Fandom Radio, August 31

[joxertehmighty.livejournal.com]

Welcome, everyone, to the glorious and magnificent Joxer the Mighty show! In fact, it's so glorious and magnificent, It's glorificent! Hey, that's a good word, glorificent. I should patent it, or something. Assuming it isn't already a word. But anyhows, on to the amazing chronicles of the intrepid heroes of our island.

In a time of ancient gods, warlords, and kings, a land in turmoil cried out for macadamias

Wait, that's academia, actually. Whatever that means. I think I'd prefer the nuts. I kinda like nuts. As we are actually in a time of summer vacation, there was no classes or workshops or anything. However, Zuko got summoned to see the principal, which I'm guessing means he's been a very naughty. . . whatever he is. Zuko sounds like he'd be a talking cow, doesn't it? Maybe a minotaur. Zuko the Minotaur. I like the sound of that.

They were students, a mighty band, forged in the heat of dorm rooms

Wow, there's a lot of notes here. Give me a second to just, uhhh, hope everyone wrote in really big block letters. So, the first bit of news is that Parker came back from her vaccination. I have no idea what she had that required one, but hey, it couldn't have been that bad, right? Now, a lot of people said goodbye to Chloe, today, as well. There was Cam, Callisto, Anders, Angela, Phoebe the Witchy, Rory, D'anna, and someone named. . . hold on, let me take a big breath here. . . KRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry! That must make introducing himself really tricky, huh?

River gave Blair a drowning today. Wait, Blair drowned in a river? Where's the river? I don't remember there being any river, and who didn't alert me to do my daring rescue? Blair's dead now and it's all my fault for not saving him like I'm supposed to! I'm. . . why, Zeus, why? Why Blair?! But Joxer the Mighty cannot get too sentimental on the air. I have to go on. My next note says English Peter is a bitty horsey. Okay, Zeus was drunk today. That's the only explanation. Jamie, my fake brother, told Alec about something involving pills. And then Alec and Tyler rearrange furniture. Instead of, maybe, saving Blair from drowning. Or alerting someone. Shame on you, guys. Shame. And then Alec was invited to dine with Dean's dad, which I'm sure was also more important than saving Blair. Absolutely.

Anders got cross-dressing help from Parker. Why is Anders dressing up a cross, anyways? Aren't those the things Roman's use to crucify people? Why would you need one all dressed up? Will called the radio station in a teddy. With Teddy. With Teddy. Slight misread, sorry. Kry and Jake are back! I don't even know who they are, but these notes seem very excited about that. Apparently Cally was all Omguh Kry. I have no idea what Omguh means. It must be one of those fancy new words. Callisto also came by to see the crying. Kry. How does one tell the difference between the k and c when it's just heard over the not-quite-as-magic as the other magic box boxes, any ways? But in my other notes, Cedric may be a plant. The question is, what sort of plant is he? Girl Sam showed Jack her swoon bike plans, and Lavendar decided to go to Caritas with Lana. And for another student I have no idea who they are, Zerokitty visited Peter. Zerokitty? Sounds Greek, actually. Maybe one of the guys who went after the Fleece? . . . Naaaaaah.

Another batch of goodbyes, now, this time for Xander Harris. There's a big list, intrepid listeners, so just stick with me while I go through this, right? Cally, Anders, Nadia, Zerokitty, Dawn, Angela, Willow, Rory with Yoda and Vladdie, Alanna and Faithful, Marie, Sam Carter, Callisto, John Crichton, Parker, D'anna, and Isabel Omguh. Ohhh, that's why Cally was all Kry Omguh. He must be Isabel Omguh's brother. But with all the goodbyes, apparently there were highlighters. And Bridge convinced Xander to kiss Anders, so he'd have kissed all the members of... Ahbucuhduck. Angela and Xander are meeting up for a new year five years ago, Rory is mailing electrokittens, and John offers Xander a lifetime in his closet. Huh.

In the gym this morning, Billy makes out with the punching bag. Up in the fourth floor common room, Seras makes Errol Flynn, eats newspaper, and watches oatmeal. She tells Teddy about cooking people in the common rooms, then Teddy talks to Tyler about not-clones, animated chipmunks, and female roommates. Cally then talked turning people into animals with Seras. Oh great Aphrodite, Cally can do that too? It's bad enough Agnes is willing to turn me into a frog, now I have to worry about Cally? Seras and Tyler had a debate about guns versus umbrellas versus swords. A debate that goes back to the dawn of time, I'm guessing. Even though I've never heard of it before. Tyler and. . . Oh Zeus this is an ugly name. Schrooo. . . Schrodig. . . Scrodingler. Scrodingler and Tyler were wary at each other. Seras takes pictures and Blair and River twirl and sing the pen song and talk about dance clubs. Wait, River is a person? All the clues are here. So it was River with the drowning in the river! Well River, you shall soon. . . wait a minute. Blair couldn't have been. . . Oh. Drawing. Not drowning. Ignore everything I said about dead Blair.

