Fandom Radio, Thursday, December 10th

[bitchprince]

Arthur: For the love of all that is holy, Merlin--

*chittering*

Arthur: And you will stay out of this.

Merlin: They understand love, Arthur! You wouldn't know it if it bit you on your ass.

Arthur: For the last time, you are not in love, you are under a spell. Which is the only way that small-breasted harpy-- Wait, is this on?

Merlin: Don't listen to him, Karla! We'll be together once again!

Arthur: Merlin, shut up, for God's sake. You're only going to regret this in the morning.

ZAP

'Dite: Or, I could just fix things.

Merlin: There's nothing to fix! I'm in love!

Arthur: ... How--? Nevermind. Yes, please do fix it before he decides to fling himself at the door again, Merlin.

'Dite: Oh, you must have gotten a full dose. Hold still.

Merlin: What are you talking about?

Arthur: What, do you have a problem with your ears? Holding still.

*mild scuffle*

*the sound of a pop, like a hand to skin, then a tiny zap!*

'Dite: There. That should do it.

Merlin: Do wha--Oh bugger.

Arthur: We need to have a very long talk about when it is and isn't all right to be out of your mind. Thank you, whoever you are...?

'Dite: I'm Aphrodite, goddess of love. Sorry about that. There was an accident with a gremlin and a love potion, and I'm off to set things straight -- so to speak.

Merlin: I--I think perhaps I need to go hide in a closet for a very long time.

Arthur: Not before you read these notes. As long as you're here, you might as well be helpful. *scrapes throat* Don't let us keep you. You have my gratitude. ... And his as well, right, Merlin?

Merlin: *whimper*

'Dite: Have fun, guys. Lots of other people to track down. Byeeee! Zap

Arthur: Well, that was serendipitous, wasn't it?

School

Merlin: Um... Notes! How--lovely. Mr. Fraser was forced to do paperwork when his pocket knife ended up as a candy cane and Mr. Demon wrote poetry for the gentleman at Arthur and Francine's church. Mr. Mitchell watched television in his office today when he was visited by Jack who was--rather enamored with Priestly. Priestly? Really? Kate also stopped by with biscuits to talk about being in a coma this past weekend. That's horrible!

Arthur: It's rather disturbing to note hers was possibly one of the kinder fates this weekend.

Merlin: But it's still horrible. Sam was in a very good mood at the library today. Which is nice for him. Dinah stopped by to tell him her feelings and then---they kissed? Is this a joke?

*chitters*

Alright then. I suppose so. Um, Claire brought him coffee and was concerned he was getting over Peter too quickly upon hearing about him and Dinah. Mr. Skywalker talked about the lady and the tiger in Ethics today. Which, I suppose might be about hunting. Everyone paired up to see if the woman gave her lover to the tiger or another woman---that's an awful thing to ask someone. Surely there was a way around it? They talked about which they would pick. Tara and Raven--er---hello--were there as TAs. Mr. Skywalker spoke with Raven about her abilities and Max.

Drivers Ed talked about drag racing--what on earth is that? Why would you drag things about in a race? Everyone paired off to race while Ziva was there if needed. Chicago is cold and weapons are candy canes so Arthur's class watched a movie.

Where is Chicago?

Arthur: I don't know. Somewhere in Canadia, I presume. It sounds glacial.

Merlin: That might be interesting to visit, though. Logic talked about paradoxes. Miss Bennett lectured before they talked about whatparadoxes teach about logic and if they exist. ...if they didn't exist, how would they have the lecture? Miss Bennett and her TAs were there! Oceanography talked about what they liked about the class. Oh! I should have taken that. The ocean is nice here.

Arthur: Only in summer. In winter, it would eat you alive, rather than merely cook your skin off.

Merlin: It could be like that boat we went on! To warmer places.

Arthur: We do have a break coming up...

Merlin: You just like the airplanes.

Arthur: Sorry, I keep forgetting where you're the expert on airplanes, is it?

Merlin: You still think we'll be attacked by bandits.

Arthur: It's a perfectly legitimate concern! You've seen the teevee!

Merlin: Not everything there is real, Arthur.

Arthur: It remains a massive security risk. Anyway, weren't we talking about the boat again? We should find out how to rent one.

Dorms

Arthur: Because all of this madness with love spells wasn't enough, the island deigned to turn all of our blades into sweets today. I'd like to talk to whoever's responsible. Ben found out about this the more frustrating way, as he was unable to practice due to the sudden magic. But not for a lack of trying. He commiserates with Kennedy about the pointlessness of it all. They have a perfectly good reason to be irritated, squirrel.

Merlin: Er... yes. Best to just let him alone. Effy was eating a candy cane when Alex stopped by to ask about her--elf outfit? She said he was getting coal in his stocking. That's a terrible place to put coal. Jono was very cheerful when Jean arrived to ask about shopping and if he'd been bitten by a gremlin. People normally act very strange then, Jean. It's rather easy to tell.

