WTFH

Morning, all. This is Jaye here with yesterday's news.

There was another party at the murder house, this time for Cal. I know when I think of ways to torture people, I also think birthdays. That's not me being snarky, that's true. Of course people showed up, Eleanor and Kamala started talking about an exploration club, Arden and Eleanor talked about how great their little group is, Kamala and Arden talked abs, Henry wished Kamala a happy belated birthday and caught up with Arden, and Arden thanked Steven for the use of his Danger Shop for the party. Arden thanked Watts for coming because it feels more neighborly, Lana and Steven caught up. Cal got surprised at his surprise party and Kamala told him she wanted to do this for him, Arden threw BD under the party planning bus, Eleanor, Henry, Liliana and Lana brought Cal presents, Steven told Cal Marc doesn't do birthdays, yes please stop having parties, and Cal absolutely agreed with me and said maybe next year just one big party.

Meanwhile Lydia was home doing a wardrobe refresh and getting texts from Arden, and Nell and Gladio got to break in the hot tub and I'm gonna leave the rest to your imaginations.

That's all for me. Have a halfway decent week.

Morning, all. This is Jaye, and guess what, there was a smattering of news yesterday so I should tell you about it.

Peter and Envy got married. Still don't know who they are, but mazel tov. They got some people attending, like Karla showing up to catch up with Ender's kids, which he and Ben were trying to deal with. Liliana and Ignis talked about what they would want for a wedding, Ender explained some family stuff to Liliana, Ben and Karla caught each other up on family, and Karla caught up with Hannibal in general. Charlie and Arden Facetimed Charlie's family, and Kamala got to tell Arden about having to flirt with Cal. And then of course the happy couple actually got married.

There was also a reception, Karla and Peter were kind of snippy but kind of not? Margo complimented Envy's music, Lucifer showed Octavia the food, Lucifer complimeted Envy's party planning, I don't think Ulysses fully knew he was talking to the groom, Peter complimented Summer's koala while Envy knew right off it was a person. Charlie fangirled at both Envy and Peter, Envy welcomed Karla, who thought Liliana was someone named Morgana. Ah, Fandom. Envy complimeted Liliana's dress, Peter and Liliana networked, Margo was surprised Dean has a suit, while Dean and Peter had friendly yelling, Yukari definitely didn't know she was talking to the groom, Dean gave Yukari her drink back, Dean told Envy he liked the concert, and Karla got to break Dean's brain a little by already knowing his friends.

In other news, New Steve and Danny flirt-watched the Olympics.

That's all for me. Till next week.

Morning, all, and welcome to all the things that were worth reporting on Saturday.

Nell and Gladio were all flirty meeting up for an anniversary walk in the park, Miguel was apparently not here for it at Luke's, while Jane was just trying to keep cool at Caritas. She also introduced Flint to the idea of shops on the island, mixed drinks, and Internet. Dean also got to tell him about drinks in actual glasses, and Rey told him they have someone in common. Bars are educational.

Dean and Jane talked about maybe a little beach vacation, while Rey caught up with both of them. At the Devil's Nest, Thor was trying his hand at mixing drinks, and Gale tried to figure out how Thor already knew him. Plus Thor managed a hookup with Eric.

And that's all for today. Have fun with your complicated feelings about the day!

Morning, all. This is Jaye with Saturday's news, because we as a town are nosy.

Gladio was being a book nerd at the Perk, and Stark turned up to catch up and talk about camping. A thing I will never get. There is no reason to be unwashed in the woods with the bugs and the bears. Watts and Steven had their usual dinner date at the torture house- ooh do we have a Greek place on island now?- they celebrated Geek Pride Day at Luke's, where Yukari came in to celebrate being good at geek stuff. You know what, might as well. And Thor watched Tiny tempt fate with the maraschino cherries at the Devil's Nest, where he and Stewart wondered if the decorations on Monday were why it was busier then. Only one way to find out!

That's it for me. Till next week.

Morning, all. This is Jaye, and we had a picnic yesterday, so let's gossip about unsuspecting new people!

A couple things first: Senshi seems to have gotten here by accident maybe, and Henry and Kamala both got a room at the torture house from Marc. Which are choices. Choices that people have made. Also, Gale apparently made himself a wizard's tower.

