WTFH

Goooood morning, everyone! It is me, Tahani al-Jamil, and if you don't have your prom dress by now you are in trouble.

I shall be in green, so no one match me.

*chittering*

Of course it's a reasonable request to make, Leroy. Onto our classes! Dinosaurs talked about--you may have guessed already--dinosaurs, this time from the Cretaceous period. And no one has been eaten by a dinosaur yet. Where do I register my complaint about that? Maybe that's the final exam? Photography was assigned their final project, Art made pinatas, and we watched a film in Tea class.

In town, Shunsui reminded Apu at T&C that they always wear pink on Wednesdays, Irene was researching bunny care at her...rather specific...shop, Nancy refused to answer the phone at her place of business, and the heat wave has melted Tiny's ski resort at the Devil's Nest. Connor and Cutter had a Chinese takeaway dinner date, and Caritas featured Summer rightfully judging Tino for pretending to read a book that didn't even have words in it. Goose asked for double shots now that he was 21, which brings up a score of questions about how many double shots he drank before that, Annie was concerned about the mixed messages Summer was sending by going to prom with Stark while also telling him she needed space, and Stark brought Summer a plushy gelatinous cube before they talked about what crime against food class they would teach this summer. Stark also learned about Steven's adventures in Passover observations before they depressed each other talking about loneliness and family. And that was still on Steven's mind when he talked with Summer about found family and Marc having an ex-girlfriend who is apparently a real person!

*chittering*

Well, I am a little surprised, frankly, Leroy. And then Steven and Watts were talking about how much they liked dating each other and everyone around them needed to get their cavities checked.

*chittering*

I am summarizing, Leroy. Watts was happy to be finished with Passover eating restrictions and that admission sent him and Summer into a discussion about religions and joining cults. Do not join a cult. Unless it's a really interesting cult, like Scientology. And that's enough wisdom for today! See everyone at prom tomorrow!

Good morning, everyone! It's me, Tahani al-Jamil, which makes today Tuesday. Let's get to the news of yesterday, shall we?

*chittering*

It's mostly people going to work, I'm told. Thrilling.

In classes, Napping went to Sweden, Paintball had pairs, at least one of which shot each other, Disaster went to the Isle of Ikea, and Pop Culture learned about Pride.

In town, Sakaki was updating the shelter's social media with the antics of their newest puppy, Hot Firefighter Eddie did inventory at the firehouse, and Eliot was rejecting people on Grindr--an excellent pastime. Steven paid Stark a visit at the clinic, where Stark revealed his glee that the dean had done poorly in paintball. And now everyone knows. Steven was also at the museum discussing Pride exhibits with Connor. Dwight and Terrifying Rosa exchanged silent greetings at the Perk, Steph got Vi some new clothes at Magpie Emporium, and Liz stopped into T&C in what I am assured is an adorable new haircut. Finally, Tattoos set the Troopers to drills to be better at tug-of-war, Diego was making donut art at J,GOB, and Eric was yelling at Tiny about the water feature in the axe range at the Devil's Nest.

And that's everything! See you at Shenanigans!

*Carol of the Bells*
*Carol of the Bells*
*Carol of the Bells*
*CAROL OF THE GODDAMN BELLS and then finally, shouting over Carol of the Freaking Bells, Tahani*

Good morning everyone, and a very merry "almost the end of exams week" to all who are celebrating. I do hope I see you before I jet off to Fiji tomorrow--

*annoyed chittering*

Leroy, Summer would never forgive me if I took you from her. Of course you are not invited. In classes, Maths played a final exam game called Proof, Engineering wrote a final essay, and Modern World prepared students for how to avoid their families this Christmas. Was faking your own death an option? No reason, really.

In town, Astrid dealt with the ding-dong-ditch gremlins, Shunsui was not dealing with Apu's new obsession with pearl necklaces--

*wheezy squirrel laughter*

Octavia was busy on her phone at her shift at the Devil's Nest, Will and Tattoos counted calories at Mooby Land, and Jon wrote Jo a positive report regarding her literature class. And finally, Caritas was serving lemon-themed shots and offering specials for blacksmiths and karaoke singers. Liz and Prompto sang, and everyone else came in to drink, though no one, starting with Rey, was drinking the shot with crab in it.

