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Morning, Fandom. This is Gwen with my very last broadcast here. It should be really super obvious why when I tell you what happened at graduation.

First up in not caring about graduation news, Hannibal had tea time with cats, which I'm going to imagine is an actual tea party with cats sitting around the table because it's funny, Jono dealt with candy-themed music at Groovy Tunes, and >Jalian was building things without supervision at Stark Industries. Also Dante went to graduation but then ditched out halfway through to go to Candyworld. Smart man.

And then there's graduation. Which started out normal, with people showing up to watch us get our pieces of paper that don't really mean anything and are pretty much just symbolic, and we all had to do the dumb walk while in caps and gowns, which means we all looked like dorks but dorks that accomplished something. Edward was impressed at Face's ability to wear robes, which might mean he actually didn't look like a dork? And Alana and Four discussed ceremonial bloodletting, don't listen to that, Aunt May, it didn't happen. There were speeches from Principal Winchester and Dean Skywalker, and Alana>, and then we all got our diplomas, which was cool right up until we had a bunch of spaceships coming down and we had to shoot at them while the audience watched. And then we won and Aunt May asked when I can leave.

So I'm out. Packing up, and I'm out of here before the probable alien invasion next week. Peace out, Fandom.
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Morning, Fandom. This is Gwen with all your gossip for Saturday. There really is not a lot, so once again, it's good that I'm up early for this.

It's all in town, where Eliot, Hardison and Parker went glamping and got to be adorable. Glamping is still outdoors, though, sooooo there's that. And then Jono was at Groovy Tunes and all hurt, because that's a thing that happens here.

Tah dah! Next week I'm prerecording.
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Morning, Fandom. I'm normal! Which, I mean, I'm not trying to rub anybody's nose in it or anything but I've never been a dude because finding PBs is hard and I graduate soonish and so I'm never gonna be.


Do not jinx me, you furry sons of bitches.

Anyway, in the dorms, Isabela woke up with new parts, which I can see her being into. And when Dante came by she offered to show off those new parts, so I see I am right. Ada yelled about her bits, which woke up Cosima who turned out wanting to experiment on herself... Look, I am all for experimenting, but you should probably do it with a closed door and without your roommate watching. Unless you're into that. Dante also came by since he figured Ada wouldn't be a fan of her current state and offered her clothes.

Lucille tried to get to the common room unnoticed, but Jalian was looking for her anyway and once they figured out who was who, Jalian offered her clothes. Lucille refused to tell Thorin who she was and pretended to be a new student, and just in case that charade didn't work, now everyone knows. Mara was pouty and flouncy but assured Lucille it was only for a weekend, and Alana was also upset because she didn't have coffee. I almost think I'd be more upset about the coffee, but I'm also up too early on a weekend so that might be coloring my judgment.

In town, Lucille actually showed up for her harpsichord lesson at Hannibal's, and Tamsin woke up kinda not bothered by being a guy, and neither was her roomie Didi, though they decided these days should be a bank holiday.

Agreed. I'm not at the age where a bank holiday affects me, I think.

Anyway, that's it. Have fun with your penises!
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Good morning, I guess, and happy Easter if you're into that sort of thing. This is Gwen Stacy, here with your Sunday note: Dante was on the Kwik Stop roof with a cat, repressing.

And since that's the only note, I-


You brought me more? What is this? *pause* Oh, it's notes from Clint and Kitty's wedding because one note was too easy, and this is going to be really weird. Like, really weird.


Fine, so I guess they got married at Avengers Tower, where people hung around to watch them actually go through with it. Parker geeked out over meeting a dragon, asked Eliot why exactly they would want to get married, and tried to talk Hardison into talking to Lockheed, before he jinxed himself into probably turning into a chocolate bunny today. It's in the notes. If he transforms into anything, it's his own fault. Also, Jack and Emma talked about the possibility of two Emmas hanging around, because that's what happens when you're from certain universes, I guess. Eliot teased Hardison about tearing up, and also talked about Russian dudes in prison. Who hasn't had that conversation at a wedding?

