Fandom Radio, Friday, Feburary 3

[ismyhairout.livejournal.com]

"I don't know why I keep coming back here. Possibly the teeth marks on my ankles from the squirrels. They're persuasive, what can I say? Let's have some fun with this. I'm Hades, this is Fandom Radio and the pirate loves you all. Not like that. Outta the gutter, mortals.

Oh, and Herman is here." Squeak squeak. "He says hi."

Class: Some of Us Have It, Some of You Don't

"I made an announcement this morning. If you weren't listening, detention! Vader's not the only one who can give detentions over radio, dang it. Anyway, the school board's coming and there's a dorm inspection on Wednesday. The notes say I said to 'Oh behave use British accent k-t-h-n-x'. I don't understand some of these notes.

Music is Love (if you say so) had a Heroes and Villains theme. Artie the Strongest Man...in the World! and Darth Vader were the judges. Why wasn't I invited? I could be a perfectly good judge. Hades for judge! Feed my ego here people, yeesh. Oh, yeah, and the kids did their thing.

Adventuring Survival Tactics learned about tentacle porn." Squeak. "I couldn't make this stuff up. The students tried to hit on each other, River wanted to make sure Berthold never tried to feel her up, Ami didn't have the stomach for it, Teddy cried me a river and Rose saw The Doctor for an after-class interlude. If you know what I mean.

Villains and Villainy dealt with Annoying Villains. Okay, what? Seriously, what? Shoot them. Move on. No one was in the mood but they had to deal with Sam I Am anyway. Right.

US Government had a test and Irulan asked Josh for advice on becoming a monarch." Squeak. "Yeah, I don't get it either. Let's get away from the boring school stuff and onto all of the other boring things you did today.

I had office hours. No one showed. Thank Zeus. I mean, ingrates! The lot of you! Barbie had office hours too. Accessories weren't included. The Caf was open and it was football fever all the way. Aaaand poor little lonesome Rory Gilmore of the Stupid Name opened the library. More on that later.


Dorms: The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is on Fire. I Wish.

Jack was in the hallway staring at his feet, then he was transparent. Well that's what happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve, or your kidneys on your ankles or your appendix on your belt. Evie got warned about shadows. Seriously, you're scared of shadows? What kind of wimps are you people? Then Rose walked Jack to class. I'm not saying a word. Rumor speaks for itself.

The in the Fifth Floor Common Room, Pippi went to the pantry and had a fit. River tried to warm her up. If you know what I mean. Then they talked about a dance club. I could do a dance club. There could be parties. Remember kids, there's no party like a Hades party 'cause a Hades party don't stop. Billy waved to River and then got invisible. How do you just 'get' invisible? Whatever.

Ami baked in the Fourth Floor Common Room. I see no baked goods. Where are my baked goods? Ami told John Connor she was worried about the shadows. You're really scared of your own shadows, huh. What a pushover. Billy kissed her. Keep in your pants, kids! Pippi fell through the ceiling and landed in a bowl of cake mix. Hahaha aaaahahahahaha comedy gold. Naomi said hey. Charming young girl that one, then Billy asked how she was doing and Naomi avoided the cake mix."

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

"That's my head meeting the desk. Why? Because your trivial daily events somehow make the news and I DON'T CARE. Let's share some more, equally inane news, shall we?

6 and Valentine duke it out with their shadows. Naomi was attacked by a shadow while calling home. Zack was attacked in bed. Is that what we're calling it these days? Annette played the victim to Cally. Note to self: Annette can play damsel-in-distress. Good to know. Marty and Angela remembered yesterday. Yes.

Parker got attacked by a shadow with Weiss in the room. So much for the knight in shining armor. Angela returned some phone calls, Matilda saw some twin ghosts, Valentine got attacked again, Isabel guarded Jack. Okay seriously? The euphemism are getting a bit much. Mac and Cally were cute and Nadia curled up with a sick Walter.

And if all of that went out your ear, the entire thing can be summarized by saying everyone had lots and lots of sex and the squirrels came up with all new ways to say it. And I still don't give a...whatever.


Town: That Place. With the Thing. You Know The One.

Miho made a phone call. Isn't she the one that doesn't talk? How would that work? GOB left Fandom. Farewell, crazy man I don't know. Get out while you still can!

Down at Caritas, GOB didn't show. Because he left town. I just said that. Tino declared Shirtless Friday. Really? Well, if you insist. Hang on a second, kids." Ruffle ruffle oof ruffle. "...that's better. I feel free! And I'm not paying for your therapy bills. Venture drank beer and was shirtless. Excuse me while I shudder." Squeak. "Herman shuddered too. Luke and Dean celebrated victory, but only Dean was shirtless and actually drinking. Luke was a pansy boy. Katara didn't get naked, but she did stare at Dean.

The Devil's Nest was not clothes optional and there were half-price drinks for teachers. Lucy was there looking as suave as ever. Luce! Call me. We'll do lunch.

The clinic was quiet. And yet, the doctors still get paid. Don't let them get paid for nothing! Get out there and get injured! They give out lollipops.

Cheesecake reigned supreme, but didn't rain at Cafe Fina, Batou opened Sanctity, the doctor who gets paid too much for nothing took a walk in the park and The Turtle & Canary and Photo Hut were open.

Can I go home now? No. No I can't, because some of you little brats were out playing hero. Wahey! Bored now.

Shadows: They Can Smell Your Spicy Soul

It was research central down at the library. Aww little Gilmore got some friends, even with that name. Irulan told Cameron that Parker was out for the count, Katara taunted Cam with hot chocolate he couldn't drink, Molly and Cam are to blame for the shadows. Or, you know, the sun. Cam and Tori talked about getting shadowed and eating ice cream. Tannim brought Wyatt a birthday cake. Can we say 'bad timing'? Liz helped, Haruhi and the twin ghosts talked and Ami was there.

Katara called Zack's books dumb, Evie and Irulan talked about Jack, blah blah blah, Summer was there, John Connor was there, Rose was there, Alanna, the ghost twins, Molly and Deadpool were there. The whole family, right?

Rose promised help, Tori and Annette and Tori and Luke discussed their girly feelings, Katara declared herself queen of Hot Chocolateville, The Principal's future stepson talked to Blonde 1 about Blonde 2, then on to Blonde 3. Then Blonde 3 talked to Blonde 4 about...you guessed it, shadows.

Group 1 researched Fandom history, Group 2 researched the shadows, Group 3 researched spells and then everyone got ready and went all hero type on us.

You people are so predictable.

Luke, Katara and Dean kicked some shadow behind at the causeway, Selkie Cove was covered by Chad, Alanna, Rose and Clark. Aww cute couples. Wyatt, Sam, Deadpool and Nadia took the East side of the Preserve and Izzy, Conner, Tori and Tannim took the West side. If you break out into song and there's Sharks and Jets involved, I'm going to hurt you all. Oh, and Weiss, penguin boy and LaForge were over at Galactica Point engaging in some male bonding.

Is that it? That's it. They won. The shadows are gone, just like at noon every day, and it's another day in paradise for the laughing stocks of the multiverse. I say goodnight, Herman says goodnight," squeak! "And try not to choke on anything."