WTFH

Yo, Fandom.

This is...well, y'all know who this is by now. Let's get through these notes real quick an' we'll just...get through stuff. All we can do right now, right?

Also, it seems important to mention right now that it's the last week of the term an' the last week on island for the seniors. Students, if this is the last broadcast of mine you hear, know that it's been a pleasure knowin' you, whether it was when I was teachin', a visit to Luke's, someone to stand near when the fightin' got bad or the researchin' went late, or even just another friendly face on the island. But I hear this place will always welcome you back home, so no matter what goes down in the places that you live, you'll always have somewhere to go. Granted, that place is weird an' messy an' smells like dead sharks right now, but there's always a welcome for you here.

...Aww. I'd say I made the squirrels cry, but Leroy just spilled the rum so who even knows?

Anyway, in School, Fightin' an' Fabulosity got boas as a goin' away gift, cause handin' weapons out would be...wrong. On another note, Isabelle was givin' completely random gifts away at the end of class if anybody wanted one. Healing Power of Crystals or whatever got plastic crystals to keep, an' TA Xanthippe was grateful to not have to be Deadpool's TA anymore, especially after he mixed up Columbia an' Colombia. That'd be the university an' the South American country, since this is an audio format. No presents for The Magic of Plants, but they got to go to a poison garden on a field trip an' then have lunch there an' is it just me or are those two great tastes that sound terrible together? Last, in the Library, Peridot finished up what the squirrels are insisting is a truly excellent an' epic series that makes total sense all the time, an' Summer came in to get her phone back.

Clear for Dorms, but in Town, Lucille is at Groovy Tunes, tryna get the fish smell out by usin' flowers. Oh. Oh I bet that did not work, no.

That's it for me an' so this is Hardison out, wishin' y'all the very best. Be excellent to one another, a'ight?

Sup, Fandom. Yo, in case y'all ain't heard yet, there's s'posed to be a major hurricane on its way here. An' for anyone on this island to up an' take notice of the weather, it's probably gonna be a bad one. Y'all should stock up on staples an' supplies, but don't hoard. Make sure there's enough toilet paper an' bottled water for everybody.

Ain't entirely sure why you need to buy out the store's supply of toilet paper an' bottled water when a bad storm is on its way, but the internet assures me this is true.

Speakin' of hurricanes, Peridot was in the Library, learnin' about hurricane namin' conventions. Which are weird, I'mma give you that. Yo, has this hurricane gotten big enough to be named yet? Anyway, in Fightin' an' Fabulosity, students had to fight monsters with their weapons from their first class an' wearin' feather boas. That's some fabulosity right there. Healin' Power of Crystals tried to heal chakra with crystals or maybe tried to heal crystals with chakras. I dunno an neither do you. Summer was cranky cause it wasn't workin', Ahsoka wan't sure what chakras were, an' Xanthippe just wanted Deadpool to stop chantin'. The Magic of Plants learned how to make useful stuff outta gourds. Which is interestin', considerin' no one can figure out how to make anything tasty outta 'em.

Dorms were quiet, but in Town, Eliot was preppin' the house for the hurricane. I bet we got, like, three shelves full of paper towels an' bread now, just wait. Kitty was outside Luke's also preppin'. You heard it here folks. If the hurricane messes up your house, the bar is ready! Covent Gardens got a shipment of chichlids, not orchids an' Groovy Tunes was closed because Lucille ain't feelin' well. Get better soon, Lucille!

Anyway, this is Hardison signin' off. All jokin' aside, take a few extra precautions till this thing blows over, a'ight? It's supposed to be BAD.

*Angry chittering*

Yeah, yeah, I'm late, I know. Sorry, yo, them weird weekends always screw up my sense of time. Spent all day yesterday thinkin' it was Tuesday. But it was Wednesday, an' here's everythin' that happened yesterday.

School started off with Fightin' an' Fabulosity got to go to the mall an' pick out clothes that were cute an' capable of concealing weapons. Man, that sounds like a class Sophie would teach, too. Also, my apologies for folks out there wearin' clothes designed for ladies an' think that pockets are for chumps. Healin' Power of Crystals had a rant from Deadpool about folks not takin' his class seriously. This bein' the same class he bough fifty cent crystals for. Go figure. Magic of Plants was temporarily turned into Magic of Puppies for the day, an' Zack stopped by to chat with Karla. Over in the Library, the books were puttin' on a literal three-ring circus, but Peridot didn't pay any attention at all.

