[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Hey gang. Jim Halpert here. I had to speed back from New York to bring the squirrels some nuts, but they've finally agreed to let me have my Friday nights to myself again.

Fortunately, they agreed to this on a really light week because everyone was still in New York.

New Year's Radio! )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
I can't believe they actually e-mailed me the notes. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that squirrels who can take detailed notes can use e-mail, but... Oh, wait, I'm on?

Happy Holidays, Fandom. This is Jim Halpert, reporting from my parents' house in scenic Scranton, P-A. We apparently have the technology to connect me to you through the use of something called a 'telephone,' so I can't get out of this like I did the day after Thanksgiving.

I have to get back to my nephew destroying me in Mario Kart, so let's get right to it.

HO! HO! HO! )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
School's out for winter, everyone, and you know what that means.

Actually, I don't know what that means. I'm a rookie here. But I'm pretty sure it means you're all too busy celebrating not having to learn or teach for two weeks that you're probably not even listening to me right now. Don't worry, I'll forgive you.

Who laughs this way: HO HO HO? Santa laughs this way: HO HO HO. )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Evening, everyone. This is a smokey Jim Halpert, telling you that only YOU can prevent kitchen fires by not letting Biff cook in your kitchen.

Where there's smoke, there's one of Jim's housemates. )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Hi there. You know, one of the best things about living in Fandom is that you apparently don't need to buy any ornaments for your Christmas tree. They might just appear in your sock drawer. I didn't know that before today.

Another good thing about Fandom? Having the chance to tell all of you what you did today. So let's get on with that, shall we?

I have nothing clever for the tag. All the cleverness was saved for the broadcast. )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
... OH! He beat you with his flush. Tough luck.

Oh, wait, am I on? Hi, Fandom! Jim Halpert here with your news and a bunch of squirrels. Gambling is legal here, right? If I were playing poker on the air with a bunch of squirrels I wouldn't get in trouble? Well, just in case, I want to make it clear that I am in no way doing that. And that sound you here is not me shuffling a new deck. It's probably some static. You should get a new radio. Maybe ask the squirrel on my right for some money since he's come into a lot of it recently.

Well, let's get on with the news fast so the squirrels and I can finish up our completely innocent conversation about what it would be like if we were playing Texas Hold 'Em.

[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Good evening, Fandom. This is Jim Halpert in a different night than usual, just to make sure you're all paying attention. Unfortunately being on a different day means that I can't really talk up how great my class is. And they really do deserve it when I do that because, really, they're a great class. I guess they'll just have to do without that praise this week.

But there is some actually news for the day, so let's get right to that.

Pirate Radio: Completely free of of hamster tubes. )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Hi. My name is Jim Halpert and I'm addicted to Facebook. So if I take a break to answer some Social Interview questions, well, you've been warned.

The answer to one question is LASER EYES. Which question? Tune in to find out! )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
'Twas the night before Halloween
And all across the town
Not a creature was stirring
Except to set up tricks to cause frowns

The costumes had been bought
And laid out with care
For the celebrations tomorrow
That soon would be there

But notes had been brought
To the station filled with booze
And I'm going to read them
I'm Jim, and this is the news

It's been a long day. That's my only excuse. )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Jim: Hey there. Did you know there was a dance going on tonight? Actually, I'm pretty sure you do know that and nobody's listening because you're too busy having fun.

.... At the dance.

Any other kinds of fun isn't anything I want to know about. Um. Let's start over.

Hey there. Did you know there was a dance going on tonight? Because there is. And let's just get on with the news before I make a joke that could be taken the wrong way.

That was cut, right? )

[OOC: Big thanks to [livejournal.com profile] fates_jaye for the assist!]
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Hey there, Fandom, it's Jim. Let's get this done fast so I can get back to playing some Farkle on Facebook.

Tiny radio is still cut! )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Good evening, Fandom! Or what's left of you, anyway. This is Jim Halpert, checking in while most of the island is off on a trip. And with so many people gone, that means the island is exposed for the worst kind of danger that could possibly be thrown at us. That's right, crickets.