People still milled about at the reception, where Tony had an existential crisis at Tamsin because this was all happening at his AU house, Allie and Eliot talked about their lack of exposure to weddings and what they sometimes turn into, Parker told Allie she'd hoped for more drama, and talked about getting married for tax purposes. Eliot raised a beer to Logan and Tamsin thought Jessica needed a drink, and everybody wanted to talk to the happy couple. Steve congratulated Kitty on the wedding, Tamsin congratulated Kitty on the wedding and also how no one had objected, Jack claimed a dance with Kitty and talked to her about changing her name, and she and Tony felt that it was a good thing there weren't any Doctor Doom interruptions like what happens with the Fantastic Four. Now I miss Johnny. Kitty thanked Eliot for helping her with random wedding stuff and talked about eating pizza in a wedding dress, and Kitty found out Logan had totally gotten into a fight in the parking lot with Clint's brother. Soooo there's that. Clint was congratulated by a mysterious stranger, Eliot got the story of how Clint and Kitty met, Parker complimented the cake and also Clint's arms to Kitty, and the old married couple got to be happy that things came together while getting their first dance in.

And if you're curious, the flower dragon caught the bouquet which pretty much sums up everything pretty well, I think.

Now that's it. Till next week.
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Morning, Fandom. Welcome to your Too God Damn Early O'Clock Gossippy Radio Hour, in which there's no real gossip! I'm your host, Gwen Stacy, who really should be paid in coffee for this. Seriously, if the squirrels get paid in rum, then we should have like an endless supply of coffee waiting for us when we get in. Consider this a petition.

Anyway, everything was out in town, where Ringo was doing some practice with blades in the preserve. The squirrels were very impressed. And Mike had a quiet night at Caritas including smooth jazz and playing on his phone.

That's it. And that's why we deserve coffee. Till next week.
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Morning, everybody. You know what's not fun? When you have squirrels waking you up an hour earlier than when they usually wake you up because there was a time change you didn't know about and everything is terrible. Seriously, Leroy, you can't let a girl pretend for a day?

Anyway, there's like nothing going on. It's all in town, where Hannibal had Lucille over for a harpsichord lesson. What is a harpsichord, anyway? I picture it like a keytar, but with a harp. It's unwieldy in my head. Jono was at Groovy Tunes where the stereo was being sassy about Pearl Jam, and Eliot was outside the Perk with a book and his dog, and you know what, Eliot wins Sunday. Congratulations, Eliot.

I'm going the hell back to bed.
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This is Gwen, coming to you before a trip, which I don't think anyone actually packed for because we were all too busy being slutty, or trying not to be slutty, and also I scanned through the notes and it's mostly about old people getting it on so let's get through this as fast as possible.

In the dorms, Ringo tried to teach herself how to breakdance with her Airtreks and I swear I don't know if that's a euphemism or not at this point.

That's it. Now to hear about who your teachers hooked up with.

Tamsin, who for you newbies is our mayor, hosted a drinking hookup party, where everyone single showed up. Tony and Tamsin got right down to making out, but Jessica was pretty firm on not making out with him at all. Mike bought a ton of alcohol and had a whole conversation with Tamsin about whether his furniture could handle banging on, Tamsin and Jessica flirted over veggie trays and body glitter, and then Tamsin set Constantine to hit on any brooders.

Cara brought booze from the bar, which I'm pretty sure is cheating, and she and Tamsin decided No Tinos Allowed. Tamsin and Allie discussed repression and wrist injuries, Allie and Mike talked about the problems staying focused when everyone wants to hit that, and Eponine just discussed stabbing with her. Apparently not dirty, so let's both give them some props for that. Tamsin made out with Fred even though he's too Australian for her... What does that mean? Does he throw shrimps on the barbie and have a shrine to Paul Hogan somewhere? You know what? Headcanon accepted. Eponine told Tamsin about the sex toys people were mail ordering this week AND HEY THOSE ARE PERSONAL.

There was way too much drinking and some food, probably, and Fred "boomeranged Sarah a beer" and that sounds so dirty I can't really handle it. Is that Australian slang? Is that what "too Australian" means? Cara and Didi found the cinnamon schnapps, and at this point I can't tell if that's dirty or not. I don't know, you guys. I just don't know. Fred was rating everyone pass/fail, and like, everyone passes this week. Except Tino. Sorry, Tino. Jessica and Didi talked about their regrettable deeds this week, and Tony and Didi discussed Fandom doubles and superhero team brands. Don't ask me how Didi seems to be getting away with normal conversations, cinnamon schapps aside. Tamsin and Jessica talked about experimenting with vegetables and booze oh god why would-

Moving on.

Then there were dark corners which at most parties are for lurkers to get their lurk on but last night was for making out, or where Sarah and
Tony talked about which of his teammates he could kill and/or have sex with. Why do you hate me. And then he made out with Sparkle WHY ARE YOU ALL DOING THIS TO MY BRAIN. I HATE YOU ALL.

