fandom_radio | Entries tagged with xander harris

Xander: Hi, Fandom. This is Xander Harris. Which you know unless you're a newbie. Hi, newbies.

Willow: And this is Willow Rosenberg, giving the traditional newbie greeting that the nearby box is not actually talking to you, but projecting the sound of our voices from a distance. As some of you newbies tend to be from an earlier time, it's always useful to mention this.

Xander: Unless the nearby box is a toaster. Then it might actually be talking.

Willow: Or the bread you put into it became sentient, in which case it's not the toaster talking so much as it is the bread going "OW OW OW HOT OW!"

Xander: Sometimes you're callous and strange.

Willow: I'm not saying I don't feel for the bread. But sometimes butter and jelly needs a home.

Xander: Absolutely. The bread's just fulfilling its buttery ~~*fingerwiggle*~~ destiny.

Willow: As must we, by reporting the news. By which I mean we fulfill our reporting destiny, not that we're confined into small metal boxes with hot coils on either side of us until we're thrown into the air once we're properly crunchy. ( Mmmm, crunchy news )

Current Mood: nostalgic

willbedone.livejournal.com

Willow: Hello Fandom. Welcome to this, a very sad and woeful edition of WTFH radio.

Xander: What's with the woe? It's not our last broadcast.

Willow: School is over! We did classes, and finals, and - and - *loud sound of a nose being blown*

Xander: You're cute when you're cutely insane.

Willow: Am I cute to the point of getting a grade?

Xander: ...Yes. You get an A+ in cute. With extra credit for the insanity.

Willow: So more like an A++?

Xander: 5.2 on 4.0 scale. Or possibly the Richter Scale.

Willow: Yay! Then we can go on with the news! ( Of a pre-graduation nature. )

Current Mood: mischievous

needsaparrot

Willow: Hello Fandom! This is Willow Rosenberg who, as far as you know, is just in from prom and will be getting back to said prom immediately because she has found said prom to be very snuggly - um, I mean dancey and fun. So tonight's news shall be quick and pithy! Except for how there's a ton of it, but you get what I mean.

Xander: What she said. About the quick. I'll get back to you on the pithy once I've looked it up and verified that it means what I think it means.

Willow: I'll email you the meaning later. In the meanwhile ( News! LOTS AND LOTS OF IT! )

Current Mood: prommy

needsaparrot

Xander: Hey, Fandom, it's the Xander and Willow show, coming to you live from a secret undisclosed location that you've never heard of before that just happens to have lots of squirrels and rum in it.

Willow: Disneyworld?

Xander: Exactly. Could you stop spinning the teacup please? I had too many cupcakes; Xander go blerky.

Willow: It's just wrong for teacups to have badness associated with them. It throws off the balance of things.

Xander: Could be worse; could be stuck on the Small World ride and then we have Xander go berserky.

Willow: And the reason you hate me enough to put that song into my head is...?

Xander: Misery loves company?

Willow: Okay, fair point. Though hopefully you'll understand as I now change the topic towards news. ( Which will not have singing about worlds of any size. )

willbedone.livejournal.com

Willow: Hello Fandom! This is Willow Rosenberg, reporting to you with all my parts in the appropriate places.

Xander: Is there some reason they wouldn't be?

Willow: Are we going for something other than 'We live in Fandom'?

Xander: Yeah, good point. Parts do seem to migrate a lot around here. Some people's parts, anyway.

Willow: This is what I'm saying. Ergo, I am happy to be me. As me. All of me. With no spare me-ness.

Xander: Or spare -- hey, that rhymes.

Willow: ...what does?

{Long pause}

Xander: Booze, which the squirrels are toasting us with. It rhymes with news.

Willow: Oh! Well then let us choose to cruise through the news!

( Though you must click to peruse! )

Current Mood: okay

needsaparrot

Willow: Hi Fandom! It's Willow Rosenberg, reporting to you while no longer alone save for the squirrels. Welcome back, Xander! Yay!

Xander: Glad to be here. And not just 'cause it means I'm not home with a splitting headache where I used to have an eye.

Willow: Did you try ice?

