Fandom Radio, Thursday, May 9

[goldfishontherocks]

Beau: Hey, it's Beau. 'sup, Fandom. Yeah, so the squirrels made me a pretty good offer involving free booze and I kinda couldn't turn that down, so you're stuck with me on Thursdays now, you lucky [BEEP]ing [BEEP]s.

Keyleth: Really? Because they didn't offer me any rum, they just asked nicely.

Beau: Yeah, you're also stuck with Antlers here.

Keyleth: You know I do have a name, right?

Beau: Yeah, but I figured you were going to do a whole intro thing and I was trying not to step on it, but you went in a totally different direction than I was expecting, so hey, not my fault, dude.

Keyleth: Sure, okay, whatever. Anyway, hi! This is Keyleth, and you're also stuck with me on Thursdays. So welcome to the Exandrian Radio Hour, I guess?

Beau: Seems like a good day for it for some reason. I dunno, man. This is usually where we're supposed to tell you all about what happened in classes yesterday, like you care about that, but it doesn't matter because there were no classes yesterday. Just Camp Shenanigans, which is literally what it's called even though this was going on all around the island, so nobody accuse me of editorializing, got it? Anakin, like, wanted to make it super clear that nobody was winning a fish. That's weirdly specific.

Keyleth: There's more notes about the fish so I think we'll get to that. Anyway, everybody got split up into one of three teams to run through a series of obstacles and see who could do it the fastest. In front of an audience, even.

Beau: Kitty had Lexi there to introduce her to the concept of crazy people doing dumb [BEEP], and that's a good call. Get her to grasp that concept early, you know? Steve was there saying hi and worrying about whether Lexi's going to get rabies and . . . dude. Dude. Seriously? That's what you worry about? Seriously? Jack was there to make fun of Kanan's ugly-[BEEP] team shirt and threatening him with . . . khakis? I mean, sure. Why not. Totally valid fear, if you have it. The three teams got matching t-shirts in chartreuse, puce, and cantaloupe, because Anakin hates everyone, I guess, which is even what Kanan said when he was discussing the horror of their dried-blood-colored team shirts with Shuri and Janet.

Keyleth: Ben didn't think his team's chartreuse was a good look on him, and neither did the rest of his team. Even if most of them looked better in it than he did. Nina thought the puce was horrifying, too, but Shuri told her it could be worse and she'd look great in it anyway. And, hey! "This could be worse" is exactly what Aeryn and Iris thought about the cantaloupe shirts, too!

Beau: And then there was the freakin' relay race. Stage 1 was a three-legged race. Dude, those are the worst. Vette and Summer thought they had it in the bag, and Janet was kinda not so sure about getting tied to a stranger in her first week on the island, but Amaya told her that's pretty tame as first weeks in Fandom go and you know what, that's totally fair. Team Cantaloupe won that leg, though, and I'm not sure if that was because or in spite of Mae basically clinging to Billy's leg and screaming the whole way. Second leg was kayaking out to take a flag back from a flock of seagulls.

Keyleth: Oh, yikes. Seagulls are not fun. Wayne won it for Team Cantaloupe, too. Aw, nice job, new little brother! The next group had to hop to the PerK/a> in potato sacks, order the most complicated drink they could possibly get away with, and then deliver it to their next teammate at Chilly Boulder. Prompto won that one, and Nina sent video of the sack hopping to his friends from home. Oh, and Owen won the customer service challenge at the ice cream shop.

Beau: That sounds like a whole lot less than fun. Unlike the hands free pie-eating contest that Juillenne won.

Keyleth: Hey, that's my new roomie! Good job! Last leg of the course was a . . . wheelbarrow race? To the finish line in the park? That Zack and Iris lost because they were too busy having an awkward conversation to even race, Ben had to explain to Sidon, and Rosa and Pastor Carter won for Team Puce. Congrats, Team Puce, I guess!

Beau: Man, even that word is kind of horrible. Kanan thought the shirt was really [BEEP]-y looking and couldn't get out of it fast enough, and he kinda ended up explainng all about the fish from last year that turned out to be a giant evil fish that nearly destroyed the island. Also gremlin fashion shows.

. . .

I actually just had to say those two sentences. What the [BEEP], man.

Keyleth: You really did. It was weird. Owen was in the second floor common room, trying to figure out what all the canned foods were. Sabine thought that was a good enough sign that he's new, and talked to Nina about last year's giant murderfish incident before explaining canned fruit to Owen. Nina wanted to know if Owen was coming to the park later, and warned him about how there's some weird foods here.

Beau: Aaaaaaaand over in town Fjord was at work at the fjorge forge and being, like, way too happy about being at work when Amaya came down to bring him coffee and discuss all the [BEEP] on the agenda for the day. Sparkle was at Pick Your Poison and also in way too good of a mood for being at work, and Iris got caught up on what he's been up to and talked about possibly rearranging his work schedule. Summer was also in a good mood at work at Caritas, even after Seivarden came in and was just outright disappointed to find out Summer's the new Wednesday bartender and I do not get you people. Like, at all.

Keyleth: Me neither, if that helps any.

Beau: I'm not sure if it does, or does the opposite. I might get back to you on that. Like, next week.

Keyleth: Oh, that's it? No more notes? We should come up with a tagline.

Beau: No. Sorry, not doin' it. I'm over this, actually. Later, island.

Keyleth: . . . yeah, okay, bye everyone.