WTFH

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ....and we're back! But not for long, because, that's right, everyone, the time is tick-tick-ticking away on your two most favorite radio hosts as we inch our way closer to that sweet, sweet graduation! Today's the last day of classes for us seniors out there, and then it's onto whatever exciting new thing may be next. Maybe it's college (community). Maybe it's New York! Maybe it's going to space because half y'all are actually aliens! I don't know! All I do know is that it is time for the moment you've all been waiting for. That's right. It's actually time for...

Both: ~the News~.

Troy: Nice. Astrid?

Astrid: Thanks, Troy. Starting, as always, with ~the School~, our final round of Thursday classes had Photography doing final presentations, Wilderness Survival went hiking with bears, and ALL PUNCH, appropriately, had a battle royale.

Troy: In the library, Belle had to deal with jumping ropes and cookbooks...not directly related, although there might be a joke about spaghetti in there somewhere? Anyway, I guess that goose in Ignis' office has it to himself now, since Ignis said he doesn't need it any more.

Astrid: No notes for ~the Dorms~, but over in ~the Town~, Vi got to meet the new store cat over at Magpie Emporium and helped Steph settle on Saffron for a name, and also, there was a roomba. Jon also stopped in to meet this new cat and also maybe Steph a little bit, too, while he was at it.

Troy: I had to do actual work over at Groovy Tunes, Kurt came into the clinic for a wrist check-up and to boggle over surviving their first semester--you guys didn't even get attacked by Christmas or get stuck in a hole for weeks, sit down; I swear, kids these days just don't know how good they've got it!

Astrid: Liz's relatively fine day at the Photo Hut was a bit spoiled by Prompto bringing in news that he has to spend more time back home now, and Terrain class finished up with some paintball, truly a classic Fandom finale to any class...especially ones you'd have never expected.

And that's it for the notes this morning! If you've still got a few classes left, good luck! We'll see you next week, and, until then, this has been Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: ...aaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: Have a good one, guys.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Let's take a moment to not thank our last guest, who I assume is some sort of ghost with a pair of maracas, because I have not stopped hearing them and yet I can't find anyone actually playing them.

Astrid: That...sounds like something you might want to get checked out, Troy.

Troy:....maybe. But first! ~The News~! Astrid?

Astrid: Erm, uh, thanks, Troy....that's right, time for ~the News~, starting, as always, with ~the School~, where Photography talked photojournalism, Wilderness Survival learned how to navigate, and ALL PUNCH....you're never going to believe this one, listeners, but they punched things.

Troy: In a bar! In the library, Belle was dealing with the same ghost we're probably dealing with here, only it was with a ukelele instead of maracas, and Ignis still hasn't taken care of that goose problem in his office.

Troy: No notes this week for ~the Dorms~, but in ~the Town~, Margo was considering some redecorating over at Pick Your Poison, Kurt came into the clinic with a hurt wrist, and Prompto came into the Photo Hut for lunch with Liz and they were still talking about last weekend. And I was at Groovy Tunes, getting accepted into college!

Astrid: Really? Congrats, Troy. What are you going to be studying?

Troy: I have no idea, but they do have a course on Ladders!

Astrid: ....that sounds perfect for you, Troy. Anyway, moving on with non-collegiate news, Steph went about her buisness over at Magpie Emporium, where Steve stopped by to chat in a fashion that had nothing to do with a rickshaw, except that it kind of did beause he told he about another rickshaw chase that involved a fox that stole art. Octavia went over to the Cape Rouge to get some help with laundry and have an awkward conversation with Duke and Lucifer, and, in bar news, Annie seemed a little more focused on other things than bartending at the Devil's Nest, but she still made Gladio a drink and talked with him about her superpowered kids from last weekend.

And, with that, we've reached our final note, and, honestly, I'd like to get out of here before I start hearing this fabled maraca-playing ghost myself. So, with that, for ~the News~, this has been Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: ....aaaaand this Disco Spider!

Astrid: Happy Friday everyone. I think it might actually be a normal one.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ....and we're back! Let's take a moment to again thank our last guest, a singing frog with a top hat, and remember, folks, those tickets for that exclusive show down by docks are on sale now. But, of course, it is now the time you've all been waiting for. That's right. It's time for the one, the only...~the News~.

Astrid: That's right, Troy. Starting, as always, with ~the School~, Photography learned about stock photography, Wilderness Survival went fishing, and ALL PUNCH dealt with an obstacle course beset with foam acorns tossed by giant squirrels.

Troy: It was....mildly terrifying, actually! Oh, and also the coffee goose visited Ignis during his office hours again, because that's definitely a thing now.

Astrid: No notes for ~the Dorms~ this week, but in ~the Town~, Prompto and Liz chatted about karaoke over burgers at the Photo Hut, Libby got to meet Will's dog over at the clinic, and Troy got into a fight with his coworker over at Groovy Tunes.

Troy: It wasn't a fight, it was a disagreement, but that guy is clearly wrong. Anyway, Amaya got a giant birthday cupcake at the Forge--

*strangled gasp* I want a giant birthday cupcake!

Astrid: ...aren't you always stealing those giant cookies at school dances and then regretting it the next day?

Troy: Astrid. Cookies and cupcakes are completely different. Anyway, she also got presents from Dwight, Steph was pondering escape rooms at Magpie Emporium before Vi showed up and awkwardly landed a job there. Margo was absolutely living for her new shoes at Pick your Poison, and Billy was out enjoying the Beach. Terrain Class left to go to a volcano!, and at Caritas, Gladio found out that Annie has merch and it's very clear that Tiny needs a cape.

*enthusiastic chittering*

Astrid: And that visual is an excellent note to leave you with this week, I think, and not just because it's the last note. For Fandom Radio, this has been Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: ....aaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: We'll see you next time.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: .....and we're back! Let's give one last round of applause for our last guest, an eldridch monster from the depths of the very existence of mankind--wow, what a get!--and then we'll move onto the moment you've all been waiting for...that's right, it's the one, the only...it's ~the News~!

Astrid: That's right, Troy, we've somehow managed to keep enough of our sanity in tact after such an encounter to read notes scribbled by rum-soaked squirrels, which, honestly, doesn't make us sound that sane at all. But even if it turns out we've all just been screaming futilely into the void this whole time, the notes still must be read, and read they shall be, and so let us continue on in this endless slog that is existence.

Starting, as always, with ~the School~! Photography learned about fashion photography, Wilderness Survival went tracking wildlife in the Preserve, which included a rare sighting of, appropriately enough, an alot of wilderness, and ALL PUNCH learned to punch with their feet. You know, in some parts of the world, I hear they actually call that kicking.

Troy: Kicking? You don't say! Fascinating!

Astrid: During his office hours, Ignis' conversation about alcohol and jello with Goose inspired a new recipeh...yes, for some reason, it's spelled like that...and in the library, Belle was dealing with a very small but very mysterious water problem.

Troy: In ~the Dorms~....that's right, ladies and gentlemen, we have a dorms note! But it's really just Kurt playing basketball in the gym, so I meeeaaaan....that's still something?

Astrid: It sure is, Troy. And getting us started in ~the Town~ in the very, very, very wee hours of the morning, Billy was outside MHA and commisserated with Jon about his current difficulty sleeping. And, later on in the day at MHA, Stark got a visit from Din and Drogu to see how he was doing after returning from a little jaunt up in space.

Troy: Margo was lounging and reading at Pick Your Poison, and Steph tried to solve the mystery of whether or not the gremlins solved the mystery of their mystery game at the Mystery...I mean, Magpie Emporium. Steph also had the chance to swing by the Perk, where she got to chat it up with Rey about the new lightsaber design Rey was working on. Meanwhile, Liz's attempts to update the Photo Hut's social media accounts was rudely interrupted by Prompto bringing lunch and making karaoke plans. I ignored my coworker and did the responsible thing looking at college stuff at Groovy Tunes, and Libby brushed up on allergens at the Clinic.

