WTFH

Good morning everyone!

*annoyed chittering*

Oh, I'm sorry, am I being too loud? Leroy, you don't have to drink all of Summer's shots to impress her. That seems like a bad life choice. And potentially fatal, since you're a squirrel.

*sulky chittering*

Let's get to the notes, okay? Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves here on Boracay. People like Amaya were enjoying the beach, others like Astrid took advantage of the all day snorkeling trip, and a bunch of you went over to the water park that was in the ocean. And a few even went for mermaid lessons. I'll bet Sidon was a hit there. Summer and Amaya hosted a small party in their room before the pub crawl. Seivarden checked to be sure Amaya was feeling better before agreeing to try every version of the Jello shots Summer had made.

That...was also a choice. Shunsui offered Amaya sake, Rosa tried to convince Seivarden that she'd had nothing to do with her falling off a cliff, Rosa exchanged one-word greetings with Lucifer, who was delighted to be taking part in a pub craw. Lucifer then teased Seivarden about her overprotection of Amaya, and Summer was a little worried that Lexi was going to drink alcoholic Jello when she came in with Kitty. Kitty assured her, and Rosa, that Lexi was only there temporarily and to be used as an excuse if the pub crawl got to be too much.

Which is how a whole bunch of people ended up at the Area 51 Secret Party Facility last night. Sabine and Lana preferred to spend the evening together on the beach, instead.

And that's everything! Drink plenty of water this morning, everyone, and I'll see you at the gym.

*chittering*

"It'll be a cold day in hell first" is inappropriate, Leroy--

Good morning, everyone, it's Steve Rogers back for your usual Thursday news.

*concerned chittering*

You should see the other guy. I'm fine, Leroy, and let me extend my apologies to our Leadership class for missing it on Tuesday. I was in the hospital.

*more chittering*

And I'm heading back to bed after this, too. Did Tony pay you to make sure of that?

*suspicious silence*

Uh huh.

In classes, Bird Haberdashery made tiny boater hats for hummingbirds--that sounds adorable--Rosa's class learned to ride motorcycles, and Anakin's Sex Ed class talked about the responsibility of parenthood after a week of taking care of fake children.

In town, Amaya was working on a scimitar at the forge, Alluka was prepping new inventory at Pixie Dust, Shunsui was looking the pages he'd written for his novel at T&C, and Summer was at Caritas with Jello shots and snake jazz last night. Lucifer stopped in to try the Jello shots and make plans with summer for after the bar closed, Summer got to explain sex pollen to Cait while feeding him a mai tai, and Rey checked in from space to make sure that the pollen was gone. And Seivarden came in for whiskey and a chance to talk about the dates she's been set up on at the dating event on Saturday. I'm not really sorry to have missed that, honestly, but I'm glad people had some good, clean fun.

*chittering*

I didn't need to know that, Leroy. Have a good week, everyone.

Good morning and welcome to today's installment of I Can't Believe These Are Classes. Plus some other things. Rosa's class discussed the best forms of greetings if you're trying to make an impression. Dr. Banner's "Hulk Smash!" certainly works, but I think only if you're Dr. Banner. Anakin's Sex Education course did presentations on sexually transmitted diseases, which is very timely leading into Valentine's Day next week, and Bird Hats made Derby hats for a flock of very cranky kiwis.

In town, Amaya is selling metal flowers for Valentine's Day--those sound amazing, actually--and Alluka is back on the island running the newly renamed Pixie Dust. Octavia was at T&C for her weekly dose of sake and conversation with Shunsui, and Summer was trying to get Tino not to talk at all during her shift at Caritas. Seivarden asked Summer to become her Instagram friend--I have one! I posted a picture of a cute dog once and accidentally broke the site. I don't use it much.

*chittering*

I'm sure I'd just break it again if I put up a picture of a squirrel in a fedora, Leroy.

Amaya came in for the free drinks in honor of "Intergalactic Booze Up Your Blacksmith Day," and convinced Seivarden into another drinking competition. So I wouldn't make loud noises around either of them today.

And that's everything! Talk to you next week.

Good morning, everyone! Let's see what you did in the strangest collection of classes I've ever reported on.

*chittering*

That is a lovely fez, Leroy. I'm sorry I didn't mention it earlier. You got it, apparently, from a turkey that didn't want to wear it in Advanced Haberdashery. Octavia stopped by after class to confirm that Duke really was teaching a class of students to put hats on birds. Rosa's class was told to get out and learn something rather than sit in the classroom, and Sex Education got to put condoms on zucchinis. That sounds...educational.

