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fandom_radio2007-04-17 07:03 pm
mouthy-merc.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-04-17 07:03 pm
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Fandom Radio, Tuesday, April 17
Deadpool: "Welcome to the radio tonight folks, we have a special guest tonight. Everyone, welcome Doctor... What is your name?"
The Doctor: "The Doctor. Definite article, capital letters, the lot."
Deadpool: "Neato! Now we have to make this quick, I got Kid to go down for a nap and she could wake up at any time and run off to get in another fight. She makes me so proud sometimes."
School
The Doctor: "Well, mustn't let that happen! Here we go. In the wonderful world of academics, Advanced Tactics had their final. Not to be confused with my own class, which has another word in the title. Superheroing 101 fights Electromino. I think I may have actually met him. Funny fellow, speaks with a lisp, from Arcturus Five? Possibly not him. Students team up to save a hospital, a fine achievement for the day. Little Walter, Leon, and Yukio all play with glitter. I... don't think I've met them. May Anarchy and Racky attempt to play superhero with Vendetta, as opposed to Umberta, who merely makes faces. Pippi tells Captain Liberty she's leaving school early, and best wishes to you, Miss Longstocking, and then Will asks for tips on saving teal deer kidnapping victims. That is what the notes say. Honest to Rassilon."
Deadpool: "It's a useful skill. You never know when you'll go out drinking with your buddies and then BAM. Get attacked by fiendish deer. Teal ones at that, so it might be due to some sort of drug trip. Will? No more drugs."
The Doctor: "Driver's Ed has a blow-off day, where they play with cars. Z flails about losing one of her kids, and I do hope you found them, as a lost child is a horrible thing. Yondaime grabs Karyuu from my co-host, Orden attempts to prove to Kid, that's a definite article there, capital K, about how cool he is. Isn't that nice? Oh, and my co-host showed off his two kids to Rikku. Wait until you get grandkids. Now those are fantastic!"
Deadpool: "Please don't talk about that. Kid is never getting married or even looking at a boy. Ever. I know what they all want and they're not gonna get it from her!"
The Doctor: "Joanie and Thomas lead a revolting class about paintball. I fully agree with that sentiment, as playing with guns merely gives people horrible ideas. Guns are bad, right students of Fandom?"
Deadpool: "...But guns are nice!"
The Doctor: "I very much disagree. Joanie tells Bel and Anders to make out. In class? That's highly inappropriate. Then Bel arms Catie and encourages shooting her mom. I'll have a word with you about encouraging matricide, Mister Belthazor. D'Argo wants a gun, as he is his mother's son, apparently. What are parents teaching their kids today? Lysander doesn't think Aeryn looks like she ought to. Maybe she's having a bad hair day?"
Deadpool: "Maybe she had a lot of plastic surgery. Like, the 6 Million Dollar Man a lot of plastic surgery."
The Doctor: "So she makes that 'nuhnuhnuhnuhnuh' noise whenever she does anything dramatic? Eddie and Lou get permission from their parents to play. Well, that's good of them. Alexandria has powers to use instead of guns, and my mentoree Marco flails about shooting kids. If you actually shot kids, Marco, I'll be having a word with you, too. The class descended into mass chaos and paintball fire. This is me, giving you all a disapproving look. Be thankful this is radio."
Deadpool: "It's very disapproving. I even feel guilty about stuff I didn't do!"
The Doctor: "Aly, hello out there, Aly, arrived late. Kawalsky tattled on her children, but that's alright in this instance, as they deserved it for instigating such a menace. Bronwyn questions Aly's right to be big. That's... rather adorable, that is. Crichton asks Aly to babysit Umberta, for what purposes, I cannot discern."
Deadpool: "Because he wants to get revenge on her for something? Maybe the fact that the kid got named Umberta. What is that all about?
The Doctor: "Horrible parents, that's what. Finally, in the land of classes, we have Computer Science where they ask what people would want in a robot. Me, I prefer my robotics in the form of a faithful dog. Jade crashed the course, looking for a computer. One would probably guess she found one, given the course name, and all."
Deadpool: "Unless it's more about science than computers, you never know."
