[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Alright already! I'm here. What do you want from me? Acorns? Do squirrels eat acorns or is that a stereotype? Eh, I don't care. Hey, how ya doing? Hades, Lord of the Dead. Long time no see. Or hear as the case may be. Whatever. Let's get this over with. I have plans, okay?

Fiery fiery goodness )

Aaaaaaaaand that's it. Hallelujah, I'm outta here. Enjoy your summer, Fandom. It'll be over before you know it. What? You were expecting something witty? Get off my back. I'm saving my material for an appreciative audience."

[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Live from WTFH Pirate Radio studios in downtown Fandom, it's Friday night with your host, Hades!" *applause sound effect* "It's a night of goodbyes getting ready for tomorrow's hellos. That's right, new kids tomorrow. Hey squirrels, make sure there's plenty of booze for Vala. Anyway, let's get this over with.

Goodbyes, Drunk Squirrels and Plenty of Drama )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Hey look! I'm back. I'm sure you all missed me. Insert 'by this much' joke here. Anyway, we've got news, I have Doritos and...what else. Notes! There are notes. This is Hades on WTFH pirate radio, now with 100% less pirate and 100% more violence.

Bring on the news. )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Friday? Again? Seriously? What happened to Saturday through Thursday? Oh right, the Oprah marathon. It's that time again, boys and girls and other things that don't fall into those categories. This is Hades, Lord of the Dead, God of the Underworld and Cheese coming to you from WTFH pirate radio in the heart of downtown Fandom. Let's just do this, okay?

The murmurs of the masses are rumbling )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"I remembered why I hated Friday night shows. You all do more stuff that I don't care about than usual. Anyway, this is Hades, your host from down under bringing you the latest news and gossip and tawdry details of peoples' lives.

Decrees and Girlkissy and Chocolate, Oh My! )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"ALBATROSS! Get youuuur actually forget the albatross. There was never an albatross. Wasn't one. Ever. They're mythical creatures like the platypus and impolite Mounties. Live from the Pirate Radio studios in downtown Fandom, it's Friday night with me, your host, Vice Principal Hades, Lord of the Dead, snappy dresser and the nicest guy in the underworld.

The squirrels have been watching, so let's get this show on the road. )

And that's it! Wait. No, that's not it. Stop the presses! Wait for the squirrel to catch his breath! The latest news straight from the mainland, ladies and jerks, the newest addition to the Washburn/Winchester family has arrived safe and sound - Grace Elizabeth Winchester was born earlier tonight. The little tyke will be up and shooting things in no time.

Now that's it. Don't do anything stupid that'll ruin my weekend."
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Surprise! It's not Saturday, but it is Friday and I've commandeered WTFH pirate radio from the delightful dish, Vala Mal Doran. This is Hades on the air, bringing you the news, the gossip and all that jazz on National Barry Plodder Day.

That's not a real holiday? It is now. )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Spielberg is a genius. Take an island, throw some mortals in there, add some dinosaurs, stir it all up and voila, you get comedy gold! This is Hades on WTFH pirate dinosaur radio talking to you wherever you're hiding out tonight. Just remember, you're made of meat and their sense of smell is killer.

Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur! )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"It's Saturday already? Time flies when you're playing Texas Hold 'Em poker tournaments. This is Hades, your host in the afterlife and Saturday nights, and you're listening to WTFH pirate radio. Someone left snacks here. I may not need to eat, but they're here and they look good, so I'm eating them to spite you, snack-leaver, whoever you are.

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Yeah, so, it's that time again. WTFH pirate radio with me, your host in the afterlife and on Saturday nights, Hades.

School Life: We Don't Need No Classes, Let The [microphone feedback] Burn

Well, there was one class-type thing. Detention with tall, dark and surly, Kenpachi. Alec, Carol, Froggy, Annie, Eve, Adam, Little Bo Peep and Stormy McStormerson rescued a Princess. What ever happened to corporal punishment? Worked for centuries.

In the dorms, Little Bo Peep lost his sheep and found a roommate instead at a computer. Stormy McStormerson, the new town gigolo, picked up Little Jo Harvelle for a date. Hear that, mom? A date. With a gigolo. Poor girl's being led astray here.

Hey, whadda ya know, in the Third Floor Common Room it's Teddy's birthday party, courtesy of The Chad, because Teddy can't run his own party. Because he's a dog. I can't make this stuff up. Chad sulked at Robin about not having Teddy around to talk to. You can talk to him, he just can't talk back. Big difference. Annie came to prove that blondes do have more fun, Robin missed out on her reaction to puppy-Teddy which is sad or something. Little Bo Peep came to find his sheep and found the dog instead. Can't win 'em all. Charlie talked to Teddy. And Chad sure knew how to throw a party, because there was the usual fare of food, presents and miniature green frogs giving birthday wishes. If you rub his belly, he'll tell your fortune too.

The roof, the roof, the roof is surprisingly without emo. Adam was up there 'chillaxing' which is still my favorite word of the 21st century. Jim and Adam talked about school and classes. Keep that up and my listeners are gonna fall asleep out of boredom.

Fandom, Fandom, It's an Okay Town. The School is Up and the Causeway is Down

Certain unnamed individuals, unnamed because their names aren't on my notes, went to Baltimore. Bring me back some pretzals.

Ponytail's sister and The Great Namingo hung out at the beach and were generally dramaless, so just assume that there was a tornado or something and grief and drama and something that'll boost the ratings.

Josh and Vanna left town for greener pastures or places with better food.

Aaaand the usual places were open. Christian had the shift at the clinic. Malibu Ben opened Luke's which is now not owned by a guy named Luke. I'm not even sure it's a guy. Xander and Bridge were truly dismayed at the lack of meat in the diner. Ponytail and Malibu Ben talked about veggie burgers and the complete lack fo sense they make. Malibus Ben and Stacy talked Fish skateboarding and kebabs. And to think they might have demonspawn one day. Bouncy, kebab-eating demonspawn.

Groovy Tunes was open and Isabel and Anders came by to be all goody two-shoes. Gabriel opened the church and was bothered by Evie, but at least she brought food while being annoying. Al chillaxed at Book Haven and got a visit from The Great Namingo. Leo opened the Photo Hut and wait! Stop the press! Someone actually bought something! Roxas bought a camera. Excuse me while I sit here, stunned. There should be a celebratory parade or something. Oh, and the damp guy opened the post office and at Chilly Boulder Mel broke Zuko's brain by doing things with a spoon that would make the old Dean break down and cry.

The zombies attacked everyone with Stevie Nicks at Caritas. Death by bad music. Heck of a way to go. As usual, there was the stage, bar, lounge and a Mountie hitting on Jo's mom. Again, it's the hat, isn't it? And to end on a hushed note, Lucy's was all quiet bar Leo talking drinks with Setsuna.

That's it? That's it. You're killing me here. This is Hades on WTFH radio. Save your broadcasters from boredom. Do something interesting tomorrow. Goodnight!"
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Live from Fandom's own WTFH pirate radio, it's Saturday night with your host, the one, the only Haaaaadeeeeees! Hey, how ya doin?

Quiet Day )

Anyway, that's it, buzz off, go home, yadda. This is Hades on WTFH pirate radio signing off for another Saturday. Don't forget to tip your waitress."
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Guess what? Phones aren't reliable. Who would've guessed? This is Hades on WTFH Fandomy piratey radio. Anakin is a big flamer, I'll hit on whatever sister-in-law I want, Ellie you're on for breakfast and Malibu Stacy would like someone to braid her hair. But that's yesterday's news. Let's see what you filled your pointless lives with today.

School: It's Saturday, We Don't Need No Education

Aly was the leader of the pack in detention with Molly, Sabriel, Zuko and John Crichton filling the ranks.

Ronan the Barbarian and Little Bo Peep went running and Mac now without Cheese chillaxinated and you squirrels really need to stop making words up. Mikey and Malibu Ben talked about Malibu Stacy behind her back, Old Maid and the bride-to-be talked wedding plans. Change of plans, actually. Rory and Aeryn are now getting married. Everyone's invited! Even Anders even though the guy can't bake a cake without getting covered in batter and Charlie even though she's the new girl. It's an inclusive and tolerant wedding.

Willow was on the series of tubes in her room before Melakalaka demanded shelter. Valenteen went to see The Great Namingo before hightailing it outta here. Melakalaka and Zukovsky patrolled, kissed and then had a spat. Busy night.

Haha, okay, animal changes are still popular. Visa played with Seely the mutt in the Fourth Floor Common Room. Turns out species swaps don't change everything, because the mutt bit English Peter and threatened Farmboy Luke after he laughed at Visa's pink clothes. Don't listen to him, kid. I'm sure the pink is very flattering or fear-inducing.

The Fifth Floor Common Room was all about Ronan the Barbarian and his cupcakes of doom. Anders was in on the cupcake action, but his mind wasn't on the cupcakes while he talked about alchemy, magic and wizardy. Then Bel and licking. Urk. What happens when you mess with magic? Cupcakes explode. That's what. Let that be a lesson to you. If you don't concentrate, you'll waste baked goods and then the wrath of Jeff, God of Biscuits will be upon you.

Fandom, Fandom, It's A Decent Enough Town. The School is Up and the Causeway is Down

Alert the press! Wait, I am the press. Extra, extra, the movie theater was actually used. By Little Bo Peep and one of his sheep, Abigail. Barbossa was there for the piratey goodness and Stanley was there for the sugar high.

The Perk had a special performance by Ryan and Sharpay Evans. Sharpay. Seriously? She's named after a dog breed? Right, riiight. Charlie was in the audience and so was everyone's favorite I don't know what, Yitzhak. Charlie played the fangirl and got an autographed demo disc.

The usual places were open today. Al opened Book Haven and got a visit from Deadpool's favorite girl lover. Charlie opened Groovy Tunes, the damp guy opened the post office, the candle with the shiny pants opened Cafe Fina where Schroeder performed a little Classical and Romantic music and Malibu Ben opened Luke's. Visa stopped by to check on Malibu Ben for Malibu Stacy and aren't they just one big, happy, sugar-dripping family? Yeck.

Sheriff Mustang was at the Trooper Station and made a date with the delightfully devilish Emma Frost. May whatever god you make sacrifices to have mercy on your soul. Not me. I'm busy washing my hair.

Barbossa had his usual Saturday show, Wine, Wenches n' Song. People made song requests and asked advice. Can't have been too bad since the place is still in one piece. Score for Barbossa!

The clinic was pretty quiet. Christian worked on paperwork and Wilson didn't show up for work. Slacker.

The love of my life, Ellie, wasn't too keen on working at Caritas tonight. The zombies made up for the enthusiasm, Tino watched on in silence and the lounge went without customers.