The dorms were quiet, and in town, Summer was wearing a cute pair of boots--but that's from Leroy, so take that with a grain of salt--at Caritas, and Shunsui was trying to get Octavia to also buy some boots at Turtle & Canary. Amaya was forging a sword as big as she was, and Nina was fulfilling her mandate from Rosa's class by going to the Perk to learn things. Astrid joined her and they discussed the open-ended possibilities of an assignment that was just "learn something."

And that's it from yesterday. Have a good rest of the week!

Good morning, everyone, this is Steve Rogers with the news. Hopefully everyone's feeling a little better today, and if not, can I suggest heading down to the pet store and playing with some puppies? Our dog has been really great for that kind of thing the last few days.

Classes started back up yesterday, even though Duke and Anakin had been hanging over a volcanic pit twelve hours or so before. Way to walk it off, guys. Anakin's sexual education class focused on not seducing goat demons...really?!

*chittering*

The students were apparently just as confused. And Duke is teaching Advanced Bird Haberdashery.

*loooooooooooooooong pause*

I'm glad to see we're all back to normal, then. Duke's class had to make hats for porgs and Duke had to take a moment to hope that Juillenne's friend Camden doesn't eat the birds this semester. Rey stopped by to check in on both Anakin and Duke after their classes, which led to an impromptu yoga day on the beach for Duke to attempt to relax.

And Rosa was teaching Bad A--really, these are the classes today?

*chittering*

Language. Her class on...self-esteeming boosting...got side-tracked when her visual presentation ended up full of terrible Baby Boomer humor comics and they had to discuss if having your phone programmed to make fart noises when you get a notification makes elevator rides funnier.

Barton, you want to weigh in on this?

Sidon was rehydrating in his tank in his room today--days in a volcano cannot have been great for you--and Prompto stopped by with rice-less sushi.

*chittering*

Fish, right.

In town, Shunsui admitted to Octavia that teaching his pacifism class might be a hard sell now that the non-violent solution so very clearly failed on Tuesday. Summer--welcome back, Summer!--was at Caritas with a special on lava flow shots. Seivarden came by to drink tequila and very specifically not drink the special and they caught up a bit about how the plant Summer had left behind was still alive and how Leroy had pined for her while she was away.

*defensive chittering*

Oh, now you're concerned with people's private lives, huh? Rey and Summer caught up and commiserated about how their returns to the island had coincided with invasions of creepy toys. Sorry to hear that. And Tony and I took the day to ourselves and that's all I'm going to tell you. So did Liam and Verity.

And that's everything! Let's try for a very uneventful rest of the week, okay?

Hello everyone, and welcome to exam week at school.

*sounds of warbling gremlin carol singers*

...and the gremlins are back, so be extremely complimentary of their skills if you don't want to be bitten. Good job everyone on not burning the school down yesterday with all the candles in the windows--Lana was glad to avoid them in the library--and Rey stopped her gremlin assistant from lighting my house on fire, so good work, Rey. Over at the Perk, Prompto was looking through all the photos he's taken over this very odd December. Sabine came in to apologize to the barista for trying to fix a non wine-and-coffee drink last week and was pretty sure they'd messed up her latte again on purpose despite that. And Iris came in to say hi, but Prompto was more excited about the chicken--

*chittering*

Chocobo? Sure. That she had with her. And that's all we have today! Good luck on your exams.

So it turns out that if you have a puppy with absolutely no impulse control and an island insisting on putting chocolate behind every door, your morning is a little more exciting than it should be. Good morning, everyone. It's Steve Rogers and welcome to another weird Monday in Fandom.

Yesterday brought us powdered sugar snow and I can't explain how much of it our dog ate but I'm hopeful he'll stop vibrating by Christmas. Over at school, Lana was trying to learn something at the library becaue the lack of classes for the past few days had made her cranky--

*chittering*

That's not being a nerd. That's being eager to learn and that should be encouraged, Leroy. In town, Rey was not thrilled about what powdered sugar was doing to her hair. Duke's back from his Thanksgiving adventures and Octavia was there to tell him how her very first baking experiment turned out.

*chittering*

Edible? Good job, Octavia! Tony and I haven't achieved that for pie ourselves just yet.

*awkward pause*

That's all we have today? Oh. Well I guess we'll just fill the time with some music. Leroy, you pick.

*sounds of "Dominic the Donkey" over Steve's "NOT THAT ONE" protests*

Good morning, everyone. It's Steve Rogers, back to my usual size and I hope that's true for the rest of you as well.

*chittering*

The squirrels say that all the snacks the smaller yous were giving them were appreciated. Now let's get to the notes.

In the library, Lana was her normal self, but all of the books had become children's literature. Rosa came in to return her...Russian-English dictionary and book on dog-training, and then check out any books Lana might have on being a Russian ballerina spy. Did she get a biography about Natasha? Do they have a biography on Natasha?