Dorms had an upset Ada from the weekend, but Isabela showed up to help comfort her an' I ain't lookin' at anythin' you squirrels are doin', dammit. Ain't my business.

In Town, Groovy Tunes was tryna drive Lucille mad with terrible music. Covent Gardens is debatin' carryin' "sorry I turned into somethin' weird" bouquets, an' Ino was back in uniform at Pick Your Poison, with Lucille comin' in to see what exactly was bein' sold.

That's it for notes an' that's it for me! Have a good week y'all!

Yo, leave off. Yeah, I'm late. It's too hot to move fast. Gimme the notes an' lemme get on with it, okay?

School had the first week introductions. Fightin' an' Fabulosity had students pick their choice of weapons as an introduction technique. Were there computers? I do alla my fightin' over computer. An' somehow, Dante already had to stay after class, but the squirrels won't tell me why. They just keep squeakin' 'OOOoooOOOH' an' pantominin' bein' in trouble. Helpful, guys. The Healin' Power of Crystals has...some kinda introductions. I mean, they talked? Look, Deadpool wanted stories about crystals or strippers an' the students complied an' I don't wanna know who talked about which. Xanthippe didn't seem excited to be his TA again, but her rant was directed at Deadpool who was all just shrug emoji about it. Then Karla is back--Eliot will be happy to hear that--with Magic of Plants an' started off havin' the class make papyrus. Wait, is there no--nope! There were still introductions, she had the class play two truths an' a lie. She thanks Lucille for bein' her TA an' then Hannibal dropped by with chocolates.

Man, ain't no one brought me chocolates when I was teachin'.

The Library had Peridot with some gremlin bodyguards an' I don't even wanna know the rest of that story.

Town is quiet, everyon' restin' up after the holiday, but my girl Tali has a work ethic, showin' up at Stark's to work on a drone.

An' I'm out, 'bout to go enjoy air conditionin' like a civilized human.

Hey it's Hardison an' welcome to summer! Glad we're finishin' up the last week of classes so y'all can get your relaxin' on before the heat gets terrible an' its back into the AC we go.

So let's get this goin', huh? School started off with Resolving Conflict Without Violence talked about scenarios that just needed to be fixed by violence. Seems to go against the spirit of the class, but a'ight. Iron Fandom kidnapped two judges--dammit Eliot! Talk to your kid about kidnappin' because who else will? Anyway, the last class was about cheese an' I'm glad I was a judge back when they were still just askin' folks. Deadpool was tired from all the teachin' he'd done the day before, so Arts & Crafts just made their projects up. An' at the , Peridot apparently went to my Nana's School of Dealin' With Kids, an' kept yellin' "I caught you!" even though the books were behavin'. Mmmhmm.

Dorms were quiet an' in Town, the plants were super-moody at Covent Gardens an' Tali was dealin' with creepy electronics at Stark Industries.

A'ight, that's it for me today. Later, Fandom!

Yo, didja all do a bit of redecorating since last week? This place seems...I dunno bigger. An' peacher.

*Chittering*

No, peachier would mean stuff is more peachy than the last time. The walls are definitely peacher. Now hush. I ain't gettin' into an argument about grammar with a damn squirrel. Movin' onto notes so shut certain squirrels up...

School saw Resolvin' Conflicts Without Violence talked about fight versus flight versus negotiation. Iron Chef apparently had kimchi as its special ingredient today an' Jenkins as their special judge, who they kidnapped--

Raven. Kathy. Please don't go kidnappin' people. It ain't--you can't--you shouldn't--no kidnappin'!

Arts & Crafts had a teacher this week, but he was drunk. TA Xanthippe wanted to know where he'd been for the past two weeks, a conversation that I'm sure went well for her. In the library, Library, the books were hidin' from Peridot, but that seems like the least of her problems. Summer came in an' had a weird conversation that involved randomly-appearin' mega-muscles, unprompted hugs, an' general creepiness. Mara pulled a weapon on Peridot for...reasons I guess? An' Rufus recorded everythin' weird Peridot was doin'. Anakin had office hours, but as an old man.

