Fandom Radio, Monday, April 12

[likethegun]

Sam: Good evening, Fandom, to both regular residents and visitors who are still here.

Skye: This is completely awesome! Can I have some of what the squirrels are drinking?

Dean: It's rum, and no, you can't. It'll stunt your growth.

Mary: I think that's coffee that's supposed to do that.

Maria: No, coffee makes everything go wheeee!

Sam: I'm blaming the fact that you know that on Peter, I think.

Dean: You're lucky you've got Sammy's crazy sasquatch genes if you're drinking coffee already.

Maria: It's only a little! I'm still gonna be super tall, I promise.

Cas: If I say I don't want to be super tall, can I try some coffee? Or rum?

Dean: No.

Sam: Tonight would definitely not be the night to experiment with how much of an angel you really are. Especially when we have lots of fun notes to read, right?

Cas: I can't read yet.

Sam: Then you can just follow along and help make fun of people as we talk about them. That's kind of the Winchester way.

Mary: Works for me.


School News

Sam: The Outdoor Fitness and Strategy class got altered a bit to accommodate our visitors - instead of whatever Mr. Bond had planned, everyone got to bounce around in an inflatable castle.

Maria: That was sooooo much fun! We have to get one of those at home.

Sam: I think you're going to have to talk to your daddy about that one. Kyle didn't have any kids with him in class, but he did get to play with Rose's son while she and Elena traded kid stories.

Skye: Hey, Dad? Can I get an inflatable castle?

Dean: Ask me again when you get home.

Sam: I'm starting to feel like a broken record from saying that same thing all weekend. Build Your Own Philosophy was taught by Tyler and his son Miles today. They talked about the Omnipotence Paradox while Raven and Joan passed notes and Priestly watched his daughter draw tattoos on herself. Then, everyone got to play with invisible ink, students and kids alike.

The World Mythology students were treated to a lecture by Lady Ghanima's daughter Essie about the history of Rome and Romulus and Remus. Jaina got to meet her niece Jaenelle while Ben and Karla kind of looked at each other. The discussion of the day was, appropriately enough, what makes a family, as well as what makes a parent. After class, Essie, Victoria, and Psyche met each other and talked, while Lady Ghanima got a visit from Leto and his three daughters.

The Horror 101 class was dialed down a bit for the kids today: the students and their kids got to write or draw something scary, using fairy tales as inspiration. Emma's daughters were fighting, and insisted they were too old for fairy tales. Clearly, they haven't been reading the original versions of these stories. Tony got to meet Jack Priest's son Felix, as did Mitchell, and after class, Mitchell also got to meet Kendra, Chloe's daughter, and Vivienne who's Kate and Leto's daughter and who happily informed Mitchell that he's Uncle Mitchell to her.

The Japanese Etiquette and Tradition class broke with, uh, tradition, and skipped having any kind of lesson so the students and their kids could go outside and play baseball. While they played Kate and Elena talked about how grateful they were that they didn't end up with four or five children. I don't know, I think there's something kind of nice about having a whole bunch of kids. You know, even if they all come from different parents.

Dean: Kids are awesome. Especially Winchester kids.

Sam: We do have some surprisingly awesome DNA, don't we? Gabrielle had a child-free day in the library, and Ms. Pitt had a child-free day in the study hall. Luckily, there were plenty of kids at Flight Club, where everyone got to fly a simulated version of The Falcon. Tahiri was taking lots of pictures of her daughter, Cassa, while Ben tried to keep Jaenelle and Mara from fighting. Anakin didn't have any of his kids with him, but he was there to babysit if needed, because he secretly loves that. Or maybe not-so-secretly, because I don't think that's really that surprising.

Skye: That's my grandpa!

Sam: Which means your dad gets glared at a lot, doesn't he?

Dean: Hey! I'm awesome! There's no reason to glare at me.

Sam: Oh, like Anakin needs a reason when his kids are involved. Finally, over at the teachers' offices, Dean Stinson was celebrating not having any children show up, because he's a terrible person, please don't give me detention, you know it's true, and Mr. Lupin was trying to get work done, but kept getting distracted by his son, Teddy.


Dorm News

Dean: Over in the dorms, Jaina woke up to find that Jordin and Jaryd had both crawled into bed during the night. Y'know kids, your Uncle Sammy used to do that when we were young too.

Sam: Because you always took the more comfortable bed.

Dean: Don't let him fool you. He's always been a snuggler. You want to take the next bit, Skye?

Skye: Storm made a phone call the second Savannah was out of the room, and Naomi let her son Gres- Gresgre... seriously that's a name? It looks more like the squirrel smashed its head into a little keyboard.

