Here's the schedule for radio tryouts, starting Monday, January 5. Please let me know if you need a different date, and apply for membership to the radio comm so we can get you hooked up with access!

Good luck!

Monday, January 5: Arthur Pendragon
Tuesday, January 6: Minsc & Boo
Wednesday, January 7: Lacey & Katchoo
Thursday, January 8: Emmett Cullen
Friday, January 9: Turtle Wexler
Saturday, January 10: J. Jonah Jameson
Sunday, January 11: Claudia Kishi
Monday, January 12: Hoshi
Tuesday, January 13: The Winchester Brothers
Wednesday, January 14: Jack Burton
Thursday, January 15: Cable & Deadpool
Friday, January 16: Minsc & Boo
Saturday, January 17: Jamie Madrox

A very familiar voice came over the airwaves. "This be the pirate, beloved by wenches 'n squirrels alike, though in very diff'rent ways, here t' announce some very important news--we be havin' our radio broadcasters for the next while on Fandom Isle. The list e'en be in alphabetical-type order because one o' the squirrels be a mite anal.

"Without further ado, here they be:

The Doctor
Lois Lane
Toby Moraitis
Robin Scherbatsky
Reno o' the Turks 'n Jenny Sparks
Turtle Wexler
Sam 'n Dean Winchester

"Congratulations t' all o' ye! 'n just as a reminder, thar be no monetary compensation for such an honor."

[OOC: Thank you so, so much to those who tried out. The voting was insanely close this time around.]

The time of year when we look for radio talent! And we’re looking for a few good men/women/talking animals to become the island's voice for the next semester.

Students, teachers, townies, newcomers, old hands—everyone is welcome to try out.

Beginning Monday, May 12 (the first full week with all the newbies), everyone who’s interested—new talent and old talent—will have an on-air audition (meaning that they’ll do a recap for everyone to read. It’ll also give them an idea of how much time the coding will take and give them a final chance to flee from the chaos).

We’ll then put up a poll and you’ll all get to vote for the seven people/things who will be bringing the news to Fandom for the summer

This is also your chance to do a one-off: if you've always wanted to do radio for just one night, here's the place to volunteer for it! Aren't I sweet? You can also sign up here to volunteer to become an honorary squirrel: one of our intrepid research staffers.

If you're interested, please drop a comment in this post.

Thanks!

Good evenin', Fandom! It be It be I, Barbossa, th' island's most famous pirate, bringin' ye the highs 'n lows o' today.

*weetiny squirrel cheers*

( On to the news! )

That be all fer us here at the Crow's Nest. Have a good night, Fandom!

Frozen Puck to the Head - Captain Tractor

It be Monday, I be bored, so it be pirate radio night!

*sounds of massive squirrel applause*

Go on, wake yer friends. I'll wait fer a moment.

*dead air*

I be Barbossa, this be the mighty WTFH, 'n ye all be mighty busy today, aye?

( Where Barbossa talks a lot. )

That be all from the Crow's Nest tonight. Keep an eye out fer Matey-wit'-the-Hat 'n his lovely wench who be not a frog, nor likin' t' be called Haunches, 'n have a good tomorrow.

The time of year when we look for radio talent! And we’re looking for a few good men/women/talking animals to become the island's voice for the next semester.

Students, teachers, townies, newcomers, old hands—everyone is welcome to try out.

Beginning Monday, January 6 (the first day of classes with all of the newbies, we play hardcore, yeah), everyone who’s interested—new talent and old talent —will have an on-air audition (meaning that they’ll do a recap for everyone to read. It’ll also give them an idea of how much time the coding will take and give them a final chance to flee from the chaos).

I’ll then put up a poll and you’ll all get to vote for the seven people/things who will be bringing the news to Fandom for the next semester.

This is also your chance to do a one-off: if you've always wanted to do radio for just one night, here's the place to volunteer for it! Aren't I sweet? You can also sign up here to volunteer to become an honorary squirrel: one of our intrepid research staffers.

If you're interested, please drop a comment in this post.

Thanks!


Take It Easy (Live) - Eagles

I be likeguidelines, which be making this the one, the only, Pirate Radio.

Be ye missin' me at all? O' course ye have! I be ruggedly good-lookin' even when I not be a bottle o' rum. Which were the best thing ever, in case ye be wonderin'.

We be movin' on, though. Bottles o' rum cannot do a broadcast. Believe me, I be tryin' some days.

