Fandom Radio, Monday, September 1

[likethegun]

Sam: Good evening Fandom. I hope everyone's having a safe and fluffball-free evening.

Dean: If not, just get a cat. They're great at cleaning up those things.

Sam: Dogs, on the other hand, will find more enjoyment in making them multiply than anything else. So, this might be the only time you hear me recommend a cat instead.

Dean: Cats rule.

Sam: In this one, specific instance.

Dean: Not that Scout isn't a very cool dog, mind you. But still.

Sam: You know, we might want to give the new people the impression that we do something besides argue when we talk to each other.

Dean: We're not arguing. We're having a very civil discussion. Which you're losing.

Sam: I'm not losing, because you're insisting that you're right when you're not.

Dean: Sammy, just accept your defeat gracefully and start reading those notes the nice squirrels are handing you.

Sam: I'm just going to stick to the second part of that, thanks.


School: Finally back in session

Sam: A new semester means new library schedules, and that means Cal has taken over Mondays with the books. I say good luck, enjoy starting the week, and make sure to stock up on coffee. Our new librarian talked to Cal about how neither of them are familiar with computers, which should make things interesting. Then Buffy came in to look at the occult section, which is just about all I need to hear to know that she's a real Buffy, as weird as that seems.

Dean: Given recent events you might want to stay away from her if she is.

Sam: I'm not going to get into a fight with her, if that's what you're thinking. I'm pretty sure she won't try to beat me up.

Dean: Dude, if I were her, I'd totally beat you up.

Sam: Yeah, well, the other Buffy can do it for her if she feels the need. The week of boring time with no classes officially ended with the start of Care of Magical Creatures. Chris chatted with Jan the unicorn during the lecture, and I'll let you all make your own jokes about a unicorn being in a class on magical creatures. The first week of classes meant there were introductions, and then everyone had to pick an egg to take care of over the course of the semester. After class, Jan talked to Minsc about whether or not he could really take care of an egg, and they worked out a deal for Jan to work with the other students on that.

Achievements in Engineering had their first meeting outside on the school lawn. After talking about air conditioning and refrigeration, they did the introduction thing and had an outdoor picnic. That's one effective way to win over students. After class, Mr. Cannon asked Naomi if she'd be his TA, and she graciously accepted.

Lady Ghanima held the first session of Diplomacy, Relationships and Tactics today. This week's lesson was about knowing your enemy, which sounds like a particularly fancy way of saying they did introductions. After class, Lady Ghanima told Reno to be her TA in exchange for the training she's giving him, and he wisely didn't put up a fight.

Dean: Which might be an example of knowing your enemy.

Sam: He's TAed for her before, if I remember correctly, but I don't know if I'd call a teacher an enemy. At least, not Lady Ghanima. The first Physics class met, taught by Sam Carter - Girl Sam! Hi! There were introductions to get an idea of how science-minded everyone is, and then the class discussed whether or not guesswork has a place in science.

Finally, the day was rounded out with Basics of Alchemy with Dr. Garrett. Andrew and Tony were happy to see each other in the same class before everyone did their introductions, and Savannah and I stayed after class to talk to Dr. Garrett about her need for teacher's assistants.

Dean: Teacher's pet.

Sam: You say that like it's a bad thing. Tyler used his office hours for meditation, while Dr. Suresh spent his office hours dealing with the little fluffballs. I bet he probably could have used some meditation after that.


Dorms: Now with more brain-breaking students than ever

Sam: Hinata watched her kitten chase the fluffballs around, as I'm sure most kittens did today. Lion-o and Toby tried to figure out if they should fight the fluffballs, or just wait for them to go away.

Jaina reviewed her notes from class like an awesome student, until John came in with a pink fluffball on his tail and Inara came back to the room and asked how Jaina's class had gone. One of those things sounds more distracting than the other. She also talked to Evey about how many people she knows among the newest batch of students.

Dean: Yeah, I've got her cousin from another timeline as my little brother.

Sam: Have you told him scarring stories yet?

Dean: Oh totally. Nuns singing in the park, his grandfather and you and your epic liplock...

Sam: What?! Dean! That was years ago. You couldn't possibly have needed to tell him about that.

Dean: Yeah, I think I did.

