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fandom_radio2008-02-02 02:17 am
needsaparrot) wrote in fandom_radio2008-02-02 02:17 am
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Fandom Radio, February 1st, 2008
Willow: Hello Fandom! Willow Rosenberg here for WTFH where I'm here to tell you that fingerprinting can be a lot of fun in ways that have nothing to do with either of the separate, yet equally important groups of the criminal justice system.
Xander: ...Is this in any way similar to certain early confusion about how the game 'Doctor' is supposed to be played? Because you know the fun part of Cops and Robbers is usually less... smudgy.
Willow: Oh no. Do I have some on me still? You know the ink doesn't dry nearly fast enough.
Xander: This is me NOT LOOKING.
Willow: I still don't know how else you would play doctor.
Xander: Usually it doesn't involve a three page medical history and printing up a fake insurance card.
Willow: But then how do you make sure everything gets submitted properly?
Xander: I'm not sure that's the kind of submission whoever came up with it had in mind.
Willow: I don't think it's very nice to play a game and deliberately exclude people who can only afford Medicare.
Xander: When you charge for it, that's a different and slightly less age-appropriate game.
Willow: There are just so many reasons why we need universal health care. Anyway, on to the news!
School! Where we can neither confirm nor deny that the next detention will involve turning one's head and coughing.
Karal opened the library. Liir stopped by during first period to bring Karal and Altra lunch. Karal possibly thanked Liir by giving him a watch to remind him that first period takes place closer to breakfast. During second period Sam brought books back to their loving homes, and then got his guilt complex all over Karal's nice clean aura. Which Sam probably then felt extra guilty about and we can all cue the vicious cycle of shame and recriminations that ends with you doing something you'll regret for the rest of your life, like posting emo fanfiction about yourself and forgetting to log in as one of your sockpuppets. Or so I've heard.
Xander: THAT WAS YOU?
Willow: It was a very difficult time and because SHUT UP, that's why!
Art History talked about the art of Ancient Egypt, perhaps covering such topics as "Why is everyone facing sideways?" and "Amazing how after all this time and technology we haven't yet come up with something longer-lasting than some schmucks with a chisel and a rock." For class discussion they talk about what folks these days would bring to get them through the afterlife. I pick my computer and a copy of You: Getting Through The Afterlife.
The Art of Cool finishes dealing with their egg babies. That's kids for you. One day they're plopping out of an animal's no-no place, the next they're off to college. Everyone talks about their egg baby experience and then OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? Egg babies are neither for eating nor smashing! What sick freak told you that this was okay and had no terrifying psychological implications??
Xander: *sound of nonchalant whistling*
Willow: Oh. Wait. It's Barney and Tink's class. Well that offers an explanation, if not a sense of comfort. Ron and Reno then get into an egg baby fight, because the class wasn't disturbing enough, apparently.
My Country makes up histories for their countries. The noble nation of Gremlinistan has a long history of respecting arts, fine literature, and making cakes that look nothing like cakes yet are still yummy. Ronan lingers after, possibly to get cake recipes.
The most wonderful boyfriend in all the land calls the Student Council together to meet. They discuss the Valentine's Day dance and other Valentine's goodies. If said wonderful boyfriend is listening, he might find a positive answer to the question of whether he is going to this dance by himself. If he asked the right person, that is. By which I mean me. So we're clear.
Xander: Since when did Bridge join Student Council? And why would he ask you if he's going to the dance by himself which he's clearly not because he's going with me even though I haven't asked him yet hi Bridge wanna go to a Valentine's Dance?
Willow: The most wonderful boyfriend in all the land who also happens to have an accent? In more school news, Principal Washburn opens the Faculty meeting. Before the meeting everyone grabs a piece of pie and a beverage of some kind, except Tink who has crazy juice and inferior Peter's older brother who apparently considers himself too good for pie. Principal Washburn is still looking for suck..er, volunteers to run detention, and she warns people that they're not hallucinating if they notice a lot of mercenaries in town.
Xander: If they're wearing pink tutus and dancing a rhumba with a musk-ox.... you're probably still not hallucinating. Welcome to Fandom.
Willow: The office is open and full of hurt feelings. This is what happens when you don't give your highlighters enough love. Office hours are had by Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy, Richie, and Barney who tried to suck Biff, Vala, and Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy into the world of Facebook. None of which is dirty. Well, some of Facebook is but that's beside the point.
