[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Hello, Fandom. I'm Vala Mal Doran and I'll be your broadcaster this evening. As a word of warning, if one more [microphone feedback] squirrel shows up with a ream of paper covered in almost illegible notes, I'm going to start shooting."

*sounds of skittering, then a gun safety being released*

"I wasn't kidding."

Beware the squirrels, for they are writing everything down. And I do mean everything. Stupid squirrels. )

"That's everything, unless I forgot something. And if I did, feel free to look through the notes on the floor of the radio station until you find what you're looking for. If you don't want to do that, then you can do the broadcast next time. Thanks again to my unnamed special reporter. I'm going to get a drink. Night!"

[ooc: Huge thanks and booze to the radio squirrels of extreme awesomeness! Special thanks to my guest hosts [livejournal.com profile] stupid_toasters and [livejournal.com profile] bigdamndean who made it so I could get to bed sometime tonight!]
[identity profile] fever-babies.livejournal.com
Vala Mal Doran: "Good evening, Fandom. I'll be your hostess, Vala Mal Doran. For those of you who don't know me...well, you should stop by the radio station sometime. Or sign up for my class on comparative religions that I'll be teaching next semester. I believe you'll find it enlightening, unless you're someone like Ares or Vice Principal Hades, who already have a pretty decent understanding of how religion works."

"At least in Ares's case, though, I don't think I was expecting religion to have quite so much leather."

*clears throat* "Anyway, I'm digressing. You're here for all the news, and I'm here to deliver most of it. Not only did a number of the radio squirrels called in sick for the evening, but there was a small aquatic accident with some of the notes, so what notes we have are pretty illegible in places. My apologies."

Just another quiet day in Fandom...except for the squirrels... )

Shark Attack! - Giant Killer Shark: The Musical
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Good evening, Fandom. I'm sure you all enjoyed having my wonderful employer reclaim his rightful place on the airwaves last week, but, alas, I have returned and you're stuck with me. It's okay, you'll deal, and it's nothing fatal. After all, you survived yesterday's incredibly special and innovative broadcast, and that's always a good sign."

"I'd tell you to ignore the naked squirrels, but there's no reason why you should. Other than the fact that their cavorting may upset the more delicate members of our listening audience, it's not like you can see them. Unless they get drunk and start ringing doorbells, but something tells me that might be a sign of a different problem." And 'lo, there was news! )

"See, now that's just disturbing. Seriously, does nobody have a bunch of tiny bathing suits?"
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Good evening, Fandom. This is Vala Mal Doran, your harlot of the airwaves, here to bring you news of every single rulebreaker in Fandom. Yes. Because, as anyone who has taken my classes can tell you, I am all about following the established rules, lack of personal freedoms, and staying isolated from members of any sex that might attract you."

Except for the part where that's an obvious lie, as is a good chunk of this broadcast )

*music switches again to My Country, 'tis of Thee*

"Oh, I know this one! My Country, 'tis of Thee! Sweet land of LIBERTY, of thee I sing..." *music continues* "Good night, and be glad you live in this wonderful country, which respects the rights of its citizens and was formed on the back of a rebellion, so we see that these things often work very well. Not that I'd be advocating rebellion or revolt over the airwaves, of course, because I would never ever do that."

[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Good evening, Fandom! Before I get started, I'd like to give a hearty congratulations to Principal Washburn and her illegitimate offspring! Welcome to the world, small person, and be glad you've been born to a family that eschews social convention! Trust me, you'll be much happier that way."

And now, the news! )

"Not a shirtless or pantsless adult in the bunch! We are woefully unrepresented, and I feel that this situation should be remedied! Be free, recapture your youth!"

"Er, and good night!"
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Happy Saturday, Fandom! This is Vala Mal Doran, and I'm thrilled to report on a staggering lack of dinosaurs this week, which is a one hundred percent improvement over last week. I'm also noticing that things are much quieter. Not that this is a complaint. I, for one, don't need more stitches."

Barry Plodder kills Fandom High. ZOMG SPOILERS! )

"Huh. So, have a good night, and try not to stay up all night reading."
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Good evening, Fandom. Welcome to another thrilling episode of Vala Mal Doran radio. Sadly, I am working solo this evening as my lovely co-host had alternate romantic plans. Or he got thrown by the dinosaurs suddenly showing up and went back to wherever it was that he came from. Either way, I'll try to make this brief."

Welcome to Jurassic Fandom )

"And, in conclusion, Fandom, if you dated Jack Harkness, I say to get ye to the clinic and get some penicillin. That is all."
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
Vala: "Good evening, Fandom. This is Vala Mal Doran, and my lovely assistant, Jack Harkness. Say hello to the nice people, Jack."

Jack: "Hello, nice people. I'd much rather be greeting you in person, but our budget doesn't stretch to video. Oh, and yes, I'm shirtless."

