Fandom Radio, Sunday Morning

[captainskullpoopl]

VanessaLake: Oh my God! Ow! Stop pulling my hair! I’m sorry I tried to take your rum! I just really need a lot of drinks right now!

WadeHal: Hey, you're here too. Awesome. So, we're currently in a room filled with booze and squirrels. I'm telling you all this so you people listening can get us the *BEEP* out of here. ...did you just bleep me? What the *BEEP*?

Lake: What the *BEEP*? I can’t say *BEEP*? What about *EXTREMELY PROTRACTED BEEP*?

Hal: ...I think I love you for that last one. Why the *BEEP* are the rodents shoving paper at us?

Lake: Why the *BEEP* is any of this happening in the first *BEEP*ing place? Maybe they want us to build them nests...wait no the paper is gossip notes. Okay? What am I supposed to do with this?

*chittering*

Lake: I don’t speak *BEEP*ing rodent.

Hal: Hey look, this one's about us! So, according to these guys myself and Lake here woke up together and there was screaming. That's... pretty accurate, actually. Kudos to the drunk rats. Some guy named Tony woke up to a phone call from some chick named Tamsin and then they met up by the docks. That sounds like the beginning of a mob movie. I'll allow it. This Steve guy also showed up in the apartment and they had to figure out if this was a one night stand or what. Sounds almost as awkward as waking up to someone screaming a lot.

Lake: Okay, you’d scream too if you woke up next to you.

Hal: It's a skin condition. I think. Whatever. Kitty tried to sneak out of bed with a john I'll assume. Because Kitty is toootally a stripper name. Jono--sounds fake, but okay--Jono woke up on fire and had to try using sign language to talk to Hannibal. Also sounds fake. Did we end up in some weird soap opera? Because I'm getting distinct soap opera vibes here.

Lake: Your name is Hal.

Hal: ...and yours is Lake. Lake Lively. God, I hope your middle name is also with an L.

Lake: It wasn’t on my driver’s license so I guess we’ll never know.

Hal: Maybe Lynn… Anyway, more of these notes say that Isabela woke up and promptly decided to stay the *BEEP* in bed. A good choice if you ask me. Frank responded to all the confusion going on by getting drunk. I think I like that kid. He's got his head on straight. Dante--c'mon, what the *BEEP*?---Dave, I'm calling him Dave. Dave woke up to enjoy the *BEEP*ed up view of the stars. Anders, which I'll assume is a last name, was there and not happy to be woken up. Probably without screaming. Anafiel also showed up and I'm calling *BEEP*ing shenanigans on all this bull*BEEP*. *BEEP*. I mean seriously now. *BEEP*. So this 'Anafiel' and some random nameless chick also woke up together. Startin' to think this place is just sick and wants people to suffer. Like a Fantastic Four movie. Wait, what the *BEEP* was that?

Lake: I'm supposed to read these notes about what happened in town, I guess? Okay. At the Perk, someone the notes say is Jaina found out that coffee does not reverse amnesia, and Fred still knew he liked coffee, if not his "weird costume"--hey, I've got some of those at my apartment. Fred, maybe you live there too? But he decided 'Jaina' was 'Angie,' so who knows which is correct. Eliot walked his dog—this is news?--and ran into Kanan, who he gave three options to guess his name before naming Kanan Chris. But the notes say his name is—oh. Ohhhh, did the squirrels give us all names? That's so...I can't believe I just *BEEP*in' said that sentence. But it explains why everyone’s name is ridiculous. And then the dog scared someone the squirrels are calling Kaylin. And Peridot uh, tried to gnaw her "limb enhancers" (is that a euphemism?) off with her teeth. Okay, even if it's a euphemism that sounds disturbing. Maybe don't...maybe don't do that.

Hal: So, conclusion? This place is *BEEP*ed up.

Lake: What *BEEP*in’ clued you in? The squirrels or the amnesia?

Hal: I like to think it was my keen investigative skills.

Lake: Sure. Let’s go with that. Can we go now? I think we can go now.