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fandom_radio2007-06-16 02:06 am
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Fandom Radio, Friday, June 15, 2007
"Good evening, Fandom. This is Vala Mal Doran and I have one thing to say to you all:"
*clears throat* "More on that later."
SCHOOL: Happily telephone free
"As a refreshing start to the day, our fearless leader announces the music festival, and that Sabriel, Molly, and Zuko have detention. Sounds entertaining. Too bad we can't videotape detention. The library was quiet; lucky, lucky Thursday. Mechanics investigates technology and oooh, I'll definitely have to check that out later. The cafeteria had cheeseburgers, french fries, salad, and milkshakes, but no people."
"Flight and Flying plays with swoop bikes and speeder bikes. Students had the choice of either flying over the always scintillating sands of Tatooine or the slightly more challenging woods of Endor. John Sheppard, king of making teachers wonder about his sanity, offers Anakin a turnip. Lucas verified that they were really going into space next week, Johnny and Isabel discussed their plans for the upcoming weekend, and Isabel then checked on how Anakin was doing."
"Well, for starters, he was apparently afraid of his phone, which I was going to be all sarcastic about, and then I remembered mine, and that actually is a very reasonable reaction. Carry on, Anakin. John Winchester has office hours and makes phone calls, and see, this entire part of the broadcast would be so much more interesting if we were talking about naked dancing instead of talking on the phone. Just noting that out loud. Constable Fraser, as you'd expect, was very polite about returning his phone calls."
DORMS: Have you people stopped talking to each other face to face?
"This morning, which feels like it was about four million phone calls ago, Setsuna introduced a very tired and sleepy Teddy to the weapons. I approve of this enterprise, but perhaps you should have started later in the day? Like around eight phone calls. I think that's how I'll measure time now."
"This afternoon, at fourteen phone calls and two text messages, in the fifth floor common room, Warren, who is either an evil genius and just plain evil, purposely makes phone calls. Evie shows up, and promptly tells Warren that he is not to let Chad or Wyatt into the room because Chad propositioned her even though they are both dating other people. Which really seems more like a reason to smack Chad or come to an equitable arrangement than bar him from their room, but to each their own, I suppose. Also, Evie was the reason Animal through Warren was a lesbian. Good work, Evie! Someone's getting a dictionary. Warren's day continues to be unique, as he gets in an argument with Zuko, who is wearing blue, and you'll all be delighted to know that Zuko is not a watertribe peasant. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm sure. He then threatens Chad's women and cat, and tells Charlie that she's won a free trip to the luge capital of the Western Hemisphere. I...have no idea where that is. Does that make me an American citizen? Can I stay?"
"Aaaaand, as I'm sure you've all been waiting for..." *sounds of hands slapping on a tabletop* "...the phone calls! Dawn calls while doing laundry and Alec shows up with detergent because she asked him to. Rikku dropped by Valentine's to give him a pep talk, Donatello volunteers to help Valentine and Valentine recruits Buffy, as per Rikku's suggestion. If you're stealing things without adult supervision, I'm going to be very upset. Er. As I was saying, Sabriel, Rikku, Luke, John Crichton, Gavin, Bridge, Ronan, Qui-Gon, Chad, Annette who got a note slipped under her door and has what I'm sure was a very enlightening conversation with Dick, Karal with a distinct lack of endurance but who converses with his roommate anyway, Carmela--who's Carmela? Oh, wait, you're one of my students, never mind. Must be brain damage from the stupid cell phones--Turtle, Inara, Savannah, Ami, Dick, Anders, Sam, Naminé, Mac, Wyatt, Animal, Charlie, Conner, a very melodramatic Warren, Eve, Setsuna, Evie, Valentine, Peter Petrelli, Isabel, Hamlet, Pam, Donatello, Willow, Molly, Alec, Johnny, Stark, Sheppard, Summer, Sokka who has a real live visitor, Dean, Naomi, Will, Teddy, Bel, and Aravis all use the phone to the detriment of society. I think Aeryn has the right idea--she avoids hers."