*chittering*

Sorry. A friend of mine is a Russian ballerina spy. She's really swell. You'd like her. Sabine who was covered in paint from decorating her room--hope that doesn't look as bad this morning as it sounds--stopped into the library and got scared by the books hopping around her. This place is a lot for a small person. Nell made herself at home in Lana's lap and got story time.

In the dorms, there was a party on the roof, which seems just horribly unsafe. Trevor was up there harvested pillows from the pillow tree?

*chittering*
Makes as much sense as anything else around here. He got into an argument with Sabine about how stealthy she could really be at five. Keyleth was still her normal self, but up for making a pillow fort anyway.

*angry chittering*

Hey now, I am not knocking a good pillow fort. I was stuck in one for an entire weekend, once.

In town, Octavia was out exploring again since her big brother chose unwisely to sleep in. She discovered the candy at Wonka's and her decision with Duke to go back to his boat for disguises to go inside got them derailed onto talking about getting yelled at by adults. Octavia and Shunsui had a very important debate about being a duck versus being a flamingo, Rey coaxed Octavia out of her hiding place, and then Octavia showed Liam all of the toys at the comic shop.

Speaking of Rey, she took time from her shift at Stark's to fix up my black eye that I'd gotten for having a big mouth and zero ability to walk away from a fight as a kid.

*dubious chittering*

I can walk away from a fight now. I just...don't always choose to. Liam was down on the beach. Shunsui was very happy to learn Liam knew Japanese, Duke warned him about getting kidnapped by mermen, and still-her-normal-self Beau checked up on the apparently random child out by himself near the water.

And that's everything the squirrels caught yesterday! Have a good, normal week, everyone.

--and after we're done here, you can join me and Patriot on a run--

*vehement chittering*

Your loss. Running is excellent exercise and a much healthier form of stress relief than---

*VERY VEHEMENT CHITTERING*

I'm not taking the flask, Leroy, relax.

*chittering*

...of course we've been recording. Hello, everyone, this is Steve Rogers with your news of a much quieter Sunday.

In the library, Lana was working around books doing turkey impressions. In town, Rey was at Stark Industries after booking a trip home. Octavia was on the beach enjoying the brisk weather and got to meet Arlo 2, out for a walk with Rosa. Robot dog?

*chittering*

Regular dog with a fondness for licking clown blood. You can't see it, but I'm looking grossed out. Rey came by after her shift and Octavia showed her a sketch of a tattoo she was thinking of getting and then they talked about how very many places Earth has to explore. I'm from here and I'm still blown away by it all.

And that's everything? Great! That means I can run even longer this morning! Have a safe week, everyone.

Good morning everyone, it's Steve Rogers again and, um. Skip the coffee this morning. Trust me on this.

*chittering*

And also probably avoid Tony Stark. He's gonna be crabby. Yesterday was pretty quiet as everyone adjusted to being back post-trip, but Jack hosted a brunch with bubble waffles, a thing I have never heard of until right this second.

*chittering*

They don't float into space. The squirrels are as disappointed about that as I am. Duke was there to try 'em out, and he and Jack got into a conversation about interior design--really?

*chittering*

Huh. Didn't see that coming, and then various definitions of what home means. Summer checked in with Kanan at Luke's, where he was in charge of supervising flatcake preparations. After a couple of jump scares too many in a place full of sharp weapons, Amaya relocated to the Perk yesterday, much to Seivarden's surprise. Hannibal got a visit from Sparkle at home and caught him up on "Toronto things"--hmm?

*extensive chittering*

The squirrels apparently have a scary-looking chart to keep track of this. I'm not sure I need to get that involved, guys, but I appreciate your attention to detail. And that's everything for the day! Welcome back to classes, everyone, and...try some tea.

Good morning, everyone, this is Steve Rogers and you can tell by my voice that it's already one of those days, so guy...presenting...folks.

*frantic chittering*

And squirrels. Yeah. It's not just you.

*awkward pause*

Leroy, please stop petting my hair. It's kinda invasive.

So let's get to the news of yesterday where everyone's bits were their...usual bits. I normally spend zero time thinking about them in general. I'm just putting that out there in a clearly futile effort to make this less weird. Up at the school, the library books' good behavior for last weekend was completely gone this one. My sympathies, Lana. In town, Luke's had the normal pancake special, but there were also waffles. Tisarwat stopped in to explore the vast world of Earth breakfast food, so no one ruin it by giving her Cream of Wheat, okay? Sparkle was desperate for a distraction at Demon Marcus and got one in the form of Kaidan bringing pastries, and Hannibal stopped by later with lunch. Kaidan was dodging porgs on the beach, and Liam--hi, Liam!--complimented him on his technique. Owen was talking to the furniture at the book store--no notes about it talking back--and Atton was concentrating very hard on not paying attention to the Caritas zombies. Finally, Rey has a new gremlin assistant on her shifts at Stark's and that is probably slightly worrisome, speaking as a guy who lives there on non-Rey days. Guess I need to open negotiations with him now, too?