Cas: That's not very polite. Names are important. Even if they're a mouthful.

Skye: I'm pretty sure me mangling his name wouldn't be polite either. Anyway, Naomi's son called his father Icheb. ... Okay, I think I'm getting why the keyboard smash of a name now.

Mary: Kate was sprawled in her room with Dani and Vivienne. Aurore bounced in, looking for Bobby. Bod visited and Vivienne wanted to know who he is, and Dani said he was Kate's boyfriend, but Bod doesn't think he is. So secret boyfriend then.

Cas: Or she's just wrong.

Mary: Nah, it's much more interesting if he's a secret boyfriend.

Dean: Savannah, Gwynn and K-Mart set up a play area on the dorm lawn. Now, there's an idea whose time has come. The student council should automatically start organizing that when they organize prom.

Sam: I thought about maybe suggesting that we prepare somehow, but, you know, what if the kids hadn't come? I think people might have gotten upset if they'd gotten their hopes up and all.

Dean: Maybe just some contingency plans then. Storm and Charlotte did some arts and crafts, and there was a reading table, a kiddie pool, snacks, and a time-out area. There was also a practice ring, and Marin told Marion how she was a fierce warrior. Telyn thought Marion was not practicing every day, and Gabriel stalked Gwynn, while K-Mart checked up on Shawna.

Over where they'd set up musical instruments, Stephanie thought Jenna's flute-playing was pretty. Parents were around, and Annja was watching. Savannah offered Ellie a drink, and Hope was hoping Savannah had alcohol, which she didn't. And even if she did, no, none of you can have any.

Skye: Aw, you're no fun anymore.

Dean: I'm plenty fun. Read the next bit.

Skye: *sigh* Yes, Dad. In the salle, this morning, Arthur was teaching Rhys some drills. Dinah introduced Sin to 'Coach Pendragon', and Merlin wanted to know what Arthur will do when he has no one who listens to him.

Mary: Talk to himself, probably. Up on the sixth floor, this morning, Lily was making cookies and hoping a grown up would come along to turn the oven on. That's not very self-sufficient.

Dean: Some kids aren't as well trained in using fire as Winchesters are.

Mary: And some kids are just stupid like Rhys who said he doesn't cook because he's a boy. But you're a boy, Dad and you cook.

Dean: Thank you for noticing.

Mary: I'm observant like that. Desmond was psyched about the cookies and offered his assistance to Lilly. Morgana was mad that she couldn't hang out while her mom smoked on the roof. Rosemary told Morgana that her mom was paranoid, then wanted to know if there would be chocolate chip cookies. When Desmond asked her if she's okd enough to turn on the oven, she told him she totally was and asked for the temperature.

Robin-the-frog stopped in and -- seriously? A frog?

Dean: You've got a half brother who's part angel.

Mary: ... Point. Aurore said her dad usually buys the cookie in a tube stuff, and Lily explained that isn't for baking but for eating while watching tv.

Skye: Can't argue with that.

Mary: That's what the square cookie dough is for too!

Sam: Okay, I'm definitely blaming that on Peter. Over at the stables, Kennedy and Birgitte took Mat's horse out, so Birgitte could offer pony rides to the other kids. They met Kore, who's another of Mat's daughters, and who flipped out at the idea of Mat having kids with another woman and told Kennedy he'd be castrated when she got home and told on him. I'd say oops, but it doesn't seem like Kennedy was too bothered by that idea. Remind me not to get on her bad side. Dru also stopped by, to tease Kennedy about how she got to be child-free all weekend. I still don't understand how that's a good thing, and I'm not sure I ever will.

And we might have been bombarded with kids, but that didn't stop Tony from setting up his usual viewing party for the newest episode of Darkest Night up in the second floor common room. Jack Burton came by to find out what he'd missed, and Tony got him all caught up.


Town News

Sam: Mr. Gibbs worked on his boat with his daughter, Kelly, and showed her that he named the boat after her. He invited her to stay in Fandom, but in the end, they decided she'd have to go home with everyone else.

Maria: Awww, look, the squirrels have little tissues!

Sam: That's...actually kind of adorable. And a little weird. But more adorable. Rose and Dimitri played with Sascha on the beach, where he tried to dig to Russia.

Maria: That's silly. Everybody knows you dig to China!

Sam: ...yeah, you definitely got that from your other father. And Vimes read a story to his son in the sheriff's office. I agree with the "awwww" on that note.