Readin', Writin', 'n 'Rithamatic
Hades be makin' some manner o' announcement. I be suspectin' it be not "his hair be fabulous," as me notes say. Mayhaps he be needin' some manner o' pick-me-up, though, in which case, I be sure his hair be terribly appealin' 'n in no way destructive t' the paint on the ceilin' o' the radio studio.

Tannim be eatin' alone today, Isabel be openin' the library, 'n Yomiko 'n Angela be thar, too, as good library wenches be. Irulan--who be havin' some wonderful hats, by the way--be stoppin' by t' chat about the weekend. Her roommate were turned into a blonde with enormous tracts o' land! Lucky wench. *mutters* Oh? The squirrels be sayin' I should be doin' this.

*blows whistle*

I be thinkin' the squirrels be gettin' into the rum when I be not watchin'.

Forensic Science--wit' the lovely Molly as victim o' the week--be learnin' about matchin' wounds t' weapons. It be a fine art, tellin' the difference between a scimitar 'n a broadsword wound. Jes' ask me friend No Arms McCoy. Anyway, the students investigate the scene o' the crime, then go back t' the lab 'n announce the murderer. It were no one ye know. *shuffles papers* Wait. It be sayin' the butler did it. Be *that* why Alfred skipped town?

Huntin' be learnin' about the importance o' salt 'n iron. Mixed together properly, they be makin' one heck o' an appetizer. They be gettin' toys from Professor Winchester--since he be such a cuddly type, I be bettin' the toys be soft 'n pink--then talk about their experience wit' firearms. Since this be Huntin', I be guessin' that be not a euphemism. Although Chris be askin' Parker t' show him how t' use his, so...it might be. Anyway, Neil be wonderin' if thar be alternatives t' firearms offered in the next class. Ye go up against something nasty 'n tryin' t' kill ye with a sharp pokey stick or a firm word or whatever. See how that works fer ye.

Spy Tech be rescuin' a kidnapped wench. I be not knowin' her name, so I be callin' her Ima Easyncheep. *laughter* I be crackin' meself up. They also be turnin' in thar cameras from last week's homework 'n Annette? The squirrels still be a mite cranky with ye, wench.

US History be watchin' the Colbert Report wit' Hades o' the fabulous hair. Willow be wonderin' if Hades be likin' her fruit basket, which I be assumin' be actually involvin' fruit as it be Willow 'n I might be a pirate but thar be some places even I be not comfortable going, and Blair be flailin' like a flailin' thing that flails.

*pause* Ye need t' stop watchin' terrible television in yer time off, me hearties.

*squirrelly shuffling*

Engineerin' talks about makin' rhubarb pie. Or engineerin', but I be thinkin' mine be more interestin'. They be workin' on homework--when they be not passin' notes, Bridge 'n Willow--'n then Bridge 'n Cally be apologizin' fer bein' giant class-skippin' slackers last week.

Aye, we do know everything.

Extraterr....Alien things Class be havin' Kaylee speakin'. She be the cutest alien ever, aye? Creative Writin' be speakin' o' creatin' decent characters. I be thinkin' Hermione be havin' a lot t' add t' that converastion, aye? Especially after last weekend. Speakin' o' characters, Nova 'n Nadia be bringin'...little stuffed friends wit' them t' class.

...that might be a euphemism.

Movin' on! El Mariachi be havin' office hours, though he be alone. Mayhap he can be writin' a sad, sad song about that. It should talk about drinkin'. And oranges.

More things should try t' rhyme wit' oranges. Like, um, kumquat. And llamas.

*squirrelly snickers*

They be totally rhymin'. Hush. But not t' worry--no one be visitin' Sakura or Doc Venture either. Though Doc Venture be hidin', so mayhaps that be what suited him. Be ye a hooker this weekend? It were goin' around, apparently.

Deadpool be gettin' visited by Schrodinger, Conner-who-be-spellin'-his-name-wrong, 'n Yon...dom-mee. Mayhaps that could rhyme wit' orange-eee, too.

Roomin'
Aeryn 'n John be wakin' up, as ye do. And John's "Bertram" be demanding. *papers shuffle* That might be a euphemism. In possibly related news, Nova's plush turtle be able t' do backflips. I be hearin' that Bridge be chargin' extra fer makin' his, er, turtle, do that this weekend. Tori's stuffed dolphin...

*more papers shuffle*

Ye aren't even tryin' tonight, are ye? Tori's "stuffed dolphin" be "makin' noises" 'n wakin' Angela up. Thar be no notes indicatin' if that be a euphemism, either, so I be sayin' yes. Naomi's "flotter doll"--which I be thinkin' be somethin' ye could pick up at the Sin, if ye be so inclined--be wakin' her up, which be almost as worrisome as Weiss's smokin' monkey. A few weeks o' penicillin'll clear that right up, matey. Have Parker get tested, too, jes' in case. Mayhaps Pippi be needin' some as well--wenches normally be not havin' monkeys.

