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fandom_radio2007-06-09 01:38 am
spacepiratevala.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-06-09 01:38 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, Friday, June 8, 2007
"Hello, Fandom. This is Vala Mal Doran, and if I'm here reading the notes, it must be Friday. Also, in case anyone is wondering, I have registered for gifts online. www.target.com. That's Mal Doran--two words. Groom's name is Hades. H-A-D-E-S. Yes. There's a list, and there are many gifts in several available price ranges. You don't even have to find a store."
CLASSES: Where you can learn to lie, cheat and steal, but not for credit
"You'll all be delighted to know that the construction is continuing, today under Xander's watchful eye. He is also very clear that he doesn't want any mysterious smackings from Stark, Bel, or Conner. So, my question, Xander, is whether or not regular smackings are suitable. Alas, it seems that this question will never be answered. Bridge brings Xander burgers and fries for lunch and doesn't want him to ever leave. Oh, that's lovely. Unless he wants to leave, in which case it's vaguely disturbing and possibly illegal. The library was quiet, except for someone named Porthos visiting, and the cafeteria had chicken caesar salad, something called forgettable soup, and cookies. My future husband Hades--hello, dear, please remember that we're registered at www.target.com--has office hours and gets a gift--oh, yay, I love community property! Drax also stopped by to say hello, but he's not community property, dear. You can keep him all to yourself."
"Mechanics covers machines, and well, either that's very profound or they're making doilies. Is it bad that I don't know which is true? Also, I have registered for some lovely linens, towels and bath things at www.linensandthings.com. Bride's name is Vala Mal Doran, and the groom's name is Ares. A-R-E-S. Really, the shower curtains are quite pretty. Luke, apparently tired of doilies and drop cloths, tells Dean that his twin sister is coming to visit. How fun! Enjoy your visit, Luke! Flight and Flying learned to fly Naboo N-1 starfighters. The students get a practice run, and then they partner up and recreate the Battle of Naboo against droid fighters. Oooh, sounds like a laugh riot. Robin also had a question for Anakin. My notes--and please remember that these were written by alcohol-dependent squirrels--indicate that Anakin was particular cranky today. Is the man four? Who uses 'cranky' to describe an adult? Anyway, Aeryn told him to keep his issues to himself. Then, Luke told Anakin that someone named Leia was coming to visit."
"Can someone please tell me why Anakin should care? Did he date Leia? Did she leave him at the altar? What did you do with the gifts? Why does no one tell me these things?"
DORMS: The best thing you can say is 'Hey, they're not the cabins'
"Early this morning, Ami worried, drank green tea, and did calculus problems. Okay, Ami? You need to find something else to do with your time. Trust me, calculus will be outdated in twenty or thirty years anyway. Oh, this is better. Adam meets Ami, and finds out that she's hoping for regular classes like math and science. Then she tells him about alien abductions, turning into kids, and the arrival of potential children from the future. My, how...fun. Oh, baby supplies! That's what I forgot. I will be registering for baby gifts immediately after this broadcast. Mother's name, Vala Mal Doran. Father's name still to be determined."
"Molly and Karal went for a swoop bike ride. Hmmm. Isn't this the same pair who went horseback riding last week? I smell a romance brewing for our young priest. Ronan e-mails and helps Sheppard get over a hangover. Nice guy, that Ronan. And Sheppard, you went drinking and didn't invite me? Well, how downright appropriate of you. Two demerits. Or maybe a gold star. I'm not clear on this whole reward/punishment system yet. Annette sleeps in, good girl, Warren and his superhero costume hid in Mac's room and met Poe, and I have no idea if that's two students or one. Not that it bothers me, I'm just clarifying. Anders stopped by to check on Mac, and Luke's sister Leia that we've been hearing about all day finally arrives and isn't happy to see him. I wonder if that's because she found out her former fianceé is in town. Speaking of engagements, anyone wanting to buy me wedding shower gifts can also go to www.nordstrom.com. Bride's name Mal Doran, of course, and groom's name GOB Bluth. G-O-B B-L-U-T-H. I hope you're all writing this down."
"In other news, Johnny picks Savannah up for their date, Jim and Lana snuggle on the roof and he gives her a gift--Lana, don't let that boy out of your sight, he's what they call a 'keeper'--Chris looks through the Book of Shadows, which sounds very complicated to do, Dick and Annette make out after the fair, Tori reads some magazines, Karal, that wild man, looks out the window, Isabel does some e-mailing, and Robin leaves a note for Haku."
