sith_happened: (Anakin: you're all idiots)
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The radio broadcast sprang to somewhat staticy life midway through Saturday afternoon.

"How did Leroy even get through this weather to find me?" Anakin's voice demanded.

There were exhausted sounding squirrel chitters in reply.

"Right. I've got a message to relay from the people in the library. Ahem: PLEASE BRING SHARKS TO THE PARK. WE HAVE NO PREFERENCE AS TO HOW THEY ARE OBTAINED." Ahsoka, what the kriff are you planning? "FANDOM, DO YOUR THING. WE'RE GONNA FREEZE 'EM AND USE 'EM FOR--"

And that's when the radio's power went dead. Thanks for that, great white shark through the island's main power grid. The radio's backup generator would be up later, but the rest of the island might be kind of screwed.
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Obi-Wan: ...Master Rand? What is it you wanted to speak to me about-- Anakin?

Anakin: I was just woken up by my grandson yelling "May the Fourth be with you," in my comlink and I WILL FIND YOU, BEN. It's too early for this poodoo.

Obi-Wan: I am starting to get the impression we were conspired against.

Anakin: Definitely. The squirrels look far too innocent right now, and they are never innocent.

Obi-Wan: *sigh* This is the radio station, isn't it? I should have known I was being drawn into a trap.

Anakin: You're losing your touch if you didn't. Pass me the notes, will you? It should go fast because classes don't start until today.

Obi-Wan: I'm not losing my touch. *rustling of papers* Here.

Anakin: If squirrels successfully outsmarted you without drugging your tea or giving you a concussion, you're losing your touch. Right, in school, galactic holostar Garik Loran was in the library wearing a shirt and not wearing glitter. Well, not wearing glitter where the squirrels could see because I know for a fact that you cannot get rid of glitter with just one day's worth of showers. Cassandra came in for her weekly visit and got steered toward a new science fiction series...and then Face had to explain starships because sometimes the people here are from very, very primitive times without proper travel options.

Obi-Wan: I'm sure they'll get there in time, Anakin. Ah, I see we've arrived at the more invasive notes, as the squirrels spied on Dipper making a list-- apparently because he couldn't sleep. That's certainly a way to keep your life organized, Dipper. Jalian seemed to think it prudent to bring her knives to the deck. There… may be safer places to take care of your sharp objects. And yesterday, your errant grandson enjoyed a milkshake with his partner and discussed meeting me at the picnic yesterday. He didn't seem like the type to do prank calls-- maybe your sunny disposition simply invites that kind of behavior.

Anakin: It is way too early to deal with your particular brand of sarcasm, Obi-Wan. He met you at the picnic? That sounds interesting, or awkward, or both. I met my namesake a few years back, and that meeting was definitely both interesting and awkward. Anyway. In town, Jono was blasting Pearl Jam at Groovy Tunes at what the squirrels assured me was a definitely not emo way. I don't know what a Pearl Jam is, so I'll take their word for it. Anders, per Jono's request yesterday, stopped in to talk about his new little sibling, and Kaylin came by and offered to heal Jono's hurt hand. New kid Ringo goes for a jog--those stairs are killer, huh?--before ending up in the super convenient evil lair, um, warehouse district There's going to be a Cinco de Mayo--did I pronounce that right?--squirrels say at Caritas tomorrow, and Brian either locked himself out of his own apartment or is the newest, most incompetent thief on the island.

Obi-Wan: Now, Anakin. Who's to say he couldn't be both?

Anakin: That's an excellent point. Jessica, Vic, look into it?

Obi-Wan: … and what was that about a super convenient evil lair?

Anakin: Experience. Warehouse districts tend to be nothing but trouble. First place I'll look when you inevitably get kidnapped by something bigger than squirrels.

Obi-Wan: I'm not losing my touch.

Anakin: You are too, but that's not the point. The point is we're out of notes, which means we're out of here. Kidnap someone else next time, squirrels.

Obi-Wan: *sigh* I came here of my own volition because someone invited me. I wasn't kidnapped. Because I'm not losing my touch. *pause* … But yes, we are done here.

Anakin:: If you were outsmarted by Atton Rand, you're also losing your--

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Good morning. Hopefully I'm not interrupting too many tearful goodbyes or "why did I keep that" mutterings as people pack up their rooms...


The squirrels say sometimes they just put things in your rooms to mess with you. So now you know. Yearbooks were distrbuted--please don't people not to change because if you're stuck in high school forever that would be terrifying--and Sia was at the beach preparing to go home. Presumably not by swimming there. She got texts from Atton who's off doing whatever Atton does when he's not here and then said goodbye to Four, which is a silly name and I can say that because I know a guy named Obi-Wan. Tony Stark now owns Stark's again, making him the, what, fourth Stark to own Stark's? Something like that.

This island is confusing. Jessica stopped in to tell him she used to work there and ends up working there again, on Tuesdays in case you're looking for her.

...and that's all? Really? Excellent. I'm going back to sleep.
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Two more days to go, seniors. You can do it.

In finals news, Mad Kings and Queens talked about revolutions as a means to overthrow a bad leader. I have many, many thoughts on that. Friendship is Cakes had a party because Pinkie Pie, I believe, is religiously opposed to exams, and Thor's class talked about how modern stories turn into myths. Kids used to pretend to play Kenobi and Skywalker back in my home galaxy. I think they got their stuff from the news? Maybe?


Pretending to be gremlin-bit isn't that funny. Stop it. That's not how you play Skywalker.

Flick was Facebook stalking people in the dorms--stop that--and in town, Anders and Nathan flirted about flower crowns and what kind of gift Nathan might get.


How am I supposed to pronounce a capital G? A Gift, apparently. And over at Luke's the dishwasher was trying to convince Kenzi about a tentacle monster and people making out in the freezer and that just sounds about fifteen kinds of unhygenic, but that's all of the notes I've got, so on that awkward note, I'm leaving.


Okay, pretending you have stupid hair is also not how you pretend to be me.
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Anyone else getting a bad feeling around the island this week? I thought we were done with that for the semester.


Yes, well, if you become Force-sensitive squirrels, it would be completely terrifying, so I'm glad you don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, in classes yesterday, Friendship is Cakes made gravity-defying space cakes--I don't know whether to be impressed or a little worried--Modern Myths talked about Fandom's big sibling program and if it's better to tell the newcomers about all the weirdness or let them discover it themselves, and Mad Kings and Queens learned about Imerina as they played bingo where one of the squares available to be filled was cliff-tossing, so she sounds like a treat.

In the dorms, Ronan woke up in a terrible mood from his nap--my baby son does the same thing sometimes--and Anders was doing some studying about a place called Thedas. Cassandra asked why, and Anders explained that one of his maybe-children came from there. Kathy stopped in to complain about studying for the SATs and I completely remember how stressed Rory was about those. Deep breaths, and don't drown yourself in coffee, alright?

In town, Atton was listening to loud music and presumably avoiding dealing with life, and Kenzi had Tax Day specials at Luke's.

And that's all for today. Get to class, you're going to be late.
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Good morning, everyone. So far, it doesn't seem like anything weird is happening today, so I'm going to get through the notes very quickly in the hope that it will still be true by the end of the broadcast.

In classes, Friendship is Cakes did "April shower" themed cakes and I for one am glad they aren't currently falling from the sky.


I'm not paranoid. I've just lived here almost a decade. Mad Kings and Queens learned about Ivan the Terrible, who was Ivan the Okay for half of his reign before he turned into Ivan the Gone Around the Bend. I've known people like that too.

...shut up, Obi-Wan. I can hear the eyebrow from here.