No weirdness to report in Dorms but Town more than made up for it. In Covent Garden, Peter was bribing his flowers for good behavior. Kenzi was a Luke's, her hair mysteriously changin' color with every comment in her phone call with Cecil. Eliot was at the Perk, dressed as a cowboy an' every comment I have is inappropriate--an' Kanan came by lookin' like a woman. Then their conversation got weirder which don't seem possible, but the squirrels assure me is true. An' Steve was shirtless at the Gym an' a herd of squirrels just nearly trampled me running into town to see if he's still there.

Hannibal was at home with Jono while they randomly switched ages, languages, and sometimes caught fire.

An' that's all for yesterday's news, have a good day! I'mma head home an' see if Eliot still has that cowbow outfit.

*Loud sneeze*

'Sup Fandom? This is Hardison, hatin' on every tree an' plant on the island right now. My allergies got allergies, yo. So let's get through these notes real quick cause I got a bottle of Claritan with my name on it.

School did its thing, with Resolvin' Conflict Without Violence talked about the difference between directly hurtin' folks an' standin' idly by while folks were hurt. Sounds pretty heavy. Unlike where I laughed my way through Iron Fandom at all the Eliot clones. The secret ingredient was bread this week an' Eric won. Good job, Eric! Xanthippe was in charge of Arts an' Crafts cause Deadpool bailed, an' so it was googly-eyes day. Sounds legit. An' in the Library, the books were misbehavin', but only when Peridot wasn't lookin'. Books are gaslightin' rocks an' this island just keeps bein' weird.

Just one note in Dorms, Summer was tryna bribe her brother for information about their Grandpa. That sounds like an interestin' family dynamic there.

Over in Town, Tali was at Stark Industries fixin' a vaccum robot. Was it in a knife fight? Anders was lookin' up non-eating options for chickens at Furnado. There are some? Ow ow! Stop throwin' acorns at me! An' the flowers were alive at Covent Garden. Ain't they supposed to be? Would be a terrible flower store if they weren't.

*Chittering*

Oh! The snapdragons were sentient. Makes more sense.

*Pause*

Wait, no it doesn't. Anyway, that's it for the notes. Hardison out.

Yo, hey hey, welcome to the first week of classes! For everyone that's been here awhile, y'all know what that means, for those of you who're new, you've probably figured it out by now! Introduction week!

I'm Hardison an' this is your Thursday mornin' newscast, brought to you by the drunkest squirrels you'll ever meet.

*Squirrely cheers*

...That wasn't a compliment, but sure. Anyway, we had classes today at School an' I'mma tell you what happened in all of 'em: introductions. But more specifically, Resolvin' Conflicts Without Violence--a class all y'all should be takin', for serious, asked students for a situation that had been solved by violence but didn't need to be. Anne, I'm pretty sure you're new here, so I'mma warn you now: the answer on this island is almost all of 'em. That's bein' said with love, but also truth cause I know y'all.

Next up was Iron Fandom, based on the reality cookin' show, an' their first secret ingredient was rice! Aww, my TA's all grown up an' teachin' her first class. I'm so proud! Like a mama bird. They asked the standard intro questions, plus another one about dietary restrictions--makes sense--before lettin' the students cook. Tony stopped by with coffee an' pastries for Kathy, cause she's his Teachin' Buddy an' he'd missed her at the picnic, but made sure to share some with Raven, too, an' they talked about Steve, who is generally perfect except his continue delusion that Brooklyn pizza is somehow good. An' Kathy an' Raven talked about what their plans for the afternoon would be after class let out, since they were both a bundle of nerves. Their plan? Watch Inspector Spacetime, which is a quality decision on their part.

Then we had Arts 'n Crafts which was mostly deadpool unleashin' more glitter on the island because that was a problem that needed fixin' apparently. Everyone had an assignment to make art that showed their inner selves an' everybody's inner selves inexplicably required a school dance's worth of glitter each. Again, newbies, that's a measurement that'll make sense one day, I swear. They do introductions an' Deadpool's TA, Xanthippe threatens to go to the administration when she discovers she's not TAin' a science class

We also had Peridot holdin' down the fort at the Library, which means now the Library is also covered in glitter an' I don't wanna be near Constantine when he finds that out the hard way.