*chittering*

No, I'm not going to offer to let him pet my hair. Stop being creepy, Leroy. Let's hope this is all worn off by tomorrow.

Good morning, Fandom! For those of you hiding under blankets and praying that our ridiculousness had maybe escaped the squirrels--welcome back, by the way-- and their notebooks, well. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but they have the receipts.

Literally. Apparently they charge double for weird weekends.

*pointed chittering*

Yes, I remember that in the contract. I apologize. Let's just get started, okay, and then we can all mutually agree to never discuss this again.

The school was quiet, but in the dorms, Nina had set up a maze in the second floor common room to give her...jelly demon and Vette, who's still a bird, some Mortal Peril to travel through.

*chittering*

The squirrels think it's worth noting that Nina was completely herself. Just...going with it. Shuri stopped in to see if Nina had any news on Wayne and his Amazing Destiny this weekend, and Nina honed right in on why Shuri would be so invested. There was a lot of overly complicated romantic plot lines this weekend.

*chittering*

We'll get to my own idiocy in a bit, okay? Sabine was a little confused at first about who she should talk to in a common room without men, but recovered enough to tell Nina the best way to attract a boyfriend was by changing everything about herself.

*long pause*

I think we all know today that that is terrible advice, right? It was kind of terrible yesterday, too, to be honest. Sidon burst into the common room to announce to Vette--still a bird, by the way--that he has renounced the crown in order to be with her. Nina was annoyed because he ruined the plotline she already had going with the maze and the jelly demon and...yeah. At least Sabine was happy about the romantic declaration?

And speaking of romantic declarations, let's head to town where Jaina and Tahiri were getting married. There were several people in terrible bridesmaids dresses, Sidon had his romantic revelation, and secret prince Anakin--complete with purple hair--was putting the moves on Octavia. I'm sure that'll be completely not embarrassing this morning. Speaking of not embarrassing, Rey made a passionate declaration of love to Luke at the reception and did not get killed by either bride, so good job, Rey! Oh, and the brides got married, which was somehow the least dramatic part of the day.

Atton was in his right mind and opened Caritas, which meant he got to hear about Sia's woes and how she might need more than just a part-time fake boyfriend.

There was a shoot-out in the clinic, so can everyone check on Breq and Tisarwat today? Rey raced over to Duke-the-actual-duke-apparently's boat to tell him all about her new love life and then they got chatting about how things might have been if they weren't so very committed to being just friends and I think we've all seen at least three Lifetime movies about how this ends.

*chittering*

There's nothing wrong with Lifetime movies!

And speaking of Lifetime movies, Tony tried to annul our marriage--we aren't married--and there was a lot of...oh, the squirrels have flags out again. Yeah, it was a little much, and also none of your business.

And that's it. Everyone get out from under the covers, go down and buy some "sorry I was out of my mind this weekend" cards and start moving on. This is Steve Rogers, no longer a penniless hero with a troubled past, and I'm going for a run.

Hello again, this is is Steve Rogers and...several gremlins in neckties. That's new. Let's just get to the notes before they bite me--

*gremlin snarls*
*sounds of chomping*
*two minutes of dead air*
*Blue's Clues theme music*

Oh, okay! So to play Blue's Clues we gotta find a---

*awkward pause*

Pawprint! Right! Because that's the first--

*even more awkward pause*

Clue! And we have one right here!

In the books that were hiding during Owen's shift. Yeah! And we put it in our notebook because they're who's clues?

*yeah, nothing*

Blue's Clues! Atton had a coffee at the bar, but that's not a clue because coffee and bars are not appropriate for kids! Ooh, our second clue is a pancake at Luke's! Even though Kanan wasn't there, Jack and Fjord were there. Everyone say "Fjord" with me, okay? Fjooooooooord.

*silence*

I think we need that song again, right? We put it in our notebook because they're who's clues?

*so much silence. So much*

Blue's Clues!

Mail time...mail time...MA-I-L TIIIIME!
*jaunty yet terrifying mail-themed song, sung with great vigor by Steve*

What's in the mail today? Oh. It's a...mean note about Rey because she made the gremlins watching her feel bad about just doing their jobs, and that's not very nice. And kind of strange, for a kid's show.

And our final clue was in the library with Lana! It's a...labor manifesto!

I was not expecting that. But we're sitting in our Thinking Chair and think, think, thi-i-nk! Cause when we use our minds and take a step at a time, we can do anything that we want to do! Okay, it's clue time! We have books, pancakes, labor manifesto.