*takes deep breath* *coughs* "Did I forget anyone? No? Good. Don't you all live in the same building? What the heck is wrong with knocking on doors???"
"Jim mopes in his room and, for a change, does not pick up the phone. Jim may be my new favorite student. Pam stopped by. Chad dropped by Teddy's room and Teddy confronts him about Katara wanting to have a threesome--oooh, finally, the good stuff--and Chad responds by asking why Teddy never called him back. Now, Chad. I am not a queen of intellectual discourse, but even I know that that's not the way to win that discussion. Anyway, the squirrels thought you were adorable. Rikku and Jude were equally adorable, if not more so, at their beach picnic to celebrate their anniversary. Johnny is upset about missing his birthday, but Savannah wished him a happy belated birthday and Ronan dropped by, so hopefully that cheered him up somewhat."
"In leaving this insane place news, Peter Petrelli and his merry band gather before their trip to New York. He and Isabel discuss--what else?--the phone calls, but he told Dawn about the must-see parts of New York. Dawn and Isabel gossip about Molly's message, Gavin tells Peter he's very 'ugh' about the phones, and he and Karal were very relieved that their messages weren't for them. Peter and Karal debated strapping Sam to the roof so everyone would fit in the car, Karal informs Isabel that he was out of town and would never hurt a library book and wow, that's very comforting, and finally for this little segment, Dawn told Sam that Alec helped her with her laundry so she wouldn't spend the weekend underwearless. Are you sure you're going on the same trip as Karal and Isabel, you two?"
TOWN: Yeah, phones go nuts here too
"The clinic was quiet during the day, except for Christian checking his god-forsaken voicemail. Er, that's my opinion, not the squirrels', just so we're clear. Please don't blame them, they've had an exhausting day. Awww, poor little squirrels, who wants a blanket? Or some imported nuts? A nice soft pillow? Yes, there you are. It was also quiet at night on Natalie's shift. Good squirrels. Anyway, Setsuna sipped on sake at the Devil's Nest and watches her cell phone. When cell phones attack? Oh, can that be a new reality show? If that becomes a new reality show on Fox's fall schedule, I expect a royalty check. Care of Fandom. Not over the phone please, just so we're clear."
"It was GOB's birthday party at Caritas this evening. He received many presents. He got a gift from Willow, which I thought I just established, thanks, Molly gave him half a bag of popcorn, and Sheppard gave him half a pack of gum. Oh, nice. Very well done. Remind me not to invite you two to one of my many birthday parties. There was singing for GOB, Willow wandered around the stage for a while before talking to the birthday boy, Tino manned the bar, Molly and Sheppard stopped by to ask GOB to be a flag football sponsor. Hmmm. Better than flag football supporter, I suppose. Though we've had quite enough innuendo today, as I read through the notes. Forget I said anything. There's then a note about 12 cupcakes, but I have no idea what that means, so let's just press on, shall we? Finally, at least for Caritas, anyone not wanting to speak to GOB hid in the lounge."
"In other non-phone-related news, such as it is, Charlie and Dean go to Fast Eddie's and have a bite to eat before playing. Chad shows up to bowl and is greeted by Charlie."
"Yitzhak opens Luke's Diner, Lumiere opens Cafe Fina and gets a special dinner request from Jude, Mary is behind the desk at the Arms Hotel, Gabriel makes and returns calls at the church, Millie opens the Book Haven, Buffy opens the Magic Box, and Liz opens the Post Office. Lumiere opens Cafe Fina, er, again, I guess, and Emma has lunch with Gabriel, Mary, and GOB. Interesting assemblage, Emma. I hope you all survived the experience."