Xander: And me without my no-touchy pole today. I guess I'll just have to not touch that with my fingers instead.
Meanwhile in the land where the students live so obviously nobody's getting Superpoked
Today in Dormville, Annette was practicing the fine art of post-breakup emo. That's emo, not Ino, who came by to offer to beat on Dick and dammit, I'm just gonna store the pole here from now on. Savannah offered to do some friendly ass-kicking - no, sorry, that says killing - too. Apparently it hasn't happened yet, since Annette was still groovin' to the emo when she boxed up Dick's stuff and Jack Burton came along to ... talk about her sex life. As you do when somebody's just broken up. Robin the Non-Canadian was doing some grooving of his own on the stairs before he got the breakup news too. No word on whether he asked about Annette's sex life, but somehow I'm going with no.
Willow: Do I need these mental images? I do not need these mental images.
Xander: Karal and Dean both spent quality time with their cats today, but Dean also got a Dawn. Those are good things to have. Even when they're yelling at you. Also, to prove that Willow's not the only one who has some problems interpreting certain concepts, Andrew and Liir had a ....reading date.
Willow: Aww, that sounds like fun!
My cooking study buddy and Bridge are up on the roof and set up a vacation spot, complete with a heater and s'mores. Bridge approves of the overall concept of being in Barbados-on-the-roof, particularly at this time of year. Cooking study buddy wishes Karal was here and Bridge lets Karal know he's having a great time. Hoshi thinks they're all insane but joins in anyway. Z attempts to emo but is distracted by the roof being used for purposes that do not involve bad poetry. Well, other than any limericks that might be on the postcards.
Xander: All I have to say is that somebody owes me a souvenir. And also that there'll be waffles at my place in the morning if somebody ever decides to come back to Fandom. And by morning of course I mean "Sometime before Caritas opens." Unlike certain other people who live one floor below me.
Town, Where The Crazy People Live.
One floor below me, The Robin Formerly Known As Canadian but now to be referred to as Crazy Lady Who Wakes Up And Does Stuff At Hours When All Sane People Should Still Be In Bed With Their Significant Police Officers.... did that. At a slightly more reasonable time that we like to call "afternoon," Makoto and Zuko headed to J,GoB for tasty baked goods. And at an even better time we like to call "evening," Deadpool and Arashi had some quality snuggle-time with beer and models. Are you listening, Crazy Lady Who Wakes Up And Does Stuff At Hours When All Sane People Should Still Be In Bed With Their Significant Police Officers? This is what sane people do. And then they got some visitors, who may or may not have joined in on the snuggling. I don't judge.
On a slightly less uncrazy note, Karal went out riding in the rain, and met up with Tarma and Kethry, two of the non-hallucinatory mercenaries we're supposed to be not hallucinating this weekend. No word on whether they were wearing pink tutus.
Willow: Were they riding musk oxes?
Xander: Maybe? Or possibly really big horsies.
AJ and Beauty went on a date to Fast Eddie's, where there was no reading reported - see? That's how you're supposed to play the dating game, kids. Over at the gym, Anakin and Jaina played a game where they beat each other with sticks, which is not my kind of game unless there's a puffy Xander suit involved.
Willow: Oh, sure, but you call reading dates weird.
Xander: We're not here to judge; we're just here to love like crazy, remember?
Yitzhak, Chad and Dr. Troy had slow days at Luke's, Groovy Tunes, and the clinic, but Rikku got visits from her boss and Jack Burton at Wellspring Arms. One of them tried to buy a gun and some variation on the words bitch, please may have been used. You guess which one.
Willow: Mitch sneeze? Pitch cheese? Ooo! Ditch fleas!
Xander: ...Yes, that one. And at the Trooper Station, Sheriff Ron Jer-- uh, Roy Mustang -- got a phone call and then a visit from Lieutenant Kerrigan, who wasn't all that thrilled about the mercenaries she's not hallucinating. Maybe she doesn't like tutus?
Giles opened the Magic Box and Dawn stopped by to say hi, which is the kind of news about Dawn that I like to report. Go you with the saying hi, Dawnster. Do that a lot.
Willow: What if she's leaving? Wouldn't that cause confusion?
Xander: She can say bye when she's leaving. This plan allows for a certain amount of flexibility.