Books. Pancakes. Labor manifesto.

*awkward pause*

♪♪ We can't figure out Blue's Clues,
We can't figure out Blue's Clues,
We can't figure out Blue's Clues,
Because they're really WEIRD! ♪♪

*click!*

[OOC: I REGRET NOTHING. Thanks to Bella for the amaaaaaazing song ending for this bit of crack.]

Good morning, everyone! Do you know what is lots of fun? Being woken up by giant squirrels and dragged from your apartment with no warning! I am very awake right now! This is Steve Rogers, by the way, and I am sure that our normal broadcasters are just fine right now. Wherever they might happen to be.

Let's get to all of the fun from yesterday, okay?

Since Dean Skywalker isn't around any more, the potato-vampire from Devil's Nest hosted this week's shenanigan class! How public-minded of Mr. Northman! Everyone was divided into four teams to play Sorry, and good old-fashioned fun was had by everyone!

Speaking of fun, Nina was hosting a party on the boardwalk just afterward. People arrived and mingled, of course, like Mae and Tip--Tip made sure to compliment Sabine on her capture of a Bad Toy yesterday--and Nina and Sabine decided that even though that capture had been great, the real guest of honor at this party was fun and not Sabine. Okuyasu made sure to tell Nina how shiny she was, which is...an approach...and Detective Ballerina Diaz was directed to the food and the hugging booths. Sidon was very enthusiastic about the idea of a party on the boardwalk, and Prompto was just enthusiastic in general, but especially about the hugging booths. Astrid was there to be sure everyone was having fun, especially Wayne, and that is very...dedicated of you, Astrid!

There were, as advertised, hugging booths, which sounds fun and appropriate! Nina had one, of course, and Mae, Sabine, and Wayne. I'm so glad everyone was having fun. Prompto was even getting the dance party started! But after the party was over, Prompto was convinced that Nina wasn't really the Good Toy she said she was--

*awkward silence*

I'm sure it'll all turn out okay. Well. Okay. Um. Bye?





[OOC: And for posterity and BDE reading in The Future, the NFB posts for Team Not Brainwashed anymore in Kanan's warehouse and Steve & Tony's place.]

Good morning, everyone, Steve Rogers here because the normal reporter is on a fact-finding mission with Sidon, apparently.

*chittering*

The squirrels are calling it a vacation, but my note from Ms Geller suggests otherwise. I leave it up to you, folks. Yesterday found Tip discovering that the library's education section was on strike in solidatory with the teachers around the country who are walking out in protest of substandard wages and inadequate supplies. Good for you, books, and good for you, Tip, for going on strike too. In town Rosa was catching up on some recreational reading in between reports on squirrel crimes--

*outraged chittering*

You are not being profiled. Don't be ridiculous. And at Luke's, Eliot was checking to be sure they weren't serving cat food for the daily special, which...seems like a story I should have more information about.

*chittering*

But I don't, so I'm going to just assume Eliot wouldn't violate health codes like that and wish you all a very pleasant day.

Good morning everyone, it's Steve Rogers again, and I'm in a weirdly Leroy-free booth today.

*chittering*

He's gone to the Iowa State Fair. That's...strangely specific. Well, classes are out this week, so everything was quiet up at the school. In the dorms, everyone's too busy packing to talk to each other, I'm guessing, and so that just leaves us with town, where Atton returned home to MHA to get greeted by his roommate Sparkle.

*chittering*

--not dirty? I hadn't been thinking it was dirty. Alluka and her stuffed elephant weren't pleased with the dress choices at Demon Marcus. I've said stranger things, but not all that recently, gotta say. Finally, the cooks at Luke's are getting ready for another run at Jono and Hannibal's wedding.

*chittering*

Apparently the latest squirrel projections give it a...30 percent chance of happening, but they're squirrels and drunk at 8 o'clock in the morning, so I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be taken all that seriously. Enjoy your wedding, gentlemen.

Good morning, everyone. It's Steve Rogers again, here to tell you all about yesterday before I get to go back to watching the Olympics. I didn't even know you could be an Olympic kayaker. This is incredible.

In classes, Flight and Flying learned to pilot drones, Relationships decided you can't use national Olympic loyalties in order to win an argument. What, like, "Michael Phelps has more golds than the actual nation of Germany, so I win?" I can see that working on a couple people, but only if they were going to let you win anyway. Finally, Practical Philosophy discussed judging other people.

In the dorms, Cassandra and Dante had a Conversation in the dorm stairwell. Was the capitalization really necessary?

*chittering*

Apparently it was. And Ringo stopped by Dante's room to catch up. About other, non-stairwell-related things, I'm guessing.