In the dorms, Mara was selling tickets for prom and getting covered in glitter just by sitting there, apparently, Minako is also compaining for prom queen--see what you've started, Isabelle?--Cassandra was working on her independent study, and Anders was refusing to let the gloomy weather get to him as he sat on the deck. Nathan stopped in from his way back from the preserve and they talked about all of the insane messages they'd received last week. Edward and Anders also caught up about the phone messages, and how Hanna thought that Anders had been upset about what she'd left. Ronan was listening to music to avoid his phone--I find that forgetting to charge it helps immensely on not getting irritating messages--and Ezra got to know Chainsaw, who I'm assuming is an animal because otherwise the notes are way too blase about Ezra getting killed last night.

...and that's all I've got. Excellent. Enjoy yourselves at the Prom. And...lock your doors that night. Just trust me.
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This is Anakin Skywalker, I think my phone has finally stopped ringing and I wish I were back in the coffee shop because I don't have enough caffeine for--

*confused chittering*

*ten minutes of dead air*

Okay, what the KRIFF. I ended up back at the coffee shop. Like this place hasn't been weird enough. Let's get to the notes. In classes, Friendship is Cakes used Peeps in their Easter cake decorating, Mad Kings and Queens played Risk or chess--I haven't played Risk in far too long and Rory only plays to get the pretty blue pieces, so that's pointless--and Modern Myths talked about the history of April Fool's Day and how it gives people a free pass to be an asshole once a year.

Everything else was pretty much dealing with the phones being nuts. For the record, I don't want to hear anything else about manboobs, triplets, or who's doing what with a bear's claw. Raven was reading in the common room between calls, Mara was calling around asking about breakfast orders in town, Hannibal went out to shop based on messages he got, and Alana was bored at the book store in between her messages. Aeryn was doing her work at the Freedom Arms--between callls--and Atton's nap was interrupted by a visit from Hannibal, who'd brought groceries. Well that's one of the mysteries folved. Drac returned calls, and so did Allie, despite her knowing what was going on. Sometimes it's just fun to add to the chaos.

Finally, Kathy took the messages a little too much to heart and headed off island to blow off steam. Other than that, well. Stuff happened. Ask your friends.
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This is Master Skywalker, so everyone sit down, shut up and listen, okay?

Over at Needful Things, people were out defending Gaunt's tiresome, cowardly butt and the shiny, shiny objects they've been given. Going out on a limb to guess we should take back the objects.


Where did you even find a "Thank You, Captain Obvious" sign?

On Team Gaunt, we found Carmilla and Hanna, both determined to keep their shinies. Hanna's so determined that she takes a shot at Jessica, who tries to get her with an arrest warrant for attacking a cop. Both Hanna and Rinoa--also Team Gaunt--end up webbed for being a pain to law enforcement. Don't throw boulders, Rinoa. It never ends well. Squall tried to talk some sense into Rinoa but it ends up with them tossing spells--possibly even worse than tossing boulders--so I'm going to guess Rinoa's still brainwashed. Anders was also Team Gaunt and is stalking protectively around the store with a phylactery--not dirty, I hope--that Cassandra was pretty sure shouldn't belong to him. Kathy's also upset to see Anders out there, but her very worst guilt trip wasn't enough to get Anders to give up his...whatever it is. Elsa let some ice wolves loose on Raven--the student, not the alum--who was trying to snag Elsa's bracelet. Over on Team Gaunt's a Dick--I named it myself--Squall asked Jessica not to hurt any of the brainwashed, which, well, of course. Even with the ice wolves and the boulders and the spell casting. Jessica webbed arrest warrants to the side of the antique shop--guess that means she and Vic figured out who's supposed to sign them--with Atton's Force assistance. Zoe and Bo concluded that due to brainwashed students at the store, it's really okay that they're there and not up at the school. I agree.

Turning the mindwhammied around is possible, though: Nikolai got Allie to give back her cursed necklace after a bit of a fight.

In non-antique shop news, Mary had all of the lights on at the hotel due to creepy fog, Eliot's still tied to a chair as Hardison tried to unmindwhammy him, and Jack brought still-sick Emmy some pizza. She sent him out for smoothies and soup instead.

Over at the school, most classes were either canceled outright or being directed to the library--more on that in a sec--but Mad Kings and Queens learned about Anna of Saxony, who had extreme mood swings, very little financial restraint and a fondness for public displays of adultery.


The squirrels' favorite kind of person, apparently.

Finally in the library, here's what we know so far for those of you already heading back to talk-slash-smack around the people at the antiques store again today:

--Face and Sam--hello, Sam, welcome back--found a similar event where a husband's cursed device was taken and destroyed and then the husband died. So DON'T DESTROY THE CURSED ITEMS.
--Four, inspired by Kathy and Atton's talk about who was down by the store, started going through the last few weeks' radio broadcasts to discover everyone who'd been at Needful Things. Track him down if you know someone who was there, I guess.
--Kathy found information that suggested Gaunt's collecting souls, so that's very reassuring to hear. It's not helped by Eleanor learning that there's also some kind of pyschic poison that feeds off of people being miserable. Four suggested sending Pinkie Pie out. I'm all in favor of the party cannon.

...possibly the first time I've ever said that. In not quite as crucial news, Jack and Eleanor agreed that more than one thing seemed to be attacking, Atton and Bob talked about non-lethal forms of taking people down, Cosette made sure Kathy got something to eat, Eleanor asked Atton if he'd seen Joker outside the store, and Karina teased Atton about throwing pizza at Sparkle's window.

As she should.

There's going to be a town hall meeting later today, so if you're comfortable going out in the fog. Remember, non-lethal contact only. Unless it's Gaunt and he really asks for it. I'm an Ethics teacher, you can trust me here.
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*squirrel snickering*

Laugh it up, fuzzballs. Like I care if you have footage of me chasing you up trees. Let's get to the news, all right? It was unofficial movie day yesterday in classes, with both Friendship is Cake and Modern Myths showing them. I'm guessing they were different movies, right?


Good. Sparkle made a phone call in the dorms, but apparently it wasn't interesting enough to hold the squirrels' interest.

*elaborate chittering*

Oh, they're being respectful work colleagues who wouldn't dream of infringing on his priv--how can you even try that with a straight face?

In town, Kenzi was napping at Luke's, Jono was stocking CDs at Groovy Tunes and was in kind of a mood, and Jake was trying to get through paperwork at the Trooper Station. Good thing, too, because Jessica has found herself unexpectedly stranded in Fandom and is now working at the station. Raven was enjoying a day in the park until Pam launched herself from behind a tree yelling "COCAINE" and yanked out some of her hair, so, um, Jessica? Jake? Looks like there might be more paperwork to go through...Cecil was there to be on the receiving end of Raven's "what the hell was that" rant before the conversation turned to the weather, as it does.

Needful Things was busy, which is weird because it was always closed when I went by...anyway, Elsa went in to look at all the shiny things, Anders went in to apologize for not having enough rocks to pay for his item. Okaaaay. Pam went in demanding more cocaine, which could mean this place is also selling drugs or Pam is just insane, and Kathy's reappearance in the shop came as a surprise to Leland, who noted that her last exit had been rather rude. Joker was also there to conduct business and now I'm feeling a bit left out for missing all of the fun at this store. Finally, the Devil's Nest was open, even if Buffy was a little scarce.

And that's all I have today. I'm off to take another shower. I'm still finding cat hair everywhere. Ugh.

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Good morning, everyone. It's Anakin Skywalker wondering who the frell keeps asking for all of this snow. I will find you, and I will end you.