Vala: "Aren't you all crushed that this isn't a video medium? I know I am. Oh, no, wait, I'm not, since I can see him."

Jack: "They should be. Private showings, however, can be arranged."

Vala: "Well, then. That's lovely, isn't it?"

Way too much flirting to be legal for radio )

Vala: "Is that so? I wouldn't mind seeing a practical demonstration sometime, if you can fit me into your busy social calendar."

Jack: "I've got a hole in my schedule right now, as it happens."

Vala: "So why are we still sitting here in this studio?"

Jack: "I have no idea." *sound of someone standing up, possibly knocking over a chair* "Let's get out of here. Good night, Fandom!"

Vala: "Good night!"

*sounds of a door closing, then dead air*

[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com

"In case any of you were wondering, that's the sound of a short in the radio equipment. Or, more realistically, the sound of a short in the equipment that's going to set me on fire if this broadcast goes on for too long. Good thing nothing happened today, right?"

Of course, right! )

"And that's it for tonight, from a woman who seriously wishes she'd thought to sell towels about eight hours ago."
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Good evening, Fandom! Congratulations on surviving your first whatever the heck that was that I'll be discussing later on in the notes. I, of course, was safely enjoying the relative cool and safety of my basement and missed everything."

And now, the invasion! )

*clears throat*

"Good night. Please remember that just because something is cute doesn't mean it's not dangerous. Unless it's wearing pigtails and black leather, and then it's just plain adorable."
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Good evening, Fandom. This is Vala Mal Doran and I have one thing to say to you all:"

Get the hell off the phone! )

"So, yes. That's it, and I'm sure your cellular phone companies will be sending their bills of gratitude shortly. Move over, squirrels. I'm sharing your fort."

[ooc: Huge thanks to all the RL squirrels and all the players who linkdropped their calls, making my job much less difficult!]
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Hello, Fandom. This is Vala Mal Doran, and if I'm here reading the notes, it must be Friday. Also, in case anyone is wondering, I have registered for gifts online. www.target.com. That's Mal Doran--two words. Groom's name is Hades. H-A-D-E-S. Yes. There's a list, and there are many gifts in several available price ranges. You don't even have to find a store."

Gossip, news, classes, and costumes )

"Anyway, that's all for tonight, folks! Please remember to shop early, shop often, and remember that price is no object!"
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"Good evening again, Fandom, and I must say thank you to all the lovely people who decided that I was worthy of broadcasting over the airwaves every Friday night. For those of you who are dying of curiosity about what a teacher does when she's not on the radio or teaching class, I am here to tell you that she goes off the island and explores some lovely museums in Washington, DC. I believe you call them the...Smithsonian? Is that correct? Anyway, they have some of the most incredible jewel collections, particularly this magnificent blue diamond with a curse on it--cursed jewels are always worth more on the black open market, as anyone who takes my class would know. Security's a bit complicated, but I've definitely seen worse, especially considering the lack of technological advancement on this planet."

"Not that this planet isn't lovely--it's just...quaint. Yes. Not that I'm complaining. It makes the alarm systems much more access...and that's enough of that, I believe."

And now, the goss--er, news! ) "As a reminder, any late-breaking news that occurs once the squirrels have soused themselves and passed out for the night are on the bulletin board.

As for tonight, the squirrels have run out of rum, so that tells me that it's time to vacate the premises. Sleep well, and remember that the cabin walls only go up three-quarters of the way, and who came up with that development? You can't possibly have any priv--oh, I see. Never mind. Please carry on as you were. Good night!"
[identity profile] spacepiratevala.livejournal.com
"This is Vala Mal Doran, and I'll be your radio personality for the evening, recounting the fascinating and varied events that took place throughout your day. Or maybe I just tell you the news as reported to me by drunken squirrels who are a bit too possessive of the radio equipment. Either way, I'm in this small windowless room that smells like rum and unwashed pirate. It's a peculiar odor, and not one I'm particularly pleased by.

Also, Ares, if you're listening, my shoulder is still sore and I told you it didn't bend that way, not that it wasn't worth it, but I thought you'd like to know that you were wrong, because you strike me as that kind of person. Er, God. Yeah, let's go with God. And you still owe me a new shoulder. Preferably not attached to a person.

*ahem* Anyway...

The Squirrels were very busy )

Okay. One more time. THE PIG WAS DEAD. If there was a ghost pig or a zombie pig or a cloned pig, then you'd have problems. But you didn't, so instead you had a sandwich. This seems remarkably fair. And tasty.

And...hey, that's it. I'm done. Huh.

Please send my tribute to the radio station, care of Vala Mal Doran. Or to my apartment, at 18 Apocalypse Avenue. Gold and other non-traceable and easily transportable items are best.

[ooc: There are some links on the bulletin board. Please check them out!]

Fandom High RPG

About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU

Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun


Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.