"Aaaaand, we're back to the phone list. Seriously, people. I know the human race as a whole is a bit behind the times technologically, but surely you must have more important and interesting things to do?" *sigh* *clears throat* *drinks* "Some of Mary's calls made her blush. Less volatile reactions came from me, and I can't believe you nosy little buggers caught me right out of the shower, Aly who also got a visit from Roy Mustang, Moist glared at his, Emma delights in hers, The Jerries are themselves, only over the phone, Ellen enjoys her messages, John Winchester's make him decide to talk to his son, Squall does a good deed by returning his messages, Stanley actually uses his phone for the purpose the gods intended and tries to get food delivered, Barbossa accepts a date and clarifies his position on ninjas, Josh sends messages to purposely traumatize his students, and I have to respect that too, Deadpool becomes convinced that he's sexy, and finally, my housemate stares at her phone and wonders why people are coming on to her."
FRIDAY EVENT: Music festival
"Well. When I said finally, just a minute ago, I was referring to the end of the phone calls, not the end of the broadcast. I must say that I never expected to be grateful to one of these Friday gathering things. As those of you not surgically attached to your phones know, there was a music festival in the park. People got some refreshments, and the squirrels...er, such as they are, in what seems to be a fort of some kind...would like me to let you know that John and Molly were absolutely not there as dates. Which I assume means they are, but they're in massive denial and they have sexual tension that makes people want to throw nuts at them. People bought things at the merchandise booth, and an an audience, and the musical acts got warmed up backstage. It's in the eighties here. How much warmer do you need to be?
*crickets*
"Yes, that was a bad pun. No apologies. There were performances from The Wonders, Kira, Michael Bolton until he got dragged off by Fosse, Schroeder, The Zack Attack--oh good god, Mystik Spiral, Erik, Jessica Rabbit who has mesmerization powers, apparently, Ryuichi Sakuma, Ryan and Sharpay Evans, and Dirk Hopeless and the Undertows featuring Nikki Savage. For some reason, I don't see that last one fitting on a drum kit. No idea why."
"So, yes. That's it, and I'm sure your cellular phone companies will be sending their bills of gratitude shortly. Move over, squirrels. I'm sharing your fort."
[ooc: Huge thanks to all the RL squirrels and all the players who linkdropped their calls, making my job much less difficult!]
*clears throat* "More on that later."
SCHOOL: Happily telephone free
"As a refreshing start to the day, our fearless leader announces the music festival, and that Sabriel, Molly, and Zuko have detention. Sounds entertaining. Too bad we can't videotape detention. The library was quiet; lucky, lucky Thursday. Mechanics investigates technology and oooh, I'll definitely have to check that out later. The cafeteria had cheeseburgers, french fries, salad, and milkshakes, but no people."
"Flight and Flying plays with swoop bikes and speeder bikes. Students had the choice of either flying over the always scintillating sands of Tatooine or the slightly more challenging woods of Endor. John Sheppard, king of making teachers wonder about his sanity, offers Anakin a turnip. Lucas verified that they were really going into space next week, Johnny and Isabel discussed their plans for the upcoming weekend, and Isabel then checked on how Anakin was doing."
"Well, for starters, he was apparently afraid of his phone, which I was going to be all sarcastic about, and then I remembered mine, and that actually is a very reasonable reaction. Carry on, Anakin. John Winchester has office hours and makes phone calls, and see, this entire part of the broadcast would be so much more interesting if we were talking about naked dancing instead of talking on the phone. Just noting that out loud. Constable Fraser, as you'd expect, was very polite about returning his phone calls."
DORMS: Have you people stopped talking to each other face to face?
"This morning, which feels like it was about four million phone calls ago, Setsuna introduced a very tired and sleepy Teddy to the weapons. I approve of this enterprise, but perhaps you should have started later in the day? Like around eight phone calls. I think that's how I'll measure time now."
