Fandom Radio, April 18

[actingltcrumpet.livejournal.com]

Hello, hello, and a smurfy good evening to you, Fandom! This is Lieutenant Archie Kennedy here at the helm of Royal Navy Radio on a quiet Tuesday evening that is, thankfully devoid of slime and sudden localized downpours. Although there are furry little ducks on bouncing sticks, but I'll elaborate further in a bit. Really, that's about normal for this town, isn't it?

Schooling

There were shouting platypuses. Platypi. Something. On pogo sticks. Or so we were informed in this morning's announcements, anyhow. Dean Zordon made sure to inform us that Paul Revere did not, in fact, shout "The British are coming," and honestly, I know there's a stereotype about us being more proper and dignified than you Yankees and all that, but is it really necessary to announce that as though it's news? Or . . . damn it. That wasn't a euphemism that time, was it?

Advanced Criminal Justice this morning talked about various theories of justice. Class discussion ranged from the whimsical to the truly awkward, as did the theories we discussed, really. Speaking of whimsical, Arthurian Traditions was lectured on Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Whatever that is. Look, the name was whimsical, all right? Er. I'm told it's a film.

Continuing in the tradition of film-watching classes, History of Art and Studio Art upheld that tradition in fine fashion.

Languages classes proved that it really is possible to span the globe in the space of an hour, as the Foreign Literature section discussed African literature, and the Classics students studied Roman mythology. Introduction to Archaeology, meanwhile, was still back in Egypt. Who needs all this confusing technology? Apparently classes are a versatile means of transportation, at least if one has an imagination sufficient to the task. And then there were the coalitions talked about in Political Campaigning, and as usual I have no idea if they're anything like what I think they are.

While Speech classes, business classes, Advanced Journalism, History of Medieval England, and Western Civilisation prepared for their final examinations, Sociology of Sex Cultures actually got some. Farewell, Doctor Grissom; best of luck to you.

*furious flurry of rustling papers*

Dear God in heaven, I have absolutely no reports of John Crichton being turned into an animal today. Repent while you can, dear listeners, the end is truly nigh. Oh, and General Physical Conditioning played volleyball again today.

Mister Wagner opened the library today, and while Parker was in and out like a shot during first period, she came back during second period, during which Angela was also there, talking to Mister Wagner about work-related matters, and then to Parker about camping, birthdays, and probably smurfiness as well. Zero was there as well, talking about Mole Men -- are they anything like Smurfs? Parker was very helpful today, assisting our esteemed librarian in finding the coffee maker, and then shelving books.

Happenings in the Wardroom and the Chain of Command

Our lovely, if formidable, principal held office hours today and kept a lookout for those perambulating platypi. Professor Cregg held a private tutoring session with Phoebe in her office, and no, that's not a euphemism, thank you very much. I can tell, because my notes are stunningly mature on the subject. At sunset this evening, Admiral Harrington enjoyed a glass of wine in her home.

In the mess hall, Blair had lunch with Ivanova and a bear, and Pippi had no shortage of appetite.

The student body, by and large, continues to be remarkably healthy as the infirmary was once again empty. Doctor Troy's shift at the FTEC saw Kiki checking out, and Lilly . . . still dead. She's stable, I'll give her that; she was still dead during Doctor Lambert's shift in the evening. Three cheers for consistency!

In the Crew Berths

Oh, that's it. It's truly the end of the world. The second floor den of iniquity was completely quiet today. Two of my fellow birthday celebrates from yesterday, Angela and Peter, were in the third floor common room though, talking about Vanessa Saturn and, er, ships? Ships? What? When I wasn't there? And there was socialization of the female variety, as Faithful and Angela's cat Min had a lively conversation of their own.

And then Pippi put up prom posters! People will have the opportunity to be chauffeured to the prom in vehicles known as golf carts and, presumably, arrive in more style than simply walking. Not that walking doesn't have its merits, but really, we do that every day around here. It's exercise, really, much as Pip and Ivanova were getting in the gym tonight.

This morning in the East Attic, Veronica had coffee with Marty, and Phoebe and Bel had a long talk in the South Attic, while down on the third floor Callisto and Angel woke up together. Why do I report these things? They do this all the time! Er. Callisto and Angel, that is. And Phoebe and Bel too, most likely.

Victor is gone, it seems, and left notes for several people before his departure, including Walter and Nadia.