*squirrelly chittering* Oh, me mistake. That be an actual monkey. Not a euphemism.

Neil--who be not Doc Wilson--be makin' breakfast on third floor this mornin' before gettin' attacked by Nova's "plushie." Lucky Neil. Billy be not t' Nova's "plushie's" taste. Be not worried, Billy. Not everyone be meant t' have sex in their lives. Oh, wait. Maybe this Ami wench will help ye out!

Walter be movin'. I be not blamin' him. Pippi 'n Nadia both be offerin' t' help, which be mighty charitable. Thar be no word whether either o' them will be bringin' any manner o' euphemism--like, say, Annette's "evil pig"--wit' them.

Ander's "action figgers"--ye be havin' more than one? I be thinkin' that were only one old student's problem--be bogglin' Tori. Ye were showin' yer action figgers t' the wench? Nicely played, Anders!

Hunter be attackin' Dean's rock'em, sock'em robots. If that be the same thing as an "action figger", then that be no way t' be celebratin' a birthday (though Alec be tryin' to make it a happy one). Tannim's "mustangs" be racin', Valentine's balls be chasin' him 'n that jes' can't be comfortable, 'n Setsuna's plushies be rollin' in her underwear. Ye all be sick, sick people. Zuko's headless bear be freakin' Mel out. As it should be. *shuffling paper* Oh, it be not supposed t' be like that. And Zuko be not happy at the change o' events. Now the wench be needin' a new, non-burned comforter.

Lana be studyin', Parker 'n Jack be plottin', Jaye be watchin' her Obi-Wans fight each other, 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker be sewin' himself a lovely frock. Zero, Isabel 'n Teddy be stoppin' in t' watch.

Down at the shootin' range, Jack be tryin' to shoot wit' one eye closed. Irulan 'n Professor Harrington be joinin' him.

Seely be runnin' cheerleader practice. I be not wantin' t' know why. Buffy be puttin' people on teams. Thar be a joke about teams 'n Seely playin' fer the wrong one, but I be too mature t' make it. Tori 'n Annette are happy t' be together. And if ye be wearin' bitty skirts 'n mayhaps hittin' each other wit' pillows, well, I be happy too. Molly 'n Phoebe be deceptively cute, River be nursin' a cold 'n D'anna be wearin' her own underwear. Be this normally somethin' that is a question, wench? She also be wantin' t' throw Nadia into the air. Watch yer underwear. Lana 'n Phoebe be apologizin' t' each other--no word on their underwear--and thar be general warmin' up, oglin', 'n gratefulness fer bein' thwarted in tryin' t' take over the world.

I love this town. Anyway. Nadia be havin' pink pony issues--be that another way o' talkin' about yer time o' the month?--and Seely were chased by a horny puppet. Aren't we all, metaphorically speakin'? *more papers shuffle* Oh, it's an actual puppet. That be strange.

River be thinkin' so, too. She be havin' jes' about enough o' today 'n is hidin' wit' Blair. I be thinkin' she shouldn't be hearin' about Nadia tryin' t' dye her pink pony. So...not another term fer a woman's time. If it be what I'm thinkin', it be bold t' try t' do that in a common room. Annette 'n Pippi be helpin' 'n introducin' Billy t' someone called Wormy. Billy be gettin' laid yet! Especially since he be thinkin' pink ponies be mythical. Poor boy. But so did Anders, 'n he dated Cally fer a while. Surely she let ye see her pink pony? He be whippin' out his "action figgers" 'n stunnin' the whole room. Setsuna in particular be not happy.

Tori's "flipper" and Nadia's "pink pony" meet, and so do Tori's...pet 'n Pippi's 'n then Tori offers t' lend hers t' Billy 'n I think I be needin' t' have a nice long lie-down. In news that be much less interestin', Tori 'n Annette decide t' go t' Dean's party 'n Broots pops his head in t' say hello.

In a different common rooms, Teddy 'n Chad be cuddly. Thar be no notes whether thar be "action figgers" involved. Thar be balls on the second floor, though! It be seemin' that Valentine still be outsmarted by them.

Revelin'

All 'n Sundries be gettin' a new Squishy machine any day now, thanks t' Sparky Repairs, so stop yer twitchin', Lana be spendin' most o' her shift productively on the phone, 'n Empire Records be playin' glam rock o' the 70s, which be some o' my favorite non-shanty music.