Needless lj cuts ahoy! )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom. This is Jim Halpert and I might be dreaming. Either that or I actually did get tied up by a bunch of squirrels who carried me to the radio station and are giving me notes to read. I kind of hope it's a dream, but after being here for a month I'm pretty sure it's not.

So, I guess I'm doing the news!

Parental Radio )
[identity profile] makesfaces.livejournal.com
Good evening, Fandom! This is Jim Halpert, and I'm moonlighting here before I've officially started my actual job. I'm not sure how exactly that worked out.

... Why are there squirrels in the broadcast booth? And why are they giving me cards saying 'Welcome back'? This is going to be a strange night, isn't it?

Onto the news )

Well, Fandom, that's all from me tonight. And congratulations. I've been here three days and I'm so much more confused than I was when I first got here. That takes some talent. I'd give everyone a sticker, but I don't have any. And even if I did, I'm pretty sure the squirrels would take them first.

And on that note, good night!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: Hello, hello, hello, Fandom. It's Pam.

Jim: And this is Jim. And tonight is the end of an era. Not a very long era, and an era that only took place on Thursdays, but still.

Pam: I think I may cry. We should carve our initials into the desk or something, to memorialize our place here.

Jim: I've already written my name in crayon on the ceiling.

Pam: Well, that's not very fair.

Jim: I'm sorry that you didn't think to bring a crayon.

Pam: I have markers and pencils and stuff, but you know I can't reach. If only I had someone to write my name up there for me...

Jim: Maybe once we're done broadcasting.

Cut for the end of an era. Not a very long era, really. Not even a year. But still. The end! )

Jim: It's been a blast, Fandom. In the words of just about everyone who has ever signed a yearbook of someone they barely knew, stay sweet.

Pam: K.I.T.!

Jim: And we'll see you soon. In person. Not with our creepy disembodied voices speaking to you over electronic devices.

Pam: My voice isn't creepy. Yours might be.

Jim: Somebody doesn't want her name on the ceiling.

Pam: Neither of us has creepy voices!

Jim: I'll settle for that. Okay, Fandom! We're out of here! Have a good night.

Pam: Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Fandom!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Jim: Hello, Fandom. Tonight Pam and I are bringing you the news from a secret location.

Pam: Do you think they liked me?

Jim: The secret people whose house we are broadcasting liked you a lot. If they didn't, you'd probably have pie on your face. The apple didn't fall far from the tree in this secret household.

Pam: Oh, good. I was hoping I'd make a good impression on the secret people.

Jim: If they didn't like you, they're keeping it a secret from me. Which isn't likely. The Halperts are terrible at keeping secrets. Just like that.

Pam: And after all the work I put into keeping our location secret. Tsk.

Read more... )
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Jim: Hello, Fandom! This is Jim. *ahem*

"Pam": And this is Pam. If I sound a little weird it's because a cat's got my tongue. Because I was just an adorable little puppy and tried to eat the cat.

Jim: That wasn't a very funny joke, Pam. I think you may still be a little off due to the dog thing.

"Pam": It's still funnier than your jokes. Suck it, Halpert.

Jim: Wow. It's true, but still. Wow.

"Pam": It's okay because you're cute. Now you get started with the notes while I find out who won America's Next Top Model.

Jim: I believe it was Saleisha.

"Pam": Oh my god how?

Jim: I have no clue. Also, please don't ask me how I know that.

In which Jim tries to convince everyone that he's not broadcasting alone tonight. )

Jim: And that's it for both of us tonight. *ahem* Pam's not going to say goodbye because she was very excited to go on that walk and has already left. And my throat hurts for no particular reason. Night everyone!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: HELLO FANDOM. I don't know why I'm bouncy. This is Pam.

Jim: And this is Jim who is not bouncy. But I could be if people bought me a pogo stick for Christmas.

Pam: Your Christmas present is not a pogo stick.

