Fandom Radio, February 8
Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 10:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Hi, it's Jaye. And Archie, I'm free on Saturday. Yes, people, I am dating over the radio. Shut up. You just wish you were this cool.
Also, I am fine. Shut up. No, not you.
Edumacation
Shop class sends the kids in search of anything they can put in a survival pack for twenty bucks. Just a note, Twinkies shouldn't be on anyone's lists. Magical Theory learns about auras and stuff. Apparently Cadet Bridge Carson thinks my lion has an aura. It doesn't. Biology, Chemistry and Forensics do stuff that's sciencey. In class, Lana and Phoebe are talking about Bel's singing at Caritas anyway. Okay... *long pause* Phoebe, I can't talk to you right now because I will WTF at you like woah because I remember my broadcast last week and you confuse the hell out of me. Two, Bel sang CHER. CHER, people. Cher is never a good thing unless it's sung by like, a really good drag queen somewhere, and even then s/he's gotta work for it.
I'll tell you why I love doing this on Wednesdays. Because I get to tell you what John Crichton got himself turned into in Advanced Journalism. This week's critter: a meerkat. Yeah. Meerkat. Like the cute singing thing in The Tiger Prince. Professor Skeeter, I'd beat your estranged husband silly for you if it enabled me to audit this class just once. Not Advanced Journalism writes essays on the subjects of their poems that got burninated. And Anakin offers to help out with the professors marital woes. He's a nice guy, that Anakin. And in Journalistic Integrity, Callisto and Krycek decide their teacher... needs a threesome? For the benefit of her children? Wtf, Fandom High, W.T.F.
Speech talks about trust and gets out early, those suckers in Math have tests next week while the suckers in Western Civ take theirs, Paleontology does some hypothetical packing, and I refuse to make any comments about using this as an excuse to send certain people on their way. I'm a nice person.
*long pause*
I'm not listening.
In US History they learn about the Constitution, Governmant learns about the presidency, and Driver's Ed talks experience. Experience driving, you pervs. Driving cars. God, I can't take you anywhere. Celtic Studies talks Irish legends. Do they have class April Fool's Day? He should totally have a Cinco De Mayo party in class that day. Just to change things up. Sociology of Violence plays video games- I'm taking the wrong Grissom class, huh? And Sociology of the Paranormal hands in stories on time travel. For some people at this school, that could also be called an autobiography.
Quantum Physics slacks off, and Self Defense class not club disarms with wooden knives. Wooden? Come on, people, let's get some gore!
Acting Principal Slacker, who I can totally get behind, does announcements at like, 7:30 and wants a director for his musical. Nuh uh. Not me. I did the pageant. I'd have to be gremlin-bitten, or forced, or threatened, or paid really really well.
In the cafeteria, Lana deals with Marty's little crisis or whatever the hell is going on with him, and Pip and Nadia attack people with Super Soakers. Hey, you have to alleviate boredom somehow. Ed does research, Pippi and Boone hang with Walter and Pip while they smoke, and Walter and Nadia are scribbling at each other. Well, my notes say 'scribbling'. I say 'at each other' so I can make a euphamism comment that I kinda forgot to make. Shut up. I'm under stress.
At the clinic, Peter Parker and Pip pop in to perchance powow with Dr. Pense- Pe- Dr. Susan. Also, say hi to Dr. Lambert. Hi, Dr.Nick Lambert!
Professor Cregg, Lilly, Al and Shep visit Professor Lyman during office hours, and Professor Dream is lonesome. Woe.
Pippi and Professor The Tick are in Self Defense club not class. Yep. Just them.
The study group fallout continues in the library, where Angela and Zero aren't talking really, and Parker accidentally insults Rory and Angela trying to make it up to Zero. But Janet and Zero talk reading and Isabel comes by to chat, so it's all good. Mostly.
In the TA lounge, there's drama. Phoebe wants to protect people. Callisto's all "Um, do you know how scary I am and who I'm dating?" and Phoebe's all "Oh, Bel and I aren't dating" and Logan's all "Um, omgwtf, did you see yourself at Caritas yesterday, and btw, you're dating a psycho," and Bel's like "Hey." That was just my dramatization. It's not like a transcript or anything. In other news, John and Callisto and Crunch talk more about Professor Skeeter and... You've all gone insane, haven't you? I'm the only sane one left. Also, Angel and Callisto are a-freaking-dorable.
Living Conditions
In the dorms, Marty wakes up, as one does most days, and calls Janet Elizabeth. I know you're the new guy in the room, but dude. And seriously, John Not-Crunch Crichton is having waaaay too much fun with the Skeeter torment. Dr. Susan? Wanna look into maybe seeing him once a week or so? He's obviously a serious head case. Lalala, I'm not listening... And in more wakey wake news, Ed is sleepy. Which isn't as much wakey wake as sleepy sleep.
