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fandom_radio2007-08-24 11:49 pm
fever-babies.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-08-24 11:49 pm
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Fandom Radio, Friday, August 24
Vala Mal Doran: "Good evening, Fandom. I'll be your hostess, Vala Mal Doran. For those of you who don't know me...well, you should stop by the radio station sometime. Or sign up for my class on comparative religions that I'll be teaching next semester. I believe you'll find it enlightening, unless you're someone like Ares or Vice Principal Hades, who already have a pretty decent understanding of how religion works."
"At least in Ares's case, though, I don't think I was expecting religion to have quite so much leather."
*clears throat* "Anyway, I'm digressing. You're here for all the news, and I'm here to deliver most of it. Not only did a number of the radio squirrels called in sick for the evening, but there was a small aquatic accident with some of the notes, so what notes we have are pretty illegible in places. My apologies."
Classes
"As you all know by now, since you were all listening avidly to the announcements like the good students you are, Hermione and Dawn were summoned to the grand high squatter's office." *sighs* "Vice Principal Hades also dropped by the office, and I'm sure that ended in a torrid...yeeech. Please send any bills for brain bleach to the station. They won't be reimbursed, but it'll be funny on the bulletin board. Hermione reported to the office, as did Dawn. Because apparently neither of you girls has an ounce of common sense in your heads."
"Also, The Chef served mashed potatoes and meatloaf in the cafeteria and the library was quiet for Thursday."
"In other news, the the construction project that never ends appears to have ended, since they're celebrating a job well done. Bel and Stark admired their handiwork, and over at the food table, Bel and Bridge chat about leaving. Together? Wait, no, that can't be right, because Bel and Anders and Phoebe..." *pause* "Yeah, I can't read that. It looks like big blue blotch. Assume they did something wholesome. Stark stayed for lunch, and Anders took some pictures. Xander and Bridge argued about...I have no idea. Sorry. Drunken squirrel footprint in the way."
"My class, which involved a short lecture on unknown topics, also had a number of people pretending to date, without expressing any outward affection towards each other whatsoever. Because I remember the edicts that were handed down. It was significantly enlivened by my TA, who confused the heck out of Katara--and any number of other people, I might add--by showing up to class wearing Karal's body. Karal? When this wears off, I have one word for you. FUMIGATION."
"Interdisciplinary Studies was all about fire-starting today, complete with a struggle over the fire-making implements and cooking. Over in Ethics, Harriet Jones lectured about survival before sending students out on the Oregon Trail."
*pause*
"Now, I understand I may be from out of town, but since when are we in Oregon?"
Town
Christian worked in the clinic this morning, and Katara played there in the evening, so I guess nothing overly eventful happened. Which is good. Tino, that wild man, was drunk in Caritas, then served a cat. No word on to whom. Did I mention the squirrel flu epidemic? Yes, it's tragic. Setsuna was over at the Devil's Nest, evidently feeling more like herself, including talking to chatting with Billy. Congratulations, Setsuna, and I'm glad you're feeling better!"
"Deadpool waited for Aly in her apartment, but apparently she was out, doing something with Roy that has been obscured by squirrel vomit. As for the rest of town, the Wonders of the World opened today and I'm sorry, pyramids? Really?"
*laughter*
"Sorry. Inside joke. Anyway. Leo showed up to play--did you have fun? Mary who is still a kitty opens the Arms Hotel. Um. How? Aren't you lacking thumbs? Robin showed up to talk to her, and I guess that makes a certain kind of Fandom sense. Sure. Neil and Andrew went out on a date to Ching Tai, and Jude and one of my prize pupils went out of town. Good time for that. I approve."
"Since it's town, there was our regular round of openings: Photo Hut, Luke's Diner--
*thunk*
*thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk*
*drunken squirrel high-fives and the sound of Vala hitting the desk*
*dead air*
Dr. Johnny Fever: "Guys, what are you...you knocked out the news broadcaster! I was talking about Les! That's it, no more Friday night office happy hours. Jeez."