Jim: Not from you, but maybe from one of our loyal listeners. I will also accept a trampoline.

Pam: I want anti-gravity boots!

More on Christmas gifts for your feet, then actual news )

Jim: And that's all the squirrels wrote.

Pam: I think my bounciness went away.

Jim: Want to get some candy on the way back, find the bounce again?

Pam: ....oooh. Yes. Night, Fandom!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Jim: Hey, Fandom. It's good to be back in the station and not, say, hiding under my bed from my family.

Pam: My dad thinks you might be kind of weird, by the way.

Jim: He is a very wise man.

Pam: Yeah, he said it in an approving sort of way.

Jim: I'm going to ignore the sarcasm and say that he's also very nice.

Pam: Awww, look at you, sucking up where my dad can't even hear.

Jim: I'm just making sure that when you tell him that I'm a very nice boy you won't be lying at all.

Pam: I already did that. And I wasn't.

Jim: You're very nice. Oh, hey, we have news to report, don't we?

Pam: So we do. And it's not via email and phones!

Jim: In that case let's spare Fandom before I start calling you cute over the air. Not counting that time.

This radio made me really thirsty )
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: ...okay, I have the email up. Are you there?

Jim: Yes, I am. Squirrels, are we on the air?

Squirrel: *makes squirrel noises*

Jim: I think that's a yes.

Pam: Hi squirrels! And hi...everyone else. Sorry if we sound like crap. We're on cell phones. This is Pam, coming to you from Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Jim: And this is Jim from a couple towns over that I'm not going to divulge for my own safety. No offense but my parents won't appreciate their car being in Jello.

Pam: ...no one come cover my parents' car in plastic wrap or anything, either, okay?

Jim: I think you'll be safe. And if you're not, somebody's going to get pranked in revenge.

Thanksgivaling Radio! )
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi, everyone. It's Pam.

Jim: And Jim. And we're here to bring you the news that hopefully has some bright stuff in it or we may need to make up things about puppies and kitties.

Pam: And maybe little baby birds, too? Those are so cute. They're fluffy!

Jim: And as a last resort, bunnies.

Pam: I like bunnies. Oh, oh, and baby seals. Maybe there were some baby seals in town today?

Jim: That sounds like something that would have happened. It was a cute animal convention. But more on that later.

Pam: Right. For now, classes.

Baby animal parade. )

Jim: Okay, I think there's just one more thing to do before signing off for the night.

Pam: Baby turtles? I like baby turtles.

Jim: Close. Radio squirrels? Come on out. You've done a great job reporting in the hospital and everything. You've kept track of a crazy amount. Come on, radio group hug.

Pam: ...or, you know, a figurative one if you're not into hugging, little squirrels. Night, everyone. Feel better.

Jim: Night! Hey, did you know that squirrels have claws? Enough hugging, ow.
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi, people! Jim's all better! No random scary drunk ladies or bitchy short girls this week! Except me, but I'm not that bitchy.

Jim: And to everyone that I pumpkinned last week, I am so very sorry. But you have to admit, it was kind of funny.

Pam: And there was a cape involved. Capes make it all good.

Jim: That's what I'm going to keep claiming.

Pam: Plus it made you sick, so I think you've paid your dues. And I also paid your dues, because that girl last week was really obnoxious.

Jim: That was kind of funny, too.

Pam: It was meant to be. Doesn't mean I'm doing it again.

Jim: Good. Because that would mean I'm really sick again and I'd rather avoid that.

Pam: Me too. Maybe I should get sick so you have to do this with random people.

Jim: Please don't.

Pam: Because I have so much control over that. Anyway. Onto the broadcast.

Where a relatively slow day just means a lot more banter )
Jim: Wow, Pam Beesly bringing the puns. Well done.

Pam: I learn from the best.

Jim: I'm the best? Why, thank you.

Pam: I didn't say that.

Jim: You're very mean.

Pam: I'll make it up to you. Say goodnight.

Jim: No. I want to be deemed the best punner.

Pam: Who exactly is the competition?

