WTFH

This is the Hero of the Spaceways, Han Solo, welcoming you back to Fandom High! We got a great semester plotted and laid in. *sound of an engine warming up* Preflight’s run, let’s lift.

Our First Port of Call is the classrooms.

Classes aren’t in session yet, kids. Today’s big educational news was class sign ups Hope you got in early because the fun stuff went fast.

Oh, and Sara Sidle had office hours and Jenny stops by Eighth's office.

Meanwhile, Back in the Crew Quarters:

Phoebe Halliwell, Callisto and Marty all have StuCo election posters up. Didn't we just do this?

Angel has a poster too, for a Magic show at Caritas, which he's talking up to Crichton while playing with Sean. Then he talks to Janet about their little sibs. Good luck with that gig.

You're a chatty bunch. Guess it comes of the break.

In the Fourth Floor Common Room: Isabel and Cameron watch cartoons and talk. Angela comes by and talks about UFOs and their little sibs. That's going to be a popular topic. Right behind "what classes you got?" and "the new kids." And Yuffie patches Cam up.

Cam and Aeryn spar. Alanna's in the Gym too. Then Cam talks condoms with
Cally.

Ivanova & Lyta and Jack & Aeryn talk.

Janet, Harkness, Cam and Kiki find their little sibs. And boy is Harkness friendly.

Rory moves with help. The help later meets new kid Peter Parker.

Aeryn is sneaky. Paige is annoyed and dirty with Harkness. Jaye is tired after last night. And neither one of you swung by 402 to let me help...

Marty and Angela carry out that ferret threat that EVERYONE heard.

Lee has a Naked Slumber Party! And gang, soon as I set this headset down, I'm right back there.


Out in port:

Spike makes arrangements with Lilah before he leaves, and Darla finds out he's gone. Dru's emo in the park, because Spike's gone and Darla comes to visit. Sunshine's taken over the duck pond. Good, maybe he can get Snookums.

Justin's in the park, too with Lyta.

Angel and Ivanova shop at Wonka's.

At the Perk, Harkness and Rose bond. Sam got a call from Harkness and shows up and Isabel stops by.

The Brothers now own the pub.

Sara talks about her holidays with Aziraphale and Ivanova goes to the Emporium.

*hesitates* Aww Chewie, I told you to set the prof someplace safe before you left! Thanks for getting him, Phoebe.

Tex explains what happened to Red.

Caritas is hopping tonight.
GOB gives a magic show

Angel talks to a lot of people. Yuffie meets a lot of people. And Veronica, Cordy and Pippi sing which is what people DO in a karaoke bar.


On the Commboard:
Okay, the phones are very strange today from all I'm hearing. Everyone is getting everyone else's messages. So, um, anyone who got a message from me? Ah, hells, make of it what you want to.

I'll TRY to hit the high points. Talk to your friends. In person.

House has had it with the weirdness on his machine.

Xander's having a crisis of confidence, as everyone seems to think he's gay. Blair Sandburg is having much the same.

Lee Adama was on the phone all day, enjoying propositions, declarations of love and gross robot bodily functions. Not to mention the rest of us over for the nakedness.

Phoebe got the ferret sex message and had a long talk with Bel afterward.

Crichton's voice mail is full too, with everything from ferret sex, monkeys, naked slumber parties and more ferret sex. Crichton, buddy, are you running a petting zoo or what?

Harkness gets ferret sex fall-out, a couple propositions, discussion of his butt by the new principal, a routed one for Dr. Pierson, a couple refused dates and a Paige propositon, which he takes up.

Angel is getting voicemail too. Ferret-sex, an invitation from the principal, threats, rejections, love pledges, class suggestions and refusals of dates and invitations.

Angela is chasing her messages. She's the one for whom the ferret-sex was intended. Enjoy it, doll. She also gets poetry, rejection and Lee Adama in his underwear.

Cally is just getting ferret sex messages. Poor kid.

Dr. Grissom is getting told not to tape the sex--not even the ferret sex--or that with his little sister Pippi. Offers of money and lingerie come his way, as does the question of why House and Wilson feed him muffins. *sighs* Folks, I just read 'em, I don't write 'em.


Krycek got the usual ferret sex. Also, Cally in handcuffs, hired by Wonka, Lee Adama in his underwear and pizza.

Chiana was hired by Wonka's propositioned by Paige and told of secret love.

