[FANDOM RADIO] March 11, 2006

[leeadama.livejournal.com]

RITA!JOHN: Good evening children and welcome, yet again, to another edition of Fandom Radio. I am Professor Miss Blonde Haired, Bespectacled, Magically Inclined, Journalistic Rita Skeeter.
LEE: Dude...again?
RITA!JOHN: I honestly do not know what you are talking about dear boy. Also, have you gained weight?
LEE:...shut up!

The Pit Of Vulgar Sexual Festivities Where All The Happy Children Live!

LEE: Susan freed all the emo from the balcony with a positive attitude and a couple cups of coffee. Thereby proving that coffee is as gods.

Sammy, personal property of Kara ThraceAnders made a delicious breakfast and Cally offered to share her perfect man with the lovely Miss Thrace. *coughs* Hrm.

RITA!JOHN: Ah, children and their hedonistic tendencies. I swear that I never was like that when I was your age.

LEE: Dude, you are my age.

Speaking of hedonism, however, there was a great celebration in honor of Nadia's birthday.

LEE: I just want to be perfectly clear on this -- Cameron and Molly are not sleeping together.

RITA!JOHN: ...wait, what?

LEE: I just wanted to be perfectly clear on that point. Also, Veronica and Xander sent emails. Nadia and Veronica hung out. Parker and Isabel had very lucid dreams. Janet got a call from Veronica. Angela spoke to her mom and came home to discover considerable CARNAGE from a battle of the teddy bears.

RITA!JOHN: *sing songs* 'If you go out in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise...'

LEE: John. Just frakkin' stop.

Dorkface gave up books for boozing it up with me tonight. And Marty went into the woods to find a gift for Nadia. BE CAREFUL, MARTY! You never know what evil robotic kidnapping bitch awaits you under the cover of dark trees and small bushes!!

RITA!JOHN: ...

LEE: According to my notes, there's a party in your room tonight --

RITA!JOHN: I do not know of any party occuring in my boudoir.

LEE: 238. Stop by. Bring booze.

The Best Town In the World Because I Happen To Live There!

RITA!JOHN: All and Sundries is open. How very cute. Has my age defying cream come in? You know, it takes a lot of foundation, surgery, and magic to look this good at age 57! While at All and Sundries, Veronica and Pip buy turnips. Does that work on skin, dears? I'll do anything to eliminate my wrinkles! Pippi is looking for party decorations and helps name Edmund's puppy. Later, Walter joins her. How terribly unexciting. You bore me. Ivanova, dear? Stop bouncing? You're giving me motion sickness. And what? No present for me? Edmund receives a present and all I receive is papers from my Wilbur asking for a divorce and half our estates? I need some Prozac. Orlin also visits All and Sundries. Honestly, is this shop the equivalent of a clown car? Shove as many people in there as possible and let them bump around?

RITA!JOHN: Cafe Fina is open. No one is visiting. I guess everyone is busy eating their Hungry Man dinner and watching Wheel of Fortune. How very typical. Does anyone have a Zantac? I had beans earlier and they refuse to agree with my stomach. Indigestion and Rita Skeeter do not agree.

LEE: Dude, this booth is small. If you let one loose...

RITA!JOHN: Skeeter's do not "let one loose", boy. Skeeter's expel gaseous components in order to cleanse their bodies.

RITA!JOHN: Caritas is open but remains without customers. I bet it's due to that lovely GOB boy not being there. A strapping young lad such as him should be kept in front of the customers so I...I mean any lovely lady can view that merchandise. What? I am a woman with needs!

CJ stops into the Perk and purchases coffee for Tommy Gavin. I don't believe I've met this man as of yet? Thomas? Call me? Rita likes coffee too!

LEE: I brought you coffee!

RITA!JOHN: You are just a boy. Though, you do look an awful lot like my Wilbur. Tell me, how old are you?

LEE: Um...

RITA!JOHN: You have my Wilbur's nose. My son, Umberto, could be your twin.

LEE: Um...

RITA!JOHN: Lee....I am your mother. Also, Giles is quite happy about Angel being on the mend. I am too, dear boy. We all love angels.

LEE: No, Angel.

RITA!JOHN: Do not correct your biological mother, Lee Gideon Skeeter. I have half a mind to take you over my knee and give you a spanking.

