WTFH

In news that I'm sure will surprise no one, there are a lot of hungover squirrels in the station this morning. So let's see what happened yesterday.

*loud slamming of paper*

*chittering groans*

Nothing much happened at the School or in the Dorms, sounds about right. Over in Town, Gladio was doing new year prep at Atlas Gym, while Nell liked to watch.

Kitty was in charge of the New Year's Eve party at Caritas, and my notes have a...vigorous discussion about just how many lights there were, so I'm going to go with many. There was a little stage action from Gregorith, but most people were in the back room where the party proper was going on. Except Tino. But he doesn't count as people. In attendance were Kitty, obviously, as well as Clint, Rey and Adrian, Vi and Steph, Gregorith, Summer, Stark, Jaina, Liliana and Ignis, and Jon. And I assume they all got drenched with glitter at midnight, because that's how this island works.

I know this is a place where food just falls from the sky, but have you considered not eating the closet pancakes?

*chittering*

I don't know why I even asked. just...notes.

Finals week continued up at the School, with Space Pirates, Pirates In Spacebeing attacked by 'enemies', while in the Library Arden had to deal with pryomaniac gremlins and Gray telling her about Raiden's missing meat.

The Dorms were quiet, while in Town, Gray was anti-candle at Over Easy, while Adrian was pro-candle and pro-cookie at Pick Your Posion. Rey and Pam both got cookies, though only one of them also got kisses.

Stop trying to fight the lights, you're going to...

*chittering*

No, I'm not getting you loose. Maybe after the broadcast. It doesn't look like it's going to take very long.

Up at the School, Space Pirates, Pirates in Space watched a movie, while Health Education talked about getting enough sleep.

The Dorms continued to be quiet, and it looks like the Town was too, with Over Easy suddenly gaining an indoor ice-rink being the only thing of note.

*chittering*

Just because you asked to get paid in rum, I don't think anywhere else, even on this island, is going to accept it as payment.

*chittering*

I definitely am not going to trade you for it.

Moving on, the School saw Space Pirates, Pirates in Space download cars. Right. Meanwhile Health Education talked about luxury bones. Okay.

The Dorms were quiet, while in Town, there were holiday waffles at Over Easy, and horrifying noodles at Atlas Gym. Gregorith and Marc talked Park, and finally there was a Christmas tree up at the Devil's Nest, as well as Quinn not getting a drink.

These notes could have been an email. Or a text.

*chittering*

Just because I don't send them to you, doesn't mean I don't know how.

It was a quiet day yesterday, with the main things of note being classes up at the School. With Space Pirates, Pirates in Space having a movie day, again, and Health Education being stressed. They're just running a whole gamut of negative emotions.

Otherwise, nothing happened in the Dorms, while in Town, a barista was creeping on Jaina at the Perk.

*chittering*

Not talking about that. Are this many of you meant to be here?

*chittering*

Bringing the news from Fandom? where are your notes then?

*chittering*

Nothing happened. This conversation could have been an email.

*chittering*

Yes, I don't.

Any way, over here on Break, yesterday Morning saw mostly hangovers and and overnight room changes if Henry and Belle were any indication. Jaina attempted to have breakfast, in the lounge Flint and his tiny unicorn...not touching that, explained the dangers of hangover spiders to Henry, Cal and Arden explored the beach, Steve did yoga, Sabine and Anakin rode "X-JetBladez", and Liliana was today's yacht thief.

Meanwhile, Rey and Adrian decided the solution to their clothing woes was nudity. I can't blame them for good ideas.

In the Evening, Steve watched the gummi bear rain from his villa. Which isn't even the strangest sentence I've read on one of these broadcasts. Henry and Jon attended the Glow In The Dark Beach Party, and Flint went snorkelling. I assume his tiny unicorn was still with him.

Well, let's see what another glorious Wednesday brought us, shall we?

*chittering*

Surely you recognise sarcasm by now. If not, that certainly explains a few things.

Anyway, notes. Up at the School, Space Pirates, Pirates in Space stepped out for a spot of brunch and took the class along. Because apparently pirates brunch. Health Education educated the class on avoiding the clap and other such diseases, while in the Library, Arden was witness to a gremlin chorus line.

Dorms continued theor quiet streak, while in Town, Prompto wondered how he was going to be an octopus about this at Furnado, Gray was having an existential waffle crisis at Over Easy, Flint and Henry were on the Beach where Henry was handling FLint's sword and commenting on the curve of it, and since I don't have anything in here about public indecency charges, we can assume this was his literal sword, not his figurative one.

Finally, over at the Devil's Nest, Octavia was philosophical about TIny's pumpkin spice obsession.

