Fandom Radio, Wednesday July 10th

[so_hawkward]

Hey everyone, this is Clint Barton, and as usual I hope you're all listening to this from inside your rooms and houses that you're not planning on leaving for a while. Or, at least not while the sun is down. Let's see if everyone was smart yesterday.

At the school, the Weapons 101 class talked about bows, aka the best weapons out there for people who don't want to fight right in someone's face. The Wilderness Adventures class stayed in and watched a movie, because Steve and Tony were smart enough to not travel with students, good job guys. 2 Plan 2 Fire got to play with a dog in lieu of class, which also seems like a nice option after how this summer has gone in general.

In town, Eponine had to deal with mailboxes opening by themselves at the post office, which sounds like so much fun, really. Wayne had trouble cleaning the scrap he was moving at Syndulla Scrap because of the smoke getting on everything, and Summer had to deal with an... angry panda at Turtle and Canary? Just when I think I know what all the notes are going to be about, the squirrels throw a curveball in there. Finally, Kitty had Caritas open, because she's a badass and I didn't have to worry about her getting home safe or anything. Regina stopped in, and Kitty tried to explain what the island's been doing all summer to get her caught up, and Rosa was not looking great when she came in in need of a drink, which didn't make Kitty feel better. See, that's not a great note for me at all. Rosa also talked to Regina about Fandom, although she's of the opinion that it's not usually better than this which... I mean, sometimes things are normal? It just feels like it's been a while, that's all.

Anyway, that's all the notes and I have zero interest in staying in this station longer than I have to, so I'm going to head out. Please, please be smart out there if you have to be out, okay?

Fandom Radio, Thursday (7/11)

[goldfishontherocks]

Beau: 'sup, Fandom. How're y'all holding up this week? I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess less kidnapped, at least.

Keyleth: Wait, are you saying you actually care?

Beau: No! I just -- it's a thing you're supposed to say, right? Like, it's polite. It's a conversation thing. Right?

Keyleth: I don't know why you're asking me, like I'm supposed to be an expert or something.

Beau: Because it's something to talk about that isn't this week's totally [BEEP]ed up horror show? Which, by the way, in case you like hadn't noticed or something, I think we might literally be in one of the Nine Hells right now.

Keyleth: I don't know, it's a little chaotic out there. The Nine Hells have more of a hierarchy thing going, so this might be closer to Abyssal territory?

Beau: Why are you looking at me like that should be obvious? It's not like I stay prepped on this stuff because I might need to know stuff about the Abyss someday, because pfft. Anyway. It's Thursday, you get to hear about Shenanigans, 'cause you're lucky little [BEEP]s like that. Everybody was in the gym, 'cause it's gross outside, and Skywalker had 'em playing some game called Pass the Parcel. It involved chairs. I'm automatically suspicious.

Keyleth: Of chairs?

Beau: I dunno. Maybe. What, do you want me to be weird about doors instead? Whatever. Everybody got blue shirts, and I'm kind of failing to see why anybody should object to that, but I don't have any reports about people having like an immediate negative reaction about the shirts when they showed up so I don't have to be all judgey about that, at least. Not super judgey, anyway, since there was at least some doubt going on while everybody was picking up their shirts. Hey, Fjord, you're just jealous because you can't pull blue off as well as I can, dude.

So anyway, the actual game meant everybody had to sit in like a circle and pass this wrapped package around while what my barely legible notes say is an evil, evil song was playing, then whenever the music stopped, whoever was holding it had to unwrap a layer. This is already the weirdest thing ever, man. But then everybody got, like, a prize for unwrapping a layer? After they did whatever random thing Skywalker told them they had to do. Shuri had to recite song lyrics and got a box of crayons, and then Fjord got a dorky blinky ring for talking about how Amaya makes cool-ass weapons, which I will totally back up by the way, and Peter got M&Ms after he stood up and spun around in a circle. Aeryn had to eat a bug because WHAT IS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH YOU, SKYWALKER, Summer got to unwrap a layer of Jello package wrapping without actually eating it, and by the way that package was like ticking louder and louder with every layer people got rid of. Rosa got happy face stickers for coming up with three ways to disarm an attacker using just what was in her desk drawer, and you know what, that's hilarious. Sabine didn't think getting a box of chocolate-covered bugs was enough incentive to eat one , and I kinda gotta agree there. Amaya had to list off five annoying things about Fandom that don't include this super [BEEP]ed up grand tour of the worst places ever and got a yo-yo for it. Aaaaaaaaand congratulations, Kanan for getting rid of the final layer and winning a clock with like a shark eating a fish, I guess? Sidon thought it was dope, anyway.

Keyleth: Even after the Baby Shark song, apparently! Summer was at Caritas, which by the way is a safe place if you need one, guys, looking for bears. And apparently not finding them? Unless a bear ate the squirrel who tried to report on them being there. Who knows? Regina came into the bar after the creepy, creepy horn sounded last night to try the apple and honey Jello shots and tell Summer about how she's new in town and also apparently owns the diner now. Where she was during the daytime, lecturing the kitchen staff about fencing with the sharpening steels --

Beau: Aw, I used to do that. Got in trouble for it too. Wait, hang on. The cook tried to tell her the specials weren't very special? Living on the edge there, man. I'm into it.

Keyleth: And Miguel came in to introduce himself to his new boss. Which is about all we have to report on today. Just . . . be safe out there today, everybody, okay? Please? Or stay inside if you can possibly help it?

Beau: Orrrrrrrrrrr you could come outside after the horn sounds and throw down with some creepy [BEEP]in' [BEEP] if that's more your thing. It's pretty fun.

Keyleth: . . . or you could do that. Because who needs good judgment anyway? Until next week, everybody. Please stay safe.

Beau: Yeah, sure, I guess you all should probably do that. Bye.