Now onto the picnic, so let's start with people meeting their buddies. Raiden got to tell Senshi that the island knew he was coming and he's got a class to teach, which is always a jarring way to end up here. Arden welcomed Stewart which ended up a conversation about how time is a construct and capitalism is killing us, Henry did not seem here for anything Charlie served up, Lana introduced Gale to a lot of things, like the concept of phones and spaceships. And Jane just threw Don way the hell off by being a different version of someone he dated. Welcome to Fandom! Lydia's from the past and Kamala's from the future, but Lydia did her best to answer questions, including about... plumbing? Sorry, plumbing. The squirrels actually wrote that really small.

Onto the rest, where Shenshi cooking got him attention from Ignis, Hannibal, and Rey, Kamala and Arden talked about their classes and also SHIELD, Arden and Charlie talked about being big sisters now, Steven talked to Arden about their new roommates, Stewart met fellow Canadian Charlie, Stark told Steven about making it official with Summer, and Summer and Rey talked about whether they'd met anyone new yet. Steven introduced himself to Henry and invited Dwight back to the house that again, tortured him, and Dwight and Miguel caught up. Also something about accusatory coffee? The squirrels did not elaborate.

Charlie assumed Gale was one of her people, and no, Gale and Liliana had a bunch of magic talk, Tony got a bunch of attention, and Old Steve told him about problems back at home. Old Steve also got some attention. Stark startled Boc into dropping a cookie, while Arden complimented his dresswork and Lydia told him about being a big sister and also about how people's artwork came to life. Which is absolutely a true thing that happened, new kids! Tony checked on how Lucy's settling in, while Jon told her how he's teaching a cat class, Charlie introduced herself to Kamala, while Annie and Prompto threw their kids on a play date, which he told Liz about.

Rosa gave Miguel her opinions on the newbies, including the one she wants to shove in a locker. Maybe it's you! Raiden was also getting staring- Kamala, the squirrels see everything- Lucy was impressed with Raiden's plate-handling, and taking a picture of Clint meant Kamala had to actually meet one of the people she's fangirling. Steven told Cal about new neighbors, Clint and Kitty talked new people, Arden got love from Cal's droid and made a paintball bet, Lucy met Cal's droid, and Cal asked Lana if food was going to be a big thing in her travel class, and that class was also what she told Sabine about. Remember how Don had that whole weird thing with Jane? He also had it with Old Steve, minus the dating, I think. Lucy and Old Steve talked cookies, Ben and Ender tried wrangling their kids, though Lana had to question whether one was actually named Bantha. Which is fair!

Aaaand that's it, so I'm off. Later!

Morning, all. This is Jaye, here on a very boring and normal Sunday with Saturday's news, which was all the opposite of that.

Jesse called the creatives down to town hall, so the people did the gathering thing. Dean gave Steven "if I don't come back" instructions, while Steven and Lana talked about writing. And then they got down to it, with Anakin, Steven and Beaker talking about what to weaponize, so they're all responsible for the chicken kickline later, and Anakin and Lana tried to figure out how to give people that extra bit of strength when they need it. Meanwhile Watts was hanging out at home and having Steven bring home dinner. Is this guy actually the sheriff or did everyone just figure no one would lie about that and so no one ever questioned it?

And then the fighty people went to fight a bunch of monsters on a playground, nice and normal. Dean, Navaan, Atton, Rey- oh, and there's the chicken kickline- and New Steve all defeated a bunch of horrors and now thanks to everyone we can all have a Sunday where nothing attacks us.

*chittering*

...What do you mean a big giant monster's coming down the causeway. I'm not supposed to be out when big giant monsters come down the causeway!

*chittery laughter*

I hate you so much. No emergency, folks! Ignore the impending squirrel murder!

Morning, all. This is Jaye and I've got a little stack of notes here for you, so why don't I go ahead and read them?

Stark was at the Perk trying to do some trip-planning, only for Yukari to invite herself along. Gotta admire the hustle, I guess. Jane had to deal with a pickle theme at Caritas, what is wrong with you Tino, Dean and Sabine caught up and he was not educated on the existence of a weapons shop before now, he told Jane about his non-Fandom work and they figured out a second date, and Jane told Sabine about the weird stuff back home, but the public shirtlessness talk was probably more fun. Oh, I remember those days.

