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Fandom Radio - Monday September 16th
Monday, September 16th, 2024 08:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_best_sisterGood morning, everyone. It’s Monday, so that means it’s me, Yelena, delivering the highest quality news content, scribbled on tiny scraps of paper by drunk squirrels and whatever that depressed bird thing is. Anyway, in town—
[Chittering and Screeching]
Oh, here we go. We’ve been over this. If nothing happened there, I’m not even mentioning it.
[Shrill Chittering and Screeching]
Fine! Nothing happened at the school or in the dorms! Because, guess what? It’s Sunday! Who goes to school on a Sunday? I’m sorry the students didn’t get wasted this weekend or do something remotely interesting! Are we done? Great! Back to actual news: In TOWN, I was weeding and playing with my dog, Fanny—who, by the way, is the best dog on this entire island. There are no notes on this so I feel like it needs to be pointed out as this is a complete failing of the squirrels. I'm not picking on the weird bird because I think they have enough self esteem issues. That's right squirrels, I’m calling you out on your journalistic integrity.
[Chittering]
I don’t speak squirrel, so I’m ignoring you. Moving on. Over at the Ink Spot, Logan-No-Last-Name was selling books, under the supervision of a parrot. Totally normal. Later, Lydia and I visited Adrian in the woods for a witch ritual which he was doing. Also completely ordinary. Not weird at all. Afterward, I offered Adrian a cigarette, and naturally, he took his shirt off for no apparent reason. Then he and Lydia compared notes like it was a study group or something.
Finally, Arden came back from wherever she was over the weekend and was completely hungover. See? That’s what students do. Take notes, people. I’ve seen enough teen movies to know the drill. So start underage drinking, show up hungover on Sundays, and give this sad-looking bird something to report.
And that’s your Monday news, brought to you by me and the island’s most questionable news team. You’re welcome. Go do something interesting this week. Preferably something that's cooler than me weeding.
Anyway, I’ve got better things to do. See you next Monday, or don’t. Whatever.
[Chittering and Screeching]
Oh, here we go. We’ve been over this. If nothing happened there, I’m not even mentioning it.
[Shrill Chittering and Screeching]
Fine! Nothing happened at the school or in the dorms! Because, guess what? It’s Sunday! Who goes to school on a Sunday? I’m sorry the students didn’t get wasted this weekend or do something remotely interesting! Are we done? Great! Back to actual news: In TOWN, I was weeding and playing with my dog, Fanny—who, by the way, is the best dog on this entire island. There are no notes on this so I feel like it needs to be pointed out as this is a complete failing of the squirrels. I'm not picking on the weird bird because I think they have enough self esteem issues. That's right squirrels, I’m calling you out on your journalistic integrity.
[Chittering]
I don’t speak squirrel, so I’m ignoring you. Moving on. Over at the Ink Spot, Logan-No-Last-Name was selling books, under the supervision of a parrot. Totally normal. Later, Lydia and I visited Adrian in the woods for a witch ritual which he was doing. Also completely ordinary. Not weird at all. Afterward, I offered Adrian a cigarette, and naturally, he took his shirt off for no apparent reason. Then he and Lydia compared notes like it was a study group or something.
Finally, Arden came back from wherever she was over the weekend and was completely hungover. See? That’s what students do. Take notes, people. I’ve seen enough teen movies to know the drill. So start underage drinking, show up hungover on Sundays, and give this sad-looking bird something to report.
And that’s your Monday news, brought to you by me and the island’s most questionable news team. You’re welcome. Go do something interesting this week. Preferably something that's cooler than me weeding.
Anyway, I’ve got better things to do. See you next Monday, or don’t. Whatever.