And that's everything, unless the squirrels are planning on spri-

*sound of air displacing*

*outraged chittering*

*chittering*

*more chittering*

*even more impassioned chittering*

Oh, look, we're airing, we'll have to finish the civics lesson another time, Leroy. You are right, though, so give me my notes so I have help you with that whole thing.

Let's see, up at the School, the Space Pirate, Pirates in Space, actually did something on their boat in 'space' that apparently involved asteroids. In Health Education, Don told the class to wash their damned hands. While in the Library the gremlins were raving and Luma returned All The Books.

Up in the Dorms, Henry couldn't sleep so he was hanging around the Second Floor Common Room, which brought joy to the porg at least.

In Town, Gray was being 'Too Soon' at Over Easy, but Arden did approve of this week's waffle choice, at Pick Your Poison, Adrian and Boston were getting ready for Parent's Weekend, when Rey stopped in for kissing, as did Pam though apparently she got no kisses. Finally at Furnado, Prompto's child was very bird focused.

No, I don't need a furry lectern today. You can see I have thumbs, again.

*chittering*

Yes. It was very thoughtful to offer.

Up at the School, Space Pirates, Pirates in Space had a movie day, and apparently it was very important to not that they were watching a different movie this time. Health Education talked about vaccines and why you should get them, while in the Library, Arden went through pictures on her phone.

Over in the Dorms-

*excited porg noises*

Erasmus was in the Second Floor Common Room, trying to find something to watch and discovering about how food delivery works here. Luckily, Eleanor, Henry, Riri, and Luma, appeared out of the woodwork to help dispose of the food and discuss differences between where they all came from.

Over in Town, Adrian was coping with coffee at Pick Your Posion, Rey came by bearing pastries, Lydia also visited, and Pam tried to get in on that coffee action. At Over Easy, both Gray and Arden "besmirsched the honour" of the pumpkin spice latte, while at Wellspring Arms, Sabine had a 'murley' only in all caps with what I suspect are far too many added vowels and several exclamation marks. Things were their normal level of not-normal at the Trooper Station, which I suspect also included Steve's sandwich tossing.

I don't see why you needed me in even earlier than usual but, much as well get this over with. Hand over the notes.

*chittering*

No notes? None at all? Nothing of note happened around here yesterday?

*chittering*

Leroy, you have until I get out of this booth. I suggest you start running now.

Looks like it was a quiet day yesterday, with most of the activity being School related, Anakin moved Shenanigans over to the beach, mostly to trick passers-by into voluntolding. As for what they got voluntold into my notes just say 'YEET' in especially excited handwriting, and after the yeeting, Anakin had a nice conversation with Atton. Or at least one where they didn't get into a hair pulling fight.

Meanwhile, over in the Library, Arden was distracted by games on her phone.

Nothing much happened in the Dorms, while in Town, Adrian was in a mood at Pick Your Posion. A cleaning mood. Pamela, Rey, and Lydia all noticed this mood, so he must have been cleaning pretty thoroughly.

Let's get this over with, I have less than a day to find a seamstress.

In School news, Anakin took a break from his Shenangiansin favour of creating an impromptu waterpark, where he invited all the minglers to play. reports vary on how many people took him up on that.

Arden had to deal with pranks in the Library, but Gray was very glad to see she was no longer a bird.

Nothing for the Dorms, while in Town, Ignis was forcing his friends to help him burn off excess energy at the Creepy Mansion, but luckily Liliana saved them by turning back into a person and we can all guess what happened next, so, no, Leroy I did not need these drawings.

Quinn fed the chair pizza at the Infinite Consortium, a sentence I'm sure makes sense in a context I don't want to know, and at Pick You Poison, Harley was 'a mess'...

Do I even need this many quotes?

*chittering*

Journalistic integrity? Since when?

Harley was a 'a mess' at Pam who assured her it wasn't on her that Marc is "an idiot asshole who needs to deal with his toxic masculinity rather than play the martyr", also Adrian was naked and they all had icecream. I'm giving the porg your beat next week.

Finally, at Caritas, everything was coming up brandy, apparently. Raiden made his first visit in a while, also there were Rey, Atton, and Stark who was no longer a koala.

*chittering*

When have I ever cared about your hangovers?

*extremely loud dropping of notes*

Oops. How careless of me.

In School news, this weeks 'Shenanakins', yes, I see what you did there, involved mascot kickball on booze covered slip'n'slides and were 'the best ever'. In the squirrels' opinions, the voluntolds were a lot more ambivalent on the whole concept. But they tried.

Meanwhile in the Library, everything was a mess and Arden was a bird, these may or may not have been related facts, and were very confusing for Cal and Gray. Well, at least they're pretty.

Nothing much in the Dorms, while in Town, Quinn was at the Infinite Consortium, taking out her poor life choices on an innocent cursed mascot costume, while at Pick You Poison, Adrian was a pot of flowers, and Boston was discovering how useful thumbs are for horticultural purposes.

