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fandom_radio2006-04-04 12:40 am
imanaturalblond.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2006-04-04 12:40 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, Monday, April 3, 2006
Rita: Good evening, Fandom. Professor Ms. Rita Skeeter broadcasting to you via magic outside my home here. This is some lovely spring weather we're having, isn't it? So much more pleasant than rainy old England, really. You know, students have asked me if I miss it, and truly I don -
Bella: Hello, Rita.
Rita: *shrieks, as is startled omg* UM. Hello...Bellatrix. It's been so long. How are you? What are you doing in town?
Bella: What are you doing?
Rita: ...broadcasting. I work on the radio staff here, as part of my -
Bella: I want to.
Rita: I'm sorry?
Bella: I want to work on this radio thing.
Rita: ...all right. But only 'cause I don't wanna die *shuffling of papers*
Classes, which were blah blah I didn't teach and by the way, Bellatrix, your hair looks magnificent - is that Sleekeazy's?
Bella: In Shop class today, students use a survival kit in the setting of their choice. They have classes devoted to shopping here? That sounds almost pleasant. Muggles must have some minor redeeming asp -
Rita: AHEM. How is Rodolphus, Bellatrix? Are you two still together? Any children? It's been so long.
Bella: Azkaban looks down on procreating while one is incarcerated, you know.
Rita: ...right. Anyway! Speech students make web pages -
Bella: Oh, I do so love working with spiders. Remember when we were in fourth year, and I dropped one down your collar? Good times.
Rita: How could I forget? Such a happy time. *uncomfortable laughter*
Bella: In Creature Languages, their guest lecturer is a shark...I don't understand. Was he a transfigured wizard?
Rita: ...sure, we'll go with that. US History has an exam on some silly war. Oh, and Josh, if you can hear this - or better yet, if you can see me from your window? We're out of jam, and also Bellatrix is not hurting me by jabbing her wand into my side like that. That's just a wizarding form of affection. Really.
Bella: I've no idea what you're talking about, ickle Rita. Paleontology and Sociology classes all seem to be borne of laziness today. I would make a much better teacher than some of these people, don't you agree?
Rita: Erm. Yes. But what would you teach?
Bella: What is it you teach again?
Rita: ...Journalism.
Bella: I'd teach classes like 'How to AK nosy reporters before their quills incriminate you,' I think.
Rita: I would certainly take that class, and not just because you're jabbing your wand into my side again. Erm. Celtic Studies, Jung, Psychology, Anthropology and Magical Theory -
Bella: They have magic here? I thought this was a school of filthy mu -
Rita: And Dean Zordon requests we talk to Dr. Oliver about talking fossils.
Bella: In the cafeteria, some plebe named Pippi dines alone. Some professor holds office hours, and a club for people with strange hometowns meets. You call this news?
Rita: I don't, no. In the library, Parker sleeps, she and Zero make odd noises at one another, Rory is bossy as per usual and tells her to go to sleep, Zero tells her about the shark, and then Ms. Gilmore sorts books. And the teachers' lounge is empty, as is the school clinic.
Bella: What an exciting life you lead.
Rita: It beats prison, doesn't it?
Bella: Why, you worthless little -
Ted: Hey, Blonde British Babe and Not Blonde British Babe!
Rita: Oh thank Merlin
Bella: What?
Ted: Oh, are you doing radio? WYLD STALLYNS RULE!! I'll bug off so you can get that done, dudettes.
Rita: No, don't go - blast. Um. Where were we?
Bella: Who was that?
Rita: No one you need to worry about.
In the dorms, and Bellatrix I love those robes, as they are so very flattering on you
Bella: Oh, where are these dormitories? You know how I love children.
Rita: Haven't the foggiest. In the morning, Lyta and Ivanova are in the gym -
Bella: Don't lie, Rita, or I'll tell everyone about your pathetic crush on the gamekeep -
Rita: I WAS ELEVEN.
Bella: And?
Rita: ...anyway, Lana sends out a message, and Isabel watches something about an apprentice.
Bella: Apprentice in what, I wonder.
Rita: Knowing this school, it's an apprenticeship in impersonating family members of faculty, or some such. Speaking of the shining examples of students here, Jaye appears to have a psychotic breakdown this morning over some animals.
Bella: As you do. This John Connor fellow seems to wake early. Rita, I thought you were a reporter. An informant. Why are we telling people this drivel?
Rita: Because it's in the notes, Bellatrix. Nadia has a dream, Zero discovers the shark in Creature Languages, Anders watches some ridiculous sport -
Bella: *sniff* Some disgusting muggle game, I'm sure.
Rita: Erm, right. Pippi embroiders, and Nadia attempts to take out Walter with a mallet.
Bella: Such violent children you teach, Rita.
Rita: They're not my students.