The Doctor: "Nice green chap, Lorne, he had story time for the kiddies. Trudi wanted a song, and MaryBeth discovered her Aunt Molly. Trudi got her song, and it's about bears. Lots of good songs about bears, really. Not content with one song, MaryBeth wants one of her own. Benjamin wanted a story with... content not suitable for children, while OJ wanted a story with lightsabers. Bailey wanted a song that combines Cole Porter with... They Must Be Gigantic?"
Deadpool: "They're a fun band. Taught me all about Turkish geography."
The Doctor: "Billy brought his kids, as did Luna. This inspired Catie to sing. Always fun, singing. John Winchester had office hours with his kids. Anakin has office hours and Molly, Aeryn, Charlie, Rory all came in with kids, as well as more than a few kids all on their lonesome, which officially makes all of you who let your small kids wander alone horrible parents. There, I said it. You probably didn't want to hear it, but there you are."
Deadpool: "Kids wander! It's what they do! Um... not to say mine did. Ever."
The Doctor: "Aly got soaked in her office, where Yondaime and Karyuu stopped by. Dr. Wilson, also a good chap, had office visits from Blue, Tori and Aiden, Bailey and Nadia, Sebastian, Pandora, and Aziraphale. The office, definite article again but no capital letter, that was open. Aziraphale had office hours with visits from Sebastian and Annette, and then later he gave Wilson flowers for his birthday. Happy Birthday, Doctor Wilson. Many happy returns and all that!"
Deadpool: "Happy birthday Dr. Not Me!"
The Doctor: "Dueling Club mingled, and also had teeter totters, slides, swings, a ball pit, a moonwalk, a large inflatable Bitterwoman, refreshments, and Doctor Orpheus. Young Capitalist Indoctrination, I mean Entrepreneurs, they met as well and made glitter, and you could also talk to my co-host or my co-host's children."
Deadpool: "Ohhhh. So that's where she wandered off to."
The Doctor: "Alpha Beta Gremlin had arts and crafts and pictures. And in news of the library, Sam Winchester was your young library helper of the day. Sam valiantly defended special collections from Maggie invasion, fending her off with directions to fairy tales. Emily de-shelves books, and doesn't put them back properly. For shame. Marcie and Emily team up to look through books, and Angela and Sam discuss their future theoretical children. Ah, time anomalies. Aren't they grand?"
Deadpool: "Not when they're obnoxious and Christ-figure like."
The Doctor: "Never really had a problem with those, me. Mia accuses Sam of being a poster as he's not wearing red. I don't know how not wearing read makes you a nearly two dimensional wall adornment, but that's children for you. At lunch, Sam did not say grace, but he was visited by Grace."
Dorms
Deadpool: "Which is really better than saying grace. Gwynn with a y and two n's people watched in the fourth floor common room. She then met her spawn, Mia, who looks juuuuust like here and doesn't know what soccerfootball is. Poor kid. Its a fun sport. Dickweed and son of Dickweed meet Gwynn with a ya and two n's and then shoot each other."
The Doctor: "And people wonder about violence in children. Do we notice the trend of horrible parenting?"
Deadpool: "No, no. Horrible parenting would be the parents shooting the kids. Jack woke up with children all over him. Which is... weird and kinda cute, not going to lie about it. Phoebe, Bel and Anders also woke up covered with children. That must be a large and sturdy bed. Continuing the trend
Jim and Lana woke up with Maggie, and there's tickling. Hopefully of the non-naughty kind. Willow and Susie surprised English Peter and Alex with breakfast. Why didn't I get breakfast in bed, huh? Arashi? Tex? I'm looking at you two."
The Doctor: "I haven't had breakfast in bed in years. Well, at least, not breakfast I didn't make myself. Handy things, portable cooking appliances."
Deadpool: "Minion Turtle poked at an egg baby. Not a real baby, right? Marie took Andy to visit Dr. Not Me and the guy who I still think hit on me. Madrox tried to put down the director of S.H.E.I.L.D. for a nap. Silly mutant, naps are for non-directors of government agencies. Unless you're Tony Stark, then it'll be a nice drunken nap. Bayla, daughter of Lil' Minion answered a phone call for Jude. D'Anna woke up childless and alone. Buy some cats?"
The Doctor: "But remember, your sanity quotient goes down with each and every cat you own. So why not go mad now, and get yourself six!"