Ami be readin' in the park 'n a reporter who be not a squirrel be thar too. Parker be talkin' t' him. Anything she might be sayin' about me lack o' journalistic integrity be completely true.

Balthier be needin' his weapons cleaned because o' the pie thing yesterday, the Doctor be needin' his dosage upped because he were playin' chess wit' a stuffed pink rhinoscerous, which be too involvin' t' notice Leo 'n his puppet. Jane be thinkin' the Doctor's behavior be insane, though Rosette be offerin' other games. I be not thinkin' it were the game that be the strange bit), 'n then Rose be stoppin' by t' see the inside o' the TARDIS.

Lucifer be serving Yuki drinks at the Devil's Nest, and over at Caritas, Leo be wonderin' what be goin' on in the lounge. It be a birthday party fer Dean--complete wit' presents 'n cake 'n a birthday boy 'n lots o' talkin' 'n ye be not invited because ye be old 'n crusty-lookin'. 'n I be spendin' enough time on pirate ships t' be an excellent judge o' crusty. In non-birthday news, Isabel be talkin' t' Jarod 'n avoidin' GOB, as all girls wit' a lick o' sense--not ye, Becky--should do.

Thar also be a frog the size o' a house. In case ye be wantin' t' know.

The clinic be quiet day 'n night, which be disappointin'. Mayhaps people will be droppin' by fer shots, wit' all the talk o' pink ponies 'n "action figgers" 'n the like.

That be all from the Crow's Nest! Tomorrow ye'll be gettin' t' vote fer yer favorite broadcasters, so until then keep yer eye out fer the Matey-Wit'-the-Hat 'n have a good night!

This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the influx o' new people t' the island 'n let me jes state upfront that I be hatin' ye all.

*sounds of drinking*

*for a very, very long time*

Roomin'
Jack 'n Sam-who-be-a-wench be wakin' up together this mornin'. Zuko be arrivin', as be Teddy, Dean-who-be-a-woodsman--his name be Forrester--, Schrodinger, Billy. Togusa be back from the summer 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker be headin' fer home temporarily. Take me wit' ye, Peter!

Sam-who-be-not-a-wench be havin' a bad dream 'n tellin' Dawn about it, Willow be bringin' Dr. P-whatever candles--it be her birthday--even though Janet be worried about the fire hazard. Where I be comin' from, thar be no electricity. Ye have t' be stupid or drunk or both t' burn the place down wit' a candle. Professor Calendar be back as well, Pippi be helpin' Zuko t' settle in 'n Eric be sendin' email t' his roomate.

Briar 'n JD be in thar room, Lana be in her new room, Tim be stoppin' by t' see River, 'n Pippi 'n Jim be stoppin' by t' say hello t' Chad. We be havin' someone named Chad now? Huh.

But it be not all hellos today. Veronica also be leavin'. Cally, Jaye, Lana, Callisto, Anakin, Alanna, Xander, Cameron, Bel, Angela, Parker, Tim, Phoebe, Pip, Marty, Tyler, Connernanders, Rory, Nadia, Chloe, 'n Major K! Highlights be includin' boykissy, girlkissy 'n tasers. Only in Fandom.

Archie be sayin' goodbye as well--to Cally, Parker, Molly 'n Cameron.

'n if that be not enough, thar be people in a common room, too. Marie be makin' fried chicken 'n tellin' Kaylee, Cally, 'n Conner about her terrible date wit' Jamie. Bel/a> be tryin' t' get her interested in wenches instead. That be a noble goal. Briar be offerin' t' stab Jamie, but I be thinkin' thar might be a bit o' a line fer that. Bel 'n Blair be tryin' t' figure out if they be havin' sex. D' yer bums hurt? That be a pretty good indication.

*long pause*

I be hearin'. Blair 'n Marie be wantin' a Datin' fer Dummies book, Conner be tellin' Cally about his twin--be it an actual twin or a Fandom twin? This be an important distinction--'n Z be lovin' Marie fer cookin'. Jamie be thar, too, apologizin' t' Marie, but I be thinkin' it might be takin' a mite more than that.

Up on the roof, On the roof, Nadia be helpin' Bridge 'n Xander break up with brownies. WHAT? They best be breakin' up with the sweet 'n not wit' each other or I be havin' a glittery flag fer no good reason.