*nervous chittering*

...and now I've scared the rodents. I'm off to an excellent start. In classes yesterday, Baking With Friends made cakes based on last week's trip, so I'm guessing they featured a lot of spam, pineapple, and vegetables suspended in Jello, which...yuck. Mad Kings and Queens learned about Mustafa I, who was locked in a cage and then occassionally let out to rule erratically. He was in a cage. Go figure on the "erratic" part...anyway, Modern Day Myths learned about computer viruses and presumably not to download porn from sketchy websites if you don't want you computer to die. You're welcome, kids.

In the dorms, Anders brought donuts to the third floor common room to share. Cassandra wanted to check that they weren't poisoned--I'm getting a bad feeling about your homeworld, Cassanda--and Anders explained to Raven they were free becaus J,GOB is trying to compete with the Chinese and pizza places in terms of delivery options. Isabelle was fine with food as long as it's free and she and Anders compared notes about the cruise. Cecil wanted to know if Foucault could have a pink one and I'm wondering if "pink" is really a flavor.

Flick and Isabelle had a heart-to-heart in Flick's room about how sad he still was and seriously, go see Electroclash. Or the clinic. There are options.

In town, Nathan woke up from a nightmare in the preserve and I'm just going to assume he had many, many layers because if a student freezes to death outside, I'm going to be really cranky. Atton and I had a lightsaber sparring session at the gym, Tamsin is annoyed that everything is back to normal in town, so blame her for the next invasion, and over at Luke's Kenzi has a cookbook on how to cook a wolf. There was a grand reopening at Needful Things, and Eliot stopped in to discover that they had a necklace almost exactly like an old one of his in stock. That's a pretty great coincidence.



Hannibal and Jono watched the Voice and wondered about Christina's life choices. I'm still catching up on this season of the Amazing Race myself. Buffy kept busy at her Devil's Nest shift by watching a shipping war unfold on Tumblr, and Mike was drinking coffee at the Perk after work.

...and that's all I've got here. Bundle up warmly and don't eat anyone.
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Good morning, everyone. This is Anakin Skywalker aboard the SS Help Me Help So Much Square Dancing and Tweed on our fifth day of vacation. I'm starting to hum the Bee Gees. I think the end is soon.

*sarcastic chittering*

Shut up, I'm not being overdramatic.

Anyway, yesterday the ship docked in Puerta Vallarta and we could all get off this floating disco nightmare and see what the 1970s looked like in Mexico instead. First people had to wake up, of course. Hannibal and Karla discussed the best way to telepathically contact people and Hannibal talked to Kaylin about a plan to get some more familiar food to eat. Only so much fruit cocktail a person can it in their lives, I guess. I don't mind it, really. There was plenty still available, of course, as well as a sun deck to visit and the pool and so on, but most people prefered to get off the ship and explore town. People walked along the Macelon--Hannibal and Anders found good Mexican food to eat--and others discovered the beach. Cosette and Edward climbed trees in the jungle and talked about their childhoods, while Kitty and Stiles caught up on current events, mostly about living with their significant others.

Obi-Wan and I looked around the church, Hannibal learned how to make tequila, others explored Isla Marietas and others went to swim with the dolphins.


Which is not to be confused with swimming with the fishes, I'm told. We returned to the ship to face the horror that was Square Dancing Night.

*more chittering*

No, I"m not telling ho-down jokes. What's wrong with you. Hatter's made friends at the Coral Room, so I guess if he's off playing mahjong with some old people today we know where he met them, but the main draw for the evening was the dancing. Over where they weren't square dancing, Flick used the power of sulkiness to keep people away from him, Ezra's spending other people's money at the Princess Lounge, and Anders told Nathan about working with Hannibal and Karla to improve the cuisine, which I have a very bad feeling about. Ronan started a tab at Starlight Lounge, and Elsa admitted to Joker that she needed a distraction from her fights with Barry.

A bunch of us ended up watching the square dancing, but only Obi-Wan and I were talking through the performance. Atton went for a swim, and Alana was stargazing...and that's all I've got.

Nothing from town?


Aww, it's snowing again there? Sucks to be them. Ha.

...and now I'm getting flipped off by a squirrel. That's new. Enjoy the new location everyone. Don't get too sunburned and Rory, I mean you.
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Right, it's cold and the island's still fairly insane and I'm too old and grumpy to deal with it very long, so I'm going to blow--

*squirrelly snickers*

--seriously? Stop that. No one wants to think about your sex lives.


Listen, it's not my fault that I'm still dripping glitter. I've taken about a hundred show--stop imagining me in the shower. It's creepy as hell.

In classes, Friendship is Cake watched a video--can't imagine how that could go wrong-- and Modern Myths learned about a woman who got pregnant by being shot. See, Ethics students? We could have shot you instead. Mad Kings and Queens had their libidos crushed under the gruesome details of Vlad the Impaler, not dirty. Electroclash held office hours where she was inudated by sappy love songs. Sparkle came and they speculated if the glitter would follow us on Spring Break--kriff, I hope not--before Sparkle asked for advice for his post-Fandom life.

In the dorms, Ezra was in his room admiring the things he found off-island before Jalian came in and tossed him on a bed and I think we're all really uncomfortable with me reading the rest of this so I'm going to stop. Ronan's shirtless in his room because it's February and negative ass degrees outside and of course he is, and Amy told him about the kissing party two nights ago and they made plans to go clubbing. Ezra mocked him for stealing his shirtles schtick--oh, new children, there's been shirtlessness since there's been a Fandom--and Ronan mocked him for going to the kissing party. Ezra overshared about all of the action he's gotten and I really, really don't need to know this. Flick is also shirtless--you're all going to get frostbite and possibly herpes--and Isabelle came by to confess to leading Edward on at the kissing party. In further shirtless news, Travis at least had the excuse of being locked out of his room after a shower. Gwen was taking a cold shower--please, please tell me you weren't in there to confirm the temperature--

*vague chittering*

And Minako was burning off energy through volleyball playing. Joker and Eleanor woke up together and I'm not giving any more information because they're in my class and ew.

Finally in town, Elsa and Barry tried to have a chaste date this week so I'll give you three guesses how well that worked out. Atton and Sia had a super awkward conversation at the Perk and then Atton went home and made a phone call. Alana got sucked into reading 49 Shades of Ecru--someone make sure she wasn't literally sucked in? That book's evil enough to probably turn sentient. Roland and Vic were awkward at J,GOB and Roland explained that his guitar only wants to play dirty songs this week. A new woman--Abbi-arrived on the island and Bob introducted himself to her, and then she ended up at 'Dites to learn about the sex toy specials this week so, um, welcome to Fandom. Kitty was also over at 'Dites and I'm pretty sure I don't want to read about this for all of you to hear, so I won't.

Finally, Buffy was at the Devil's Nest with ice cubes and a fan, so I'll leave you all with that mental image and flee across the Causeway. See you at the meet-up for Spring Break, everyone.
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*extensive cursing. Congratulations, kids, you learned how to say 'I'm freezing my balls off' in Huttese!*

No, I don't like the snow. What gave it away?


If that was squirrel for 'whiny baby,' I'd be carefully considering just how close you're standing to me. This is Anakin Skywalker, it's cold as Hoth and snowing to boot outside, most of the power's out and this is probably the most pointless radio in a while, so I'll make it quick. In classes, Friendship is Cakes made Valentine's cakes, Modern Myths learned about the wonders of it to all of your doddering relatives, though they probably won't check it--and Mad Kings and Queens learned about Joan the Mad.