Xander: With a little scotch to make sure it didn't melt too fast.

Willow: Wouldn't the scotch drip out and get everywhere? I mean sure, so would the ice eventually, but scotch can stain.

Xander: ...My couch is scotch-guarded.

Willow: Wow. That was remarkably efficient of you.

Xander: You've met my family, right?

Willow: When you're right you're right. Shall we news?

Xander: We shall news! While the squirrels rum.

Willow: Hopefully the furniture here is rum-guarded. Though I'd be very surprised if it wasn't.

( In the meanwhile, news! )

willbedone.livejournal.com

Willow: Hi Fandom! This is Willow Rosenberg, happy to be doing radio instead of being in the past where, while radio did exist, it was in no way the same.

Xander: And this is Xander Harris, what she said. Also, happy to have my co-host back, and not just because if she stayed in the past I'd have ended up doing radio with the Sockpuppet of Love. Uh, if I hadn't ended up in the past too.

Willow: We didn't even end up together! I didn't have you, Peter wasn't even born yet - I tell ya if it wasn't for Mel and the brothel the past would've totally sucked.

Xander: ...............

Willow: What?

Xander: You and Mel went to a brothel?

Willow: Pffft. Not went. Worked.

Xander: ...And Peter's okay with this?

Willow: Well we started talking about it and then we got distracted with Narnia and proclamations and there was official language and seals and - ahem. News now?

Xander: Yeah, we better. I'm still processing brothel. I don't think I wanna try to figure out what you did with the seals.

Willow: Only one seal! Not that I would've minded more, but you know me. Anyway! ( News of a Fandomish sort! )

Current Mood: good

needsaparrot

Hey Fandom? Look behind you. Unless there's a statue of an angel in front of you. Then have somebody else look behind you. All clear? Okay, then. This is Xander with the news. Willow couldn't be here tonight because she's stucking in nineteen frakkin' twenty-three. But she says hi.

[squeaky noises]

Yeah, you guys too. She mentioned you specifically.

[squeaky sniffly noises]

Aww, man, don't do that. We're gonna get her back. We're gonna get 'em all back. Here, have a kleenex. ...Okay, have like, a tenth of a kleenex. Look, I'm gonna read about how we even hold classes during a state of emergency - you know she'll be all lovably deranged over that when she gets home.

( No really, look behind you. )

Be careful, people. Look out for each other. Me and the squirrels are heading back to MCA - somebody leave a light on for me, okay?

Arrr?

Yeah, you can come too.
___

In the land of the OOC, the one-eyed man is ...not reading these links.

The Past: Paris 1899 | Cairo 1923 | New York 1930 | Chicago 1933 | London 1936

Away Teams: Alpha: American Museum of Natural History, NYC | Bravo: Crane Asylum, Chicago | Charlie: Westchester | Delta: Timbuktu | Echo: London/Latveria

Current Mood: worried

willbedone.livejournal.com

Willow: Hi Fandom! Willow Rosenberg here for Fandom Raa-ah - ah - ACHOO!

Xander: Geblessyouheit. And this is Xander Harris.

Willow: I wish I could stop doing that. Every time I do that they explode and die. It's dusty pathos everywhere!

Xander: Maybe it's like the cookies. You how it's okay to eat chocolate chip cookies because you're helping them fulfill their cookie destiny? Even if they have smiley faces on 'em? Maybe this is like... dust bunny nirvana or something.

Willow: So they want us to sneeze on them?

Xander: Or chase 'em with a broom.

Willow: Oh! Like playing tag! Only with dust bunnies and equipment.

Xander: And more exploding. Like playing tag with vampires!

Willow: Yes! And with less likelihood that they'll try to drain our blood and leave us for dead. Or at least I hope so. Otherwise today is much more complicated.

Xander:( I think we've got enough news to read already without adding vampire bunnies to the pile. )

Current Mood: amused

needsaparrot

Xander: Hey, half-empty Fandom - this is Xander Harris, who's got the My Co-Host Is In Mexico And My Boyfriend Is In Space So It's Just Me And The Frog This Weekend Blues, bringing you the My Co-Host Is In Mexico And My Boyfriend Is In Space So It's Just Me And The Frog This Weekend News.