No.

*chittering*

We've had this discussion before.

*chittering*

It's not 'totally different' if you're 'just storing them'. No fireworks inside the station. If you really want to explode yourselves, do it outside. After you give me the notes.

Let's see, no classes of any kind up at the School, though it was a beach day in the Library, much to Cal and Gray's confusion when they came by to visit Arden.

The Dorms were quiet. Again. While in Town, Adrian was convinced he was being watched at Pick Your Poison, I'd suggest it was paranoia, but I do have all these notes about Rey trying to help him, and Lydia also making an appearance. Speaking of appearances, Raiden was all over the streets hanging up flyers for his new breakfast place. Finally, it was something of a mango theme at Caritas, though sadly, Tino was not a man gone. Summer texted, while Stark was glad Anakin had taken the week off, and Rey was asked for 'jello life choice opinions'.

*muffled explosions*

Outside the station, not outside the booth.

*sounds of porgly excitement and also fireworks*

Not inside! Who even gave those to you? How did you set them off without thumbs? Why am I even trying to understand this?

At least you didn't set the notes on fire. Or anything else considering the fumes.

Up at the School, the Library was decorated for Halloween, confusing both Gray and everyone listening.

Meanwhile Shenanigans involved a greasy pole, and free Moobyland as s prize, truly a puzzle as to which was the worse option. Though for some bizarre reason one of the Steves was in the stands and very sad about missing out, the voluntolds prepared themselves, and not even the horrors were enough to stop the inevitable flirting. And then there was the Pole, were only a few, namely Jaina, Eleanor, non sad Steve, and Vi, made it across to claim their dubious prize, though Lydia did get a pair of water wings out of it. Not that I have any idea what they are, but I'm assuming they also lack basic dignity. Also, Belle did not hug Anakin.

Over in the Dorms, put that firework down, or rather just outside them Lydia's walk of shame crossed pasths with Charlie's walk of no shame. Good for them, I guess.

In Town, Pick Your Poison was decorated for Christmas, just to spread the confusion around. Rey offered to help Adrian undecorate, while Lydia wanted henbane for 'non poison reasons', and why do I have a random parchment that reads 'don't eat the nutbread, not even once' mixed in here? Prompto gave his child a camera at Furnado. Harley did her washing and Mark was there. Everything was butterfly themed at Caritas, including the singing. Rey appreciated the colours, Atton was there, Stewart did not bring suspicious brownies or dubious nutbread, but Stark did bring cupcakes.

No.

*thud*

*chittering*

No. Notes. Now.

Up at the School, Arden napped in the Library while Cal tried not to wake her. Which could have been cute or creepy.

Anakin inflicted rubber chicken tag upon Shenanagins, again. The minglers mingled, while amongst the voluntolds, Kitty felt personally attacked, even though she got picked to hit people with pool noodles, Vi explained her case of deja vu to Flint before flirting with Steph, giving me deja vu, Isabela explained how it was a sex thing to Sam, as you do, while Ignis and Flint considered their lost dignity. And then everyone ran around with rubber chickens on their feet trying to avoid getting smacked with pool noodles. As you do.

AS usual, nothing happened in the Dorms, while in Town, Adrian dealt with an aggressive phone caller at Pick Your Poison while Pamela suggested violence as the solution. Over at Caritas, there were all the limes. All of them, Stark was impressed by tiny pies, while Atton judged the limes, which I guess clears up the zombie clone question.

...you're not Leroy.

*chittering*

No, I don't want to know, and I'm certain we're all better off that way.

Let's see, it's a break week, so the only thing happening at the School was Arden being 'creepily cheerful' in the Library and getting waffles from Gray.

The Dorms were still quiet, while in Town, Furnado was very much not. Weird snacks took over the Movie Theatre, while it was Date Night at the boarding house. The Devil's Nest was full of mystery booze, while Caritas was full of denim. The answer to that mystery was, as always, Tino. Rey had many questions, Stark was fine, and Raiden was focused on breakfast.

And look what a pleasant experience this was without Leroy.

I'd ask why Leroy is pickling himself in a bucket of rum, but I don't actually care.

Up at the School, Introduction to Palaeontology went fossil hunting, 2 Baking 2 American went festive, and Bettering Your Community went littering. Arden was on her phone in the Library and got a visit from "pizza!".

The Dorms continued the trend of being quiet, while in Town, Summer was not a squirrel at Caritas. Ah. Rey came by to talk insurance fraud, Summer did more texting, and judging by the general incoherence of these notes, Stark was also there.

Looks like it was another quiet day.

*chittering*

I can find something to complain about if you keep going, Leroy.

Let's see...up at the School, Introduction to Palaeontology found their backbones, Bake-Off But American found out who could cut the custard, and Bettering Yourself took a nap. Things were well-behaved in the Library, except for all the makeouts.