"This afternoon, at fourteen phone calls and two text messages, in the fifth floor common room, Warren, who is either an evil genius and just plain evil, purposely makes phone calls. Evie shows up, and promptly tells Warren that he is not to let Chad or Wyatt into the room because Chad propositioned her even though they are both dating other people. Which really seems more like a reason to smack Chad or come to an equitable arrangement than bar him from their room, but to each their own, I suppose. Also, Evie was the reason Animal through Warren was a lesbian. Good work, Evie! Someone's getting a dictionary. Warren's day continues to be unique, as he gets in an argument with Zuko, who is wearing blue, and you'll all be delighted to know that Zuko is not a watertribe peasant. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm sure. He then threatens Chad's women and cat, and tells Charlie that she's won a free trip to the luge capital of the Western Hemisphere. I...have no idea where that is. Does that make me an American citizen? Can I stay?"
"Aaaaand, as I'm sure you've all been waiting for..." *sounds of hands slapping on a tabletop* "...the phone calls! Dawn calls while doing laundry and Alec shows up with detergent because she asked him to. Rikku dropped by Valentine's to give him a pep talk, Donatello volunteers to help Valentine and Valentine recruits Buffy, as per Rikku's suggestion. If you're stealing things without adult supervision, I'm going to be very upset. Er. As I was saying, Sabriel, Rikku, Luke, John Crichton, Gavin, Bridge, Ronan, Qui-Gon, Chad, Annette who got a note slipped under her door and has what I'm sure was a very enlightening conversation with Dick, Karal with a distinct lack of endurance but who converses with his roommate anyway, Carmela--who's Carmela? Oh, wait, you're one of my students, never mind. Must be brain damage from the stupid cell phones--Turtle, Inara, Savannah, Ami, Dick, Anders, Sam, Naminé, Mac, Wyatt, Animal, Charlie, Conner, a very melodramatic Warren, Eve, Setsuna, Evie, Valentine, Peter Petrelli, Isabel, Hamlet, Pam, Donatello, Willow, Molly, Alec, Johnny, Stark, Sheppard, Summer, Sokka who has a real live visitor, Dean, Naomi, Will, Teddy, Bel, and Aravis all use the phone to the detriment of society. I think Aeryn has the right idea--she avoids hers."
*takes deep breath* *coughs* "Did I forget anyone? No? Good. Don't you all live in the same building? What the heck is wrong with knocking on doors???"
"Jim mopes in his room and, for a change, does not pick up the phone. Jim may be my new favorite student. Pam stopped by. Chad dropped by Teddy's room and Teddy confronts him about Katara wanting to have a threesome--oooh, finally, the good stuff--and Chad responds by asking why Teddy never called him back. Now, Chad. I am not a queen of intellectual discourse, but even I know that that's not the way to win that discussion. Anyway, the squirrels thought you were adorable. Rikku and Jude were equally adorable, if not more so, at their beach picnic to celebrate their anniversary. Johnny is upset about missing his birthday, but Savannah wished him a happy belated birthday and Ronan dropped by, so hopefully that cheered him up somewhat."
"In leaving this insane place news, Peter Petrelli and his merry band gather before their trip to New York. He and Isabel discuss--what else?--the phone calls, but he told Dawn about the must-see parts of New York. Dawn and Isabel gossip about Molly's message, Gavin tells Peter he's very 'ugh' about the phones, and he and Karal were very relieved that their messages weren't for them. Peter and Karal debated strapping Sam to the roof so everyone would fit in the car, Karal informs Isabel that he was out of town and would never hurt a library book and wow, that's very comforting, and finally for this little segment, Dawn told Sam that Alec helped her with her laundry so she wouldn't spend the weekend underwearless. Are you sure you're going on the same trip as Karal and Isabel, you two?"
TOWN: Yeah, phones go nuts here too
"The clinic was quiet during the day, except for Christian checking his god-forsaken voicemail. Er, that's my opinion, not the squirrels', just so we're clear. Please don't blame them, they've had an exhausting day. Awww, poor little squirrels, who wants a blanket? Or some imported nuts? A nice soft pillow? Yes, there you are. It was also quiet at night on Natalie's shift. Good squirrels. Anyway, Setsuna sipped on sake at the Devil's Nest and watches her cell phone. When cell phones attack? Oh, can that be a new reality show? If that becomes a new reality show on Fox's fall schedule, I expect a royalty check. Care of Fandom. Not over the phone please, just so we're clear."
