Pirate Radio, Sunday, August 27, 2006

[likeguidelines.livejournal.com]

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the influx o' new people t' the island 'n let me jes state upfront that I be hatin' ye all.

*sounds of drinking*

*for a very, very long time*

Roomin'
Jack 'n Sam-who-be-a-wench be wakin' up together this mornin'. Zuko be arrivin', as be Teddy, Dean-who-be-a-woodsman--his name be Forrester--, Schrodinger, Billy. Togusa be back from the summer 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker be headin' fer home temporarily. Take me wit' ye, Peter!

Sam-who-be-not-a-wench be havin' a bad dream 'n tellin' Dawn about it, Willow be bringin' Dr. P-whatever candles--it be her birthday--even though Janet be worried about the fire hazard. Where I be comin' from, thar be no electricity. Ye have t' be stupid or drunk or both t' burn the place down wit' a candle. Professor Calendar be back as well, Pippi be helpin' Zuko t' settle in 'n Eric be sendin' email t' his roomate.

Briar 'n JD be in thar room, Lana be in her new room, Tim be stoppin' by t' see River, 'n Pippi 'n Jim be stoppin' by t' say hello t' Chad. We be havin' someone named Chad now? Huh.

But it be not all hellos today. Veronica also be leavin'. Cally, Jaye, Lana, Callisto, Anakin, Alanna, Xander, Cameron, Bel, Angela, Parker, Tim, Phoebe, Pip, Marty, Tyler, Connernanders, Rory, Nadia, Chloe, 'n Major K! Highlights be includin' boykissy, girlkissy 'n tasers. Only in Fandom.

Archie be sayin' goodbye as well--to Cally, Parker, Molly 'n Cameron.

'n if that be not enough, thar be people in a common room, too. Marie be makin' fried chicken 'n tellin' Kaylee, Cally, 'n Conner about her terrible date wit' Jamie. Bel/a> be tryin' t' get her interested in wenches instead. That be a noble goal. Briar be offerin' t' stab Jamie, but I be thinkin' thar might be a bit o' a line fer that. Bel 'n Blair be tryin' t' figure out if they be havin' sex. D' yer bums hurt? That be a pretty good indication.

*long pause*

I be hearin'. Blair 'n Marie be wantin' a Datin' fer Dummies book, Conner be tellin' Cally about his twin--be it an actual twin or a Fandom twin? This be an important distinction--'n Z be lovin' Marie fer cookin'. Jamie be thar, too, apologizin' t' Marie, but I be thinkin' it might be takin' a mite more than that.

Up on the roof, On the roof, Nadia be helpin' Bridge 'n Xander break up with brownies. WHAT? They best be breakin' up with the sweet 'n not wit' each other or I be havin' a glittery flag fer no good reason.

Revelin'
In town, thar be newcomers, too. Laura Roslin be arrivin', as be Yondaime, Mary Poppins 'n Jesse Custer. He be meetin' Schrodinger, Mary Poppins, Aly, the Doctor, 'n Wilson (who be back 'n meetin' Jane 'n seein' Bel again). El Mariachi also be arrivin', as be someone goin' by V--not the wench, who be leavin' us *sniffles*--'n Thursday Next. I be thinkin' that be a date...

Aly be gettin' an apartment, as be Wilson 'n thar be minglin' type things. Logan-who-be-not-a-bunny be gettin' tenants fer his house.

GOB 'n Becky be out on a date! I be thinkin' the correct response here be "awww." Angela be interviewin' Daisy at the Perk.

All 'n Sundries be open. Thar be people buyin' soap 'n other things 'n I be not really givin' a damn.

No one be in the clinic, either mornin' or evenin'.

At Caritas, Lorne, El, 'n Wilson sing 'n , Lorne be doin' a dedication fer Veronica 'n Archie. Smooth winds 'n a followin' sea t' ye, Archie!

*sighs, more drinking* Ye all be talkin', too. Wilson be meetin' Greg, Rosette be meetin' the new preacher, Jesse be meetin' El, 'n Walter be meetin' John-who-be-a-Constantine

Greg be meeitn' Laura Roslin, Lorne be gettin' confused by Seely-who-be-not Angel--welcome back, Lorne!--'n Alanna be makin' the same mistake.

Greg be meetin' Seely 'n Lorne, Pippi be meetin' John-who-be-a-Constantine, 'n Seely be havin' a death wish<. Ye don't be flirtin' wit' Parker without callin' her Cha-Cha first!

Alanna 'n Faithful be talkin' to Greg 'n Isabel, 'n Greg be tellin' Isabel that he be stickin' around. Sister Rosette be missin' booze--ye can't have mine--and Phoebe were missin' Wilson. So were Alanna

Zero be tellin' Greg about the book signin', Parker be chattin' with Jarod, (as be Lorne), 'n Walter and Pippi talk about their Little Brothers.

Parker be goin' on vacation, but she be plannin' t' spar wit' Alanna first. Parker 'n Jack also be talkin' about the new students. All of whom I be hatin'. Jes makin' that clear. Zero be tellin' Parker about her new Little Sister, 'n Veronica 'n Archie be sayin' goodbye t' Lorne.

All ye damn new people

'n thar be quite the busy day as new students 'n teachers be arrivin' on the island. Be watchin' out fer gremlins 'n be ignorin' any shrub that be seemin' t' take an interest in yer conversations. 'n the cafeteria be not that bad.