In the dorms, Gwen was selling Valentine's Day dance tickets and taking flower orders. In town, Obi-Wan was in his usual place at the Perk before Atton interrupted him and oh, I can see the speeder wreck from here without even having to read the notes.


Oh, it was civil? Well, Obi-Wan is pretty much the best negotiator in history so okay, I can buy that. Elsa is in the Magic Shop with her class-assigned baby--I'm glad to see you taking the assignment seriously, now, and make sure Ronan doesn't shirk on his end--and the baby is crying and a dog is howling and yet it's mysteriously quiet. I need that for my house. Also pick up the baby.

...and don't PUT IT IN A CLOSET, ALANA.

Frell, you people. I'm getting the biggest cup of coffee on this island, assuming the Perk is even working, and going home. Ugh. Snow.
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This is Anakin Skywalker on yet another freaking cold morning.


I know it's winter. It doesn't mean it has to be this cold, does it? Anyway, let's get to the notes. In classes, Mad Kings and Queens watched a movie, presumably about mad kings and queens, Baking with Friends made consolation 'I'm sorry you were dumped, here have this cake?' That sounds like a boom business idea. Modern Myths learned that you can't really dissolve anything in a glass of Coke. I'm disappointed to learn that.

Flick is sick over in the dorms--go to the clinic, Flick--and there was a lot of excitement over at Wonka's. I remember the original owner--he was kind of a cleaned up, slightly weirder version of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Which makes sense to about three of you. Kriff, I'm old. Anyway the new owner's name is James and he's hiring. Tony stopped in to see if they had anything coffee-flavored, Pinkie Pie came in and broke James' brain a bit. You're not alone in that at all, James, and yes, she's real. Mara got a job, and Clint also stopped in to take a look around. Eleanor had calming music playing at Groovy Tunes while she cleaned, and I accused Obi-Wan of being an old person at the Perk becuase he turned old and crotchety on me. Alana's got the books separated at Book Haven because the YA books were fighting each other for shelf space.

James, if you've discovered the radio, that really happened. I'm sorry for your brain.

That's all the news for today. Have a good rest of the week.
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This is Anakin Skywalker again with the news of yesterday.


No, I'm not going to try to see into the future to make this more interesting. What the--never mind. Let's get to the notes. In classes, Baking with Friends--

*more chittering*

No, I'm not going to pronounce all the exclamation points. It's too early to be that excited about anything. They made Super Bowl themed cakes. Modern Myths was canceled, and Mad Kings and Queens learned about George III of England. Jones was in her office with a gremlin attached to her leg but it never bit her. NEVER?


HOW DID SHE GET THAT TO HAPPEN THAT IS SO UNFAIR. Bob was in his own office and presumably not sticking his head through doors to bother other people in theirs. Over in the dorms, Zoe put up posters about the floor against floor snowball fight and bonfire we're going to be having on Saturday--sounds fun--and Cecil wondered what floor Elsa was on. Given the competitiveness of this school, I wouldn't be shocked at all to see floor meetings today and tomorrow with strategy sessions and possibly detailed other common room news, Amy was watching college basketball because the TV wouldn't let her watch anything else. Don't take it apart to find out why! Last time someone did that we all ended up black and white. She told Ronan she was watching to learn about the sport, and Johnny told her that sometimes the television just gets stuck.

Finally, in town Obi-Wan was in the Perk drinking Earl Grey--told you that you'd like it--and watching the world go by. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

That's all I have today. I'm getting coffee.
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Good morning, everyone, it's Anakin Skywalker here and the shrieking eels are no longer falling from the sky, so that's already makes today a better day than yesterday. Let's get to the notes because naturally there's a lot of them because everyone's response to "angry eels with anti-grav units and oxygen tanks" is apparently "let's go outside!"

*pointed chittering*

Yes, I realize I was also outside. But I was trying to go to a movie. Before we get to all of the eel killing, we had classes to get through. And for those of you who aren't from worlds where you're handed weapons on the way to first grade, any absenses yesterday are excused. Mad Kings and Queens talked about Caligula and if he was actually insane or if scribes were doing a bit of post-disaster cleanup. Friendship is Cakes had Derek showing up as a wolf and attacking the animal-shaped cake because the day wasn't weird enough, and then the rest of the class made animal-shaped cakes too and Hanna offered another one to Derek. I volunteer not to be the one getting icing out of a wolf's hair. Thor taught his Modern Myths students about Bloody Mary--the creepy lady, not the breakfast drink.


...which the squirrels are currently having. Because of course they are. In the dorms, Gwen took one look out the window and stayed inside, and Cassandra--fresh from her defense time outside which we'll get to in a moment--agreed that Gwen had made a good choice. Ronan, showered and de-eeled, texted a bit in his room. I'll bet the texts were eel-related. Johnny took us into sundown by blasting eels off the roof with fire, so please be wary of any barbecued eel specials at the sushi place the next few days. It might be slightly recycled.

In town, Travis got chased up a tree and Kathy introduced herself while trying to help him out, but Travis told her he was quite all right up the tree. Can someone check to be sure he's still not up there? Hannibal went after eels with his rifle and Jono stopped by after helping out at the movie theater--we'll get to that too--and Hannibal caught some to cook. Um.


He's apparently having an eel-themed party tonight so there's...that.

Moving on. Vic told Ralph that she didn't care if there were invading eels, it was still her day off. See, Obi-Wan? I told you. This is a regular thing. I was at the movie theater, annoyed because sometimes I just want things to be normal and not full of eels and is that too much to ask--


Apparently it is. And then we had what amounted to an impromptu teachers' meeting. Obi-Wan was there, of course, to lecture me about anger management and to cancel our movie plans so we could continue aiding the public. You're welcome, the public. He also punned at Atton, who wanted to know from if Obi-Wan was for real with this and sadly, yes. Yes, that was my life for decades. Lecturing and terrible jokes. Cara was there as well, and she and Atton wondered if the theater has a replay policy for when prebought tickets can't be redeemed due to eels. Or invasions. I was impressed with Cara's weapons and she wasn't convinced about how I wasn't on a date.

*dubious chittering*

I WASN'T. I'M MARRIED. YOU WERE THERE FOR THE WEDDING. Jones had eels in her purse, so I checked to make certain that this whole mess wasn't her doing--it wasn't--and she complimented Obi-Wan about how he and I are kriffing adults working through our issues and NOT ON A DATE--and Jono gave Obi-Wan a bit of history in Fandom daylong invasions as they killed eels together. Jones asked Jono if the eels were a regular feature and he said no, but there had been sharks before, and then Jono and I wondered if we should stock up on eel for that inevitable weekend when we all go crazy and run the island entirely via the currency of contraband sushi.

Meanwhile, closer to the school, Cassandra was punching eels with a trash can lid, as you do. Anders stopped by with his staff and they admired each others' weapons of choice before examining the eels' anti-grav devices. I did the same thing. I mean, really, who has the kind of time to arm eels with anti-grav devices? Jalian was excited to kill things even if they don't know where they came from, and Kathy joked that she kills eels every morning for exercise. Hanna wanted to know if they should collect the eels for soup--Anders was not a fan--and Jalian and Cassandra decide that after looking over the eels' devices that none of it was for communication, so kriff it. Jalian was confused at Kathy's chosen weapon of pretty ribbons--can't blame her--and then Kathy complimented Cassandra's swordwork. Hanna told Kathy this was the weirdest thing ever, which was how Kathy knew she was new.

Roland led a bunch of eels, Pied Piper-style, down to the beach, and Kenzi featured eels on the menu at Luke's because you're all inappropriate and weird. I'm heading to my office, and then maybe out for a movie.