*silence*

*chittering*

I'm still here. For a second, because that's all I've got. Till next week.

Morning, all. This is Jaye, here with all the news from Saturday. Which was mostly a bunch of people talking to each other.

In the dorms- hey, people still live in the dorms- Graham got news that he's going to be in a tournament, so over text he told Arden to meet him for ice cream so he could tell her in person. Which also puts us into town news, I guess. Charlie showed up, Belle also congratulated him and got invited to watch, and Arden also had news that she won an argument with a flamingo. I mean, I've never won an argument with a flamingo. And I've tried.

At the creepy mansion, Liliana was restless, which I think got fixed by telling Ignis stuff about home that I don't understand. Miguel was not caring about other people's pet pics at Luke's, where Dean came in for a burger and to get some introductions in. Is this like, Dean Dean? Just curious. Watts met him and asked how he was settling in in the torture house, and Watts checked in and told Miguel about going to Toronto. Also Watts went to the Perk.

And Caritas was pretty busy, with Jane dealing with Tino specials, and she got to desperately try to keep Beaker from drinking Malort cocktails, oh god, and Dean got to talk to Jane about their very complicated complications in life. Dean got to experience Beaker and GAVE HIM MORE MALORT, WHY, while Old Steve ditched the Malort idea and told Jane about the possibility of a party happening. Dean and Old Steve got to bond over beer, Jane and Sabine got to bond over astrophysics, Dean got to catch Sabine up on his first day, but she also got to get hit on by a Malort-drunk Beaker and be real awkward with Ahsoka. And Dean got to meet an alien, but he was respectful about it.

And that's all the news. Till next week.

It's a fantastic morning here, the birds are chirping, the smell of evergreens is in the air, and I've got so much to tell you!

First we have Steve Rogers at his quaint B&B, getting a new Big City customer in Tony, who might just need a lesson in love. Eric was hard at work at Smorgasbord, making a delicious meal, at least until he had to shoo Charlie out for busking, and then he got a visit from Sam, who had some terrible ideas about buying and changing his business. Like Smorgasbord isn't an institution! Captain McGarrett was taking his shore leave at the Perk, where Belle told him of her lost love who may have been in a shipwreck, Cupid in Training Arden decided to help him find true love and sent him Danny, and Charlie played music.

Navaan was hard at work at Heartfelt Memories, where she told Jon about her new love that she's going to fix, and she and Arthur fell in love and talked about their future. And Arden was deep in thought in the park, where she and Charlie worried about a Big Corporation ruining our town.

Obviously we'll have to have a town fundraiser. Stay strong, everyone! I'm off to care for my ailing mother!

Morning, all. This is Jaye on not her day, reading not really her notes. Let's get into it.

Oh right, we have classes. So You Want to Be a Decective got both praise and got to solve a pie mystery, while Feeding Yourself covered the very important breakfast. Beaker class went over taxes and Miguel and Amaya made bets on Beaker freeing himself from a ceiling prison, and Jo had missing shelves making her library job harder.

Then in town, Graham tried to bring snowplay indoors at the Magpie Emporium, and Prompto was getting Liz texts while dealing with something called Brew a Potion day? That sounds terrible, who allowed that. Eddie and his crew were getting no work done at Fast Eddie's, Steven brought a pun for lunch at the trooper station with Watts, Travis had a staring contest with a goose at the fire station, and Navaan got either drunk with or at the clinic crab.

These were all totally normal notes, see you tomorrow.

Morning, all. This is Jaye here with a little stack of notes and a big thing of coffee and I'm sure those two things will even out somehow.

At Stark Tower, Old Steve and Tony casually dealt with creeping garland while figuring at least it can't invade their party going forward. Rey was saving woodchucks from garland but Anakin still preferred it to the hats, which feels extremely on point, and Miguel was webbing garland to the walls of Luke's. Effective, but I feel like I would have ended that shift annoyed.