Didi told Constantine about how no one else was in the mix with her offer of makeouts, and Tamsin and Didi talked about the possibility of overnight guests.

I'm not looking any of you in the eye ever again. *dead air*
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Ugh, morning, Fandom. And happy Valentine's Day, I guess, if you're into that sort of thing. I mean, I guess the flowers don't suck? Anyway, the news.

In the dorms, Ringo was trying to make Valentine's chocolates in the common room. Why do that when you can buy them? Anyway, Kathy came in to help out, and-

*porn music playing*

Oh my god, squirrels, no.

*music stops*

And in town, Jono was playing sappy music at Groovy Tunes, ew, Mike had a half-off deal for anyone at Caritas without a date, which I think would be literally the whole rest of the town who's not all marriage-obsessed, and Bucky was at Wonka's, dealing with a massive display-

*porn music playing*

What did I just say? Turn that off.


You know what, I'm just gonna go. Later, Fandom.
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All right, for once I don't hate being woken up at ass o'clock in the morning because I'm sorta curious if anyone knows what the hell actually happened last night and I'm sure you all are too.

Except for those of you who weren't at Caritas and have no idea what I'm talking about. Bet you're curious now, though!

In town Bellamy was looking tired at Freedom Arms, and Jono found Hannibal to chat about tech plans. I don't know what that means, but whatever, it's on to the weird part of the evening.

Mostly it was all about Three Minute Dates at Caritas where Frank hosted with a song and people signed up both on purpose and not on purpose. Or had squirrels sign them up against their will. Ada made Dante promise to stop her if she made any terrible decisions, which is probably the smartest thing anyone has ever done at one of these. Hardison accidentally signed up and had to make Eliot promise not to let Parker kill him. And then there were five rounds of dating where people were acting super weird. But not me, of course.

Mike had the bar open after the dates, which was good since everyone headed straight there. Tony pointed out that the booze wouldn't work on Steve, and told him about kissing Sparkle.

*long pause*

I'm sorry, the sound you just heard was my brain exploding live on air. What. And then Sparkle tried to convince Tony to pretend it never happened but Tony's focus was on making sure he was at least legal. And then Tamsin and Tony talked about how the times when everyone gets super horny are easier. NO THEY'RE NOT. Jessica had Tamsin buy her a drink and got apologies for Tamsin being all in love with her, but then they left to go make out. I don't know why that's weird for me. Navaan flirted with Steve, who was horrified and this is weird, but she ended up leaving with Fred. Atton came in and got it explained to him by Sparkle that the island did a weird thing. Was it the island? That one guy was saying it was magic and Isabela thought I got roofied by squirrels. Dante thanked Frank for the fun evening but I'm going to guess Frank was mostly thanking alcohol, and for all his worries, Eliot and Parker came to laugh at Hardison after his dates. See, that's healthy! And
Steve and Bucky
talked about how embarrassing their dates were and how they weren't with each other.

And then in the dorms, Kathy went to find Dante and Ezra to explain she's not in love with them and then walked in on something, oops.

So, weird night for everyone! Enjoy your morning. Maybe keep drinking.
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Ugh, morning. Why morning.

It's Gwen. *yawn*

So, I'm here because there was nothing in school, and nothing in the dorms, aside from Ringo practicing indoor AT-ing. Do I know what that is? I mean, I don't need to. But I keep picturing an ATV right now and it seems really rude to dune buggy through the dorms. It's so early, you guys. And in town, Eliot had a sick day, so Hardison was all concerned and offered to call his mom for advice, while Hannibal just brought over soup. And then Hannibal and Jono went out and Jono got called a turtle. I don't care and I'm not going to ask so I'm just going to pretend that's part of a weird dream and go back to bed.

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Ugh. Morning. Sunday. Next week I'm doing this from bed. Cassandra, you're warned. Be prepared for squirrels and equipment.

*chittering* *snickering*

That is not what she said. I don't even speak Squirrel and I know that's what that meant.

Nothing in school, and in the dorms, Lucille was reading and having breakfast in the second floor common room, and had Mara introduce herself and settle in to talk about roommates. So if you're their roommates, that's why your ears were ringing yesterday. Also Mara, you better have said only nice things about Johnny. And in town, Jono made the mistake of bringing his cat to Groovy Tunes, and Bellamy was in a bad mood at work at Freedom Arms.

...That's it? Gee, I'm so glad I was dragged out of bed so early by vermin to walk in the sixteen feet of snow to come down here. YOU ALL OWE ME COFFEE.
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Morning, all. It's Gwen with your Saturday news way too early, why do the squirrels hate me.