Astrid: And that looks like it concludes our notes for this week. Thanks for listening, everyone. For Fandom Radio, this has, of course, been Astrid, the Normal Human...

Troy: ...aaaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: Have a good weekend.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ....and we're back! Let's take a moment to again thank our special guests in the last segment, all of those fish who are watching you sleep, which is kind of creepy, if you really think about it! But now, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. That's right, it's time for none other than...~the News~.

Astrid: That's right, Troy. ~The News~, starting with ~the School~, as always, for which there are no notes, because we are still on vacation.

Troy: Boy, aren't we ever! The same goes for ~the Dorms~, but back in ~the Town~, not a whole lot has been going on, but Will did move into his new apartment with some help from Buck, so there is that...

Meanwhile, on ~the Vacation~, we had our first morning on the much cooler island where most of us are at right now, Pemba! Ignis woke up with a hangover and couldn't remember if him and Goose were kissing the night before. Spoiler alert! They were!

Astrid: In Summer's post-party room, Amaya also seemed to have been hungover after crashing there, but Jon seemed rested enough to offer his help in cleaning up.

As opposed to Irene, who got to enjoy an apparently 'noteably quiet' night in a room all to herself. Vi had slept out in her suite's lounge, while Miguel made coffee in his, much to Rosa's assumed appreciation.

Troy: Alara made sure to enjoy the beach, while Gladio provided video evidence of Ignis' debauchery the night before to Prompto over breakfast.

Astrid: The squirrels have noted that Dwight, Sidon, Irene, and myself managed to catch their attention in going diving, while Irene also took some time to sing the praises of spa treatments to Dwight, who did not seem...entirely convinced about pedicures.

Troy: We know at least Shunsui, Sakaki, and Libby all had a chance to explore Pembra more, Guillermo was spotted birdwatching, and Aphra explored some old ruins. I found out that flying foxes were not actually foxes, but actually giant bats, like, really big, just as Kurt and Jo because they were there, too, and talked about it.

Astrid: The evening was much quieter, probably because most of the squirrels seemed to have gone off on their own on Zanibar Island, where Jon checked out cocktails and Afro-Jazz. Liz and Tahani were both spotted enjoying the sunset cruise, Clare was at the pool and Vi at the beach, while Dwight turned in early to enjoy all those aforementioned fish that are wathing us all sleep right now.

You know...it takes a special kind of animal to write a statement like that when watching people all day is pretty much the whole point of their existience, but what do I know? I just read the news.

Or I would, if I had any more news to read. That seems to be the last of the notes, everyone. Thank you for listening, enjoy the rest of your vacation. This has been Astrid, the Normal Human....

Troy: Aaaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: Have a great day.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Let's take a moment to thank our last guess, a half-naked flying baby shooting arrows at people, which I still maintain...is...uh....kinda rude, dude. But luckily, we have the arrows...of news!...

Astrid: Notes. They're just notes.

Troy: Arrows of news! to shoot right back into your hearts to keep you updated on all the hot squirrel gossip and goings-on about town! Let's get into it, shall we?

Astrid: Indeed we shall. Starting, of course, as always, with ~the School~. Photography learned all about taking photos of food, Wilderness Survival learned how to collect and purify water, and ALL PUNCH talked about safe sex.

Troy: Which is decidedly not punchy. Anyway, Ignis also held his office hours, but they were mostly just used for flirting with a goose.

Astrid: Just Goose. Not a goose. I feel that is actually a very important distinction.

Troy: Is it, though?

Astrid: ... yes.

Troy: If you say so. Anyway, nothing for ~the Dorms~, but in ~the Town~, Dwight was working on some side projects at the Fix & Clean and I was definitely not singing catchy pop songs at Groovy Tunes. Kurt brought soup for Libby over at the Clinic and they talked about letters from home, and Will came in to tell her about how he got hit by a car, which is awesome.

Astrid: Prompto and Liz had lunch and discused their plans for Valentine's Day over at the Photo Hut, while at Pick Your Poison, Margo and Irene discussed plans for their Stupid Sexy Valentine's Day Party.

....I don't think that's what it's actually called, for the record, that's just how the squirrels wrote it down.

Troy: Steph got a break from cleaning up board games over at Magpie Emporium when Vi stopped by to say hi, and Billy was looking a little rough at the Perk and told Jo he'd been having trouble with nightmares. That's not good! Sounds scary!

Astrid: Will had a doughnut and a dog over at J,GoB, where he talked with Irene about aforementioned dog, car accident, and Stupid Sexy Valentine's Day Party. Buck got filled in on some of the more juicy and sordid details of Will's car accident, which also included a breakup, so....rough week for Will, I guess. Steve with the tattoos also caught up with the details and shared his own messed-up break-up stories.

Troy: Terrain class practiced with obstacles before taking it to the streets! And in bar news, Laszlo had questions about an owl at Caritas, while both Gladio and Wanda appreciated Annie's new nails at the Devil's Nest, before talking about nice light banter such as alternate reality versions of themselves and what happens if Gladio dies.

Astrid: Which is clearly a great note to end the broadcast on. Thanks for listening everyone, have a good weekend, Happy Valentine's Day, all that good stuff. This has been Astrid, the Normal Human....

Troy: .....aaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: We'll see you next week.

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ....and we're back! Let's give one more round of applause for our last guest, three kids in a trenchcoat who aren't fooling anyone, and then it's time to move onto the moment you've all been waiting for, that's right! It's thrilling. It's exciting. It's...

Both: ~The News~

Troy: Nice. That's right, folks, it's time for ~the News~, starting, as always, with ~the School~.

Photography learned about different kinds of shots, Wildernes Survival made forts out of snow, and in ALL PUNCH, we threw snowballs, which is like punching with snow!

Belle was not trusting the peace and quiet in the library, and I do not blame her. Vi was mostly just impressed by all the books.

Astrid: Ignis held office hours, where Goose stopped in to let him know he enjoyed having dinner the night before, with potential plans to do it again. Meanwhile, in ~the Dorms~, Guillermo and Kurt decided to stay in and enjoy a vampire movie marathon.

Then, in ~the Town~, Liz was updating all the social media for the Photo Hut, and Prompto brought some lunch to enjoy while they caught up on how their days were going. Kiem took to feeding the birds down at the park, and Billy is already over winter at the Perk. Dwight was enjoying some down time at the Fix and Clean, and things were pretty quiet for Troy at Groovy Tunes.

Troy: But, like, not in the good way. In the weird way. I was not a fan! The kind of quiet Libby had at the clinic, though, that was the good kind of quiet, because, you know, clinic.

Astrid: Terrain class headed to Alaska to also make snow shelters, so I think we might be pretty good in the event we need a lot of snow shelters one day. And, in bar news, Laszlo was trying to figure out what Tino was doing on his phone at Caritas, which sounds like a very dangerous game to play, and the axes are still plastic at the Devil's Nest. There, Annie and Gladio talked about how the Devil's Nest is a bar of many hats but not as many shirts, and Stark learned that Annie has lollipops now.

Troy: And now I want a lollipop now, too!

Astrid: Well, that was the last note, so I guess that means you can go and find one. Thanks for listening everyone. This has been Astrid, the Normal Human...

Troy: ......aaaaaand the disco spider!

Astrid: Have a great weekend.

Troy: BUTT SOU--

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ....and we're back! Let's give another round of applause to our last guest, a food expert, who agreed with me whole heartedly that unfrosted Pop Tarts are stupid and, quite frankly, an abomination to the human race. Isn't that right, Astrid?