Deadpool: "By that logic, I should be the crazy cat lady of Fandom. Jake Harkness came back to the room just before Jack got there and tried to play innocent. It did not work. Better luck next time. Madrox abandoned Nick Fury to go hand out with Marie and her kid. Annette napped and Sebastian met Dick and there was a confrontation of some sort. Summer told Marissa why she was named after he bee eff eff. The Shawn came by, and Marissa and Devon got possessive of their respective daddies"
The Doctor: "That's endearing, that is. Little kids, being all cute. I really can't believe I missed all this. Very not fantastic, really."
Deadpool: "Cameron told Marybeth a bedtime story.
John and D'Argo surprised Aeryn for her birthday. Then D'Argo told them that maybe they should, you know, find the place he came from. Is it time for the talk? Anders, continuing the funny name trend, brought Artemis and Pandora back from class. Bel brought Melinda and Samantha and Patience by, and Patience said that her mom's not a huge Bel fan. So, no autographs? River got talked at to by Ananda and Tributary. Ha! Tributary. Cute."
The Doctor: "Why not just name her Brook?"
Deadpool: "Too easy. Will punched teal deer to save Valentine. Good. Damn good for nothing deer. Jack told Sam that Jake is in the shower because of food mishaps. They happen to the best of us. Cedric brought Aiden by, and then Jake, Sam and Cedric figured they should take the kids back.
Pip sent an E-mail saying he's leaving. Not my giant one-eyed merc buddy! MERC BUDDIES!"
The Doctor: "For those of you at home, I just rolled my eyes. Fifth Floor Common Room was home to Pippi making dinner while her children rode Old Man. Don't worry, there wasn't elderly person abuse. For those not in the know, that's the name of Pippi's horse. Pippi and Walter talk about leaving and keeping in touch. Good thing to do, really. Tributary also got a ride on Old Man. Then, much later, the roof is home to Billy and Ami and their angst. I refuse to call it emo. Horrible word."
Town
Deadpool: "Mispronounce it then. Much more fun that way. E-moooo. See? Rosette, Chrono, Dickweed and son of Dickweed had a Nerf battle in the park. Some kid named Guu let son of Dickweed hit her with a Nerf weapon and then played dead. That won't make him leave you alone Guu, I'm sorry. Tori, our favorite stripper studied for finals while Aiden colored at Book Haven, which is a much better name than that Aeropostal one. Ami, the girl my minion is not having a lesbian affair with showed up with Akira, who played with Aiden. I though Akira was a movie. Huh."
The Doctor: "You're thinking of that director. The one who did 'Ikiru'."
Deadpool: "I love that movie! Son of Dickweed showed up, looking for books and demons. Is reading your demon? They have learning centers for that. My minion, Setsuna who is heterosexual, despite recent evidence, hid from her child but talked to the movie Akira. She then insulted son of Dickweed. Good job! The stripper introduced Setsuna to Aiden, who is not a movie."
The Doctor: "There's a student who's a stripper? Isn't that a federal crime?"
Deadpool: "Welcome to Fandom! Where there are strippers and boykissy. I wish there were more strippers though. Nubile Young Avenger, Hulkling opened Sparky Repairs with someone named Yukio in tow. Then Agatha warned him to not let Yukio break anything. Cally! Lesbian buddy! She brought Perfectly in to meet Teddy and met Yukio. Gigante and the kid who flirted with my baby girl stopped by to see Teddy too."
The Doctor: "Gigante? Sounds like a luchador."
Deadpool: "He ought to be. Giles, my favorite limey, opened the Magic Box with his two kids. Xander, whose name still sounds like that of an X-Men, brought Bronwyn with a y and talked to Giles about his kids. Brain breaking ensued. Dawn showed up with Maggie to meet Giles and Bronwyn with a y. Peri snuck away from his mom there to find a wand. Okay then."
The Doctor: "Peri? If she was obnoxious, American, and into botany, I'm very glad I didn't run into her."
