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Tuesday, January 10th, 2006 02:08 am
[identity profile] crowt-robot.livejournal.com
Good evening students, robots, and various other things living in this town. This is Crow T. Robot, reporting from the pirate's radio broadcast room in lovely Fandom. I hope I don't get scurvy from being in here. Knowing Barbossa's taste for the wenches I guess I should be more afraid of contracting the clap.

Anyways, enough of the STD talk (until we get to the dorm section of course!) it's time to recap all the goings on of Fandom for today.

School for the losers who have to go.
At least you students have got some of those hot female teachers to look at. Dr. Carter I'm looking at you.

In announcement news the main office is available for your add/drop needs. If you add classes you're a geek and if you drop them you are a slacker. So says me! Dr. House wants your blood for God knows what and Principal Smith urges you to stay away from Locker 327. Which actually means "Yes! Go have tea with Locker 327!"

First day of classes and already Lizzie Weir visits Zordon, Dean of Students!. Must be like living in a giant bong. Rock on dude.

Dr. Pierson publishes the syllabus for Medieval English History class. He also recruits Lizzie Weir and Zero as his new TAs. He also puts up the syllabus for his Western Civ class and hires hottie Janet Frasier as his TA. That Dr. Pierson is such a pimp.

Principal Smith holds office hours. Pippi, Walter, Geoff Chaucer, Dream, Logan, Parker, Victor, Anakin Annie and Professor Ted stop by. I won't say any specifics Machine representin'! but I will say it involved HOSTESS CUPCAKES!

Geoff Chaucer also holds office hours where he hires Paige to work at his shop in towns, let's Kiki be his TA, lets Phoebe into his Poetry class and gives the Doctor his "Christmas present". *evil chuckle*

The Tick holds office hours where...a fish and a squid interact. I'll buy that. I once had a conversation with a giant blob of decomposed whale barf. Oh wait, nevermind, that was Joel I was talking to. My mistake.

In Shop class those butch kids made coffee makers. Don't ever drink any coffee from John-Boy Crichton or Yuffie. I wouldn't drink anything strained by DEATH either. Very creative use for a condom though. Biology gets their syllabus. As does Chemistry. In Sociology of Violence, Psych 101, Speech Comm, Carl Jung, Creature Languages, Advanced Communications, Magical Theory, Anthropology, Sociology of the Paranormal, Paleontology and Tactics of War they all do introductions. This means the teachers were too lazy to write up their first lesson and decided to go the easy way out. Slackers! In US History they discussed some cliche quote. Quantum Physics gets a *yawn* class overview. Into of Western Literature had to write a paper already. Poor unlucky bastards. At least Xander and Jake amuse themselves by talking about ferret sex during class.

Hey! In Multidisciplinary Self Defense people are beating each other up for credit. I'd love to see that Kara Thrace in action. Gotta get me some of that. Baby, I know you can hear this. Call me up.

In the Library the book babes meet the new Librarian, who is an orangutan. Don't get him mad ladies or he'll start throwing his own feces. Marty, I'm betting you're already on his poo-throwing list after the crap you pulled today. Heh heh, that was a pun. People also get Library cards. Also in the Library, Parker and Angela gossip like the women they are. Lee and Sam talk like the nerds they are. And Isabel and Janet talk twins like the hot babes they are. Man! The Library is full of hot chicks...and Lee. You may have arms of Adonis buddy but that doesn't put you in my 'hot chicks' category. Sorry.

Also in the Library? Anders gets a Library card. Ok first off? I didn't know Anders could read. And secondly? His name is Samuel Throgmorten Anders. Throgmorten. I'll spell it: T-H-R-O-G-M-O-R-T-E-N. That's not a name, it's an STD. Cally? I'd check for any mysterious sores. You might have a case of the Throgmorten.