Astrid: I am contractually obligated to agree, Troy.

Troy: And so it's settled! Now, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. That's right, it's time for...the one, the only...~the News~. Starting, as always, with ~the School~. Astrid?

Astrid: Well, Troy, yesterday, in school-related news, Photography shared their photos from last week and talked about framing and composition, Wilderness Survival went into the woods to talk about hypothermia, and ALL-PUNCH got themselves into a bar fight.

Ignis got a visit from Goose in his office to ask a few grocery shopping questions, and over in the library, Belle dealt with cookbook wars and a visit from Number Five bearing Pop Tarts--

Troy: Probably unfrosted one!

Astrid: It doesn't actually say. But they did apparently join in on the Pop Tart discourse and Five promised to bring her the marshmallow ones next week.

Troy: Not if I don't buy them all first!

Astrid:...I'll make sure to save some at the store, Five.

Troy: Astrid! You Benedict Cumberbatch!

Astrid: Moving on, it's time we made our way into ~the Dorms~ since we do actually have notes for ~the Dorms~ this week! It appears as though Kurt's milkshake did, in fact, bring all the boys to the yard, except that the milkshake was breakfast and the yard was the second floor common room. Number Five was mostly just there for the coffee and acknowledging that it was morning before making with the introductions with Kurt and complimenting his tail. Not dirty. Kiem wanted in on Five's coffee game, learned the rules of said coffee game, and then made with the introduction as well because Five has not been exactly 'social.'

Kiem was also impressed by Kurt's tail, and, to reiterate, not dirty, and they talked about Kurt's biblical reading assignment for class. Harry decided cereal was too much work for morning and stuck with Pop Tarts, and Kiem learned that Harry is not a coffee person, and the lack of anyone else making coffee inspired Five to chat with Harry about how this place really does put you through the most excruiating trials like that.

Guillermo's friendliness had Harry wondering if everyone else had coffee already because he was still working on waking up, then he made plans with Kiem about what to tell Dean Skywalker in regards to their jazz hands adventure, then made plans with Kurt about getting some gaming systems for their room.

Troy: Neeeeeerds! But, uh, did they...did the squirrels mention which ones?

Astrid: They did not include that detail, no.

Troy: Damn. Well. That's fine. It's fine. It was probably the nerdy one, anyway. But Guillermo wondered if Number Five's name was a codename, and then I showed up to be awesome and still can't believe all the good Pop Tarts had been taken already, then I gave Harry a lesson on how to be cool, and I gave Kiem a lesson on how getting punched is cool.

Alexis also had Thai food later on in the third floor common room, which she shared with Alara and they caught up, and Tahani thought all the food was because Alexis got dumped, and anyone who would dump Alexis is a straight-up chump.

Astrid: Over in ~the Town~, Troy was spitting out, quote, 'mad beats', at Groovy Tunes, and Libby had a quiet day at the Clinic, save for Dr. Halstead checking in on her.

Troy: Ha. Checking in. I get it! Steph was getting all stoked about some show premeiring at Magpie Emporium; Vi dropped in to ask Steph about a shirt, and Steph asked Vi about how she's settling in, which was generally...meehhhh. Prompto also stopped into the Photo Hut to pick up his key from Liz and talk about how it was kind of weird that they were moving in together.

Astrid: Yang's Terrain class went rock climbing, Laszlo was surprised that there wasn't more news from home during his Caritas shift, and Annie was surprised about egg whites in drinks for her Devil's Nest shift. Gladio didn't seem to mind, though, and gave the egg drink a try before talking to her about giant birds.

And, on that note, we conclude all the news that the squirrels thought was worth mentioning from yesterday. What will they find noteworthy next week? You'll just have to tune in to find out. For Squirrel Radio, this has been Astrid, the Normal Human...

Troy: .....aaaaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: Have a great weekend.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! I'm back! Did you miss me? I bet you missed me.

Astrid: We did miss you. I mean, just look at the squirrels, they're celebrating.

*squirrely cheers*

Troy:....I'm pretty sure they're just getting a head start on New Year's, actually, but, you know what? I'll take it. You want to know what else I'll take? These notes, because that's what we're here for and there's really only a few of them, so let's get this show on the road!

~The School~? Quiet, because we're still on break, bay-beeee, except for Belle at the library, because she's a nerd and apparently doesn't approve of New Year's traditions.

Astrid: All quiet in ~the Dorms~ as well, but in ~the Town~, Liz was giving the Photo Hut a deep clean, Steph set up some new comics at Magpie Emporium, and good old Laszlo held a special on Regular Human Gin over at Caritas--

*irritated chittering*

I'm sure Radio Squirrels can have Regular Human Gin, too. But you should be sure to ask nicely.

Troy: Anyway, New Rosa, not Old Rosa, was generally not impressed, but they talked about who actually does like gin and that Rosa works at Groovy Tunes, which is where all the cool people work.

Astrid: Why, Troy, don't you work at Groovy Tunes?

Troy: Why, yes, Astrid. Yes, I do.

Astrid: So you heard it here first, folks. All the cool people work at Groovy Tunes. Meanwhile, Eric and Laszlo discussed the difference between luring in Regular humans as opposed to Mediocre human.

Troy: Wait, so if you're a Normal human, Ast, does that mean you're actually not a Regular human?

Astrid: I think....this conversation has gone on too long already. That's our last note, anyway, so, for the last time in 2021, this has been Astrid, the Normal Human...

Troy: ....aaaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: For Fandom Radio. Have a good last day of the year, everyone.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ....and we're back. It's a marshmallow day out there this morning, folks, so dress accordingly....whatever that means, and, as far as how terrible Christmas can be, we...haven't had it too bad this year! It's almost enough to make me start to see why some of y'all actually do get into this holiday cheer thing. In fact, there's a big one that's been missing this year, so....you thinking what I'm thinking, Astrid?

Astrid: *long uncertain pause* ...no?

Troy: Christmas Troy!

Astrid: .....right! Of course! Christmas Troy, how could I have forgotten? Yes, obviously, clearly, we need to do a Christmas Troy.

Troy: So you heard it here first, folks, if you're the dorms, swing by the common room tonight for the annual Christmas Troy, and hopefully, nothing tries to eat us in the meantime! And speaking of in the meantime, let's get to these notes!

Astrid: Starting, as always, with ~the School~, Hyrule class took a field trip to the very aptly-named Death Mountain, we naturally put on a show for Bardic Inspiration, and World Mythology discussed the Oresteia, but it's all Greek to me. Meanwhile, the music had Belle humming as she worked in the library.

Troy: ~the Dorms~ were quiet again, but in ~the Town~, I was feeling really glad we have a good selection of solid headphones at Groovy Tunes. At the Nerd Shoppe, Steph also chose silence over bells, and Din brougth Grogu in to make a bold effort to keep his tiny green paws off the shiny things and they talked about the purpose of the nerd dice, and at the Photo Hut, Prompto brought Liz burgers so they could talk about what a good time they had on their ~daaa~aate~ the night before.

At the Devil's Nest, Annie and Gladio talked about how Annie's boyfriend is still a cat and that one time Gladio was a plant, while at Caritas, I talked to Laszlo about the importance of good titles and nicknames.

Astrid: How many are you up to now?

Troy: Not enough.

Astrid: And we'll conclude this morning's note by mentioning that Cooking Class for Grown-Up managed to go through the whole semester without burning down the community center, even after making their own recipehs (yes, they spelled it like that, I just read the notes, everyone), which honestly? I feel a little disappointed.

Troy: They could have at least burnt it down a little. As a treat.

Astrid: But I guess we'll continue on without a scorched community center for now. Until next time, everyone, this has been Astrid, the normal Human...