The Dorms continued to be deserted, while in Town, Octavia tided up at the Devil's Nest, while at Caritas, both Summer and Stark somehow resisted the delights Tino had on offer. Somehow.

What are you...actually, no, I don't want to know what all the handkerchiefs and butter knives are for.

Up at the School, Introduction to Palaeontology had a fossil field trip, Not Bake-Off went Irish, and Building Better Communities went dog-walking, while the Library didn't go anywhere, but there was storytime.

Nothing happened in the Dorms, while in Town, thing were twitchy at the Devil's Nest, and green at Caritas, not that this was off-putting to Stark, Liliana, or Ignis.

Why are you here?

*chittering*

Yes, I figured that much, but why in my shower specifically.

*chittering*

Fair. She is scarier, and that's highly attractive. At least tell me the notes are waterproof.

*chittering*

Sometimes I don't even know why I try. Let's see. Looks like nothing much happened back on the Island, while over here on Break, the morning kicked off with various actives around the hotel, like Kitty getting breakfast, Summer enjoying the spa, and Vi and Steph doing beach. Further afield, Arden, Graham, Charlie, and Belle had adventures at the Eco-Park, while Eleanor and Surreal enjoyed nature at the Gardens.

*chittering*

Because I don't enjoy nature. Rey explored Holetown and I am not dignifying anything else written here, while Cutter and Connor tried one of the non-hotel restaurants.

Later in the evening, pretty much the only thng of note was Summer's room party, though Arden and Cal, and Liliana and Ignis both enjoyed private rendezvous elsewheres. Amongst the people showing up for Summer's Party were Stewart, Rey, Gladio and Nell, Stark, Ignis and Liliana putting in a appearance before their date, Steve, and Jon, and it can be assumed at all kinds of jello based debauchery took place.

I'm not going to ask what has been happening in here, because I don't want to know, I'm just going to be vary glad I can deliver this broadcast standing up and not touching anything.

*chittering*

I said I don't want to know.

Up at the School, Tony was absent from No Brit, No Bake probably because theme of the week was marzipan and jello molds. Bettering Your Community was cancelled, while in the Library, Arden had to deal with kissing books, Gray's fake ID problems and Cal being a eunuch.

The Dorms were still quiet, while in Town, Tony brought Steve a large sausage, which certainly beats the jello horrors. The Devil's Nest had dirty ice cubes and a shirtless Eric, but all the action was at Caritas, where Summer had a spray bottle and Navaan made an appearance. So even beyond the general flirting of everyone with everyone, just assume that everything I'm about say has the phrase 'and Navaan hit on them' repeated after it. So let's see, Stark was confident, Sabine commented on double entendres or the lack thereof, Percy wore a mask and needed a straw, Harley was...bouncy, Liliana was smug, and Arthur was confused about whether Navaan needed saving or not.

No, Leroy, we are not having a rum tasting. Or anything involving rum. Or squirrel, ideally.

Up at the School, Intro to Palaeontology explained that the Earth is 'old as balls', while the Not-British Bake-Off was all about cookies, except for where it was about bread, and Better Your Community had to clean up gremlin porridge.

The Dorms continued lack of activity makes the intern, while in Town, Lucifer showed off his renovations, while the cotton candy machine at Caritas was gone, possibly to Lucifer's basement. Summer assured Stark that she was Totally Fine about this.

Well, I guess it's time for another wonderful semester of reporting. I know it's the highlight of my week.

*chittering*

No.

Up at the School, it's introduction week, so Introduction to Palentology did introductions. The Great British Bakeoff, But American, and I am not saying that every week, chose cakes of varying quality over introductions, while it was back to introductions for Bettering Your Community and Yourself, and Liliana dropped by, I assume to explain that she wasn't in the class because she's already perfect.

Arden was cold in the Library-

*chittering*

Fine. The Librrr-ary, now you can all deal with that pun. Kamala and Gray both stopped in and agreed it was very cold indeed.

The Dorms were quiet, while over in Town, it was date night for Watts and Steven, while over at Caritas, Tino had already abandoned his resolutions. Shocking. Rey was having a quiet start to the year, Percy had ingot trouble, and Stark caught Summer up on his classes.

*overly cheerful chittering*

Given the smell, I'm just going to assume you started drinking after yesterday's broadcast and just haven't stopped.

Nothing at the School or the Dorms because it's break week, and several of the big midwinter holidays are going on, so most people weren't even on the island.

Town was also fairly quiet, with the Fair in the Park mostly being attended by Jon getting his drink on. Nell and Gladio stayed in, as did, Cala and Arden, and one of the Stevens and Watts.

And that's what a rum-soaked squirrel dragged me out of bed for.