Nothing in school, aside from Obi-wan having Eggsy do detention before cleaning out eopie?- that's not a word. He had to clean out pens, there. In the dorms, Lucille was playing piano in the rec room, and Mabel complimented her and then they ended up in a fight when they tried to share the room for karaoke and piano, and that is an amazing thing I just had to read. Over in town, Hannibal was composing music on his harpsicord, and the squirrels are obviously screwing with me, because no one does that. Sparkle came to catch up, and see, that's a thing people actually do.

Dani apologized to the horses at the Gig because she hadn't been around, and Jono was at work at Groovy Tunes when Envy- great name- came by to congratulate him on his part of the rash of engagements and to tell him about her new boyfriend who is psychic because he's vegan. .....I....




You know what, I'm just gonna go. *dead air*
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God dammit. Not only do I still get woken up early for this, but now it happens on a Sunday? That's just mean. Whatever. This is Gwen Stacy with my last semester of telling the gossip to you, because then I go home where the squirrels can't sign me up for everything under the sun.

Yes, newbies, that happens. Stay woke.

So nothing happened in school, or the dorms. It was all about town, where Jono was going crazy hearing the cheery music at Groovy Tunes and Bellamy was surly and flipping through magazines at Freedom Arms. But he got a visit from Isabelle for non-shooty weapons, and Isabela went to flirt over cold and comments about body heat, and also to make me think I got the same note twice. At Caritas, Mike was confused by all the Beyonce the zombies were playing, and there was nothing suspicious going on where someone named Boomerang was eating Chinese food. That's a weird way to phrase it.

Hannibal was picking out engagement announcements with Jono, and like... save your money, you forgot to bribe the little furry spies. Also, is there something in the water? What's with all you people? Atton invited Anakin over for drinks and to talk about relatives showing up and teaching partners. Sparkle was annoyed to find someone there when he got home, so he just joined in the drinking, which is really the right way to go. And Clint and Kitty celebrated his birthday with Il Pollo and talk of pantslessness helping to avoid aging.

Welp, my brain can't even handle that so that's my cue to go.
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-this is my bedroom what do you think you're doing Aunt May will kill you.


*microphone feedback* Of course we are. What up, Fandom. This is Gwen, who's in New York and just got dragged out of bed by some flea-bitten rodents who need to learn boundaries. I'm guessing the sooner I gossip about you, the sooner I can make them go away, so.

Nothing in school, because we're on a break, but in the dorms, Ringo packed for a trip home. Hopefully no squirrels are stalking her there. And Alluka got Mabel to open a bottle that might've been a genie or something but turned out to be a present. And in town, Bucky was back at Wonka's, where even the expensive stuff was half off, and Sparkle vacuumed up glitter at Demon Marcus rather than putting any decorations away, and Alluka came to get wrapping paper and also talk about dressing up for parties.

That's it. I'll cut you some slack for the lack of notes because it's that weird between-holidays week. So go on, squirrels. Go. Go o-
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Morning, I guess. This is Gwen, and there's so many candles around it kinda feels like the squirrels are trying to romance me-


You don't have to be insulting about it. Today in What Face Did news, he was trying not to move in the library because of candles on his head. Smart. And then Cassandra came to complain about the candles and then got him to leave early for a date, because candles and books are non-mixy.

And then straight on to the dorms, where Edward had cereal and also candles. We should probably assume everyone wore candles. Cosette made breakfast while talking about the show he was watching, and how the candles weren't setting anything on fire, because Fandom may hate us, but not enough to kill us all in a mass fiery blaze. And in town, Tamsin found out JGOB is selling recycled pastries- ewwwwwww- and Luke was in the park on a visit. Isabela got confused because his dad is Anakin, which... yes, confusing, and Eggsy just flirted. And then Jono had Jethro Tull going at Groovy Tunes, and Sparkle found a new mummering display up at Demon Marcus. ...Mummering? Do I want to know? I'm going to guess not.

That's all my notes. On to the next weird thing!
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Uh, welcome back, Fandom. I guess some of you had a weirder weekend than I did- aside from like, raining tinsel- judging on the stack of notes about people whose names I don't recognize. I'm just glad I was me. Now let's see what you all did this weekend.

In What Face Was Up to news, a dude named Garak was hustled in by some squirrels, and also there was a chain-smoking bunny there. Oh-kay.