Ender didn't have any children with him today at Stark Industries, but Ben brought Jaenelle with him when he came by for his usual coffee visit, and entertained Ender with how Karla is Jaenelle's mother.

Maria: Is a coffee visit like when Daddy went to see you every week at the library?

Sam: Uh, kind of. Maybe. I'm not sure with the two of them. Lacey had her son Buttons - really? - with her today at Luke's Diner, helping her out with things. Angua came in for lunch with her son Rex, and she and Lacey let the boys meet each other while Lacey helped Angua decide what to order.

Skye: They should get pie.

Dean: That's my boy.

Sam: Oh yes, he's definitely yours.

Maria: Daaaaad, I want to read some papers!

Sam: All right, here, this looks like an easy stack.

Maria: Eeeee! Rex was really good and helped his mom with all her work at the Trooper Station, Aunt Claire was working at Android's Dungeon with Melody, Jared was building a fort out of flowers with his mom at Covent Garden Flowers and Ashley and Helen were working out at the Atlas Gym.

Liz was all alone at The Arms Hotel. Awww, maybe somebody will come visit her next time! Worf was alone at Wellspring Arms too, but he was kind of happy about that. He sounds like a meanie. Gunn had free candy at Cabot and Associates. Ooh! Dad!

Sam: Oh no, you've had more than enough candy this weekend, trust me.

Maria: But it's free!

Sam: Not at this hour it's not. Why don't you give those notes back to me now? Let's see, Irulan had hats for children at The Imperial Brim, Oz was selling stuff for Cosmonautics Day at Holiday Grove, and Zack had his daughter with him as he watched over things at Cafe Fina.

Alex took the time to kid-proof The Magic Box, which turned out to be a smart idea because she got a visit from Harper's son Justin, who wanted to see his Aunt Alex.

Dani had pony rides going at The Gig, which gave Kris the perfect opportunity to have her kids meet Dani and be occupied with something fun at the same time. Dani also met Montana, Tully's daughter, and told her a little about the place.

Castiel was at the church, sort of looking after his son Cas. Shouldn't angels have good fatherly instincts? Anyway, Dean went by to talk to Castiel and Cas, and found out that Hunter might have knocked up Castiel's cat Angelbane. Dude, seriously?

Dean: Hey, I wasn't here to let him out so it's not on me.

Sam: Well, I didn't let him out either. And that doesn't change the fact that he's your cat.

Dean: Apparently even Winchester pets are fertile.

Sam: At least cats can't sue for child support. Raine also stopped by the church, curious about what was inside, and met Castiel.

Chuck took his kids out to the playground, probably still wearing a suit despite the destination. I'm pretty sure if there were jeans involved, there'd be a special note about that. He finally got to meet Jaina, his daughter with Leia, who was more than happy to tell him how much her Anakin hates him. I'm willing to bet the Anakin here isn't too fond right now either.

Angela brought her kids by to expend some energy on the swings, and was happy to see that Chuck is back to being a guy. And Leia came by to joke with Chuck about how she's cheating on him with Dean, and Chuck said it was okay because he's apparently cheating on her with Dean too. I don't even know what to say to that.

Dean: Three words. Jacob Bass Winchester.

Sam: Hey now, that's a totally different thing. Jerk. Claudia had some kids' books set out at the front of Book Haven, which was good for Jack Burton, who came by to try to find something to keep his daughter occupied, and Ms. David was at the Perk with her daughter Tama when Ms. Cabot came in to talk to her about the little girl visiting Mr. Gibbs.

Karla was giving out free condoms at Dite's Decadent Delights--

Maria: What are those? Are they still free?

Sam: Uh, they're something that's only for grown-ups. You'll find out all about them when you're older, don't worry. Victoria, Leto and Alice's daughter, wandered in to look at the toys, because she'd never seen anything like them before. Thank God. Jack Burton seems to have accidentally wandered into the store, and got reassurance from Karla that none of the kids running around are theirs. Because really, you never know.

Emma brought her kids by to see Karla, because she's apparently the kind of mother who likes traumatizing her kids early in life, and Emma Eleni, who's Karla and George's daughter, finally found Karla. And hopefully didn't spend too long looking at anything in the store while she was there.

Mr. Rogers brought his son James to the park so he'd stop blowing things up at his house. Ah, children. Tony Stark was surprised to see that James had shown up again, and he and Mr. Rogers tried to figure out why someone would mix their DNA to make a kid anyway. Miles and James had a mini-fight over who got to have Tony as a dad, until James derailed the conversation by explaining how he was made with mad science. That is actually a pretty distracting thought.