And last but certainly not least, Lucy's was opened by Deadpool's minion. The bar was filled with anti-phone propoganda, Squall came along to drown his sorrows, Deadpool went looking for Malibu Ben and beer and there was a lounge and dance floor with techno remixes.

I hope they weren't playing the Hoff one.

And now, leaving you with thoughts of Techno Hoff, skimpy underwear and puppies all in one, this is Hades on WTFH radio signing off. Don't do anything too stupid without inviting me."
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Start spreading the news, this island's insane. I have to be a part of it, Fandom, Fandom. Or Fandom, Virginia. Or...whatever. This is WTFH radio, I'm Hades, your lives are all meaningless, but entertaining, so let's hear about it.

Another brick in the wall )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Ladies, gentlemen, mortals of all shapes and sizes, welcome to WTFH with your host Hades, god of the dead, lord of the Underworld, king of Texas Hold 'Em Poker and don't you forget it.

Blah blah blah )

And that's it from WTFH pirate Fandom radio. Don't forget that flag football, otherwise known as the even wussier version of regular American football begins tomorrow. Even if you weren't at the meeting on Thursday, you can still go. These guys sound pretty desperate. Go, play, put them out of their misery so I don't have to listen to it. Goodnight Fandom. Just say no to glitter."
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"So much for getting rid of the squirrels for good. This is Hades, God of the Dead, Lord of the Underworld, Disneyworld, Paris (they're all the same to me) here on WTFH Fandom radio. All pirate, all the time. Except tonight. Eyepatches don't look good on me and I'm not big on parrots.

Oh, you crazy mortals )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"You know the worst thing about being a god, Fandom? You can't get drunk enough. I mean sure, you can get drunk, well, a little tipsy, but never drunk enough. This is Hades, God of the Dead, Lord of the Underworld, Friday night disc jockey here on WTFH pirate radio.

New people, huh? Get out while you still can. I'm going to sing tonight.

New Kids on the Block )

And that's it! That's all from Hades, your buddy, your chum, your guide through the afterlife here on WTFH pirate radio. This might be my last broadcast, so if so, good riddance and goodnight!"
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Ladies, gentlemen, firebreathers, tentacled beings from Rafastus Four, parents, guardians, siblings who were dragged away from the television, other people who are just here for a good time, this is the one and only WTFH radio, the pirate's own, with your Friday night host with the most, Hades. Yep, God of the dead, lord of the Underworld, your soul put in a pit for eternity in thirty minutes after death or your money back.

Let's get on with the news before I give myself a hernia with all the enthusiasm.

Class: Some of Us Have It, None of You Do. Just Accept It

School's over, kids. Get out, enjoy the sunshine, engage in normal mortal activities. When the apocalypse comes, I'll let you know.

Broodatron 4000 posted grades and had office hours, my lovely assistant Vanna had office hours. The Hell Spawn, Animal Boy, Madam President, Fandom Idol and Receding Hairline Man all stopped by. My old buddy Scar had office hours and was tormented by the Hell Spawn, Cooking Spray, If Looks Could Kill, A Pink Kitten, Old Maid and her even older grandparents. Sounds like a blast.

Dorms: Where Your Kids Are Living Out Their Celibate Existence. Really.

There aren't any common room stories to tell today because you were all busy instead of being your usual lazy selves. Jack told Cedric he's ditching him for bigger and better things. The Hell Spawn whose surname isn't Harvelle is outta here and he didn't even have to be expelled. Willow has abandonment issues because of him, Gwynn's not above lying to keep the guy here (that's how you know when someone really cares), Don't Cry For Me Argentina talked to him about a road trip, English says farewell, Sayonara, Salamat whatever, Z's going to be the only person of the multiplying persuasion around now, the last sock puppet show went to Molly and New York Peter hasn't learned his lesson because he talked about blowing up Meerkat cabin. Hell Spawn and Marie were awkward and said goodbye.

Tori was 'chillaxing' whatever that means. No, wait, I got it. I'm hip. I get it. John Connor was where he always is, right in the shower. Red's little lesbian lived up to her name and woke up with Ami, Jake's Dad might kill people according to Jake's conversation with Krycek, D'anna emailed and John Connor got down and dirty with a member of the clergy. Someone's fallen into a bad habit.

Pam lied to Jim about never drinking again, D'anna wandered away from the party I'll talk about later, Jack tried to get Cedric out of his pants for apparently but not believably undirty reasons and later he wandered off to talk to some guy during the party.

Town: Party Central of the Not-Entirely-There East Coast Islands

Red didn't have enough of teaching and decided to try his hand at teaching Vanna and Arashi to drive. I haven't got a call requesting bail yet, but who knows?

Tannim left town and so did Jamie Madrox aka Hell Spawn. More partying! Al...there's that word again. Al was 'chillaxing' at the Book Haven, Leapin' Liz opened the Post Office and Buffy opened the Magic Box. Luke's Diner had a Rufus Wainwright day, there was a swordfighting angel in the Park, the doctor watched, Kira was impressed...by the swordwork and Tori talked summer plans.

Rosette was out of her habit and into John Connor. Not dirty. Maybe. Turtle & Canary are always open to making a profit off the needs of tourists and Xander opened YMCA. Bridge went to find him, M's moving out, the new sheriff commiserated over the eyepatch wearing thing and Parker was there doing something.

Rory waited for her family at the Perk, alumni Logan (not teacher Logan) learned all about Yale's libraries and didn't commit seppuku, Rory met Jake's Dad, then the family arrived and complained. Leo took a page out of Turtle's book with the exploitation and Jaye's family were at JGOB. Everyone wisely stayed away.

The new owners of the Arms Hotel checked people in. Okay, deep breath. There were MacGyver, Jake's Dad and freaky friend, Angel, Logan and Sean, the Naughty Nun, Captain Jack Harkness, Sydney Lavert, the Grandma, Grandpa and Lorelai Gilmore, Mom, Dad and Rat Bastard Hopeless-Savage, three shady looking guys under the name Conte, Emo Angela's friends, Chloe Sullivan, Piper Halliwell and Callisto.

The clinic was quiet and Caritas staff claimed not to sell liquor to minors. Hamlet was there with his dead father and a color-coded cavalcade showed up for a good time.

Ain't no party like a Fandom High party, 'cause a Fandom High party don't stop until a week later when slowplay has to end

Courtesy of last year's Seahorse cabin, the most promiscuous cabin in all of la-di-da Fandom land...you know, I don't know what I'm saying. I think you've all made my brain turn gelatinous from this drivel. Let's get it over with. There was a party!

There was a tiny pink kitten frolicking in the sand and I'd be happy never to use the word 'frolicking' ever again. Parker talked to it and it's apparently Zero. Rat, Zero's brother with parents who rival Rory Gilmore's in the stupid name stakes, recognized her. Angela introduced her friends around, Logan Echolls got half-naked and Angel and Jack enjoyed the view. Angel and Logan called Parker 'Mom' and 'Babymomma' but I'm not seeing any reports of brutal stabbings, so it could be a lie. Zero-kitty attacked Angel's ankle, but the rest of him was busy being Captain Obvious. D'anna and Jack preened at each other, Logan and Anakin accomplished not killing each other and Jack did the meet and greet thing with Summer, before Summer went to talk to Tori. Billy talked to Tori, Rose told Jack he's shameless (another Captain Obvious) and Irulan was glad shirtlessness was optional. Parker made fun of Irulan's crazy hat. Like you can talk Parker. Those shoes? Yeah.

Jack met Naomi for the first time, Kyo lurked, Lindsey is all about equal opportunity nudity, Molly told Jack and Logan about Ray leaving. D'anna gave the underaged girl alcohol, Rory's grandparents were scandalized, D'anna found Ben, John welcomed MacGyver back. Back?

Dean and Alec decided they were sexy, sexy beasts and I'm never saying those words again either. Alec and Annie talked about being five, MacGyver greeted Bridge, Stark and Zhaan chewed the fat, Kawalsky was surprised to see his buddy Ferretti and introduced him to Alanna and Sam (the blonde leggy one) was surprised to see Ferretti as well. Surprises all around!

MacGyver and Jack talked all about leggy Sam, Xander was uncertain with MacGyver. MacGy...I'm calling you Mac. He then congratulated leggy Sam on getting a job with the Phoenix Foundation. Ferretti thought Mac was someone else, Jack made Lau go shirtless and Parker asked Lau about Jake's Dad's whereabouts.

Doctor Whatshisname was there and got promised a dance by Jack, Rose tried to get him to take his shirt off and according to thin cheerleader girls dancing and eating at the same time is a good idea. Billy and River waved at each other, Jay and Silent Bob were doing some dealings of their own and Billy explained to Jack how he got beat up by Blair.

I think maybe Billy met Jay and Silent Bob before he came up with that one.

Jack and Cedric were all about the public displays of affection, then the charmer greeted Chloe. Chloe and Piper regaled tales of old, Jack appreciated Luke's sleevelessness, Luke complained about the cold, Luke and Tori have UST, a well-known acronym disease, and Annie told Leo he should skinny dip. Annie has also been into whatever Jay and Silent Bob were offering.

Jack complimented Isabel, Steve Peter and Isabel talked about parents and Fandom and...sewers. Whatever. Jack gave Steve Peter the 'don't hurt Isabel' talk. Get those glitter flags going, crazy people. Sydney didn't go shirtless. Everyone rejoiced. Isabel doesn't want to know about Xander's frog kinks. Is it a green thing? Xander thanked D'anna for the party, Bridge was clingy, Annie ogled Jack and wanted to get Billy drunk. Tori couldn't wait for her posse to show up, Dick has size issues, Skinhead gave Krycek trouble, Krycek then caught up with Chloe. New York Peter got the parental grilling from Zero's Mom and Dad, Marty met up with his pal and Angela's friends, the Winchesters Sam and Dean talked about the Seahorse spirit. Yeah, that's using the term lightly and D'anna asked Hamlet the age-old question: is that a remote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

It was a remote.

Moving on. There was swimming! River went fully-clothed and Jack was there to swim with her. Big Bill with a Y and Ami sat on the edge of the water, Cedric and River gave me ample opportunity to make a joke about their names and Cedric threatened to turn Isabel into a sock. Not a tu...no, I'm not going there.

Music and dancing were a big part of the party. Parker and River were giant dorks, the bar was ever-popular and my nephew hit on D'anna. Jay of the notorious hetero life mate Jay and Silent Bob group tried to get Chloe to go shirtless.

There was food glorious food, complete with River and Buffy playing vampire slayers with the skewers and Wilson and Aziraphale talking about ch-ch-changes.