Sam: No, you really didn't, jerk. Penelope wrote a letter home, and talked to Joan about all the cute boys they met over the weekend. Claire asked Penelope if she knew anything about the rabid fluffballs, but Penelope hadn't seen any, which was, of course, when they showed up outside her room until she and Claire attacked them with hairspray. Hairspray and a lighter would have been even better...and that was probably unnecessary information. Sorry.

Dean: Just the Winchester in you coming out.

Sam: Yeah, I think I'll put it back in now. Blair put up signs around the dorms announcing a party going on Friday night, and Jan got attacked by the vicious circles while grazing outside. I'll mention the hairspray and lighter idea for all the unicorn lovers out there.

Jess was reading in his room, until Peter stopped by to talk to him about me. Well, that's always a fun kind of note to read. Buffy came back to the room after that, and commisserated with Jess about how weird this place is. Newsflash: it's not so bad if you introduce yourself before attacking someone. You know, for future reference.

Dean: I'd threaten to go throw him in a lake but you already took care of that.

Sam: You could do it again, I don't mind. Kevin finally claimed his half of his room. Lee stopped in, and he and Kevin talked about sleeping on the beach and Toby. I mean, they talked about Toby too, not about sleeping on him. *coughs* Then Toby came by, and he and Kevin talked about the classes they've had so far.

Harvey finally arrived in Fandom, saving himself from having to deal with the picnic crowd. Adam, as his assigned big sibling, stopped by to introduce himself and check up on him, and Brooke was surprised to see that she has a new roommate, but rolled with it and started filling him in on what kinds of things he might want to expect here. And Rikku went to Reno's room to rant at him about me. Rikku, seriously, if you want to rant at me instead of your boyfriend, you should know where to find me.

Dean: Just no sharp objects okay? Yeah he's an idiot, but he's still my brother. I kinda want to keep him around.

Sam: But blunt objects are okay?

Dean: Well you were a pretty big idiot...

Sam: You're such a caring brother, really. And speaking of caring, all the rest of this is about how Dean made breakfast up on the fourth floor this morning. He and Inara had an innuendo-laden conversation, because Dean is a dirty hornball. Ladies who are new to town, beware.

Dean: We talked about tag too.

Sam: I think the innuendo part is more important. Dean shared some of his food with me while we talked about how often Jess might need to get pushed into the lake, among other things. But there was nothing mushy or bonding, no matter what these notes might say. Stupid squirrels.

Dean: You forgot the other thing you mentioned.

Sam: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Dean: Y'know, that thing. About Alec?

Sam: Oh, yeah, okay, we talked about Alec too.

Dean: Sammy...

Sam: And I said I don't think he's that bad anymore. Happy now?

Dean: Actually what you said was that you kind of like him.

Sam: Because I don't think he's that bad anymore.

Dean: The key word there was 'like'. I just want a recording of it so you can't take it back later.

Sam: Fine. I kind of like Alec. Now I'm never saying that again. Dean explained to Peyton that people cooking for large groups is a common occurrence, and she should feel free to take food whenever it's offered. Gwen was grateful for the food, and talked to Dean about how handy he is around the house. Awww, she's right, you would make a good housewife.

Dean: Bite me. We talked about how to get ectoplasm and space slime out of your clothes. And evil mother in laws that crash major events.

Sam: Because you know all about having mother in laws?

Dean: Well I know about fighting evil. Same diff.

Sam: I actually don't think I can argue with that. Marco came in with a more desperate need for coffee than food, while Lois was all about getting all the food she could. Ben came in with an angry fluffball on his tail, and didn't know what to do until Dean reminded him that hi, he's a Skywalker, so he got rid of it, and was rewarded with breakfast.

Angela and Ben tried to figure out what the ball things were, but only succeeded in figuring out how to make them multiply. Oops. And then Angela informed Dean that he's a breakfast god. Gee, thanks Angela. It's going to take weeks to get him off that ego rush.

Dean: I can't help it if I'm just that awesome. Down in the second floor common room this afternoon, Lola tried to bait the vicious fuzzballs with her shoelaces. Okay, novel weapon.