Bella: Still. You ought to teach them some manners. Violence is not the answers, boys and girls.
Rita: *snort* Right. Ahem. Veronica talks to her boyfriend the rabbit -
Bella: Excuse me?
Rita: I don't understand it either, Bellatrix. Angela has returninated -
Bella: ...did you just say "returninated"?
Rita: ...no, of course not. That's not a word.
Bella: You did. You know, simply because you're around these people doesn't mean you need to pick up their pathetic vernacular.
Rita: I haven't! Now, anyway, Spawn of Hell and Aeryn chat.
Bella: Your notes call him "John."
Rita: I like my name for him better.
Bella: I approve.
Rita: That's really sort of frightening.
In the town where nothing happens and oh bloody hell, Bellatrix, ma'am, I didn't mean that so please stop poking the wand into my side, and also you look no older than twenty-two
Bella: I don't like you calling me Bellatrix. It's too familar. Call me Mrs. Lestrange.
Rita: Are you serious? OW! Okay, then, Mrs. Lestrange. Agatha and Orlin stare at a statue, and I suspect that they're somewhat mentally deranged.
Bella: I can take care of them, you know. So could you, actually.
Rita: ...you know, let's not?
Bella: It doesn't matter, my orders are to not harm any mudbloo -
Rita: UNLIKE SOME MAN, who tried to kill the mayor in her office.
Bella: Oh, ew. That fellow. I do hope he's left. John Connor opens Sparky Repairs, Artie has a dustbin on his head, and horrid man is gone, huzzah!
Rita: That's good, I suppose. All and Sundries is open, as is Wonka's, and Crowley watches television. At Caritas, Ivanova has a drink, and at Cafe Fina, Orlin and Agatha have dinner. And then later, Orlin and Camulus...I'm not reading that.
Bella: Baby.
Rita: Also, Lilly is the only patient at the clinic for both shifts, and finally, there is an explosion over the ocean.
Bella: Oh, how lovely! Someone got hold of some Fillibuster Fireworks? I haven't played with those since I was a little girl!
Rita: I know. You put them in my bed when we were thirteen.
Bella: Ah, good times. But if that's the end of the broadcast, I really must be going.
Rita: Oh? So soon? Damn that luck!
Bella: Yes, my arm hurts.
Rita: Your what?
Bella: My arm hurts. It's positively delicious. So, I'll be going now. Goodbye, little Rita.
Rita: Erm. Bye. Safe travels.
Bella: *pop*
Rita: *long, long, LOOOOOOONG pause* Um. That woman is a liar. That is all. Goodnight, Fandom.
[![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wyld_stallyn modded with permission, omg.]
Bella: Hello, Rita.
Rita: *shrieks, as is startled omg* UM. Hello...Bellatrix. It's been so long. How are you? What are you doing in town?
Bella: What are you doing?
Rita: ...broadcasting. I work on the radio staff here, as part of my -
Bella: I want to.
Rita: I'm sorry?
Bella: I want to work on this radio thing.
Rita: ...all right. But only 'cause I don't wanna die *shuffling of papers*
Classes, which were blah blah I didn't teach and by the way, Bellatrix, your hair looks magnificent - is that Sleekeazy's?
Bella: In Shop class today, students use a survival kit in the setting of their choice. They have classes devoted to shopping here? That sounds almost pleasant. Muggles must have some minor redeeming asp -
Rita: AHEM. How is Rodolphus, Bellatrix? Are you two still together? Any children? It's been so long.
Bella: Azkaban looks down on procreating while one is incarcerated, you know.
Rita: ...right. Anyway! Speech students make web pages -
Bella: Oh, I do so love working with spiders. Remember when we were in fourth year, and I dropped one down your collar? Good times.
Rita: How could I forget? Such a happy time. *uncomfortable laughter*
Bella: In Creature Languages, their guest lecturer is a shark...I don't understand. Was he a transfigured wizard?
Rita: ...sure, we'll go with that. US History has an exam on some silly war. Oh, and Josh, if you can hear this - or better yet, if you can see me from your window? We're out of jam, and also Bellatrix is not hurting me by jabbing her wand into my side like that. That's just a wizarding form of affection. Really.
Bella: I've no idea what you're talking about, ickle Rita. Paleontology and Sociology classes all seem to be borne of laziness today. I would make a much better teacher than some of these people, don't you agree?
Rita: Erm. Yes. But what would you teach?
Bella: What is it you teach again?
Rita: ...Journalism.
Bella: I'd teach classes like 'How to AK nosy reporters before their quills incriminate you,' I think.
Rita: I would certainly take that class, and not just because you're jabbing your wand into my side again. Erm. Celtic Studies, Jung, Psychology, Anthropology and Magical Theory -
Bella: They have magic here? I thought this was a school of filthy mu -
Rita: And Dean Zordon requests we talk to Dr. Oliver about talking fossils.