In the cafeteria today the big Swedish guy serves...I don't know what the hell this says but the kids seem to enjoy it. Marty tries to tell John-Boy Crichton that he didn't enjoy singing ABBA tunes all day. Which is a load of crap Marty, everyone enjoys singing ABBA tunes. Everyone! He also warns that fine foxy newbie Cordelia about the school's groovy lunches. Principal Smith could be seen in the cafeteria. That man has a gorgeous set of eyebrows. I mean, he works those eyebrows better than Michael Keaton! Kiki tries to make small talk with Yuffie but I think she just ends up creeping her out. Kiki then goes on to make small talk with Ivanova. Kiki and Yuffie. If those aren't the names of two girls who shouldn't star in a porn together... Also seen at lunch are Lee Wee Adama and Mac-that's a student, Shep and Lana and Crunch Buttsteak and his foxy girlfriend Vala Mal-Oh my God! Please go out with me! I would also like it noted that John-Boy Crichton looked at Xander and blushed. Is there something you would like to share with the class, boys? And Blair is a weird monkey freak. And I think John-Boy bought into his monkey business.

In the Clinic is visited by Shep, Pippi, Blair, Alanna, Paige, Victor and Han. I assume they are all going to try to steal drugs. Damn kids and their prescription pain killers. What happened to the good old days of marijuana and spray cans?

Remember Zap Rowsdower says stay in school!

Dorms, where all the co-ed naughtiness goes on.
Let's just say this is the part I'd pay attention to. This is where you get to find out who all the sluts are.

Let's just start with the best news. Ms. Sidle gets in the tub to clean herself off only to get dirty again((NWS)). That's all I'm sayin'.

The usual suspects were in the gym this morning, including Emo-Demon Belthazor, my man Cam, sexy blonde Callisto and my personal favorite, the badass with the heart of gummi bears, Aeryn Sun. But in the gym Bel and Cam talk frustration. Right. I don't want to know. Pip stops in too. But the best part of the gym experience is when Cammie gets his ass handed to him by Aeryn. ((probably))

The Freshmen plan to meet at the pool. Seniors! Now is the time to ambush them and distribute the spankings!

Pippi makes pancakes for everyone and their mother and they begin to plot to investigate the demon locker 327. Luckily Principal Smith foils their plan. Because we don't want to make the Freshmen cry. Right.

The Magic Club wants an adviser and the Self-Defense Club wants attackers.

Cordelia and Kristy get flowers from their secret siblings. You...you get to have sex with them after you meet right? That's the deal with the gifts thing isn't it?

In the second floor common room after classes Maia and Chiana are not fans of this whole blood testing thing. Awwww. Maybe you two should hug each other...without your shirts on. Oh wait, instead they decide to make cookies. And in other sweet (HA!) news: Brothers reunite!.

John-Boy and his cute widdle girlfriend Aeryn are cute and talk classes and Lee stops by to consume John...'s baked goods. Angel is in an good mood this morning after his date with Callisto. I don't see why, he didn't get any.

Rejoice! For Duo returns!

Logan and Jake are BFF. Totally. Oh, their relationship reminds me of my friendship with Servo. It's so cute.

John-Boy is sending out e-mails. My money says there is some naked pictures of Aeryn embedded in there somewhere.

Kawalsky and Lizzie Weir are just too damned cute. No really. Stop it.

In the third floor common room DEATH needs help blowing up condoms. Haven't we all had this problem before? Of course John-Boy hops right in to help. Pervert. Callisto, Rory and Angela also help blowin' up those condoms. I love girls that get right in there and put their mouths to work...heh heh heh. Pretty much everyone and their mother comes up to enjoy the flavored balloons. There is also a water balloon fight and...Rory and Parker explain oral sex to Aeryn. *hysterical laughter* Oh man John-Boy! What have you been doing with her? Playing checkers?! *more laughter*

And to end with another hot bit o' news: Ivanova is locked out of her room. You can come sleep with me, baby.

Fandom: Town of Fate!
Where all the adults of Fandom get to be naughty. Don't think I don't know what goes on in this town. I'm damn robot, I'm programmed with all sorts of intelligence. Ask Joel. And if he says any different it's because he's a dirty jumpsuit wearing stoner.