Eeeeeverybody Limbo! Chick-chicka-boom. Isabel explained it to Scar's kid and Scar, his kid and Isabel talked about gremlin limbo. You lose, you get bitten?

It was bonfire night in Fandom. Jack and Sam snuggled by the fire pushing me over my acceptable saccarine intake levels for the month, Aeryn and John talked about playing doctor, Jay of Jay and Silent Bob, not crazy girl, hit on Annette. Leo and Silent Bob shared a pipe.

Fireworks! I was wondering what that noise was. Bubble wrap or something. You can never have enough fireworks. Maybe more tomorrow. More fireworks! Steve Peter offered Isabel his jacket while they watched the fireworks, D'anna talked to some guy named Ben about family and then everyone went home. Eventually. Except me. I'm still here, reporting, not a sandwich in sight. I could really use a sandwich about now. You! Squirrel! Get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Ack, no! Get off me you little furball! Gah! This is OW! Hades mother- garr on WTFH dear Zeus make it stop radio." Silence. "There. Don't mess with a god. This is Hades on WTFH radio. Good riddance, graduates, and get ready for what's set to be a tedious graduation ceremony as these things usually are. See you tomorrow, and try not to break anything."

[Party section title courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] krycek_rat]
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Hey, whadda ya know, it's that time again. I woulda been here earlier, but you know, I had things to do, like beating the boss on a video game and other important stuff. Anyway, let's see what's new in the mortal world this glorious, glorious Friday night. Friday? Already? I hope it's a quiet weekend.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

In fact, most of you don't. Because you're not me. Try to work through the pain.

Numero Uno, or the Big Chief, the Boss, the Lady in Charge, the Hostess with the Mostest, our very own Zoe 'I want pickle ice cream and I want it now' Washburn gave people detention. That's Katara, Malibu Stacy, Ponytail, Dick who doesn't need a witty nickname, Marco, Annie, Little Jo Harvelle, the Fandom Idol, Santa Claus, Billster, Crichton's Clone, Seasonal, Crazy Little Rabid Girl, Hornhead and the girl who has an Eric Clapton song named after her. Enjoy. You all deserve it. Especially Jo.

US Government had their final, but didn't overthrow it, because that'd be Revolutions. Music is Love had their last lovefest with the big green guy. Closing numbers were sang, probably along with some letters in there too and as I let slip before, the 2007 Fandom Idol is none other than Molly Hayes. Short. Pink hat. You know the voters loved her.

Villains and Villainy said goodbye and faced off with their final foe. I hear there was a Communist egg involved. I read the notes. I don't meddle in these things. And the last class of the year, it's Adventuring Survival Tactics or, as it should've been named, 'how to irritate higher beings and not die'. Lana was too busy playing with her panther to pay attention and Jack turned in his make-out work. No...make-up. Right.

Then there was the assembly. With cheerleaders. I don't know if there was a cheerocracy or a cheertator, but now I want tater tots. There was mingling and a stiffly formal coach. Seely checked her out. One more week before you hit on the teachers, kid, please. Save me the paperwork. Parker was also checking out the coach and now everyone knows she swings that way. Fandom Idol was more interested in brain damage. There was cheering and an audience. Bel tries to convince people he doesn't notice the short skirts. Hah! Yeah. Okay. There was...I'm not using that word. There was throwing and an impressed audience and lots and lots and lots, no really, lots of glitter. And boykissy that we get every day of the week anyway. Coach Aly didn't like the flowers. Maybe she thought Buffy was hitting on her.

Everybody's favorite future failure, Rory Gilmore opened the library. And it seems that that wasn't enough action for her today, so she stopped by the office hours of her best pal Scar and the love that will never be, Broodatron 4000. She neglected Elliot. I think the squirrel left an emo tear. And a picture apparently, and turns out Jo's mom likes New Kids on the Block, but it's sadly been burned to a crisp.

Anyone for char-grilled squirrel?

Dorms: Locking People in is a Fire Hazard and a Relationship Tool

There were a lot of people in bed today. Slackers. Madrox the mad mystery passed out, Kawalsky was up early. Apparently because he didn't count sheep-Jamies, thank you drunk squirrel. Sam and Jack snuggled. Okay, not so many people, but it looked like there were at first.

Jack was out for a run, healthy young thing man boy he is. River brought breakfast. Annette couldn't resist sucking up and then playing with her Wii. I will own you at Wii baseball. Just sayin'. Cally had an emergency and talked detention with Summer. Setsuna was in the Salle and there was UST with Ami. In Japanese. Does it come with subtitles?

Malibu Stacy is up to no good. Fear for your puny mortal lives. Luke and Malibu Stacy discussed skeevy fathers and shooting people, Luke and Isabel moved on to talking about class. It's over. GET OVER IT. Summer! Summer is good. Geeks. Dawn brought doughnuts and boyfriend advice, then talked to Luke about how heroes get no respect. Consider a career change. Malibu Stacy made out with Isabel and then Door joined in. No, really. Hamlet brought chocolate, the tall scruffy Winchester under 18 discussed back-up and Hermione studied. On a Friday. Or something. There was a plan, people who should've been fearing for their lives decided to talk instead, decided on a course of action and now you're all in big, big trouble.

Jaye is now a matchmaker. She locked Kawalsky and Alanna in her room to make them talk things out. Or kill each other. I like gladiators. She recruited...no, sorry, bribed Madrox to serenade them with Earth Angel from that movie that one time with the timelines. There was talking and happy couples, sorta, and release from captivity. And no one got killed. So not like gladiators at all really. I'm disappointed.

Town: There Isn't Enough Alcohol in the Multiverse to Get You Outta Here Sane

Town! Right. Christian and Natalie earn their keep by doing absolutely nothing in the clinic. Good work ethic.

Lucy's Place is full of life with Setsuna and Ami talking without subtitles and The Hippy drinking tequila and talking to the underaged bartender. That's gonna end well.

Alphonse and Setsuna, who's all over the place today, opened Book Haven. There were falling books and some inappropriate touching. The Post Office was around courtesy of Liz, Sir Alianne swung a sword around in the Park, Turtle's delivery service was in full swing for Red and aww, I think Sir Alianne likes Red. She didn't call him a gay servant. But there's something about being from Goldenlake? Or maybe Goldenlake's a new club in town or...whatever. I need to get out more. Sir Aly thinks Turtle is a page. No, a reptile. Billster was impressed by the sword practice and Kawalsky looked like he's never seen a teacher go crazy before. Lana gave Jim-Panther a bath. Kinky. Leo woke up on a bench nearby. Tex has left the building. Throw a party! Or commiserate. Whatever your thing is. And Red is emo. Aww. Next time you see him, give him a hug. I dare you.

Caritas was the place to be. Well, I don't know about *the* place, but it was *a* place. Marty and Angela talked finals, Red delcared his love for My Little Ponies to Angela. Apparently they're manly. Yeah, like Teletubbies. Aly's back to normal! Hooray for Vanna. She got drunk, talked to Red and then had a touching moment with...wait, her Dad's in town. Yep, with her dear old pappy Dad. GOB and Red talked about being hit on by female zombies.

I think that's a perfect way to end the show. Goodnight, farewell, have a QUIET, uneventful weekend and try not to think too hard about GOB going on a date with a zombie. That way lies madness."
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"This is Hades, God of the Dead, Lord of the Underworld, here on WTFH radio a day early. I missed you all so much. Yeah. That's it. Let's get this over with.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

Mystical Artefacts, otherwise known as the discarded toys of the gods, had a sub teacher and a movie. I had a date like that once. Jo Harvelle, otherwise known as my indentured slave, told Dean about how she inconvenienced me yesterday. Don't forget to bring a sewing kit.

The Gods and You, as taught by my illustrious and sexually perverted nephew, had a review session. Annie sulked at Waistcoat Guy, then threw paper wads at Peg Leg Ninja. Then Malibu Stacy sucked up to Ares for a better grade and talked about gods and tearing holes in reality. My advice - get a new hobby.

Anatomy reviewed and Marty wanted to go over the reproductive system again. This isn't news, he's a teenage boy. Chad needed the birds and the bees story again.

Space Cadet Class reviewed, Drama Geeks worked on their projects, Future Dropkicks of America played their own music and Science!, the only class with special punctuation, baked.

The Horse With No Name, Drama Queen and The Divine Ms M had office hours.

Media Lackeys R Us met and got their assignments while Broodatron 4000 watched on. And took his shirt off. Wait, no, that was the squirrel's wishful thinking. Dirty little freaks.

The library was open, and there's no Old Maid to speak of today, but the glove committee met to talk about stuff I don't care about.

Dorms: Now With 100% More S'mores

The lobby got a work out today thanks to Malibu Stacy and her cookies. Steve Peter had a crappy day, but Isabel made it aaaaall better if you know what I mean. Annie got the whole story about the breaking of time and space, Cassie was there to talk about bratty kids, Ponytail complained about the free food but took some anyway, Tori who I haven't come up with a nickname for yet talked about traffic cones and Isabel and Malibu Stacy made the squirrels cry tiny squirrel emo tears. In the meantime, Squirrely Hair Girl spazzed out, Wholesome Broody Kid Shawn was impressed and somewhere not in the lobby, Nadia and Waistcoat Guy played with their food. Didn't anyone ever teach you that's rude?

Second Floor Common Room got Pam. See Pam. See Pam bark. Bark, Pam, bark. Crazy Hat Lady came in and gave her a belly rub and some liver treats.

Fifth floor common room got Annie, who tried to pretending she wasn't watching Skinemax. The late great John Connor complimented Annie on her taste and told her that he's going straight to Hell. See you there. I'll save you a seat.

Third Floor Common Room, because doing these things in order is so passe, thought she was Marie Antoinette, Queen of all France. Off with her head! Katara joined her highness for hot chocolate and some guillotine action.

And back to the lobby, where the Proud Republican and Tory Students and friends had Fandom Feud, the game show that doesn't make sense. Team One, who all have detention as soon as I get around to it, were Madrox, Rikku and Red. They had to guess the Top 10 Most Popular TV Shows in Fandom. Maude didn't cut it. Red cried. Then came Top 10 Ways to Annoy Hades. Half of the answers were standing right there.

Team 2 was John Connor on his own. A one man team who guessed Top 10 Worst Places in Fandom to End Up Naked. He must have had experience, because he gave GPS coordinates.

team 3 was Ponytail, who guessed wrong the Top 10 Weetiny Animals that might invade. He got punched. Malibu Stacy got detention. Red got threatened and had his love life questioned by another man in red.

Team 4 was Annie and yesterday's radio Princess Jaye. Top 10 Teachers Who Will End Up in Jail for them. Red boasted. Fraser was gentlemanly. Annie blushed about Ares' tower.


