Fandom Radio [Thursday, November 29]

[keds-champion.livejournal.com]

Jim: Hey, Fandom. It's good to be back in the station and not, say, hiding under my bed from my family.

Pam: My dad thinks you might be kind of weird, by the way.

Jim: He is a very wise man.

Pam: Yeah, he said it in an approving sort of way.

Jim: I'm going to ignore the sarcasm and say that he's also very nice.

Pam: Awww, look at you, sucking up where my dad can't even hear.

Jim: I'm just making sure that when you tell him that I'm a very nice boy you won't be lying at all.

Pam: I already did that. And I wasn't.

Jim: You're very nice. Oh, hey, we have news to report, don't we?

Pam: So we do. And it's not via email and phones!

Jim: In that case let's spare Fandom before I start calling you cute over the air. Not counting that time.



School, where things actually happened on a Thursday for the first time in weeks.

Jim: Ethics was all about wrath today. That's wrath, not rat, which would be a really interesting topic for Ethics. Master Skywalker told class about how he treats students who are very bad and they talked about how to avoid wrathing about. Sokka and Victor discussed Victor's lifespan, which made Master Skywalker very happy. Really. So did Qui-Gon but for entirely different reasons. He later asked questions without getting all the answers. River asked about consequences and John "Thunderbolt" Sheppard made Master Skywalker extremely happy, really. Fandom Invasions focused on tiny teachers, including Zoe, Anakin, Aly, Deadpool, Vala, Big John W, and a TA Peter Petrelli who was not tiny at all. And Communications has a new permanent teacher hopefully, which caught the students offguard. They answered questions with symbols and new teach Dr Suresh stuck around for questions.

Pam: Mmmmmmmm.

Jim: What's with that?

Pam: ...what? Nothing. I didn't do anything. Anyway! Pop Culture talked about TV, and there were notes and questions. And Bridge was all bouncy when he opened the library.

Jim: But he probably wasn't walking around going 'Mmmmmmmm' and denying it.

Pam: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Jim: How's the water over there in Egypt?

Pam: I wouldn't know. How's the water in France?

Jim: It's nice and answers questions honestly.

Pam: Water can't answer questions, Jim. Which just proves my point.

Jim: That's just discriminatory against water, Pam, and I expected more from you. Don't forget, we're mostly water.

Pam: No, it's true.

Jim: Fine. You've made me resort to this. I have a glass of water right here.

Pam: Note how it isn't talking.

Jim: Yes, it is. You just don't speak Waterese so it just sounds like nothing.

Pam: ...I see. What is the water saying?

Jim: It's saying that you have a crush on your teacher.

Pam: I DO NOT. Water is a liar.

Jim: It's also saying that you're cute when you're denying and would you like to move on to dorms?

Pam: Yes, yes I would. Thank you, water. Does water speak English, or do you need to translate that?

Jim: I translated. I understand Waterese fluently.

Pam: I keep learning these things about you.

Dorms, where people are probably speaking Waterese all over

Pam: So, River rearranged her room and explained it to Cassandra, Peter Parker...unstuck his fisharm, okay, Isabel got a phone call, Rodney and John played chess, Karal got glittered -- ooh, boykissy? -- and Hoshi checked out Eve's music.

Jim: I wonder if it was water music.

Pam: Like Handel?

Jim: Exactly. Wow, good one.

Pam: Thank you.

Jim: You're welcome.

Town, where there is actually water.

Jim: Peter Parker was at the beach where birds ate his fisharm and I didn't expect to say that today. Luke's Diner was opened by Yitzhak, George Michael opened the banana stand, Mary opened the hotel, Gabriel opened the church, Lana opened Book Haven, and Isabel opened Pixie Dust. What do all these places have in common?

Pam: ...they were all open?

Jim: I'm sorry, I was looking for 'no customers.' 'No customers.' Fortunately we had Wellspring Arms and T&C today. Over at Wellspring, Deadpool and Rikku talked about jail and mini golf while Sokka wanted Rikku to be Cable and it sounds like somebody has a crush. Also, Cassandra stopped by to watch Deadpool and Rikku spar. Meanwhile, Jeff visited Turtle and they talked about... ooh, I don't think I should say. Sounds like it was a secret. A secret cake.

Pam: Nate read in his apartment, disappointing Deadpool with a locked window. Annette was thoughtful in the park, and then caught up with Adam. In Caritas, there was a birthday party. But first there was Constable Fraser stopping in to see that woman who weirdly doesn't like me. But anyway, Xander's birthday party! There were presents, and Marco crashed so he had to ask Bridge who Xander actually is. Mary talked to Anders about gifts, and Bridge talked to Isabel about memory loss. And then she mistook Anders for Wyatt. ....huh. I've never had trouble telling my boyfriend from the other tall floppy haired boys. Which are...you know, Sam.

Jim: We're like twins except for the part where we don't look anything alike. And are different ages. But thank you for not making that mistake.

Pam: I felt perhaps I needed to clarify now.

Jim: Sam, Dawn, and I all thank you. Sam and Dawn, I now speak for you. They want cocoa.

Pam: I'd offer to make some but I don't want to boil water after I've kind of bonded with some.

Jim: My glass of water says that he's into that. Huh. Mr Water is going to spend some time all the way over here, far, far away from me.

Pam: See, the water is a liar and kind of weirdly kinky. I'm not sure he's a reliable source at all, so maybe yes, he should sit over there.

Jim: Not a liar. He insisted that he really liked it. In other news, I'm going to be drinking a lot of soda and milk for a few weeks because eww.

Pam: I was going to take a shower before bed but you've ruined that for me.

Jim: My job here is done. Oh, wait, I have a real job here and it's not done. Crap. Okay, there was a Frog! And Willow was geeky with Bridge and Thanksgivingy with Billy who crashed. Faith talked to Mary and Bridge, who was awkward with Anders, who discussed relative cuteness with Marco, who was in a movie with Kevin Bacon. Isabel finally found Wyatt, Charlie wanted to light candles, and Mary told Bridge hi for Anders. Finally the birthday boy showed up, and there was cake. Hooray for cake! And then Mel and Faith drank and talked but, come on, I'm still on the cake.

Pam: Pie's better. Remember that for March.

Jim: Are you seriously asking for birthday pie? You're not human, are you?

Pam: Cake's fine, but pie is just better. You are more than welcome to try to sway me on this.

Jim: Birthday pie. I think I'd rather spend time with the masochistic water right now. Yikes.

Pam: You're very mean to me tonight.

Jim: You're talking about birthday pie tonight.

Pam: I said I can be swayed!

Jim: Seriously, though. Birthday pie. Just... just finish off the notes. Oh my god.

Pam: Worst radio ever. God. I do not come here to be judged and compared to water. Anyway, reading went on in the clinic.

Jim: Want to stop for some hot chocolate on the way back? Far away from water and water products? And pie?

Pam: You're prejudiced against pie.

Jim: Only on someone's birthday.

Pam: Mine isn't for three months.

Jim: Yeah, but it's Xander's birthday. We can have pie tomorrow.

Pam: Sigh. Yay for hot chocolate though.

Jim: And with that we're out of here. Night everyone!