Revelin'
In town, thar be newcomers, too. Laura Roslin be arrivin', as be Yondaime, Mary Poppins 'n Jesse Custer. He be meetin' Schrodinger, Mary Poppins, Aly, the Doctor, 'n Wilson (who be back 'n meetin' Jane 'n seein' Bel again). El Mariachi also be arrivin', as be someone goin' by V--not the wench, who be leavin' us *sniffles*--'n Thursday Next. I be thinkin' that be a date...

Aly be gettin' an apartment, as be Wilson 'n thar be minglin' type things. Logan-who-be-not-a-bunny be gettin' tenants fer his house.

GOB 'n Becky be out on a date! I be thinkin' the correct response here be "awww." Angela be interviewin' Daisy at the Perk.

All 'n Sundries be open. Thar be people buyin' soap 'n other things 'n I be not really givin' a damn.

No one be in the clinic, either mornin' or evenin'.

At Caritas, Lorne, El, 'n Wilson sing 'n , Lorne be doin' a dedication fer Veronica 'n Archie. Smooth winds 'n a followin' sea t' ye, Archie!

*sighs, more drinking* Ye all be talkin', too. Wilson be meetin' Greg, Rosette be meetin' the new preacher, Jesse be meetin' El, 'n Walter be meetin' John-who-be-a-Constantine

Greg be meeitn' Laura Roslin, Lorne be gettin' confused by Seely-who-be-not Angel--welcome back, Lorne!--'n Alanna be makin' the same mistake.

Greg be meetin' Seely 'n Lorne, Pippi be meetin' John-who-be-a-Constantine, 'n Seely be havin' a death wish<. Ye don't be flirtin' wit' Parker without callin' her Cha-Cha first!

Alanna 'n Faithful be talkin' to Greg 'n Isabel, 'n Greg be tellin' Isabel that he be stickin' around. Sister Rosette be missin' booze--ye can't have mine--and Phoebe were missin' Wilson. So were Alanna

Zero be tellin' Greg about the book signin', Parker be chattin' with Jarod, (as be Lorne), 'n Walter and Pippi talk about their Little Brothers.

Parker be goin' on vacation, but she be plannin' t' spar wit' Alanna first. Parker 'n Jack also be talkin' about the new students. All of whom I be hatin'. Jes makin' that clear. Zero be tellin' Parker about her new Little Sister, 'n Veronica 'n Archie be sayin' goodbye t' Lorne.

All ye damn new people

'n thar be quite the busy day as new students 'n teachers be arrivin' on the island. Be watchin' out fer gremlins 'n be ignorin' any shrub that be seemin' t' take an interest in yer conversations. 'n the cafeteria be not that bad.

Thar be a big party in front o' the doors, where old students 'n new could be mixin'. Pippi be meetin' Zuko, Skif be meetin' Cally 'n chattin' wit' Nadia 'n Naomi, Bel be waitin' fer some Luke person who be not here yet, 'n Lana be meetin' the first o' our new clone-types: Seely-who-be-not Angel. Willow be meetin' Billy, Phoebe be gettin' Schrodinger which be soundin' like a shoe t' me, 'n Dana be arrivin' as well. Peter-who-be-English be meetin' Jim, Marty be meetin' Teddy, 'n Ray 'n Greg be gettin' acquainted. Greg be havin' a mite o' a death wish, Ray, so be careful.

Marie be meetin' Eric, Alphonse be meetin' Hikaru, 'n Chad 'n Aeryn be gettin' acquainted. Bridge's little siblin' be not showin' up right away--mayhaps she be off with this Luke person--Zero be meetin' a wench wit' a terribly unfortunate last name. Nitt? Ye be havin' me sympathies. Molly be gettin' t know Wilhemina, Isabel be doin' the same wit' Barbara 'n the same wit' Alphonse 'n Hermione.

*cackles* They've been here. I jes' wanted t' see if ye were still awake. Because ye be not wantin' to miss this. Thar be two Deans now. And the new Dean be lookin' jes like old Dean's brother Sam-who-be-not-a-wench. Would ye all like some o' me rum?

*more laughter* Anyway, Dean-who-be-a-woodsman be meetin' Walter, Layla 'n Dawn. Dean-who-be-not-Alec be also meetin' Layla 'n Tyler 'n John-who-be-Dorian 'n as far as I be tellin' not turned into any manner o' animal--which can happen--be talkin'. And so be Matilda 'n John-who-be-a-menagerie at times. But not today. Jes' makin' that clear. Kaylee be meetin' yet another John--I be callin' him Skippy now--Rory be meetin' Lyra 'n Alanna 'n Faithful be thar, too.

Like I'd be givin' ye me rum.