John Connor's getting a lot of action today, and none of the fun stuff, because he had a coffee bath alone. Good for the skin. Wait, no, Liz interrupted. Or maybe that was later. Naomi was invited in...or maybe that was later as well. There was talk of the little brats from the weekend. Squirrely Hair Girl got news from home, Jack took a long walk off a short pier, Dances with Prada made a phone call.

Cally snooped around Teddy's travel plans if you know what I mean, Ami emailed the chess geeks, Aeryn sulked like a baby, Setsuna snorted glitter and Ami studied like the wind.

I don't know how wind studies. It thinks everything is a breeze.

Town: Insert Clever Pun Here To Cover the Groaning From That Last Line

Haha. Scar, otherwise known as my new pal Anakin Skywalker, was talking to himself. A lot. With hand gestures. Possibly kissy faces. Is there a shrink in the house?

The angel and the doctor talked about Lucy, who I still haven't met. Wonder why that is? Huh. The Divine Miss M sent an email, Stanley made lunch, the Hippy is throwing a party - Saturday night, be there. Hippies throw great parties.

Luke's was opened by Malibu Stu, Hannelore opened OCD 4 U, some guy I've never heard of opened Sanctity, Nun Town was open and some guy named Remington was there. So was John Connor. T&C was open to sell glitter to my old pal Rory Gilmore.

Katara opened the Post Office and had 16 children. No, wait. What? The Chad mailed things. He's leaving town, in case you're nosy. Katara ate hot dogs and then they both did the Monster Mash.

No, wait. What? Gah, squirrels.

Ami opened the Magic Box, Lana opened Book Haven, the Perk was innuendo central around breakfast time and Candlestick Guy opened Cafe Fina. BridgenXander, which sounds like an exotic disease that everyone should be innoculated from stopped in for dinner, Ponytail wanted to know what was with the lemurs and Hamlet, king of the color black, wanted to know about special bookings.

Down at Ye Olde Waste of Money Clinic, Boy Wonder - sorry, DOCTOR Boy Wonder - watched TV and Kyo showed him his cast. If you know what I m...no, that's over done now. At Caritas, Phoebe was drinking on the job, Anders was making excuses to use on teachers, and then they done personal displays of affection. Then Phoebe switched to laying the lip smackdown on Bel. I'm not commenting on Phoebe's promiscuity. It's too easy.

At Lucy's House of Love, Neil cleaned and studied and Kabuto offered to help.

And we're out. This is Hades. This is Fandom. No more kids this weekend or I'm putting contraceptives in the water supply!"
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
[OOC: Coming to you from Supanova convention in shiny Brisbane, Australia, it's [livejournal.com profile] ismyhairout and [livejournal.com profile] time_agent waving at all of Fandom High! Hi!]

Hades: "Ladies, gentlemen, worms of all shapes and sizes, live from Fandom Radio, it's Friday night! Where's the fanfare? The night life? This is Hades, god of the dead and radio, here with my co-host and his pearly whites, Jack Harkness. Kid, I work comedy alone. You can be the straight man."

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

Jack: Uhhm yeah. That's it. Straight man. )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Hot on the heels of Fandom Peril! it's your favorite host, Hades, here on WTFH radio on Good Friday. I don't know what's so good about it, but I'm here. With a chicken." Bergok! "It wants me to inform you all that it's a funky chicken. Don't try to make sense of this place. You'll only hurt yourselves."

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

The lady who likes pickle ice cream gave a shout out to everyone who has detention tomorrow.

US Government learned about the two forms of government that no one cares about. Music is Love did TV theme songs."

*plays the Bitterwoman theme song*

"Villains and Villainy had an alien robot attack. There aren't enough life or death situations in classrooms these days. And Adventuring Blah Blah learned about redemption and irredeemable evil. Interesting."

Assembly was a waste of everyone's brain cells. There was a play by The Tick and his troupe of volunteer suckers. The suckers got into costume, the audience brought cameras. I'll take 'Blackmail Material' for 1200.

Act I had two siblings, a troll, lost bagpipes, hairstyle swapping, fights, found bagpipes and broken bagpipes. I'm getting the feeling that bagpipes were the talk of the town. The audience were confused out of their mind.

Act II had the hero's true love, monkeypox which can only be cured by - you guessed it - bagpipes, a monkey-hunting sheriff, apples, light monkey bondage and someone cruelly named Serendipity. The audience were still confused, except those who watch soap operas, who are used to this kind of thing.

Act III introduced the Scooterina family: Terrance, Wilma Lou, Macgillina and fifteen other children. Terrance and Wilma Lou don't get out much. There was hot dog eating, cow pornography, more bagpipes, wide hips, contendahs, insane parents and, bagpipe fixing, male pregnancy threats and horrible disfiguration. Now we're talking. So were the audience. The ones that were still conscious, that is.

The office was open and there were office hours for Cherry Blossom, Red, Barbie, Vanna, Lycra and Scar.

And, of course, the Old Maid opened the library. Malibu Stacy and Teacher Spice took pity on her and stopped by to talk.

Self-Defense met, asked questions, got down and sweaty and the Principal's boyfriend was there, watching. Creepy.

Student Council, the mockery of modern democracy, talked about prom, not prom and Receding Hairline Man.

And in other news, Tyler was lurking the halls and probably up to no good.

Dorms: No Buzzers Allowed

The roof, the roof, the roof wasn't on fire, but Billy was up there with binoculars. Pervert. Tori told him something weird was going on in Fandom. In other news, the Pope is Catholic.

Annette was lurking in the halls too. There might be a conspiracy going on. A lurking conspiracy.

The Fourth Floor Common Room had a Japanese lunch extravaganza and karaoke bar thanks to Ami. John Connor took advantage of Ami. Or the food. Whatever.

Alec and Hunter fought for the glorious prize of yarn. Dean watched and talked about decency laws which apparently don't apply if you're pretty or Deadpool.

Emoanders was nuzzled by a sugar glider, Parker warned him to hide. Possibly because River was looking at knives and fountain pens.

Emo demon was frozen but Parker embarassed him out of it. Chad and Teddy talked about weirdness in Fandom and how grass is green unless you live in a drought-plagued area. Ami sent email, Cedric Diggory got company in the form of Herman's girlfriend, Bel watched Lana, Phoebe and Marie get it on.

Katara ran away like a girly girl to Teddy. Jack and Sam were happy about something. Too happy, if you ask me. Madrox, who's not the Taco Bell mascot anymore, asked Marie, who's now a lesbian or something, to prom.

Lana who, rumor has it, has had an interesting week, was woeful and went to see Jim to cheer herself up. Booty call is the answer! Gwynn had a fashion crisis and woke up Conner. Phoebe and Bel hid in their room away from the weirdness of Fandom. Just think kids, graduation isn't far away. Flee from the madness when you can! Flee far, far away! Wyatt found himself in his aunt's boyfriend's boyfriend's bed. Someone call Jerry Springer.

Last year's Seahorse cabineers threw a party. I wasn't invited. Elitists. Sam C and Jaye talked blowtorches and booze. Sam W brought junk food. Jaye and Jack discussed running for mayor. There was more drinking. Annette wanted to learn about body shots. Jaye introduced her to syphilis instead. That's way more than I ever wanted to know. Yeck.

Dawn was embarassed. She fixed that by mocking Dean. Jaye tried to get Old Maid drunk enough to drunk dial. Don't call me. Dean showed up shirtless. He was still mocked. Better work on those abs, kid. Alec showed up with five pounds of pixie stix. Someone call the clinic.

Angela gatecrashed, Jack introduced everyone to edible body paint and gave Dawn and Annette a tattoo. Old Maid was a spoil sport and refused to get shirtless. Dawn and Sam W wooed. Annette will learn tomorrow never to combine Cheetos and whiskey and apparently she's a bad influence, because her idea of body shots caught on.

Town: Ninjas, Pirates, Zombies and Pie.

The Magic Box was opened by Buffy, who laid some golden eggs. Liz opened the Post Office but didn't lay eggs. John Connor stopped in to talk superpowers. Eeesh. Heroes. Al opened the book store with the ridiculous name. There was hot chocolate involved. It was Tori Amos Day at Luke's Diner. I don't know what that means, but I think my ears are bleeding. Sparky's was opened late and yet there was no firing. No firing makes me sad.

There was a sandvalanche at the Photo Hut. Someone should probably dig the hippy out. Evie and Jack had ice cream and Ray and Molly played pool at Fast Eddie's.

It's a slow night in sleepy Fandom town.

The clinic had Wilson and the angel during the day and Lambert at night.

An illusionist, a Doctor. and a banana daiquiri walked into a bar. Caritas was open.

Sakurazaki is a wench according to the squirrels. And she opened the Devil's Nest. Al joined her to drown his sorrows.

Yeah. So, business as usual. Don't trust any giant rabbits that might show up this weekend bearing chocolate. The chicken says the rabbits want to eat your toes."


[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"This is Hades radio. All Hades, all the time. The big cheese. The man. The fella with the flames. You know the one. Me! On to the news.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

US Government talked about the courts, age limits and missing out on class. If you miss out on class to go to a strip club while you're underage, you'll end up in court. Or fined. Whatever.

Music is Love did the soundtrack for Valenteen's movie. Valenteen was the judge. Where's his latte? People sang.

Villains and Villainy looked for a mutineer. There was booze, not so fast ships and charming rogues. Alanna and Z skipped class last week to go to a strip club.

Adventuring Survival Tactics did martial arts. Pippi was a nuisance.

Assembly was cancelled on account of socks and Zoe called the detention list. Dick, Billy, Mac, Liz, Dean and Sam W. Have fun with the masked menace.

Self-Defense did their thing and the Student Council talked prom, not prom and Josh. Committees are useless. Vote dictatorships!

The old maid with the crazy name opened the library. Jack with a moustache stopped by to throw books and eat post-its.

Scar had plenty of office hours visitors, I didn't and the office had a dance machine.

Dorms: Could Do With Some Redecorating

Jack was Robert Goulet. He threw Annie's groceries down the hall, tossed Evie's notes out the window, picked Rikku's pockets and broke Angela's schoolbag.

I like this guy.

Fourth Floor Common Room was the Bitterwoman common room for Jake and his coffee. Mac wanted coffee too. I want coffee.

The Danish Chef made brunch on floor number two. I thought he was Swedish? Nnnnno Danish. He made deleeciuoos jepunese-a ceke-a. With a baseball bat. He got Luke to make borscht. With a sledgehammer. Donuts with a pistol. I'm assuming not a real one. Rikku became an apprentice chef and went to find a moose. Valentine got mariachi lubsters and Robert Goulet was offered leftovers but got the baseball bat instead. Fear him. Sokka got chickie-in-der-baskie, Zero got a labotomy and Evie wanted tea. Pfft. British.

