Fandom Radio, Friday, Feb 8, 2008

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow: Good evening, Fandom! This is Willow Rosenberg for WTFH, here to report the news and wish you a happy Kite Flying Day.

Xander: It's Kite Flying Day?

Willow: Also Laugh and Get Rich Day, but that one sounds like it came from a Nigerian stranger who's asking me to trust him.

Xander: I actually met some trustworthy strangers in Nigeria, shockingly enough. Not saying I would get into internet banking with them or anything, but jeep ride out of a sandstorm? I'm there.

Willow: Do they have a service for that? Like you go to the stand in the middle of the storm and wait for the regularly scheduled jeep?

Xander: Not so much. More like try to take shelter against a rock face and hope that thing that looks like an SUV coming towards you isn't a mirage.

Willow: Or a partial mirage where the mirage part involves the brakes.

Xander: Oh good, something else to worry about the next time I get stuck in a sandstorm. I remember I was getting bored with the choking last time.

Willow: I'm here to help. Shall we do the news now?

Xander: I guess we should - I mean I could go fly a kite, but it's kind of dark out now.

Willow: Yeah, in hindsight I wish we could've told people about this sooner. On the other hand tomorrow is Toothache Day so I kinda understand if people are not so much with the celebrating.

Xander: Who makes up these holidays? Am I allowed to send Mel after them with a stake?

Willow: Sure. On Kill A Weird Holiday Maker Day.

Xander: *heavy sigh* Which I just know you're gonna say is not today. Fine, whatever. Did anybody laugh or get rich today?

Willow: Let us find out!

School! Where we can neither confirm nor deny whether tomorrow's detention will involve kite-flying. But odds are good that it won't.

Oh, wait, we actually have detention tomorrow! That's a nice change of pace. Though maybe not for Reno, Andros, Teddy Altman, Brooke Davis, Lucas Scott, Jennny Sparks, and Ron Weasley who now need to start stocking up on good bribe pictures if they want to make it into college someday.

Xander: I made it into college without bribing anybody, and I had detention. Just saying.

Willow: I'm merely pointing out that bribe pictures couldn't hurt. Anyway, Karal opened up the library. Liir proved himself to be the inferior Peter to Karal's Sam Winchester by stopping by with what I am told is a "special something." Then Andrew came in to talk to Karal about being worried about Liir. I don't know which one of them might be worried or if neither of them were and Andrew was more into getting some tips. In which case I recommend a furrowed brow.

Dean stopped by and agreed to teach Karal self-defense. Hopefully not against Andrew. Because no offense to Andrew but I don't think Karal needs lessons in order to take him. Evey came by to get the audio version of the book called Karal and Jeff's Adventures in Places Not Here. Then Gavin came by to flirt and oh my God Jeff is totally right about the library! I thought I was the only one who sees old books and starts to - um! Moving on!

Xander: That explains so much.

Willow: Art History talked about ancient Greek art that's not so much ancient but neither is it new so it's sort of like ancient art that's had one of those makeovers where you look ten years younger and also exactly like the host of the show not like that's narcissistic or anything. They also talked about how the British should have to give back the art that they bought from Greece and I must say Greece should've thought about this long before they sold semi-ancient art that was covered with lead paint.

The Art of Cool talked about how washing is very yay in terms of wanting to get snuggly with people. I cannot say that they were wrong. Everyone got to team up and discuss how clean their partner was, which I'm sure lead to awkwardness but not nearly as much as what would've happened if they'd had to clean their partner which is what I thought the note originally said. Ahem. Ron got down with his TA self and after class talked to Tink and Barney about making fun of him. I wouldn't think Barney would need the encouragement.

My Country talked about what kinds of government and military their countries should have, which was their class exercise. The noble nation of Gremlinistan is ruled by a very wonderful king and queen, and the military is made up of masters of the art of passive-agressive fu. Trust me when I say if you tried to invade you would so be made to feel guilty about it.

Xander: She knows whereof she speaks. Ask me about the Barbie incident when we were five. Go on. I dare ya.

Willow: You wanna start that again with me? Did you not learn your lesson from last time?

Office hours are had by Biff, Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy, and Glitch, who gets visited by Liir. Oh! And the office. Though there they just call it "hours."

The most wonderful Peter and boyfriend in all the land lead today's Student Council meeting. There was talk of the dance for Valentine's day. Sam Winchester got conscripted into dealing with flowers. Do they sing? They're kind of cute when they sing, though admittedly it's hard to get them to sing with their inside voices. And then there is chit-chat of a non-Valentine's nature.

Speaking in Tongues, Which We Swear Is Not Dirty club met today. Karal, Andrew, Hoshi, Evey, Carmela, Seregil, Sheppard, Naomi, Romeo, Lana, Adah, and Inara all introduced themselves and listed what languages they spoke. Do animal languages count? Because I did pretty good at those, even if some people said I didn't have to. Adah made fun of Karal's poetry in what I am told is "her own unique fashion." Which I assume means there was poetry of her own while enjoying books and flirting with Lee. Karal, Andrew, and Inara were there to be talked to. As opposed to all the other times when they shun conversation completely. Bob the librarian was there and smiling at everyone. That sounds friendly. Inara thanks him for helping out and Adah waves hi.

Dorms, Where Adah Continues Her Motormouth Ways

Xander: Today was apparently Adah Gets Busy Day, possibly not dirty, since she also came by to thank Lee putting up with her on Wednesday, and she wished she could stay but she actually has Things to Do. Okay, maybe dirty, except the squirrels say no, cute. Meanwhile the Peter Willow Doesn't Have A Problem With was doodling in his room. Hey, Willow, see? He doodles. You do doodle too. Make nice.