Troy: Aaaaaand Troy T-Bone Butt Soup Disco Spider Barnes!

Astrid: Have a good weekend.

**CLICK!!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy:...and we're back! I'm back! I don't necessarily want be back, because it's December, and that's terrible, but here we are, anyway, and we're here to give you ~the News~, which isn't all terrible yet, but probably will be next week, and even worse than that the week after that.

Astrid: Always glad to bring a nice dose of holiday pessimissm into your December mornings, everyone! But, with that said, let's get into it, starting, of course, with ~the School~.

We wrote essays about where in Hyrule we'd like to visit most in Hyrule class, we had to escape crazy fans in Bardic Inspiration, and World Mythology talked about myths that truethe library.

No notes for ~the Dorms~, but over in ~the Town~, the bakers at J,GoB took inspiration from yesterdays large furry beverage distributors with a wide range of Coke-theme treats. Stark and Kitty discussed the merits of Coke in baked goods and how the bears are better than most December stuff--

Troy: TRUTH.

Astrid:--and talked about how their classes have been going. Will noted to Stark that it was kind of interesting that they'd just been talking about the bears, and then, poof, bears--

Troy: I swear, you guys, this island listens...

Astrid:--and then they talked about how Will's life was much more normal back home, and Stark's? Well, normal is all pretty relative, anyway, right? Travis was just generally startled about being hugs by the bears and wondering if we were supposed to drink the soda, and Stark sort of explained that this is just December in Fandom.

Troy: It's the woooooooorst, and I hate it. Seivarden just noped right out of the bears giving her cola and went inside to be mad about it and text Tisarwat, while Margo just had difficulty keeping them from prowling around Pick Your Poison; Eliot came in to complain about how they're not the bears he would rather have all over the island.

*whispered* What other kind of bears do they mean, Ast? Koala bears? Panda bears? Grizzlies?

Astrid: .....no. *whispers* I'll tell you later. Also, koalas aren't actually bears, they're marsupials.

Troy: Wait, WHAT?

Astrid: Moving on--

Troy: No, no, no, you can't tell me koalas aren't bears, and then just move on!

Astrid: I'll explain later! We still have a lot of notes to go through.

Troy:....I hate you, December. I hate you so much. First last Christmas, and now koalas aren't really bears....Worst. Month. Ever.

Astrid: ...moving, on, at Luke's Diner, Duke and Octavia discussed the merits of what makes actual crab salad...

Troy: Is it actual crab? Because if koala bears aren't actually bears....

Astrid: ...I...have regrets now. Anyway, over at the Forge, Dwight brought his new puppy around to meet Amaya, and Margo came in looking for weapons. Probably something with spikes. Troy had a perfectly normal day at Groovy Tunes--

Troy: Miraculously.

Astrid: --and this note from the Photo Hut is absolutely slathered in glitter right now, so I can only assume that means Prompto and Liz were being cute about something, and Miguel popped over to the Fix & Clean to usurp Dwight's coffee and meet his new dog Snoopy.

There may be hope for Ignis' Playing With Fire Cooking Class at the community center, because they all appeared to have succesfully made things with Coke, while Lazlo had slightly less success at Caritas with his Regular Human Beer special.

Troy: And Eric appreicated Gladio's dedication to This is Going to Be Real Fun Come February Night at the Devil's Nest, and also said he had better things to do than go to parties because he's really old, so I guess that means, what? Milk of magnesia and catching Dateline?

Astrid: I guess we'll all have to tune in to tomorrow's broadcast to hopefully find out. That does conclude this broadcast, though, so, with that, we'll leave you all to it, have a wonderful Friday, hopefully the little puffballs we saw this morning don't turn into anything worrisome by the end of the day. This has been Astrid, the Normal Human--

Troy: Who really missed an opportunity with that Regular Human Beer special!

Astrid:....wow, I really did, didn't I?

Troy: Waiting on that Disco Spider Beer special now, Lazlo!

Astrid: See you next week, guys.

Troy: YOU SUCK, DECEMB--

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! So, what do you guys think? Don't forget to call or write in your thoughts on who won that rousing debate on stuffing versus dressing, link in the description below. We can't wait to hear your thoughts. As for me? Personally? I'm more of a dressing guy.

Astrid: And I prefer stuffing.

Troy: Yeah, I bet you do!

*rim shot*

...thanks for that.

Astrid: You're welcome. But now, it's finally that time. The moment you've all been waiting for. That's right. It's time for ~the News~, beginning, as always, with ~the School~.

Troy: In ~the School~, Hyrule class talked about something called the Rumor Mill, Bardic Inspiration talked about the importance of knowing your audience, and World Mythology went down under, yeee hawww to cover various Austrialian myths!

Astrid: Was that...was that supposed to be an Australian acc--never mind.

Troy: I nailed it, right? Plus, over in the library, Belle offered to help Socks with some research about his family--I assume just because that's, you know, her job there--until a book just covered them both in glitter, because that's just Fandom, y'all!!

Astrid: No news for ~the Dorms~ this morning, but, over in ~the Town~, Faye stopped by to see Stark, where they talked about booby traps and gifts.

Troy: And...uh-oh, everyone! Better put away those glitter flags after all, because it looks like Prompto went into the Photo Hut and made Liz cry! How, you may ask? Why, you may wonder? Who knows, because the rest of this note is still inexplicably covered in so much glitter that I can't even read any of it!

Thenn over at the Perk, Gladio and Goose, which sounds like a kid's cartoon or something, were getting caffeinated and getting to know each other, and at Chilly Boulder, Will and Dwight did kind of the same, only it was ice cream and getting to know each other and with a less catchy name. Alara stopped in for ice cream, too, and talked with Dwight about the weekend.

Billy was cleaning up shop over at SURF'S UP!...yes, it needs to be said like that...and I was unpacking xylophones at Groovy Tunes.

Astrid: Ignis continued to tempt fate in Let's Burn Down the Community Center! Class by having his students commit war crimes against pizza, and there's a new bartender at Caritas named Lazlo. John got to meet him when he stopped in for a drink and they talked about...well, you know how it goes with new people. Fandom stuff, particularly handsome magic men, witches, a lack of werewolves, and the whole 'a bunch of people turned into children last weekend' thing.

Troy: Fandom gotta Fandom! And of course, Why Even Bother With the Clothes at All night continues at the Devil's Nest, where it says here that Gladio and Seivarden flirted about gloves? But that can't be right, that's...not a thing? Is it?

Astrid: I don't know. Maybe you should ask your boss.

Troy: .... I am not doing that. I am, however, getting to this last bit of late-night news that Leroy is apparently really excited about, so you can just calm down already, Leroy, GOD, but apparently Summer's back from space, y'all! And even though she got back in the middle of the night, everyone was up enough to take notice. Probably because she had to break into her apartment, apparently. Good new neighbor Billy didn't call the cops on her, at least, and for his trouble, she offered to take him to Cancun? Then Annie showed up and they were all like 'Ohmygod you!' and also 'Ohmygod, you!' and then "like double-you-tee-fee the locks?" and then "oh em gee I know but, like, party?" and then all "oh em gee yaaaaaassss PARTY!" and, you know, usually, the squirrels don't bother with direct transcripts of conversations like that, but I think they nailed it with that one.

Astrid: Rey continued the party vibes by coming over with a bottle of wine and hugs and a little catch-up, and Jon just showed up to apologize for changing the locks while she was gone, but apparently, MHA has a real bad lock-picking problem overall. And also Goose showed up because he can't sleep and Summer suggested that maybe he should go to bed, then. Which sounds reasonable, especially since it was the middle of the night.

Troy: And with that, we have read through all the notes, it's been a wild journey this time around, hasn't it? And there's even more in store for you next week, so don't forget to tune in then! This has been the Disco Spider...