In the dorms, Christina was heckling the TV in the third floor common room, which sounds pretty normal except I don't know a Christina. And in town, Sparkle was trying to get some tiny horses off a shelf, till Obi-wan came in to complain about Jedi clothes and come in for inappropriate shirts and leather pants. Is it wrong that's kind of hot? And then the Number Four showed up. The-

*long pause*

I think we just found the point of Fandom where I can't. I just can't. We're going to move on and I'm going to ignore the note I just read and go cry somewhere after this. Jono was putting out the Christmas albums, and trying to hide the Bieber. Just burn it. Just take it out back, shoot it, and then burn it. Then Raven without a last name scolded him for not being in detention, and he had to do some stuff to snap her out of whatever was going on with her there. Caine decided to fly around Fandom, and Dante yelled at him for blocking his sun. Then there was King Francis II?? who was writing a letter at the Magic Box. You guys are determined to make my head hurt. Congratulations, it's working and you all suck.

Hardison found the staff at Luke's all normal and behaving themselves, and Jake told him what he knows about Eliot who shares his face, and tells him there's a dimension full of tentacle monsters I didn't want to know that why do I have to know that. Let's just move on to leather-clad Obi-wan, who hung out in the park with the flamingoes and coffee. Dutch tried to flirt with him but found out he's taken, Anakin was smart and got blackmail pictures, and Obi-wan offered Tristan the number of his barber but they don't speak the same language. Jake did! The squirrels do not. And Jake and Obi-wan were mutually confused by the flamingoes and waking up in strange places yesterday. I'm sure today they also have mutual embarrassment in common, too!

That's all I've got. Have fun today.
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Morning. This is Gwen, back from New York, with so many leftovers and no one in the common room better touch them, I will hurt you.

Anyway. Nothing about Face today, and nothing in the dorms, so there's that. In town, Hannibal took Jono on a date involving a portal, while Sparkle sang Christmas songs at Demon Marcus and Anders spent his shift at the Magic Box snacking on pie. If your Thanksgiving didn't suck, you'll be doing the same this week.

And that's all I've got for you. Be less boring, see you next week.
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Ugh. Morning, I guess. I'm assuming everyone's back to their own ages again, so, congratulations. Everyone should be very proud.

In What Face Did news, Face was Garik, and looking through a script till Cassandra came in and didn't believe that it was Face. I just enjoy the idea that I could be sleeping in the same room and she didn't notice I was six. In the dorms, Dante was hiding out, and Ringo visited and got surprised when he turned out to be tiny, and she had to try to get him to trust her. Whereas Kathy just brought him food.

And over in town, Eliot and Hardison worked hard to make the apartment a pillow fort, Tobias was stoically sitting on the swings in the park till I tried to convince him slides were awesome. Bucky came back to Wonka's in time for chocolate peacocks-


Stop snickering. Naishe got some food and tea at the Perk so she could play with some cards, and Inigo was actually an adult and did real work at Caritas.

And that's it. Go... I don't know, do adult-y things.
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It's Monday morning again, so this is Gwen with the little stack of notes on what you guys did yesterday. Seriously, you guys are boring. Do something. It's healthy for you.

No notes on what Face did today, so we're moving straight on to dorms, where Dante was getting over boredom by listening to loud music and smoking. Then in town, Jono was having a lazy day at Groovy Tunes, and Sparkle was having fun with a fashion show at Demon Marcus. And at Caritas, Inigo had to clean up something unspecified, which is never good.

And that's it. BE LESS BORING. It's dumb to come down here if I don't have notes. Gwen out!
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What's up, Fandom. This is Gwen, who needs coffee. I swear I only casually liked coffee until I had squirrels banging on my door too early on Monday mornings. This is what you've done to me.

In What Face Was Doing news, Face was reading and taking notes, so Cassandra came to the library to make sure he wasn't running a fever. In the dorms, Ringo hurt herself skating so she came back and did something with electrodes? Unclear.

In town at Demon Marcus, Sparkle was getting stuff ordered for those who might be um... differently limbed, and got a visit from Atton, who brought burgers and talked about the Church of Contraception and making sure people with alien anatomies are prepared for the winter. Anders was shirtless at the Magic Box because the heat was being dumb-

*chittery "woo hoo"*

That was the squirrel, not me. And at Caritas, Inigo was asking Tino about places to live. Oh god, someone help him out.

And now, I coffee.
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Morning, Fandom. This is Gwen, still reveling in heat and working electricity. Seriously, can we get some generators up in here? Just in case?