*chittering*

I know it's spelled with a K, but you're squirrels. You misspelled Summer three different ways here. Rey was wondering how long her boyfriend should stay a parrot before she got worried. I'd say it's brave of you to admit to dating a bird at all, Rey. Rey and Stark aught up on their relatively quiet lives. The music today will definitely fix that for you. Goose and Summer talked about how useful a class on overturning evil galactic empires will be--what--Liz ordered a beer to calm her karaoke nerves, and Prompto was there, also acting like a complete spaz. Dwight told Summer about his mistletoe-related kisses, Miguel asked about lemon in the crab--

*chittering*

krab shots--and Jon was celebrating his class being over. That is very hurtful to us students, Jon. Annie offered to film Summer's bartending skills, and Jessica said hello to Annie after being gone forever. Barry did his boyfriendly duty of being impressed by Summer's cocktail making prowess, and Jessica drank bourbon and didn't sing. New Rosa was inducted into Wednesdays at Caritas, and Lucifer was very excited that he got to go fishing with his boyfriend.

Well, Lucifer is very old, so that explains why he enjoys grandpa activities. Amaya was there for the blacksmith special, and then she and Dwight got into a shot drinking contest.

*pause during which Carol of the Bells continues to play*

So I'm sure a day of music playing is simply delightful to them. Enjoy that!

*CAROL OF THE BELLS*
*CAROL OF THE BELLS*

No, thank you, I don't want a soda this early in the morning.

No. Thank. You.

*loooooong pause*

Well, being guilt-tripped by a polar bear was certainly a new experience. I'm quite certain Bono never has this happen. Hello, it's Tahani al-Jamil here and let's get to the news! In classes, Maths had a quiz now that their original teacher has returned with two weeks left in the semester. What a delightful work ethic! Engineering went on a field trip to their teacher's home world, and the Modern World finally got around to explaining airports. They were appalled that you have to take your shoes off to get through security, as they should be. Do you know how many people refuse to get pedicures?!

In town, Astrid was using her phone app to translate what the singing animals from yesterday were saying. Shunsui let Apu carry on with decorating T&C with holiday...ish...lights--go down today to see what I mean--and then you can also see the festive display Irene's shop has up right now.

*chittering*

Of course it's suggestive. It's a sex shop. Illyana was making the singing dolls disappear at the Magic Shop, and Jon expressed his exasperation about them to Jo at the Perk because the dolls apparently all have extremely dirty little mouths, which Jon could understand just fine. Finally, over at Caritas, Summer had shoved all of the dolls into the storage room, so hopefully they didn't just turn into polar bears over night because that could be extremely awkward. Jon complimented Eliot on his singing voice and choice of song, Seivarden made very sure that Summer knows how much she hates December on this island, and Summer got to be the one to tell Billy all about what to expect here at the holidays.

Chaos and at least one shower in eggnog. That's what you can expect. Stark took the dolls in stride as well as whatever shots Summer had made this week, Annie was there for party planning for Friday night--not that I'm going, I'll be in Ibiza for Posh Spice's do--and poor Doctor Will got fortifying alcohol before Summer and Stark explained December in Fandom to him.

At least it's not the mistletoe with boundary issues. Yet.

Summer tried to sell Eliot on crab salad flavored Jello shots--why--and Jesse came to the bar straight from the sewer. Again. Why. Lucifer took one of the crab shots home because he is literally the devil, of course, Goose talked about the weird dolls, and Jon came in and was very unhappy that the dolls were here too.

Well, now they aren't. Now there are bears. Is that really better? This has been Tahani al-Jamil, heading far, far away for the weekend. Farewell!