Deadpool: "...kay. Dickweed, Tori, Annette & Rosette had a picnic on the beach with all their kids. Son of Dickweed, Aiden and Sebastian played frisbee. Which is fun and, yeah no. Stripper Tori introduced Aiden to Dickweed. Ah, strippers. That makes this more exciting. Rosette freaked out over the whole family bonding experience. Annette and Dickweedtalked about swimsuits, which is both odd and very girly. Annette told Tori that Sebastian wanted her to teach him how to be a stripper. Or surf. One of those two. Probably the latter, but you never know. Dean Not a Gun took his sons to Fast Eddies to play pool and eat junk food. Thus making him the most AWESOME DAD EVER."
The Doctor: "If you say so. Again, for those at home, an eyeroll."
Deadpool: "The Devil's Nest was open tonight, seeing business from a drunk nun who talked about having kids with Cotton Candy. And also That creepy TA of Arashi's who just hung out in the lounge. Probably being creepy."
The Doctor: "Seems unhealthy, that. Over at the clinic this evening, Dr. Wilson nibbled on cookies. Pippi and Leon and Little Walter all came to wish him a happy birthday, and then Wilson and Aziraphale shared a bit of dinner. Rather nice, really."
The Doctor: "At Caritas, Dick's child suggests he should, quote, 'stick with dudes'. Interesting. Tommy and Ana did the karaoke thing, and then later Ana asked Ryan about dancing places. Billy was doing the fatherly thing, and Annette was doing the motherly thing. And in the lounge, there were kids dancing. Isn't that sweet?"
Deadpool: "Yeah, yeah. Dancing kids. Terribly cute."
The Doctor: "If you insist. Oh, a vortex opened in town! How come no one told me? I love vortexes, me. And now... apparently everyone sent their future theoretical children into it. Did anyone check the vortex first? There could be anything on the other side! A universe without shrimp, 1960's Berlin, Jonathan Swift with a sausage grinder, anything! It's a good thing you all were saying goodbye, wasn't it? The adieus included River and Blair bidding farewell to Tributary, Dick telling Ryan to give his mom hell, Ananda bids River goodbye, Annette see Sebastian off, Billy is tickled goodbye by Tommy and Ana, Willow sees off her kids and meets Tommy and Ana in time to say goodbye, and does likewise with Anders' Artemis and Pandora. Aiden tells Tori not to cry as he goes, Pip and Pippi bid Leon and Walter adieu, Gu says fare thee well to Nova, Ami says goodbye to Akira, Umberta leaves John with insults, Naomi says goodbye to Sabrina, Cally and Mac see Perfectly off. Wait... Perfectly? Who would be so horrible as to name a kid Perfectly?"
Deadpool: "The adorable lesbians it would seem."
The Doctor: "You seem to have a sapphic fixation, do you know that? Isabel and Jack, and I can only imagine how many theoretical kids Jack Harkness had around, let me tell you, they said goodbye to Alexandria. Parker says a goodbye to each of her kids, and makes sure they have everything before they go. Aly and Josh say goodbye to Thomas and Joanie, and instruct them to protect each other. John and Aeryn see off D'Argo, again with the horrible naming, and Anakin and Molly say goodbye to Trudi. You want to pick up from there, my red-suited friend?"
Deadpool: "Summer, Shawn and Chris saw Devon, Matthew, and Marissa off. Rikku and Jude said goodbye to Bayla. Bel, Phoebe and Anders said goodbye to their massive broode. Lana and Jim said goodbye to Maggie. Isabel and Greg saw Josh off. River stood quietly by the vortex after her kids were gone. Pippi and Pip were sad and they discussed future plans. Tori cried as she held the frame Aiden made for her. Naomi cried a little too. Ami was sad. Aeryn and John consoled each other. And Billy left quickly to compose himself."
The Doctor: "In the form of a ballad, you think? Sorry, couldn't resist the pun."
Deadpool: "Puns are bad. Make me want to find my guns bad. For shame Doctor, for shame."
The Doctor: "Don't make me use my sonic screwdriver on you."
Deadpool: "Is that some sort of innuendo? Because contrary to any unsavoury rumors about myself and a certain ninja, I don't swing that way."
The Doctor: "It's a screwdriver. It's sonic. Sonic. Screwdriver. Simple concept, yes? Nothing dirty about it."
Deadpool: "Does it have lasers?"
The Doctor: "Why would a sonic screwdriver have lasers? It's not a laser screwdriver!"