Thar be a big party in front o' the doors, where old students 'n new could be mixin'. Pippi be meetin' Zuko, Skif be meetin' Cally 'n chattin' wit' Nadia 'n Naomi, Bel be waitin' fer some Luke person who be not here yet, 'n Lana be meetin' the first o' our new clone-types: Seely-who-be-not Angel. Willow be meetin' Billy, Phoebe be gettin' Schrodinger which be soundin' like a shoe t' me, 'n Dana be arrivin' as well. Peter-who-be-English be meetin' Jim, Marty be meetin' Teddy, 'n Ray 'n Greg be gettin' acquainted. Greg be havin' a mite o' a death wish, Ray, so be careful.

Marie be meetin' Eric, Alphonse be meetin' Hikaru, 'n Chad 'n Aeryn be gettin' acquainted. Bridge's little siblin' be not showin' up right away--mayhaps she be off with this Luke person--Zero be meetin' a wench wit' a terribly unfortunate last name. Nitt? Ye be havin' me sympathies. Molly be gettin' t know Wilhemina, Isabel be doin' the same wit' Barbara 'n the same wit' Alphonse 'n Hermione.

*cackles* They've been here. I jes' wanted t' see if ye were still awake. Because ye be not wantin' to miss this. Thar be two Deans now. And the new Dean be lookin' jes like old Dean's brother Sam-who-be-not-a-wench. Would ye all like some o' me rum?

*more laughter* Anyway, Dean-who-be-a-woodsman be meetin' Walter, Layla 'n Dawn. Dean-who-be-not-Alec be also meetin' Layla 'n Tyler 'n John-who-be-Dorian 'n as far as I be tellin' not turned into any manner o' animal--which can happen--be talkin'. And so be Matilda 'n John-who-be-a-menagerie at times. But not today. Jes' makin' that clear. Kaylee be meetin' yet another John--I be callin' him Skippy now--Rory be meetin' Lyra 'n Alanna 'n Faithful be thar, too.

Like I'd be givin' ye me rum.

Peter-who-be-a-Parker be meetin' Summer, Broots be meetin' Pete-who-be-new, Blair be meetin' Evie, Hamlet 'n Carmela be gettin' acquainted 'n so be Pip 'n Kaoru 'n Hikaru.

'n then they all be meetin' thar roommates. Lana be thar, but her roommate be not. Neither be Alanna's. Agnes 'n Joxer be roomin' together, as be Pete-who-be-new 'n Eric, Naomi 'n Sir Didymus, Evie 'n Layla, Billy 'n Schrodinger, 'n Dean-who-be-a-woodsman 'n Lyra.

And since it be Fandom, thar be mingling. Seely-who-be-not-Angel be meetin' Dana, Marty, Dawn, Pippi, Zero, Molly, Jaye, Rory, Nadia, Billy, 'n Isabel. Those be mostly wenches. Well done, Seely! Naomi be meetin' Jude 'n Billy, 'n Zuko be introducin' himself t' Dawn, Pippi, Jaye, Molly, 'n the twins. Pip 'n Pippi also be talkin', but I be less interested. Ray be meetin' Seely, Jaye, Dawn, Molly, Nadia, 'n Isabel. Alphonse met Matilda, Sam-who-be-a-wench talked wit' Aeryn, 'n Teddy be meetin' Cally, Ranma, Zero, 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean. Alanna 'n Faithful be meetin' Lyra 'n Summer, who also be meetin' Jaye, Billy, Alec 'n Cally. Pete-who-be new be gettin' acquainted wit' Cally 'n Billy, who also be meetin' Aeryn.

Xander be not new, but he be thar talkin' wit' Parker-who-be-a-wench 'n Bridge. Zero be not new either 'n be chattin' wit' Peter-who-be-a-Parker. Evie be new 'n be meetin' Dean-who-be-not-Alec, Cally, Hermione, 'n Jack. Wilhemina be meetin' Alphonse 'n Teddy, Dean-who-be-not-Alec 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean be chattin'. Dean-who-be not Alec also be meetin' Naomi. Billy met Cally, Alfonse 'n Nadia be talkin', as be Rory 'n Dawn. Rory then be seein' Dean-who-be-a-woodsman 'n that be not at awkward. Except fer the part where it be terribly awkward.

Alec-who-be-not-Dean, either the woodsman or otherwise, be talkin' wit' Jaye, Cally, Evie, Billy, 'n Dean-who-be-a-woodsma. Thar were Shawn talkin' wit' Blair, Sam-who-be-not-a-wench 'n his double ('n then his brother), Jack 'n Jaye, Blair 'n Billy, Jaye 'n Carmela (who also be talkin' wit' Matilda), 'n Stark 'n Aeryn.

*sounds of heavy drinkin'* Ye be killin' me. *deep breath*

Chad be meetin' Teddy, Pip, Ranma 'n the twins. Peter-who-be-English be sayin' hello t' S-wench, as be Ranma 'n the twins. Jaye 'n Nadia be talkin', as be Jaye 'n Dean-who-be-not-Alec. Lana be meetin' Matilda, the twins, Jim, 'n Billy. Jim be meetin' Cally, Dean-who-be-not-Alec, 'n Blair. The twins be meetin' Matilda, Ranma 'n Billy 'n I be wantin' those nasty Gentlemen t' come back 'n shut ye all up. Walter be talkin' t' Nadia, Schrodinger 'n Billy.

That be all from the Crow's Nest, where I be Barbossa, good, drunk 'n hatin' ye all.

[OOC: Seriously, hating you all. Much, much love to the radio research crew for insane link fu.]