Nothin' happened in Dorms, but Town saw the Grand Openin' of Pick Your Poison, which, in this town, could be anythin' from a literal poison store to a bar to anythin' in between, an' saw Peter hatin' everythin' about Mother's Day preparation at Covent Gardens.

An' that's it for the news from yesterday. Have a good Thursday y'all!

Slow day yesterday as y'all gear up for graduation. This is Hardison with news of Town. We start with Furnado Animal Shelter, where Anders unloads pet toys and has a "come hug a puppy" sign up. That just sounds like quality life advice there. In the parking lot, Dante's doing motorcycle maintenance, an' Anders comes around for lunch and relationship talks, eesh, an' Kathy gets offered a bike ride to help her get her mind off stuff.

That's it for me this semester. Best of luck to the graduating seniors!

Hey, Fandom. *Yawns* What up, it's Hardison with all the news collected by drunk squirrels. These damn squirrels don't seem to care I had a late night waiting for some folks to get home, so let's get through these before I fall asleep over the notes.

School was busy today with Pokemon Goin' headin' out to hatch eggs, with Deadpool tuckin' his phone into Peridot's hair an' lettin' her do the walkin' for him. Trouble brewed in Urban Survival, as Sparkle talked about squattin' in buildin's. For someone who is, an' I quote, 'a little distracted', he put together a damn fine lecture, so good job there, Sparkle. Tip found out about 'recreational squatters' which is the kind of concept that makes me wanna go on a hackin' spree. Then she an' Jalian argued over whether or not it was a good idea to trap your squat to keep other folks out. Ummm, I'mma say no, mostly cause most places 'round here have things against assault, endangerment, an' murder. Parker, if you're listenin', please don't set any more traps than you already have. Love you! Anyway, after class, Tip checked in with Sparkle by hittin' him in the face with a drawin', an' Jalian came over to tell him that family was stupid an' to work on his knifework. Okay then! Movin' along to the Library, Peridot was weirded out by the books just bein' plain books today. Fair, that does sound suspicious for this place. An' Atton met up with Sparkle at the Danger Shop to light neighborhoods on fire.

...That sounds like a damn good idea, Atton. Good job.

Dorms once again managed to not traumatize me by havin' nothin' happenin' in them today, but people were goin' to work in Town. It was Anders' first day at Furnado an' is tuckered out by lunchtime. Know the feelin', yo. An' Groovy Tunes had Lucille in a starin' contest with the Silence over the possibility of a stolen lunch.

Yo, bad form to blame somethin' for stealin' your food if you ain't got no proof. Just sayin'. Peace.

Yo, so I have a grand total of two notes here, ain't even sure why I'm here right now. Only note I have are for School, so let's get through 'em real quick. Pokemon Goin' sent folks out to find water Pokemon. Maybe even get a shiny or two. An' in Urban Survival, Sparkle told the class about some of the dangers of homeless shelters. Which--yeah. He wasn't exaggeratin'.

An' on that note, I'm out. Have a good day, Fandom.

--on't tell me I shoulda known! Aren't y'all friends with the gremlins? Next time they kidnap my boyfriend an' leave a note, they'd better--heyyyyyyyyy, Fandom. Guess who just noticed the radio light is on. An' who also noticed Leroy standin' off to the side lookin' all innocent. Ain't foolin' nobody, Leroy.

Anyway, this is Hardison an' I got yesterday's news right here for you. School was busy, with Pokemon Go out catchin' Pokemon that give 'em feelings. Ain't quite sure what kinda feelings, ain't gonna ask, either. Urban Survival went over how to dress warm an' stay safe durin' the bitter cold, which is a lesson I think we could all learn these days, brrr. And Peridot was witness to a librecide in the Library, courtesy of the Ides of March.

No Dorms, but in Town, Jenkins was tryna balance books at the Magic Box, an' a mouse in clothes said 'hi' to him.

