Fandom Radio, Saturday, January 5

[likethegun]

Sam: Good evening, Fandom. This is Sam Winchester who, despite recent reports, does not have any tattoos. Anywhere. Seriously.

Dean: It's true. Dad would have killed him if he got one.

Sam: The truth is, Jamie Madrox is strangely allergic to sugar, and when he has any, he goes a little crazy. So new people, make sure if you ever decide to bake anything that you don't give him any. It's for his own good.

Dean: Why Sammy, that's very... considerate of Jamie's health of you. Oh, this is Dean Winchester by the way. For those newbies that don't know, I'm the older, hotter Winchester brother.

Sam: But I'm the taller one, so I still win.

Dean: Only the freak of nature awards, dude.

Sam: Yeah, I'm not that tall yet. Don't be jealous just because I can reach things you can't.

Dean: Jealous of you? You're having delusions there, Sammy.

Sam: Go ahead and tell yourself that. Maybe I ate something bad at the picnic yesterday to be having so-called delusions.

Dean: Makes more sense than me being jealous of you.

Sam: I think it makes perfect sense. If the squirrels didn't hate me, I'm sure they'd agree with me.

Dean: See that? Is just more proof you're delusional.

Sam: Whatever, I am not. Have you got your notes? I bet they made them nice and organized for you.

Dean: Yeah because the squirrels love me.


School, where there's only two days left before the real work starts again

Dean: So at school, Mac opened the library and was far too happy about it. She also met The Operative. The Operative? Dude, there's these things called names. Might want to look into getting one.

Michael came in for books and chatted with Mac about Fandom stuff. Which happens a lot when you first get here -- but don't worry, you'll eventually get up to speed.

And Peter proves he's not just a one librarian guy as he brought Mac coffee.

Sam: He brings me coffee and food though. Best friend and roommate privileges are pretty equal.

Dean: Considering what kind of privileges you get from your roommate, that's an interesting declaration. Of course, considering the kind if privileges I've got from my best friend...

Sam: We don't need to talk about that while newbies who still have their innocence might be listening.

Dean: Sure Sammy. Anything you say.


Dorms, which are actually seeing action again, not dirty. Or maybe dirty. Who knows about those newbies?

Dean: Over in the dorms, this Michael guy was making the rounds. He got to know his roommate Brooke while she decorated the room, and then poked his head into Liz's room and met her too. He then argued with Isabel after he left her a note at her room.

John Sheppard and Lee talked over newbies and girls and pranks. Y'know, the typical conversation. Jaina brought John birthday presents, and the squirrels have noted they looked dirty. The best presents always are.

Sam: That's so not true. My best presents from this year and last haven't been dirty at all.

Dean: Yeah? What presents?

Sam: Uh, let's see. Scout, good books, my PDA...

Dean: Yeah, well family gifts are exempt from having to be dirty. Obviously.

Sam: Okay, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

Dean: Whatever, dude. Makato hung up her clothes, Adam lazed around and listened to music and Amber both listened to music and decorated her room. Way to multitask, Amber who I haven't met yet!

Wyatt woke up super late and Isabel came by to complain about busy boy Michael and I took Hunter to visit Meg, which resulted in much petting. I won't say for who but it wasn't just the one with the tail.

Sam: There is no one on this island who needed to know that, Dean.

Dean: Now who's jealous?

Sam: I'm not jealous. I have my own girlfriend for petting. Um. Not that we ever do anything like that.

Dean: Uh huh. If you really don't, you really should. I'll talk to Dawn if you want.

Sam: No, that's okay really, we don't need your interference and I'm very ready to talk about something else now.

Dean: Sure, Sammy. Tamaki got into Fandom and his big sister Katara came looking for him. Ino came by looking for Reno, but met Tamaki instead. And Ferris introduced himself and then hot dogs to Tamaki. Not any dirtier apparently than the usual banana stand reports.

Karal got a visit from Inara who wanted tea. A wandering Seregil commented on Karal's lack of light. Karal's lack of light? Dude, he's a sun priest. Light's kinda standard for him. Besides I gave him a lighter for Christmas.