Bridge is getting calls about Ferret Sex, a refusal from Krycek, a call for help from his little sister, and a reprimand about the ferret sex.

Aeryn is deciding who to kill. Cam and Crow, looks like you're high on the lady's list.

Maia got called and came out of it a TA and got propositioned by Sawyer.

Janet made a bunch of calls but lost her temper over the ferret sex and TMI from the Doctor and Parker.

Quinn hit ultrasonic frequencies in her outrage over all the OMGWTF moments she says she's having.

Chloe suspects gremlins in the sudden declarations of affection and oversharing.

Anakin is afraid of his voicemail after it broke his brain several times and outed him and Rory as True Loves.

Draco is fed up with ferret sex.

Barbossa is having a good voicemail day.

Parker hates Alexander Graham Bell. She's not into posters, guess.

Jaye got too much ferret sex, but got into the spirit of it and made calls herself.

Rory is traumatized by Marty's ferret sex among other things.

Lindsey got warned and propositioned.

Piper is weirded and mad. Alanna, step clear for a few days.

Shep, pal, you didn't get me. But CJ got you.

Vala, like her clone Aeryn, is mad and confused. Cam, just a hint: candy, flowers and expensive jewelry.

Cam is having the usual: ferret sex, naked slumber parties and condoms.

Callisto is very confused. Gremlins, a couple propositions, and more confusion.

Dream was offered Celtic lit and got a couple settling-in messages.

Sam faced the horror of ferret sex and naked slumber parties. And confronted Jack about it.

Lana got some odd calls, and did the nice thing and called back.

There's a lot of Ferret Sex, naked partying, condoms, misdirected propositions and the new Principal is putting dents in the wall of his office.

Sydney and Nadia dress up. Looking good, ladies.

Isabel has many strange messages and decides to just take a walk instead of dealing with porn tapes and robots and gremlin spit.

Izzie feels sorry for herself.

Lyta returns the odd ferret-sex messages.

Jessica, despite leaving her bra somewhere, is very polite as she returns messages.

Nadia lost her temper over the ferret sex and other weirdness.

Walter gets asked out by Angel. Join the club, buddy.

Molly is so confused she flees straight to Kiki.

Yuffie can tell something is up, but that doesn't stop her calling back:

Victor calls back, like the rest of us should. It's the civilized thing, folks.

Nadia and Sydney plot revenge.

Jack Harkness is way too friendly to his little brother, Clark Kent.

Alphonse? Yep, perplexed by the messages.

Pippi wonders why Angel is calling her about ice hockey and tries to call her big brother.

Cordelia Chase gets and makes several calls. She ends up back in bed from exhaustion.

Voice mail has defeated
Mac with pizza and ferret sex.

Geoff Chaucer has nothing but propositions in his voice mail. Lucky man.

Attention please. Lorelei Gilmore-Danes is neither the police not into robot threesomes.

Darla? A message about being a Big brother.

The Doctor ends up knowing too much about Jack's sex life, which makes him think of CJ. So he calls her.

Professor Lyman is convinced the town is insane by his messages. Give us a couple weeks and it will all sound normal.

Strange calls for Mr. Phale and for Dr. Wilson.

Wonka hires too many people.

Jarod tries to ask Rose out, and is derailed by ferret sex and other stuff.





That's all they sent across my comm board folks.

Until next time, this is the Hero of the Spaceways saying "Clear Skies and Happy Landings. And watch out for the ferrets."


*sound of an engine going to lightspeed.*

This is the Hero of the Spaceways, Han Solo,
*feedback sends the clear alto echoing back and minor swearing is heard*
coming to you via the magic of StelNet to catch you up on all the latest at Fandom High. Ready to lift!

*sound of engine cranking up*

Our First Port of Call is the classrooms.
Ethics is picking their own discussion topics. Celtic Lit got a lot of reading assignments. In Physics Professor Sidle handed out study guides for the final. Damn, maybe cutting was a bad idea.

History has a special guest speaker and Speech watches Christmas cartoons. Why can't I get the easy classes, huh? The cake assignments?

Spider causes a panic in journalism class by announcing the projects are due. TONIGHT!

Beginning Math had their final today and Intermediate Math’s is next Wednesday.