*squirrely chittering*

'Scuse me, the mouse said 'hail.'

*More chittering*

About the cheese an' cake. An' on that note, I'm leaving because otherwise I'll ask questions.

Good mornin, y'all! I don't know why, but it seems like a damn fine day. So let's get to these few notes an' we can all get along with our days.

In School, Pokemon Going talked about the new generation of Pokemon to catch. Urban Survival was still talkin' about water an' how important it is to have an' how hard it can be to find. And in' the Library, Peridot was readin' up on sewin' machines.

No Dorms, but in Town, Zack had to figure out what to do with the new secret pup--err...uhh, is that the time? Looks like it's all the time we got now, this is Hardison, signin' off, also sorry Zack for, y'know, whatever.

Hey Fandom this is Hardison bringin' you everythin' you need to know about yesterday. An', let's be real, more than you really needed to know, right? But that's Fandom squirrels for you.

Anyway, over at School, Pokemon Goin' learned about gym battles, while Urban Survival talked about various ways to get food. Yeah, that's an important lesson, yo. At the Library, Peridot an' the books were havin' some kinda suspicious-off an' I ain't even sure who won.

Baby Jesus an' all his angels smiles on me so I have no notes to read about Dorms, but in Town Lucille dealt with bad music and weird smells at Groovy Tunes an' Covent Gardens had Peter researchin' the language of flowers.

That looks like all the notes I have, so Hardison out!

Hey Fandom, I got things to do an' people to see today, so let's blitz right through these notes.

School was mostly in session, with Urban Survival discussin' the things that keep folks down when they hit bottom an' offerin' suggestions on how to fix some of those issues. Pokemon Goin' was canceled for...this says a lesson about 'alternative revenue streams.' Man, we used that line all the time in cons. An' in the Library, Peridot had a robot-duck an' rock-bread an' that's about all the questions I even have on that.

In Dorms, Dante couldn't find anythin' he wanted to watch on the TV in the third floor common room an' I can't tell you how happy I am that was the only note I had to read.

Town saw Hannibal at Fandom Island Counseling lookin' for a secretary, an' Lucille stopped by for a visit after her shift at Groovy Tunes. Hey! My TA works there. Shout out to Groovy Tunes! Lucille spotted a Silence hidin' away in the shelves at the store, though, so watch out for that, y'all.

An' I'm out! Have a good day, y'all.

What up folks? This is DJ Hardison here, nursin' a cup of coffee an' a tiny pile of notes. Here's hopin' I can get through this without noddin' off, so let's do this.

Over in School, Urban Survival were goin' over lists of necessities, tryna figure out what people really need to survive an' what they don't. Student discussion got pretty intense. In Pokemon Goin' Deadpool had people walk for an hour in order to get eggs to hatch, though some folks walked only as far as the Perk. An' in the Library, some of the books were horrified by the internet an' Peridot wisely decided not to see what they were lookin' at.

As someone who was on the internet today, that was probably for the best, Peridot. Trust.

In the Dorms, Ringo went to bed early, which my boyfriend shoulda done over in Town cause he was up at stupid o'clock this mornin' with dreams.

An' I'm done, so it's naptime for me. Bye y'all, have a great day.

What? It's Thursday already? That don't seem right. Wasn't it just Thursday the other day? Now that I got my external batteries goin' an' rigged up with solar panels, it's hard to keep track of what day it is cause I don't have to go inside that often to charge my phone. But, yo, I am hatchin' eggs like nobody's business. Ten kilometer eggs ain't nothin' once you get a good clip goin'.

*Chittering*

Yeah, yeah, Leroy, I'm gettin' on with it. I gotta get back out there anyway. So School had a bunch of last classes--wow, we at finals already?--like Outdoorsmanship 101 had a water balloon fight after Eliot lectured 'em on the dangerous people who can live in the woods. LIKE RACIST MILITIAS! There you are, mindin' your own business, pullin' a perfectly legit con, dressed up like an IRS agent an' suddenly you're surrounded by a buncha rednecks with guns. It ain't pretty, yo. Speakin' of pretty, however, Sex Ed went to Dite's Decadent Delights, an' Constantine was sad that he ain't never seen Didi in a corset. An' now I need to see if that place actually sells corsets cause--ahem. Never mind. Movin' quickly on, How To Be Awesome talked about figuring out when things weren't bein' awesome. Like when racist militias are involved.