Good morning, it's Tahani al-Jamil and I'm here to brighten your day with the news of yesterday! Let's begin with classes, shall we? Maths learned about measurements with substitute teacher Mr. Amacita and then went out and measured things, and Engineering class learned about civil engineering.

The dorms were quiet--I got rid of last season's clothing, if you must know--and in town, Astrid was incorporating pumpkins into floral decorations, Shunsui was enjoying Thanksgiving-themed candy corn I REGRET NOTHING until he meets new person Billy looking for supplies before he leaves again. Oh, he is terribly new, isn't he? You're not leaving, Billy. Rosa was emailing her fellow teachers about some sort of heist--you get invasively close, squirrels--Jo recovered from the running portion of Maths class with hot chocolate and Eliot discovered the onsen. Anakin and Rey caught up over bear claws about their trips last week.

And that's everything! Have a good weekend.

Hello, it is Tahani al-Jamil, so that makes today Thursday! Let's get right to the notes today, shall we?

In classes, Maths had their third teacher in as many weeks and this time they learned about fractions. Engineering learned about civil engineering, and Modern Times learned about credit card fraud.

*chittering*

Well, they did.

Jo was sharing her care package from home in the dorms yesterday, which was very kind.


In town, Astrid had an orchid playing a protest song about the moth invasion--I'll pretend that makes sense if the rest of you will--Goose went for a non-cat shaped run, and T&C has a special on lavender soaps--

*chittering*

Oh. Soups. That's a...choice. Liz Sherman has returned to Fandom, so attention people who know who that is. Alara tried her first pumpkin spice latte, Dwight stopped into Irene's shop to gush about his upcoming trip to Boston, and nothing worth noting occuured in Caritas or the Devil's Nest last night. How refreshing!

And I'm done! Have a good day everyone-but-Clare.

Hello again, it's Tahani al-Jamil which makes today Thursday! We have one more day before our relatives come and ruin everything forever.

*chittering*

I am not being dramatic.

*chittering*

And I will not get you another autograph from my sister, Leroy.

In classes, Maths learned about geometry, Engineering got into mechanical engineering, and Modern Life learned about cell phones.

In town, the flowers were humming lullabies for Astrid, Irene definitely didn't almost shoot a falling light fixture in the...toy shoppe...and Tattoos had to pay Danny in lunch in order to get help with paperwork over at the Trooper Station. The frog baby was painting more pumpkins at the weapons store, Shunsui received an entire itinerary from his guest for the weekend and asked Octavia if he could stow away on her boat instead of dealing with that. At least Annie was excited about her guest?

Eric explained to Octavia that the reason the Devil's Nest is going through so many renovations is because he and Lucifer are giant man-babies.

*chittering*

I'm summarizing. Summer was obsessively checking her phone between Jello shots at Caritas. She talked with Goose about the dates last week--he got set up with Dr. Lecter, who'd taught him as a student, so that's awkward--and then Summer told Stark that last week she'd been dealing with a clone of her mom and stopping a planet being destroyed and sorry, Goose, but her story is better. Rey got more details--Summer's mom has been leading a revolution!!--and then Lucifer told Summer that his therapist is stuck in this universe and not her normal one.

Well, she's a therapist, so hopefully she has, erm, tools to adjust to that? And then Jesse got her generic beer and to hear that Summer can never have a normal dinner with her family. I know that feeling, though not, perhaps, the cloned mother and the revolution parts.

And that's all I have! Please, please don't fawn over Kamilah when she's here. She gets enough of that at home.

Good morning everyone, it is I, Tahani al-Jamil here with the news of yesterday, where no one was being visibly mad. It's a nice change for us, honestly.

In classes, Maths got their exams returned and they reviewed multiplication and division. Let me make it abundantly clear that I will not be making a habit of going into depth about maths class. Modern World learned about TikTok, and Engineering discussed important milestones in engineering, which makes sense in an engineering course.