Jen opened Pizza Planet, and Dawn didn't say hi to her but the new Pizza Overlord who I for one welcome, did. Liir ran Book Haven today, which I guess explains the reading date, and Michael stopped in and got to hear about how Liir cooked for Andrew. See, that's the kind of date I can get into. Not personally because there's this guy on vacation in Barbados that I've got an exclusive thing with, but you know, conceptually.
Speaking of that guy, Sky who is not that guy opened the banana stand, and that guy, who hadn't left for Barbados yet, brought him a squishy and talked to him about somebody named Dru. Who I hope is not the one I know, because I'm pretty cool with Fandom Island being crazy-vampire-free. Go us. Two months and counting.
Willow: Oo! We should have a sign! Only one with flippy numbers because you just know we'll have to reset it at some point.
Xander: At Caritas, Jolee checked to make sure there wasn't a bounty out on him, as you do, then he opened the bar. Steve did some grinning at somebody named Bucky, and then there was discussion of open bars and slinky dresses, and yeah, I've had weekends like that too. Not recently. Brooke came in for a drink and told Jolee that her drinking problem was called "high school."
That wasn't the only place people were boozing it up.
There's a Tutu Convention In Town, After All. Because We Don't Have Enough Crazy People. We Have To Ship Them In.
There's an open bar at the Merc Con. I'm guessing people didn't show up just for that, since a lot of them seemed to be hanging out on the causeway with the treat-scammer dog before they hit the hotel.
Willow: I still say Gaspode is very sweet.
Xander: Jennifer, Puss -- seriously? No, right, we're not judging. Murdock, Iorek, Hayden and Taskmaster, Richard, Gourry, May and Rally, Minsc, and Slade Wilson-- why does that name sound familiar? -- all showed up. Also somebody named Weasel was surprised that Cable's alive. Yeah, you get a lot of that around here, dude. Trust me.
Gunther opened up the Arms Hotel for them to check in and mingle. Rude - notjudgingnotjudgingnotjudging asked Puss if he knew a Reeve. Puss doesn't, and neither do I, but I don't know any of you people so that's probably less surprising. Puss also flirted with Jennifer and met Minsc.
Rude told Reno there'll be no sex in the chopper - this is the guy I offered to loan Rikku my pokey stick for head-upsiding, right? Good call, Rude. I non-sarcastically don't mock your name. I don't glare at you like Bucky, either. Beatrix wondered if Rude was a local, which shows that she isn't, and Teatime waved at him and these people have guns and pointy objects so I'm just gonna pretend they're all named Fred. Fred is a good non-snickery name. The Fred Formerly Known As Teatime also met the Fred Formerly Known as Puss and thought the Fred For-- too much words, going back to names. Just know that I'm calling you all Fred in my head. Teatime thought Taskmaster was Death. Was he invisible? Did he make condom water-balloons? No? Then he wasn't DEATH. And now you know.
Bucky wanted to put the luggage down, but Natasha told him no. Then she talked to Jennifer about him, possibly using the words "my cabana boy." I don't know. I wasn't there.
Puss met Beatrix and BB, and Beatrix wasn't all that impressed with Teatime. It's a trend, because Jennifer told Murdock his taste was kind of untasty. Taskmaster and Hayden doubleyouteefed at having to share a room, and Taskmaster and Jennifer talked about being secure and the Spice Girls, and now I'm not sure who should be questioning whose taste.
Willow: I vote for the people who don't like teatime. With a properly brewed cup and good company it can be quite pleasant. Also the sandwiches are so little and cute!
Xander: At some point there was a cooking demo. Murdock was a little, I quote, "OH NOES" when he found out Jennifer is a government agent, but he's not on her list, so that's okay then. BB thought he was silly, and he introduced her to his friend Socky. Dude, you have a friend named Socky too? I wonder if it's the same sock. Does it have lips?
The scary thing is that all that was before the actual convention started. Meaning yeah, before these people hit the open bar.
Beatrix gave a speech to start things off - my notes don't say whether that was pre or post bar. If it was me, I'd be going for both.
Rikku thought Hayden was Deadpool and was all confused when he didn't know her, then she met Murdock, then Rude told her about the no sex in the chopper rule. Then Reno interrupted to snark at his BFF. Later Rikku asked Deadpool if he was really Deadpool and not a Fred, because she was getting really sick of all the Fredpools running around. She also met Teatime, and asked Minsc who he was looking for.