Anthropology talks about the Leakys, who are anthropologists and not fluidics experts. Human Geography is studying for the final. Egyptian Archeology is talking about the Valley of the Queens. Sounds about right, since they did the Valley of the Kings yesterday.
Gardening learns about Permaculture. Any relation to permafrost or is it more like permacrete? Gym is still worrying about basketting their balls.

A side trip to Office hours:
The Doctor, Principal Bristow and Dr. Jackson are holding them.

In Study hall Paige writes poetry and Rogue gives CJ floating candy


That's all the system hopping for tonight.
Meanwhile, Back in the Crew Quarters:

There are Secret Santa Deliveries, whatever those are. And the other Santa is looking for his toasty. I don't write 'em folks, I just read 'em


There's Email, decorating and a surprise party for Boone.

Cam and Harkness work out in the gym. Then Vala shows up and it goes all private-like.

In the dorms a floating Rogue meets a chaps-wearing John Connor. I really don't want to know.

There's mass confusion in room 402 with Wes, Lana and Shep. I'm confused just reading the summary. Lana, honey, I so have to get back to being a boy for you if you're just going to confuse the others.

Says here Jessica and Broots want humans to help them with their Psych Assignment. Mainstock humans, only please.

Shep and Lana--and I suspect that's a couple names that are going to be paired a lot--look at the tree in the common room, and talk about the performance last night and Wicked. Anakin chats up his roommate. I'm hurt.

And, general sneakiness occurs.


Medikit:

Liz has an appointment at the clinic, but it's Angela who is sick. And Lee is all better. Which is nice for those of you who've missed his manly biceps flailing about.

Ted has company. Bridge and Anders patched it up.
Veronica drags Logan into the girls' bathroom. He escapes without forcible girliness.

ABC mechanics are open, so if you break a calculator, take it to 'em.


Crichton and Aeryn are cute after he makes Christmas lists, and Cam and Vala fight and then make up. Just get the mistletoe already, guys.


Out in port:

In Tex's shop, Crichton, Kawalsky and John Connor stop in. Tex scares them more than usual.

Deliveries for Ted, Grissom, Tara, Lorelai, Luke and Aziraphale

At the Emporium, Paige shops for Boone's party and our local scooter trash go chemical shopping.

Krycek interviews Anakin at the Perk. Gob performs at Caritas.

Anakin is all over town tonight, going to Luke's with his roomie Michael

That’s all they gave me tonight. Clear skies and happy landings from the Hero of the Spaceways, who will hopefully not be the Heroine of the Spaceways too much longer. *sound of an engine going to lightspeed*

Fandom, this is the Hero of the Spaceways, Han Solo, coming to you live from Deneb City Spaceport. We’ve had a busy day shopping here--Anakin, I got you a new banthabell--and we’re just about to head out for dinner, so let me catch you up before I go.

Looks like it’s been quiet around since I’ve been off world, what with our usual Port of Call, the classrooms, closed for the holidays.

Back in the Crew Quarters:

6 is interviewing Callisto to be his new roomie. Callisto, honey, you better find out if it comes with two bunks or a double.

Death had Lisa Cuddy over for a late Thanksgiving dinner. Excuse me if I check your pulse next time, darlin’, cause nothin good ever comes of eating with Death.

CallynAnders are being Cute. This time they’re putting together the frame of a Viper her da sent. Then the gremlins beat them to the test flight. Cally, doll, you get into any trouble with wiring, you know where to find me.

And there’s a game of Strip Triad in the second floor common room. I didn't get invited. Twelve hands and Cally’s won, but the gremlins stole the clothes. Looks like the gremlins win, kids.

House and Wilson are broody and romantic, which is what they do best. And Veronica helped Angel set up his voice mail. Talk about your slow news days, next we'll be talkin' about his hair-gel.


Out in port:

At Caritas:
Veronica got her work schedule set up and sings.

And the singing gym teacher, Mr. McLeod is flirting with the new psych teacher, Ms. Calendar. Better find out if she keeps eyeless dolls around before you get serious there.

Lorne and Ms. Calendar are talking about mutual friends. On an island this small, if you don’t know everyone, you ain’t trying.

At Spikes:
The crazy doll-lady, Drusilla, her pal Darla, and Tex have all stopped in. I wouldn’t take bets on it being a quiet drink, people.


That’s all they sent by StellNet. (Soft voice in the background) I got a dinner date, folks. Clear skies and happy landings from the Hero of the Spaceways. *sound of an engine going to lightspeed*