty o' talk about underthings as well on this Monday in Fandom.

Readin', Writin', 'Rithamatic
Cyborg Theory be workin' on their stories, Art Appreciation be readin' Green Eggs 'n Hamlet, Celtic Literature be learnin' a mighty fine tale about the Hound o' Ulster, and Anthropology be learnin' about population genetics. I be wishin' I knew what that meant.

Egyptian Archaelogy be long 'n borin', Language classes be learnin' languages, Journalism be talkin' about frustratin' mornings, and Geology be learnin' somethin' about datin'. Datin'? I could use some help with that.

In Study Hall, which be quite festively decorated wit' certain people's underthings, Belthazor be studyin' 'n canoodlin' wit' Phoebe. Things be back t'normal. Angela also be talkin' with Phoebe. But no canoodlin', sadly. Callisto, not noticin' that her underthings be up fer God 'n all her classmates to ogle, be talkin' to Aeryn about the pageant she's goin' to be in. Callisto, that is, not Aeryn. Callisto also be talkin' to Cameron about the pageant. Then Aeryn 'n Cameron be talkin' about Callisto, and Verucananders be pickin' up thar underthings (very sneaky thar, Veruca).

Professor Cregg be teachin' her students about non-verbal communication in Speech class by stompin' around 'n glarin', Doctor Grissom be talkin' about gun crimes 'n mass graves, that fun-lovin' guy, the History substitute be talkin' about Martin Luther 'n Korea, and the Doctor be lettin' his Quantum Physics students watch a movie.

In the library, Marty 'n Janet be speakin' about Thanksgivin' weekend, as are Rory 'n Sam, Sam 'n Janet be talkin' Professor Jackson—or "Idiot Boy" as they refer to him--, Rory 'n Parker be becomin' roommates, and autographed CDs o' Zero's band be passed around. Speakin' of gifts, Professor Methos be bringin' presents back fer the Library Wenches. Rory be apologizin' to Cam about her reaction t'him at the clinic and Aeryn 'n Parker be makin' threat assessments about life in Fandom post-Angelus. Huh. I think I need t'lay off watchin' so much FoxNews, thar.

Professor Cregg and Dean Bristow be holdin' office hours, and Professor Maclay be allowin' her students t'hand in makeup work. That be mighty ethical of her. Arr, I crack meself up.

Aziraphale be visitin' Doctor Wilson at the clinic.

Roomin'
Elizabeth, Tara 'n Lily be gettin' flowers, Janet be over at Professor Jackson's apartment, and Angel be officially moved into Crichton's room. Speakin' of movin', Rory be down on the second floor now as well, much to the surprise o' her roommate. Rory be havin' a bad dream, poor thing.

Rover be out on patrol, Belthazor be callin' Lindsey, and Angela 'n Phoebe be seen goin' into an empty classroom together. Dirty. Speakin' of dirty, Lee 'n Kara be gettin' hot 'n heavy in his room. Anders be gettin', um, depressed over homework? Snap out of it, man!

Shep 'n Wesley be chattin' in thar room, Boone 'n Paige be talkin' Christmas presents in a common room, and Cameron be makin' cake in yet another common room. It be the same room where Beka-who-be-a-hamster be residin' under a couch. Thar be much squealin'. Not in a good way, sadly.

Thar be a self-defense class on Wednesday evenin' fer anyone who be interested.

Revelin'
The Swashbucklin' Club be watchin' the Princess Bride, some manner of instructional video, tonight.

Professor Quayle 'n Mayor Red be makin' wit' the small talk, Tonks 'n Wonka (or be it Wonks 'n Tonka?) be talkin' candy, and Chewbacca 'n Spike be hangin' out at the pub.

At Red's, Paige be shoppin' fer Christmas presents and Aaron be not terribly concerned about hearin' thar be vampires in town. I still be terribly concerned thar be vampires in town, if anyone be keepin' track. Duce also be sayin' that she 'n Faith be married. Seriously? Do I need t'be sendin' some manner o' gift fer this occasion? Aziraphale also be stoppin' by t'discuss the new law in town. Who be gettin' a room at the hotel.

Allison be bitchin' that her husband be droppin' her kids off wit' no notice. She be leavin' them at home by themselves, though, t'go to Caritas. Thar be somethin' that be not trackin' with this, me thinks. Jarod 'n Lorne be talkin' about their weekends at the club, too.

At Deb's Shane be bringin' back presents fer Deb 'n meetin' Faithful, Han 'n Bagoas be eatin' spaghetti, Professor Jackson be stoppin' in fer dinner as well, and Jack Harkness 'n Shane be talkin' about bein' adopted siblings, which just goes to show how much be happenin' in the TARDIS that we be not tellin' ye about. Speakin' o' things that be awkward, Rogue be comin' in tonight too. Rogue who used-t'be-datin'-Shane, fer those of you keepin' track at home.

At Aziraphale's, Ben be stoppin' in t'read, Kiki be comin' in fer her shift, Jonathan be comin' in wit' gifts fer Aziraphale 'n Crowley from Vegas, and Duce be swingin' by t'share the joyful news of her nuptials wit' Faith 'n to call Crowley a "pimp daddy." I be assured that it be hysterical. And speakin' of hysterical, Crowley be not exactly thrilled wit' the new sheriff. Anythin' that be makin' Crowley not happy be makin' me want t'hide under me bed. In a terribly manly way, o' course.

That be all from the Crow's Nest. Keep an eye out fer the Rover, and have a good night!