Evening Fandom. It's me, Jamie Madrox and tonight I'm surrounded by some very tired squirrels.

*tired chittering*

Well why don't you guys just go to sleep?

*more tired chittering*

No. You don't get extra nuts and rum before bedtime. It's not healthy.

*And even more tired chittering*

Okay. But when I'm done? You go right to sleep. Okay? Good. Now let's get all snuggled under your blankets and will start our little story time.

( Once upon a Fandom... )

Good evening Fandom. No. This isn't Jamie Madrox. I might sound like Jamie Madrox but reallly I'm just a duplicate he created so he could go out and have fun all night while I get stuck here going *BLEEP*ing blind trying to read some chickenscratch notes by some *BLEEP*ing rodents.

That's right Fandom. You go out have fun without me. I have my bitterness and a bottle of rum to keep me happy.

You bunch of *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*.

( Talk about a complete reversal from last night's broadcast )

*Five minutes of barking, yowling, yipping and chittering*

*Then a beep*

Jamie: -no way am I doing that.

Dale: It's the only way we can effectively combat the zombie menace.

Jamie: Have you looked at us? I mean, COME ON! You're a freakin' BUNNY! I'm a Chihuahua!

Worf: Size matters not in battle.

Jamie: So when they step on you and die a flat kitty pancake, that's acceptable to you?

Worf: To die in battle is the-

Indiana: Highest honor. Yeah, kid you've only mentioned that a dozen times.

Jamie: What are you going to do? Pounce them to death?

Dor: Um. Everyone? That red light thing is on.

Worf: Yes. And I have activated the universal translator circuit so we may be understood.

Jamie: You mean you pressed the blue button. Wow. That's impressive.

Worf: Says the rat-dog who couldn't find it.

Jamie: I'M A FREAKING DOG! I'M COLOR BLIND!

Dale: Mr. Madrox that will be quite enough. We have duty to relate the daily news items to the public and assure their safety.

Indiana: Yeah, C'mon kid. Let's get this broadcast over before the zombies find us.

Jamie: Fine. And for the record? I hate you all.

( The news. Now with talking animals! )

Radio 3-6

Jamie: #1: Good evening Fandom! Tonight WTFH Radio and Multiple Madrox Productions are proud to present a blast from the past! That's right kids and critters! We're doing old timey radio. You see folks back before this thing called the internet there was radio!

Jamie #2: Actually before the internet there was game consoles. And video games. And before that there was mainframes but you couldn't do anything fun with that. But even then we had TV. And before that it was black and white TV. And then before that-

Jamie #1: Yeah. Okay. We get the picture. Shut up and go get in costume.

Jamie #2: You realize that no one can actually see the costume.

Jamie #1: Will you just put on the dreadlock wig?

Jamie #2: But-

Jamie #1: Shut it! And now for your listening pleasure, I present the Old Time Radio Madrox Players in "Fandom Island Events"

Music: Dramatic Organ Music

Jamie #2: That's your title?

Jamie #1: Shut up and get in character.

( Old Timey Radio! This can't go wrong at all! )