Fandom Radio, Monday July 8th

[pocketpretzels]

Good morning all, this is Detective Watts, and in addition to my regular duties as Sheriff, I've apparently been tapped as a temporary replacement radio reporter. One of the squirrels has even given me a little card that says 'Press', and I am told I am to tuck it in to the band on my hat.

I should forewarn you that there's a very real possibility you may hear your name mentioned along with a description of activities that you do not recall participating in. Please try not to be too alarmed, Fandom was pulling something of a trick this past weekend and some of you- were not your usual selves.

With nothing at all to report in the dorms or at the school, our news begins in town, at The Perk, where Mrs. Crocker had a muffin and coffee and was people watching and looking at her phone. She got a series of texts from Mr. Morningstar, which resulted in a giant sugary milk- are you sure this is meant to say 'milkshake'? They were at the Perk, weren't they?

*squirrel chittering*

My apologies, I did not mean to insult your journalistic integrity. No, I know, your handwriting is far more legible than mine. Anyway- there was a large milkshake waiting for him when he arrived, and then he and Mrs. Crocker and they made plans to visit Mr. Morningstar's former residence. A fellow named *sigh* Jack, no last name it appears, who may or may not be a vagrant according to yesterday's broadcast, was there to get a frappucino and discuss activism and music with Mrs. Crocker.

At Jeff, the God of Biscuits, Mr. Boc was there for his usual Sunday cinnamon roll, unaware that anything was unusually amiss. Stark came by, wondering if Mr. Boc was his usual self. Mrs. Wickham came by for old times sake, and let Mr. Boc know she never actually ended up going to church on Sundays. Doctor Kestis was unsure of what to purchase and exchanged pleasantries with Mr. Boc. Dr. Kestis and Mrs. Wickham discussed what sorts of foods are good for babies' development. Apparently, the answer is 'pastries'.

Over at the park, there was a brunch set up, the last of several reunion-centric events from this past weekend. Everyone arrived, and there were once again nametags available. As per usual, there was a varied selection of food and drink. Mr. Jack and Miss Vess caught up, she had nothing but compliments for his latest album. Mr. Amicitia and Ms. Ingram flirted with each other, and Mr. Sims caught Mr. Amicitia up on the fact that the tea is better in the future. There were tables for sitting, of which Mrs. Anderson availed herself of while she checked texts and she and Mr. Jack compared notes on previous reunions, where Mr. Jack shared that he experienced at least two different alternate futures. Miss Beniko had a bone to pick with Mrs. Anderson, because her daughter wants a pink lightsaber. According to Mrs. Anderson, she "put away" her "lightsaber" a long time ag- I'm sorry, is "lightsaber" meant to be a euphemism for something? Mmm, perhaps it's best if you don't answer that.

Mr. Morningstar and Mrs. Crocker followed through on their plans to go looking through Mr. Morningstar's residence, which Mrs. Crocker admitted felt a bit like snooping.

*squirrel chittering*

The squirrels think it's fine. I'm- not sure they're capable of offering an unbiased opinion on the matter, considering how they make their own livelihood. But regardless...

Dr. Kestis sent out a pun-laden text to gather her friends together to celebrate Mr. Cracker's birthday at Sushi Station. Miss Zarrin and Dr. Kestis caught up, with Miss Zarrin explaining that she still looks so young as a side effect of all the time travel she's been doing. Miss Gale gushed about her new paramour, a fellow named, ah, Jack. Popular name, as it's rather emphatically stated here in the notes that this is not the Jack who may or may not be a vagrant. Mr. Gray was there, and he caught up Dr. Kestis on the fact that he and- oh- he and his husband have moved to Greece.

Miss Khan sent a series of texts, which culminated in Miss Khan's mother using something called 'FaceTime' to admonish Dr. Kestis for eating sushi. I'm not entirely sure I understandy why it's such a problem, to be honest.

*helpful squirrel chittering*

Oh, I see. Apparently unlike pastries, sushi is bad for unborn babies. Which sounds strange to me, but no stranger than the idea that staring at the moon while pregnant will result in giving birth to a lunatic. In any case, Mr. Kestis quite gallantly offered to only eat veggie sushi in solidarity. Miss Khan made sure to text Mr. Kestis as well, presumably about the dangers of sushi although that is just speculation as the squirrels could not get close enough to observe the content of the texts. Ms Belle got an invitation to visit Dr. and Mr. Kestis, and they talk about Ms Belle's son, who is of age to learn how to ride a pony now.

Mr. Cracker- or, I suppose, His Majesty Mr. Cracker? Was there to receive birthday greetings. Dr. Kestis hoped he appreciated all the work she went to to come up with those puns, which he most assuredly did. Miss Gale bestowed upon Mr. Cracker a few more puns, and then offered to visit with her Jack, who is apparently a friendly dragon. Mr. Gray also wished him a happy birthday, as did Ms Belle, though her birthday greeting came with a hug.

That is, the squirrels assure me, a complete report of everything that happened yesterday. Hopefully it's not too disorienting to hear about, if your memories of the weekend are unclear. Now, how is it exactly that I-