*papers rustling*
"Seriously, babies, these notes are disgusting. Where were we? Ahh. Store openings. Millie opens Book Haven, where they might have something about getting squirrel barf out of the carpet, and Liz opens the post office so I can send those great postcards about the weather being here and wishing you were beautiful. Love 'em."
"There was also the Great Fandom Fright...err, Fight in the park today. The important question of 'what the hell is wrong with all of you' is not answered, but a lot of people are getting whaled on, so, you know, whatever makes you happy. But first, naturally, there is mingling and people getting equipped. There's also dueling, for those of you who want to be like the damn pirate who left me with this gig, rock-paper-scissors, and rock 'em sock 'em robots, which are the greatest things in the world and I dare you to argue otherwise."
Dorms
"Oh, these probably should've gone earlier, babies, but I'm new and my hired help live in trees, so bear with me. Ahem. Jack wakes up in Karal's body and freaks out Aravis and okay, there's no way this is actually what happened. Or that those are real names. And naturally, Karal wakes up in Jack's body. With a naked Cedric. Wow. You guys are either really thorough or have absolutely no tolerance for booze at all."
"Meanwhile, in non-naked news, Sam is running interference for anyone going to see Umbridge, who I've been told to run away from. Apparently wearing pink is a terrifying thing in this town? He let someone named Hermione through, but stopped Bel, Jenny, Rikku, and Savannah. Billy's just loitering, apparently, and Dean and Sam both agree that going into that room is a bad, bad idea. Huh."
"Annette's still sick and she and Dick compare days. Bet Dick's was better. Neil picks up Andrew for date night and I'm okay with that. I lived in LA. Savannah makes a phone call before talking about dumping people, which I'm less down with, and Sam and Dean babysit while the parents are out. Hope you demanded payment up front, boys."
"Karal-in-Jack--we're still doing this?--is lying down in Molly's room after visiting his horse and running into Charlie who knew immediately what happened to him. Wow, that's handy! Can you give me lottery numbers for tomorrow? Jack-in-Karal had a much busier day: after bumping into Karal-in-his-body in the hall, Jack was shirtless watching television, then tried to convince Gavin to do the same, and talked to River who...okay, that can't possibly say 'used to be an owl.' Then Jack went off to crank call some guy named Sam, and Hermione's cuddling her cat. I'm not going to ask why that's news."
"Up on the fifth floor, Willow's watching television with her hedgehog and this animal obsession is really starting to worry me. Annette must be feeling better now because she's there, talking to Willow and Evie, and Evie and Willow talk about the classes they're taking next semester and there's something very wrong with all of you. The squirrels seem to think it's bizarre that there's a bridge in the room, too, and I'm inclined to agree. Bridges belong outside, over rivers."
*more paper rustling*
"It's a name? Man, kids, I'm sorry. The sixties...we did a lot of drugs. And his hair is green, apparently. Way to rebel, poorly named child.
"Jim and Lana are off for vacation, too, which is cutting it close with classes starting, but I never learned anything all that interesting in high school anyway, so go ahead and blow 'em off."
Cheer Camp?
"Oh, they're gonna love this in Cincinnati. I'm reporting on cheer camp. Where they....learn about knife throwing."
*loooooooooong pause*
*super hyper voice*
"God, I LOVE cheerleaders! Especially armed ones! There's pizza for lunch! How exciting! They incorporate ass-kicking into their routines! Oh, God, don't kill me, tiny hyper people! Who made cookies! Molly and Claire talk! Karal-in-Jack is freaking Molly out! River can read minds like Charlie! Buffy and Claire think cookies are good for breakfast! John Sheppard's a big slacker! So's Savannah! Z panics because she can't bake! If I keep talking like this, my head is going to explode!"