Peter-who-be-a-Parker be meetin' Summer, Broots be meetin' Pete-who-be-new, Blair be meetin' Evie, Hamlet 'n Carmela be gettin' acquainted 'n so be Pip 'n Kaoru 'n Hikaru.

'n then they all be meetin' thar roommates. Lana be thar, but her roommate be not. Neither be Alanna's. Agnes 'n Joxer be roomin' together, as be Pete-who-be-new 'n Eric, Naomi 'n Sir Didymus, Evie 'n Layla, Billy 'n Schrodinger, 'n Dean-who-be-a-woodsman 'n Lyra.

And since it be Fandom, thar be mingling. Seely-who-be-not-Angel be meetin' Dana, Marty, Dawn, Pippi, Zero, Molly, Jaye, Rory, Nadia, Billy, 'n Isabel. Those be mostly wenches. Well done, Seely! Naomi be meetin' Jude 'n Billy, 'n Zuko be introducin' himself t' Dawn, Pippi, Jaye, Molly, 'n the twins. Pip 'n Pippi also be talkin', but I be less interested. Ray be meetin' Seely, Jaye, Dawn, Molly, Nadia, 'n Isabel. Alphonse met Matilda, Sam-who-be-a-wench talked wit' Aeryn, 'n Teddy be meetin' Cally, Ranma, Zero, 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean. Alanna 'n Faithful be meetin' Lyra 'n Summer, who also be meetin' Jaye, Billy, Alec 'n Cally. Pete-who-be new be gettin' acquainted wit' Cally 'n Billy, who also be meetin' Aeryn.

Xander be not new, but he be thar talkin' wit' Parker-who-be-a-wench 'n Bridge. Zero be not new either 'n be chattin' wit' Peter-who-be-a-Parker. Evie be new 'n be meetin' Dean-who-be-not-Alec, Cally, Hermione, 'n Jack. Wilhemina be meetin' Alphonse 'n Teddy, Dean-who-be-not-Alec 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean be chattin'. Dean-who-be not Alec also be meetin' Naomi. Billy met Cally, Alfonse 'n Nadia be talkin', as be Rory 'n Dawn. Rory then be seein' Dean-who-be-a-woodsman 'n that be not at awkward. Except fer the part where it be terribly awkward.

Alec-who-be-not-Dean, either the woodsman or otherwise, be talkin' wit' Jaye, Cally, Evie, Billy, 'n Dean-who-be-a-woodsma. Thar were Shawn talkin' wit' Blair, Sam-who-be-not-a-wench 'n his double ('n then his brother), Jack 'n Jaye, Blair 'n Billy, Jaye 'n Carmela (who also be talkin' wit' Matilda), 'n Stark 'n Aeryn.

*sounds of heavy drinkin'* Ye be killin' me. *deep breath*

Chad be meetin' Teddy, Pip, Ranma 'n the twins. Peter-who-be-English be sayin' hello t' S-wench, as be Ranma 'n the twins. Jaye 'n Nadia be talkin', as be Jaye 'n Dean-who-be-not-Alec. Lana be meetin' Matilda, the twins, Jim, 'n Billy. Jim be meetin' Cally, Dean-who-be-not-Alec, 'n Blair. The twins be meetin' Matilda, Ranma 'n Billy 'n I be wantin' those nasty Gentlemen t' come back 'n shut ye all up. Walter be talkin' t' Nadia, Schrodinger 'n Billy.

That be all from the Crow's Nest, where I be Barbossa, good, drunk 'n hatin' ye all.

[OOC: Seriously, hating you all. Much, much love to the radio research crew for insane link fu.]

*sounds of Certain People singing on the beach last night*

Bomp babbaloobomp a whomp bam boom! Oh, this be on. This be likeguidelines bringin' ye the news from what be possibly the Greatest Weekend Ever that be humiliatin' people who be not me.

Be ye curious? Turn up the volume. The pirate be tellin' all, me hearties.

Camp Ohgodiwannadie

In Squirrel this mornin', Pippi--who be not answerin' t' Jan anymore--be babblin' at Pip about yesterday, then she 'n Seras be fantasizin' about brunch at Cafe Fina. That probably be a euphemism. Out in public 'n everything! I be so proud o' ye, wenches.

The basketball team be practicin' 'n commisseratin' about yesterday. Which were the Best Day Ever because it be not happenin' t' me. Peter-who-be-not-Doody 'n Cameron be talkin' about the radio broadcast last night. Which be remindin' me--John, thar be a bottle o' rum wit' yer name on it here at the studio. Peter-who-be-not-Doody be apologizin' t' Isabel fer askin' her out 'n callin' her doll yesterday. What be wrong wit' callin' a wench doll? Tyler be gettin' valuable advice from Coach Bluth: more cheerleaders be better 'n Cameron be switchin' teams. *papers rustle* I be told that might not be dirty, but I be not believin' that.