Jo was enjoying too much Chinese food--is there ever really too much Chinese food?--in the dorms and in town, T&C was having an ampersand-based sale and I take back what I said before about no one being visibly mad. Dite's has seasonal...products, Goose was checking messages and eating a muffin at J,GOB, and Margo was at the Devil's Nest after having a run-in with the free alcohol at Caritas last week. I barely noticed anything wrong with me, aside from having fabulous nails and Alexis not knowing when Christmas was.

Which, for the record, is not at the end of this month. This is a news program and the facts must be stated. Eliot and Margo talked about what champagne they would have commissioned in their kingdom--I'm sure my dear friend Prince Harry could offer some tips--and then Eliot taught Octavia how to make a Pimm's Cup. And how bold to still be drinking one into September, though I suppose the weather is still warm enough. Nothing as posh as a Pimm's Cup over at Jello shot night at Caritas, of course. Stark thought they sounded better than last week's and then he and Summer talked about the classes they were teaching this semester. Seivarden had figured out the subtle "honey" theme to the shots--which wasn't subtle, it's in all of their names--and said that this week was better than last because she wasn't tied up and stuffed in a closet.

That is a pretty low bar to clear, it's true. Goose was drinking--but not excessively because he'd learned a lesson--and was pleased to be able to finish sentences without pausing dramatically in the middle of them any longer. Summer and Lucifer complained about their fathers and segued into their respective romantic relationships which I am sure is not at all linked. Jesse didn't drink generic beer, which the squirrels tell me is actually really big news, and Summer felt left out because she hasn't fought a giant sentient Mars Bar.

*long pause*

Right. Jon and Summer debated if you were drinking a Jello shot or eating one, and I shall ponder that all week and tell my conclusions next time! Byeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Good morning, everyone, it's Tahani al-Jamil, here once again to brighten your lives with the news of yesterday, most of which involves sleepy people shooting each other with ink that spoiler alert, does NOT come out of linen. Dean Skywalker, expect my dry cleaning bill.

In case you weren't there, the dean decided to arm almost 30 people with guns that shot ink and some people--Alexis--should not have that kind of weaponry. Neither should that felt eagle or Beaker. Stark told Steve with the Shoulders that despite it not being paintball day, he was still going to try to shoot Anakin. I'll leave that to everyone's imagination for how that went. Lana assured Alara that she wouldn't break the ink gun, Dwight was upset his shirt was too small except that he'd taken Alexis', and Prompto made Clare's weapon more lethal which helped her not at all. Travis wondered if yellow ink would show up on blue shirts and Stark suggested just shooting at white shirts instead. Then Travis was going to hide behind Dwight, who encountered gremlins for the first time because of course the dean had armed them, too.

In town, Shunsui received texts from Octavia while he worked his shift at T&C and I am deeply concerned about how close the squirrels were to learn that detail. Astrid was offering 10 percent off for anyone who brought her coffee at Covent Gardens, and Dwight came with coffee and left with plants. Summer discovered Tino trying to break the record for the world's longest Jaegerbomb train. Oh, Tino. No. Don't. Seivarden came to ask if Jaegerbombs actually explode and to invite Summer to binge watch some sort of alien entertainment. Rey told Summer that she wasn't having a bad feeling about whatever she feels coming this weekend so that's...strange and not reassuring. Stark also thinks the feeling is familiar.

WHAT FEELING. I FEEL NOTHING.

Hmph. This is Tahani al-Jamil and I'm sure it's just adults being strange. Talk to you next week unless I have a pedicure!


[OOC: And the Field of Dreams NFB post is here.]

Good morning, everyone! It is Tahani al-Jamil back again with your latest news.

*aggrieved chittering*

No, I don't know why Loretta got a GoPro. I didn't even know her name was Loretta. Moving on to important, non-squirrel matters now, Dean Skywalker was back in the park being mad in front of groups again. This time it was making Human Ice Cream Sundaes by throwing ice cream and various toppings at designated victims Troy and Faye. I'd say I'm sorry I missed this but I'm not remotely sorry to have missed this. And speaking of ice cream, yesterday people got stuck inside the ice cream shop.