In town, Tony and Hardison got together for...something. The notes are vague. Probably not pizza, though, because Hardison is very, very wrong about what he considers good pizza. Speaking of pizza, or at least Italian, Dr. Lecter's community center class headed to Milan to enjoy some. Jaina ended her island run covered in sand due to the sweat she worked up. Did you also get a mouthful of gnats? Because that's the worst.

*appalled chittering*

Well, I'm sorry I ruined the illusion for you, Leroy. The horses over at the Gig still wouldn't go outside because of the screaming sun from a few weeks back, so Dani watched the Olympics and waited for the sun to go down before giving them their exercise. And finally, Mary had to encounter Gunther doing his impression of the Tongan flag bearer--

*audible squirrel shuddering*

--which is a mental image, for sure. Yikes. Sorry, Mary. And on that rather disturbing note, I'm out of news. Have a safe week, everyone.

Good morning again, everyone. It's Steve Rogers again with the news from yesterday, starting with classes!

*chittering*

No, I don't thinking reporting about my morning run is really all that noteworthy.

*chittering*

Leroy, your ogling is making me uncomfortable. Flight class went out to see an air show in South Dakota, Relationships for Dummies discussed patience, and Practical Philosophy talked about friendship. You could use some patience in friendship, too. I can hear you laughing from here, Buck.

Lucille turned into a moth in the dorms--a moth sized moth or a people-sized moth? Because it matters--and in town, International Cuisine went for Swedish at a place I'm not gonna even try to pronounce. Hannibal and Kanan talked about food as art, and Mary checked to be sure not eating red meat wasn't insulting to anyone. Dani had trouble working because of the overwhelming smell of cheese--it is pretty pungent--and Eliot came back from the dentist to a diner full of people who wanted him to talk, which was kind of cruel.

And that's all of the news I've got! Enjoy your week, everyone.

Good morning, everyone. It's Steve Rogers again with your news of yesterday. Which we all remember. Hopefully.

The weekend was awful. Fortunately we've moved near a planet with half the gravity, so you can go over and bounce around and feel a little bit better about life.

In classes, Andrew Skywalker poked at our collective memory of losing our memories in his Practical Philosophy course and made his students talk about what they'd learned about themselves through the weekend. I learned I need to put my identification somewhere prominent or Tony and I leap to extremely wrong conclusions about why I have a costume in my closet. Relationships for Dummies did class introductions because they'd canceled class for the 4th of July--

*EXTREMELY PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING*

Thanks, squirrels. When did Leroy learn how to ride a bald eagle while holding a fake bazooka?

*chittering*

College. Huh. I have a lot of follow-up questions now. Flight class practiced trying to catch a flight in a commercial airport--good luck--and Dr. Lecter took his community center class to Japan for sushi. Sushi's on my list to try!

Town was quiet, but a couple of students were out.

*chittering*

Sorry, no, Dante was not out. Dante was hiding in his bubblehut trying to avoid processing the weekend. Roscoe was trying to move back into the dorms but kept getting distracted by a phone app instead.

...and that's everything! Have a good, safe week. Go bounce your frustrations out on the new planet. It really works.

Good morning, everyone. Is it comfortable sleeping in those bubble things? They look kind of fun...

*chittering*

Right. Onto the news.

Classes are over for the week, so the only thing happening up at the school were young adult novels giggling at Lucille in the library. Y'know, that's never going to be normal to repeat. Hyacinthe was packing in his room and turned into an actual flower--

--not getting less strange, here, Fandom.

In town, Dani raced through her chores so that she would have time to race her horse on a planetoid. Gunther cheered Mary up after she learned a New York hotel shut down, and Eliot was dealing with Parker and Hardison having turned into a ferret and a teddy bear over at the diner. Is this sort of thing contagious? Am I going to wake up and have turned into a --

*chittering*

--why a golden retriever?

*chittering*

--or fuzzy duckling?

*chittering*

You know, I'm sorry I asked. Tony and Eliot bonded over how much they both disliked the day we all had to tell the entire truth, and how it's possible to hug Tamsin and survive it. Bet she doesn't want the rest of us to know that.

And that's all I've got today, everyone. Stay safe on the planetoid, okay?

Good morning, everyone, Steve Rogers here to report on what happened yesterday. I feel like I should be saying "Dateline" every time I start this or something...

*beep-be-beep noises*

Thanks, Leroy, that really helps set the mood.

In classes yesterday, Music Appreciation talked about cathartic music--I really am sorry about the wedding, guys, by the way--and Flight class went down to the planet of the week to fly speeder bikes. Extreme PE learned about rappelling down mountains head first, which sounds amazing, maybe I'll do that after radio. I need to get in my daily run anyway....and Healthy Relationships learned about how to make problems not all about you.