Dorms saw Ezra readin' magazines until Dante stopped over with cake an' then they engaged in wholesome activities la la la la.

Town was busy today, with Lucille at Groovy Tunes unpluggin' everything she could find once the music system turned on her. That...sounds ominous, okaaaay. Wonka's had a new display, courtesy of Ezra, until Ada stopped by lookin' for somethin' sweet, which I'm sure wasn't a euphemism at all.

*Chittering*

Wait, it wasn't? For real?

*More chittering*

Well, Ernestine don't lie, so I guess it wasn't. Huh. Anyway, Hannibal continued to see patients at Fandom Counseling Services an' Psychiatry, with Sparkle stoppin' by to say hello.

An' that's all, so I'm out! Have a good day, Fandom!

Hey Fandom, this is-- *angry chittering* What do you mean you didn't think I was here? Where the heck would I be? *More chittering* You thought I died huntin' pocket monsters on my phone? That's just rude as hell! Naw, I'm here an' I'm fine an' I'd like to get this broadcast underway if y'all will be so kind.

So, yeah, now that we've agreed that rumors of my death've been greatly exaggerated, let's hop over to School, where Outdoorsmanship 101 got to explore Frankticon VII which sounds more like a fan convention than a planet. Sex Ed had a movie day, cause Constantine was hung--err, was indisposed. See, I got you, fam. An' How to be Awesome was straight up canceled.

Man, is it just me or is the island been creepily quiet recently. We must be still recoverin' from the screamin' sun.

Anyway, over in Dorms, Lucille woke up an' WASN'T a moth, which is good for everybody to do. Also wakin' up was Dante who was lookin' for his cigarettes before rememberin' he quit, an' Anders brought him a muffin' an' then there was cuddlin' an' talk of who gets to worry who, after Dante...why does it mention him bein' worried about where his insides were?! Dammit, y'all! Insides are s'posed to remain inside, s'why they call 'em that! An' then it led to makin' out an', y'know, I'm startin' to wonder how much of that is just some damn coping mech--

*angry chittering*

I'm bein' told that my job is to read notes, not play armchair psychologist. I'd like to note that ain't neither of these my job, since I ain't gettin' paid. But anyway, we have notes in Town, where Pinkie was bouncin' down Pie Lane a street I did not know existed until just now, when she ended up buyin' a damn party store. Which I also did not know existed till now. Kitty was just as excited as Pinkie--pics or it didn't happen--an' promised to buy a party cannon. Kanan was in the Park an' found himself leadin' a parade of animals an' people, all in rapid succession. First came Hannibal, who was out for a jog an' they talked about employment opportunities for Kanan, assumin' his Pied Piper gig don't pan out. Then Cecil was walkin' an' stopped to coo at a dog a lot. Bob wasn't walkin' or joggin', but found himself in the park anyway, an' informed Kanan the cute dog probably belonged to him now. Which is the way ownership over anythin' works in Fandom, just ask Eliot. Jalian was trainin' an' complainin' how the bright lights an' colors hurt her eyes. An' lastly, Peter who was just hangin' outside, talked with Kanan about how ownership just happens, just like I said previously.

Yo, who do I gotta bother to get folks to visit me this much? *Chittering* What do you mean actually show up for work? I don't even work there! A'ight Fandom, have a good day, this is Hardison, signin' off!

Sup, island, this is Hardison, here reportin' on what y'all did yesterday before I head back out an' see what I can catch on my phone this mornin'. Also, is it just me, or does this island need a lot more stops, huh? I feel like I'm always outta balls an--

*Squirrely sniggering*

Shut up, Leroy, you know what I mean. Shut up 'fore I feed you to my dragon. So, okay, School, we started with Outdoorsmanship, where Eliot taught the class how to get potable water an' find edible plants in the wilderness. The class paid attention an' then went out to scavenge for provisions on their own. Hyacinthe an' Ringo tried to figure out if the plant they were lookin' at matched the plant in the picture, cause, let's be real, most plants look alike, you know? Eliot was surprised when I showed up, an' proceeded to abandon my ass in the woods for, like no reason.