Sam: Let's hope he doesn't set himself on fire, or it'll be all your fault.

Dean: Sun priest, remember? Getting set on fire probably isn't something he has to worry about much. And Troy and AJ had an awkward post-breakup relationship talk. Aw.

The common rooms were hopping today too. Down on the third floor this morning, Zack came for coffee and stayed for Bitterwoman. He and Alex introduced themselves, Robin greeted everyone cheerfully and Neville found out he missed two months and the plague. Could be worse, dude, I found out I missed three years once.

Sam: I'm really hoping we never top how much that sucked.

Dean: Yeah, well, that's over and I'm not going anywhere now so don't dwell, okay?

Sam: I'm not dwelling. Just...commenting, that's all.

Dean: Moving along, down one floor in the second floor common room, Johnny Storm showed up for o.j. and stayed for violent cartoons. Kara told a shirtless and be-toweled Johnny -- hey dude, you do know you're supposed to be dressed in the CR's right? -- about being from a small town in Kansas. Hey, there's something you have in common with your little sister, Sammy, we're from Kansas too.

Sam: Well, we're really from all over, I'd say.

Dean: We grew up all over. We're from Kansas. Shawn greeted Johnny and admitted to used up his nudity quota for the year. Reno found out about Fandom's tradition of shirtlessness -- isn't that actually the Seahorse tradition? -- and doppelgangers.

Sam: I'm pretty sure the dirtiest Seahorses stole it from the general population. And now that the cabin doesn't exist, we have no more traditions to uphold, thank goodness.

Dean: It wasn't about the cabin, it was about the people. And there's still a few of us around.

Sam: Well, you guys can hold onto the traditions then. I'll be over here trying to forget them.

Dean: *mutters something under his breath* Artoo, being a sensible droid who makes an excellent onion dip by the way, gave Johnny one of Luke's shirts to wear. Adah got tea and refused Johnny's offer of help and Isabel teased Johnny about his lack of clothing, then told him that Parker knows all about him from last summer.

Sam: Do you think that was supposed to be threatening? Or just informative?

Dean: Have you forgotten what Parker's like?

Sam: Good point, threatening it is.

Dean: Up on the best floor, the fourth, this afternoon, Sky was drinking squishies, eating popcorn and studying the Fandom High Handbook. I stopped by with Hunter, tried to explain that you don't need to study until classes begin, and told him about how certain people got an A in a certain class last term.

Sam: You did not. Dean! New people do not need to know about that!

Dean: I think they need to be prepared for how crazy things get.

Sam: So tell them about the gremlins or something!

Dean: Nah, this is more fun. I also met Makoto and we talked about students turning into animals and the family business. Sky and Makoto also talked about mixed feelings and Sky wanting to become a cop.

Romeo wanted to know if he needed an invite to the common room and Sky reassured him that no he didn't. Romeo also flirted with Makato like whoa. Dude's got a weird way of speaking as he decided that he was going to call me grandsire. No comments from the peanut gallery.

Sam: No comments because I don't even know which one to make first.


Town, where the rest of the new people live, and we don't need to talk about their dirtiness either

Sam: Over in town, Kerrigan visited Sheriff Mustang, to have a drink and apologize to him for...something. I'm sure it was important though, for her to do that.

Barney played around with his blackberry, and met Biff, who asked him where the harlots are. Oh, they're going to get along very well, I think. Barney also met James Bond, and was disappointed that he's not a hot woman. Someone should inform him that not all of the teachers on the island have to be hot women.

Dean: Yeah because that would make our Dad a hot woman and wow, is that an image I don't need.

Sam: Oh, I hate you so much right now for that. Biff asked Bond about his interest in harlots. Seriously? Where did this guy come from? Aiden asked Barney how long he's lived at the house, and Biff met Vala, and was very impressed. I could make a harlot comment here, but I like Vala, so I won't.

Dean: She does look good in leather though.