Did I mention the platypi? Nadia certainly saw them. Pippi did too. What odd little creatures. But really, it's the pogo sticks that perplex me. Or perhaps it's just the word pogo.

Later on in the day, Callisto and Angel were smurfy -- no, really, my notes say nothing -- and Rory stopped by to visit Aeryn. Hello, Rory! There was discussion of rings and the nefarious evil of the color pink, and Professor Skeeter, and, er, none of those things are related, I presume. I don't want to turn into an animal, Professor Skeeter.

And -- as you do -- Sharon was reciting poetry to her plant. It's possible her efforts were not received terribly well.

On Shore Leave

Kiki is out of the clinic, and that's good news. She and her mother had a talk in the park today before her mother left again. Also in the park, Alfred was feeding the ducks. Was it gourmet duck feed, I wonder?

Er. *pause* What is duct tape, and why was it on Edmund's pants?

*sound of a chair scraping against the floor* What the hell?

*sproing* *sproing* *sproing* "The regulars are out! The regulars are out!"

Oh, shut up, y -- ouch! Oh, that's it. A platypus squashed my hat with its pogo stick. It's dead to me, do you hear me? Dead.

Sparky Repairs was open and Agatha was in, and Nadia dropped in to talk about smurfy things with Marty at Empire Records today. Parker also had a smurfy conversation with Marty. Hello, Marty! Did I mention it's good to have you back?

Out by the causeway, Rory taught Anakin to drive. I have received no reports of damage or injuries, and neither of them ended up in the clinic, so I'm assuming it went well.

Orlin made a romantic dinner for Camulus. I wish I could cook. Well, I can, but the end result is far from romantic, I assure you, unless you're the sort of person who finds romance in charred ruins. At Jeff, the God of Biscuits, Pippi shanghaied GOB and his moose into chauffeuring those golf carts for prom. I say, well done, Pippi!

. . . does the moose drive too, GOB?

Oh, and Veronica was at the trooper station. I don't know what went on. We never know what goes on in there. It's one of the great mysteries of Fandom. Every town has to have its enigmas, you know. Not so enigmatic was Cafe Fina, where Pippi and Mister Neilson had dinner and visited Walter, then helped him "study monkey."

I hope that isn't one of our ubiquitous euphemisms. I choose instead to believe that this is for Creature Languages.

Ah, and Caritas. It was busy tonight, and highly entertaining as well. My smurfy partner in crime Advanced Criminal Justice projects, Cameron, showed up as promised to sing for Veronica. Molly was with him too, for the mockery value. Isabel and Veronica patched things up, which can only be a good thing, and Kawalsky talked to Veronica about the prom. He apparently also talked to Sam Carter about the prom on Cameron's behalf. Not that Cameron found out about it until after the fact. Charlie, I think there may be a slight issue with the order of how to do these things here.

And there was, and I quote, a guy in funny clothes" who was also "talking to Veronica and Isabel, but I don't remember anyone in --

*sputter*

I have an anonymous source to kill, I do believe.

And there was entertainment ranging from the polished to the surreal, courtesy of Veronica, Cameron extolling the virtues of survival in a way that was inebriated and highly amusing, and Kawalsky with a paean to virginity.

. . . and on that note, I conclude tonight's log, as that is all the news for the day. This is Archie Kennedy striking colors and signing off -- and I wish all of you a fair wind and clear skies, and a smurfy, pleasant night.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a platypus to catch. Come here, you --

*muffled scraping and sounds of a brief but spectacular scuffle just before the microphone shuts off*

Fandom Radio, April 19

[fates_jaye]

Hi. Three days till prom. Do you know where your date is? I'll enjoy the snark corner, thanks. In a pretty dress. Shut up.

So... there was an idea proposed earlier: Connor. Bristow. Smith. Dewey. Washburn. Graduation. Kick line. Are you with me on this? Someone start the petition!


Edumacation

Is school over yet? Gah.

Shop class welcomes back their esteemed teacher and does stuff with fast food or for fast food and why didn't I take this class?

Advanced Journalism yadda yadda JOHN CRICHTON WAS A SQUIRREL. Archie, call off the Apocalypse! Not Advanced Journalism talks about articles and there are no squirrels, and Journalistic Integrity also has no squirrels.

US Government talks electoral college, like anyone wants to hear the word "college" right now, US History goes over World War II, and Paleontology talks dino cohabitation. Not that they like, lived in sin together or something. Or they did. I don't know. Whatever makes them happy, you know.