Jim: Just me.

Pam: There's your answer.

Jim: I'll take that. Goodnight!

Pam: Night!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Jim: Hello, Fandom. We hope you had a great day today and if you didn't we're still going to talk about it and possibly make fun of you about it a little.

Pam: What do you mean, possibly?

Jim: It might be one of those where the squirrels are vague about it and we don't know that they should be mocked.

Pam: When has that stopped us?

Jim: Good point. Okay, Fandom, if you didn't we're still going to talk about it and definitely make fun of you about it a little. Better, Pam?

Pam: Much. I am appeased. And it's a good night, because I totally already watched Top Model yesterday and I've had a normal amount of coffee. Go Team Beesly!

This cut mocks your mom )
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi everyone! It's Pam! I know, it's weird to hear me on a Wednesday, right? Get over it.

Jim: Greetings. This is James Halpert. And this is the completely serious news.

Pam: Very, very serious. Really. You look like you're at a funeral, Jim.

Jim: I suppose I am, Pam. This is where the events of the day pass on to their next life of being information instead of just events. Truly somber.

Pam: *hums a dirge*

Jim: Thank you, Pam. Let that humming signify to you that tonight we will focus on the Serious stories of the day and those alone. Also, please note that 'Serious' is capitalized. That's how Serious it is.

Pam: Very, very Serious. Let us start with the Serious library, since there are no classes -- which, frankly, I think sounds like we're lacking in Seriousness. And all of those Seriouses were capitalized too.

A Very Serious Radio Oh Em Gee )</>

Jim: And there we have it. A Completely Serious broadcast from at least half the team. Some people said it couldn't be done (Mel) but I believe we just proved that wrong.

Pam: *the sound of Pam drinking through a curly straw*

Jim: Do you have another straw? I'm going to Seriously need it once we're officially off the air.

Pam: I brought one in blue for you.

Jim: Thank you. Seriously. Good night, Fandom!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Jim: Hello, Fandom. It's Thursday again and you know what that means.

Pam: Yep, it means that normal people watched America's Next Top Model in the last twenty-four hours, but SOME PEOPLE can't find a freaking torrent.

Jim: I really don't know what's worse, the fact that you watch it or the fact that you take the time to download it.

Pam: Shut up, it makes me feel really smart. Last week, this one girl told everyone, on national TV, that she likes to hang off things. Like as a pastime. I feel like the president of MENSA when I watch.

Jim: What? I'm sorry, I was ignoring talk of a TV show that even I don't want to watch and I watch a lot of bad TV.

Pam: *sound of a pencil being thrown*

Jim: This is starting to feel like a couple weeks ago, so I'm just going to start reading our notes.

ANTM, Banana rights, Twinkie absorptive properties, and oh so much more )

Pam: I think that's it! Whooo!

Jim: Hopefully someone was able to cure your torrent woes.

Pam: I hope so. Seriously, just watch one episode and you'll understand.

Jim: Good night, Fandom! Also send her torrents for GOOD shows!

Pam: I WATCH GOOD SHOWS. Good night!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Jim: Hello, Fandom. It's Thursday and that means that you have to deal with us again. I'm Jim and this... Huh. You look like yourself again this week, Pam. Does that mean you're not going to threaten my life repeatedly?

Pam: Not unless you give me a reason to.

Jim: I'll do my best not to. Oh, by the way, before we get started, do you mind if I dedicate this broadcast to somebody?

Pam: ...go ahead.

Jim: Thanks. This one goes out to Turtle Wexler who knows why. Turtle, I'm still not telling you.

Pam: Telling her what?

Jim: ... She knows what.

Pam: But I don't. Telling her what?

Jim: I'll tell you later.

Pam: Why, is it a secret?

Jim: I'll tell you later. Hey, let's get started with the broadcast!

Telling her what? )

Pam: You're weird.

Jim: People keep telling me that for some reason.

Pam: So are you going to tell me the thing?

Jim: Once we're out of here.