"Finally, on the roof of emo--ooh, fun place--Anders smokes some cigarettes. Bel joins him and they make plans to get together over the weekend. Aren't they already together? I'm a bit confused. Once he's done arranging his weekend, Anders helps Lana set up for her rooftop picnic with Jim. The roof? Oh, Lana. You'll never keep a gift-giving man if you don't take him anywhere better than the roof. And speaking of gifts, I am also registered for wedding gifts at www.amazon.com and www.macys.com. Last name Mal Doran, naturally. Groom's name...well, we'll get back to that. My last name should be enough. Oh, and Phoebe checks on Anders and makes sure he's alright after his flight workshop."
TOWN: Hotbed of activity and lasciviousness
"Or, you know, fort building. It's almost the same thing, right? Bridge showed up to help and Xander wanted to know if he knew the secret password. This is the time to fake it, Bridge. The clinic was quiet, so Christian practiced his golf. At Caritas, Tino wore a cowboy hat that GOB hated and it was apparently so bad that it scared everyone else away, because it was deader than the band. Ha! See what I did there? Aren't you impressed?"
"In further romantic news, Jaina and Donatello had a pizza date. Dawn, a very excited Mel, Sam, River, Molly, Door, Alec, and my teaching assistant all meet to travel to Scotland. Oh, and then the exciting part--the openings. Gabriel opens the church, Yitzhak opens Luke's Diner--shouldn't that be Yitzhak's Diner? Or does the diner belong to Luke who was waiting for Leia? So many questions. Melody opens Groovy Tunes, and actually has a customer--Ronan of the hangover cure from earlier. Apu opens Turtle and Canary, Aziraphale opens the Book Haven, Aiden opens her investigative agency, and Liz opens the post office.
FRIDAY EVENT: Renaissance Faire, where you all dress up to look like you belong on other planets
"Not that it matters, because it appears that most of you were at the renaissance faire, anyway. And in costumes no less. I just don't understand humans sometimes. There are booths for shopping, which I approve of. Just because someone hasn't registered at a booth is no reason not to give a gift. Express your creativity by shopping without a registry. Gifts to 18 Apocalypse Avenue. Annette tried to apologize to Turtle, but it didn't go well. Awww. Isabel and Charlie chatted about workshops, Stanley and Annette chatted about the dragon--I'm sorry, dragon?--and Stanley waved at Turtle."
"For those of you too lazy or uncreative to make your own entertainment, there were Punch and Judy, acrobats, jugglers, and fire breathers. There were also carnival games. Peter tried to win a prize and Isabel harassed him about his luck, Adam met Summer, Chad and Johnny discuss flag football and dating, Gavin gets confused by the games, but Inara found him and they discussed flight class. No word on if she helped clarify the games thing. Jude tried to win Rikku a monkey at whack-a-gremlin."
"There was also a magical maze, and Peter--no idea if it's the same one as before or not, sorry--tells Willow not to kill the dragon and then they kiss. Aravis wandered through the maze, but Seely found her and impressed her by being clothed. Low standards with the girls in this town, seriously. Annette and Dick go into the maze and Dick wants them to keep the costumes, and if you were paying attention, you know that they end up kissing later. Shawn and Summer went into the maze and I guess Summer kept Shawn from becoming dragon food. That was very nice of her, unless you're the dragon. Adam and Charlie also met in the maze. Rikku and Jude discussed the role of cabin boy, Pirate!Rikku asked Sokka if he was still a ninja, and then the squirrel made pirate noises. Ooookay. "
"For you more aggressive types, there were pugil sticks on pedestals. Sokka uses one to brain Stanley and I have no idea what that means, and then there are pugil sticks on the ground. No word on their condition, but I'll make sure to keep you updated. Robin hung with the minstrals, singing a song about Sir Robin that Sokka confused for a different song with a different Sir Robin. Hey, it could have been worse--guy could have been named Peter."
"As with any school-sponsored event that you expect people to actually show up to, there was food. Aravis and Peter agree that the country is insane. Try the planet, guys. Clinically insane, the lot of them. Peter congratulated Turtle on her awesome costumes, Johnny shares his turkey leg with Charlie, and then Isabel, and then he asks Isabel if all wenches like a roll in the hay. No report on Johnny's condition either, but again, I'll let you know as soon as the clinic workers fill me in. Prue and John discuss witches and his lack of special powers, Chad complimented Teddy's skirt, and to show his thanks, Teddy refused to kiss him. Hmmm. Seems like something got lost in translation there. Evie was impressed by Sokka's turkey leg--and why would that be dirty? Because the notes clarify and ohhhhhhh. I see now. There was a main stage to crown the king and queen, Ami and Setsuna discussed their clothing choices, and there was dancing, as enjoyed by Charlie and Johnny and a dragon. Who chats with Sokka, and our esteemed Dean would like you all to know that he could take the dragon by ripping off its big beefy arm and beating him with it. Aren't you all impressed? I know I'm all shivery."