Deadpool had what I'm sure was a very manly freakout about Teatime's eye, which I'm guessing has to be pretty weird since he's never freaked out over the one I don't have. Murdock was digging on his threads, and Beatrix asked Deadpool for some information on the town. Danny recognized him even though Deadpool didn't recognize Danny. Natasha did, though.
Fredpool Number One - aka Hayden tried to flirt with Natasha, but she was all "No, I have a cabana boy, kaythanx."
Murdock and Richard took advantage of the free booze, and Taskmaster teased Hayden about his beverage choices and if I never have to hear the words Cool Refreshing Zima again it'll be too soon, so I'm with ya, dude. There was also a hamster running along the bar. ...Beka, is that you?
I guess not, 'cause apparently his name's Boo. Taskmaster was way too sober to deal with him, but Kethry rescued him and finds out he belongs to Minsc. Hayden was worried there'd be a monkey chasing after Boo, and asked Minsc about a purple tattoo. Fredpool either needs less Zima or more.
Willow: You could see why a monkey chasing after a hamster would be problematic. For example, if there are no cameras around it is a waste of a perfectly good Youtube opportunity.
Xander: You have a point. In non-monkey news, Tarma asked Kethry why they signed up for this gig, and Hayden tried to pick Kethry up. She may or may not have mentioned cabana boys, but it was a definite stone-cold shutdown.
Fredpool Number Two aka Deathstroke showed up, and Rikku thought he was Deadpool too. I can see why this would start to get annoying.
Meanwhile there was a polar bear drinking booze from a bucket. Of course there was. See why I mentioned the possible tutus? BB, Tarma, and Boo the Hamster all introduced themselves.
And yes, in my head, that conversation went, "Hi, Fred. My name's Fred. Oh hey. Can I buy you a bucket of beer, Fred? Or possibly a white wine spritzer."
Me? I could go for the bucket of beer right about now.
Willow: You know those come in glass form. Much easier to carry.
Xander: Ok. I could go for a glass bucket of beer right about now. My boyfriend's in Barbados, not like I have anything better to do. Night, Fandom!
Willow: You could send him a postcard? And good night, Fandom! See you for the Superbowl Party on Sunday! Go Pats who were thoughtful enough to pick the color blue! Woohoo!
Xander: Ok, who slipped Willow the Zima. Fess up.
But from the squirrels, there is only silence.
Xander: ...Is this in any way similar to certain early confusion about how the game 'Doctor' is supposed to be played? Because you know the fun part of Cops and Robbers is usually less... smudgy.
Willow: Oh no. Do I have some on me still? You know the ink doesn't dry nearly fast enough.
Xander: This is me NOT LOOKING.
Willow: I still don't know how else you would play doctor.
Xander: Usually it doesn't involve a three page medical history and printing up a fake insurance card.
Willow: But then how do you make sure everything gets submitted properly?
Xander: I'm not sure that's the kind of submission whoever came up with it had in mind.
Willow: I don't think it's very nice to play a game and deliberately exclude people who can only afford Medicare.
Xander: When you charge for it, that's a different and slightly less age-appropriate game.
Willow: There are just so many reasons why we need universal health care. Anyway, on to the news!
School! Where we can neither confirm nor deny that the next detention will involve turning one's head and coughing.
Karal opened the library. Liir stopped by during first period to bring Karal and Altra lunch. Karal possibly thanked Liir by giving him a watch to remind him that first period takes place closer to breakfast. During second period Sam brought books back to their loving homes, and then got his guilt complex all over Karal's nice clean aura. Which Sam probably then felt extra guilty about and we can all cue the vicious cycle of shame and recriminations that ends with you doing something you'll regret for the rest of your life, like posting emo fanfiction about yourself and forgetting to log in as one of your sockpuppets. Or so I've heard.
Xander: THAT WAS YOU?
Willow: It was a very difficult time and because SHUT UP, that's why!
Art History talked about the art of Ancient Egypt, perhaps covering such topics as "Why is everyone facing sideways?" and "Amazing how after all this time and technology we haven't yet come up with something longer-lasting than some schmucks with a chisel and a rock." For class discussion they talk about what folks these days would bring to get them through the afterlife. I pick my computer and a copy of You: Getting Through The Afterlife.
The Art of Cool finishes dealing with their egg babies. That's kids for you. One day they're plopping out of an animal's no-no place, the next they're off to college. Everyone talks about their egg baby experience and then OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? Egg babies are neither for eating nor smashing! What sick freak told you that this was okay and had no terrifying psychological implications??