Pam: Fiiiine. Bye everyone!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Jim: Hello, Fandom! It's another Thursday and that means Jim and Pam on the radio. I'm Jim and this is... Pam, something's different about you. New haircut?

Mel: Shut up. I'm not Pam. This is Mel Fray. You don't want to know why I am here. Can we get this over with please?

Jim: Wow, Pam. Speeding things along a little tonight. Are you feeling okay?

Mel: Stop calling me Pam.

Jim: Okay, Pamela. Bad mood.

Mel: Don't call me that! And I'm not in a bad mood!

Jim: Okay, okay. I'll take your word for it. Want to start reading the notes? Pam.

Mel: *snarl*

BFF! )

Jim:And that's it. Farewell, Fandom, Pam is about to kill me even though that sounds very unlike Pam.

Mel: Say Farewell to Jim, Fandom. Not-Pam is going to leave his body in a dumpster behind the station.

Jim: Always joking, Pam. Night everyone!

[OOC: Written, of course, with the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] cantjossme.]
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hello, everyone! This is Pam, and I'd like to take a moment to thank you all for voting for me and Jim. Without us, where would you get your terribly classy and highbrow humor?

Jim: This is Jim and I can burp the alphabet. But Pam can do it backwards. Show them.

Pam: Please, like I'm showing off our top-shelf material this early?

Jim: Good point. Why start with the burping when we can end on it?

Pam: Exactly. Oh, hey, look. Notes.

cut says what? )

Pam: ...I'd never thought of that. You should make that an ad campaign. And I think that's it.

Jim: Remember, Fandom: Don't be dumb. Use a prodom.
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi, people! It's Pam and Jim night, and this is the short one speaking.

Jim: And this is the tall one. You can tell that by the fact that my voice is much higher. Not in terms of pitch, but physically speaking.

Pam: Ah, yes, because you're so much farther from the mic, or something.

Jim: More specifically, because I'm up here, higher than you. And, yes, this is the material I go with for tryouts. Just for you, Fandom.

Pam: Feel special, boys and girls, because we clearly brought our A-game. You can't get height jokes just anywhere, you know.

Jim: Especially if you're short, because these jokes are top of the line, top shelf material. So if you're short, you'd need a ladder, or tall friends.

Pam: Luckily, I have both, though I left my ladder in my other skirt, damn.

Jim: You'll just have to settle for the tall friend then. Annnnd it looks like there's something else up here. Well, look at this. It seems we have radio notes.

Oooooooh. )

Jim: And that's all the squirrels wrote. Wait. Oh, hey, they also wrote some things about what I can do to myself. It doesn't sound comfortable and I don't think I'm going to try it.

Pam: Wow, creative use of [microphone feedback], squirrels.

Jim: I just hope they mean the food that squirrels are known for storing, otherwise I'm in pain just thinking about it. ... Remember, folks, this has been top of the line, top shelf comedy.

Pam: That's all we deal in here. Really.

Jim: Seriously. Good night, Fandom!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: Hey, everyone. It's Pam, like usual on Thursdays. Here's hoping I don't need a Sharpie tonight.

Jim: Hi! This is Jim and I've had so much coffee that I think I might never sleep again.

Pam: You didn't like your facial decorations last week?

Jim: Either that or I really like coffee. It could be either one. Guess which one it is.

Pam: How many guesses do I get?

Jim: Wrong answer. Let's get to the news.

Cut for too much coffee )

Jim: Good. The sooner we're done, the sooner I can beat your Tetris score.

Pam: You're vibrating too much to hit the buttons properly, anyway.

Jim: When I sit down with the game, a calm will come over me and the vibrating will be replaced by amazing Tetris-playing.

Pam: Except not. If you were going to beat it, you already would have.

Jim: I didn't have the power of caffeine with me before. Good night, Fandom, this argument is likely to continue. Tune in tomorrow to hear a report on how Pam cried like a baby at her shattered high score.