Jeremiah: *ribbit*

Xander: That was the frog. Say hi to the people, Jeremiah.

Jeremiah: *ribbit*

Xander: He's a frog of few, but powerful words. Okay, he's a frog of no words, but powerful tongue.

Jeremiah: *...ribbit?*

Xander: NOT DIRTY! Jeez, lick your frog once when you're possessed by some pointy-eared elf kid so flamey his pants burnt off, and he looks at you funny for the rest of your life and thank God you're all in Mexico tonight and didn't just hear me say that. Hey squirrels, did anybody actually do anything today?

*thud, as of a stack of notes being dumped into somebody's lap*

Xander: ( I guess that's a yes. )

needsaparrot

Willow: *sighs* Hello, Fandom, and welcome to what is possibly one of the worst days of the entire school year.

Xander: Whyfor, oh BFFiest BFF of mine?

Willow: Spring Break! An entire week of no classes! As though it's not bad enough that they don't offer us anything on the weekends either!

Xander: I like to refer to her as 'differently sane,' folks.

Willow: I mean sure there's homework and all but - but - can you hand me those tissues please?

Xander: You know I really don't want to know why the squirrels keep tissues in here.

Willow: Because they're wonderful and thoughtful. Unlike certain school calenders we could mention.

Xander: Cheer up! Spring Break means extra time for other things, y'know.

Willow: Like giving yourself practice final exams?

Xander: .....I was thinking maybe with a partner.

Willow: Oh! That's nice too. Much more fun than test-taking all by yourself.

Xander: Well, sometimes it's fun to watch.

*moment of horrified I said that on the radio, didn't I? silence*

The squirrels. As they hand us notes about what happened on this possibly worst day of the school year.

Willow: They are awfully cute with their wee notepads. Let's get to it! ( Behind a cut, naturally )

Current Mood: depressed

needsaparrot

Xander: Hey there, Fandom. Taking a break from boogieing the night away to bring you the news, this is Xander and W-- uh. Willow?

*the sound of silence*

Xander: Will? Huh, no Willow. Oh, wait, lemme check something.

*more silence, then a couple of aggrieved squeaks*

Xander: Nope, turns out that Willow-sized pile of squirrels in the corner was just... a Willow-sized pile of squirrels. Am I asking? I'm not asking. Clearly they drank the punch. Guess they weren't the only ones, 'cause it looks like it's just you and me tonight, Fandom.

*sound of a slamming door*

Willow: Hi! Hi! I'm here! Don't panic! I'm here with hereness and no longer there with thereness and by 'there' I of course mean 'the dance' which is where I have been this whole time. Well tonight. During dancetime. Prior to that I found other ways to occupy myself but my point is that I was at the dance, until now, when I am doing radio. Hi!

Xander: ...Hi. You were at the dance? Like just now? I didn't see you when I was leaving.

Willow: Um! Ha ha! Really? Because I saw you. From where I was. At the dance. But behind you which is why you got here ahead of me. Because... I was dancing. With Peter. Who was at the dance with me.

Xander: As opposed to with somebody else.

Willow: I'm just saying that I was at the dance and Peter was at the dance and I can't vouch for anyone else because I wasn't taking attendance. So news now?

Xander: Well, Bridge was there. Unless I was dancing inappropriately close to somebody else, in which case I'm so sorry, Other Person In A Green mask. Uh, and also Bridge. 'K, yeah, news now.

Willow: ( Of which we have tons! )

willbedone.livejournal.com

Willow: Good evening, Fandom! This is Willow Rosenberg for WTFH, here to report the news and wish you a happy Kite Flying Day.

Xander: It's Kite Flying Day?

Willow: Also Laugh and Get Rich Day, but that one sounds like it came from a Nigerian stranger who's asking me to trust him.

Xander: I actually met some trustworthy strangers in Nigeria, shockingly enough. Not saying I would get into internet banking with them or anything, but jeep ride out of a sandstorm? I'm there.

Willow: Do they have a service for that? Like you go to the stand in the middle of the storm and wait for the regularly scheduled jeep?