An eel-less movie.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Right, it's morning, the squirrels are waving notes at me but at least they let me get coffee before starting this's radio, I'm Anakin Skywalker, and I'm not nearly as upset about doing this as I pretend.

*long pause*

*extended cursing*

And it's one of those days on the island. Watch what you say, everyone. It's all going to be the truth. I'll be avoiding the poodoo out of Obi-Wan today so I don't go on and on about how much I miss him.

*another long pause*

*even more cursing*

Hand me the frelling notes. In classes, Baking made winter-themed cakes that they decorated themselves, Thor explained chain letters in Modern Day Myths--don't send your bank account information to some guy pretending to be a Nigerian prince, that makes you a moron--and Mad Kings and Queens learned about Norton the First, the only emperor of America. I killed an emperor once. He completely deserved it.

*nervous chittering*

You can't possibly be surprised that I've killed people. In the dorms, Johnny's practiced guitar because of course he plays guitar instead of doing homework in his room, and Hannaate her cake in her room. In town, Barry's working on a giant turnip related experiment, so if murderous sentient root vegetables attack next week, we all know who to blame. Anna, still a little unclear on the "people you know from home who are here might not be your person" idea, showed up to yell at Barry for dating Elsa so...good luck with that, everyone, and Kathy stopped by to deliver belated Christmas presents. Obi-Wan was at the Perk drinking nasty tea and we talked about nothing for a while before the combined weight of the past threatened to crush us both and it was incredibly awkward and oh fuck me I'm saying all of this out loud.

*pointed chittering*

I'm sorry I didn't give you warning about the cursing. Tony also stopped in and learned that I'm a giant nerd about mechanics--true--and Obi-Wan learned that Tony's figuring out his own previous selves by listening to the radio archives. Smart of him. Bob noted that Obi-Wan doesn't seem like he's from around here. He's from a galaxy far, far away and shut up, that's still funny.

That's all the notes I have. I'm off to lock myself in my office with tape over my mouth. The rest of you do what you want.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
But it's Tuesday and I have to teach--

*pointed chittering*

Okay, yes, you're right, I'm early and pacing the classroom for a few hours would make me look desperate and need--hey! I'm not desperate and needy!

*more chittering*

Shut up and hand me the notes. Eesh.

This is Anakin Skywalker, by the way. I'm apparently seeing half of you in my classroom very soon. Don't be late.

*even MORE chittering*

Why the frell would we be handing popcorn out at the door? That's ridiculous.

ANYWAY. It was the first day of classes yesterday, which meant I have a whole page of notes about introductions. Kitty's Adulting class talked about how being adult involves having money as to not be homeless and starving and they also held introductions. Tony Stark--another one?--held introductions in his class about Science and Technology. That's not a shocking choice for him, if it's the same sort of one I've met twice already. Maybe three times? Bond taught Mis-Intelligence and held introductions. Since it's a class on spycraft, I'd be shocked if half of what was said was true. Lecter's Baking class also held introductions, but he made it more bearable by also providing snacks.


Tasty snacks.

In the dormitories, Vider made beef stew to share with the floor--

*eager chittering*

The squirrels point out that they accept food bribes, too. Hanna--a new student--stopped in for stew and asked questions about the stone angels around town. Um. Long story on those. If they start to move again, RUN.

In town, Obi-Wan settled into a hut because of course he did. Indoor plumbing is for other people. He also brought along two eopies which are not for eating.


They're also about fifteen times your size. Hatter was at Cafe Fina drinking tea and working on his class notes, Eliot was hard on the staff at Luke's and got a surprise visit from Parker: hello again, Parker! Dani was doing some online shopping at the Gig, and Irene was looking for employees over at Dite's. Amy took her up on that so students, now you know someone else to ask all of your embarrassing sex questions.


No, probably not you guys. Also, yuck. That's it for today, everyone. See you in class. Promptly.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Does anyone else have a bad feeling about tomorrow?

Just me?


No, I'm sure the shuttle drivers won't forget your rum.

Classes don't start again until Monday, so everything was quiet at the school. In the dorms, Flick was trying to make an omelette in a common room. Since there aren't any notes about a fire drill, I'm assuming it went successfully. Cara was at Caritas playing very loud percussive music because Tino was hungover and Cara's a little bit evil. Well played, Cara. I was asleep at 10 on New Years Eve because my kids are literally running in circles still from all the Christmas sugar. I'm tired and very, very old.

That's everything! See you at the picnic tomorrow.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Good morning, everyone. Anakin Skywalker here...surrounded by candles.

Um. I will give you a lot of money if you tell everyone you're not trying to seduce me.


That was not that reassuring. Stop petting my hair.

Anyway, today's the last day of classes, not that you really need the reminder, so be sure you get to your exams on time. Baking With Friends was awkward, what with the possessions last week, and Pinkie Pie got a hug from Derek so she wouldn't cry. I bet that made her feel better, but probably didn't do much for Derek. The students there had to--shock--bake for their final. My Meditation and Ass Kicking class had to both meditate and kick ass. Don't think I didn't notice most of you napping in your Snuggies. Alana stayed after so I could check up on her post-possession and Writing class got a tour of a book company before being rewarded with a copy of Navaan's lastest book. She's published. No one tell my wife. Cosette was curled up in a Snuggie reading in the library, which is really what was intended for the blasted things.

Speaking of Snuggies, in the dorms, Gwen was in hers and working her way through her Netflix queue as the Force intended and Travis was appalled by how ugly the things were. In town, there was something burning at Caritas that certainly wasn't a Snuggie--


And not just because the squirrels are afraid of Cara. And Reno was enjoying some coffee at the Perk.

That's all the news for today. Try not to set yourself on fire with all the candles.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
This is Anakin Skywalker and I'm still myself, which seems like a very important thing to mention today, what with the...possessions taking place. Important news first. In the library, Cosette was reading from The Big Book of Exorcisms: 101 Ways To Rid Yourself of Pesky Spirits--that can't possibly be a real book--to learn how to get rid of ghosts. There were a variety of options offered, including punching the ghost in the face.


Later that afternoon, Stark found information in The Complete Idiot's Guide To Protecting Yourself From Stuff That's Not Supposed To Exist--seriously, who buys these--and found out that salt can serve as a temporary fix. So...more salt, less punching your friends in the face. This has been your public service announcement for the morning.

In the rest of the news--


Well, yes, "everything is terrible" does describe it, but let's get into some specifics, all right? In classes, Pinkie and Derek terrified their Baking class by being clearly not themselves. And my office will be open for any students who saw that particular bit of trauma. Meditation and Ass Kicking focused more on the ass kicking portion yesterday, and I noticed that something was very wrong with Alana. So if anyone's keeping track of who's been possessed, that's at least three so far, plus poor Sparkle...anyway. Navaan's class got to learn about oral storytelling--fortunately not dirty--in her Writing class. Finally in less immediately necessary library news, Constantine and Anders talked about how they had some experience in possession-related matters. That's encouraging.

In the dorms, Isabelle found that someone had defaced her photo of her family in her room. Flick stopped in and got hit for his concern and was told to get out. Someone check in on both of them and make sure it's just badly timed teenaged drama and not possession, okay? Gwen was in her room freaking out because there was leaking water and nowhere for it to be coming from and yes, that's creepy.

In town, Pinkie got possessed, which explains her class, Hannibal was cooking in his house--not that unusual--and Jono arrived without his bandages which is unusual these days, and then he realized that Hannibal wasn't exactly himself add two more names to the list. Kenzi met someone named Molly who wasn't supposed to be here, touched Kenzi and disappeared so add another to the list...and then whoever's wearing Pinkie demanded to know what Kenzi had done to her cat.