So in Face Does Stuff news, he was building structures out of candy. This has been Face Does Stuff news.

In the dorms, Ezra got back and faceplanted till Dante came by and convinced him to shower and get dressed and maybe go outside. And- okay, that's it for dorms. In town, Jessica came home from a bad trip for all the showers and then got texts from Sia, and then she went to Caritas for drinks, where Inigo was having his first night at work.

That's all my notes. Guys, stop having terrible trips home.
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Hey, guys. This is your apparent Co-Homecoming Queen here asking what the hell is wrong with you. Seriously. What about me screams 'homecoming queen'? Go to your room and think about what you've done.

There's apparently nothing in school, or What Face Did Today news, and nothing worth talking about in the dorms, so in town, Anders was cheerful at the Magic Box, maybe because he had a crossword puzzle and a cat. Leto taught Hania how to play flamingo croquet in the park... okay... and Drac was in a mood at the Boards, coming up with a play idea, which Raven was down for since it's from her time. Also she got to console him when he was freaking out about someone named Mavis. And the brunch was pretty quiet this year, or the squirrels were falling down on their drunken jobs, because all I have for notes is about Cade saying hi to his baby aunt which is a weird sentence and I don't like it.

That's done! You're still grounded, Fandom.
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Morning, I guess. This is Gwen, back from the Land of Things That Wanted to Eat Us- don't be fooled, they thought we were food- and I'm tired, and don't want to be out of bed. But since we're mostly talking about me, I guess I can do that.

Nothing really in school except the library, where Face was reading dinosaur porn. Ew. I mean, not to judge, but why. And in the dorms, Jasper was watching some news show in the fifth floor common room, and then wouldn't even flirt back with Ezra. Lies. That never happens.

And then there was the scavenger hunt. It started at Caritas, where I guess they were also doing regular business because some guy named Inigo got a job, but otherwise we met up and got our teams and lists. Mara and I figured out our strategy and Frank and Isabela talked about teasure, and Ada and Tali tried to figure out what some of the items were. April and Maria figured out their plan of attack, and then we were off. There was way more to it, but what the squirrels caught us doing was stealing marshmallow vodka from the Devil's Nest, and Mara and I got the world's most complicated drink from the Perk. Frank tried to make sure his drink was without barista spit. Someone tried to put a sign up saying no pictures of a ship at the dock, but no one cared and we got pictures anyway. There were flamingoes selfied outside of someone's house, and Mara and I got stuck trying to get notes from squirrels in the preserve.


I'm still mad at you. Also no habla espansquirrel.

And Frank and Isabela won. Congratulations, you both suck for coming in before me!


You cost me a gift card! Later, guys. I have to go run a booth.
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Are you *microphone feedback*ing kidding me with this? I'm on vacation! Do you fuzzy little bastards not get the concept of letting me sleep in? Ugh.

Anyway this is Gwen and squirrels suck.

So I guess stuff still happened in Fandom? Dante had a lazy morning with leftover pizza, but Kathy brought cupcake peace offerings and told him she's not going on the trip, but they had a dinosaur pun-off anyway. You both suck. Anders and him also talked about something with Kathy and a burning building? I don't know. And Mike found Navaan hanging outside his house, trying to cash in on a drink special and maybe bang him. Uh. Anywaaaaaay... Then at the causeway everyone met up to go on the trip, with Anakin and Atton talking about Cade, but I don't know wh-


I can't speak squirrel. Face brought Cassandra a flower and apologies, and she forgave him. Aww. I ship it. And now the squirrels are shoving me a note... *pause* Cade stole a what? Dude. Respect. Moving on, Atton told Sparkle not to tempt fate by talking about dinosaurs eating people which if that happens I'm blaming you both. Jono and Hannibal tried to figure out which students would cause trouble, and I guess as long as Camel-Stealer isn't here then my money's on Sparkle for jinxing us. Eggsy commented on Mara's bouncing, April complimented Cosima's socks, and Face and Mara dorked out over getting to see dinosaurs.

Speaking of... Over on Isla Nubar, we got Fandom's fall break trip group arrives on Isla Nublar:
there! We got a ferry ride and then got to check out our rooms. Cara faceplanted and Surreal offered food and talk of dragon meat pies, ew. Anders and Nathan wondered if the school picks up the minibar tab, and Four and Alana disagreed over whether this is ridiculous or not. It can be two things. Merrill wasn't sure if the room she was in was hers but Thorin let her stay either way, and Xanthippe with the terrible name was glad Jasper's in her room even if she wasn't happy about the park activities. And Hannibal and Jono ordered from room service even though there are restaurants and bars right there. I checked out the Saur bar which wasn't terrible, and so did Obi-wan, who had Anakin asking if he spotted anything. There was other stuff, too, like the night club, where Dante and Tali hit up, and Tahiri hit the spa while Cosette did some swimming.