Arthur: People normally act very strangely around here, period. I spent the morning dealing with a wizard. Jonas, meanwhile, spent the afternoon dealing with Beka, but I hear that was flaily and pleasant.

Town

Arthur: Katchoo tended to the shelves today at Strokes of Genius, gaining a warning from Ino about this ridiculousness with our swords, and discussing what to do next time one of us goes mad with Francine.

Tara obviously hadn't heard enough music for the holidays, as she had some on at the Magic Box. Kennedy came by to vent her ire again about our swords, and worried Diana with her suddenly extensive sweets collection. This was an issue that also plagued Priestly at the diner - heh - and Jack visited to... woo him. Right. Well. Spare time, and all that. Then Dinah bounced in, also bespelled, no doubt, to warble on about Sam Winchester. Island? My advice? Stop doing that.

Merlin: I don't think it works that way.

Arthur: I don't care. It's that, or we track down these wizards and take them to trial for their crimes against sanity. Actually, that might be a good idea...

Merlin: ...um...

Arthur: Don't suppose you have some kind of sorceror scrying spell or something...?

Merlin: No.

Arthur: You should work on that. Might help next time the island decides to go off its top or enchant us all or... whatever it is.

Merlin: ...perhaps you should continue the notes.

Arthur: I really think we could make headway. Anyway. The Angel Castiel finally took some much-needed steps at the church to ensure that no one would try to proposition him again. And then he had to explain God to Sir Vimes. I'm sure you were up to the task, sir. Mary worked her magic at the Arms Hotel, even in the light of recent development. The good Aphrodite came by to see about preparations for her coming feast, and took to the ball room with Mary, which is where Emma found us and did us and our headaches a great service.

In minor news, Maron read at Turtle & Canary, Loki ate some leftover cookies, and Lindsay spent the morning writing checks for the homeless. A noble cause. Dimitri was trying to fend off insane members of his staff at the gym - I sympathise - and Professor Fred came by to see if he would be interested in another trainer. Considering the rest of them seem to be mad, the answer may be yes. Also, Captain Algren's shift met a good mood, and some girl crashed into one of the extra stalls at the Gig, for some reason.

Merlin: The stables can be rather warm in the winter!

Arthur: But why bother invading them when there's a warm school right there?

Merlin: Perhaps she's not a student?

Arthur: Why, then there's a hotel. Or any other property where one can be recieved with kindness rather than imposing on someone else's estate. There's got to be someone taking care of these people.

Merlin: *sigh*

Arthur: Work on that. Elena found some peace in rifling the new shipment of shoes, and then got girly about them with Ino. Moving on from such topics, Professor Mitchell showed Farewell Lenin at the theatre, and Kate used the excuse to plunder the sweets.

Merlin: It was the last night of the play tonight. The--box office was open and the actors were all gathered together to prepare. Kate tried to be very supportive of his--er--love for Priestly. And his very pink hair. Right. Dinah brought Sam flowers and warned him that Priestly didn't understand their love.

...

Arthur: It's Dinah. I'm not sure anyone could possibly understand her anything.

Merlin: *giggles snickers giggles* Kate and Priestly came to the conclusion that something is terribly wrong with everyone falling in love. Which, um, duh? Mr Demon was busy--wooing the fellow from Arthur's church before Aphrodite fixed him. I'm sure he was pleased to be stopped before it got worse. Dinah told Tony about how in--er--love with Sam she was. I hope she didn't do anything rash. The audience all took their seat to watch the performance, but things continued to be rather odd there I assume. Griff had a date with Fiona there, and Jono with Didi as well.

Arthur: Ben and Jono discussed Didi and Ben's inability to comprehend the play, and the performance, I'm told, was 'awesome'. After the performance, they gathered outside, where Hannibal teased, then congratulated Kate on her work. Priestly failed to let Jack down gently, which is why he was lucky to meet with the lovely Aphrodite, so that Jack could be dissuaded from his spell. Likewise for Dinah and Sam, who had already moved on to wedding-planning. A bit quick, isn't it? You couldn't have even considered his estates or anything. Anyway, a lone Gabrielle was also saved by her, and all were truly merry. Except for some.

Oh, and down at the causeway, Dinah flails at Priestly, vowing not to return to the island. Sounds familiar...

Merlin: ...it does?

Arthur: To be fair, it's a bit more ambitious than a closet.

Merlin: I don't even know where I am when I leave the island!

Arthur: I'm not entirely certain you ever truly realise where you are, Merlin, with all that tripping you manage most of the time. *audible grin*

Merlin: *grumbles* Shouldn't you be saying good night?

Arthur: Ah, should I? Heh. Good night, Fandom. May you all sleep the sleep of the happily unenchanted. Let's go, Merlin.