Pam: Or how Jim crashed and burned, faceplanted on his cell phone with a pitiful, pitiful score. Night!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi! This is Pam who doesn't have boils and can talk and Jim who has functional knees! ...I think. I mean, I'm not Jim and I'm not really looking at his knees.

Jim: But I'm wearing shorts, so if she really wanted to, she could. If anyone else wants to look at my knees, they'll be on display tomorrow in my room while I play games on my phone.

Pam: You still haven't knocked my scores out yet, have you?

Jim: That's a private matter that I will not discuss on the radio.

Pam: So that's a yes.

Jim: That's a 'read the news, Beesly.'

Pam: So touchy.

in which there is naptime, and yet this icon doesn't *quite* fit.... )
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hiiiii there, boys and girls! Since you're all tucked in and have brushed your teeth and said your prayers like good children who have a curfew, I'm sure, we thought it might be time for a bedtime story.

Jim: This story is called "The Little Temp That Could." It's a story of a little girl who annoyed the townspeople more and more and kept at it, day after day after day until people started to look up bus fare for a one way trip to the underworld.

Pam: And if you think you've already heard it, don't you worry one little bit, because I bet you haven't. At least not with musical accompaniment. Jim?

Jim's guitar: *made music that sounded okay for a bedtime story*

Once upon a time.... )
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Jim: [in a high pitched, squeaky voice, as if he had just inhaled some helium] Hello, Fandom! Your regular hosts were unable to make it tonight, so you have us for subs. I'm Wink Johnson.

Pam: [in a similar, marginally higher-pitched voice] And I'm Arcadia Wasp. It seems that your regular host and hostess were unavoidably detained, but we were more than happy to fill in.

Jim: After all, when the pirate asks you to fill in, you say "Yarr!" and you like it! Or else you walk the plank!

Pam: You could also say "Ahoy!" ...I just like saying "Ahoy!"

Jim: "Ahoy!" You're right. And that sounds even more fun coming from our amusingly high pitched voices.

Pam: Doesn't it? Though I don't know about you, but I always sound like this.

Jim: So do I, Arcadia. So do I. Look, the squirrels are shaking their tiny little fists at us! We should probably get on with the news.

In which two people who are totally not Jim and Pam talk funny for several minutes )

Pam: Aaaaand that is it. It really is fun to stretch out vowels, sounding like this.

Jim: Yeeeeeees. Although we already knew that because these are our normal voices. Your regular hosts should be back next week with their much less entertaining voices.

Pam: Unless they were eaten by wolves or something. We won't know until next week.

Jim: So stay tuned!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Jim: Hello, Fandom. We're here tonight to bring you something special, something magical, something you cannot live without. We like to call it the news of the day.

Pam: Magical?

Jim: Yes. My notes just turned into a rabbit.

Pam: Mine are, remarkably...white paper.

Jim: Mine is a white rabbit, so it's halfway there. Oh, wait, it still has writing on its fur. Here, bunny bunny. I just need to read you...

Bunnies and evil temps under here omg )

Pam: Does your rabbit have anything else to contribute?

Jim: Well, the magical broadcast is over so he turned back into a sheet of paper. Farewell, Mr Snuffles.

Pam: Poor bunny. We hardly knew ye. Night, everyone.

Jim: Night! Come back soon, Principal Washburn!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi hi hi! It's Jam and Pim, once again! Or something like that.

Jim: If you remove those names from each other, I'm the Jim half of the group and, might I say, you are all looking lovely this evening.

Pam: ...um, you can't see any of them. I mean, you can see me, so...uh, thanks, but you can't see the rest of them.

Jim: I don't need to see them. I just need to see these notes to know that they're all especially attractive tonight, present company included. In fact, you might want to check and make sure you have some good insurance, Pam, so you can make sure you didn't break anything when you fell from Heaven.

Pam: *dead silence*

Jim: You look beautiful when you're confused. It'll make sense in a couple minutes.

Pam: ...because I'll read some notes about how you hit your head? Do you need to go to the clinic? What's with the suit?

