fandom_radio | Fandom Radio, Tuesday, May 8

Deadpool: "How exactly these squirrels found us, I'll never know. Hello Fandom! ...is this thing even working right?"

Aly: "I think they were following us the whole time. In tiny cars driving between your car's tires."

Arashi: "I dunno, there were those ground squirrels earlier.... Anyway! This is coming to you live from the Grand Canyon! Sorry there's no echo."

School

Deadpool: "Still a smoldering pile of ask and bricks AND MY BEA ARTHUR PICTURE!"

Arashi: "There there, I'm sure you'll find something in Vegas to placate you."

Aly: "Bea Arthur picture? I lost four good sets of lockpicks!"

Deadpool: "She's a goddess among women!"

Arashi: "Maybe we'll get you a nice picture of Tyra."

Aly: "No! Scary forehead!"

Dorms

Deadpool: "It could be used to ward off evil and students. Turtle tried to stand upside down on her hands today. Keep trying, minion! Soon you can kick people from a whole new angle! Annette showed up and then did a handstand and was promptly kicked by Turtle. I'm going to have to side with my minion on this. Loyalty and all. And then Billy showed up and his limp is better. He has a limp? I didn't know that."

Aly: "Isn't he part of the fake limb brigade?"
Deadpool: "Is he? Later, Jack made two devil's food cakes for Sam. I think it the girl Sam, but I'm really not sure so... Let's just say ambiguous Sam. Ambiguous Sam is afraid of baking, which makes sense only if her parents died in a horrible baking related accident. And if so, I apologize for bringing up such a terrible memory. Oh, and she got prezzies in the form of jewelry. Say it with diamonds. River told Jack about how she stole Sam's physics books while she was wee,what the hell? And then about beating up Captain Jack when she was big. Also, what the hell?"

Aly: "ALIENS BLEW UP THE SCHOOL and you're double-yoo-tee-effi-ing about wee children stealing books?"

Arashi: "Seriously, Wade. This is Fandom! Weird stuff happens."

Deadpool: "It's still strange! Redeemable Antgirl found out that Jack was leaving Sunday and told him that she wasn't trying to become a super soldier for the US. Of course not. Canada has that program now. Also showing up with prezzies for Ambiguous Sam was Kawalsky, but he was rude and didn't try the cake she made despite the horrible accident with her parents. Bastard. Jack, on the other hand, ate cake."

Deadpool: "Alanna and Faithful, who I have never met but know of through my radio co-host it seems are leaving. Oh. Aly, you okay?"

Aly: "Been better."

Deadpool: "Will a hug help? I won't even attempt to cop a feel."

Arashi: "I'm here too Aly, if you need it."

Deadpool: "Jack stopped by with prezzies and they talked about where they're going after this. Aeryn hoped her and Alanna can stay in touch. Also stopping by was Molly who said goodbye and told her to come back and hug Madrox in the fall. She should come back, but hugging Madrox? Rabies. That's all I have to say."

Aly: "And you were such a fan of Madrox always. More darts than anyone else."

Deadpool: "He knows what he did to deserve that. Alanna and Dawn got their huggy on and Alanna was told not to do anything dumb. Zero was next in the list of visitors, they talked about writing letters and not getting arrested. Both very good things to do. Then there was Isabel who brought pictures from last year and called her one of her inspirations. Awww. That's sweet. This radio is making me a teenage girl, isn't it?"

Aly: "You're already a teenage girl. And...you're not the only one."

Arashi: "Is that directed at me?"

Aly: "Well, it wasn't, but now I think it fits."

Arashi: "Aly!"

Deadpool: "Children. Also with the hugging and being called on doing dumb stuff by Alanna was Bel. Angela brought a necklace and talked about coming back for homecoming. And I think the squirrel may have cried a little here. Unless that's something el--tears. Let's go with tears. Bridge also came bearing prezzies in the form of a blanket because Alanna hates the cold. And Sam the girl offered to kidnap her, which never actually works the way you want. And then asked about what she would do when she got home."

Aly: "I'm going to assume she's going to go be an awesome knight. Just, you know, guessing. Alanna tells Parker how to keep in touch. Letters. I advise letters. Phoebe and Alanna joke about vacationing in hell dimensions. You know? That's seems less funny from this end than it should. And yes, you both ARE fired as school security officers, Marty and Alanna. Having the school blow up will do that to you. Xander stops by to drop off cat nip and what is certainly not an electric drill."

Deadpool: "What is it then?"

Aly: "Could be an electric drill. But there's no electricity in Tortall, so what's the point? Jack and Cedric get cuddly and adorable in the morning. Jim and Lana get snuggly in the afternoon. ...and I'm slightly jealous because I'm stuck with two emo UST boys here. Hi Josh! Will checks up on Valentine who's still under the bed. Annette does some spring cleaning and gives Cally a dildo cozy. I thought Cally had a girlfriend? What does she need a dildo for?"

Deadpool: "LESBIANS!"