Astrid: ...and the normal human....

Troy: Good night, everybody!

Astrid: Morning. Good morning.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Let's give one more thank you to our last guest, a turkey, making his appeal on why you should go vegetarian this Thanksgiving...I have to admit, Astrid, those were some very interesting points he made!

Astrid: That's right, Troy. I'm sure the animal activists are going to just gobble that right up.

Both: *sensible newscaster chuckles*

Troy: But enough about what may or may not potentially go into our mouths; let's focus on what comes out of it, namely, what you're all here for this fifth of November, ~the News~.

Astrid: Starting, of course, as always, with ~the School~. We learned about the Goron people in Hyrule class, Bardic Inspiration went camping, and World Mythology dipped its toes into some warmer climates with a visit to Hawaiian myths and a discussion about translations and adaptations.

The library may be looking for aides at the moment, but Jon was looking for books about portals, nonfiction, which John then helped him narrow down to types of portals and possibly a dip into Special Collections.

Troy: So Jon helped John, but I feel like there could be another level of John here to make it even more funny.

Astrid: Johns all the way down.

Troy: In breaking news, we do have a note for ~the Dorms~ this week, but it's just Jo watching TV in the third floor common room, which is still more than most weeks, but, I think we can still do better, people!

Most of our notes, as usual, are of course coming to you from ~the Town~. It was another busy day over at the Perk, where Irene was indulging herself in the, quote, 'one with the crumbly topping' and chatting with Dwight about back-up plans for the upcoming holidays, something about giving wine to street children? Is that a thing? Man, Christmas is weird, y'all, I don't even...

Astrid: Irene and Jon talked about tea and bad dreams and dangerous things in Jon's world, while Jon and Gladio talked about the much lighter topic of Guy Fawkes Day.

Troy: Guy What's Day?!?

Astrid: Fawkes, Troy. Guy Fawkes. Believe me, if it was what I assume you thought I said, there would have been much more beep-ing.

Troy: I don't know, man, a Guy [BEEEEEEEP]s day sounds pretty interesting, sign me up.

Astrid: *the tiniest of resigned sighs* Anyway, Gladio and Irene also talked about Guy Fawkes Day and how it's celebrated, which is not what you think, Troy, don't get too excited, and Goose and Irene exchanged pleasantries and names.

Troy: Liz was switching up the decor over at the Photo Hut, I was definitely not thinking about how unsettling it is that the headphone wires monster has now suddenly disappeared from Groovy Tunes right after I'd turned into it for Halloween, and Margo learned some interesting new things about bees over at Pick Your Poison. Hannibal brought her a fancy lunch, which probably...hopefully!...means it involved far less bees. And then my lovely cohost here found herself wandering into the Nerd Shoppe to talk to a lady about a painting job, Miguel brought that lady some 3D gaming stuff...wait, is that a thing? Maybe I need to check out this nerd shop after all...and Din and his kid wandered in just because the place was new. Which, I mean...fair.

Cooking for Grown-Ass Adults still managed to mess up sushi, and Liz and Prompto had a daaaa~aaate at some place called Cafe Fina, which I don't think I've ever even heard of? So it must be a made-up place that doesn't really exist, but apparently, it's something the squirrels decided to absolutely drench in glitter right now, although it feels a little weird for me to be saying that? For some reason?

Astrid: Probably reasons best not thought about too hard.

Troy: I try not to think about anything too hard, honestly.

Astrid: And that...is probably one of the smartest things you've ever said, Troy.

Troy: Awww, thanks, Astrid!

Astrid: And, on that warm little kernel of comaraderie, we've reached the end of our notes, so we'll call it a wrap on this week's broadcast. Until next time, Fandom, this has been Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: ....aaaaaaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: Have a great day.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ....and we're back. Literally back! Actually back, right here in the squirrel studio that smells a lot like my uncle's basement, after our last broadcast from beautiful Boston, baby!

Astrid: That's right, Troy. It's been nearly a full week since the school break, meaning hopefully everyone's gotten back into their routine and into classes again, and also...to listening to what is surely your favorite part of every morning...

Both: ~the Radio~.

Astrid: Starting out, as always, with ~the School~, Hyrule class got to learn all about the Gerudo, and both Bardic Inspiration and World Mythology got to enjoy a movies, the first one about music and the second about fairy tales.

Troy: ~The Dorms~ were quiet...get on that, people!....but people were going about and interacting a bit around ~the Town~, which includes Stark being very glad that Faye is back to being a very long-legged human instead a long-legged bird, which she turned into during the Boston trip, so they had an overdue recap of how they liked it...up until the whole turning-into-a-bird thing.

Astrid: Margo was going through the inventory at Pick Your Poison but took a break to chat with Irene about parties present, parties future, and fashion, Alara enjoyed a little time down at the beach, and Groovy Tunes is, I am happy to report, free of any spooky, scary skeletons.

...For now.

Troy: Dooooooon't!

Astrid: You know, there's a spooky, scary skeleton in all of u--

Troy: Stoooop! Noooo. Bones on your inside are different!

We're moving on!

*clears throat*

The Perk was pretty hopping yesterday morning, where Annie was able to get a cup of whipped cream even though she wasn't a dog anymore. She then clocked Buck as a new person, which meant introducing herself and talking to him about the island and where they're from and superpowers and parties. And Eliot clocked Buck as being like an adorable puppy, not the first time Buck has heard that, and probably not the last, because that just makes me feel like we're going to be reading a note here eventually about Buck being an actual puppy.

Astrid: He might turn into a deer. That could be pretty funny.

Troy: ...it woooould! I guess we'll have to wait and see! Anyway, Buck and Eliot did the whole getting-to-know-the-new-person thing, which Annie also did with Billy, because either she's been spending too much time in New York or as a dog, apparently. Anyway, Billy filled Annie in on his boat issues, and then talked to Gladio about how he's an alien. Gladio, not Billy, although, I don't know, I guess maybe he could be?

Eliot just wants to know if he missed mullets coming back in style.

Astrid: That implies they ever were in style...

Troy: Truth. Anyway, Gladio and Annie talked about Halloween and how to dress up for that party tonight, and Gladio and Eliot caught up and also talked about the party, because it's a small town, that's kind of all you got. Turning into animals and parties. And I guess how your day is going, that's what Annie and Jo covered with each other.

Astrid: And magic! Eliot and Annie talked about that, and what makes having magic different form having superpowers, and what they could do with each, respectively. Dr. Lecter introduced himself to Eliot and discussed the party and descriptive sobriquets...

Troy: ....that's not a real word. You made that up.

Astrid: All words are technically made up, Troy.

Troy: ....

....

....whoooooooaaaa, that's wrinkling my brain!

Astrid: And while Troy's brain is wrinkling, I'll close out the notes about the Perk with Annie and Dr. Lecter chatting a little about all the new faces, which includes, as mentioned, Billy, to whom Dr. Lecter also introduced himself.

Troy: Liz was busy with pictures and emails at the Photo Hut, while the squirrels would like to emphasize that Duke was definitely feeling fulfilled at the diner, which apparenty, much to Lucifer's surprise, involves turnips, and Billy was there to talk about a boat.

The Android's Dungeon is getting a facelift and reinvention as Magpie's Emporium for all you neeerds out there, Ignis's Cooking Class for Grown Ups went over hiking snacks, and Leather Pants Thursdays are back at the Devil's Nest....or did it never really leave in the first place?

Astrid: It's always Leather Pants Thursday in our hearts.

Troy: Gross! Either way, Liz had leather on, so she got half off her drinks and a chance to get to meet the man behind the leather himself while she was there.