*chittering*

Yeah, I end every shift annoyed but this would be a reason for it. Finally at the torture house, Watts and Steven had leftovers and discussed whether the garland is dangerous, but if it was that's what we've got a sheriff for. It's also possible I've been here too long.

Anyway, that's my notes. Enjoy not catching any of your shows today.

Morning, all. This is Jaye with yesterday's news.

Ignis brought Liliana coffee and makeouts in bed before making plans, and otherwise the thing for the day was Friendsgiving at Pizza Planet. Among those showing up were Stark, who talked to Raiden about cooking, Boc, who just came in for a pizza and Stark tried to get him to stay while Raiden had to explain what Friendsgiving is. Anakin and Raiden talked food, mostly pies. Stark and Anakin thought the dinner was a good idea, Raiden promised Gray he could help put up a tree later, though Gray had some things to say to Graham about it not being Christmas yet, Rey wanted to hear about Raiden's family holidays, and Old Steve needed Raiden's help to figure out where to even start. Will brought his dog with Raiden's okay, and he got to catch up with Rey and Stark, and Raiden welcomed Graham.

There was also enough food to feed a medium sized nation. Anakin caught Rey up on his five Thanksgivings, and she and Stark talked about the food. Then of course Summer had the drinks covered, which Rey and Raiden thought were cute, Old Steve told Summer about his fancy Thanksgiving with Tony, and Stark offered to try the turkey jello.

....


Anyway, that's my notes! Till next week.

Morning, all. This is Jaye, coming at you to tell you that yesterday, Amaya and Irene had a lazy morning watching Fashion Week and Stark got some cookies from the Perk.

And now that I've told you that, I'm going back to bed.

Morning, all. This is Jaye with yesterday's news.

Liliana and Ignis started with talk of his perfect day, and then something something Marc found Liliana on the beach all covered in blood later? Sure, these are things that happen. Anyway, he brought her over to Ignis'...eses to get some help, which came in the form of Stark, who apparently didn't have the kind of help Liliana wanted? And then Liliana explained to Ignis about how she killed a demon, and Marc went over to Casa de Torture and told Watts and taught him how to use a knife.

Having a much more normal night, Jane was stuck listening to zombie romance woes, but also talking to Rey about Halloween and also the other terrible things you can turn into here. Listen, I said more normal, not normal.

Anyway, that's it. How 'bout we all... like at least strive for normal today.

Morning, all. This is Jaye with your not many notes, because I think after a party everyone needs a rest day.

Liliana had what we will call a rough wakeup, and over at Caritas, Jane got to be horrified by- ...good god- a zombie hookup. Luckily Anakin was her hero and put a stop to that, because no.

Anyway, spend the week with the image of zombie hookups in your brains. Bye.

Morning, all. This is Jaye here on the wrong day to tell you what happened yesterday.

Staring off with school, where Renaissance class did introductions and Basic Weaponry got to do introductions and stab things. Ah, Fandom.

Over in town, Arden got a present and talked to Marc about solutions and her backstory, Liliana had probably the weirdest wakeup of the day- probably- and Danny and New Steve had pizza date night.

Eddie supervised Halloween decorating at Fast Eddie's and I would like to remind everyone that it is still September. Prompto was in a good mood at Turtle and Canary, on this, ampersand day, I guess, and got texts from Liz, Graham was playing with bouncy dice- not dirty- at the Magpie Emporium, and Raiden was leaning into fall at Pizza Planet. New Steve took issue with the weather, but went on theme instead of getting something like a plain cheese anyway. And finally Rey and Anakin were trying to figure out why a woodchuck would have a phone, let alone a ring tone. Honestly at this point I wouldn't even question it. Why do raccoons have speakeasies? Some things just are.

That's all for me today. See you tomorrow.

Hello, all. It's Jaye, here on the wrong day again, because it's fun to keep people wondering.