"Anyway, that's all for tonight, folks! Please remember to shop early, shop often, and remember that price is no object!"
CLASSES: Where you can learn to lie, cheat and steal, but not for credit
"You'll all be delighted to know that the construction is continuing, today under Xander's watchful eye. He is also very clear that he doesn't want any mysterious smackings from Stark, Bel, or Conner. So, my question, Xander, is whether or not regular smackings are suitable. Alas, it seems that this question will never be answered. Bridge brings Xander burgers and fries for lunch and doesn't want him to ever leave. Oh, that's lovely. Unless he wants to leave, in which case it's vaguely disturbing and possibly illegal. The library was quiet, except for someone named Porthos visiting, and the cafeteria had chicken caesar salad, something called forgettable soup, and cookies. My future husband Hades--hello, dear, please remember that we're registered at www.target.com--has office hours and gets a gift--oh, yay, I love community property! Drax also stopped by to say hello, but he's not community property, dear. You can keep him all to yourself."
"Mechanics covers machines, and well, either that's very profound or they're making doilies. Is it bad that I don't know which is true? Also, I have registered for some lovely linens, towels and bath things at www.linensandthings.com. Bride's name is Vala Mal Doran, and the groom's name is Ares. A-R-E-S. Really, the shower curtains are quite pretty. Luke, apparently tired of doilies and drop cloths, tells Dean that his twin sister is coming to visit. How fun! Enjoy your visit, Luke! Flight and Flying learned to fly Naboo N-1 starfighters. The students get a practice run, and then they partner up and recreate the Battle of Naboo against droid fighters. Oooh, sounds like a laugh riot. Robin also had a question for Anakin. My notes--and please remember that these were written by alcohol-dependent squirrels--indicate that Anakin was particular cranky today. Is the man four? Who uses 'cranky' to describe an adult? Anyway, Aeryn told him to keep his issues to himself. Then, Luke told Anakin that someone named Leia was coming to visit."
"Can someone please tell me why Anakin should care? Did he date Leia? Did she leave him at the altar? What did you do with the gifts? Why does no one tell me these things?"
DORMS: The best thing you can say is 'Hey, they're not the cabins'
"Early this morning, Ami worried, drank green tea, and did calculus problems. Okay, Ami? You need to find something else to do with your time. Trust me, calculus will be outdated in twenty or thirty years anyway. Oh, this is better. Adam meets Ami, and finds out that she's hoping for regular classes like math and science. Then she tells him about alien abductions, turning into kids, and the arrival of potential children from the future. My, how...fun. Oh, baby supplies! That's what I forgot. I will be registering for baby gifts immediately after this broadcast. Mother's name, Vala Mal Doran. Father's name still to be determined."
"Molly and Karal went for a swoop bike ride. Hmmm. Isn't this the same pair who went horseback riding last week? I smell a romance brewing for our young priest. Ronan e-mails and helps Sheppard get over a hangover. Nice guy, that Ronan. And Sheppard, you went drinking and didn't invite me? Well, how downright appropriate of you. Two demerits. Or maybe a gold star. I'm not clear on this whole reward/punishment system yet. Annette sleeps in, good girl, Warren and his superhero costume hid in Mac's room and met Poe, and I have no idea if that's two students or one. Not that it bothers me, I'm just clarifying. Anders stopped by to check on Mac, and Luke's sister Leia that we've been hearing about all day finally arrives and isn't happy to see him. I wonder if that's because she found out her former fianceé is in town. Speaking of engagements, anyone wanting to buy me wedding shower gifts can also go to www.nordstrom.com. Bride's name Mal Doran, of course, and groom's name GOB Bluth. G-O-B B-L-U-T-H. I hope you're all writing this down."
"In other news, Johnny picks Savannah up for their date, Jim and Lana snuggle on the roof and he gives her a gift--Lana, don't let that boy out of your sight, he's what they call a 'keeper'--Chris looks through the Book of Shadows, which sounds very complicated to do, Dick and Annette make out after the fair, Tori reads some magazines, Karal, that wild man, looks out the window, Isabel does some e-mailing, and Robin leaves a note for Haku."
"Finally, on the roof of emo--ooh, fun place--Anders smokes some cigarettes. Bel joins him and they make plans to get together over the weekend. Aren't they already together? I'm a bit confused. Once he's done arranging his weekend, Anders helps Lana set up for her rooftop picnic with Jim. The roof? Oh, Lana. You'll never keep a gift-giving man if you don't take him anywhere better than the roof. And speaking of gifts, I am also registered for wedding gifts at www.amazon.com and www.macys.com. Last name Mal Doran, naturally. Groom's name...well, we'll get back to that. My last name should be enough. Oh, and Phoebe checks on Anders and makes sure he's alright after his flight workshop."