Lee and Professor Not-Sam seem to have gotten lostinated in the woods. Which we know here at the radio. Pirate knows all, bitches. Bel and Phoebe are back together. Last week she was marrying Crowley. And she kinda denied any reunion in the TA lounge. Okay, fine. I've given up on anything making sense, purple monkey dishwasher.
No, not you. You're not a dishwasher.
Jake is encouraged to glitter his boyfriend. And Krycek is glitter! I tell you, glitter makes everything better. Don't kill Jakey. We like him. The glitter-enablers flee. I don't even need notes to tell you who some of them are. Jake runs by Lana's room where Bel also visits. Also, Callisto and Aeryn go alpha. That worries me. And makes Phoebe pissy.
Alanna has no clue where she is, and Sam and Janet drink together after all the not talking they did in class. If this ends in porn, I will be so impressed with you both. John and Aeryn are cute, and again, meerkat, you know? And Marty hangs in Bridge's room. But not dirty. I don't think.
There's mucho activity in the gym- of course there is, as the lectured study group heals up again- where Crunch, Not Crunch, Aeryn and Alanna hang. John's quizzing Crunch about a little thing reported yesterday, and Alanna and her cat are kinda cute.
Third floor has free food. Too bad they're the third floor. Second is so where it's at. Al and Anders talk about... *shuffles papers* something I don't understand. Victor and Walter, and I quote, talk to Anders about being interchangeable with a significant other. There's a difference, though. Because Callynanders aren't interchangeable. They're just Callynanders. That's why they get the special Callynanders type name. And it sounds cool. Why do you think I say it so much? Al discovers Twinkies, Parker pays Nadia- for what, I don't know, but I'm sure you'll use your filthy imaginations- and Pippi and Sakura discuss eating giant clams. Which is a really interesting visual.
Sharon's a little weirded out by her roommate Chiana heading out of FH, Jack O'Neill writes some letters, Kara wonders what's up with Lee, who I previously reported as lostinated, and Nadia checks out Marty playing the piano- hey, I didn't know you played.
Out and About
Ivanova obeys orders to stay in bed so she can rush off to see Tonks at Wonka's. Not Tonka's. I keep wanting to say that, you don't even know. At Cafe Fina, Angela and Broots have a really bad date. There was allergies-having. Aw. Also, I feel really weird that either of them are on a date with someone else. I feel like I need to shower, or drown myself in Ben and Jerry's or something.
Sam runs into Orlin while he's hanging posters around town. He and Professor Camulus are holding a little shindig on Friday. Should you be plan-less. Orlin was also seen in the park, kissing on Agatha. I knew you two crazy kids would get it together.
Isabel and Parker are chatting it up over coffee at the Perk, as you do at coffee shops, Orlin is Jay and Silent Bobbed by Jay and Silent Bob. Jay who is not me. He's E-less. I think. He might sell it. I don't know.
GOB is... I don't even know. GOB is. There.
Sam heads to Empire Records and Bidet, where she's looking for music worth breaking, Nadia is looking for an alternative to duct tape- I suggest you ask Callynanders- Orlin is promoting his party and Tonks goes in search of the little something she gave to Ivanova. I could've just reported that together, huh? Whatever. I already said it. Deal with my disjointedness.
Um. That wasn't meant to sound dirty. Oh, wait, that's double-jointed. Never mind.
Nadia does some more shopping at All and Sundries, where Sam's doing the same thing. They're so in Shop class, aren't they? Orlin's there. Now, I know you're shocked, but take a deep breath, grab a paper bag in case you start to hyperventilate, and everything will be all right.
Everyone in shop class is also heading over to Caritas to find stuff. John was in there waaaaaaay too long to just be discussing class stuff. Sam talks with Jarod, and Nadia's survival kit apparently involved vodka, which is why I like her. And Parker is still upset about Lorne leaving. Aw. Hey! He never gave me that underwear! Veronica, did he give you any underwear you were supposed to give to me? Because he said he would! I swear I will track his green ass down. And the rest of 'im, too.
Random Crap That Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else Valentine's Day Strategy Session
No, seriously. This actually happened. John and Anders have problems with their girlfriends being hard to shop for. Luckily though Blair is looking for a date, he's researched presents and is there to dispense advice. Victor says to shop from the heart. Oh, you're so young. Shop with Visa. It's much easier and is more likely to get you laid. Xander thinks expensive jewelry is a don't. This time I point to daddy's Visa. Broots reports back on Cafe Fina, and... Okay, I don't know what happened here, but people are hiding behind couches to escape Krycek and Callisto and Angel are talking and people are "on the lam". You're a weird school, Fandom High. Weird.