That's all my notes, so I'm going back to bed, because that's what vacation is.
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Morning. It's Gwen, with all your stuff from the last day of Parents Weekend, and I miss Aunt May.


The squirrels don't but you little kidnappers can suck it.

Over in school, aka the library, Face was awake and sober and working. He didn't have any guests to impress, good boy. Time also found John Constantine to talk about his kids. And in the offices, Didi brought her dad to work, where he met Bob, and Teela came in to talk about Kaylin. Teela also met Dr. Lecter, and Atton seemed to hope no one came to bug him, which no one did. Good job!

In the dorms, Ezra was flirting in texts because he's Ezra, and then Dante brought free booze from the brunch and then there wasn't flirting in text anymore. And Kathy's sister Sarah just came to see who the famed Ezra was. You're notorious, dude.

And in town, Sparkle was killing time at Demon Marcus, and Anders was doing actual work unpacking stuff at the Magic Box. Kathy came in wondering if she could erase her parents' memories of the weekend- and it's probably good they're gone and can't hear that- and Maura wanted scrying supplies. I don't know what those are.

Also Lito and Daniela watched whatever the Madrid Derby is in his apartment, and Kahlan got Surreal alone to talk about what's bugging Cara. And Eliot, Hardison, Parker, Sophie and that guy who doesn't understand art had a family dinner to talk about Kathy, angering Elder gods, and talking about how the place is nuts but they stay for the people, aww.

And then there was the brunch in the park. People did the mingle thing, where Eric came to April to complain about the glitter, but the food wasn't bad. I feel like we really should warn our families about the glitter. Gremlins, AUs, and glitter. Frank and Bob discussed elder demon clowns, as you do, and Dante and Alana chatted about art and the weekends. Lottie and Shauna got into the mimosas and rambled at each other, and someone named Teela finally found Kaylin after the whole weekend.

And with that, I'm out. Enjoy your freedom, Fandom.
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Morning, I guess. This is Gwen, and I thought I escaped the squirrels forever, but no. No, last week was a fluke. So let's get to what everyone did already.

In the library, Face was focusing on his coffee. In the dorms, Ringo was on the phone with her sister planning a visit, and Dante trimmed his sideburns in the bathroom. This is some thrilling stuff so far, guys. In town, Anders did work at Book Haven and played with his cat, and Sparkle was singing at Demon Marcus until Ezra came by to make plans for the night. Hmmmmmm I wonder what that's about.

Anyway, that's it, and they dragged me down for it anyway. Later.
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Ugh. This is Gwen again. Apparently the squirrel kidnappers want me here again like this is a regular thing or something. Whatever. Let's just get through these not- Are these notes in calligraphy? Really? You know no one uses calligraphy for anything, right?


I don't speak squirrel! Look, I'm just saying, it's hard enough to read your spelling sometimes without flourish.

Anyway. Nothing in school except Face having an ordinary day at the library. In the dorms, Dante interrupted Ezra's texting time with alcohol, and long story short, get it, Ezra.

And then over in town, Bellamy was brooding like a broody thing at the Perk, and at Demon Marcus, Sparkle was trying to figure out who ran the place. Maybe try town hall? Also hey. Hanna brought his cat to see him, and they worked out custody since he's living with Atton now. And in the park, Jessica was distracted by the ducks and geese playing, uh, duck duck goose. You know, I'm sure it was a matter of time before they figured that out.

That's it. All I've got. Am I stuck here next week, too?


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Are you kidding me? I've been back two days and I'm getting dragged into the radio station by squirrels? You are lucky I've already had coffee. So, uh, what's up, this is Gwen Stacy back after the summer and telling you everybody's business. Luckily there's not a ton because it's Monday and no.

Nothing in school yet except the library, Face had a shirt on and had some helpful books out for the newbies. New kids, seriously, you need those. Then over in the dorms, Dante was in the boys' bathroom at the crack of dawn cursing himself out in the mirror. Weird, dude. That's super weird. Kathy broke certain gender norms to check in on him, but he was more concerned with her black eye and she got to tell him that superheroes are a thing here. Yes, they are, and be *microphone feedback* careful, Jesus Christ. And Anders was at the Magic Box, writing a helpful primer for the new kids. You need that, too.