Still in the morning fourth floor common room, Tyler is happy about punching my fake brother, and Blair isn't. Wait, Blair and Tyler punched my brother? That's it, I'll take on both of you. At the same time. No one hits my brother and gets away with it. Then Tyler and River have a conversation on stilts, Naomi eats oatmeal and discusses the island with Seras, Tyler tells Agnes that she is round, which is terribly rude of him even if she kind of is, Blair explains radio to Agnes, which means she's listening right now and knows I called her round which means I'm going to be eating flies with my tongue. I'm sorry, Kaylee. It was a good life as a person while it lasted. Oh, Zeus, why?

Agnes explained headology to Teddy, and they team up for... something. Seras tells Agnes about TV and confirms the world is round. Confirms? . . . Oh, that's what Tyler was talking about. Not, errr, Agnes herself. Cally and Agnes, oh Ares, they're together and plotting, aren't they. Yes. They talked about magic and the island and I am so, so doomed. Scrodingler is fixed by Seras, and has oatmeal. He was broken? Blair and Pippi wait for her oatmeal to answer her, and Pippi has plans for a sailing date with Pip. Pippi also has soup for Seras, and tries to get her to see a doctor. That's good of her, trying to take care of Seras like that.

Today, Bel set up the scur. Scur? Oh, that's a five. fivecur? Oh, oh, this is one of those things where the letters just stand for. . . Fifth floor common room! Ha! Figured it out! Bel and Pippi explained things to Togusa, while Bel explained why to Pippi. Mac had a death wish with her whole dating Bel thing. Yeah, that is a death wish. Dean talked to Bel MacAlanna, while Dean and Lyra question sanity, and Bridge and Xander come and hang out.

Anders wears a dress, making him the ugliest woman Pete Hutter has ever seen. Everyone then laughed. Parker took pictures, in case you missed it like me, and then Blair was up in the forth floor common room with pizza. Yay! He really didn't drown! Xander and Bridge also went off to a room to be private with each other. Huh. I wonder what they're doing?

The town's courage will change the world

Phoebe talked to Jude at Luke's, as did Sakurazaki. Nadia checks up on my brother at the Empire Records, and Sakurazaki would rather be Setsuna than a sack. I know I wouldn't want to be a sack, either. After being aardvarks at each other, Jamie asked what it would take to be on Marie's good side again. Which side is Marie's good one? The left, maybe? So, brother, maybe you just need to take a few steps in one direction? Lyra also came by the Empire.

Az... Azra-fuph... Azripheral was in the park, today. This makes Marty say hey, Jude to skateboard over, John Constantine to stop by, Rosette to stop and chat, Billy to jog and meet, a duck, and Pippi. Meanwhile, elsewhere, Walter is in the junkyard, with Nadia, Pippi, and John Constantine. There is also an incident involving rafters, Rosette, and a tapestry over at the church.

All and Sunrise was opened by Jane today. Nadia crops in, River who is not a river as well, though she's not a well either, and Rosette. Sam Dean Forest some... There's a deforester? Who I'm guessing is a lumberjack of some sort, he also went to the store. Pippi and Zuko the talking cow bought school supplies. Evie and Lyra met and were perky. Or, at the Perk. Maybe both? The deforester was also aardvarks at Evie. Lots of aardvarking going on, today.

My next note is simply Pirate Radio Yay. Huh. There's something about a Darth arriving and... humming and freaking out Rory. There's also Clark throwing, which must be one of those new sports, Vader weirding Pippi, Scrodingler getting force-chalked, Vader getting new digs, meeting John Wind-chester, and the letter V. How did he spell his name before, if he'd never met the letter V?

Wuteff, a helicopter. I know I'm not the best reader, but even I don't know what that means. Barbara and Mary Poppins go to the Cafe Fina, John and Aeryn give Blair and Marie dating advice at the Planet of Pizza, after which the Gomez brothers and my fake brother arrive to serenade Marie. A good serenade is a great plan, Jamie. I'm proud. Jarod moved into the bachelor pad, though the notes say it's an almost-bachelor pad. What's a pad, anyways?

Wilson and Azripheral were on the roof of... Mooovies Chance. Abby joined them.

And that, my sidekicks, is all the notes I have for tonight. I hope you all were as enlightened as I was. I think I learned a few new words, tonight, actually. Maybe you did too. This is your hero, Joxer the Mighty, signing off.

Okay, good, that's done. Now I just have to find a place to hide from Agnes and Cally. I don't want to be a frog! Please, no frogging me! Please, Zeus, Ares, Aphro-- wait, that red light is still, oh no. I didn't shut it off properly. I better--

*the sound finally cuts off*