Xander: *sound of nonchalant whistling*
Willow: Oh. Wait. It's Barney and Tink's class. Well that offers an explanation, if not a sense of comfort. Ron and Reno then get into an egg baby fight, because the class wasn't disturbing enough, apparently.
My Country makes up histories for their countries. The noble nation of Gremlinistan has a long history of respecting arts, fine literature, and making cakes that look nothing like cakes yet are still yummy. Ronan lingers after, possibly to get cake recipes.
The most wonderful boyfriend in all the land calls the Student Council together to meet. They discuss the Valentine's Day dance and other Valentine's goodies. If said wonderful boyfriend is listening, he might find a positive answer to the question of whether he is going to this dance by himself. If he asked the right person, that is. By which I mean me. So we're clear.
Xander: Since when did Bridge join Student Council? And why would he ask you if he's going to the dance by himself which he's clearly not because he's going with me even though I haven't asked him yet hi Bridge wanna go to a Valentine's Dance?
Willow: The most wonderful boyfriend in all the land who also happens to have an accent? In more school news, Principal Washburn opens the Faculty meeting. Before the meeting everyone grabs a piece of pie and a beverage of some kind, except Tink who has crazy juice and inferior Peter's older brother who apparently considers himself too good for pie. Principal Washburn is still looking for suck..er, volunteers to run detention, and she warns people that they're not hallucinating if they notice a lot of mercenaries in town.
Xander: If they're wearing pink tutus and dancing a rhumba with a musk-ox.... you're probably still not hallucinating. Welcome to Fandom.
Willow: The office is open and full of hurt feelings. This is what happens when you don't give your highlighters enough love. Office hours are had by Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy, Richie, and Barney who tried to suck Biff, Vala, and Mr. Dean and Sam's Daddy into the world of Facebook. None of which is dirty. Well, some of Facebook is but that's beside the point.
Xander: And me without my no-touchy pole today. I guess I'll just have to not touch that with my fingers instead.
Meanwhile in the land where the students live so obviously nobody's getting Superpoked
Today in Dormville, Annette was practicing the fine art of post-breakup emo. That's emo, not Ino, who came by to offer to beat on Dick and dammit, I'm just gonna store the pole here from now on. Savannah offered to do some friendly ass-kicking - no, sorry, that says killing - too. Apparently it hasn't happened yet, since Annette was still groovin' to the emo when she boxed up Dick's stuff and Jack Burton came along to ... talk about her sex life. As you do when somebody's just broken up. Robin the Non-Canadian was doing some grooving of his own on the stairs before he got the breakup news too. No word on whether he asked about Annette's sex life, but somehow I'm going with no.
Willow: Do I need these mental images? I do not need these mental images.
Xander: Karal and Dean both spent quality time with their cats today, but Dean also got a Dawn. Those are good things to have. Even when they're yelling at you. Also, to prove that Willow's not the only one who has some problems interpreting certain concepts, Andrew and Liir had a ....reading date.
Willow: Aww, that sounds like fun!
My cooking study buddy and Bridge are up on the roof and set up a vacation spot, complete with a heater and s'mores. Bridge approves of the overall concept of being in Barbados-on-the-roof, particularly at this time of year. Cooking study buddy wishes Karal was here and Bridge lets Karal know he's having a great time. Hoshi thinks they're all insane but joins in anyway. Z attempts to emo but is distracted by the roof being used for purposes that do not involve bad poetry. Well, other than any limericks that might be on the postcards.
Xander: All I have to say is that somebody owes me a souvenir. And also that there'll be waffles at my place in the morning if somebody ever decides to come back to Fandom. And by morning of course I mean "Sometime before Caritas opens." Unlike certain other people who live one floor below me.
Town, Where The Crazy People Live.
One floor below me, The Robin Formerly Known As Canadian but now to be referred to as Crazy Lady Who Wakes Up And Does Stuff At Hours When All Sane People Should Still Be In Bed With Their Significant Police Officers.... did that. At a slightly more reasonable time that we like to call "afternoon," Makoto and Zuko headed to J,GoB for tasty baked goods. And at an even better time we like to call "evening," Deadpool and Arashi had some quality snuggle-time with beer and models. Are you listening, Crazy Lady Who Wakes Up And Does Stuff At Hours When All Sane People Should Still Be In Bed With Their Significant Police Officers? This is what sane people do. And then they got some visitors, who may or may not have joined in on the snuggling. I don't judge.