Deadpool: "Well maybe it should be! And on that note, we bid you all adieu!"
The Doctor: "The Doctor. Definite article, capital letters, the lot."
Deadpool: "Neato! Now we have to make this quick, I got Kid to go down for a nap and she could wake up at any time and run off to get in another fight. She makes me so proud sometimes."
School
The Doctor: "Well, mustn't let that happen! Here we go. In the wonderful world of academics, Advanced Tactics had their final. Not to be confused with my own class, which has another word in the title. Superheroing 101 fights Electromino. I think I may have actually met him. Funny fellow, speaks with a lisp, from Arcturus Five? Possibly not him. Students team up to save a hospital, a fine achievement for the day. Little Walter, Leon, and Yukio all play with glitter. I... don't think I've met them. May Anarchy and Racky attempt to play superhero with Vendetta, as opposed to Umberta, who merely makes faces. Pippi tells Captain Liberty she's leaving school early, and best wishes to you, Miss Longstocking, and then Will asks for tips on saving teal deer kidnapping victims. That is what the notes say. Honest to Rassilon."
Deadpool: "It's a useful skill. You never know when you'll go out drinking with your buddies and then BAM. Get attacked by fiendish deer. Teal ones at that, so it might be due to some sort of drug trip. Will? No more drugs."
The Doctor: "Driver's Ed has a blow-off day, where they play with cars. Z flails about losing one of her kids, and I do hope you found them, as a lost child is a horrible thing. Yondaime grabs Karyuu from my co-host, Orden attempts to prove to Kid, that's a definite article there, capital K, about how cool he is. Isn't that nice? Oh, and my co-host showed off his two kids to Rikku. Wait until you get grandkids. Now those are fantastic!"
Deadpool: "Please don't talk about that. Kid is never getting married or even looking at a boy. Ever. I know what they all want and they're not gonna get it from her!"
The Doctor: "Joanie and Thomas lead a revolting class about paintball. I fully agree with that sentiment, as playing with guns merely gives people horrible ideas. Guns are bad, right students of Fandom?"
Deadpool: "...But guns are nice!"
The Doctor: "I very much disagree. Joanie tells Bel and Anders to make out. In class? That's highly inappropriate. Then Bel arms Catie and encourages shooting her mom. I'll have a word with you about encouraging matricide, Mister Belthazor. D'Argo wants a gun, as he is his mother's son, apparently. What are parents teaching their kids today? Lysander doesn't think Aeryn looks like she ought to. Maybe she's having a bad hair day?"
Deadpool: "Maybe she had a lot of plastic surgery. Like, the 6 Million Dollar Man a lot of plastic surgery."
The Doctor: "So she makes that 'nuhnuhnuhnuhnuh' noise whenever she does anything dramatic? Eddie and Lou get permission from their parents to play. Well, that's good of them. Alexandria has powers to use instead of guns, and my mentoree Marco flails about shooting kids. If you actually shot kids, Marco, I'll be having a word with you, too. The class descended into mass chaos and paintball fire. This is me, giving you all a disapproving look. Be thankful this is radio."
Deadpool: "It's very disapproving. I even feel guilty about stuff I didn't do!"
The Doctor: "Aly, hello out there, Aly, arrived late. Kawalsky tattled on her children, but that's alright in this instance, as they deserved it for instigating such a menace. Bronwyn questions Aly's right to be big. That's... rather adorable, that is. Crichton asks Aly to babysit Umberta, for what purposes, I cannot discern."
Deadpool: "Because he wants to get revenge on her for something? Maybe the fact that the kid got named Umberta. What is that all about?
The Doctor: "Horrible parents, that's what. Finally, in the land of classes, we have Computer Science where they ask what people would want in a robot. Me, I prefer my robotics in the form of a faithful dog. Jade crashed the course, looking for a computer. One would probably guess she found one, given the course name, and all."
Deadpool: "Unless it's more about science than computers, you never know."
The Doctor: "Nice green chap, Lorne, he had story time for the kiddies. Trudi wanted a song, and MaryBeth discovered her Aunt Molly. Trudi got her song, and it's about bears. Lots of good songs about bears, really. Not content with one song, MaryBeth wants one of her own. Benjamin wanted a story with... content not suitable for children, while OJ wanted a story with lightsabers. Bailey wanted a song that combines Cole Porter with... They Must Be Gigantic?"