"It was GOB's birthday party at Caritas this evening. He received many presents. He got a gift from Willow, which I thought I just established, thanks, Molly gave him half a bag of popcorn, and Sheppard gave him half a pack of gum. Oh, nice. Very well done. Remind me not to invite you two to one of my many birthday parties. There was singing for GOB, Willow wandered around the stage for a while before talking to the birthday boy, Tino manned the bar, Molly and Sheppard stopped by to ask GOB to be a flag football sponsor. Hmmm. Better than flag football supporter, I suppose. Though we've had quite enough innuendo today, as I read through the notes. Forget I said anything. There's then a note about 12 cupcakes, but I have no idea what that means, so let's just press on, shall we? Finally, at least for Caritas, anyone not wanting to speak to GOB hid in the lounge."
"In other non-phone-related news, such as it is, Charlie and Dean go to Fast Eddie's and have a bite to eat before playing. Chad shows up to bowl and is greeted by Charlie."
"Yitzhak opens Luke's Diner, Lumiere opens Cafe Fina and gets a special dinner request from Jude, Mary is behind the desk at the Arms Hotel, Gabriel makes and returns calls at the church, Millie opens the Book Haven, Buffy opens the Magic Box, and Liz opens the Post Office. Lumiere opens Cafe Fina, er, again, I guess, and Emma has lunch with Gabriel, Mary, and GOB. Interesting assemblage, Emma. I hope you all survived the experience."
"Aaaaand, we're back to the phone list. Seriously, people. I know the human race as a whole is a bit behind the times technologically, but surely you must have more important and interesting things to do?" *sigh* *clears throat* *drinks* "Some of Mary's calls made her blush. Less volatile reactions came from me, and I can't believe you nosy little buggers caught me right out of the shower, Aly who also got a visit from Roy Mustang, Moist glared at his, Emma delights in hers, The Jerries are themselves, only over the phone, Ellen enjoys her messages, John Winchester's make him decide to talk to his son, Squall does a good deed by returning his messages, Stanley actually uses his phone for the purpose the gods intended and tries to get food delivered, Barbossa accepts a date and clarifies his position on ninjas, Josh sends messages to purposely traumatize his students, and I have to respect that too, Deadpool becomes convinced that he's sexy, and finally, my housemate stares at her phone and wonders why people are coming on to her."
FRIDAY EVENT: Music festival
"Well. When I said finally, just a minute ago, I was referring to the end of the phone calls, not the end of the broadcast. I must say that I never expected to be grateful to one of these Friday gathering things. As those of you not surgically attached to your phones know, there was a music festival in the park. People got some refreshments, and the squirrels...er, such as they are, in what seems to be a fort of some kind...would like me to let you know that John and Molly were absolutely not there as dates. Which I assume means they are, but they're in massive denial and they have sexual tension that makes people want to throw nuts at them. People bought things at the merchandise booth, and an an audience, and the musical acts got warmed up backstage. It's in the eighties here. How much warmer do you need to be?
*crickets*
"Yes, that was a bad pun. No apologies. There were performances from The Wonders, Kira, Michael Bolton until he got dragged off by Fosse, Schroeder, The Zack Attack--oh good god, Mystik Spiral, Erik, Jessica Rabbit who has mesmerization powers, apparently, Ryuichi Sakuma, Ryan and Sharpay Evans, and Dirk Hopeless and the Undertows featuring Nikki Savage. For some reason, I don't see that last one fitting on a drum kit. No idea why."
"So, yes. That's it, and I'm sure your cellular phone companies will be sending their bills of gratitude shortly. Move over, squirrels. I'm sharing your fort."
[ooc: Huge thanks to all the RL squirrels and all the players who linkdropped their calls, making my job much less difficult!]
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