Xander: Not so much. More like try to take shelter against a rock face and hope that thing that looks like an SUV coming towards you isn't a mirage.

Willow: Or a partial mirage where the mirage part involves the brakes.

Xander: Oh good, something else to worry about the next time I get stuck in a sandstorm. I remember I was getting bored with the choking last time.

Willow: I'm here to help. Shall we do the news now?

Xander: I guess we should - I mean I could go fly a kite, but it's kind of dark out now.

Willow: Yeah, in hindsight I wish we could've told people about this sooner. On the other hand tomorrow is Toothache Day so I kinda understand if people are not so much with the celebrating.

Xander: Who makes up these holidays? Am I allowed to send Mel after them with a stake?

Willow: Sure. On Kill A Weird Holiday Maker Day.

Xander: *heavy sigh* Which I just know you're gonna say is not today. Fine, whatever. Did anybody laugh or get rich today?

Willow: Let us find out! ( With news! Which is past this cut! )

Current Mood: dorky

needsaparrot

Willow: Hello Fandom! Willow Rosenberg here for WTFH where I'm here to tell you that fingerprinting can be a lot of fun in ways that have nothing to do with either of the separate, yet equally important groups of the criminal justice system.

Xander: ...Is this in any way similar to certain early confusion about how the game 'Doctor' is supposed to be played? Because you know the fun part of Cops and Robbers is usually less... smudgy.

Willow: Oh no. Do I have some on me still? You know the ink doesn't dry nearly fast enough.

Xander: This is me NOT LOOKING.

Willow: I still don't know how else you would play doctor.

Xander: Usually it doesn't involve a three page medical history and printing up a fake insurance card.

Willow: But then how do you make sure everything gets submitted properly?

Xander: I'm not sure that's the kind of submission whoever came up with it had in mind.

Willow: I don't think it's very nice to play a game and deliberately exclude people who can only afford Medicare.

Xander: When you charge for it, that's a different and slightly less age-appropriate game.

Willow: There are just so many reasons why we need universal health care. Anyway, ( on to the news! )

needsaparrot

Willow: Hello Fandom! I suppose you're all wondering who the stranger in the room is. My name is Willow Rosenberg and I'm here to tell you that you're surrounded by a bunch of squirrels who just love you like crazy. So I'm going to report the news and Xander's going to report the news and then we're done. Okay?

Xander: The squirrels love us?

Willow: Oh yes. Like crazy! It's all part and parcel of my attempts to help poor Philbert. He's been acting weird this week and I thought maybe he needed an intervention.

Xander: From the squirrels? ...If it works, can you guys head over to my place after? Jeremiah's been bouncing off the tank walls all night like somebody spiked his dehydrated fly pellets with pixie sticks or something.

Willow: Okay first of all ew. And the squirrels are here to help us talk about how our animals' strange behavior has affected us. By which I mean we report the news. But there could be some kind of bottom line at the end. Which we hold. It's very important to hold the bottom line.

Xander: Whose bottom line? I'm not allowed to hold just anybody's.

Willow: Yeah... I kinda missed those details? Also I'm not sure what we hold the bottom line with. But hopefully Philbert and Jeremiah will accept the gift that we're offering to them and thus the bottom line part will be moot.

Xander: And by gift we mean... the news?

Willow: Now you're getting it!

( Speaking of: )

Xander: And now I feel like we need to say good night to Fandom before I make some statements the FCC would feel frownyfaced about, so Good Night, Fandom.

willbedone.livejournal.com

Willow: Hi everybody! Willow Rosenberg here with - OOF!

*sounds of excited, pouncing squirrels*

Willow: Oh hi guys! Hi! I missed you too! Hi!

Xander: You know, if you and the squirrels want some alone-time...

Willow: Don't be silly. I'm seeing someone. Also? So is one of the squirrels apparently. So if Teyla - if that is your real name - is listening, I would like to say that if you hurt any of their wee squirrel hearts I will cut your head off and put it on a neatly-labeled spike. Um - actual spike, not the vampire Spike. Though that would be bad too.

Xander: Er... could we talk about something that doesn't involve you removing people's necessary bodily organs? No reason. Just makes me twitchy.