LEE: Seek help.

RITA!JOHN: Orlin fixes things. How very boring. Today, I knitted myself a pair of socks with kittens on the sides. Isn't that much more exciting then hearing about someone's adventures shopping? Jarod, that dashing lad, is recovering from his sickness as well. Camulus and Orlin get together again. Honestly, Fandom is nothing more then a breeding ground for sexual activities galore. It's a wonder any work gets done around here.

LEE: You have two kids...

RITA!JOHN: Three, sweet Lee Gideon Skeeter.

LEE: Whatever. You had to um...

RITA!JOHN: No, I did not. My children were hatched from eggs. And Daniel Jackson is in love with his books. Invite me to the wedding, dear.

The Clinic Where Far Too Much Happened For My Wee Brain

RITA!JOHN: When did the clinic become such a hotbed of activity? You would think that a famous senior citizen such as myself was signing autographs! Anyway, Logan goes home sometime this afternoon. How sweet, he spent the night. Did Angel and Logan have a slumber party? Did they tell stories of their sexual conquests? Christian allows Belthazor to feed Angel. I will not be touching that with a thirty foot pole. Lana meets Christian and helps clean the clinic. Such a nice girl. Too bad she's probably dreadfully dull.

LEE: You're really mean.

RITA!JOHN: And you're looking slightly plump. Alanna stops in to see Angel. Rory Gilmore visits Angel as well. And, thankfully, she is not crying. Crying is very unattractive, Miss Gilmore. It makes you look like a drowned rat. Molly visits Angel as well.

LEE: Angel got a lot of visitors.

RITA!JOHN: I need some Midol.

LEE: What?

RITA!JOHN: Before leaving the clinic, Logan and Angel discuss why Logan went alpha last night. Mr. Thazor follows through and feeds Angel. How sweet. If I had tear ducts, I think I might produce a tear. Lana sits with Angel. She just sits with him? Honestly, children at this school are so very unproductive. You could've cooked a nice dish of poached eggs for him! Rory and Angel become disgustingly mushy.

LEE: Missing Wilbur?

RITA!JOHN: He never held me like that! Alanna gives Angel something to read. Whoo hoo. Angel's excitement must've been through the roof at that. Veronica and Angel are relieved. And, children, I listened to the radio yesteray. When will the wedding occur? Phoebe and Angel discuss Mr. Thazor. And my feet are cold.

LEE: Need a blanket?

RITA!JOHN: No, I need a Xanax. Apparently, Miss Hayes is the cutest thing ever. I did not vote for her in that category. My vote went to that bastion of goodness, John Crichton. Miss Parker and Angel are also relieve with each other. Tell me, don't you think those two crazy kids would make a delightfully explosive couple? Someone set them up! Callistie tells Angel she was worried for him. Children, did I tell you about the vacation I went on to Barbados? I didn't? Well, I went to Barbados and couldn't wear a swimsuit because I was incredibly pale. Wasn't that more exciting then Callistie talk? Miss Chase also checks up on Angel. You children care too much! Stop it! You are giving me a migraine!

LEE: Tyenol?

RITA!JOHN: Eat some chicken! That night at the Fandom Town Emergency Clinic, Miss Backtalky gets an excuse note for Angel. Dr. Lambert is Canadian as so pointed out by Thomas Gavin. How helpful he is. Thomas? Call me! Schizophrenic John is attempting to cheer Angel up. You children never stop, do you? Go to bed! Angel becomes incredibly stubborn and tries to convince Janet into letting him go home. Miss Gilmore returns to the clinic but, since Angel is being sent home, failed in her mission. I'm devastated, I am. Miss Gilmore also talks about sex between animals. Perhaps she should be taking the Xanax. And finally, Angel is sent home. Whoo hoo.

RITA!JOHN: You children talk entirely too much. You've given me a migraine and I have a bunion on my foot. Go to sleep!
LEE: You can't tell everyone what to do.
RITA!JOHN: Come give mommy a kiss!
LEE: Save me!

Fandom Radio, March 12

[fates_jaye]

Hi! This is Jayewhohashadafewdrinks. Because right after I bitched about getting the big radio nights, you all threw a surprise party on my night. You're all fired. All of you.


Edumacation

Hahahahahaha, it's Sunday.