In th' Autonomous Collective o' Shirtless Seahorses, Jaye 'n Cedric be talkin' about Quiddich. It be soundin' dirty. *papers shuffle* Apparently Jaye be thinkin' so to. It be not. I be disappointed, honestly. Sam-who-be-not Sandy also be not so terribly stealthy. Jaye be convincin' her t' be gettin' shirtless 'n thinkin' about gettin' some bodyguards. Jaye be quite talented. Cedric be thar t' tease Sam about yesterday as well. Sam? As far as I be concerned? Ye can cook any time ye'd like. Dean-who-be-not-Alec-or-Kenickie be not that mad at ye, either, so ye can come out o' yer room soon, I be sure. Wearin' those pants from yesterday, if ye be wantin' my preference.

*pause*

Which ye probably didn't. We be movin' on.

Cedric also be healin' up nicely from the not-nearly-as-fun shenanigans o' last weekend--Jack be happy about that and jes' as happy t' celebrate Shirtless Day, though he do be wishin' that there could be stereo shirtlessness wit' Dean-who-be-not-Alec-or Kenickie 'n Alec-who-be-not-Dean. One shirtless clone be enough t' make Jaye happy, though.

At the Meerkat campfire, Peter-who-be-a-Parker also now be a blond. It be a much better job than his hair from yesterday, if ye be wonderin'. In other yesterday-related news, Tyler be very glad that River were not around t' witness his fashion choices yesterday 'n a mite confused about the pages o' equations he wrote up. Be ye plannin' to tell her about gettin' a wedgie from Peter-who-be-not-an-actual-griffon? Because that be a highlight t' me. He 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker be plottin' t' retrieve the film commemoratin' the events o' yesterday.

*hearty laughter*

Good luck wit' that.

Isabel be catchin' Aeryn-who-be-a-princess-later up wit' the events o' yesterday. Be ye mentionin' the rickshaw races? 'n the moonin'? Aeryn be a mite mesmorized by Peter-who-be-a-Parker's blond hair.

Parker-who-be-a-right-slutty-wench-yesterday be wantin' to kill everythin' this mornin'. I be havin' photographs o' her grabbin' Anakin's ass yesterday...*more laughter* He be lookin' like a pretty decent kisser fer a eunuch.

*pause* Not that I be thinkin' about that. AT ALL. 'n these be not doctored photographs, Parker-who-be-right-slutty-wench-yesterday. So yer plottin' be comin' t' naught.

Alanna be slightly more interested in hearin' about what she did at Caritas on Friday night than what Parker-who-be-a-right-slutty-wench-yesterday be doin' yesterday.

Rory-who-be-not-Frenchy also be a blonde this morning--she be not as pleased about it as Peter-who-be-a-Parker be 'n gettin' Isabel t' change it back. She 'n Parker also be comin' t' an accord not t' discuss at all what be happenin' yesterday. Which part? The part where Rory be callin' Parker-who-be-right-slutty-wench-yesterday a skank or when Parker be callin' her flat-chested?

Anyway, at least Callisto be gettin' some sleep.

Back in the dorms, where walls be not thick enough t' hide from humiliation.

In the fourth floor common room, Dean-who-be-not-Alec-nor-Kenickie be makin' breakfast. It best be good, Dean--Dawn be thar 'n able t' swing a mean fryin' pan. I be havin' pictures o' that, by the way, if anyone be so inclined. She seems t' have forgiven him, though, fer thar be canoodlin' 'n a date tonight 'n as far as I knowin', no manner o' violence. Brother Sam be slightly harder t' convince, though. Hopefully thar be no try o' canoodlin'. Because that be wrong. Ivanova 'n Maia be thar, too and if ye thinkin' that be not the most awkward conversation in the history o' ever, I be wantin' t' know yer nomination. Joxer be havin' turnip stew, which might be his last meal, but more on that a bit later. Wait, we be havin' more "Joxer be a stupid bastard" news. He 'n Kaylee be havin' a tiff about him 'n Cally.

*pause*

Ye be in no way smart enough t' keep two wenches, Joxer. Be pickin' one.