At Caritas tonight the lonely show up to pour out their angst through song and liquor. But mostly liquor. Darlin' Darla and Lorne exchange in witty and kind of gross banter. Not that I mind. Darla can talk neck biting and sucking with me any time. And I'm not the only one who thinks that; Jack of Jack's Roses fame shows up and gives Darla roses from a secret admirer. I would say they were from me but I'm just not that romantic. Get with the screwin', that's my motto.
Cute blondie Ronnie Mars takes new townie Weevil to Caritas for the first time. He pops his Caritas cherry by singing Bad to the Bone while seasoned vet Ronnie Mars sings Leader of the Pack. Logan Echolls obviously doesn't get that a karaoke bar is meant for singing, not for doing his best "Arthur" impression. Ronnie Mars notices this and goes to state the obvious. It's ok Mars Bar, I like to mock my pathetic ex's too. Mmmm that spicy Nadia comes into the bar and chats with Lorne. Some of it's in Spanish so I will translate:
Nadia: Do you know Spanish?
Lorne: Of course I do! The ladies love it when a man can roll their r's. If you get my meaning and I think you do.
Nadia: Oh Lorne. You've got me so hot I can't stand it!
Lorne: Let me sing you a song about what I want to do to you! (And then gentle listeners he does.)
Nadia: Delicious!
Lorne: You just call Lorne if you want your dreams to come true.

Yeah....that's how it went. Honest to God.

At Azriaphale's Puss asks for books on Japanese bondage. Man, all you had to do was ask. I've got tons of them! Vala, I want you to make note of that too. Foxy science babe Sara Sidle gets a book on decomposition. I'd check her backyard for dead bodies if I were you. Wilson comes in for sexy talk with Azriaphale. They make plans for dinner later. And after dinner? I'm guessing a little dessert I like to call Apple Pie A La' OMGWilsonisnaked! But that's just what I'm guessing. Also, Kiki sees Aziraphale's ferret for the first time. Impressive isn't it little Kiki?

At Red's Han comes to get his tattoos checked out. And Pippi comes to Red blathering on about a Freshman bonfire. Yeah I wouldn't mind having a few Freshmen near a big pit of flame! Red also gets a visit from Hunter and Mara.

The Emporium is open and Cordelia stops by to buy a cricket bat. Naughty naughty Ms. Chase. Principal Smith buys cupcakes and booze. Sounds like my kind of party buddy.

Lee is all sorts of adorable at Wonka's. I wonder what his father would have to say about his son being a big pansy in public? Ivanova stops in to talk about Tonks' good mood. Who cares? Get naked!

Deb's is open and Alanna comes in to talk about her vay-cay as does Lana. Wilson and Aziraphale come in for dinner. We all know what's for dessert.

CJ and Jack Harkness talk some heavy stuff at the Perk. And Parker and Broots meet post-gremlin bite. We all know how awkward that can be. Well, I don't. I'm not dumb enough to be bitten by a gremlin, thank you.

Isabel and Angel are spotted on the beach with Sean. *shuffling of papers* Oh! He's a dog! Wow, I was thinking there was a three-way going on or something.

Elections, vote for someone to rule you!

Elections are next Monday. Write-in ballot, three students from each class. And yet I get the feeling someone will screw this up.

Callisto campaigns for Senior class rep. And with that photo how could she not win? I think to make it a sure thing you should take your shirt off Cal.

Chole also puts up a poster.

Lilly Kane puts up a poster for Sophomore class rep. Vote for her! Maybe she'll take off her shirt!

Cally does NOT want you to vote for her. Vote Bridge Carson instead. Cally is unable to run because of a severe case of the Throgmorten. *bursts out laughing* Throgmorten!

The Tick encourages Archie to run for StuCo. Now I am completely straight robot but I will admit that Archie is one attractive looking man. And that accent!

Well, it's been fun kids but Daddy Crow has got to take off. Now, I don't want to hear your crying. All good things must come to an end. But luckily you were good enough for me to have another go. Catch you at my earliest convenience.

Fandom High RPG

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