*chittering*

Yes, which has new ice cream flavors. Thank you for your comprehensive reporting. And Anakin got stuck there and that's why he was late for Shenanigans. Alexis was worried being late for her Uber would mess up her customer star rating--it will--Rosa was happy enough to have breakfast ice cream, as was Alara, and Ben declared it the best day ever, aside from his wedding and the birth of his children.

Ben needs higher standards for best. Five was not happy to be there--but is Five ever happy? Really? Unless he's tasering his brother?

Apu was taking a monkey to lunch at T&C--you can't see my face but it is very judgmental--

*chittering*

Apparently you can see Loretta later if you wish to see my judgmental face. Astrid was adding hole-related art to the postcards she sells at the flower shop, and Summer left Caritas in Tino's semi-capable hands so she could go to Rey's birthday party. Everyone chatted, of course--Jaskier made Silver assure him that the Western saloon holosuite mixup could happen to absolutely anyone--and Danny told Tattoos that all of the glitter better be cleaned up when the party was finished. I'm certain that did not happen. Annie and Danny--oh, that rhymes!--wondered if this Olde West Saloon had sarsaparilla, which Annie likes and Danny thinks is vile. Tattoos learned from Liam that #NotAllRaccoons has gone viral and that's just...how do raccoons even know about social media?

*chittering*

That tells me nothing. How would mice know either?

Summer brought Jello shots to the party, much to Cade's delight. Who's Cade? And then everyone stopped over to say hello to the birthday girl. Summer assured Rey that she could be very low key--lies--and Rey pretended to be disappointed that Silver wasn't wearing his cowboy costume from Halloween to properly appreciate the saloon theme of the night. Annie told Rey that sometimes people celebrating their 21st birthday can turn the event into an entire month of parties--Bono does that when he's turning 43. He's that person--and Anakin and Rey looked forward to their Friday training sessions. I'm assuming it's because the Dean is poorly socialized. Oh, speaking of poorly socialized, Tattoos took this moment of a birthday party to talk about meditation and sniping. What. Is. Wrong. With. You. Stark was surprised there was so much glitter, but Rey said that the island seemed to generate it for parties and they both agreed it was better than making terrible foods to feed to Captain Rogers while hanging out in a hole.

I still don't think there was really a hole. Liam was apologizing for the hole to Rey and Rey said it was fine because they had a bowling alley which only reinforces this ridiculousness. Nothing is made better by a bowling alley. Jaskier came by to say that the saloon wasn't entirely on purpose, but Rey loved it anyway because it was her first birthday party ever. Oh, that's even more tragic than loving bowling alleys.

And on that sad note, I'm out of news! Have a lovely week, Fandom!

Good morning, Fandom, it is I, Tahani al-Jamil, here with the news of yesterday!

*chittering*

Oh, thank you, Leroy! I do love this color on me.

*chittering*

Of course it's not Alexis'. And even if it was, it's much more suited to my colouring. It was positively wasted in her closet. If it had been in her closet. Which it wasn't.

*dubious chittering*

No one asked you. Let's move onto the notes, shall we?

Dean Skywalker had us all meeting in the park again yesterday, despite the problem with holes that I haven't seen. If everyone's falling in all over the place, where is the evidence? I think people are just going on vacation and everyone is overreacting.

*chittering*

Oh, wait. Rey "fell in a hole"--there were sarcastic air quotes there, in case you couldn't hear them--and so the little green frog child in the pod is now Faye's to watch. I would like to state that I am not qualified to watch anyone. And I don't think there was really a hole.

Back to the park. We all played whack-a-mole by hiding in inflatable holes and jumping up and down to capture balls while Jaye and I smacked everyone with inflatable mallets. It was quite enjoyable, at least for Jaye and I. Clare and Belle wondered if the Dean had more inflatable mallets for everyone--no, just for Jaye and me because we were special--and Tattoo Steve asked Anakin if he had contact information for the donut raccoons. Who would want to contact a raccoon?