Willow: I could offer to cut off her fingers?

Xander: Have I mentioned I'm glad you're my best friend in the world for ever and ever?

Willow: I feel some things should be clear, is all. Oo! Like your name. Introduce yourself. Doing radio is kind of like doing AA only everyone drinks rum instead of coffee. So like a celebrity version of AA, really.

Xander: Hi, I'm Xander, and I'm a twinkaholic.

Willow: Oh! Those come in banana flavor now! I've been meaning to tell you.

Xander: I kind of like the traditional cream filling.

Willow: I know. But this way you could have all the benefit of eating fruit without any of those nasty vitamins or actual food particles getting in the way.

Xander: There's a reason she's my best friend in the world forever and ever, boys and girls. Speaking of, don't we have some actual news to report on those types?

Willow: We do! Allow me: ( In spite of certain internet connections being PURE EVIL OMG )

Current Mood: happy

bridge-carson.livejournal.com

Bridge: Hello Fandom, and welcome to Thursday night's radio broadcast. Tonight I've got a special guest star- the cuter Xander. Say hello!

Xander: I've got the nametag and everything! Hi, Fandom.

Bridge: A nametag that was made for you by your BFF's boyfriend. For which I thank him, 'cause it's true! Anyway, I suppose we should get on to the actual news and stuff, starting with workshops.
( clickyclick )
Xander: Did I mention I'm having a really good day?

Bridge: You did... and now, you can say "Good night, Fandom".

Xander: Good night, ~~Gracie~~ Fandom!

Bridge: G'night everyone! *Click*

[ooc: much thanks to the fabulous

soldtoarmenians for co-hosting!]

auroryborealis.livejournal.com

RORY: HI OMG. This is Rory and we're in the woods and there aren't bears or anything but since I am a fifth wheel I have been left alone with only my coffee and candy to keep me company, woe. BUT HI, EVERYONE.

ANGELA: And this is Angela, also in the woods. We have the best tent ever because this freaky elf thing set it up. THANK YOU TOBBY. Seriously, the thing is bigger inside than my house.

XANDER: *cough* We like our tent too, though.

RORY: My tent is wee but I am sleepinating in Marty and Angela's not dirty YAY.

ANGELA: Not dirty. And Marty is off trying to ensnare teal deer with dramatic readings from our government textbook, but he should be joining us later.

BRIDGE: I'm here, though! And now... Fandom Radio, Special Camping Edition.

( Cut 'cause is long omg )

[co-written with

chasingangela,

oatmanspatient,

soldtoarmenians and

bridge_carson, YAY.]

whitedeathpod.livejournal.com

JOHN: Hewwo! My name's John! Hi! I'm seven and three quarters! Hi again! Can you all hear me! Does anyone else wanna say hi? Say hi guys!

( CUT FOR ZOMG REALLY LONG! )

[Thank you to Angel, Bridge, Cam, Sam, Anakin, Barbossa, Xander, Angela, Marty, Aeryn, Jaye, Rory, Sean, Vladdie, Chloe, and Veronica for helping with all this. If a link got missed, please forgive me. This day was absolutely HUGE and I couldn't get it all.]

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Entries tagged with xander harris

Fandom Radio: Friday, May 9th, 2008

Fandom Radio, Friday, May 2, 2008

Fandom Radio, Friday, April 25th, 2008

Fandom Radio, Friday, April 18th, 2008

Friday radio, April 11, 2008

Fandom Radio: Friday, April 4th, 2008

Radio, Friday, March 21, 2008

Fandom radio, Friday, March 14th

Radio, Friday March 7, 2008

Fandom Radio, Friday, 2/29/2008

Fandom Radio: Friday, February 22nd, 2008

Fandom Radio: Friday, February 15th, 2008

Fandom Radio, Friday, Feb 8, 2008

Fandom Radio, February 1st, 2008

Fandom Radio, January 25

Fandom Radio, Friday, Jan. 18, 2008

Fandom Radio, Thursday August 10, 2006

Fandom Radio, Sunday, May 7, 2006

Fandom Radio, Saturday April 28, 2006

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