*Squirrely objections*

Payin' attention to my phone huntin' for AR monsters ain't a good enough reason to be abandoned. Shut up, Leroy. Again.

In How to be Awesome, Jackson had people talk about what they did to feel awesome. Isabela mentioned gettin' some ryncol from the locals an' that just sounds like a terrible idea. Even more terrible was Roscoe's idea to join her. An' once Ada discovered what ryncol is, she was also jumpin' on the bad idea bandwagon. Yo, someone needs to do some kinda PSA or afterschool special for these kids. Sex Ed covered some of the dangers in the other preferred unhealthy coping mechanism for this town, discussin' STDs an' how to use condoms. That included a hands-on demo of how to roll a condom on a banana, accompanied by a lot of blushin' when students had to do it for themselves. Ringo did not seem to appreciate Dante tryna help her with the assignment.

An' lastly, Obi-Wan was havin' office hours an' Kanan came by to talk for a bit. They discussed the F--hmm. You know, I get a feelin' this should stay between them. They had a talk, that was all.

Dorms were quiet, but Town had Lucille at Groovy Tunes listenin' to black metal an' Ezra at Wonka's was settin' up a display of chocolate figurines. An' that's all for today, folks.

Now if y'all excuse me, I gotta claim that gym in Town!

'Sup Fandom, it's me, your host Hardison, whole an' human once again an' man, let me tell you how good it feels not to be plush, yo. I cannot stress enough how glad I'm back to bein' me, an' not just because it saves alla us from listenin' to that crazy vampire chick again.

( Talky talky talky! )

An' that's the last of the news an' someone should get Eliot an' Parker over here cause I think my...fourth?...shot might've been one shot too many. *Thunk*

*Open air, followed by amused chittering before the broadcast ends*

These notes are on a damn cocktail napkin. A'ight then. Let's just get to it.

School had Modern Shakespeare coverin' Tamin' of the Shrew an' feminism. As you do. In Workin' With Jerks, the teachers debated gettin' into fights with jerks on social media. Steve an' Tony kept up the argument durin' class, with Steve sayin' you should always stand up for what's right an' Tony pointin' out that sometimes folks ain't in the position to do so. Hate to say it, Brooklyn, but Tony's right. That's when you call some folks who can provide a little more...leverage.

Heh.

In Eliot's Yes, You Can Cook, he covered bakin', which is actually chemistry an' magic mixed into one, wrapped in an enigma. Trufax, yo.

Nothin' happened in the Dorms, but in Town, Alana was dealin' with lobsters at Book Haven, in both music and real life. Sounds like fun, except not.

An' that's the end of my cocktail napkin, so enjoy!

Mornin' Fandom. Time for another round of findin' out what y'all did in creepy detail! This is your host, Hardison, along with all the squirrels that made this show possible. Leroy, stop wavin' your hands, this ain't somethin' for you to be proud of.

School was pretty busy today. First up was Modern Shakespeare who watched a documentary today about the history an' endurance of Shakespeare's works. Ain't sure why the squirrels are snickerin' about that, but they are. Then in Workin' With Jerks, the main topic of the day was...somethin' called Hulk yoga?

*Aggrieved chitterering*

Ain't the main point? Then why is it in all caps an' underlined twice? Fine! *Deep sigh* 'Scuse me, we had a correction. Seems that the point of the lecture was about what to do when a coworker leaves an' you get stuck with their duties, not Hulk yoga. Dipper negotiated for cake, while Steve and Tony talked about how gross protein shakes are. An' if Tony's ever said anythin' nice about Steve. Yo, who wouldn't say nice stuff about Steve? Other than bein' wrong about baseball an' pizza, he's a'ight. Jono was in his office, listenin' to music, which the squirrels assure me is for class an' not just cause he felt like it. Lastly, Eliot's class in the community center, Yes You Can Cook practiced their grillin' technique. That's just s'posed to be a food thing, not an interrogation, Steve, so I hope any questions you had about Eliot's time in the military were strictly friendly an' welcomed.