There was play rehearsal. That was easy.


Living Conditions

Anders likes pancakes. And he likes sharing his pancakes. Not dirty. And sharing his pancakes means he can talk to Ivanova about "other worlds, sex and death." That sounds like it would be a great movie. Al comes down to talk about Angel, who is a great guy. Have I mentioned that? 'Cause he is. And then Al and Ivanova start talking. The common room is just a little threeway of conversation.

I'm stealing Professor Skeeter's schtick, huh? Not the convo threeway, the drunkinated radio thing. Aw, I'm sorry. I should send her flowers.

Oh, and Al gets a present from Ivanova, but no one else is involved. Okay, yeah, I just made that dirty. Sorry.

And in the fourth floor common room, Boone and Allie hang. I've met Allie. She's nice. Never met Boone, though. Hi, Boone! I'm Jaye.

Professor Sidle sends E-mails, Xander talks to his frog, Sharon talks to her plant, and people think I'm weird for supposedly talking to my purse. Whatever. And it's Broots' birthday! Yay! Happy birthday. Parker gives him a prezzie, Mac stops by to meet him, and Mr. Hawkeye sir gets him teaching math classes.

Crunch and Not-Crunch stop by Aeryn's room but not at the same time, Walter plays with his bot, Bel and Phoebe are cute and stuff, awwww, and Kiki returns! Hi!

Nadia is awesome, Lyta's hungry, Krycek fiiiiinally gets Jakey his presents, and Peter Parker appears to be puzzled by the pink... His room's pink. He's not happy. I hate the letter P right now. I rebel against it.


Out and About

Orlin and Camulus do the waking up together thing, and you can't hear it, but I'm shaking my head a lot. They do the coming home thing later, too. Allie shows up at Firefighter Tommy's apartment, but there's nothing that says dirty in my notes so let's say its all clean there.

Ivanova and Tonks have a date at Ching Tai, The Baron's office is open on Sunday, Empire Records is all quietininininated, and so's Sanctity. And Aeryn's hanging at the junk yard again. Someone needs a hobby.

The clinic's all quiet with Angel releasinated. Lana brings Janet coffee and Stark is there in the evening and tah dah.

GOB is delivering mail to the Sin, dirty? And in the park, Jarod and Parker rehearse lines and... *shuffles notes* So. Parkie. What do I get for not saying exactly what happened in the park according to my notes, huh? Whatever, I'm good with this.

I'm stealing Professor Skeeter's schtick, aren't I? Even though I sooooooo did it first at New Year's which I mostly remember. I should ask for royalties.


Random Crap That Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else Angel's Party OMG Yay

After some organizing, Callisto and Veronica totally trick Angel into going to Caritas for his omg surprise party.

Hanging out at the bar are Crunch and Janet, Molly who's being all cute, the cat who flies, Orlin and Camulus who are on a date, Nadia, Bridgey who wants me to put animals on my head, Archie who says he's been practicing for the balanc- Practice? Xander? Can I borrow the frog you talk to? I'll return him. And won't lick him or anything. Rory and Bridge talk for years and years, and I know, I know, shut up, I can't care. Faithful flies around Pippi, Angela and Chloe... You all socialize too much, gah. Rory is a spoilsport, and Jay who is not me fails at hitting on her so she has a conversation with Silent Bob.

Phoebe sings, and then again later with Veronica, Xander says hey to people, Bel and Phoebe continue their cuteness, Al comes by to chat, Bel wants to know if Piper has been baking anything, and is that innuendo?

Finally, Angel shows up, and Janet kinda explains what the hell's going on. Professor Cregg wants to make Angel sing, which is mean to everyone and why do you hate us like that? Parkie is soooooo Rory and Angel's mom. Or something. Or I might be that drunk. No, seriously. But Marty's drunk, too, so. Angel and Alanna talk books... Seriously? Parker and Sam talk about stuff, Marty and Angela are adorable and hiiiiiii, Angela. Gone so long, woe! Callisto and Angel? Also adorable. Blair and Molly are already having relationshippy talks, but they're both cute. And then Angel and Logan are... What the hell, they're cute, too. You'll get glitter flags from me sometime this week.


Good night from the drunkinated one who will be balancing animals on her head this time tomorrow.