...I'm so afraid to know. Eliot went home and strapped himself to a someone check on him, too, okay?


Ohhhhh, because he'd gotten possessed at Luke's Diner, while Celia watched. That sounds horrifying. Cara was selling half priced spirits--

*squirrelly snickers*

--at Caritas, and Derek-but-not-really was at the Devil's Nest where he got into a fight with Eliot-but-not really. Fantastic. All right, folks, stock up on salt and don't stick around when people get weird.

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[personal profile] sith_happened
Good morning, everyone. It's Friday, I'm Anakin Skywalker, and if you have class first period, you'd better be running instead of listening to me.

In classes yesterday, Baking Your Friend...wait, that can't be right--

*squirrelly snickering*

--though Pinkie Pie was missing and Derek was covered in flour...and then he had all of the students bake pies. I've read a few fairy tales, so after this broadcast I'm going to make sure Pinkie wasn't baked into a pie. You know, just to be certain. My Meditation students learned about the mental clarity required to be good fencers, and Navaan's writing class got to watch a movie in her absence. The aviation books were misbehaving in the library--poor Cosette--and Anders stopped in to get the explanation: the Time magazines were daring the books to fly into a Bermuda triangle. And now if we all get sucked into another dimension this weekend, we know to blame the books.

The dorms were quiet--thank you for that, I hate having to report on your personal lives, it's gross--and in town, Ichabod was enjoying how his books weren't flying into a makeshift Bermuda Triangle and Celia stopped by to be sure he hadn't been eaten. Derek was working his new shift at the Devil's Nest and also, presumably, remained uneaten.

And that's all I have today. Enjoy your weekend, but no so much that I have to bail you out of jail.


I've had to do it more than once, so yes, it's a concern. Shush.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Well. Hopefully this weekend is going to be less weird than last week. Keep your singing to the showers, okay, everyone?

In classes, Baking was making croissants, which was apparently why Pinkie Pie was speaking with a French accent. If ponies can talk, might as well be with an accent, right? Meditation today got to work on a Jedi training exercise conducted by small, small children in my galaxy, complete with lightsabers and headgear, and then they all got shot because they weren't very good at it.


No, not fatally. Creative Writing learned that you should drink alcohol to help with your writing process--my wife tends to use coffee instead, another option that was brought up--and in the library, Cosette was reading popular fiction. Someone make sure she doesn't get her hands on the vampire books. No one needs to read those.

The dormitory was quiet, and in town, Ichabad was at his usual post at the bookstore, Kitty was at the Perk enjoying seasonal coffee--the peppermint one or the pumpkin spice?--


I'm asking for my wife. I only drink black.

*practically audible squirrel eyerolling*

Shut up. Irene came in to talk about Kitty's musical choice of Taylor Swift and how being in a different time affects your pop culture knowledge. Atton was at the gym practicing a martial art. Which one?


Yeah, that doesn't help me. I'll go ask. Finally, Cara was at Caritas trying to convince Tino that she didn't owe him any cookies.


She probably doesn't owe you any cookies either. That's it for today. Have a safe, musical-free weekend.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
This is Anakin Skywalker with your news from yesterday, surrounded by squirrels who are drenched in glitter and vowing eternal vengeance on Sparkle. You heard him tell you where the glitter was going to be. This is no one's fault by your own.

...and now there's boy squirrel kissing. There's not enough coffee in my life for this.

Moving on. In classes, Baking With Friends tackled bread today--not literally--my Meditation class did not fall asleep while practicing t'ai chi--I'm very proud of you--and Navaan taught her Writing students about cliches by using all of them. Did the alots stop by to say hello? They love that grammatical stuff. Finally, in the library, Cosette was reading biographies before Eponine stopped by with her overdue library books.

In the dorms, Travis got a check-in phone call from home, and Anders was destroying target dummies in the gym with his magic. In town, the books were sleeping, allowing Icabod to finally have a quiet day at work, and Cara was learning about Movember from the squirrels in Caritas.


Can you even grow a mustache?

*angry chittering*

Fine, fine, fine. That's all I have today. Enjoy what's hopefully a quiet weekend.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Good morning and Happy Halloween, everyone.

*spoooooooooooooooky noises*

...and the squirrels have found the seasonal sound effects.

*creaky door*

This is going to be an unbearable newscast.

*werewolf howl*

Anyway. In school, Pinkie Pie was dressed as a squirrel--


in Baking class, and Derek was eventually talked into a kitty hat. Tell me there are pictures. They also made cupcakes. In more sweets news, my Meditation class got to hit a pinata after testing their patience with incessant doorbell ringing in preparation for tonight. And Navaan's Writing class learned to write in a terrible accent.

The dorms were quiet, probably getting ready for today, and in town, Atton tried to meditate in the park and Ichabod used his earbuds to avoid listening to the books' howling.

*banshee wails*

*Monster Mash*

That is quite enough. Be safe tonight and remember to go to the good neighborhoods--they have the best candy.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Hello, and for any alumni returning already, welcome back.

Unless you're Bel, in which case...bite me.


Put those flags away. I'm married. So. Classes. Creative Writing didn't talk about sex this week, which the squirrels found highly suspicious. Instead the students had to come up with a theme and work it into their stories. My Meditation class worked on being very, very quiet until the Danger Shop decided to add about a billion decibels of anthem rock to our quiet. My head wasn't remotely happy about that, but at least the students helped out by breaking the stereos. And Pinkie Pie was speaking Spanish for flan day in Baking class, which had Derek confused. You work with a talking pony, Derek. Why does her being multilingual throw you? Cosette was very tired in the library and was kept company by some very clingy storybooks. Was one of them the Pokey Little Puppy? I hate that story.



Shut up, I'm allowed to have feelings. The dorms were busy with homecoming prep, where Alana had float prep materials out in the gym for the big parade. There were snacks--probablly covered in glitter because its a Student Council event--and Gwen and Alana tried to make something that looks like a gremlin out of craft supplies. of the floats will have something that looks like a gremlin. Be nice about it. Elsewhere, Emma had a cupcake with candles to celebrate her birthday by herself. Everyone wish her a happy birthday today, okay?

Finally in town, Cara was sampling Halloween-themed liquor at Caritas. Is any of it pumpkin spiced? Kriff, is any of it not?

That's all I've got here today, so I'll see you down at the fair all right? I'll be the dry, smug one in the drunk dunk tank.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Good morning from Skyrim, everyone, where there are plenty of sharp objects left to buy for souvenirs if your wife will let you.


No, she's not the boss of me, but it makes life easier when she's not pissed off. She'll look great in that tiara.

Anyway, we were in the town--city?--of Riften yesterday. At the inn, Nathan and Anders woke up now you all know that that's happening...and Atton walk-of-shamed into the common room. I didn't need to know that. Lots of people explored the city yesterday. The market was especially popular. I told you about my exciting shopping trip already, and Rapunzel and Gwen were over by the jewelry and comparing princess looks. Alana very carefully and respectfully checked out the the Hall of the Dead, which is good. No one's allowed to start a zombie apocalypse on vacation. New rule. Our school's Mara went to examine the Temple of Mara and chatted with Kira about how the squirrels must like this one-stop shop of romantic gossip.


They say they know way more about the locksmith than anyone needs to.

In other news, Mara also spent time in a seedy bar, Johnny visited the jail, and Four, Kitty and Cosette all wandered around town on their own.