And, with that, we've reached our final note, which means that concludes ~the News~ for this morning! We hope you enjoyed another thrilling, engaging episode of ~Troy and Astrid in the morning~ and we'll see you next time!

Astrid: Maybe with more skeletons.

Troy: Noo--

*CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Let's give another round of applause for that great performance from Squirrel Tap, the Spinal Tap cover band that the squirrels felt needed to exist for...no apparent reason, and let's get on to the moment you've all been waiting for. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for...~the News~. Take it away, Astrid!

Astrid: Thanks, Troy. In ~the News~ for yesterday, we, of course, had our usual round of classes over at ~the School~, where we learned about a variety of different topics, from the Sheikah tribe in Hyrule class, to entertaining dogs in Bardic Inspiration, to missing sun gods in World Mythology

because if there's one you're guaranteed out of an education here at Fandom High, it's certainly versatility.

Troy: And how! Moving along, ~the Dorms~ were quiet once again this Thursday, but ~the Town~ was a-buzz with activity, and, no, I don't mean it was covered in bees!

Both: *sensible, hearty chuckles*

Troy: No, what I mean is things like Irene getting some work done on her laptop down at the Perk, which almost reminded Margo of being back in New York. She and Irene discussed the book Margo was going to read if she hadn't decided to talk to Irene instead. Gladio was also going to read a book but decided to talk to Irene instead, because talking to other people will always be better than reading.

Astrid: Debatable.

Troy: Maybe if you're a nerd, which I am not, despite what last weekend might have suggested, or maybe if you're Malia. Anyway, Jo wasn't there to talk to not-read, she was there to write a letter, but she ended up talking to Irene, too, mostly about them both being from England and other people from England. Which does not include Hannibal, I don't think? Although he is fancy, and proved it by talking to Irene about ~fashion~ and sexy corn, but then there was Jon, who is another person from England, and he talked to Irene about school and business, because, as you can see, it was Everybody Talk to Irene day at the Perk.

Astrid: Good for her. Nobody talked to Troy over at Groovy Tunes--

Troy: That is true, although I will say, the music that day? Was speaking to me!

Astrid:--and Prompto was excited to see Liz bringing some new life into the Photo Hut so they could geek out about photography together. A body also washed up on the shores near Serenity Cove, which actually does feel like a legitimate news piece, but we're reassured that the body was not, in fact, a dead one. I would say that there is proof of this since that body, a man named Billy, started asking important questions like 'where am I?', which lead Goose to answer that million dollar question with 'Fandom Island,' which, naturally, only lead to even more questions, mostly about the weird time stuff and why he's not all old and grey if it's actually 2021. As a seventeen year old born in 1977, I feel that one.

Troy: She looks great for her age!

Astrid: Thanks, Troy. Anyway, Miguel came along to helpfully inform Billy that boats usually go in the water and tried to explain how he's somehow off the coast of Baltimore now and not the coast of Mexico, and also being in the future, which, for Miguel, is the past.

Troy: It's real fun, Billy, this whole time and place displacement stuff, you're really gonna love it.

Astrid: Ignis's Cooking Class for Adults went for a Boston theme, even if Goose seemed to be more inspired by the Chicago fire. Dwight also chatted with Ignis after class about the upcoming trip.

Troy: And good news if you're a tiny person who plays piano! Because, boy, does the Devil's Nest have a piano for you, in the continuing saga of two grown-ass dudes who could probably use some more productive hobbies. Like yoga! Or macrame! But, either way, Devil's Nest, tiny piano, not gonna lie, but now I almost kinda want to see that really big shark dude try to play it? Like, that would be legit hilarious, right?

Astrid: It would.

Troy: Right, so get on that, really big shark dude. Hey, you think he owns any leather pants?

Astrid: ....and on that note, we've run out of notes, so I'm going to go ahead and say that's it for us today, because I don't think we can end on a better note than that. So, thanks, everyone, for listening. This has been Astrid Magnussen, your normal human...

Troy: ....aaaaand the disco spider!

Astrid: ....for Fandom Radio. Good night. Or, well, good morning, actually. See you next week.

Troy: But in Boston!

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Let's give one more warm round of applause for our guest in the last segment, Leroy's mom. I must say, it's nice to finally meet the woman behind the squirrel! But now, it's time for the moment you've all bee waiting for, it's finally here, that's right, it's....~the News~! Starting, as always, with ~the School~. Astrid?

Astrid: Thanks, Troy. In ~the School~ yesterday, we learned about different Hylian monsters and how to fight them in the Hyrule class, we enjoyed a movie musical in Bardic Inspiration, and in World Mythology, we discussed trickster gods, being a god of stories, and Anansi in particular.

No notes for ~the Dorms, but in ~the Town~, Eliot decided to enjoy some quiet time on the beach...quiet until Sidon showed up, because...well...Sidon. Anyway, they exchanged Monsterous Beast stories. Irene bummed a smoke off of him and discussed that she's Hot and British and other such nicknames and titles like High Kings and Queens and what have you, as well as a multitude of Fandom's other particular quirks. Troy was having a jazzy day at Groovy Tunes--

Troy: --which absolutely did not involve any dancing!

Astrid: Yes, that's definitely what it says here. No dancing, none at all. Dwight had an eventful day at the fix-it shop, where Amaya came in to drop off a big sack of metal, and Irene stopped in to discuss some fix-it stuff needed around her shop and to chat with him about their similiar time displacements and magic and Fandom being...well...Fandom.

Troy: Over at Pick Your Poison, Margo was sorting through candles and Eliot apparently got some fear entity all up in his brain and Margo is Not. Happy. about it. Stark was at the Perk, which is in all its full fall glory now, and Jo was there to study, like a neeerd, Jon and Stark exchanged coffee shop pleasantries, and Din and Grogu came in, too, which gave Stark a chance to thank Din for helping him out last week...like, a lot.

Astrid: Cooking Class for Grown-Up had a lot of trouble with eggs, and remodeling continued on strong at the Devil's Nest, where Gladio was just glad they still had more Cup Noodle^TM soda leftover from last week. Annie and Rey were also having a Girls' Night that involved nail polish and face masks, and naturally lead into a discussion about space....rural space!....and Parents' Weekend.

Troy: Oh, that's right! That is this weekend! You have anyone coming?

Astrid: Mmmm, no. Not exactly. Kind of the opposite, really....You?

Troy: Nah. Thankfully. I don't think this place could handle a visit from Nana Barnes.

Astrid: This place has handled a lot, Troy.

Troy: Yeah, but never Nana Barnes.

Astrid: We'll have to take your word for it, I guess. And with that, we're finished with the notes. Hopefully, everyone's able to avoid too much drama and-or embarrassment this weekend, we'll see you next week.

Troy: PEACE!!

**CLICK!!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...aaand we're back. Let's give another thank you to our last guest, a....wet mop, and remind ourselves that we have got to find a new guest manager for this show.

Astrid: But, for now, it's the part of the program you've all been waiting for, which means it's finally time for...

Both: ~the News~.

Troy: Nice.

Astrid: Starting, of course, with ~the School~, on the day where I'm actually in all the classes, so I can verify that this all really happened.A Traveler's Guide to Hyrule has us learning about the geography of Hyrule with maps, in Bardic Inspiration, we encountered bandits with nary but a lute and a song in our hearts to defend ourselves with, while in World Mythology, we discussed Tiamat, dragons, and creation myths.

Gladio also took advantage of the quietness of his office to catch up on some reading.

Troy: No news this week for ~the Dorms~, but over in ~the Town, Dwight put up a new sign to advertises the services offered at his fix it shop, I checked on our stock of violin bows and microphone stands at Groovy Tunes, which was entirely unrelated to Christmas decorations, thank you very much, and Eliot was at the Perk with a book. There, he also introduced himself to Jon when he came in for tea, and then Jon felt bad for making Eliot tell him about hentai.