On a slightly less uncrazy note, Karal went out riding in the rain, and met up with Tarma and Kethry, two of the non-hallucinatory mercenaries we're supposed to be not hallucinating this weekend. No word on whether they were wearing pink tutus.
Willow: Were they riding musk oxes?
Xander: Maybe? Or possibly really big horsies.
AJ and Beauty went on a date to Fast Eddie's, where there was no reading reported - see? That's how you're supposed to play the dating game, kids. Over at the gym, Anakin and Jaina played a game where they beat each other with sticks, which is not my kind of game unless there's a puffy Xander suit involved.
Willow: Oh, sure, but you call reading dates weird.
Xander: We're not here to judge; we're just here to love like crazy, remember?
Yitzhak, Chad and Dr. Troy had slow days at Luke's, Groovy Tunes, and the clinic, but Rikku got visits from her boss and Jack Burton at Wellspring Arms. One of them tried to buy a gun and some variation on the words bitch, please may have been used. You guess which one.
Willow: Mitch sneeze? Pitch cheese? Ooo! Ditch fleas!
Xander: ...Yes, that one. And at the Trooper Station, Sheriff Ron Jer-- uh, Roy Mustang -- got a phone call and then a visit from Lieutenant Kerrigan, who wasn't all that thrilled about the mercenaries she's not hallucinating. Maybe she doesn't like tutus?
Giles opened the Magic Box and Dawn stopped by to say hi, which is the kind of news about Dawn that I like to report. Go you with the saying hi, Dawnster. Do that a lot.
Willow: What if she's leaving? Wouldn't that cause confusion?
Xander: She can say bye when she's leaving. This plan allows for a certain amount of flexibility.
Jen opened Pizza Planet, and Dawn didn't say hi to her but the new Pizza Overlord who I for one welcome, did. Liir ran Book Haven today, which I guess explains the reading date, and Michael stopped in and got to hear about how Liir cooked for Andrew. See, that's the kind of date I can get into. Not personally because there's this guy on vacation in Barbados that I've got an exclusive thing with, but you know, conceptually.
Speaking of that guy, Sky who is not that guy opened the banana stand, and that guy, who hadn't left for Barbados yet, brought him a squishy and talked to him about somebody named Dru. Who I hope is not the one I know, because I'm pretty cool with Fandom Island being crazy-vampire-free. Go us. Two months and counting.
Willow: Oo! We should have a sign! Only one with flippy numbers because you just know we'll have to reset it at some point.
Xander: At Caritas, Jolee checked to make sure there wasn't a bounty out on him, as you do, then he opened the bar. Steve did some grinning at somebody named Bucky, and then there was discussion of open bars and slinky dresses, and yeah, I've had weekends like that too. Not recently. Brooke came in for a drink and told Jolee that her drinking problem was called "high school."
That wasn't the only place people were boozing it up.
There's a Tutu Convention In Town, After All. Because We Don't Have Enough Crazy People. We Have To Ship Them In.
There's an open bar at the Merc Con. I'm guessing people didn't show up just for that, since a lot of them seemed to be hanging out on the causeway with the treat-scammer dog before they hit the hotel.
Willow: I still say Gaspode is very sweet.
Xander: Jennifer, Puss -- seriously? No, right, we're not judging. Murdock, Iorek, Hayden and Taskmaster, Richard, Gourry, May and Rally, Minsc, and Slade Wilson-- why does that name sound familiar? -- all showed up. Also somebody named Weasel was surprised that Cable's alive. Yeah, you get a lot of that around here, dude. Trust me.
Gunther opened up the Arms Hotel for them to check in and mingle. Rude - notjudgingnotjudgingnotjudging asked Puss if he knew a Reeve. Puss doesn't, and neither do I, but I don't know any of you people so that's probably less surprising. Puss also flirted with Jennifer and met Minsc.
Rude told Reno there'll be no sex in the chopper - this is the guy I offered to loan Rikku my pokey stick for head-upsiding, right? Good call, Rude. I non-sarcastically don't mock your name. I don't glare at you like Bucky, either. Beatrix wondered if Rude was a local, which shows that she isn't, and Teatime waved at him and these people have guns and pointy objects so I'm just gonna pretend they're all named Fred. Fred is a good non-snickery name. The Fred Formerly Known As Teatime also met the Fred Formerly Known as Puss and thought the Fred For-- too much words, going back to names. Just know that I'm calling you all Fred in my head. Teatime thought Taskmaster was Death. Was he invisible? Did he make condom water-balloons? No? Then he wasn't DEATH. And now you know.