Later on, Kitty had a drink in the common room. People could explore the mountain city of Mzulft--I probably pronounced that wrong--the mountain village of Ivarstead, or the mountain fortress of High Hrothgar. Johnny fought a dragon because of course he did--please don't get killed, there's a lot of paperwork I'd have to fill out as the Dean of Students and I'm on vacation--and then he and Celia tried the mead at the Meadery. Don't drink and fight dragons, kids. Gwen and Travis talked while they walked around town and agreed it was darker here than they were used to, but Riften was much nicer than our first stop. Finally, Edward, Anders and Nathan went off drinking together and so I'll be stopping by the jail today just to be sure I don't know anyone in there...

And town back in Fandom was very quiet, and so Cara was at Caritas flicking peanuts--look how carefully I enunciated that word--at Tino.

That's all the notes for today. Enjoy the rest of the trip. Stop fighting with dragons, Johnny.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Good morning, everyone. I trust you're packing for the school trip by now.


...the squirrels are packing. I think you'll need more than rum and Hawaiian shirts. Where did you even find Hawaiian shirts in your sizes? You know what, never mind.

In classes, Pinkie Pie was suction cupped to the ceiling because of course she was, and the Baking class used that as inspiration to make pineapple upside down cakes. My Meditation class practiced yoga, and then my granddaughter Jaina paid a surprise visit from home. Creative Writing worked with Mad Libs and I'm very scared about the stories that came out of that class. Over in the library, Cosette learned that she had leaves in her hair thanks to the helpful botany books.

In the dorms, Isabelle was on the roof doing reconnaissance on the town--someone check to make sure she hasn't turned evil, just in case--where Flick found her. In town, Irene was decorating her store for Halloween and I can only imagine the themed products. I'll continue to imagine because I have four children and there's no way in hell I'll be caught there. Derek stopped by to talk about the annual Halloween party, Sparkle stopped by for flavored condoms--didn't need to know that--and stayed for a job, and Hannibal came in to talk about the porn party on Wednesday that I also don't need to think about.

And that's all the news. That was easy.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Good morning. This is Anakin Skywalker, the dean of students, wishing you a good morning and reminding you that you have several hours of classes to go before our visitors arrive, so if you're planning on running, make sure to leave your teachers a voice mail first.


Don't sound so surprised. I'm not always an asshole.

*unconvinced chittering*

Just pass me the frelling notes. In school yesterday, Cosette was reading in the library, Navaan explained that adding sex scenes makes your Creative Writing more exciting--I can just hear my wife's idea on that--my Meditation students meditated before putting on sumo wrestling suits and fighting each other--it was great--and Baking With Friends made zucchini bread.

*sad chittering*

And no one shared with the squirrels.

In the dorms, Raven was outside despite the nasty weather. She and Travis talked about what to expect over Parents Weekend--there's a talent show, so the Force only knows, really--and Cecil and Raven complimented each other's outfits, so let's just assume they were both wearing ridiculous hats because it amuses me.

In town, Clint was home to hear about Kitty's terrible trip home and comfort her with his amazing arms--that's the notes, not me, I don't spend time looking at Clint's arms.

*emphatic chittering*

No, EVERYONE doesn't look at them.


Yes, my eyes work just fine. Stop it. He also received texts from Natalie, which might be about this weekend. Alana was waiting for Johnny at Ching Tai and he arrived...flaming.

There has to be a better way to describe that.


No, I"m not going to describe a student as "smoking hot." Cara was ignoring Tino at Caritas, and Buffy was probably ignoring Tiny at the Devil's Nest. That's all the notes I've got. You have a few more hours to work on your cover stories before the visitors arrive. May the Force be with you.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
It's a Sunday. I'm not supposed to be here on Sundays.


I don't really care if you couldn't find Johnny. As long as he's not dating his roommate, I don't care what he does with his life. Let's get on with the notes--Rory and I have a standing brunch date that I can't miss. And stop petting my hair. It's creepy.

No one was around the school yesterday because it was Saturday, other than Elsa pacing at the library. Exercise or nerves?

*more chittering*

Oh, you didn't care that much. Very helpful. The dorms were quiet, and out in town, Barry was in his not-so-secret warehouse with Ichabod and Elsa--after the library--but then the squirrels got bored and wandered off. This broadcast is a miracle of information today. Nikolai was talking to his mother at the Arms Hotel--on the phone, she wasn't there--and Travis went skateboarding on the boardwalk. The rest of you were sneaky enough to avoid squirrel detection, so congratulations.

I'm off to get brunch.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
This is Anakin Skywalker and apparently I'm doing radio now.


No, I don't really believe you missed me. But students, this is your only warning that whatever you get up to on Thursdays will be reported by me for all of your friends to hear and for me to give you detention over, so behave accordingly.

In classes, Friendship and Baking began with a party that covered everyone in glitter because, well, that's something Pinkie Pie would do. Sorry Derek. Students will probably be dripping glitter all over the dorms for the rest of the week if they were in that class, but at least they got cookies. My class was productive, both in learning about my students' abilities in meditation and self-defense and then in the always good "expending energy through punching inanimate objects" approach to stress relief.

*nervous chittering*

I'm not going to hit you but if you keep sidling toward my coffee, we're not going to be friends. Finally, Navaan began her Creative Writing course with two important lessons: don't be an idiot and have a good name. I agree wholeheartedly with both things, which may be the only time I ever agree with Navaan on anything, so mark this day down. Students told her their preferred genre of writing and their new fake names, and Anders seemed interested in becoming her TA again. Anders may be a glutton for punishment. Constantine was yelling at his jar of ghosts in the library and let's all nod along and pretend that made sense. Isabelle stopped in and asked about the jars because really, if you're yelling at a jar, expect someone to ask about it, and then she got a lesson in something called L-Space. Electroclash was having a quiet day in her office. Maybe she should've tried yelling at a jar.

In the dorms, Gwen ended up with far too many pizzas in the fourth floor common room, which is not exactly a problem, especially when you're dealing with teenagers who have black holes for stomachs.

...not literally. If you literally have a black hole for a stomach, head to the clinic. Johnny was grateful to see the free food and he and Gwen tried to figure out why there were so many when she'd only ordered the one. They decided on either an isolated rain of pizza or the pizza guy being really lazy. Given the number of steps between the pizza place and the dorms, I'm going with lazy. Rapunzel wanted to know what kind of weird stuff Gwen had already learned about--rain of pizza would be a good one--and Johnny made sure that Rapunzel knew he's a superhero. So I'm going out on a limb and guessing he's not keeping a secret identity up.

And that's all I've got. Town was quiet. Don't get into any trouble this weekend, or if you do make sure it's something I don't hear about.
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[personal profile] sith_happened
Hello, Fandom. This is Anakin Skywalker because apparently the squirrels didn't want to disturb the girl who normally handles radio on Friday.

*extensive chittering*

Oh, is she? I've not met her. Though "cannon fodder" is a little mean.

*more chittering*

Oh, I'm not saying it's not accurate, too.

Anyway. Your classes were cancelled yesterday, with teachers using varying means to let you know, and Jono being out and patrolling between the dorms and the classroom. Cecil was out with weapons because he's a Fandom student and I'm just going to assume he knows how to use those weapons or else I'll get a headache. He was surprised by how easily classes were cancelled around here. This will probably blow over by next week, so everyone who is sheltering in their dorm rooms should also be studying for their finals. We're not that lenient.