Miles also talked to his "Uncle Steve," telling him about how he's the son of Tony and Tyler, and told Tony about the experiment he did with Legos and a blender. The squirrels would also like it to be known that they saw that tender family moment, Mr. Stark, and they knew you could be adorable when the time came.

Bobby and Aurore came by so Bobby could enlist Mr. Rogers in helping him find out who Aurore's mother is, and Tyler and Tony watched all of the kids playing and talked about what their life was like in Miles' world.

Ino brought her son Angeal with her to the clinic, and kept him occupied with lessons on healing, and Adrian was happily ignoring all things having to do with children at Caritas.

And, unfortunately, it looks like the portal has shown back up in the park, and the goodbyes have started. Leto and Alice said goodbye to Victoria, and Leto also sent Chani and Vivienne off. Chloe worried about how she was sending Kendra back messy, and Tahiri was very reluctant to let Cassa go. I think reluctance is going to be a recurring theme here.

Ino and Zack made Inori and Angeal promise to behave themselves when they got home. Greskrentredgk clung to Naomi, and she reminded him that there's another version of her waiting for him at home. Here kiddo, you can take some.

Maria: Yay! Kennedy was kind of glad and kind of sad to see her kids go. Mat made Kore promise she wouldn't tattle on him to her mom, and he and Kennedy said goodbye to Birgitte, but not before she fliiiiirted with Sean, ooh!

Kris made Junior and Kendra promise to be good for the other her, Jaina made sure that Jordin and Jaryd left together and didn't try to leave each other behind, and Cassa made sure to say bye to Jaina too before she had to go. Okay, your turn again, Dad.

Sam: Thanks, sweetie. Harper took Justin to get ice cream one last time before he had to leave, and Rory had to convince Christopher that just because this place looks the same, it's not where he's from and he had to go.

Ben advised Mara to tell her mother the truth if she asked where Mara had been, and Mary just wanted to check and make sure Louis and Eddie had a good time before they left.

Fred made Vicky promise to kick her other dad in the shins for him before literally, at her request, throwing her into the portal. Ellie saw Charlotte off before Jennifer came by so they could say goodbye to Stephanie, and Gwynn, Savannah, K-Mart, Eve, and Tim sent all their children off together.

Angela Martin wasn't at all sad to send Maxima off, especially since she refused to tell Angela who her father is. Tully sent Montana off, and Robin sadly let BJ and Bobby go. Hope and Ashley were sad to see Helen and Gabriel leave, but were also a little relieved, considering how suddenly the kids had arrived. You'll be better prepared next year, trust me.

Hurley and Hoshi saw Carmela off, and talked about how awesome she'd turned out to be. Sean and Annja had to convince Stana to go home, while Bobby and Kennedy had a much easier time with Desmond. Sookie convinced Charlotte to go back by promising that the other Sookie would make her a pie if she asked for one, and Bobby told her to make it a chocolate one. Aurore had to go too, of course, but not before telling Bobby that she wasn't mad that he'd asked her about her mother all weekend instead of who her other dad was.

Elena very, very reluctantly let Veld go, while Raven was, uh, not so reluctant to send Anakin off. Dinah and Roy said goodbye to Sean and Lian - but not before she and Karla could attach notes to Sean and Jaenelle to try to get their Dinah and Karla to hang out - and Dinah tried not to think about how hard it would be to possibly do this again next year. It doesn't suck as much as you might think, I promise.

Dinah and Priestly saw Lena off, and decided that if they're not with anyone else by the time they're 25, they'll get together and try to make her happen. And sadly, Dinah had to say goodbye to Sin too.

Mr. Gibbs checked with Kelly one more time to see if she really wanted to leave, and then made her promise to take care of herself and her mother. Rose and Dimitri walked by the park on the way to dropping Dimitri off at Caritas, and realized it was time to send Sascha home. Selina snuck through the portal, possibly without saying goodbye to Bruce and Jean, and Karla said a very sad goodbye to Jaenelle and Emma Eleni.

Uh, those are all the notes. I think that's our cue to go.

Skye: Do we have to?

Maria: Yeah, can't we stay here?

Cas: That will make everybody at home sad though. We have to go back.

Dean: Yeah, what the little angel said. My kid's got brains.

Sam: Believe me, I wish you could stay, but Cas is right, everyone's waiting for you at home.

Dean: So come on. Say your goodbyes to Fandom and let's get going.

Maria: Byeeeee everybody! I'll miss you!

Mary: Until next time Fandom.

Sam: Stay safe everyone. Tomorrow's going to suck, but at least we'll all be in it together.