Arashi: "..."

Aly: "Moron Number Four tells Isabel he's staying for the summer. Maybe you'll get really lucky and move up to Moron Number Three! Dick and Annette play the Cleavers. And, finally, Charlie says goodbye to Alanna before she goes back to Tortall to be a great knight. ...bye. Be well."

Town

Deadpool: "Zoe and John Not A Gun got a house together! Congratulations! They also talked about last years graduation. Aliens there too?"

Aly: "Last year, the mascot came to life, didn't you even look at the yearbook? Cafe Fina's open along with the Magic Box. People only care about magic though. By which I mean Buffy and Giles talked about the the school exploding. No. Really. I'm shocked. John Connor stopped by there as well as stopping by the Book Haven to pick up Tori for the beach party date. Annette's visiting the bookstore too looking for books on spying. Oh, Annette, you don't learn about spying in books.

Sparky Repairs is open. The Post Office is open for posting. Isabel tried to take advantage of it by picking up a package but got distracted by Sokka's alien talk and boomerang instead."

Deadpool: "Bad Ponytail! Bad! No taking out the boomerang in public."

Aly: "Katara and Molly take advantage of the nice weather by having a beach party. ...I miss the beach. And the ocean. That's what this desert is lacking. An ocean."

Arashi: "There's a river at the bottom of the Canyon."

Aly: "Molly and Katara talk about their workshops. At the beach? Come on, girls. Jake is HORRIBLY offended by Katara's preference for hot chocolate over coffee and draws Molly. Clothed. He draws her clothed before either of you say ANYTHING."

Deadpool: "I wasn't going to say a word! And I am shocked by the implication."

Arashi: "Suuure Wade... though I'm kind of offended by that you think I would." *Sniffs*

Aly: "You're both male. I've no illusions. Krycek shows up to talk to Jakey too. About butterflies and kittens. Katara gets teased about her kids by Mel. I know nothing about teasing. I never do it. And Mel's invited to California. Can we go to California? Do we have time?"

Arashi:I don't know. Do we? Is that the place with the mouse park? Any way moving on, Katara and Tori talk about graduation and confirm that neither of them are alien spies. John had a cooler full of hot dogs, hamburgers and a grill to go with them and shared some of the food with Tori and Annette.
There’s talk about the cummer… I mean SUMMER!! SUMMER!!!! Summer term! Ahh Hell.. So uuhh, Tori tells Molly that she’s going to be a TA in two classes this summer and is congratulated by Dawn on graduating, while Katara and Annette talk about the workshops they’re taking and Dawn and Molly think there should be a class on how to be lazy on the beach. I call dibs on that one!"

Deadpool: "Summer, huh? What's on your mind tonight?"

Arashi: "The guy I met at the bar.....?"

Deadpool: "...I see."

Arashi: "What?"

Deadpool: "Nothing."

Arashi:"Annette and Tori decide that they just want to live at the beach all summer, though I wouldn’t recommend it. You get really tired of the sand in uh… certain places…. Buffy and Katara are just happy to be in the sun, Buffy asks Tori about her surfboard, Will shows up and Dawn’s surprised that Katara knows about having fun on the beach. Everyone knows how to have fun! Especially on the beach, it lets out the inner kid in you. Unless you don't have an inner child and then... well you get sunburned? Annette and Buffy talk about fashion and shopping online because they don’t like to be alone…. And that isn’t supposed to be dirty! It’s just written that way I swear!"

Deadpool: "He lies folks, it's completely dirty."

Aly: "Hey. Stay away from dirty and my cheerleaders."

Arashi: "Christian opened the clinic this morning and Dr. Wilson did in the evening, though it was a bit slow. The photo hut opened and Leo watched the stars come out in the park. Dick opened up Caritas without have to tape any limbs onto the zombies. Wow, things are kinda slow then, especially since Dick is taking some personal phone calls during work. Marty and Angela spend one last night together getting drunk and singing. Aww, that's really cute."

Aly: "Good luck, you two. Be crazy."

Arashi:"Azriphale opens the Devil's Nest and remeets Stanley. Billy goes in for a cherry coke and is shocked that the place is run by Lucifer. Wait.. I thought everyone knew that?"

Aly: "Obviously not. Maybe he's slow?"

Arashi: "Is that everything?"

Aly: "Looks like. So all I have to say is that the Grand Canyon is a stupid big hole in the ground."

Deadpool: "A fun big hole in the ground!"

Aly: "Fun in the sense that it's very, very big. Which isn't actually all that fun."

Arashi: "I've liked the scenery so far."

Deadpool: "Yeah, especially at the bar."

Aly: "Someone send help or at least glitter so I don't have to deal with any more raging UST?"

Deadpool: "There is no UST!"

Arashi: "Nope, no UST. But I do have a date."

Aly: "There's UST. Gods help me. Night, Fandom! Don't blow anything else up before we get back!"

Fandom Radio, Tuesday, May 8

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