The library was busy yesterday, which would make my wife happy to hear. She was always Team Research. Speaking of research, we have a helpful--


Helpful-ish--connection with Handsome Jack's homeworld, so take that, man with a ridiculous name. And trust me, I know ridiculous names. That person talked with Jessica: the upshot there is that the weapons around town won't blow up if you use them because that would cut into their profit margins, so people who like to shoot things, take that under advisement. Jessica has further information if you want to track her down today where Jack can't hear what I'm saying. Then our contact sent Isaac out for snacks and Bo out to check for interference of her scans in the Preserve. We'll check in on them in a minute. Constantine was also there to chat and caught Mike--the one who works at T&C, not the one who works at Caritas--up to speed. Isabelle was more interested in what Constantine was. A librarian, or am I missing something?


Apparently I'm missing something.

In the dorms, Evan was changing from a night out chasing bad guys in a carefully planned and not at all stupid way, I'm assuming, and Zeela stopped in to get his help in comforting Sholeh. Jessica was at the gun range with the Hyperion guns and Cecil came by to agree that this new corporation was totally sketchy.


I'm not allowed to call things sketchy.

In town, Kitty--post radio taunting by that tool Handsome Jack-- went to find Clint and reassure herself that him being temporarily dead on Wednesday really was only temporary. It was, but it was possibly also contagious as Kitty went and got herself temporarily killed in the preserve later. In related news, there were monsters in the preserve, psychos along the eastern part of town, and weird guys in yellow protecting their dig site. Kenzi was up with a telescope on her roof trying to figure out what was going on--though she was also focused on Clint. His arms aren't that impressive, people. Doom wasn't impressed by Kenzi, but Doom isn't impressed by anything.

Allie was recovering from her evening of fighting creatures in the preserve park, and Nikolai was worried for how beat up she looked--make her go to the clinic if you're very concerned--Sam was offering discounted portals to Baltimore: if you're worried and want to leave, I'm sure we can get the board to reimburse your fare.

*rustling papers* Oh, there they are again. Isaac joined up with Isabelle in his quest for snacks and they ran into some psychos at the Kwik Stop but escaped with snacks and without ending up temporaily dead, so well done. Bo and Tamsin--she was armed with a gun that spits acid--were looking for the interference in the preserve. Mike was trying to get the panda to attack the psychos if they got any closer to Turtle & Canary and Buffy was drawing maps of town on a cocktail napkin as she served her shift at the Devil's Nest. Since it's a Buffy, I'm guessing it meant that was her break before beating up more bad guys.

That's all the notes that are here. Don't go stupidly seeking danger, even if you only end up temporarily dead. And Jack? Bite me.
sith_happened: (Default)
[personal profile] sith_happened
Anakin: All right, all right, I'm here, stop poking me! Where's the normal broadcaster?


Anakin ...1915. Of course she is. Very well, hand me the notes. Zinzi--new person?--

*more chittering*

Anakin: newish person, talked to her sloth about getting a second job and an apartment to live in. Excellent ideas, especially as the Troopers get a little upset if people are sleeping on park benches. Something about a city ordinance violation. And in the dorms Fredward--really?--

*even more chittering*

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE NAME ANAKIN. Fredward had set up a slip-n-slide through the fourth floor hallway.

*sounds of someone smacking their head into a desk*

Of course he did. Bo's problem, not mine. Rapunzel was eager to give it try, and Raven and she talked about how few people were left in the dorms this break before Raven brought up Freddie's web show. The internet kind, not the Spider-man kind. Sam wished to know if the--I'd so been hoping to avoid mentioning what he'd been using to make the slip-n-slide go--lubricant he'd found was edible. Anna wanted to know what a slip-n-slide was.

And that's all we have!


But I'm not on the trip. Why should I report it? One second, please, Fandom.

*sound of phone ringing*

Ben: Urmf?

Anakin: This is your grandfather. There will be a ---


Anakin: Yes, that. You're doing radio.


Ben: ...thanks. Okay. Yesterday in Rio, Kenzi woke Toby up by tossing waffles at his head. Seems like a waste of delicious waffles to me. Then Kenzi dragged Peter out to have fun--oh, you did the helicopter ride! That was pretty astral, huh? And Juliet tried to shower all of the glitter off. I'm still finding glitter on me from Monday's parade. That stuff's worse than sand in the getting everywhere department. Bruce, Cara and Daenerys were all in the spa, and Juliet and Jeremy wondered if their dad could buy the hotel. If we're invited back, yes please! Out in Rio, a good chunk of you were out at the beach, and Lex and Kate played volleyball and talked about superhero identities and the value of a properly packed utility belt. Tara, Dany and Annie all went for walks in the rainforest, and Hanna and Elphaba went on the helicopter tour, too. Ender and Chuck chose to explore some of the outlying islands by boat. Can I go back to sleep now?


Ben: So that's a no. Last night, the pool was the place to be. Bruce was lounging by the pool still--he was there all day?

*slightly shifty sounding chittering*

Man, I'd be the color of a lobster if I did that. He tried to explain the concept of relaxing to Cara, and I did the same thing to my cousin Anakin. Blysse and Anakin agreed to not go into the pool--something about the water smelling weird--and I caught up with her and Blind Seer. Bruce wanted to know if I'd gotten anyone else on tape since Topher's dance--the answer is no-- and Anakin scared Hanna by having the same face as someone she knew at home. Oh, tough break. I hate when that happens. Hanna and Bruce also decide that the pool was so busy because we were all tired of partying. Well, we pool people might have been, but Stacey was at the club looking for a boy, Dany was on the beach with her dragons, and Miley, Dave, Annie and Summer were all at a soccer game. Miley had to confirm that this was the game with kicking.

*long pause*

Ben: Yeah, on that note I'm going back to bed. Don't get too sunburnt, people. Trust me about that: it hurts.
sith_happened: (Anakin: cranky)
[personal profile] sith_happened
*sounds of scuffling*

I don't care how fuzzy and cute you think you are, I will smite the lot of you. There's plenty of rodents on this island. You're easily replaced. I'm not doing this.

*silence, then a wee squirrelly cough*

...We're on the air already?


Smiting. Definitely smiting. And no rum.

*horrified gasps*

Give me the kriffing notes.


Oh, they know who I am.

Annoyed Jedi is annoyed )
[identity profile]
Anakin: Um. What are we doing here?

Rory: Radio. Duh.

Anakin: This became my problem when?

Rory: When I had to do radio tonight and you generously volunteered to come help me.

Rory and Anakin do radio. Anakin is not very good with tact. )
[identity profile]
JOHN: Hewwo! My name's John! Hi! I'm seven and three quarters! Hi again! Can you all hear me! Does anyone else wanna say hi? Say hi guys!


[Thank you to Angel, Bridge, Cam, Sam, Anakin, Barbossa, Xander, Angela, Marty, Aeryn, Jaye, Rory, Sean, Vladdie, Chloe, and Veronica for helping with all this. If a link got missed, please forgive me. This day was absolutely HUGE and I couldn't get it all.]
[identity profile]
Barbossa: This be yer favorite pirate, bringin' ye the highs 'n lows, the goods, the bads, and everythin' else on this quiet Sunday in Fandom. T' make things a mite more interestin' I be bringin' along a friend t' help.

Anakin: I'm not your friend.

Barbossa: Ye can be quiet. I be not talkin' about ye.

Josh: I'm your friend, huh? I'm honored. Um, I guess. Have we actually met?

A Jedi, a pirate and a political operative fight over the microphone. This can only end well. )

That be all from the Crow's Nest fer tonight! Keep an eye out fer Matey-wit'-the-Hat...

Anakin: Especially if he's in a golf cart...

Barbossa: ...and have a good night!

Fandom High RPG

About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU

Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun


Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.