Fandom Radio, Monday, May 19

[likethegun]

Sam: Good evening, Fandom. Or, I guess we should say "Bonjour" now.

Dean: Bon soir, isn't it?

Sam: You know, it weirds me out when you know a language better than I do.

Dean: I'll be nice and not talk in Karsite then.

Sam: I think everyone would appreciate that, not just me.

Dean: You're just annoyed there's something I know that you don't.

Sam: That's not true at all. I mean, there's still lots of things I know that you don't.

Dean: That's not exactly the most convincing of denials, dude.

Sam: It's totally convincing, because it's true. Shut up.

Dean: *chuckles* Guess that means you're going to start with the reports, then huh?

Sam: Only if I can start with the classes. We never have classes to talk about.

Dean: That's because we've never done radio on a weekday before. You're not going to be all weird about it now that we are, are you?

Sam: If by "weird" you mean "excited," then yes, I am.


School, on which we finally get to report

Sam: Using our new location to its best advantage, Epicurist, Gourmet, Foodie met in a French restaurant. There was a lot of cheese during the lecture, and then everyone tried different kinds of French food. Ella and Cimorene really enjoyed the food, and got to talking about how bad they are at being ladies. Around here, that's really not an issue to worry about.

Arts and Crafts made dreamcatchers, which really do work if you make them the right way. How To Get Into College talked about the application process and extracurricular activities. Professor Eriksen made really interesting pancakes, and then everyone had to pick an essay topic, and come up with points they'd hit if they actually wrote the essay. I wouldn't have minded actually writing the essay for some practice, but that might have just been me.

Dean: I'm sure that's just you.

Sam: I'm not the only one in the class who needs the practice.

Dean: Geek.

Sam: That would probably be more insulting if I wasn't willing to admit it's true. After class, Chris asked Professor Eriksen if he thinks the weird classes people take at Fandom will look bad on a transcript. I'm hoping the answer was no. Basic Auto Mechanics covered changing the oil in a car. Everyone watched Dad change the oil on the Impala - which I'm shocked he used as an example, really - and then everyone changed their own oil.

Fighting 101 worked on some fighting basics by hitting punching bags, and it seems the office was still manned by stuffed animals. What is it with the animal transformations lately?

And no, the flirtary was not open today. I'm sorry if anyone was disappointed.

Dean: You falling down on the job there Sammy?

Sam: You were the one who made fun of me for not exploring the mainland more. So, that's what I did before I had class instead of staying in the library.

Dean: Did you bring me back a souvenir?

Sam: No, but if you want me to, I can the next time I go out.

Dean: Of course I do. And you should get Gracie something too.

Sam: Yeah, because she's really at the age where she'll notice.


Cabins, which still have a pretty view past all the campfires

Dean: Down at the cabins, Isabel got a postcard, Ino woke up in a tree, and Amber read a script in her alcove.

Both Sokka and Jack Burton recovered from being scaly -- newt and lizard respectively this morning under their beds. Hey, buck up guys, at least you missed being sparkly ponies.

Sam: That's going on the list of things I never thought any of us would have to say.

Dean: Never say never. ActionFigure!Reno lost his head trying to get at his booze and Sokka found him headless and mocked him and went for a camera. Wait, you mean he literally lost his head? Wow, that's...disturbing.

Anyway Romeo found Reno in pieces and Ron laughed his head off -- not literally -- at Reno missing his. And that puts the sparkly ponies into perspective.

Sam: At least all the ponies had heads, yeah.

Dean: Headless sparkling ponies. Now that would be disturbing. Andrew decorated his alcove and talked to Liir about going slow, and I made dinner for Sammy and we discussed cabins and relationships and all that stuff that really isn't a squirrel's business.

Cal was working out in the gym this morning, and Kevin came in and ended up offering to teach Cal how to surf if the opportunity arose.

Johnny and Cal introduced themselves to each other, and then Kevin then apologized to Johnny for doubting him about the weirdness.

Jaina came in to work on her kicks and chatted with Cal, and Cal informed Temari how to use the equipment. Dirty?