Hannibal explained to Lola that the fuzzballs weren't gremlins -- a lot of that going on today -- and they talked and flirted. Dude, aren't you dating Alice? You really don't want to be flirting with other girls then. Not if you don't want me to come up with a few novel weapons of my own.

Sam: Okay mister "I'll flirt with anything that'll flirt back and let me tell you about my threesome," you are the last person who can call a guy out on flirting with someone he's not dating.

Dean: I'm not dating Alice though.

Sam: You dated Meg. It's the same thing.

Dean: Actually, no it's not. But I'm not going to get into it on the radio. I'll explain it to you later. With pictures even. Romeo and Lola discussed how annoying the balls were before introducing themselves.

Up on the roof this evening Amber was smoking and Viki popped up and they discussed lots of things about thinking and the anklebiters not thinking and all.

While down in the third floor common room, Blysse and her wolf stared at the television. Which would probably have been much more entertaining if they'd turned it on. Hey, has her wolf met Fraser's wolf yet?

Tahiri wondered what Blysse found so fascinating and they both try to figure out why the television was so important. And I repeat, it works better if you turn it on.

Blysse told Naomi she was new to Fandom and Tahiri asked her where she was from.

Dor explained to a confused Blysse that talking to the couch was sorta his thing, and explains to Tahiri that it's magic. Okay, buddy, whatever floats your boat. Magic or not, I'd rather talk to pretty girls myself.

Francine asked if Dor was a ventriloquist and told Blysse that the screen is a television not a holovision. Which y'know, might be more useful information if it included directions how to turn it on.

Sam: Do you want to go and see if they're still in there and help them?

Dean: Might duck my head in on the way back and see if they're still there. I mean... it's TV. People should know about it's TV goodness.


Town: Still twice as big as it was in May

Dean: Down in town, Gabriel had a staring contest with Cat, Ender was on his laptop at Stark Industries, Mary was reading a magazine at the Arms Hotel, and Seregil browsed the romance section at the Book Haven. Dude, I'm sure you can find something better to read if you try hard enough.

Chad was at Groovy Tunes with Prince Oscar who was playing with the fuzzy toothy circles, which is what cats do with small furry things even if they do have lots of teeth. Maybe Oscar and Hunter can go hunting together next small weirdness. Anyway, they were hiring and Peyton came in and got a job.

Lacey was at Luke's, angsting about being swarmed by fuzzy circles. She and Murdock lamented how they messed up his pants and her socks.

Fraser came home and woke up Robin after opening MHA and he wasn't very happy about the radio broadcast. Hey dude, we just report what the squirrels tell us to.

Sam: Unless the squirrels are wrong, in which case, we ignore them.

Dean: We need to talk about how to talk yourself out of situations and how not to.
Alex made a thorough sweep of the Magic Box and Andrew stopped in to check on her first day back. Also Kael'thas introduced himself to Alex as the new owner.

At T&C, Sokka was teaching Liz, the security dog to work the register. Hey Sammy, that's something new you can try and teach Scout.

Sam: Yeah, I think Scout needs to be able to reach the register first.

Dean: Details, details. Turtle stopped in and said she's made a sales projection chart and told Sokka if he beat them she'd pay him time and a half. He doesn't think that's fair. Guess it depends on if she's still going to pay him normally regardless.

At Caritas, Arashi was trying to get the leader of the zombie band and Tino to stop arguing. Deadpool asked for sex on the beach and Arashi gave him a beer instead, followed by much sex on the beach jokes. Guys, y'know you could just go and actually have sex on the beach...

Sam: Aaah, let's not let teachers and sex become a topic here. Please?

Dean: Wimp. And at the clinic, Millie was quietly singing in the morning and there was a nurse on duty in the evening.

Sam: No new folks running in with a fuzzball attached to them? That's good to hear.

Dean: Very good.

Sam: Especially to balance out dirty commentary about sex.

Dean: That so doesn't need balancing out.

Sam: It does when it comes from you. Do you want to go check on the people watching TV now?

Dean: Sure. And to make sure Alec hears this broadcast and you admit you like him.

Sam: If he, in any way, takes that as being even remotely dirty, I'm taking it back.

Dean: Ew! Dude! That's just! Ew!

Sam: *laughs* That's for telling Ben about me and Anakin. Jerk.

Dean: And you say I have the dirty mind. Bitch.