This is Jaye, signing off and reminding you about Visa. It's everywhere you want to be. Or is that Mastercard? I don't actually have a credit card, I don't know these things.
Shhhhhh! I will deal with you later!
Also, I am fine. Shut up. No, not you.
Edumacation
Shop class sends the kids in search of anything they can put in a survival pack for twenty bucks. Just a note, Twinkies shouldn't be on anyone's lists. Magical Theory learns about auras and stuff. Apparently Cadet Bridge Carson thinks my lion has an aura. It doesn't. Biology, Chemistry and Forensics do stuff that's sciencey. In class, Lana and Phoebe are talking about Bel's singing at Caritas anyway. Okay... *long pause* Phoebe, I can't talk to you right now because I will WTF at you like woah because I remember my broadcast last week and you confuse the hell out of me. Two, Bel sang CHER. CHER, people. Cher is never a good thing unless it's sung by like, a really good drag queen somewhere, and even then s/he's gotta work for it.
I'll tell you why I love doing this on Wednesdays. Because I get to tell you what John Crichton got himself turned into in Advanced Journalism. This week's critter: a meerkat. Yeah. Meerkat. Like the cute singing thing in The Tiger Prince. Professor Skeeter, I'd beat your estranged husband silly for you if it enabled me to audit this class just once. Not Advanced Journalism writes essays on the subjects of their poems that got burninated. And Anakin offers to help out with the professors marital woes. He's a nice guy, that Anakin. And in Journalistic Integrity, Callisto and Krycek decide their teacher... needs a threesome? For the benefit of her children? Wtf, Fandom High, W.T.F.
Speech talks about trust and gets out early, those suckers in Math have tests next week while the suckers in Western Civ take theirs, Paleontology does some hypothetical packing, and I refuse to make any comments about using this as an excuse to send certain people on their way. I'm a nice person.
*long pause*
I'm not listening.
In US History they learn about the Constitution, Governmant learns about the presidency, and Driver's Ed talks experience. Experience driving, you pervs. Driving cars. God, I can't take you anywhere. Celtic Studies talks Irish legends. Do they have class April Fool's Day? He should totally have a Cinco De Mayo party in class that day. Just to change things up. Sociology of Violence plays video games- I'm taking the wrong Grissom class, huh? And Sociology of the Paranormal hands in stories on time travel. For some people at this school, that could also be called an autobiography.
Quantum Physics slacks off, and Self Defense class not club disarms with wooden knives. Wooden? Come on, people, let's get some gore!
Acting Principal Slacker, who I can totally get behind, does announcements at like, 7:30 and wants a director for his musical. Nuh uh. Not me. I did the pageant. I'd have to be gremlin-bitten, or forced, or threatened, or paid really really well.
In the cafeteria, Lana deals with Marty's little crisis or whatever the hell is going on with him, and Pip and Nadia attack people with Super Soakers. Hey, you have to alleviate boredom somehow. Ed does research, Pippi and Boone hang with Walter and Pip while they smoke, and Walter and Nadia are scribbling at each other. Well, my notes say 'scribbling'. I say 'at each other' so I can make a euphamism comment that I kinda forgot to make. Shut up. I'm under stress.
At the clinic, Peter Parker and Pip pop in to perchance powow with Dr. Pense- Pe- Dr. Susan. Also, say hi to Dr. Lambert. Hi, Dr.
Professor Cregg, Lilly, Al and Shep visit Professor Lyman during office hours, and Professor Dream is lonesome. Woe.
Pippi and Professor The Tick are in Self Defense club not class. Yep. Just them.
The study group fallout continues in the library, where Angela and Zero aren't talking really, and Parker accidentally insults Rory and Angela trying to make it up to Zero. But Janet and Zero talk reading and Isabel comes by to chat, so it's all good. Mostly.
In the TA lounge, there's drama. Phoebe wants to protect people. Callisto's all "Um, do you know how scary I am and who I'm dating?" and Phoebe's all "Oh, Bel and I aren't dating" and Logan's all "Um, omgwtf, did you see yourself at Caritas yesterday, and btw, you're dating a psycho," and Bel's like "Hey." That was just my dramatization. It's not like a transcript or anything. In other news, John and Callisto and Crunch talk more about Professor Skeeter and... You've all gone insane, haven't you? I'm the only sane one left. Also, Angel and Callisto are a-freaking-dorable.
Living Conditions
In the dorms, Marty wakes up, as one does most days, and calls Janet Elizabeth. I know you're the new guy in the room, but dude. And seriously, John Not-Crunch Crichton is having waaaay too much fun with the Skeeter torment. Dr. Susan? Wanna look into maybe seeing him once a week or so? He's obviously a serious head case. Lalala, I'm not listening... And in more wakey wake news, Ed is sleepy. Which isn't as much wakey wake as sleepy sleep.