Before he was Robert Goulet, Jack was a floozy and woke up with River. John and Aeryn broke each others' hearts. Dick and Annie were blonde. And cute. And I hear the Village of the Damned needs new tennants.

Nadia went to see Bridge and Chad, then Chad went to see Teddy. Exciting. Alec went to see Sam and then they went to see Papa Winchester. My nose says trouble's afoot. The rest of me thinks so too. Darn it squirrels, where's the gossip?

Billy freaked Ami out and Will and Teddy geeked out over comics. I'd make a good comic book character. Robert Goulet messed up Blair's room, Mac and Cally were all talk and no action, John and Aeryn were awkward (oooh burn) and Robert Goulet messed up Isabel's laundry.

I really like this guy.

Town: Insurance Premiums at an All-Time High

The beach. It was there. So were Jack and Cedric. And Nadia. And Walter. Oooh Nadia almost cheated on him. Ouch. Post Office is open. Aeryn, John, Jamie and Molly came back from being away. Turtle bought herself a birthday treat at JGOB. The Magic Box opened. The nun came to see what all the fuss was about, Mel looked for a present for Willow, Rikku was gleeful, Al opened the bookstore, Chris got a job, Leo opened the Photo Hut.

The clinic was quiet.

Caritas was the scene for Willow's birthday. There were presents and singing from Annie, Parker, Giles and Billy.

English Peter and Parker as in M Parker not Peter Parker talked running, Anders and Parker talked about the potential baby of doom that could be Anders or could be Belthazor's or could be...well, it's anyone's guess. Billy and Annie talked, Dick and Annie talked about bodyguards. Or guarding bodies. Something dirty.

Birthday Girl and Mr Birthday Girl were there. Naturally. There was talk of jello dragons and probably kittens and socks and cowboys.

Billy and Birthday Girl talked about bondage and body parts, Dick talked to her about lingere and GOB earned Brownie points by giving the girl her dance floor. Sucker.

Chris was there but said nothing of consequence, Izzy and English reintroduced themselves, the eyepatch brigade talked...eyepatches. What a surprise.

Parker and Xander talked about stupid hats and birthdays and unbirthdays and English and Xander discussed maiming and killing - that's more like it. Bridge and Xander were awkward at each other and talked about Anders-made goodness. We all know how that works out. Or, if you don't, ask Phoebe.

Giles and Parker met again, Hermione set foot in a place that sells alcohol to minors and Tori was there and not drinking the good stuff.

There was a dance floor! I could show you kids a few moves, but I won't. Deal with it. Birthday girl and partner danced, so did Blonde and Blonder and Parker. Solo. Hah.

And there wasn't a cake, but there was Anders-made goodness. Cupcakes. Not dirty. Yeah right.

In unrelated news, some guy came to town, Miho pimped out the Sin and Venture left for good. Deadpool was there. No, they didn't make out, you can stop dry-wretching now.

That's all there is. There isn't any more. Buzz off. Begone. Vamoose. Moose? No really, there's a moose in here. What the..."

[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Hello again puny mortals. Or not so puny since you managed to survive Posiedon's usual tricks. This is Hades on WTFH penguin radio. All penguin all the time. Woo-hoo. You can feel the love right here.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

US Government run by Receding Hairline Man had an exam. Liz the crazy girl apologized for skipping class and Dawn of the frying pan, whatever that means, asked for a make-up test. Does that involve eyeliner?

Music is Love got into the St Patrick's Day spirit by singing Irish drinking songs. They're nowhere near as amusing when you're sober. Unless you're a penguin, then everything is hilarious. The kid with the weird ponytail didn't get it. No one was surprised. His not as clueless sister talked to the green horny guy after class.

Villains and Villainy tried to solve a mystery and faced off against some putz named Moriarty.

Fandom's very own professional spinster with the lame name opened the library.

I had office hours, not that any of you came to see me thank Zeus, and also on the office hours trail were the office, Grandma, the Winged Not-So-Wonder, Space Cadet, Broodatron 4000, Orphy and Tall, Dark and Glowering. Aeryn, Spinster, Molly and Farmboy stopped by.

Student Council were as useless as ever and there was an abundance of potatoes at lunch. Possibly evil potatoes. Evil potatoes with little fangs and a thirst for penguin blood.

Dorms: So Many Kids, So Little Arsenic

Okay, first of all we have some good news. People left! I'd tell you to ask your friends about it, but they're probably gone. You should follow.

Jude and Blair are ruthless hippies, Pippi was a floozy and hugged another girl's boyfriend, same with Annie and Tori who also talked about which faculty members were best to sleaze onto. The girlfriend showed up for her obligatory hug.

Crazyflakes aka Deadpool thought Jude was a prostitute. I hear that job makes good money. Sokka the ponytailed wonder got himself some man love, there was some girl-on-girl action with Annie and Pippi, Tori and Pippi and Rikku and Pippi. You know you can change your name by deed poll in most states.

There's a whole lot more hugging between Sokka and Pippi, Annie and Hippy Boy, Pippi and Hippy and Manwhore and Hippy. Tori and Blair aren't a joke about British politics, but decide that hugging is an infectuous disease and now you're all going to die. Rikku and Hippy bounce and hug, Sokka gets more manlove and Sokka hugs Rikku and that sentence had way too much use of the letter K for my liking.

Winchester Juniors 1 and 2 were in the Principal's Tower and I don't care how much the penguin is waggling his eyebrows at me, I am not adding 'bow-chicka-bow-wow'. River got out of here while she still can, Annie got a phone call, Cassie was her usual self in Stark's room, Rikku and Manwhore had some 'oh-em-gee adorable' time together. Dawn and Isabel had catch up girl time that probably involved you-know-what and Weiss came to talk about Parker. Way to ruin the mood.

Town: No Longer Under the Sea

If you wanted to prove how much of a geek you are, go work at the post office. They're hiring. And they were open, complete with penguin dance routine. The Stupid Name Store was open and Deadpool is the Queen of England. The new guy showed up at the causeway. Make sure you make him feel right at home in Fandom by throwing him in the duck pond.

Scorpy showed up in the Park, Aeryn tried to kick his little shiny backside and got arrested for her troubles. Hah, gotta love comic timing. The Troopers are never around when you need 'em and always there when all you want to do is kill a guy.

Cafe Fina was run by penguins. The guy in charge is a candlestick. The place is moving up in the world.

Trooper Central was busy tonight, but there aren't any details. The squirrels have written a lot of things that APPARENTLY I can't say on the air or I'll get beeped out again. *BEEP*ing squirrels.

Photo Hut was open, but no one cared.

Caritas was the place to be if you wanted to throw your drink on the owner for $10. I don't know the owner. This may be a good deal. Scorpy was out making friends and influencing people. Namely, Crichton, who now wants to kill him. I like this guy already.

The nun complained about the waste of booze going on. And apparently 'Lent blows'. You heard it right here from the voice of a penguin. Well, not a real penguin. They can't talk. A nun penguin. With the habit. Thing. Whatever.

John Connor hit on the nun and is going to hell.

New guy stopped in at the clinic, Billy came to visit during the day and it was quiet as usual for Doctor Lambert's shift.

And we're done. Don't forget to wear green tomorrow. Submit to your penguin overlords and they'll treat you well. Or don't and suffer their wrath. You didn't think they were here for a vacation, did you?"
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"This is Herman the talking duck," Hades said, not making any attempts to disguise his voice. "On WTFH radio, now with 92% more rain.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

US Government discussed the President's furniture, which is probably wet by now, and talked about which piece of furniture they'd want to be.

Music is Love's theme was marital arts and hats. Wait. Martial arts or marital arts? All things marital are more combat than art. The Mountie and the Ninja were the judges. Everyone sang and Alec stripped. No one was surprised.

Seely...Sealant? Your new name is Glue. Glue taught Villains and Villainy because the teacher was sick. Yeah right. She was too lazy to get out of bed. Theme of the day was my personal favorite, the Femme Fatale. In this case, Bitterwoman. Melakalaka Balance Board of Trust wanted to know if she got an A for using girlkissy as her weapon of choice. Knowing Glue, probably.

Rose (by any other name would smell as sweet) taught Adventuring Survival Tactics because The Doctor wasn't in. Probably went for a swim. If you see a guy with big ears and water wings floaties, tell him he's a slacker. International mishaps were the talk of the day. Namely, how to avoid avoiding them. And John Connor talked about the weather.

Wow. Really. Because that's not a big topic of the day or anything.

The school assembly was a Battle of the Sexes. Sam, Billy and Peter of the Bangs represented the boys. Considering these boys are full of I Can't Believe It's Not Testosterone instead of the real thing, I can safely assumed that the boys lost. Oh, and the enemy team consisted of Molly, Naomi and Annie who probably had more collective gonads than the boys' team.

Billy and Naomi had a battle of wits, Sam and Molly had a battle of pudding, Peter of the Bangs and Annie busted a move (and you'd better be planning on fixing it), Sam and Naomi wound up in giant gerbil wheels. Run, mortals, run! Peter of the Bangs and Molly showed that they passed the first grade, Billy and Annie decorated Alanna and that cat of hers and the audience cheered. It doesn't say who won, but it's not hard to guess.

Self-Defense Club met and is probably going to become the synchonized swimming club before too long.

The easiest mocking target since Helen of Tory opened the library and Bridge stopped in to get over himself. Now all we need is River in here and we've got a whole bad pun saying thing going on.

Office hours were popular, but the people holding them weren't. Poindexter, Orphy, Dark and Brooding, the Friz, Space Cadet, Brace Face and By Any Other Name joined in. It's like a block party, without food or fun.

Dorms: Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away With Me

Aeryn stayed out of the rain and worked out in the gym. People wisely left her alone.

Valentine has a penis. Tortoise doesn't care, Nova hid, Jaye congratulated him on the discovery. I wonder if it has a mask too. John Connor joined in on the day of jubilee.

The Roof was rained on, like every other piece of this godsforsaken rock, and Sokka looked for Katara. Tori looked for Sokka. No one cares. Blonde Sam played in the rain and didn't melt, Billy joined her and didn't short circuit, Jack joined both of them but the rain didn't sizzle on His Hotness like he'd have people believe and Billy asked about Jack's womanhood. Classy.