Driver's Ed masters giant robots, but I still don't trust these people out on the road in a car. Speech classes put up their sites, but if there's no porn, they probably don't get many hits. And Magical Theory tells Professor Calendar about their final projects.

Quantum Physics is... TAUGHT BY A BUNNY. THE BUNNY. Dude, we must talk. Math asks questions and works on projects, Gardening gets their tests back with the best grading ever, Celtic Studies talks Scottish poetry, and Antrhropology learns about "non-kinship based social groups". I have no idea what that means.

In the announcements Dean Zordon announces- imagine that- that the toilets are running. So many prank callers would be so confused right now.

All the clinics are quiet, woe. Except... not woe.

Not much happens in the library, either. Like, Parker and Zero have lunch and Zero and Angela talk prom. Tah dah.

In the cafeteria, Kiki has lunch, and Pippi, Walter and Pip talk prom and pool parties. Next week, can you all start a food fight? That would be cool.


Living Conditions

In the gym, Cameron and Aeryn spend more time talking than working out, and Parker's hanging, too. And while people are feigning being active, the common room is busy with people who care not if they're lazy. Marty and Janet work on metaphors for ACJ with some help from Angela, and Angela and Marty talk camping and Bigfoot. That's... interesting. Also, Nadia and Walter are cute.

Cameron calls home, Draco has a problem with one of those running toilets, and Peter and Zero head out to visit her family. That... had to be interesting. I kinda want video evidence of this. Especially if Peter gets embarrassed.

D'Anna and Krycek E-mail each other, and Maia- now there's a name I haven't heard in a while, and Ivanova goes over to talk to Al and flash a bruise. I don't think that's dirty. I could be wrong. I just don't wanna know how it could be dirty.

John bounces on Aeryn's bed. No, really. Bel hangs on the roof and gets visits from Lana, Pippi and Faithful. And Angel brings Callisto doughnuts, awww.


Out and About

At Caritas, Jarod tells Parker about computers going boom and siblings, Hamlet's night on the town includes coffee, and I only had one shot. Shut up.

At the bookshop, Lana's early, and one day I will catch her on her way to work and tackle her to the ground in order to keep her from being on time. Agatha stops in, and John Connor shows up with a dagger. Look, I've given up figuring things out. Chauffeur signups happen at Town Hall, and how did you guys get my idea so fast? I didn't even get to suggest it to anyone.

Pip, Pippi and Walter head into All and Sundries for pool stuff and prom shopping, and Edmund and Anders have the best interaction ever. Orlin and Emo Beach Girl hang in the park, and Camulus goes to Sparky Repairs looking for Agatha and gets John Connor instead. Woe.


Random Crap that Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else PROM

Prom tickets are on sale. And Elizabeth sat there all. day. long. Giving advice to Anders, Bel, and Anakin. Hoo boy, prom should be interesting. Sam and Elizabeth talk about dancing with teachers, and I have to wonder if Obi-wan counts and Anakin, is he busy? Can he come back? Angel acts weird about buying prom tickets, and oh, apparently Veronica and Archie are going to prom together. Huh. Okay. And Elizabeth teases Cameron about how he didn't ask Sam to prom but is going with her anyway.

*long pause*

Parker, I need those drinks now.

Marty is supposedly twitchy about it. Nadia says that Walter is going to prom in a dress, but, um, not strapless. Does it make him look top heavy? Nadia and Angela discuss the lack of single boys, I think any single guys showing up to prom might get beaten. I'm just saying.

At Stuff for Sale, Ivanova tells Emo Beach Girl she's going to prom with Pip. Then Veronica, Nadia, Piper and Cally go dress shopping. I like you girls, but ugh, I'm so sick of this subject now. And Silent Bob helps Ivanova pick out a prom dress.

Alanna tells Parker about how she's going to the prom with Kawalsky, Molly sends out prommy E-mails, Angel and Isabel get together to talk about yeah blah blah prom, and Pete and Repeat walk into a bar. I mean, Crunch and Not-Crunch E-mail back and forth. Guess why.

Callynanders are also discussing of the prom, Sam tries to talk Janet into going to prom. Look, if she doesn't wanna go, and shows up with a single straight guy? I'm kicking her out. No, seriously.

...I'm getting so drunk Saturday. Before, during, after, I really do not care.