Lee and Professor Not-Sam seem to have gotten lostinated in the woods. Which we know here at the radio. Pirate knows all, bitches. Bel and Phoebe are back together. Last week she was marrying Crowley. And she kinda denied any reunion in the TA lounge. Okay, fine. I've given up on anything making sense, purple monkey dishwasher.
No, not you. You're not a dishwasher.
Jake is encouraged to glitter his boyfriend. And Krycek is glitter! I tell you, glitter makes everything better. Don't kill Jakey. We like him. The glitter-enablers flee. I don't even need notes to tell you who some of them are. Jake runs by Lana's room where Bel also visits. Also, Callisto and Aeryn go alpha. That worries me. And makes Phoebe pissy.
Alanna has no clue where she is, and Sam and Janet drink together after all the not talking they did in class. If this ends in porn, I will be so impressed with you both. John and Aeryn are cute, and again, meerkat, you know? And Marty hangs in Bridge's room. But not dirty. I don't think.
There's mucho activity in the gym- of course there is, as the lectured study group heals up again- where Crunch, Not Crunch, Aeryn and Alanna hang. John's quizzing Crunch about a little thing reported yesterday, and Alanna and her cat are kinda cute.
Third floor has free food. Too bad they're the third floor. Second is so where it's at. Al and Anders talk about... *shuffles papers* something I don't understand. Victor and Walter, and I quote, talk to Anders about being interchangeable with a significant other. There's a difference, though. Because Callynanders aren't interchangeable. They're just Callynanders. That's why they get the special Callynanders type name. And it sounds cool. Why do you think I say it so much? Al discovers Twinkies, Parker pays Nadia- for what, I don't know, but I'm sure you'll use your filthy imaginations- and Pippi and Sakura discuss eating giant clams. Which is a really interesting visual.
Sharon's a little weirded out by her roommate Chiana heading out of FH, Jack O'Neill writes some letters, Kara wonders what's up with Lee, who I previously reported as lostinated, and Nadia checks out Marty playing the piano- hey, I didn't know you played.
Out and About
Ivanova obeys orders to stay in bed so she can rush off to see Tonks at Wonka's. Not Tonka's. I keep wanting to say that, you don't even know. At Cafe Fina, Angela and Broots have a really bad date. There was allergies-having. Aw. Also, I feel really weird that either of them are on a date with someone else. I feel like I need to shower, or drown myself in Ben and Jerry's or something.
Sam runs into Orlin while he's hanging posters around town. He and Professor Camulus are holding a little shindig on Friday. Should you be plan-less. Orlin was also seen in the park, kissing on Agatha. I knew you two crazy kids would get it together.
Isabel and Parker are chatting it up over coffee at the Perk, as you do at coffee shops, Orlin is Jay and Silent Bobbed by Jay and Silent Bob. Jay who is not me. He's E-less. I think. He might sell it. I don't know.
GOB is... I don't even know. GOB is. There.
Sam heads to Empire Records and Bidet, where she's looking for music worth breaking, Nadia is looking for an alternative to duct tape- I suggest you ask Callynanders- Orlin is promoting his party and Tonks goes in search of the little something she gave to Ivanova. I could've just reported that together, huh? Whatever. I already said it. Deal with my disjointedness.
Um. That wasn't meant to sound dirty. Oh, wait, that's double-jointed. Never mind.
Nadia does some more shopping at All and Sundries, where Sam's doing the same thing. They're so in Shop class, aren't they? Orlin's there. Now, I know you're shocked, but take a deep breath, grab a paper bag in case you start to hyperventilate, and everything will be all right.
Everyone in shop class is also heading over to Caritas to find stuff. John was in there waaaaaaay too long to just be discussing class stuff. Sam talks with Jarod, and Nadia's survival kit apparently involved vodka, which is why I like her. And Parker is still upset about Lorne leaving. Aw. Hey! He never gave me that underwear! Veronica, did he give you any underwear you were supposed to give to me? Because he said he would! I swear I will track his green ass down. And the rest of 'im, too.
No, seriously. This actually happened. John and Anders have problems with their girlfriends being hard to shop for. Luckily though Blair is looking for a date, he's researched presents and is there to dispense advice. Victor says to shop from the heart. Oh, you're so young. Shop with Visa. It's much easier and is more likely to get you laid. Xander thinks expensive jewelry is a don't. This time I point to daddy's Visa. Broots reports back on Cafe Fina, and... Okay, I don't know what happened here, but people are hiding behind couches to escape Krycek and Callisto and Angel are talking and people are "on the lam". You're a weird school, Fandom High. Weird.
This is Jaye, signing off and reminding you about Visa. It's everywhere you want to be. Or is that Mastercard? I don't actually have a credit card, I don't know these things.
Shhhhhh! I will deal with you later!