Jack got a phone call and called Parker. What is this? Phone tag? Stark is back to normal and is as elated as an emo kid can be, Isabel is back and was taken back to her room, Cedric came to check on her. Blair and Miley got phone calls to leave town (coincidence? I think not. Put that in your relationship news). Marie told Jamie about a power switch. Yes, it's on the wall. I think this sets a record for new levels of boring news. Jude and Rikku get down and dirty, Bel-who's-not-dead-now-really decides to go see Angel and Lana and Phoebe do girl things.

Nadia gets flowers for her birthday. Pippi surprised her with presents. It's her birthday. How is that a surprise? Birthdays only exist for presents. Plus, typically, celebrations. In the fifth floor common room. Walter was there to talk about the weather, so was Al and Pippi and John Connor and Setsuna. Then Nadia felt pain. I feel that way on birthdays too.

Willow wrote fan fiction and you should all ask to see it, Jack went to River for a booty call, Annie slept and Sokka and Evie talked about technology that's not going to help you now. Marie and Peter of the Bangs talk about a power switch. No. Really. Electricity is thrilling. Jamie joined in on the electrical fun, Jack went to hug Isabel and Alec, Dean and Glue woke up together. In bed. Write fan fiction about THAT.

Town: Darling It's Better, Down Where It's Wetter. Except Not, Because It Blows

The clinic was full of comas and visitors and doctors. Also, water is wet.

Caritas got into the spirit with sandbags. Sandbags and cocktails. It's the latest fad. Barbossa is offering boat rides for the right price. Pirate. Turtle & Canary had a mermaid employee, the causeway is still there because Jack and Parker went to get Isabel, the post office was open, but moist. Luke's was soupy and Silent Bob and Mazikeen had a quiet dinner. Hah. I kill me.

Rain couldn't stop the Kwik Stop from having loiterers on the roof, Cafe Fina was prejudiced against merfolks and Leo of the Photo Shop was high.

The schmoopy duo had dinner, Azzy taught Blair to bake, Abby of the Crypt left town (smart move), the pirate wannabe got a phone call, the big phone booth went underwater and Clark is gone for good. Anyone want to run a hotel?

The water is starting to rise.

Aaaand Poseidon showed up to lay claim to Fandom after some groundhog minion killed some of his fish. That's my cue to vamoose. Goodbye Fandom, this is Herman the talking rubber duck signing off. Enjoy being part of Poseidon's dominion and don't forget half price off SCUBA gear."

Hades then disappeared, leaving Herman on the broadcast desk.
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"It's Friday. Who knew? The squirrels did, that's who. This is Hades, God of the Dead and Lord of the Underworld, here reporting the local news on WTFH for you darling little mortals. Savor the moment. It's something you can tell your grandchildren about if any of you actually breed.

Now there's a thought that's going to fester.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't
Actually, none of you have class. It's Spring Break. Why aren't you all in Daytona or Miami Beach? Or, I don't know, Risa? Yeah, well, think about it for next time. Go away, you clingy little things.

Dorms: I Hope They Use Bleach Regularly

Jude was in the lobby. There was a Rikku. There was Jude finding out Rikku is a cheerleader. There was the swapping of bodily fluids. Use your imagination.

In the Fourth Floor Common Room, Billy had pizza. Is he still alive? High school kids and pizza? It's like hyenas and a zebra. Or a minotaur and an ice cream cake. It never ends well for the zebra. Billy's the zebra here, or the guy holding the zebra. Or the party clown. If I cared enough, I'd say someone should go check and see if he has all of his limbs attached (real or not), but I don't. Ami showed up with a map and an ice sculpture. Okay. Tori brought writing materials. What kind of pizza gathering is this? Pizza's better hot and you don't write on it. Shawn told Billy he was on drugs. Or given superpowers by aliens. Same thing. Pippi was as helpful as ever. Yeah. She was just there for the pizza. Admit it. Liz isn't making the doctors work for their wage anymore, Pippi and Liz confessed their undying love for each other and Setsuna showed up to help. I'm assuming that means help finish the pizza or drugs. Or drugged pizza.

Eminem was in the Fifth Floor Common Room. Or M&Ms. The guy has his own candy? I want my own candy. The Hades Bar. There are so many inappropriate jokes here. I can't decide which one to use. Zuko is leaving town. No one threw him a party. I think that right there shows that the guy needs to work on his people skills. Pippi said hi to Sokka's chinchilla.

I feel like all of the jokes coming to mind today are below me.

No, wait, here's one that's already written for me. Hermione had a daisy grow out of her head. Comedy...well, I wouldn't call it gold, but it's at least bronze.

It's schmoopy couples central for Peter and Willow before Peter left to fight giant lizards, Sakurazaki beat up Ranma for getting into a fight with Deadpool (shyeah, right), Jude and Rikku got flexible, Lana got a call from Jimbo, Dawn and Winchester Junior Number 2 got down and dirty, Sam Carter and Jack wrote love letters to each other. Gag. Dick picked Annie up for a date, Katara slapped Zuko after they got into a fight and John and Aeryn had a fight. No idea if there was slapping involved. If John's in the clinic, there was.

River wrote a letter home and talked to Parker about Blair and Jack. Oooh jealousy. The roof was an emo alert zone for Anders and Nadia. And Neil and either Connor or Conner with an er (I don't care which) talked about alien probes. Seriously, no one cares that much about your rear end except maybe Doctor Venture.

Town: The Only One in America With No Starbucks

Luke's Diner had a Fleetwood Mac day. Complete with Yahtzee dressed for the occasion. Nadia came by to be a squealing fangirl.

Moist worked on setting up the Post Office. Then he delivered the mail. Good. I want my BPAL package.

Parker waited at the causeway for some friends. She has friends? Oh, Isabel showed up and made Parker think about switching sides to bat for the other team, Jack showed up and worried about Sam. I'm sure she could join in if you asked the girls nicely. Cedric was there with his broomstick.

If you're ever bored one day, sit back and play 'spot the phallic symbol'.

Anakin was at Emo Beach. Anakin. I know guys called Hermelecles and Ariad...something. And still? Anakin? As in Bananakin? Wow your mom must have used a random word generator. John, Faithful and Rory (another person with a stupid name) came by to soak up some emo. Maybe you should collaborate and work on getting your names changed by Deed Poll. I'm not against suffering (hello, Greek god), but no one should have to suffer like *that*.

Doctor Troy had a busy morning in the clinic. It's STD season. Conner was there, so were Luke and Badly Named Rory. Dirty. Liz, John Connor and Lana had overnight stays and visitors. There were probably boils involved. Yeck. Everyone had cleared out by evening. Learn from their germs.

Dick and Annie had a date at Ching Tai. The squirrels want you to know that no one's been stood up and there's no food fights. So it was a boring date.

MC Xander was working in the MC lobby on an MC Friday night. Hope he's getting paid overtime.

Lucy's Place had customers. I wasn't one of them, so I don't care. But the squirrels do. Mask Girl got a package, another way too easy joke, and flirted with Silent Bob. Silently.

Caritas had GOB back. A very bruised GOB. Pippi sang to show off to Chad. This is Chad. Watch Chad drink. Drink Chad, drink. Pippi wouldn't leave the guy alone and everyone's favorite blonde couple showed up. Dick got Annie drunk. The local stoner hit on Pippi and the nun has given up beer for Lent. Only in Fandom.

And because no Friday night can go without a good laugh, people went hunting for a Lichenthrope. Very funny, squirrels. You spelled 'lycanthrope' as if it was a 'lichen'. As in the mold." Chittering. "What do you mean that's right? There's a rabid piece of mold out there trying to turn other people into rabid pieces of mold?" More chittering. "Okay, fungus. It's a fungus?" Even more chittering. "Right, right, a fungus and an algae. Wikipedia says so, so it has to be true. I invented wikipedia. There's a rabid piece of mutant fungus-algae on the loose. Hermione and Dawn show up to fight crime. Or the fungus of doom. Apparently, there's no difference. Fred brought a cheese grater. Instead of, you know, weed killer. Zero is in and is apparently awesome because she's Zero. I think 'mentally unstable' is closer to the mark. Annie and Rikku decided they should've brought their claws. Even though Annie doesn't have one. But Fred gave her a trawl. Yes squirrels, it's called a trawl, not that 'garden tool that's not a hoe but looks like a claw'.

Sokka isn't threatened by the fungus. Wait until you start growing mushrooms behind your ears. Zack brought a gas mask so he doesn't inhale spores. He never inhaled. And, no really, they all went and hunted the lichen.

There's not much you can say about that except what the *BEEP*? Get away from that button. I can say *BEEP* if I want to. Stop beeping me out for saying *BEEP*. What do you mean kids' show? Since when has the radio been a kids' show? *BEEP* the kids' show. This is Hades, *BEEP*ing God of the *BEEP*ing Dead, Lord of the *BEEP*ing Underworld and I'll say whatever the *BEEP* I want on *BEEP*ing WTFH radio. *BEEP*ing squirrels."
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"And I see most of you managed to survive whatever it was Madrox was up to. Good for you. This is Hades, back from the Bahamas and on WTFH radio. I miss the little umbrellas.

Mmm cookies )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"Wow, is it Friday already? Time flies when you sleep through the week. This is Hades, the one and only, on WTFH radio. Let's get this show on the road because you're all out dancing and being disgustingly mortal, so there's a lot to cover.

Talky meat )

That's it. More dancing probably, but even squirrels need sleep. Remember, if you're having sex, use protection. The last thing we need around here is more kids."

[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"I'm here a day early. I don't know why. Fandom commandment number one: thou shalt not...something. I forget. It has to do with not pissing off the wildlife. So anyway, this is WTFH radio Fandom, let's see what ridiculous antics you pitiful creatures got up to today. Hopefully it's more interesting than what you do on Fridays.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

My couch tried a mutiny. Its punishment was swift, but hopefully painful. Anatomy showed some spleen love and worked on their body outlines. Use wikipedia. It's faster.

Guitar loosened up their fingers. You know, I'm not even going to try to say that's not dirty, because IT IS.

The folklore class learned how to pick up innocent girls named Cinderella. More fraternizing went down, then there Kurolinda whose parents were as cruel as Rory Gilmore's and who turned out to serve an evil prince. I think that was Kurolinda, not Rory. Although, it's always the quiet ones you have to look out for.

The Friz ditched class again and left Hikaru to do the hard work. Valentine showed up in a bedsheet instead of pants, balloon cars were the topic of the day with special fuel being made. Uh-huh. Special fuel. You kids were sniffing it, weren't you? Then they raced cars while intoxicated. Seriously, how have we not been shut down yet?

Film and Lit watched Hint then had a murder mystery. I don't know whether the murder was real or not. I...don't really care.