Bella: In the cafeteria, some plebe named Pippi dines alone. Some professor holds office hours, and a club for people with strange hometowns meets. You call this news?
Rita: I don't, no. In the library, Parker sleeps, she and Zero make odd noises at one another, Rory is bossy as per usual and tells her to go to sleep, Zero tells her about the shark, and then Ms. Gilmore sorts books. And the teachers' lounge is empty, as is the school clinic.
Bella: What an exciting life you lead.
Rita: It beats prison, doesn't it?
Bella: Why, you worthless little -
Ted: Hey, Blonde British Babe and Not Blonde British Babe!
Rita: Oh thank Merlin
Bella: What?
Ted: Oh, are you doing radio? WYLD STALLYNS RULE!! I'll bug off so you can get that done, dudettes.
Rita: No, don't go - blast. Um. Where were we?
Bella: Who was that?
Rita: No one you need to worry about.
In the dorms, and Bellatrix I love those robes, as they are so very flattering on you
Bella: Oh, where are these dormitories? You know how I love children.
Rita: Haven't the foggiest. In the morning, Lyta and Ivanova are in the gym -
Bella: Don't lie, Rita, or I'll tell everyone about your pathetic crush on the gamekeep -
Rita: I WAS ELEVEN.
Bella: And?
Rita: ...anyway, Lana sends out a message, and Isabel watches something about an apprentice.
Bella: Apprentice in what, I wonder.
Rita: Knowing this school, it's an apprenticeship in impersonating family members of faculty, or some such. Speaking of the shining examples of students here, Jaye appears to have a psychotic breakdown this morning over some animals.
Bella: As you do. This John Connor fellow seems to wake early. Rita, I thought you were a reporter. An informant. Why are we telling people this drivel?
Rita: Because it's in the notes, Bellatrix. Nadia has a dream, Zero discovers the shark in Creature Languages, Anders watches some ridiculous sport -
Bella: *sniff* Some disgusting muggle game, I'm sure.
Rita: Erm, right. Pippi embroiders, and Nadia attempts to take out Walter with a mallet.
Bella: Such violent children you teach, Rita.
Rita: They're not my students.
Bella: Still. You ought to teach them some manners. Violence is not the answers, boys and girls.
Rita: *snort* Right. Ahem. Veronica talks to her boyfriend the rabbit -
Bella: Excuse me?
Rita: I don't understand it either, Bellatrix. Angela has returninated -
Bella: ...did you just say "returninated"?
Rita: ...no, of course not. That's not a word.
Bella: You did. You know, simply because you're around these people doesn't mean you need to pick up their pathetic vernacular.
Rita: I haven't! Now, anyway, Spawn of Hell and Aeryn chat.
Bella: Your notes call him "John."
Rita: I like my name for him better.
Bella: I approve.
Rita: That's really sort of frightening.
In the town where nothing happens and oh bloody hell, Bellatrix, ma'am, I didn't mean that so please stop poking the wand into my side, and also you look no older than twenty-two
Bella: I don't like you calling me Bellatrix. It's too familar. Call me Mrs. Lestrange.
Rita: Are you serious? OW! Okay, then, Mrs. Lestrange. Agatha and Orlin stare at a statue, and I suspect that they're somewhat mentally deranged.
Bella: I can take care of them, you know. So could you, actually.
Rita: ...you know, let's not?
Bella: It doesn't matter, my orders are to not harm any mudbloo -
Rita: UNLIKE SOME MAN, who tried to kill the mayor in her office.
Bella: Oh, ew. That fellow. I do hope he's left. John Connor opens Sparky Repairs, Artie has a dustbin on his head, and horrid man is gone, huzzah!
Rita: That's good, I suppose. All and Sundries is open, as is Wonka's, and Crowley watches television. At Caritas, Ivanova has a drink, and at Cafe Fina, Orlin and Agatha have dinner. And then later, Orlin and Camulus...I'm not reading that.
Bella: Baby.
Rita: Also, Lilly is the only patient at the clinic for both shifts, and finally, there is an explosion over the ocean.
Bella: Oh, how lovely! Someone got hold of some Fillibuster Fireworks? I haven't played with those since I was a little girl!
Rita: I know. You put them in my bed when we were thirteen.
Bella: Ah, good times. But if that's the end of the broadcast, I really must be going.
Rita: Oh? So soon? Damn that luck!
Bella: Yes, my arm hurts.
Rita: Your what?
Bella: My arm hurts. It's positively delicious. So, I'll be going now. Goodbye, little Rita.
Rita: Erm. Bye. Safe travels.
Bella: *pop*
Rita: *long, long, LOOOOOOONG pause* Um. That woman is a liar. That is all. Goodnight, Fandom.
[
wyld_stallyn modded with permission, omg.]
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