*chittering*

Exactly. Squirrels are much nicer. The dean sent an email to the faculty telling them they had to stop using the fake holes as excuses not to hold class--

*irritated chittering*

I'm extrapolating. But then he had to help Bob find a way to type because Bob is a hologram or a ghost and honestly, I haven't paid that much attention. Tattoos took his complete lack of raccoon information and went back to the police station and just started...kidnapping raccoons or something? You're very cute, Tattoos, but this seems a tad unhinged.

Shunsui believes that we should all nap more and avoid holes that way and I must say, that's a very compelling argument. We should also use more essential oils. Lemongrass is just so calming, isn't it? Tattoos, that is definitely a hint aimed at you.

Summer was in Caritas with her usual jello shots, and Annie came by to make sure she was still here. It's Wednesday. Of course Summer was at Caritas. Jesse thought that maybe the island is doing a bit of rearranging and that's why the buildings are moving around. Frankly, we didn't need a bowling alley anyway. Ugh, so tacky. And sticky. Miguel wanted to know what Summer knows about the situation because Summer is some kind of hole expert? And Tattoos--I am tired of reading about you today, Tattoos, calm down--was there for a drink.

And that's all the news I have. If you're hungover and don't want to go anywhere for a while, just admit that. Don't pretend you fell in a hole.

TAHANI: Hello, everyone, it is I, Tahani al-Jamil, here to brighten your days with the gossip of yesterday and also with whatever Dean Skywalker tortured you with. I missed it by scheduling a hair appointment at that time. You should all follow my lead.

*blooping teleport sound*

( Oh, look, a visitor! )

Yesterday was exhausting, and yet here I am to deliver the news to you! I am rather heroic, I think. This is, of course, Tahani al-Jamil with the news.

*dead air*

I was told there would be a fanfare like Troy and Astrid get.

*sound of squirrel halfheartedly playing a kazoo*

Well. That's better than nothing. Barely. Let's head to the park first as usual, shall we? It was Field Day. People arrived and mingled: Silver was there to enjoy his girlfriend competing when she wasn't turning into a princess, a barista, or an animal. Travis was in his full firefighter uniform and Beaker was insulted because he hadn't set anything on fire yet, and then Travis and Stark got kind of flirty even though Stark was a woman at the time, and that led to kissing and bouts of shirtlessness. The volunteers arrived with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Stark reacted by removing his mask and glowing everywhere, which was very impressive to the small green kid, and he and Faye got very close until Faye turned into a fairy. They decided to blame Anakin. Then we all had to do games even as people turned into children and birds and jumped through windows and fell asleep on beds and pulled weapons.

In dorms, Harry was flying a broom inside the second floor common room. Belle was very impressed with his flying until he tried to kiss her. Clare and Belle got into a fight about a book, and the book made an appearance again as Clare was angry that Harry's flying was interrupting her reading time, especially since she sat in American chocolate pudding at the park during the day. I'm going to assume it was because of a game and not some sort of life choice. Harry was much more concerned about Sakaki being bit by a cat than Sakaki was, and Clare was on about the pudding she had to sit in again. Harry kept kissing Five and then falling asleep and there is a word for that, Harry, but I don't think it necessitated Five pulling weapons on you. And Belle and Five hugged and I have some squirrels here with glitter flags who are very excited right now. And finally Nell was making it turn into a meadow as she sat in the common room, which might have bothered Lana more if she hadn't turned into a weird volcanic dog.

And in town, Shunsui was drinking sake at T&C--understandable--and Astrid was full of ennui at the flower shop. I'm certain that didn't last. Annie was getting Barry to remove a tracking device from her arm and it made Diego pass out, and Wayne opened his new shop only to have Travis show up with a chainsaw and then ogle him when Wayne went shirtless. Hannibal arrived as a one-eyed pirate and then turned into a cat and so, welcome to Fandom, Wayne. We are not on powerful narcotics, though I can see how you may believe that. There was yelling at the Trooper Station, but it's Danny and Tattoos, so that's not all that unusual? The shirtlessness might be, and the horse definitely was. And Travis came into the Trooper Station with a chainsaw too--Travis, stop it with the chainsaw--and started out complaining and ended up trying to kiss Danny.

