WTFH

"...really think the microphone is on. If it was, the little light would be - oh there it is. Hello! I'm the Doctor, which you probably knew. Saturday night, and all. At least I think it's Saturday. The squirrels could be lying, but at least they're squirrels again. Squirrels who report on the intricate details of everyone's lives is one thing, but grown men and women who report on the intricate details of everyone's lives is incredibly creepy. Well, outside Los Angeles and London.

( Let's see what we have here. )

"Hello Fandom! The Doctor here. Yes, another Saturday night. Well, not like last Saturday night. Was a bit busy. There was a thing. Well, four things. Well, four things and a lizard. It's strange how often that happens. But I'm back and I'm here and I'm reading notes given to me by squirrels with notepads, pens and fedoras.

( Aww no more turkey )

The Doctor: "Hello again! Here I am, right on time. You'd think the whole 'being on time' thing would happen more often, but it doesn't. The squirrels that are here tell me that there are squirrels at a wedding somewhere else, and it's newsworthy, so you'll get local news from me and wedding news from someone who probably doesn't have dress sense as good as mine. Off we go!

( Now with 100% more wedding coverage! )

The Doctor: "Oh, is it Saturday again? Must be, because I'm the Doctor, this is WTFH radio and squirrels are the bane of the universe. Yeah, you heard me. Oh, don't protest, you know it's true. I could be on Raxacoricofallapatorious and you'd find me with those notes on a Saturday night. Alright, come on. I have a soft spot for squirrels. Allons-y!

( Parents Weekend 2008 )

"A microphone! Brilliant! I can use this to broadcast to my love that I'm coming for her. DON'T WORRY ROSE. THE DOCTOR'S COMING. Then we can get married and you'll be Mrs Rose The Doctor and everything will be fine!

The squirrels have told me that I have to narrate today's events as part of the unlocking mechanism so I can use the radio equipment to pinpoint Rose's location."

*chitter* *THUD*

"Those are the notes? That's note a few pages of notes. It's a novella verging on the edge of being a novel! But for Rose, I must. I must go on. I know I can do this. I'm the Doctor."

( Previously, on Fandom High )

Stay tuned tomorrow for more drama, passion and intrigue from Fandom High, Fandom High Dorms, Fandom Town and Fandom Town Emergency Clinic and, from the creators of all of the above, keep an ear out for all new trials and tribulations from the all-new Fandom Junk Yard, coming to a radio near you.

This is the Doctor, saying goodnight Fandom, and Rose, if you can hear me, THE DOCTOR IS COMING FOR YOU."


[OOC: I'm now dead from code, but don't worry, my evil twin will be back next week.]

"Look at me, having a routine and everything. Anyone would think I'm settling down. Bah, not me. I'm not the settling down type. But since I'm here, might as well see what you lot have been up to.

( Just another lazy Saturday )

"What's this then?"

*chitter*

"Yes, I can see it's a radio booth, but what are we doing here? You said you needed me for something vitally important. At least I think that's what you said. You weren't saying something about acorns and the mambo, were you?"

*chitter*

"Ohhh. I don't know, I'm not much for broadcasting. Well, there was that one time, okay a few, but they were for very good reasons, like freeing the people of New Earth and that one time because I was very, very bored."

*chitter*

"Well when you put it that way. Is that light meant to be on? Oh right. Hello, Fandom! This is the Doctor. Who are we broadcasting for? Right. WTFH radio and does anyone smell rum? I swear this place smells like rum. Hang on a second. Yep, even the desk here tastes like rum. I just tried it. Old school rum, not any of the new flashy stuff. There are notes? I can't just talk about my day or play some music? Could get some Britney Spears out.

( Okay, you're the boss. )

That's it! I'm the Doctor, you've been listening to WTFH radio, I'm off to get some ice cream - no, not rum and raisin - and will leave the rum-swilling to the squirrels. Here, have some music."


Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know that something wasn't right here?