No comment.

Astrid: Over at Luke's, Duke continuned to boggle at his staff in between chatting with Octavia about the new books she picked up--

Troy: Lots of books and reading in this radio today!

Astrid: I think that's a good thing. But, Troy, you'll be please to know there was no mention of books or reading that the squirrels caught with Duke also catching up with Dwight about some of the Fandom Weirdness Duke missed out on while he was away, you know, like dead people coming to visit and being stuck in holes.

Troy: Typical Fandom.

Astrid: Margo was scoping out real estate while working at Pick your Poison, where Irene stopped in to see that the place was actually a bath shop, though the name was a little less confusing when you consider all the poisonous plants the previous owner apparently kept, and then they talked about their booze-induced hallucinations from last week.

Annie recieved a worrisome and upsetting phone call, so I hope everything's okay, and, at the Devil's Nest, usually our final note of the broadcast, which seemed to be introducing a pop-up menu for the evening, although Eric seemed a little dubious about Ignis being inspired by the offerings.

I'm assuming this was after his cooking class that the community center where they talked about making sauces.

Troy: And with that, I say we make like a sauce ourselves, and....run.

Astrid: Kind of realized you didn't have one for that a little too late, there, didn't you?

Troy: It works! Sauces can run! Sauces can be runny!

Astrid: That's technically correct.

Troy: Which is the best kind of correct.

Astrid: And on that note, we're out of notes, so we'll call that the end of the news for today. This has been Astrid, the normal human.

Troy: And the Disco Spider!

Astrid: For Fandom Radio....have a great Friday, everyone.

Troy: Peace!

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back, on that exciting Friday on the eve of a new semester! Which means we, ironically, have no notes for ~the School~, but we do actually have notes for ~the Dorms~! But first, let's give a special thanks and another shout-out to our last guest, a, uhhhh....wombat? Who taught us, um...

Astrid: How to make kettle corn.

Troy: Yes! Kettle corn! That's a fun time snack! And, speaking of a fun time, Belle was in the third floor common room with some cookies, and she definitely noticed that I was gone this week and we talked about upcoming classes. Adora was getting ready to finally head out and head home, and my lovely cohost here got some mail and started on a new art project in her room. Ooooh, what's it gonna be, Ast?

Astrid: I...actually haven't decided yet. But...anyway, moving on to ~the Town~, Duke was back to work at Luke's, to mixed reactions from the rest of the staff, and Lucifer dropped in to see that Duke survived being back so they could flirt over fancy soda and how running a diner is apparently like riding a bike, which I now know how to do thanks to Miss January, so I guess now I'm qualified to run a diner.

Troy: You are good at breakfasts!

Astrid: You never even came to any of my breakfasts.

Troy:....

....and in other news!, Tisarwat doubted the reality of otamotones at Groovy Tunes, and then...erm, and then that's it, that's the last note!

Astrid: Until next time, anyway. Thanks for listening, everyone. This has been Astrid, the Normal Human...

Troy: ...aaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: And we'll catch you next week, maybe even with a few more names to be weirded out by hearing what tiny little pencil-weilding rodents have to say about them.

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Let's take a moment to appreciate that rousing performance of pennies rattling around in a plastic cup provided by Leroy in our last segement, and then we'll move right on into the moment you've all been waiting for...~The News~!

Astrid: And how very news-y it is, Troy! Perhaps not news-y enough to include a note from ~the Dorms~ this week, but we do have our usual line-up of summer classes for ~the School~ to report on, and believe me when I say this, but they were very much classes.

Troy: Poetry is definitely a class, a class I should probably pay more attention in, but we did a poem about the sea? I think? And How to Ride a Bike was more like 'How to Ride a Bike in Style!' this week, as they decorated their bikes, and I'm sure that was right up your alley, huh, Ast...rid. Your name does not abbreviate well.

Astrid: No it does not. But, yes, actually, I really, really did. This week, Try Not To Die tried not to die--

Troy: --of fun!

Astrid: --in LegoLand, where they had to either find a brick or climb a lighthouse, avoid getting wet, and then find their substitute teacher and his kids at the mini-boats.

Troy: Man, that place is so cool...*wistful sigh*

Astrid: Weapons learned all about the art of archery, and Bardic Inspiration went over the fine art of seduction.

Troy: Nice! Over in ~the Town~, Stark got to enjoy a nice treat at the Perk, as well as a nice visit from Rey and told her about how he was looking up recipes for cupcakes and other plans for ~someone's~ birthday. Like, I still don't really know how birthdays work for most people, but I know enough sometimes that kind of thing is supposed to be a surprise, so I won't say who, but I will say that this note is covered in glitter, so that should give you an idea.

*sound of a paper shaking*

So...so much glitter.

Astrid: Tisarwat had a lot of paperwork to go through over at Groovy Tunes, and Summer and Seivarden got together to watch a movie that the squirrels seem to think was about gloves last night, and Ignis and Prompto had a date over at the bowling alley.

Troy: Oooh! Astrid! We should go bowling later!

Astrid: I...think I've kind of filled up my bowling quota for a while. It was one of the few things to do while we were down in that hole...

Troy: ....okay, fair point. Pizza? We could go get pizza?

Astrid: We could go get pizza.

Troy: Nice. It's a date.

Astrid: It's not a--never mind. We've finished with the notes, so I guess it's time for us to say our goodbyes until next time. This has been Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: Aaaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: For Fandom Radio. We'll see you next week.

Troy: PEACE!

**CLICK!!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy:...and we're back! And not woken up at a stupid hour for a fire drill in the middle of the night!

( This is NOT a Drill! This is just a recap OF a Drill! )

Astrid: And, hopefully now you're all well rested so we can have a nice Friday and a good weekend. We'll see you next week, except, you know, not, because radio, and have a good day.

Troy: I'm going back to sleep. I'm still tired...

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...aaaand we're back. Special thanks to our last guest, a hole that you can fall into, because, apparently, that's a thing now! PSA, everyone: don't fall into holes.

Astrid: Speaking of holes, let's get into reading this whole lot of notes we have for yesterday, except not really, because it was pretty quiet yesterday, especially since there's nothing for ~the School~ because it's a break week, and nothing for ~the Dorms~, which were quiet as usual.

Troy: Which brings us to ~the Town~, which mostly includes Lucifer and Octavia on her boat, talking about why he shouldn't have shot himself, and Faye definitely not sulking at Chilly Boulder. Dwight showed up, too, and talked with her about whether you should put honey in your hair and the Fourth of July, and then Din was there to compare ice cream flavors with her and talk about how Anakin is weird and cheats at stuff.

And that? Is pretty much it! So I guess this has been Troy, the Disco Spider...

Astrid: ...and Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: ...for ~the Radio~, and not falling into holes, signing off, 'til next week.

**CLICK!!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! I hope you all enjoyed that last segment, 'Is it chocolate, or is it meat?' as much as I did, but now it's time to move onto the part of the broadcast you've all been waiting for, and that is...

Both: ~The News~.

Astrid: That's right, Troy. It is time for the news, and we'll be starting this morning, as always, with news of ~the School~. Phys Ed had a little trouble trying to get actual water in the pool for swimming, but eventually kind of got it? Photography, meanwhile, got to work on the use of lighting in their pictures.

Troy: Aaaaand in Try Not To Die, we went to Wales, where there were way less whales than you'd expect and someone really ought to talk to them about false advertising, but, anyway, there was poetry, clay pigeons and boot throwing, and then pronouncing Llanfairpwllgwyngyll correctly, and guess who managed to not die the best this week?

That's right. It was me. So take that, Whales!