Bucky wanted to put the luggage down, but Natasha told him no. Then she talked to Jennifer about him, possibly using the words "my cabana boy." I don't know. I wasn't there.
Puss met Beatrix and BB, and Beatrix wasn't all that impressed with Teatime. It's a trend, because Jennifer told Murdock his taste was kind of untasty. Taskmaster and Hayden doubleyouteefed at having to share a room, and Taskmaster and Jennifer talked about being secure and the Spice Girls, and now I'm not sure who should be questioning whose taste.
Willow: I vote for the people who don't like teatime. With a properly brewed cup and good company it can be quite pleasant. Also the sandwiches are so little and cute!
Xander: At some point there was a cooking demo. Murdock was a little, I quote, "OH NOES" when he found out Jennifer is a government agent, but he's not on her list, so that's okay then. BB thought he was silly, and he introduced her to his friend Socky. Dude, you have a friend named Socky too? I wonder if it's the same sock. Does it have lips?
The scary thing is that all that was before the actual convention started. Meaning yeah, before these people hit the open bar.
Beatrix gave a speech to start things off - my notes don't say whether that was pre or post bar. If it was me, I'd be going for both.
Rikku thought Hayden was Deadpool and was all confused when he didn't know her, then she met Murdock, then Rude told her about the no sex in the chopper rule. Then Reno interrupted to snark at his BFF. Later Rikku asked Deadpool if he was really Deadpool and not a Fred, because she was getting really sick of all the Fredpools running around. She also met Teatime, and asked Minsc who he was looking for.
Deadpool had what I'm sure was a very manly freakout about Teatime's eye, which I'm guessing has to be pretty weird since he's never freaked out over the one I don't have. Murdock was digging on his threads, and Beatrix asked Deadpool for some information on the town. Danny recognized him even though Deadpool didn't recognize Danny. Natasha did, though.
Fredpool Number One - aka Hayden tried to flirt with Natasha, but she was all "No, I have a cabana boy, kaythanx."
Murdock and Richard took advantage of the free booze, and Taskmaster teased Hayden about his beverage choices and if I never have to hear the words Cool Refreshing Zima again it'll be too soon, so I'm with ya, dude. There was also a hamster running along the bar. ...Beka, is that you?
I guess not, 'cause apparently his name's Boo. Taskmaster was way too sober to deal with him, but Kethry rescued him and finds out he belongs to Minsc. Hayden was worried there'd be a monkey chasing after Boo, and asked Minsc about a purple tattoo. Fredpool either needs less Zima or more.
Willow: You could see why a monkey chasing after a hamster would be problematic. For example, if there are no cameras around it is a waste of a perfectly good Youtube opportunity.
Xander: You have a point. In non-monkey news, Tarma asked Kethry why they signed up for this gig, and Hayden tried to pick Kethry up. She may or may not have mentioned cabana boys, but it was a definite stone-cold shutdown.
Fredpool Number Two aka Deathstroke showed up, and Rikku thought he was Deadpool too. I can see why this would start to get annoying.
Meanwhile there was a polar bear drinking booze from a bucket. Of course there was. See why I mentioned the possible tutus? BB, Tarma, and Boo the Hamster all introduced themselves.
And yes, in my head, that conversation went, "Hi, Fred. My name's Fred. Oh hey. Can I buy you a bucket of beer, Fred? Or possibly a white wine spritzer."
Me? I could go for the bucket of beer right about now.
Willow: You know those come in glass form. Much easier to carry.
Xander: Ok. I could go for a glass bucket of beer right about now. My boyfriend's in Barbados, not like I have anything better to do. Night, Fandom!
Willow: You could send him a postcard? And good night, Fandom! See you for the Superbowl Party on Sunday! Go Pats who were thoughtful enough to pick the color blue! Woohoo!
Xander: Ok, who slipped Willow the Zima. Fess up.
But from the squirrels, there is only silence.
no subject
"Dear Xander and Willow: A most excellent broadcast, as per usual. However, it seems the squirrels got one minor detail wrong. Anders and I are not on the roof of any buildings here in Barbados. We're camping out on the beach tonight. We'll see you soon, and of *course* there will be souvenirs. Love from, Bridge."