Fandom Radio, November 2

[http://users.livejournal.com/_gottahavefaith/]

This is Faith and Wilkins, bringing you Wednesday's news. *arf!* Yes, most of it is just gossip. Really, this whole co-hosting thing? Much better idea when you weren't so damn talkative. *rrrrow* ....I'm not translating that.

Classes

Language Classes have a free period. Professor Dream is down. Speech is also a free period, and Professor Cregg talks to the class about Kitty Pryde.

Geology learns about "crustal deformation". *arrr-ruf* You're right, WIlkins. That girl probably does have that STD. In other 'OMG, dirty!' school news, Art Class has to paint something without using their hands. They all get green ducks, which I'm sure is some sort of very interesting sign of some sort of portent of doom that I don't much care about. Oh, and they've all got a take-home STD test.

Sociology classes are mocking the Darwin Award winners and talking about positive deviance. Anthropology is looking at old forms of marriage, and Celtic class looks at a map of Ireland. Oh, and apparently, Professor Jerusalem held class in his apartment today, if a certain Xander Harris is to be believed.

And in the "Crap, it'd suck so bad to be there" news, Professor Ten goes BATSHIT INSANE in Quantum Physics. Ass. Poetry Class discusses the evilest of poems, the haiku. Also, students who expected to be greeted by the amazing and damn sexy Professor Eppes were in for an unpleasant and mathy surprise. Math alone is bad enough, but it's bearable when you've got something pretty to stare at.

In Study Hall, the puppies are back. *arfity!* No, sweetie, you're much cooler. And yes, even adorable. Draco who is totally getting huge hips and Harry are together with a puppy. I've been assured that this is the setup of a bad porn. I'd like a copy, kids.

Phoebe plays with a puppy and Bel who totally isn't her puppy. Paige multitasks, playing with a puppy and talking to Sonia- and telling her that Ludwig liiiiiiiikes her. Johnny also multitasks, talking to Paige about a booty call and talking to Duce about the JA fashion show. Sweetie, follow her advice. You'll look awesome.

Also, Beka and Piper chat, and Beka and Lily (the one who didn't fuck her boyfriend's dad and get killed for it) meet for the first time. And, Duce, being the sweet and fashionable woman of my dreams, teaches Duo to remove glitter. I'm not going to ask for the details of that.

The AV Club has an open mic night. Go, sing, be emo. The less cool slayer and Bel work out in the gym.

Dean Bristow and Professor The Tick hold office hours. Mr. The Tick's are on the roof, for some reason. Also, there's a lot of talking in the library. You know, it being a library and all, this is surprising.

Also? There's apparently some action in the clinic. Not that us folks at Fandom Radio would be looking into that or anything. *Woof! Woof!* Quiet, you. And Johnny-boy's doing some counseling

One final announcement from school: HOLY CRAP, METHOS IS OUT OF THE CLOSET!.

Dorms
*Ruff! Rur ruff!* No. We're not calling it 'the doghouse'. It's not half as cute as you think it sounds.

Anyway, Draco with the increasingly large ass, to match his hips swaggers around the dorms. He chats with Paige and Lily, who I've heard is amazing and makes brownies. Aw, and Lily later organizes a game night for everyone in the dorms.

Also in the dorms, Chloe returns Rory's gun. Rory's confused at this. Speaking of the bunny-abuser, she talks with Professor MacGyver. Also, it's Kry's birthday, and he's already getting a present. It's a relatively quiet night in the biggest dorm room on campus


Town
A Sheriff Don Lamb informs everyone of the town-wide curfew. *Arfy!* Yes, it applies to you. *Ror?* Yes, even if you have to go for 'a walk'. In other news that I think people should know, there are toothy ducks in the pond. Please don't start feeding them your blood and naming them after your unrequited love interest.

In the park, Tara and Callisto talk about the curfew, and Callisto turns down Tara's hug offer, even though she totally needs one. Plus- Tara? You don't turn down that sort of oppourtunity, Callisto.
Also in the park, Evie and Fred are, and I quote "schmoopy". I don't know what it means, but I think it sounds dirty.

At the museum, Paige is late for work and the slayer that is less cool then me applies for a job. Paige and Azriphale go to Wonka's. Mm, candy.

At the Emporium, Michael assures Brenda that the town isn't all that bad. He also explains the concept of can-openers to Salmoneus. Mikey's doing lots of explaining today.

The Haven is hopping. Jake and Kry are cute about birthdays, Lana meets up with Professor Quayle, and George gets to know Quistis.

My goodness, Lana's moved on quick from Archie- she's macking it to Quayle.

Salmoneus pretty much wins at prank phone calls and, by extension, at life in general. Chewbacca opens an account at the bank.

Deb's is busy. And, aw, Professor Amidala and Anakin are so cute. What is it with that boy and authority figures?

At Spike's, The Cat chats up Yazoo and Tex, Tex and Yazoo talk weapons, and Brenda is still trying to get used to town. *snort* Good luck with that.

What the hell?
Apparently, you're all not dumb enough on a daily basis for me to have an 'Idiots' section. But now you all get to hear about the mind-boggling stupidity and insanity that is you.

Callynanders talk about making balloon animals. Out of condoms. Kids, that's not really what they're meant for. You need a demonstration?

*giggles and barks* I'm sorry, one moment. *giggles* *Arf!* Right, right. Draco Malfoy is running for Fandom High's Favorite Fairy. I'm impressed. Pink is totally your color.

Okay, really, Mr. Ten, I don't know you, but you AREN'T ALLOWED TO MAKE CALLY CRY. WE HAVE RULES ABOUT THAT. *Grrrrrrowl.* But at least Anders is there to be cute and help her feel better. That's still NO EXCUSE, Mr. Ten, if that's even your real name, which I hope it isn't because it is WICKED STUPID. Someone should kick you.


But that's all for tonight, kids. I'm leaving you in the very capable hands of Professor Ash tomorrow, and then Barbossa. Don't miss me too much.
And really, be careful. With Kitty Pryde missing, things just- look, don't do anything stupid. And call me or something if you need an escort.