Wade, sounds like you might be in trouble, buddy.

The dorms were quiet, and in town, Tony picked up a new employee named Peridot at the shop. PeriDOT? PeriDOH? Hope I got it right, either way. Alluka was working on her rollerskate things at Demon Marcus when Dante came by to talk about the wedding and then more broadly about how people treat Alluka. At the stables, Dani was excited to explore the new planet, and at the Devil's Nest, Jack was having trouble with suppliers who weren't all that thrilled with all of our interdimensional travel. Eric offered to threaten 'em for him, and I'm...just gonna assume he meant that in the hypothetical.

*squirrelly snickers*

What do you mean by "newb," Leroy? I don't think that's even a word. Finally, Mary was eating jar after jar of peanut butter at the hotel while glaring at Gunther, and I'm going to assume there's some kind of backstory there that I know nothing about. That's it for the radio! Have a safe rest of the week, everyone, especially if you are off exploring a new planet...which no, hasn't gotten less fun to say.

Good morning, everyone. It's Steve Rogers back again with the news of yesterday, so let's get to it, all right?

In classes, Music Appreciation talked about war songs. I'm really, really hoping most of you can't relate. They discussed songs being related to particular wars, and then Gratuity asked Jono what Disney was--apparently in her universe it's known as Happy Mouse. Flight and Flying tried to keep a freighter in the air, Extreme PE went cave diving, and Healthy Relationships had Deadpool as a substitute teacher. Why do I feel like that last one was the most dangerous? They watched a movie and then Ada explained a bit about the world to Hyacinthe, who didn't know what a movie, a phone, or body glitter was.

I would have probably skipped the body glitter part.

The dorms were quiet, but in town, Dani went on a horse-related online shopping spree, Jones read about Alexander Hamilton, who I did not know, so I'm nipping that age-related joke in the bud, Mary did a pillowcase inventory and came up 29 extra--

*guilty-sounding chittering*

I'm not even going to ask, guys. Eliot was putting the final touches on the tasting menu for Jono and Hannibal's reception, Hanna fought against the depressing Music Appreciation music today with some peppy tunes at the music store, and Kenzi was making flaming drinks while fighting with people on the internet. JARVIS tries to make me stop fighting with people on the internet, but it's tough because they're so so wrong. Jessica was a little wary about the fiery drinks but tried one anyway and caught Kenzi up with her rather adventurous life recently.

And that's all I've got today. Be safe, everyone.

*snickering*

Hey, I'm allowed to base jump without a parachute. I can survive it--

Good morning, everyone! I'm Steve Rogers with the news from yesterday.

Classes started back up again, and we started with Music Appreciation, where students had to come up with songs with interesting musical introductions, and then talked about the music that Dr. Lecter and Mr. Starsmore had played for them. Flight and Flying also did introductions--names and their favorite thing to fly--before learning about something called an X-Wing and taking it through an asteroid field or some kind of trench run. Extreme PE had to choose between skiing and snowboarding after introducing themselves with the most foolhardy thing they'd ever done. Bucky, I'm not looking for suggestions about me from you or from you either, Stark. Jalian needed some help to figure out the difference between skiing and snowboarding--I think it's the number of pieces of wood attached to your feet, right? And Vanessa--I met you! Hello!--told her Relationships class that she had no idea what to teach them. That's one approach, for sure. The students helped her out a bit by telling her what they wanted to learn about.

In the dorms, Lucille has recovered from being a moth--new people, that will soon sound less weird, I promise. Ringo visited and told her that she'd missed an entire week, including the picnic, and classes had started up again. I know that feeling of disorientation.

In town, Vanessa and Deadpool discovered that they've stolen a cop's apartment.

*heavy sigh*

Moving on. Tony put some projects on the back-burner because Jessica hasn't returned yet--sounds like something to worry about, maybe--Alluka tried to come up with an outfit that would be iconic forever at Demon Marcus, and Eliot had to suffer through his co-workers awwing about their mothers via Facebook posts at the diner until Kanan came in, lured by the promise of free food for newcomers. Kenzi was also offering the newcomers drink specials at Caritas, with a bigger discount for the teachers, which is very nice of her.

And finally, Clint and Kitty visited the nearby planet...that's never going to be weird to say...and stopped at the Blue Recluse Inn and discussed whether they had a non-dirty way of touch-- I didn't need to read that. Ever. Why did you give me that note?

*chittering*

I am not adorable when I blush, Leroy. That's all I have for this morning, everyone. Enjoy your classes today.

Good morning, everyone. Hope your days are a little quieter today without the sounds of small people flinging themselves off of high surfaces.