Jim: No, but by the time I'm done somebody may come to the radio station and try to send me there. Hopefully they'll escort me to the clinic, though, because a lovely escort to the clinic is always appreciated.

Cut and dedicated to Barney )

Jim: That's fine. Women of Fandom, if you liked what you heard tonight, call me. 555-5356.

Pam: Ladies, if anyof that worked on you, call me and I'll talk you through why it shouldn't. 555-5337.

Jim: My suit trumps your reasons. Good night, Fandom!

Pam: Yeah, no comment. Night, everyone!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi, everyone, it's Pam again, and Jim's here too, in case you want the news of what's happening way up in the stratosphere.

Jim: Today in the stratosphere there were clouds. Next I think we should do the news down on the ground.

Pam: You'll have to ask someone who spent their day way down against the dirt, as I can only tell you what happened about five feet and two inches above the ground, and I demand accuracy.

Jim: Luckily we had squirrels taking notes of everything going on that low to the ground. I understand that things were pretty nutty down there during lunch. Wait, I'm sorry, the squirrels had nuts for lunch. Fortunately the squirrels also took notes for things that happened between the ground and sky.

Pam: Oh, good. I wonder what'd happen if the squirrels actually decided no more notes for us. Not the whole radio staff. Just us. I'd blame you, personally, if that happened.

Jim: That's fair because the squirrels have prophecized that I will one day destroy their culture. I promise that won't happen. And now one of those squirrels is looking at me funny, so let's get this started.

Radio is weird tonight! And musical! )

Pam: And...that's it. And we didn't have random music play at us! Go us!

Jim: Thanks for dooming us.

Music: It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...

Pam: ...sorry. At least it's not Cher. Night, everyone!

Music: If I could turn back time...
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi people! It's Pam and Jim night, and this is Jim with a severe voice change. Except not really.

Jim: And this is Pam without the highly advanced voice synthesizers we normally use on my voice. But not. Whoever we are, we're here to bring you all of the news of the day except for the ones marked "classified."

Pam: And even those, we're planning to read to ourselves because we're nosy like that.

Jim: It's a perk of the job.

What could be under the cut? Surely not...radio? )

Pam: Finally. You people talk a lot.

Jim: They do indeed. So I'm going to start to balance it out by not saying anything else. ....

Pam: ...okay. This is Pam "Covered in" Beesly for Jim "Death Wish" Halpert, saying goodnight and shhhh, Fandom!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: Hey everyone, this is Pam and I'm pretty sure this week we're not pirates.

Jim: Of course not, that's silly. I'm Jim Halpert and this is WTFH news brought to you tonight by Chilly Boulder: the ice cream shop where it is fairly unlikely to be crushed by falling rocks.

Pam: But there's still like a...one in fourteen chance, right?

Jim: Let me check. *sounds of pencil writing on paper* ... Carry the one... Yep. One in fourteen. But if you survive, you can stick your head in ice cream to reduce the swelling.

Pam: And if you break your leg, I bet they have candy cane there to mix in. ...sorry, that was really bad.

Jim: This pun has been brought to you by the Fandom Park Service: providing homes for ducks since 2005. And now the news.

Jim and Pam: Taking the news seriously since tonight. )

Jim: Join us tomorrow on WTFH as Professor Mal Doran brings us the news you need to go into the weekend. This has been Jim Halpert, for Pam Beesly, saying good night, Fandom.

Pam: And on behalf of Fred the weatherman, who undoubtedly won't be allowed on the air anymore, goodnight and take care, Fandom.
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi everyone! This is Pam and Jim. Or, well, this is Pam. That's Jim.

Jim: Yarr! This be Jim Halpert of the dread ship Jellomold. We be here today to bring you the news from around port and mayhaps even rob and plunder! Yarr. Say, Pam, do you happen to know where Cap'n Barbossa keeps the rum?

Pam: ...I thought we learned about me and rum. Um. Why are you talking like a pirate? I thought that was in September?