On the second floor, Molly 'n Cameron be makin' brownies 'n Cally 'n Cameron be talkin' baked goods, relationships 'n self-defense. In Fandom, I can be seein' the link. Cally then be in the gym sparrin' wit' Walter. *papers rustle* I be not thinkin' that be a euphemism.

Parker 'n Lana be introspective today, thar be a random sheet wit' Ranma in the fourth floor common room 'n *gales of laughter* Aeryn be gettin' bit by a gremlin 'n thinkin' she be a printheth! Princess, I be meanin'. Lispin' be contagious. Her newly decided royalty 'n declaration o' bein' married be comin' as a nasty shock t' John. Ranma be tryin' t' rescue her as she be requestin' but be at a loss as t' how t' do it. Aeryn be torn between thinkin' Rory be a maid or a lesbian thar t' rescue her. Mayhaps Rory could be a lesbian dressed as a maid? Jes' throwin' ideas out thar. Aeryn also be thinkin' that Hamlet be her new butler.

The Tick be at a loss as t' the behavior but be warnin' Aeryn against lava monsters before askin' Rory t' help out wit' the Festivus celebration on Friday 'n Lecturin' Joxer fer bein' a damn stupid bastard.

Turn up the radio. This be important when ye be wonderin' where Joxer be disappearin' to. He be tryin' t' feel up Aeryn Sun. She be slappin' the hell out of him while she be thinkin' she be someone else. I be thinkin' she be killin' him wit' a fryin' pan 'n hidin' the body tomorrow, and I be not blamin' her a bit.

Bridge 'n Aeryn be decidin' that they be not compatible post-rescue 'n so be scrappin' the entire thing, and Anakin be finally rescuin' the printheth then be turnin' tail 'n runnin' when she be askin' to make out. Be ye seein' the footage from yesterday, Aeryn? He be havin' quite a talent fer it! Who knew?

After his encounter wit' Her Royal Highness in the lobby, Tim be thinkin' Aeryn be mean. Let me be the first t' break it to ye, Tim. Aeryn won't care. She be a mite busy bein' supercranky about it t' worry about yer delicate feelings. Because the Printheth's reign be not completed. Thar still be Caritas. We get thar in a minute.

Jude be tellin' S-wench about the weird dream he be havin' yesterday. It be no dream 'n I be havin' the photos t' prove it.

*cackling*

Oh, this weekend be the best thing ever.

*something that sounds a bit like the two parts of "Summer Dreams" spliced together with banthabell. It's...unique.*

In town, where the streets were alive wit' the sound o' caterwaulin' yesterday.

GOB be back from what I be sure be a fascinatin' adventure, Jude be skateboardin' in the park 'n talkin' with Ranma, possibly even at the same time, Clark be at Cafe Fina fer brunch 'n Tim be all alone in Luke's.

Elliot in the mornin' 'n Janet in the evenin' be findin' the clinic as quiet as Luke's.

Ye know where it be not quiet, though? Caritas! Where Aeryn be singin' "Ever the Same." Out loud. In public.

*"Ever the Same" plays. Three times.*

John be tellin' GOB about Aeryn bein' married. GOB be tellin' him t' go to the Sin, then be gettin' a drink thrown at him by Aeryn. Surprisingly, these two events be not related. John be not particularly thrilled t' see Aeryn--who be not particularly polite t' Parker-who-be-a-wench--but he be more than happy t' leave when the venom be wearin' off.

In non-Aeryn news, Parker be not tellin' Cally that she be spendin' most o' yesterday wit' her tongue in Anakin Skywalker-who-be-a-eunuch-'n-possibly-a-duck's mouth. Parker be talkin' Fandom weirdness wit' Isabel 'n promisin' t' tip GOB well if he be not askin' why she be needin' t' drink. Please rewind yer tapes to be reminded o' why Parker be needin' t' drink.

And no, that be never gettin' old.

Peter-who-be-a-Parker be inteviewin' Doctor Cox, GOB be tellin' Isabel about his adventures on th' high seas--did ye run into Davy Jones, by any chance?--'n offerin' Alanna a job as a ventriloquist. Parker-who-shouldn't-be-offerin'-anyone-an-opinion-on-lifestyle-choices be questionin' Alanna's drinkin'. Speakin' o' lifestyle choices, Greg's hairgel be important enough t' him that he be bringin' it up in two separate conversations.

Thar also be a whole bunch o' people on the beach. As far as I can be tellin', Angela, Marty, Bridge, Xander, Callisto, 'n Z be not singin' down on the beach tonight. That be a shame.

That be all from the Crow's Nest! Keep an eye out fer wenches wit' fryin' pans--Joxer, ye be warned--and have a good night!