Deadpool: "They're a fun band. Taught me all about Turkish geography."
The Doctor: "Billy brought his kids, as did Luna. This inspired Catie to sing. Always fun, singing. John Winchester had office hours with his kids. Anakin has office hours and Molly, Aeryn, Charlie, Rory all came in with kids, as well as more than a few kids all on their lonesome, which officially makes all of you who let your small kids wander alone horrible parents. There, I said it. You probably didn't want to hear it, but there you are."
Deadpool: "Kids wander! It's what they do! Um... not to say mine did. Ever."
The Doctor: "Aly got soaked in her office, where Yondaime and Karyuu stopped by. Dr. Wilson, also a good chap, had office visits from Blue, Tori and Aiden, Bailey and Nadia, Sebastian, Pandora, and Aziraphale. The office, definite article again but no capital letter, that was open. Aziraphale had office hours with visits from Sebastian and Annette, and then later he gave Wilson flowers for his birthday. Happy Birthday, Doctor Wilson. Many happy returns and all that!"
Deadpool: "Happy birthday Dr. Not Me!"
The Doctor: "Dueling Club mingled, and also had teeter totters, slides, swings, a ball pit, a moonwalk, a large inflatable Bitterwoman, refreshments, and Doctor Orpheus. Young Capitalist Indoctrination, I mean Entrepreneurs, they met as well and made glitter, and you could also talk to my co-host or my co-host's children."
Deadpool: "Ohhhh. So that's where she wandered off to."
The Doctor: "Alpha Beta Gremlin had arts and crafts and pictures. And in news of the library, Sam Winchester was your young library helper of the day. Sam valiantly defended special collections from Maggie invasion, fending her off with directions to fairy tales. Emily de-shelves books, and doesn't put them back properly. For shame. Marcie and Emily team up to look through books, and Angela and Sam discuss their future theoretical children. Ah, time anomalies. Aren't they grand?"
Deadpool: "Not when they're obnoxious and Christ-figure like."
The Doctor: "Never really had a problem with those, me. Mia accuses Sam of being a poster as he's not wearing red. I don't know how not wearing read makes you a nearly two dimensional wall adornment, but that's children for you. At lunch, Sam did not say grace, but he was visited by Grace."
Dorms
Deadpool: "Which is really better than saying grace. Gwynn with a y and two n's people watched in the fourth floor common room. She then met her spawn, Mia, who looks juuuuust like here and doesn't know what soccerfootball is. Poor kid. Its a fun sport. Dickweed and son of Dickweed meet Gwynn with a ya and two n's and then shoot each other."
The Doctor: "And people wonder about violence in children. Do we notice the trend of horrible parenting?"
Deadpool: "No, no. Horrible parenting would be the parents shooting the kids. Jack woke up with children all over him. Which is... weird and kinda cute, not going to lie about it. Phoebe, Bel and Anders also woke up covered with children. That must be a large and sturdy bed. Continuing the trend
Jim and Lana woke up with Maggie, and there's tickling. Hopefully of the non-naughty kind. Willow and Susie surprised English Peter and Alex with breakfast. Why didn't I get breakfast in bed, huh? Arashi? Tex? I'm looking at you two."
The Doctor: "I haven't had breakfast in bed in years. Well, at least, not breakfast I didn't make myself. Handy things, portable cooking appliances."
Deadpool: "Minion Turtle poked at an egg baby. Not a real baby, right? Marie took Andy to visit Dr. Not Me and the guy who I still think hit on me. Madrox tried to put down the director of S.H.E.I.L.D. for a nap. Silly mutant, naps are for non-directors of government agencies. Unless you're Tony Stark, then it'll be a nice drunken nap. Bayla, daughter of Lil' Minion answered a phone call for Jude. D'Anna woke up childless and alone. Buy some cats?"
The Doctor: "But remember, your sanity quotient goes down with each and every cat you own. So why not go mad now, and get yourself six!"