No classes today, but they did have shenanigans, where Anakin was back for a few rounds of cat-themed activities for the voluntolds. I love how much this island loves messing with him. Brings me joy, as a friend. And hey, Summer and Beaker actually liked their shirts! He and Jane commiserated over being cats and he told Stark about uh, stalking chipmunks-

*angry chittering*

I don't know that you need to avenge-

*door slamming*

Okay, well, good luck with that, Anakin. At Dite's, Irene was very excited about monster dildos... uh, I don't know if I should say that's dirty or not. No, but also yes? And Shunsui had a roller coaster at Turtle and Canary. The fact that I don't know which sounds more fun makes me think I've been single too long. And at Caritas, Summer was rooting for Tino to get disappeared. So say we all. She and Rey talked about trouble with teaching of the non-class variety, and Stark assured her that things are better now than last week, and Steven decided to extoll the virtues of the views of the evil house that he and Watts are moving into because, you know, no sense of self-preservation. Watts also tried to explain that the house is good now, really. Are we sure they're not possessed? Because the only sensible reason to move in there is that there's no sensible reason and also the house is possessing them. I do know someone who does exorcisms. Would not recommend if you're a bleeder. Anyway, Steven decided to take a lesson and be kinder to Stark in telling him about how they're turning Casa de Torture into a boarding house...

*long silence*

I mean, didn't the house just try to make it a boarding house of torture? Also apparently Watts and Steven are already planning to go camping, so hopefully the murder house is cool with this! This is maybe the worst series of decisions I've ever had to read on radio. But happier things! Rey and Raiden talked about high school! And Stark and Summer flirted over shots! And Raiden was happy to have shots and he and Summer discussed pets! See, that's happy and exactly the note we're gonna end on!

Good luck this week. And maybe invest in popcorn.

Morning, all. This is Jaye with all your Friday news on a Saturday. See, I didn't even try to trick you this time.

Friday means we have school. scrapes class escaped monsters, food crimes decided to torture their students with Christmas in July, and Movie night tried to counteract the heat with a cold-themed movie. Good luck, we're in hell. Also, Jo had a chill library day.

In town, Prompto made the mistake of disprecting Bob Marley and also texted with Liz, Sidon built a kitten wall at the animal shelter, and Raiden missed out on Christmas in July at the pizza place but honestly after the food class maybe he doesn't want the association. Rey and Anakin were having a very normal training day, and Graham lost the battle against the Cheetos he bought for the Magpie Emporium. But Guillermo bought pizza and everybody got their play on anyway.

And we're going to finish up with Annie and Diego's baby shower, on the beach, where spoiler for those who might be worried: no one died by melting. People showed up, though Nell told Gladio she wasn't staying long, Steven and Watts flirted, and Liz and Prompto complimented Summer parties. The parents had a tent, where Annie thanked Summer, told Steven about her and Diego's siblings, was already thinking ahead to Mother's Month with Wanda, told Watts about her babymoon, and confused Gladio about diaper cakes. Diego thanked Summer and probably also scared her off babysitting, Annie offered to share her foot water and get thrones IRL, Diego told Steven about his family apocalypii, and New Steve and Diego agreed that jello babies should be edible. Plus there were games and presents and all that.

And that's all the news. Don't melt! Being hosed down off the stairs is a bad way to go.

Morning, all. This is Jaye with yesterday's much less busy, post-party news.

Watts and Steven traded in date night notes for morning after party snuggles, Miguel got to check out the new Luke's setup and talked with Dwight about classes, and Raiden got to tell Jane about the party after she missed it. Luckily it's Fandom and there'll be others.

*chittering*

Okay, yeah, well they won't be galas.

Morning, all. It's Jaye again. What day is it?

Slow day, whatever it was, all in town. Rosa decided to be unofficially drunk and bored on the beach, where she and Amaya mocked each other's drink choices but kind of approved it Miguel's, and Miguel and Amaya caught up about weredamage to things. And Watts and Steven traded in their cooking dates for a cycling date in the holosuite room, which is a totally normal sentence.

And that's me for the week.

Morning, all. This is Jaye with yesterday's news.

In town, Gojyo took over the tattoo shop, Miguel was a spectator at the construction of the new Luke's, Watts and "Steven" had a pizza cooking date, and Jane started her shift at Caritas with Tino allergies, Raiden telling her about his workshop, and telling Rey about were-elephants. Werelephants. You know what, I'll workshop it.

And that's it for Saturday. Okay.