The Gods and You, which I hear has a week on yours truly, talked about Ares' punk lackeys, Strife and Discord, this week played by the TAs. Nephew, get a hobby. Oh wait. He did. He turned Krycek into a bondage chicken with a magic bow. This happened all the time back home. Nice to know some things never change across realities. Half the class had to try to steal it back, the other half had to protect it. There were animal transformations and wacky hijinks. Woo for you.

And the space cadets talked about how weak mortals are. I'll drink to that.

Office hours were all around today with Chuckles, Yuki-who-I-haven't-figured-out-a-nickname-for-yet, Boss Lady, the uptight Brit and the office actual.

It was Mexican Day at the cafeteria and Setsuna stopped by.

Down the library way, Bridge was there all day. Yomiko was caffeine deprived, Bridge and River...well, insert your own pun-related joke there. They played mind games with each other. Chris and Bridge talked about ghosties and furniture. Furniture was the topic of the day with Angela and Wyatt too. Dorks.

Dorms: Not a Dirty Magazine in Sight

Setsuna broke out the swords for practice in the salle and helped out Henry. Well aren't you a sweet little girl? Gag. Aaand she was in the gym in the afternoon. Your healthiness disgusts me.

Ami had a stash of junk food in the Fourth Floor Common Room, Annie got locked out in only a towel. Her door laughed at her, much like I'm laughing at her right now. Dick tried to seduce the door for her." Pause. "Dick, there was a GIRL in a TOWEL right there and you're seducing the DOOR? What the heck is wrong with you? Seriously, get a clue. Annette and Mac sang at the door. Musn't have worked, because the door insulted Tori and tried to get a kiss out of her. The door then mocked Buffy, but then Buffy - what kind of name is that? - turned it into splinters. Well, apparently it's the name of someone who can beat the crap out of a door. Good to know.

Valentine was stuck to a different door. They're inanimate objects, kids, show them who's boss or you'll have inanimate objects pushing you around for the rest of your lives. I can make that happen.

John and Aeryn were dorky and dirty. I don't think you can be both at once, but whatever. And hah...okay, I take that back. Marty and Angela were getting down and dirty until - get this - their mattress got offended and made them look like dorks. Or perverts. Perverted dorks. The writers from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip need to come here. It's comedy gold every week. Maybe then their skits would be funny.

Dawn and Bridge talked about Xander and she assured him that he doesn't suck. That's...kind of a let down for some guys. If you know what I mean. Aaaaand Parker talked to Isabel about some trip she's taking with River. Or down a river. Squirrels can't use proper capitalization.

Lana commandeered the couch in the Fourth Floor Common Room and then Miss Molly talked about the ghosties. Setsuna stopped by to talk about Spy Tech, Jim met Lana. Wait. Jim hasn't met Lana? Isn't Jim...y'know...with Lana? No, no, it's okay. I don't want to know about your sex lives. Moving on, Jim and Setsuna met and there was embarassment and I think we have our newest cute couple here. Break out the glitter. That's what you do around here, right? And then Jim and Molly met. Jim's getting some action tonight!

So is Weiss. Pre-marital sex is the way to go, folks!

Town: Whose Stupid Idea Was it to Build on Such a Small Island?

Sparky's was opened by the terrible two, Wilson sent a vase to get some coffee from the Perk. That's what I'm talking about. Go slavery! Show them who's boss! Blair complained about being possessed. You should be so lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky, that someone actually wanted to possess you. Take a compliment when it smacks you in the face, kid. T&C was open, Turtle explained business strategy and Deadpool was...my notes say he was 'adorably overprotective of Turtle'. I think the squirrel was on crack.

There was a booze-up at the Church with Shuichi and Rosette, River and Jane met at the Perk and flambe was the theme of the day at Cafe Fina.

The clinic was quiet both day and night and yet again, the doctors are getting paid for NOTHING.

Wilson Lite opened up the Devil's Nest, Tori showed up to flirt with him and then Lucifer, a Nun and a creepy little guy walked into a bar...

What? There's no punchline.

Teal Deer was on at Caritas and Rose and Parker talked about soul-suckers. Turtle, Naomi and Billy were fangirls and Ami was there for moral support. Or...maybe I got that around the wrong way. Eh.

Annie fell asleep. They were that bad? Yeesh.

Ted and Chad broke away from the stereotypes associated with their names and were schmoopy. It was contagious, because Aziraphale and Wilson were there too and Nova talked to Teddy and Naomi and was bad at being sneaky meat.

And late-breaking news, there's a blonde thing and an anthropomorphic iPod at the causeway. Only in Fandom or Ancient Greece.

Now go away."

[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"I don't know why I keep coming back here. Possibly the teeth marks on my ankles from the squirrels. They're persuasive, what can I say? Let's have some fun with this. I'm Hades, this is Fandom Radio and the pirate loves you all. Not like that. Outta the gutter, mortals.

Oh, and Herman is here." Squeak squeak. "He says hi."

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

"I made an announcement this morning. If you weren't listening, detention! Vader's not the only one who can give detentions over radio, dang it. Anyway, the school board's coming and there's a dorm inspection on Wednesday. The notes say I said to 'Oh behave use British accent k-t-h-n-x'. I don't understand some of these notes.

Music is Love (if you say so) had a Heroes and Villains theme. Artie the Strongest Man...in the World! and Darth Vader were the judges. Why wasn't I invited? I could be a perfectly good judge. Hades for judge! Feed my ego here people, yeesh. Oh, yeah, and the kids did their thing.

Adventuring Survival Tactics learned about tentacle porn." Squeak. "I couldn't make this stuff up. The students tried to hit on each other, River wanted to make sure Berthold never tried to feel her up, Ami didn't have the stomach for it, Teddy cried me a river and Rose saw The Doctor for an after-class interlude. If you know what I mean.

Villains and Villainy dealt with Annoying Villains. Okay, what? Seriously, what? Shoot them. Move on. No one was in the mood but they had to deal with Sam I Am anyway. Right.

US Government had a test and Irulan asked Josh for advice on becoming a monarch." Squeak. "Yeah, I don't get it either. Let's get away from the boring school stuff and onto all of the other boring things you did today.

I had office hours. No one showed. Thank Zeus. I mean, ingrates! The lot of you! Barbie had office hours too. Accessories weren't included. The Caf was open and it was football fever all the way. Aaaand poor little lonesome Rory Gilmore of the Stupid Name opened the library. More on that later.

Dorms: The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is on Fire. I Wish.

Jack was in the hallway staring at his feet, then he was transparent. Well that's what happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve, or your kidneys on your ankles or your appendix on your belt. Evie got warned about shadows. Seriously, you're scared of shadows? What kind of wimps are you people? Then Rose walked Jack to class. I'm not saying a word. Rumor speaks for itself.

The in the Fifth Floor Common Room, Pippi went to the pantry and had a fit. River tried to warm her up. If you know what I mean. Then they talked about a dance club. I could do a dance club. There could be parties. Remember kids, there's no party like a Hades party 'cause a Hades party don't stop. Billy waved to River and then got invisible. How do you just 'get' invisible? Whatever.

Ami baked in the Fourth Floor Common Room. I see no baked goods. Where are my baked goods? Ami told John Connor she was worried about the shadows. You're really scared of your own shadows, huh. What a pushover. Billy kissed her. Keep in your pants, kids! Pippi fell through the ceiling and landed in a bowl of cake mix. Hahaha aaaahahahahaha comedy gold. Naomi said hey. Charming young girl that one, then Billy asked how she was doing and Naomi avoided the cake mix."

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

"That's my head meeting the desk. Why? Because your trivial daily events somehow make the news and I DON'T CARE. Let's share some more, equally inane news, shall we?

6 and Valentine duke it out with their shadows. Naomi was attacked by a shadow while calling home. Zack was attacked in bed. Is that what we're calling it these days? Annette played the victim to Cally. Note to self: Annette can play damsel-in-distress. Good to know. Marty and Angela remembered yesterday. Yes.

Parker got attacked by a shadow with Weiss in the room. So much for the knight in shining armor. Angela returned some phone calls, Matilda saw some twin ghosts, Valentine got attacked again, Isabel guarded Jack. Okay seriously? The euphemism are getting a bit much. Mac and Cally were cute and Nadia curled up with a sick Walter.

And if all of that went out your ear, the entire thing can be summarized by saying everyone had lots and lots of sex and the squirrels came up with all new ways to say it. And I still don't give a...whatever.

Town: That Place. With the Thing. You Know The One.

Miho made a phone call. Isn't she the one that doesn't talk? How would that work? GOB left Fandom. Farewell, crazy man I don't know. Get out while you still can!

Down at Caritas, GOB didn't show. Because he left town. I just said that. Tino declared Shirtless Friday. Really? Well, if you insist. Hang on a second, kids." Ruffle ruffle oof ruffle. "...that's better. I feel free! And I'm not paying for your therapy bills. Venture drank beer and was shirtless. Excuse me while I shudder." Squeak. "Herman shuddered too. Luke and Dean celebrated victory, but only Dean was shirtless and actually drinking. Luke was a pansy boy. Katara didn't get naked, but she did stare at Dean.

The Devil's Nest was not clothes optional and there were half-price drinks for teachers. Lucy was there looking as suave as ever. Luce! Call me. We'll do lunch.

The clinic was quiet. And yet, the doctors still get paid. Don't let them get paid for nothing! Get out there and get injured! They give out lollipops.

Cheesecake reigned supreme, but didn't rain at Cafe Fina, Batou opened Sanctity, the doctor who gets paid too much for nothing took a walk in the park and The Turtle & Canary and Photo Hut were open.

Can I go home now? No. No I can't, because some of you little brats were out playing hero. Wahey! Bored now.

Shadows: They Can Smell Your Spicy Soul

It was research central down at the library. Aww little Gilmore got some friends, even with that name. Irulan told Cameron that Parker was out for the count, Katara taunted Cam with hot chocolate he couldn't drink, Molly and Cam are to blame for the shadows. Or, you know, the sun. Cam and Tori talked about getting shadowed and eating ice cream. Tannim brought Wyatt a birthday cake. Can we say 'bad timing'? Liz helped, Haruhi and the twin ghosts talked and Ami was there.

Katara called Zack's books dumb, Evie and Irulan talked about Jack, blah blah blah, Summer was there, John Connor was there, Rose was there, Alanna, the ghost twins, Molly and Deadpool were there. The whole family, right?

Rose promised help, Tori and Annette and Tori and Luke discussed their girly feelings, Katara declared herself queen of Hot Chocolateville, The Principal's future stepson talked to Blonde 1 about Blonde 2, then on to Blonde 3. Then Blonde 3 talked to Blonde 4 about...you guessed it, shadows.