*chittering*
"Really, we're done? Okay! I guess I'll just sit around and wait for the lovely Vala to wake back up, apologize beautifully for the slight problem with the squirrels and have a date tomorrow night! Wish me luck, Fandom! This is Doctor Johnny Fever, babies, signing off!"
Shark Attack! - Giant Killer Shark: The Musical
"At least in Ares's case, though, I don't think I was expecting religion to have quite so much leather."
*clears throat* "Anyway, I'm digressing. You're here for all the news, and I'm here to deliver most of it. Not only did a number of the radio squirrels called in sick for the evening, but there was a small aquatic accident with some of the notes, so what notes we have are pretty illegible in places. My apologies."
Classes
"As you all know by now, since you were all listening avidly to the announcements like the good students you are, Hermione and Dawn were summoned to the grand high squatter's office." *sighs* "Vice Principal Hades also dropped by the office, and I'm sure that ended in a torrid...yeeech. Please send any bills for brain bleach to the station. They won't be reimbursed, but it'll be funny on the bulletin board. Hermione reported to the office, as did Dawn. Because apparently neither of you girls has an ounce of common sense in your heads."
"Also, The Chef served mashed potatoes and meatloaf in the cafeteria and the library was quiet for Thursday."
"In other news, the the construction project that never ends appears to have ended, since they're celebrating a job well done. Bel and Stark admired their handiwork, and over at the food table, Bel and Bridge chat about leaving. Together? Wait, no, that can't be right, because Bel and Anders and Phoebe..." *pause* "Yeah, I can't read that. It looks like big blue blotch. Assume they did something wholesome. Stark stayed for lunch, and Anders took some pictures. Xander and Bridge argued about...I have no idea. Sorry. Drunken squirrel footprint in the way."
"My class, which involved a short lecture on unknown topics, also had a number of people pretending to date, without expressing any outward affection towards each other whatsoever. Because I remember the edicts that were handed down. It was significantly enlivened by my TA, who confused the heck out of Katara--and any number of other people, I might add--by showing up to class wearing Karal's body. Karal? When this wears off, I have one word for you. FUMIGATION."
"Interdisciplinary Studies was all about fire-starting today, complete with a struggle over the fire-making implements and cooking. Over in Ethics, Harriet Jones lectured about survival before sending students out on the Oregon Trail."
*pause*
"Now, I understand I may be from out of town, but since when are we in Oregon?"
Town
Christian worked in the clinic this morning, and Katara played there in the evening, so I guess nothing overly eventful happened. Which is good. Tino, that wild man, was drunk in Caritas, then served a cat. No word on to whom. Did I mention the squirrel flu epidemic? Yes, it's tragic. Setsuna was over at the Devil's Nest, evidently feeling more like herself, including talking to chatting with Billy. Congratulations, Setsuna, and I'm glad you're feeling better!"
"Deadpool waited for Aly in her apartment, but apparently she was out, doing something with Roy that has been obscured by squirrel vomit. As for the rest of town, the Wonders of the World opened today and I'm sorry, pyramids? Really?"
*laughter*
"Sorry. Inside joke. Anyway. Leo showed up to play--did you have fun? Mary who is still a kitty opens the Arms Hotel. Um. How? Aren't you lacking thumbs? Robin showed up to talk to her, and I guess that makes a certain kind of Fandom sense. Sure. Neil and Andrew went out on a date to Ching Tai, and Jude and one of my prize pupils went out of town. Good time for that. I approve."
"Since it's town, there was our regular round of openings: Photo Hut, Luke's Diner--
*thunk*
*thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk*
*drunken squirrel high-fives and the sound of Vala hitting the desk*
*dead air*
Dr. Johnny Fever: "Guys, what are you...you knocked out the news broadcaster! I was talking about Les! That's it, no more Friday night office happy hours. Jeez."
*papers rustling*
"Seriously, babies, these notes are disgusting. Where were we? Ahh. Store openings. Millie opens Book Haven, where they might have something about getting squirrel barf out of the carpet, and Liz opens the post office so I can send those great postcards about the weather being here and wishing you were beautiful. Love 'em."