Over in the Dorms, Ada was in the second floor common room, cookin' up edible glitter. C'mon, little mama, you really think the island needs the help? Then Dante--oh lord, what am I gonna haveta read--came in with a rabbit that was actually Roscoe an' they talked about the arcade games Dante got for his place back home. An'...is that it? Woo! That's it! Ain't had to read nothin' embarrassin' yay!

Last up, we got Town, Hannibal was also listenin' to music--no word if it was for class--until Kanan stopped by for coffee while Hannibal made dinner.

An' that's all for today folks. Talk at y'all next week!

Mornin' Fandom an' you're listenin' to the smooth tones of DJ Hardison bringin' you the all the news hits of Town, Dorms, an' School. *Papers rustling.* A'ight, actually, it looks only like like School today, where Modern Shakespeare watched Scotland, PA, a retellin' of Macfinlay, an' Workin' With Jerks had everyone wearin' Get-Along shirts, an invention I'm glad my Nana ain't heard of when we were kids. The squirrels in the studio seem mixed between laughin' hysterically at the idea of Tony an' Steve in one big shirt an' sobbin' cause Steve's wearin' shirts again. Also, y'all? Stop tryna steal Steve's shirts. He was complainin' about that to Tony after class.

Later in Yes, You Can Cook, which is a dirty lie if you share a kitchen with Eliot, learned about starches, which include rice, ramen, an' the outside of Hot Pockets. Ringo had no idea how folks cook rice without a rice cooker--the answer is a microwave probably--an' Jaina had no idea how her rice turned to mush. Vanessa an' Deadpool just thought about orderin' in delivery. Which, I'mma say, valid lifestyle choice. I approve.

An' that's it for the news, so y'all have a great day. I'm out!

...How the hell are y'all even here? We're out in the middle of the ocean, yo! Back on Earth! Y'all couldn't have found anyone else to cover for me?

*Chittering*

There was a scary vampire that threatened to eat you an' then you went to the witch an' she said if you wake the baby, she'd skin you alive? I threaten you all the ti--Y'all are laughin'. What? I ain't scary?! I'll have you know, I'm plenty scary! Why I could--

*Chittering continues*

Only when I'm bein' mind-controlled? Leroy, that ain't even right. Just gimme the damn notes, I ain't got time for this.

Nothin' in School, cause we're on vacation, or at least some of us are. Save for how we're gettin' stalked by goddamn rodents. In Dorms, Anders laid claim to the third floor common room to watch cookin' reality shows to distract him from some research he was doin'. Anders, yo, what research? You're on break! Rey didn't get the premise of the show, but they ended up splittin' pizza an' popcorn, so somethin' good came outta it. Rey, if you're still confused when classes begin again, ask Eliot. He loves cookin' reality shows *Chuckles.* Then Alluka brought her elephant in to say hello to Anders an' they talked about makin' new friends an'...oh. They were both friends of Kathy's. I see. Uhh, Anders, you research whatever you want, a'ight? Whatever works for you.

Anyway, in Town, Alana was at Book Haven an' gettin' annoyed with the candy that was blowin' in an' stickin' to the books. Ugh, now I'm just imaginin' the hell it's gonna play on my electronics. Dammit, space! Why you gotta keep disappointin' me?! An' at Stark's, Cosima was also disappointed by space when she found out that the alien space-candy was just regular candy like you could get on Earth. Once again provin' that space is actually the worst, dammit.

A'ight, that's all for notes, now scram an' let me finish enjoyin' my vacation!

Hey, Fandom, this is Hardison. Looks like it's gon' be a short radio today. Just notes from School. Looks like everybody else is studyin' or quietly missin' their kids or whatever. Anyway, Jack of All Trades had its final today, where the class had to demonstrate one skill they learned this semester, then they were free to go have pizza. Art of War got pastries, cause feedin' your class is a proud tradition, an' talked about the results of their information gathering. They also touched on the highlights of what they learned over the semester. An' last, in Weapon Safety, the class got to practice on whatever weapon they liked best.

An' that appears to be it for the news. C'mon Fandom! Be more fun than this! Y'all are allowed to be quiet this week, till your finals are done, but I expect you to be a lot livelier come the weekend!