Group 1 researched Fandom history, Group 2 researched the shadows, Group 3 researched spells and then everyone got ready and went all hero type on us.

You people are so predictable.

Luke, Katara and Dean kicked some shadow behind at the causeway, Selkie Cove was covered by Chad, Alanna, Rose and Clark. Aww cute couples. Wyatt, Sam, Deadpool and Nadia took the East side of the Preserve and Izzy, Conner, Tori and Tannim took the West side. If you break out into song and there's Sharks and Jets involved, I'm going to hurt you all. Oh, and Weiss, penguin boy and LaForge were over at Galactica Point engaging in some male bonding.

Is that it? That's it. They won. The shadows are gone, just like at noon every day, and it's another day in paradise for the laughing stocks of the multiverse. I say goodnight, Herman says goodnight," squeak! "And try not to choke on anything."
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"You like me! You really like me! This is Hades, Lord of the Underworld and now Lord of Fandom Radio. You could turn the radio off, but that would make Hades sad. And when Hades gets sad, he gets mad, and then he starts talking in the third person and then bad things start happening, like herpes and the Red Sox winning the World Series. So tune in, every Friday on your airwaves.

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of Us Don't

US Government did governmenty things. Vote Hades for President in 2008. You might know my running mate, Stephen Colbert. Anyway, people griped about the British. Damned ungrateful colonials. Fandom Idol except where it's not called Fandom Idol because of copyright reasons had our very own Zero - there's a kid called Zero here? What's she going to name her kid? One? - and Hannah Montana. The squirrels say she's a pop sensation. Good for her. The theme of the day was punk bubblegum. May Zeus have mercy on your eardrums.

The Villains and Villainy kids stole priceless artefacts like idols and treasure and Hudson Bay. Adventuring Survival Tactics with the guy who lives inside the box practiced screaming. Trust me, that's one skill you're gonna need in the long-run.

Nobody loves Rory Gilmore and with a name like that, can you blame them? She was alone in the library all day. Dork. And nobody ate in the cafeteria today, thus saving themselves a lot of heartburn and clogged arteries.

Assembly was held and if you didn't sleep through - I sure did - you'd know that the special topic of the day was DANK: Drugs Are Not Kool! Except they are and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying or in a position of authority. Caffeine is a drug. Ask anyone here if it's not cool. Dare ya. The Mexican street band musician talked first about cartels, then Duffman gyrated in the direction of badly hidden advertising. Zero's mom Nikki said drugs are bad, mkay and Lucille Bluth said something, and I was awake for it, but I was too impressed by her plastic surgery to care what she was talking about. Then Danny Tripp some big shot Hollywood producer talked about being a cocaine addict. Never do cocaine! Smoke pot. It's cheaper. Then there was some smartass in a suit named Smith who said drugs lead to death. No kidding. After the talks, there was a Q&A session and some one-on-one sessions, if you know what I mean.

Office hours were the highlight of the day for Four Eyes, Drama Queen, the office, Barbie Lite, Space Cadet and me. And to the people who visited me, if you're listening, I know where you live.

Oh, and hahahahaahahah AAAAHAHAHAHA hunh. Zuko, Molly, Blair, Sam, Dick, Billy, Naomi and Professor Deadpool got detention with me tomorrow. Wear comfortable shoes and bring body armor.

Dorm Life: It's Like Reality TV, With Cookies

There was an earthquake. Most people didn't notice. It was probably the fat kid jumping rope on the roof. Door applauded or something and Billy said Double-U-Tee-Eff. These notes make no sense.

Parker had caffeine and weaponry at the Gun Range, Chris showed up and received lessons in guns and love and Billy practiced his shooting, but thankfully not his love. Save that for the bedroom.

Good grief, you people are all fit and healthy. It's disgusting. Aeryn worked out in the gym and trained Mel in how to fight. Pssht. Heroes.

Ami did laps in the pool and Annette lounged around in the water and talked girl talk. Tee hee hee. That's what the notes say. I wasn't tee heeing.

Tannim got all thinky over a poster, Dick and Tannim were crybabies about not being invited to a slumber party, Pip wanted to build a treehouse and what the heck does that have to do with anything? Marco invited himself. I'm not sure if that's to the party or the treehouse. Demyx and Valentine feel a sense of dread and Seely had a different perspective, but it doesn't say what it was. I'm dying to know. Really.

And hey, Seely wore a skirt in the third floor common room. That's actually normal where I come from. *chittering* Oh, a leather skirt. No, that's normal too. *chittering* No, you can't see my skirt. Go away. Look, so was Demyx. Valentine wore leather pants, Dick was shirtless and Tyler was impatient. Insert your own homoerotic joke here.

Jack flirted with a stuffed pink elephant. He can't be that desperate. Maybe Rory's desperate enough to go for him. Ami woke up. As did we all, Ami, as did we all. John and Aeryn were flirty, and my notes say that the Pope is Catholic. Naomi got a call from home, Jake headed out of town looking suave and sophisticated, Buffy was oinked by Mr Gordo and wow did my brain go somewhere I never wanted it to go. Marie and Zuko were recluses and Chad and Teddy had their own slumber party if you know what I mean. Jack's back with a lovesick elephant, very big feet thanks to Dr Venture and it says here Cedric may need to cut him out of his pants.

Pants surgery. It's the latest fad.

Sakurazakizakinonakibananafannafofaki shunned the slumber party and Jaye was disappointed when her hot little Obi-Wan action figures weren't alive anymore. Collective 'aww' here.

There was a slumber party at Mel's place. For girls only. Wait, no, don't tell me. I envision girly talk, pillow fights, skimpy lingerie and panty raids. Let's see if I'm right. Willow assured Mel that her stuffed animal wasn't evil. Don't believe her. Katara and Willow bonded over junk food - mind the thighs - Pippi and Willow bonded over red hair, herbs and cool new words. Mel and Katara talked Zuko and which movies to watch, Pippi brought booze, Pippi helped Katara with a (ugh) superhero name, Mac and Cally were vegan if you didn't know from all the other times, Pippi offered lemon fizzy stuff, Mel, Mac and Cally decorated Zuko's bed. Poor guy.

Katara asked Cally what happened to her. Oh for crying out...LISTEN TO THE RADIO. You'd know why. River met people and talked about skiing, Evie met a bunch of people I don't care about, Molly introduced people to her doll. What is she, 12? Pamela wore cute pajamas, Layla wouldn't shut up, Turtle met people and probably mentioned stocks, Dawn has pretty hair, Johnina, Gregette and Petra arrived. O...kay. Cruel parents.

Zuko wasn't happy. Also, cheeseburgers make you fat. Tori talked sleepovers with Katara and Molly and how are all of these people fitting into one room? No, really. How? Naomi talked to Katara and then to Molly about walking animals. Yes, animals walk, unless they swim, fly, slither or skip. Nadia arrived minus emo, Isabel met Katara and Kat told her that she might have sledded on a student on the weekend. Kinky. Angela brought her potty-mouthed French teddy bear, Tyler advertised boykissy. Wait, is that what I think it means? What a progressive school. And Buffy and her pretty hair said hi to Tori.

There's probably more, but the squirrels got the heck out of there after that before the girls started making out with each other.

Town: Unethical Scientific Experiments, Grand Larceny and Snuggling All Wrapped Into One

Luke, Rory the Lonely, Artoo and Vladdie went to visit Vader at his house. They got caught. I'm thinking 'visit' means 'break into' in this case. Call the trooper station to post bail.

The well-manicured guy and the other guy who hangs around him snuggled, then Nadia joined in. Wait, no. She got help meditating. That doesn't sound any better. There was more snuggling. Get a hobby.

There was a cyclops on the roof of Mauvaise Chance. He hired Cally to fix the spaceships on the roof and then talked to Bridge about what he did with Willow last night. Not dirty. Yeeeah, I don't buy it.

GOB hid from his mom with Becky. That sounds like a pretty lame excuse to get close to the hooker without paying. Devil's Nest was quiet and so was the clinic.

Misha hung out at the coffee place, Isabel showed up and got grilled about someone named Harrington. Parker was special and turned questions back around on the Misha. The Nun was in the church. Also, Fandom is weird.

Venture ran an unethical scientific experiment, but people got paid for it, so who cares? Cassie, Leo and Liz signed their lives away, Cassie and Leo had a serious conversation and Leo didn't get distracted by milkshakes, Cassie got kicked out (atta girl!). Some people got engorged, others got shrunk but everyone got back to normal, or as normal as people get around here.

Jane opened All and Sundries, Setsuna came in for some crushed ice. In Winter. Blonde girl who visited me today? Holy water her. That's unnatural. Luke's Diner had Chow Like Cho day and I have no idea what that means. River, Buffy, Turtle, Ami, Dawn and Evie had a spa day. Jack studied maps. Maybe he was flirting with the map. I can give you Rory's phone number, you know. Ami and Billy had a date at Ching Tai and then the movies. It was cheesecake Friday at Cafe Fina and some fat kid stopped in for a meal. Fast Eddie's was open for Parker and Weiss who played pool, and Chris and Jo.

That's it. If you want drama and intrigue, watch Ninth Hell or that crappy family show with the guy from Misguided. If you want the boring, insignificant details of everyone's lives because you're a voyeur who has to know everything about everyone else, tune in tomorrow for more Fandom Radio.

I'll be back next week. Apparently. Night night, sleep tight, yadda blah.

[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
Hades: "Guess who's back, kids? It's your old pal, Hades. That's right. Me. Hades. The squirrels have roped me in again, but I'm not alone. Meet...who the heck are you?"

Ellen: "Ellen Harvelle. That supposed to be Hades as in 'Lord of the Underworld', or s'there another reason your head's on fire?"

Hades: "Lord of the Underworld, God of the Dead, party animal, lover of mortals and prince of pizzazz. At your service. This is Fandom Radio, and if you haven't figured that out by now, I'm thinking your brain has been turned into pie."

Ellen: "Hey now, no need to be rude about it. Been in town all of two days and already I'm getting accosted by squirrels and herded into a radio station with a sarcastic deity. Now, are you going to yammer on all night or pass me some of those notes?"

For the love of Fandom, you people talk way too much )
[identity profile] ismyhairout.livejournal.com
"This, fair citizens of this dinky little island, is Hades. Maybe you've heard of me. Maybe you haven't. Whatever. I'm the new Vice Principal, this place has irritating squirrels that are gonna find themselves as worms once I get out of here and you're all listening to this radio thing. Or turn it off, see if I care.

Who the hell are you people and why do you talk so much? )

This is Hades. This is the radio. You just wasted a good portion of your life listening to this garbage. See you in school. Study hard! Work hard! Go team."


Fandom High RPG

About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU

Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun


Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.