Jim: Well, it be pirate radio, so Turtle 'n me decided to show some respect to our Cap'n, Barbossa, thinkin' that maybe we could get a raise... or paid at all... I'd settle for a hat.

Pam: *whispers* Do I have to do it too?

Jim: *whispers* You'll get this eyepatch to wear if you do.

Pam: *whispers* ...oooh. *scuffling* *normal voice* Argh, this be the dread pirate...ess Pam Beesly, eyepatch and all! Um, avast, and where be our notes?

Jim: They be right here! I took them from the buried treasure chest of Cap'n Nutters of the dread ship Imasquirrel. I had a map. The notes be sayin' that we start with...

Yarr, X marks the LJ-cut! )

Pam: Huzzah! Are we going to keep talking like this? Um, avast.

Jim: Of course we are, matey! Until we're done with the broadcast. Which we are... NOW! BYE FANDOM!

Pam: Bye! *whispers* ...want the eyepatch back?

Jim: *whispers* Keep it.
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Jim:Hello, Fandom! Welcome to your regularly scheduled Thursday night broadcast with your regularly scheduled hosts, Jim and Pam. I am not Pam.

Pam: I kinda hope they'd know that. Unless I have a really bad cold, I shouldn't sound like you. But anyway, I'm not Jim, so put those deduction skills to work, people.

Jim: We really should have a workshop on deduction. And that sounds to me like a clue that we should get started.

Lalala radio )

Jim: Have a good night, everyone. If you can get to sleep through the creepiness.

Pam: Night, people!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hi Fandom! We're back once again to tell you the news of the day in an insightful and non-irritating way.

Jim: Speak for yourself, I'm here to be shallow in my reporting and annoying.

Pam: ....Hi Fandom! I'm back once again to to tell you the news of the day in an insightful and non-irritating way. Jim will speak for himself.

Jim: Actually, I believe I already have spoken for myself. Check your tense, Beesly. And where else would we check our tenses?

In a tense situation! or something! )

Pam: Um, and that's the end of the notes.

Jim: Which means that it's time to meet the winner of last week's lightning round challenge. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the ONLY one who got all of the answers correct... the squirrel who took notes at the flag football meeting! Come on out here! Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!

Pam: Don't be modest, now! It doesn't matter if like most of the listening audience won't understand you! ...*pause* I don't think the squirrel wants to accept its prize, Jim. It'd've come out by now, wouldn't it?

Jim: It's just as well. The prize was an autographed picture of a squirrel anyway. It can get that any time. Okay, Fandom, that's it for us tonight!

Pam: Night everyone! And congrats again to new mommy, Aly!
[identity profile] keds-champion.livejournal.com
Pam: Hey, Fandom! It's Pam and Jim, and we're back on your radios. Um. This is Pam. Which you should know because I would worry if you confused our voices.

Jim: This is Jim, who is such a good impressionist that I could pretend to be Pam and you would be none the wiser. Except that I'm not doing that tonight. Or am I?

Pam: Dun dun dun!

Jim: The answer is no, I'm not. And now, onto the news.

Yes, onto the news, which lies behind THIS CUT. DO YOU DARE TO CLICK IT? )

Pam: Okay! So sleep tight, people, and don't let the ninjas with lasers get you!

Jim: And remember, get those lightning round answers to the station by next week for a chance to win a mystery prize! Good night!
[identity profile] fat-halpert.livejournal.com
Pam: ...is it on?

Jim: Yep. See that light? The one that says "ON AIR"?

Pam: ...shut up, I didn't see it before. Um, hi people! This is Pam!

Jim: And this is Jim.

And on with the news! )

Pam:...and I think that's it.

Jim: Yep. That's the end of our notes. Thank to everyone out there who made tonight possible. Pam, of course. The squirrels. My parents, I couldn't have done it without you. And Nicholas Tesla, one of the many people credited with the invention of the radio. I choose you because you have a cool name.

Pam: That is a cool name. And you're a dork.

Night, everyone!

Fandom High RPG

About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU

Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun


Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.