"There was also the Great Fandom Fright...err, Fight in the park today. The important question of 'what the hell is wrong with all of you' is not answered, but a lot of people are getting whaled on, so, you know, whatever makes you happy. But first, naturally, there is mingling and people getting equipped. There's also dueling, for those of you who want to be like the damn pirate who left me with this gig, rock-paper-scissors, and rock 'em sock 'em robots, which are the greatest things in the world and I dare you to argue otherwise."
Dorms
"Oh, these probably should've gone earlier, babies, but I'm new and my hired help live in trees, so bear with me. Ahem. Jack wakes up in Karal's body and freaks out Aravis and okay, there's no way this is actually what happened. Or that those are real names. And naturally, Karal wakes up in Jack's body. With a naked Cedric. Wow. You guys are either really thorough or have absolutely no tolerance for booze at all."
"Meanwhile, in non-naked news, Sam is running interference for anyone going to see Umbridge, who I've been told to run away from. Apparently wearing pink is a terrifying thing in this town? He let someone named Hermione through, but stopped Bel, Jenny, Rikku, and Savannah. Billy's just loitering, apparently, and Dean and Sam both agree that going into that room is a bad, bad idea. Huh."
"Annette's still sick and she and Dick compare days. Bet Dick's was better. Neil picks up Andrew for date night and I'm okay with that. I lived in LA. Savannah makes a phone call before talking about dumping people, which I'm less down with, and Sam and Dean babysit while the parents are out. Hope you demanded payment up front, boys."
"Karal-in-Jack--we're still doing this?--is lying down in Molly's room after visiting his horse and running into Charlie who knew immediately what happened to him. Wow, that's handy! Can you give me lottery numbers for tomorrow? Jack-in-Karal had a much busier day: after bumping into Karal-in-his-body in the hall, Jack was shirtless watching television, then tried to convince Gavin to do the same, and talked to River who...okay, that can't possibly say 'used to be an owl.' Then Jack went off to crank call some guy named Sam, and Hermione's cuddling her cat. I'm not going to ask why that's news."
"Up on the fifth floor, Willow's watching television with her hedgehog and this animal obsession is really starting to worry me. Annette must be feeling better now because she's there, talking to Willow and Evie, and Evie and Willow talk about the classes they're taking next semester and there's something very wrong with all of you. The squirrels seem to think it's bizarre that there's a bridge in the room, too, and I'm inclined to agree. Bridges belong outside, over rivers."
*more paper rustling*
"It's a name? Man, kids, I'm sorry. The sixties...we did a lot of drugs. And his hair is green, apparently. Way to rebel, poorly named child.
"Jim and Lana are off for vacation, too, which is cutting it close with classes starting, but I never learned anything all that interesting in high school anyway, so go ahead and blow 'em off."
Cheer Camp?
"Oh, they're gonna love this in Cincinnati. I'm reporting on cheer camp. Where they....learn about knife throwing."
*loooooooooong pause*
*super hyper voice*
"God, I LOVE cheerleaders! Especially armed ones! There's pizza for lunch! How exciting! They incorporate ass-kicking into their routines! Oh, God, don't kill me, tiny hyper people! Who made cookies! Molly and Claire talk! Karal-in-Jack is freaking Molly out! River can read minds like Charlie! Buffy and Claire think cookies are good for breakfast! John Sheppard's a big slacker! So's Savannah! Z panics because she can't bake! If I keep talking like this, my head is going to explode!"
*chittering*
"Really, we're done? Okay! I guess I'll just sit around and wait for the lovely Vala to wake back up, apologize beautifully for the slight problem with the squirrels and have a date tomorrow night! Wish me luck, Fandom! This is Doctor Johnny Fever, babies, signing off!"
Shark Attack! - Giant Killer Shark: The Musical