Willow: I am being nice! Facing facts is nice. This Peter is utterly inferior. I bet he can't even doodle properly. He's probably just oodling.

Xander: He could be making oodles of doodles. You don't know. Unlike Reno, who was making stupid sounds in his room. Until Sokka came by to correct him. There's a wrong way to make stupid sounds? I've been frakking it up all these years? I mope now. Unlike John, who was totally reading today. Not moping. At all.

Whoa, it's a trend. The not moping. Sky was not moping in that eye-leaky way that guys don't appreciate other guys telling everybody on the radio that they weren't moping in, so yeah, Sky wasn't. And Bridge -- dude? Squirrel says sulking. You could sulk at my place, ya know. I have cable. Well, satellite. Also, ice cream.

Luke doesn't sound like he's in too great a mood either; he's bruised-up and Artoo won't show him any good holodramas. ...I have holodramas? But the ones that came pre-programmed at MCA are possibly not what you had in mind. Especially considering your dad can kill me with his brain.

Meg was actually not moping in the no really way. She asked Best Roomie Ever - mine, not hers - to open her college letter, and she got into Stanford. Go not-mopey girl!

And Jaina's too busy ranting at John about where she's been all week to mope. Where was she? Did she get locked in a closet? Lee Adama's good at getting people out of those - I can vouch for that personally.

Evey and Karal walked back to the dorms after their date - no mope there. Did we run out?

Willow: Maybe they skipped kite-flying and went straight to laughing in the hopes that they'd get rich?

Xander: You could laugh and fly a kite. It seems like a pretty easy multi-task. Also kind of a fun date.


Town, Where There Was A Conspicuous Lack Of Kites. What Gives?

In the land of worky grownup types, it was Hip-Hooray No Boss Today Day at the clinic this morning and Caritas tonight; the nurses and Tino were crankin' the power ballads up to 11 and sliding across the floor in their socks. Possibly. This squirrel note has really squiggly paw-writing so I'm choosing to believe it says that. Katara brought in chocolate for the clinic night-shift, and Chad and Prince Oscar Pedro stopped by to keep her company. Do I know a Prince Oscar Pedro? Is he a leftover imaginary tutu-wearing mercenary from last weekend?

Later on Luke came in looking like somebody dropped a wall on him. Man, I hate when that happens. No, seriously, I'm in construction; I hate when that happens.

Speaking of bosses, ours did his own yo-ho-ho show tonight which you missed if you just tuned in, with song requests and the best rum-fueled advice ever. Gavin called in to find out whether you're allowed to shoot back at Cupid - nine out of ten rum-fueled pirates say yes -- and my partner-in-total-lack-of-crime stopped in to feed the squirrels honey-covered almonds. So they can celebrate Toothache Day tomorrow?

Willow: Oh no! They promised me they'd brush. I made sure.

Elsewhere around town, Movie Sign Theater saw Liir and Andrew, and Karal and Evey. Or all four of them saw the theater, specifically the movie playing in it. It was a double date! Or a quadruple one, depending on how fond they all are of each other.

Xander: I... actually have nothing to say that could possibly be dirtier than what people are thinking, so this is me not saying anything. Well, except for that thing I just said.

Willow: Then if you wanted things to be closed you are out of luck, pal, because "open" was the word of the day. Well that and "aberrant" which is actually pretty appropriate for Fandom. Anyway, amongst the things that were open and possibly also aberrant was Luke's, Turtle & Canary, Book Haven, Groovy Tunes, Wonders of the World, the church, Wellspring Arms where Romeo stopped by, Pizza Planet where Tom was around, and the Arms Hotel where Michael came by, as did Adah who talked to River about Reavers and Jeff's issues with nudity and wow with the unnecessary mental images. Yikes.

Xander: But Andrew on a quadruple date doesn't give you unnecessary mental MOVING RIGHT ALONG. Sky opened the banana stand - I've gotta get out there sometime. Maybe see if he can make me a chocolate-dipped Twinkie. Amber and Z both thought Eddie the banana-eating seagull was cute, and Sky told Bridge he wants to go home and hates Fandom. ....Youch. And now I get where the not-moping part comes in.

Ice cream. Just saying.

And finally, Ino was writing in a notebook down at the Perk, and Kabuto stopped in so they could throw notes at each other. That's.... kind of like flying a kite? If you squint and don't look very hard for the string. Helps if you only have one eye.

Willow: Stringless kite flying? It could be very zen.

Xander: Plus the people who sell them could laugh and get rich when they fly away and we have to buy more.

Willow: Oh! You know you're right. Those holiday makers are smarter than they sound. Who knew?

Xander: Am I still allowed to send Mel after the Toothache Day people?

Willow: Yes. On the appropriate day. Otherwise we're just contributing to chaos.

Xander: We wouldn't want that. It might lead to panic in the streets. Cats and dogs playing poker together. Open-book tests.

Willow: Stop it! You're scaring me!

Xander: Oops. Scare Willow Day was Tuesday. Sorry. I should send you a belated frog card or something, huh?

Willow: I'm sorry, what was that? Come up with a spell to make all your Twinkies disappear? Sure!

Xander: ...Ice cream? I have rocky banana ripple.

Willow: Oo! Then we're back to Toothache day again. I feel this is appropriate.

Xander: So in other words, goodnight Fandom and don't forget to brush and floss tonight.

Willow: What he said. Good night!