That's it. Be less boring next week.
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Uh, hi again. This is Gwen for week two because apparently old Kitty called out? I don't know why the squirrels thought I'd be a good idea for this, but whatever gets me out of the yurt.

Face escaped to the library rather than build his yurt, so Cassandra came to threaten to drag him out there. In the yurts, and I feel ridiculous saying that, Thorin built Uzbekistan, though Blue had opinions on the decor, Raven talked to Thorin about his construction experience, and Blue explained it was a cultural thing. Ada actually helped on the roof, and Edward tried with Turkmenistan but had problems with the instructions so Thorin came over to tease him. Which is only right.

This has been your yurt news.

And in town, Wash and York met up to talk about their history back home, Bucky brought ice cream to the beach and got a Flick there, who teased him about his age and hiring practices. Jono was stuck with Disney songs at Groovy Tunes- my condolences- and Jasper took an evening swim at the beach and started cursing to himself. Totally normal.

Dammit, that's it? Fine, I'm getting breakfast or something, because it's that or yurt.
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Ugh. It's early, and there are squirrels. Squirrels who- hey! Stop playing with my bunny slippers, they're not real rodents, you weirdos. Where's old Kitty?

Anyway, this is Gwen, with so many notes they're written on a Post-It, and they still dragged me out for this. Fine. Someone's buying me coffee though.

Nothing in school except Face in the library, with his feet on the desk because the etiquette books can suck it. Cassandra came in all smiley and saying she was going to use his real name and there was blushing. Roomie, you have some teasing in your immediate future.

Nothing in the dorms except me Skyping with my friend. That's stalkery, squirrels. That's so not okay. In town, Jono was experimenting with the banjo, and then he and Hannibal uh, went somewhere. Literally, that's all it says, 'they went somewhere,' which is unhelpful and I think they just wanted to fill up the Post-It.

Anyway, I'm done. To coffee.
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Ugh, the squirrels are ruining my life. Why am I here? Why is it morning? I don't even need to be in class yet. Whyyyyyyyy?

Anyway, this is Gwen, aka the person the rodents make do everything, so let's get this over with so I can catch a nap, or coffee, whichever I come across first.

la la la )
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-come on, guys, I can't get nabbed by squirrels before I have a class! I have rights! I have- does that red light mean we're on? It does, doesn't it. Oh, you guys suck.

Um, so hi everybody. This is Gwen, the squirrels suck, and apparently I can read the notes and then go? Because let me tell you, being herded through town in your pajamas by rodents is not the way anyone wants to start their day.

There was school stuff- by the way, it's not normal to just have classes a few days a week, right? You know that's not a thing other places do?- the baking class made pumpkin spice everything because we're not quiiite at the oversaturation point yet, I guess. Meditation and Ass Kicking did some boxing, so kids could either hit a bag or practice a Danger Shop opponent. That's so weird to say. Creative Writing got a movie day, and Cosette found out she had a library aide job a week late so she left baked goods as an apology. Was it pumpkin spice? I bet it was pumpkin spice.

Then I get to tattle on people in the dorms, I guess. Seriously, does no one have a problem with this? Okay, so Travis was checking out his tattoo in his room, Isabelle was mopey because her friend- I'm not reading that on radio! Sorry, Isabelle, whoever you are. Eleanor asked Elsa to watch her cat while she went off to rescue someone... because that's a thing that not only happens but we talk about freely, and I painted my room. Hey, it's not emo, it's punk. Maybe. I'm not sure what I'm doing with it yet. Either way, it's cool.

Then there's town, and I think these are mostly adults. So if I don't call you by like, a title or whatever I'm supposed to, it's because I don't know who you are. Flick went to church, Ichabod checked out the cookbooks during his shift at Book Haven, Billy was meditating and doing whatever katas are at the duck pond, and Hatter was drinking tea in his apartment. These squirrels stalk us for the weirdest things. Vic went over the causeway and then came back five minutes later with a carload full of stuff. Uh. Okay. Clint was walking his dogs around town shirtless and for once I'm not complaining about something in this town, and Kitty was glad she was around to ogle him and flirt. Serious question for her: how are you not my age.

Winding things up, Cara had her first shift at Caritas which I probably pronounced wrong, and Karla and Jono were visiting Hannibal's new place and he came back all beat up. Hope you're okay, dude.

Is that it? That's it. I'm going to go change into real clothes. *microphone feedback* squirrels...

Fandom High RPG

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