TOWN: Hotbed of activity and lasciviousness
"Or, you know, fort building. It's almost the same thing, right? Bridge showed up to help and Xander wanted to know if he knew the secret password. This is the time to fake it, Bridge. The clinic was quiet, so Christian practiced his golf. At Caritas, Tino wore a cowboy hat that GOB hated and it was apparently so bad that it scared everyone else away, because it was deader than the band. Ha! See what I did there? Aren't you impressed?"
"In further romantic news, Jaina and Donatello had a pizza date. Dawn, a very excited Mel, Sam, River, Molly, Door, Alec, and my teaching assistant all meet to travel to Scotland. Oh, and then the exciting part--the openings. Gabriel opens the church, Yitzhak opens Luke's Diner--shouldn't that be Yitzhak's Diner? Or does the diner belong to Luke who was waiting for Leia? So many questions. Melody opens Groovy Tunes, and actually has a customer--Ronan of the hangover cure from earlier. Apu opens Turtle and Canary, Aziraphale opens the Book Haven, Aiden opens her investigative agency, and Liz opens the post office.
FRIDAY EVENT: Renaissance Faire, where you all dress up to look like you belong on other planets
"Not that it matters, because it appears that most of you were at the renaissance faire, anyway. And in costumes no less. I just don't understand humans sometimes. There are booths for shopping, which I approve of. Just because someone hasn't registered at a booth is no reason not to give a gift. Express your creativity by shopping without a registry. Gifts to 18 Apocalypse Avenue. Annette tried to apologize to Turtle, but it didn't go well. Awww. Isabel and Charlie chatted about workshops, Stanley and Annette chatted about the dragon--I'm sorry, dragon?--and Stanley waved at Turtle."
"For those of you too lazy or uncreative to make your own entertainment, there were Punch and Judy, acrobats, jugglers, and fire breathers. There were also carnival games. Peter tried to win a prize and Isabel harassed him about his luck, Adam met Summer, Chad and Johnny discuss flag football and dating, Gavin gets confused by the games, but Inara found him and they discussed flight class. No word on if she helped clarify the games thing. Jude tried to win Rikku a monkey at whack-a-gremlin."
"There was also a magical maze, and Peter--no idea if it's the same one as before or not, sorry--tells Willow not to kill the dragon and then they kiss. Aravis wandered through the maze, but Seely found her and impressed her by being clothed. Low standards with the girls in this town, seriously. Annette and Dick go into the maze and Dick wants them to keep the costumes, and if you were paying attention, you know that they end up kissing later. Shawn and Summer went into the maze and I guess Summer kept Shawn from becoming dragon food. That was very nice of her, unless you're the dragon. Adam and Charlie also met in the maze. Rikku and Jude discussed the role of cabin boy, Pirate!Rikku asked Sokka if he was still a ninja, and then the squirrel made pirate noises. Ooookay. "
"For you more aggressive types, there were pugil sticks on pedestals. Sokka uses one to brain Stanley and I have no idea what that means, and then there are pugil sticks on the ground. No word on their condition, but I'll make sure to keep you updated. Robin hung with the minstrals, singing a song about Sir Robin that Sokka confused for a different song with a different Sir Robin. Hey, it could have been worse--guy could have been named Peter."
"As with any school-sponsored event that you expect people to actually show up to, there was food. Aravis and Peter agree that the country is insane. Try the planet, guys. Clinically insane, the lot of them. Peter congratulated Turtle on her awesome costumes, Johnny shares his turkey leg with Charlie, and then Isabel, and then he asks Isabel if all wenches like a roll in the hay. No report on Johnny's condition either, but again, I'll let you know as soon as the clinic workers fill me in. Prue and John discuss witches and his lack of special powers, Chad complimented Teddy's skirt, and to show his thanks, Teddy refused to kiss him. Hmmm. Seems like something got lost in translation there. Evie was impressed by Sokka's turkey leg--and why would that be dirty? Because the notes clarify and ohhhhhhh. I see now. There was a main stage to crown the king and queen, Ami and Setsuna discussed their clothing choices, and there was dancing, as enjoyed by Charlie and Johnny and a dragon. Who chats with Sokka, and our esteemed Dean would like you all to know that he could take the dragon by ripping off its big beefy arm and beating him with it. Aren't you all impressed? I know I'm all shivery."
"Anyway, that's all for tonight, folks! Please remember to shop early, shop often, and remember that price is no object!"
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"...Date? But. I. Oh man."
Head? Meet keyboard.
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