Deadpool: "By that logic, I should be the crazy cat lady of Fandom. Jake Harkness came back to the room just before Jack got there and tried to play innocent. It did not work. Better luck next time. Madrox abandoned Nick Fury to go hand out with Marie and her kid. Annette napped and Sebastian met Dick and there was a confrontation of some sort. Summer told Marissa why she was named after he bee eff eff. The Shawn came by, and Marissa and Devon got possessive of their respective daddies"
The Doctor: "That's endearing, that is. Little kids, being all cute. I really can't believe I missed all this. Very not fantastic, really."
Deadpool: "Cameron told Marybeth a bedtime story.
John and D'Argo surprised Aeryn for her birthday. Then D'Argo told them that maybe they should, you know, find the place he came from. Is it time for the talk? Anders, continuing the funny name trend, brought Artemis and Pandora back from class. Bel brought Melinda and Samantha and Patience by, and Patience said that her mom's not a huge Bel fan. So, no autographs? River got talked at to by Ananda and Tributary. Ha! Tributary. Cute."
The Doctor: "Why not just name her Brook?"
Deadpool: "Too easy. Will punched teal deer to save Valentine. Good. Damn good for nothing deer. Jack told Sam that Jake is in the shower because of food mishaps. They happen to the best of us. Cedric brought Aiden by, and then Jake, Sam and Cedric figured they should take the kids back.
Pip sent an E-mail saying he's leaving. Not my giant one-eyed merc buddy! MERC BUDDIES!"
The Doctor: "For those of you at home, I just rolled my eyes. Fifth Floor Common Room was home to Pippi making dinner while her children rode Old Man. Don't worry, there wasn't elderly person abuse. For those not in the know, that's the name of Pippi's horse. Pippi and Walter talk about leaving and keeping in touch. Good thing to do, really. Tributary also got a ride on Old Man. Then, much later, the roof is home to Billy and Ami and their angst. I refuse to call it emo. Horrible word."
Town
Deadpool: "Mispronounce it then. Much more fun that way. E-moooo. See? Rosette, Chrono, Dickweed and son of Dickweed had a Nerf battle in the park. Some kid named Guu let son of Dickweed hit her with a Nerf weapon and then played dead. That won't make him leave you alone Guu, I'm sorry. Tori, our favorite stripper studied for finals while Aiden colored at Book Haven, which is a much better name than that Aeropostal one. Ami, the girl my minion is not having a lesbian affair with showed up with Akira, who played with Aiden. I though Akira was a movie. Huh."
The Doctor: "You're thinking of that director. The one who did 'Ikiru'."
Deadpool: "I love that movie! Son of Dickweed showed up, looking for books and demons. Is reading your demon? They have learning centers for that. My minion, Setsuna who is heterosexual, despite recent evidence, hid from her child but talked to the movie Akira. She then insulted son of Dickweed. Good job! The stripper introduced Setsuna to Aiden, who is not a movie."
The Doctor: "There's a student who's a stripper? Isn't that a federal crime?"
Deadpool: "Welcome to Fandom! Where there are strippers and boykissy. I wish there were more strippers though. Nubile Young Avenger, Hulkling opened Sparky Repairs with someone named Yukio in tow. Then Agatha warned him to not let Yukio break anything. Cally! Lesbian buddy! She brought Perfectly in to meet Teddy and met Yukio. Gigante and the kid who flirted with my baby girl stopped by to see Teddy too."
The Doctor: "Gigante? Sounds like a luchador."
Deadpool: "He ought to be. Giles, my favorite limey, opened the Magic Box with his two kids. Xander, whose name still sounds like that of an X-Men, brought Bronwyn with a y and talked to Giles about his kids. Brain breaking ensued. Dawn showed up with Maggie to meet Giles and Bronwyn with a y. Peri snuck away from his mom there to find a wand. Okay then."
The Doctor: "Peri? If she was obnoxious, American, and into botany, I'm very glad I didn't run into her."
Deadpool: "...kay. Dickweed, Tori, Annette & Rosette had a picnic on the beach with all their kids. Son of Dickweed, Aiden and Sebastian played frisbee. Which is fun and, yeah no. Stripper Tori introduced Aiden to Dickweed. Ah, strippers. That makes this more exciting. Rosette freaked out over the whole family bonding experience. Annette and Dickweedtalked about swimsuits, which is both odd and very girly. Annette told Tori that Sebastian wanted her to teach him how to be a stripper. Or surf. One of those two. Probably the latter, but you never know. Dean Not a Gun took his sons to Fast Eddies to play pool and eat junk food. Thus making him the most AWESOME DAD EVER."