*chittering*

Apparently that was mostly confined to my house. Oh well. In classes, Computer Science got to program the Danger Shop for their final, and Kitty brought her daughter Chrissie with her to class. Practical Phys Ed had Fred telling the students he used to be part of a group called the Thunderbolts--is that a superhero group or rock band? I need to look it up--and then run through something that, according to the notes, "totally wasn't a bank robbery, really."

*long pause*

You can't tell, but I'm looking pretty dubious right now. And Lying wrapped up the year by assuring the students and all of their progeny that lying is really, really bad. Good. And Lito's son Diego left him a drawing he did. That's really sweet. I have one Yeehaw Cowboy left me--

*snickering*

Now listen here, Leroy, that kid can have whatever name he wants to have--

*five minutes of hold music as Steve rants at a squirrel, sorry kids*

ANYWAY. In the dorms, Dante was getting taking to the cleaners by his daughter Janie in poker, and then Janie got to go for a walk while Anders ranted a bit about stuff in Kathy's universe just in time to get a message that her world is now no longer reachable.

...that's a thing that can happen? Ada brought Janie back and then Ada and Dante talked about their relationship in the future a bit.

In town, Hannibal made breakfast for anyone who would be stopping by the house, and Jono teased him for thinking quiche was kid food. In my day, there wasn't kid food. There was just food, and you ate it.

*chittering*

No, I don't want to chase people off my lawn. Why would you think that? I was down at the rocky section of the beach teaching the boys that came to visit Tony about climbing and falling correctly, and then it was time to say goodbye to the kids. Anders promised Carys he'd hug Kathy the next time he saw her, Lexi promised Kitty and Clint she'd be back next year and Clint said they'd get to work making her...Barton. Did not need to hear that. Chrissie thanked them for the weekend and Clint passed his regards on to her father...that sounds like a...difficult family dynamic...but then they hug, so I guess it turned out all right. Lila and Cooper were sent back to Clint and their non-Kitty mother with a reminder that this wasn't Clint's fault. Zaq told Anakin and Obi-Wan that he wanted to stay and they reminded him that he was almost old enough to come to school here, and Jarik was more than happy to leave her teenaged annoying parents behind here.

And finally it was Eliot's birthday at Caritas, complete with their broods of kids because if you're going to have a birthday party, you should include everyone. Spike and Jono were singing together in English and Spanish, and Kenzi was serving alcohol and milkshakes behind the bar. Kenzi met Tamsin's daughter Dagney, which was a good thing because in Dagney's world Kenzi's been raising her since Tamsin's dead.

Well, that's awful. Ada--a new one, not the normal Ada--tried to flirt sangria out of Kenzi, and the lounge was all decorated for the birthday party. Eliot's Riley didn't get him a present because she didn't know it was his birthday but Spike offered to sing happy birthday...which explained the singing earlier. Spike's also happy to see Ada, who he knows from his version of the future.

Does everyone else get raging headaches this weekend trying to figure all of this out? Parker and Emmy have presents for Eliot, Riley's disturbed that Eliot's so old, Ada-not-the-student brought cake and got confused by Pinkie Pie--it happens to all of us--and Pinkie didn't bring her party cannon but did bring a pastry set and a giant life-sized Eliot made from balloons.

Stark, if you're listening, I don't want one for my birthday. At all. Ever.

Riley's also confused by the balloon, Eliot chose to focus on the pastry set, and Emmy's just excited about the pony. Hardison gave Eliot a key in a ring box--that seems kind of mean--and Parker was excited that Hardison got the present delivered while Eliot was distracted. Kitty made a brief stop in but she had four kids at the house, and trust me, I know how crazy that was.

And that's everything. Go to bed early tonight. You deserve it.

Good morning everyone, Steve Rogers here again to tell you about what everyone was up to yesterday in what is hopefully a professional and non-invasive way.

Leroy, stop looking shifty.

In classes, Computer Science presented their super suits--hope you got photos to show to a Tony or two, Kitty--Lying finally got around to discussing the ethics of lying and when people felt it was okay to lie, and Practical Phys Ed played paintball, which I'm not familiar with. It sounds fun, though.

In the dorms, Gwen ordered a bunch of pizza, which is why Chinese food got delivered instead. The delivery guys are just messing with us now. Last night I ended up with Wakandan instead of Thai, which was...not my favorite.

*chittering*

Well, I'm glad you like Wakandan, Leroy. In town, Alluka was taking care of Mabel, who's now a bird and apparently that part isn't all that newsworthy or something? at the clothing shop. Ohhhh, it's news because Mabel turned human and was left momentarily without clothing. It was good luck she was in the clothing store, then, huh? And at the diner, the kitchen staff was fighting over a new tool that spiralizes vegetables.

...what a time to be alive. And that's all the news I have today. Everyone stay safe and...unanimalized...and I'll talk to you next week.