Astrid: Fandom Gladiators did something called a Sky Track, which was won by the Beast, and, finally, in Something Something Adventuring, everyone got to fight a giant wheel of brie. Classic.

There appear to be no notes for ~the Dorms~ this morning, so let's move onto ~the Town~.

Troy: Existentialism was on the menu at Luke's yesterday, and also fish taco salad, which was possibly the highlight of Steve's week, and I don't know if that says more about Steve or his week. Anyway, he got to catch up with Duke a bit and tell him about drug cartels and fighting Nazis! Summer and Nina met up at Chilly Boulder to talk about some fight they had about Summer's party, and Tisarwat caught up on all the work I didn't do on Tuesday over at Groovy Tunes.

...what? She's the boss. She should be doing more of the work, then, right? Anyway, Annie and Diego were settling into domestic bliss now that they're all moved in together, and I'm pretty sure you can guess where that wound up heading...and no, I'm not talking about IKEA catalogues! And Tony and the other Steve had a pizza, a cicada-hungry dog, and promises of a sexy singlet at their apartment.

Astrid: Eric was remodeling the remodels at the Devil's Nest, while in leather pants, as is tradition now, and he explained to Faye and Stark, who were definitely there on a date if the amount of glitter than just exploded over the equipment is any indication, how the water feature was blocking the axe range, which just lead to a discussion about which was better, pianos or axes, and things that can be thrown. I would say probably not pianos in that case, but, also, I go to school here. Either way, Eric was pleased that Faye was on Team Axe and they extolled the virtues and entertainment value of said axes.

And with that, we've reached our final note, and thus concludes our broadcast for the day. Thanks for listening, everyone. This has been Astrid the Normal Human...

Troy: ...aaaaand the Disco Spider!

Astrid: For all the news that a bunch of bushy tailed drunken rodents are uncomfortably invested in. Have a great day. We'll see you next week.

Troy: Except...not. Because...radio.

**CLICK!***

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Thanks again to our last guest, an actual spider, who, in a shocking turn of events, did not know anything about disco, and now it's time to get to the part of your morning broadcast that you've all been waiting for, that's right, it's time for none other than....~the News~. Isn't that right, Astrid?

Astrid: That's right, Troy. And what a bunch of ~news~ they are, starting, of course, as always, with ~the School~.

Troy: Phys Ed had magical armbands to help them jump higher...I want one! And Fandom Gladiators got to roll around in metal cages. I want one of those, too!

Photography learned all about the rule of thirds, and in Try Not To Die, we went to Singapore, where we had to do a tightrope walk, learn about cups or crabs, and then bring an empty coconut to the Skywalkers; Jules didn't die the best and for the record, I definitely did not try not to die the worst, no matter what anyone else will tell you.

Astrid: Twice the Adventuring for Twice the Fun talked about getting paid, and Academic Alcoholism drank something that was blue before putting on the red light. Or, I guess, not putting on the red light? I don't know. I was just trying to be clever.

Troy: I thought it was good! And that's a good song. ~Roxanne, Roxaaaaane, all she wanna do is party all night~

Astrid: That's....not...the right song....I don't even know--nevermind. Let's just move onto ~the Dorms~, or, rather, the lack thereof...not of the dorms, but of dorm notes, just to be clear, and move onto ~the Town~.

Clare got to reading a book at Covent Garden, even if the flowers seemed a bit loud--they get like that sometimes--and Dwight set out for the park to do some fishing at the pond, which sort of took Faye by surprise, but then they got around to introductions and talking about all of the island's...and their own...particular eccentricities, and did about the same with Liam when he came around, with a bit more emphasis on invasions and how at least it's been pretty quiet for Dwight so far.

All in good time, really. All in good time.

Troy: Shhhh! Talking about it usually makes it worse!

Astrid: No, it doesn't. That's just confirmation bias at work. Anyway, Dr. Lecter had to deal with an excessive amount of flamingoes during his counseling sessions, and the Devil's Nest was having a 'drink to forget' special, but I guess everyone just forgot to come in. Steve with the tattoos was having trouble sleeping, so much so that not even British antique shows could help. But Danny was having the same problem, so at least they had each other and the chance to dance around a few topics in the meantime.

Troy: Also, Faye attempted to suprirse Stark with a nice surprise, and I'm pretty sure nice in this note means sexy? But there was screaming and then a shirtless sheriff, and then kissing so...okay, yeah, definitely. Definitely a sexy surprise, there was just a little confusion about things getting to that point...

....nice.

Astrid: And that's not a bad note to leave with, especially since that is the last note. Thanks for listening, everyone, we'll be back again next week. Until then, here's to hoping you have a good week. This has been Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: And the disco spider, for your Fandom Radio broadcast, always in support of sexy surprises and encouraging you to go find your own today, too. Peace out!

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy:...and we're back! Coming up later, a cat, playing a ukelele, but first, let's get into the moment you've all been waiting for. That's right. It's time to read...~the News~. Astrid?

Astrid: Thanks, Troy. ~The News~ today starts, of course, with ~the School~, where Phys Ed learned how to fly, and Photography class learned about nature shots before going to take some in a nature park.

Troy: In Try Not To Die, we had to either pan for gold or dance for some WAY harsh judges before having to ride a bike loaded with stuff, and then try to find a hotel. Jules wound up Not Dying the best, but the biggest takeaway from the whole thing was to never trust a chicken as your navigator, believe me.

Astrid: Fandom Gladiators got to climb a big foam pyramid, which the Spider--not to be confused with the Disco Spider--reached the top of first, and Adventuring Squeared got to flirt with a sexy lady pirate--

Troy: --awww, can we do that for pirate class?

Astrid: --and, finally, Day Drinking for Grown-Ups sampled some Thunderbird and played a few rounds of Most Likely To...

Troy: I would vote you as Most Likely to Look Super Cute in a Radio Broadcasting Booth, Astrid.

Astrid: And I would vote you as Most Likely to Make Out with Someone in the Ball Pit on the Sixth Floor, Troy.

Troy: That is true. I do do that.

Astrid: I'm just surprised you haven't run into the tentacle monster that lives up there yet.

Troy: The what???

Astrid: Moving on to ~The Town~! Clare had her very first day at Covent Garden Flowers and Tisarwat's looking for more help at Groovy Tunes.

Troy: Astrid, you were just joking about the tentacle monster on the sixth floor, right?

Astrid: Looks like that's all the notes we have today, so we'll see you next time, guys. This has been Astrid, the normal human...

Troy: Astrid, come on! Tell me you're just messing me with me!

Astrid: ...signing off.

Troy: Astrid!! Wait!!

**CLICK!**

Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy:...and we're back! Hopefully, you enjoyed that last segnment of squirrels in the Bahamas, because I can only assume they're all on vacation with how few notes we have this week.

Astrid: Or it's just a break week, which are always quiet, because the squirrels don't even take vacations while on vacation.

Troy: No wonder they drink so much rum! But now it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for, the reason we're all here, really, and that is....~The Radio~. What've we got today, Astrid?

Astrid: Well, Troy, as you can assume, due to the break, we have no notes for ~The School~ and ~The Dorms~ were predictably quiet, as you could guess, meaning most of the activity the squirrels deemed to take note of occurred in ~the Town~, which included my cohost here working through a hangover at Groovy Tunes, and Tiny joining in on the leather pants craze at the Devil's Nest. Rey was not making new friends with the new barista at the Perk, but she did manage to catch up with Annie before she headed out again, and Tony and Steve had a date at Il Pollo.

And that's it.

Troy: That's it?

Astrid: That's it.

Troy: Well, then, I guess that concludes your radio for this Friday, then! This has been Troy, the Disco Spider.

Astrid: And Astrid, the normal human.

Troy: Signing off. PEACE!!!

**CLICK!!**