The Doctor: "If you say so. Again, for those at home, an eyeroll."
Deadpool: "The Devil's Nest was open tonight, seeing business from a drunk nun who talked about having kids with Cotton Candy. And also That creepy TA of Arashi's who just hung out in the lounge. Probably being creepy."
The Doctor: "Seems unhealthy, that. Over at the clinic this evening, Dr. Wilson nibbled on cookies. Pippi and Leon and Little Walter all came to wish him a happy birthday, and then Wilson and Aziraphale shared a bit of dinner. Rather nice, really."
The Doctor: "At Caritas, Dick's child suggests he should, quote, 'stick with dudes'. Interesting. Tommy and Ana did the karaoke thing, and then later Ana asked Ryan about dancing places. Billy was doing the fatherly thing, and Annette was doing the motherly thing. And in the lounge, there were kids dancing. Isn't that sweet?"
Deadpool: "Yeah, yeah. Dancing kids. Terribly cute."
The Doctor: "If you insist. Oh, a vortex opened in town! How come no one told me? I love vortexes, me. And now... apparently everyone sent their future theoretical children into it. Did anyone check the vortex first? There could be anything on the other side! A universe without shrimp, 1960's Berlin, Jonathan Swift with a sausage grinder, anything! It's a good thing you all were saying goodbye, wasn't it? The adieus included River and Blair bidding farewell to Tributary, Dick telling Ryan to give his mom hell, Ananda bids River goodbye, Annette see Sebastian off, Billy is tickled goodbye by Tommy and Ana, Willow sees off her kids and meets Tommy and Ana in time to say goodbye, and does likewise with Anders' Artemis and Pandora. Aiden tells Tori not to cry as he goes, Pip and Pippi bid Leon and Walter adieu, Gu says fare thee well to Nova, Ami says goodbye to Akira, Umberta leaves John with insults, Naomi says goodbye to Sabrina, Cally and Mac see Perfectly off. Wait... Perfectly? Who would be so horrible as to name a kid Perfectly?"
Deadpool: "The adorable lesbians it would seem."
The Doctor: "You seem to have a sapphic fixation, do you know that? Isabel and Jack, and I can only imagine how many theoretical kids Jack Harkness had around, let me tell you, they said goodbye to Alexandria. Parker says a goodbye to each of her kids, and makes sure they have everything before they go. Aly and Josh say goodbye to Thomas and Joanie, and instruct them to protect each other. John and Aeryn see off D'Argo, again with the horrible naming, and Anakin and Molly say goodbye to Trudi. You want to pick up from there, my red-suited friend?"
Deadpool: "Summer, Shawn and Chris saw Devon, Matthew, and Marissa off. Rikku and Jude said goodbye to Bayla. Bel, Phoebe and Anders said goodbye to their massive broode. Lana and Jim said goodbye to Maggie. Isabel and Greg saw Josh off. River stood quietly by the vortex after her kids were gone. Pippi and Pip were sad and they discussed future plans. Tori cried as she held the frame Aiden made for her. Naomi cried a little too. Ami was sad. Aeryn and John consoled each other. And Billy left quickly to compose himself."
The Doctor: "In the form of a ballad, you think? Sorry, couldn't resist the pun."
Deadpool: "Puns are bad. Make me want to find my guns bad. For shame Doctor, for shame."
The Doctor: "Don't make me use my sonic screwdriver on you."
Deadpool: "Is that some sort of innuendo? Because contrary to any unsavoury rumors about myself and a certain ninja, I don't swing that way."
The Doctor: "It's a screwdriver. It's sonic. Sonic. Screwdriver. Simple concept, yes? Nothing dirty about it."
Deadpool: "Does it have lasers?"
The Doctor: "Why would a sonic screwdriver have lasers? It's not a laser screwdriver!"
Deadpool: "Well maybe it should be! And on that note, we bid you all adieu!"
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It was funny 'cause it was truuuuuuue.
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