Over at Caritas, there was more chaos. Seivarden and Summer got into a fight after Seivarden tried to kiss her twice, Stark kept taking off his mask and glowing at Summer, who was strangely okay with that? And Rey was reassuring and randomly armed for Stark, too. Rey and Summer were very emotional at each other--at least when Summer would stay still and in the same outfit--and Wanda tried to hug and kiss Summer for a PB&J shot, which seems...an excessive reaction. Barry decided to blame Tino for why he was a pony, then a dog, then a child, and made sure to tell Jesse his theory. Jesse, though, was pretty blase despite turning into a bird in the middle of a bar.

Well. That was certainly the most drama-filled day we've had in a while. Keep kissing random strangers, everyone! I'll see you next week.

Good morning, everyone, it is me, Tahani al-Jamil, here to tell you all about the ridiculousness in the park and everything else that occurred yesterday!

We'll start in the park, though. Summer and Barry talked before the event began--mostly about Summer's cat--and then Dean Skywalker called names and I had to wear polyester socks that looked like meat!

*chittering*

Of course that was the most important part of what happened. We were placed in four teams of five and each given matching pairs of hideous socks for team unity or something similar--Tattoo Steve and Wanda started talking about socks and then moved on to talking about Steve With the Arms, who is a friend from Wanda's work--and only Duke seemed to understand the depth of my feelings about the socks we had received. Stark and Faye wondered if this event was set up for the dean to punish them in particular and honestly, I wouldn't put it past him. Then we all had to lay on the ground with our ugly socks in the air, get a hugely heavy container of water placed on them and take our socks off until Sakaki tipped the whole thing over.

At least that's what happened to my team. I presume the winners--Team Chicken Toes--were rather more successful, but no one walked away dry. Stark, at least, was deeply unhappy about this and promised to make up for it in paintball class, which the dean seemed not at all worried about?

In town, Shunsui was using the quiet parts of his shift at T&C to work on his writing, Astrid worked at the flower shop but moved her lunch break to allow her to also do the shenanigans--that was an error yesterday--and Tattoo Steve made Danny laugh at the Trooper Station by being entirely soaked from the ridiculous activity the dean set up for us. The Devil's Nest was quiet last night, giving Octavia plenty of time to snack on fruit, but despite Summer's frankly horrifying mayonnaise shot, there were people in Caritas. She even got Seivarden to try one!

Oh, Seivarden. Love yourself more than that. Stark pivoted from complaining about the frozen baked bean popsicle--three words that should never be together--in Summer's Tuesday class to wondering if we should make jellybean cupcakes on Friday and I say yes, please. Nothing terrible had happened to Lucifer, though he did learn that Summer beat up a version of himself on live television and I really think the news is just very, very odd today. And Jesse learned that Summer and Barry met doing shenanigans last year and that's why Summer loves them so much.

That's very sweet. We're just going to stop on that note. Have a good week, everyone! Burn your ugly socks if they can even catch fire.

Good morning, everyone! It's Tahani al-Jamil with the news of yesterday to bring you a brighter tomorrow!

It's not as catchy as Summer and Troy's song, is it?

In classes, Rosa taught everyone how to avoid a hangover, Dr. Aphra tried to get us eaten in her class, Guiding the Powerful introduced their new female king to the court, and Anakin had Nina drop by during his office hours.

In town, Lucifer and Duke were playing 80s music--I love oldies!--at the Devil's Nest, Astrid was wondering if all the forget-me-nots in the flower shop were supposed to remind her of something, Tisarwat was mostly enjoying the music at her shop, and Miles was making art in the warehouse district. Over at Caritas, Tino was already decorating for the holidays. Rosa objected. Kitty met a Jessica Jones who was not the one she'd heard of back in her New York--that's still peculiar to say--and Jessica and Rosa exchanged almost no personal information, which pleased them both very much.

And that's everyting! See you at the assembly.