Morning, all. This is Jaye, here with yesterday's news. Which was a less about bitey animals and more about a certain event that we call graduation. People showed up and Summer and Goose planned to drunk dial his dad to say Goose's ship is broken. Good plan. In the procession, Tahani complained at Sakaki about the gowns, which sounds about par for the course. There were speeches, there were diplomas, and then of course things were interrupted by a bunch of Druids over the treatment of animals over the last few days like some people weren't those animals, but that was interrupted by a rain of shrimp. Also par for the course.

And then Miguel came to work to find that Luke's isn't exactly workable right now, and Tony's already at work fixing up Stark Industries. Because it's been a week and I'm glad I stayed in my basement.

Anyway, that's it.

Morning, all. It's Jaye again, and if you're like me, you're avoiding your families today. Let's give you a little more reason to procrastinate.

In the dorms, Graham and Guillermo settled in for some video game playing after warmups. Yeah, okay. I guess your thumbs need some conditioning or something, right? Keep the tendonitis away?

In town, Miguel was all over National Empanada Day, which didn't surprise Dwight at all, and Lucifer got Duke to join him for wine and relaxation on the boat. I bet he had to twist his arm and everything.

And that's all the procrastination I can give you today. Enjoy.

Morning, all. This is Jaye with a surprisingly big stack of notes, comparatively. Apparently there was drama? Let's find out together.

So there was a flea market in the abandoned warehouse district, I guess a good number of people showed up and some may even have made small talk, like Nell inviting Boc to look around and him offering to help, and Boc also offered to be of help to Stark upon meeting him. Then there were booths and tables, and here we go. "Steven" was happy to visit Nell at work and talked up Summer to her, Cutter made sure Connor was okay with doing this and then bought some of his stuff, and Guillermo got to nerd out about vampires and stuff. Duke and Miguel caught up on potential classes while working the Luke's booth, Nell and Duke talked home and backstories, Nell asked Dwight about his craft, Miguel brought Rosa coffee at her booth and they talked shop, and Nell asked about her stuff. Liz and Prompto were out as new parents alone, and Liz showed off baby pictures to "Steven" and Nell, who also asked Prompto about the baby. New babies are sort of boring little blobs but I guess they are good conversation starters.

Steph got Stark's attention with cupcake dice, and Connor came to look at her stuff while running a booth to get rid of his stuff, and Steph and Nell talk about a collaboration. Liliana checked out Eliot's booth and Nell went to see Hannibal, and Goose chose the cat-petting booth as a good time to ask Jon about giving notice on his apartment. Eliot caught up with Jon while petting his cat, Duke brought Octavia a milkshake and teased her about voicemails, Nell tried to trade tea for emergency supplies where Stark got one for free, Liliana explained her booth to Stark and Nell and Octavia, and that's all my notes, have a good-

*chittering*

It was going to be for dramatic effect, and you ruined it, you big ruiners. As things were closing down, a fire started in the warehouse with people inside, which is a dumber way to say it than I intended to say it. The firefighters were on top of it, with Buck getting Cutter and Connor out after one of them got trapped, where Vi got Steph out when she got cornered, Travis saved Nell and taught her stop, drop and roll, Stark tried to help others and had to have Travis help him out, Eddie helped Jon and his cat, and Eddie had to help Liliana who ran back in to save her zombies.

...

So the clinic was pretty busy, with Libby and Hannibal showing up to help Will, with him getting Nell in to be seen, and Stark and Travis kind of brought each other in. Meanwhile elsewhere, Steph and Vi got themselves home for some aftermath.

Also Lucifer was putting stuff around the Cape Rouge, none the wiser.

And that's all the notes. Uhhh, rest up, Fandom.

Morning, all. This is Jaye, here to give a basic rundown of what a few select people on island did yesterday. Like a creeper.

It's all in town this week. Summer was at home on her phone, texting with Stark and getting Purim present deliveries, which I did not realize was a thing. Watts and "Stephen" did some cuddling and talking, Miguel was ignoring dog racing at Luke's... on a laptop. Okay, ignoring a dog race if it was happening at Luke's would be much harder and more impressive. I'm clear now. Connor was doing some post-trip caffeinating at JGOB, and at the Perk, Envy was visiting the Perk and critiquing interdimensional bridal looks and fielding calls from Peter.

And that's it. Bye.