Sam: Only you could be dirty about gym equipment, so no, not dirty.

Dean: You need to have some imagination, Sammy. Over at the Lupus campfire, Ella read a letter while cooking her lunch. Ron told her that stuff like the pony thing happens all the time here. Which yeah, it does. Just usually with less sparkles.

Francine and Ella talked about how awesome marshmallows are -- I totally agree girls. Isabel wanted summer -- the season not the student and Blair wanted Ella to clean her alcove, which she got.

Over at Ursa Major campfire, Meg set marshmallows on fire and told Adah all about being a closet pyro. That's my girl!

Sam: *sighs* You are such a bad influence.

Dean: Matter of opinion, dude. Luke moaned to Meg about his singing and dancing venture into gremlin bites. Dude, how many times is that now you've been bitten? Are you like gremlin junk food or something?

Dawn and Meg started out discussing crispy marshmallows and zombie repellent and ended up talking about body shots. Okay, I'm going to need to pause for a moment to consider that.

Sam: They're trying to kill us. That's the only conclusion I can come up with.

Dean: I don't think it's killing they want to do to us.

Sam: That's what it's doing to me.

Dean: You're not doing it right then. And at the Andromeda campfire, Turtle struggled to get a fire started and Lion-o offered to help. Sora cooked fish over the Centaurus campfire and Liir made the Scorpius campfire smell good by throwing orange peels into it.

Sam: Oh good, a morning fresh campfire, that's just what I've always wanted.


Town, now with 100% more singing nuns

Sam: Professor Stinson was happy to be home, while The Doctor went to find something to eat, and Tyler got a call from Cameron Mitchell during his office hours.

In town openings, George Michael opened the banana stand, Alex opened the Magic Box, Seregil opened Book Haven, Mary opened the hotel, Chad opened Groovy Tunes, and Lacey opened Luke's Diner, where G'Kar hit the bulletin board and posted a message about job openings at Turtle and Canary.

Sokka opened Turtle and Canary, and told G'Kar about being a lizard. Murdock had coffee at the Perk and talked laptops with Reno, who also talked about the weekend with Dojima.

Professor Kerrigan was down at the beach, and met up with Dean Jones, who offered to help Kerrigan with anything she needs. River talked to Kerrigan about her new body, and Kerrigan told Jack to go to a different part of the beach to do whatever he intended to do.

As Dean already mentiond, Luke got bitten by a gremlin in the park, and thought he was a singing nun who was the governess of many children. Can I mention how happy I am that I've never been bitten by a gremlin without bringing the curse down upon myself?

Dean: I wouldn't chance it.

Sam: Okay, pretend I didn't say anything then. Luke thought Jo was the oldest child of the group, while Gavin became Captain Von Trapp, the object of Luke's affection. Dude, Jo will kill you both if you try anything.

Amber became Louisa, Hinata became Brigitta and Sokka became Friedrich. I want to know what the hell is in a gremlin bite is to make anyone capable of coming up with some of these names.

River became Marta, Hoshi became Mother Superior, and Dawn became Gretl, who doesn't seem to have been the object of any of Luke's affection, which means I don't have to hurt him. Excellent.

John became Kurt. A very amused Kurt, most likely. Bob became Rolf the mail carrier, Andros became Max, and Jaye became the wicked Baroness, which leads me to believe that gremlin bites help the victim see the true nature of people.

Dean: Yes, because the true nature of Gavin is being the object of Luke's affections. Try again, dude.

Sam: Okay, so it only worked for Jaye. It's still just a theory.

Dean: Bad theory.

Sam: Whatever. Jolee opened Caritas although amazingly, no one felt the need to drink tonight, and Millie took care of the clinic.

Dean: Now I feel almost like I should hit Caritas just so they have a customer.

Sam: Or you could let Jolee have a quiet night.

Dean: Ah, it's no fun drinking alone.

Sam: If it wasn't so late, I might - might - be tempted to offer to go with you.

Dean: Raincheck?

Sam: Yeah. Consider it payback for making me dinner tonight.

Dean: So that means you're buying right?

Sam: *laughs* Only in your dreams.