Announcement, Friday Morning

[spring-lost.livejournal.com]

"People of Fandom, this is Mayor Summers speaking. We are currently sitting through a plague of extreme narcolepsy. It is likely that these are connected to the visions of a vampire-infested island that some of you have been suffering through over the past few days."

He scraped his throat. "If you or one of your loved ones have found yourself with similar symptoms, please check into Town Hall so we can keep a bead on what's going on and what can be done to interact it. Anyone who wants to help figure out the issue at hand is invited to show up at the library and join the research effort."

A short silence. "This appears to have the hallmarks of an alternative universe," he said, "So tread the streets with caution and keep your eyes open. Report any irregularities to me, Principal Winchester, or the trooper station staff when possible. Thank you."

Fandom Radio :: Friday, July 31st.

[no-snow-white.livejournal.com]

Jeez oh man, if any of you even touch me and I have to go get rabies shots, I'm lacing all the nuts on this island with cyanide. I don't even care if all the cops in this town hear it and arrest me for squirrel-cide, I think it's justified when they're harassing people like this with their little squirrel paws and beady eyes and ru--

*chittering*

--rum? What do I look like, some smelly pirate?

*more chittering*

--okay, vodka's better. Fill me up, rodents. And careful not to get your tails in it. If I see one hair in there, I'm out of here.

Anyway, I'm Rachel Price, and I'm doing this news thing because this place has got some very pushy, handsy rodents, let me tell you. That, and apparently there's no one else to do it because everyone keeps passing out like they've sampled too much of the Christmas party punch. And I refuse to believe the wild rumors that the girls who usually do this Friday night have turned into cats and turtles. I'll just read these notes then and get the heck out of here, because it's not like anyone's actually awake to listen to them or anything, am I right?

Of course I am.

( Rachel Price thinks you all either need to lay off the sleeping pills or pass a few over her way, believe you me. )

And, you know, now that I think about it? What was even the point of reading all of that? It's not like there's anyone up to actual hear it, know what I mean?

Good riddance. And I'm taking this vodka with me.

*click*