Fandom Radio: Friday, September 2nd

[exactlyaverage.livejournal.com]

Jack: Hello and Good Morning Fandom. I'm Jack Carter...

Columbus: And I'm Columbus Ohio. This is the morning news and-

*Door slam*

Jamie: SQUIRRELS!

Jack: Who the hell is that?

Jamie: I'm back squirrels! Did you miss me?

*THWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCK*

Columbus: Judging by that reaction... I'd say no.

Jamie: Aww. They're just playing with me. Right guys?

Jack: Okay. I've never seen a squirrel snarl before.

Columbus: That was actually creepy.

Jamie: So what are you guys doing?

Jack: Well. We we're sitting here. In a news studio. With a bunch of notes to read-

Jamie: Ooo! Can I help?

Columbus: I don't see why not.

Jack: Oh, this won't end well.

School

Jack: Kicking off the schoolday was Elements of Friendship taught by Pinkie the talking horse.

Jamie: Mr. Ed?

Jack: Uh. No. Pinkie.

Jamie: The talking horse?

Jack: Yes.

Jamie: Totally Mr. Ed.

Jack: Riiiiight. So in the lecture Pinkie-

Jamie: Mr. Ed.

Jack: -told everyone that they would be the BESTEST of friends and then had to introduce themselves while wearing party hats and then Juliet got to be a TA.

Columbus: Then in Sensitivity training Guy made everyone do introductions changed the name of the class to "How not to be a jerk."

Jack: Maybe our visitor should go to that class.

Jamie: Maybe you should go to that class.

Jack: I am in that class!

...

Jack: Well so much for trying to show up the new guy.

Jamie: And then in Tropes and Scope some chick name Belle made the kids do introductions and talk about their favorite type of story while pretending that her class isn't stolen from the internet.

Jack: Her class is on the internet?

Columbus: Don't go to the site. I started reading it once and missed two entire day of classes.

Jack: That's... really sad.

Jamie: Pitiful really.

Columbus: Go ahead. Judge me. I don't care. I memorized every trope for Lightening Bug with perfect recall.

Jack: That's... More than sad.

Jamie: Extremely pitiful.

Columbus: Oh! Look! More notes. Looks like the teachers were busy today. Hercules and Summer were working hard in their respective offices. Zoe was on the phone all day and got a visit from Jamie. Anakin was working on his class and got a visit from Jamie and Raven. Deadpool was taking care of Jan and writing... naughty things and then got visits from a distressedWarren and then got a visit from Petra about having him become a faculty sponsor for a club.

Dorms

Jamie: Let's see, over in the common room Ender was reading a book and chatted with Tara about their summers. Nathan went to the roof to smoke. And then Gabrielle cooked up a ton of bacon of which Alex tried to mooch.

Jack: Well come on. It's bacon. Who wouldn't mooch?

Columbus: I'm not a big fan of bacon, actually.

Jack: Yeah. Well. You're...

Jamie: Special.

Town!

Columbus: Let's see. Over in the clinic Scully reviewed her courseload for the semester. Alex Aaron put up a confusing sign at Welllspring Arms. Fraser hung out with Diefenbeker at MHA. And Kenzi was running Caritas with Mr. Caffrey who was still a cat.

Jamie: And then the rest of the town was eaten by rogue mutated tumbleweeds.

Jack: No they weren't.

Jamie: However the tumbleweeds were then eaten by a random swarm of Locust/Monkey hybrids.

Jack: You're being ridiculous.

Jamie: And then the Locust/Monkeys died of tumbleweed poisoning.

Jack: There's no such thing as tumbleweed poisoning.

Jamie: You have no sense of fun whatsover. Now where's the rum?

Columbus: You're drinking rum? It's not even 8:00 am yet?

Jamie: We just did the news!

Jack: That doesn't mean we just go off and get drunk.

Jamie: Who cares if we drink all the rum?

*THWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCKTHWOCK*

Columbus: Apparently the squirrels care.

Jamie: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

Jack: Nice aim. Thanks for listening folks! You all have a good morning and a pleasant day.

Jamie: And watch out for mutated tumbleweeds.

Jack: Oh just shut up already.