Sam: But that doesn't make her a harlot, honestly. At least, not around here.

Dean: True. Too bad the Sin's gone -- time was finding harlots was as easy as a trip into town.

Sam: *sarcastically* Yeah, it's too bad we can't just do that anymore.

Dean: You never did get to use your gift certificate did you?

Sam: I was never going to use it, Dean.

Dean: You could've given it to me then, y'know.

Sam: And encourage you? No way. Consider that me saving you from yourself. At her apartment, Aly worked on her syllabus in the company of kittens, and got a visit from new neighbor Nathan, who I am so very glad to hear is getting himself settled well in town.

Dean: Hopefully he's pulled his head out of his ass since his last visit.

Sam: And hopefully you can keep your head out of your ass while he's around. Sheriff Mustang stopped by and was attacked by the kittens, and Deadpool ended up chatting with Aly about the physical difference between men and women. I'm just going to pretend that the squirrels are making this stuff up to test my sanity.

Xander got a phone call from Bridge. At the Trooper Station, Sheriff Mustang and Constable Fraser planned a costume party. I know I feel safer knowing that's what they're doing at work.

Dean: So what does a mountie wear to a costume party anyway? Normal clothes?

Sam: What if he doesn't own any normal clothes? That might be a possibility.

Dean: Nude mountie?

Sam: I think the only people at that party would be all the women around here.

Dean: And the guys that swing that way.

Sam: Exactly. George Michael got attacked by seagulls at his stand, and was visited by Mary, who told him not to worry about someone named Mike, since George Michael is the only guy for her. I'm going to assume that was more reassuring than it sounds on paper.

The Magic Box was open, complete with a new resident discount and a search for new employees. Alex came in and interviewed, and Ami stopped by to get her new schedule.

Mary had afternoon tea available at the hotel. Turtle was also offering a discount at Turtle & Canary, which makes me wonder if she fell and hit her head or something.

Amber came in looking for socks, and ended up with a job. Sky came in to get school supplies and a Slushie, but didn't get hired. And Juli Mizrahi ordered a piano. That's some impressive shopping right there.

Adah met Glitch, who seemed to think she was someone named D.G. I see the doppelganger fun is starting right on schedule.

Dean: Newbies arriving just isn't the same without doubles.

Sam: I'm just glad there aren't any more doubles of you running around. One of you is enough at the moment.

Dean: What, afraid of having too much of a good thing?

Sam: Oh, yeah, that's exactly what that would be. Ino was in a bad mood while she waited in the Perk. A.J. asked her what was up, and she said she got stood up by Kabuto. She shared the same story with Annette, who tried to make her feel better in a female solidarity kind of way. Um, not dirty.

Dean: I'm so proud you even thought it was dirty.

Sam: That's entirely your influence at work. Gabriel was in the church, as usual. Biff and Karal met in there, and Biff admitted that he doesn't like priests, and that his best friend is Jesus. I'm not really sure if he'd approve of the harlot thing, for the record.

Dean: Karal or Jesus?

Sam: Well, either one, really.

Dean: Can't really say about Jesus, but Karal would probably blush and stammer.

Sam: And in that moment, I would understand exactly how he felt. Coraline got breakfast at J,GOB, and met Seregil, with whom she bonded over hot chocolate. How sweet, no pun intended. Billy and Coraline met, and she helped Ferris pick out something good to eat.

Over at Caritas, Lucas and Coraline went to see if the zombies were real, and were not disappointed. Robin sang, and then rewarded himself with a root beer. Gavin hit on Brooke, which makes me wonder if he's going to get hit by Inara later.

Luke ruffled Brooke's hair, which, in case anyone was wondering, is really never a good idea of something to do to a girl. Peter Parker came in and got a coke, and talked to Robin.

And it was a thankfully quiet evening for Dr. Wilson at the clinic. Let's hope it stays that way for a while.


Dean: Now that I agree with you on.

Sam: Too bad you won't agree with me about anything else.

Dean: I agree on most of the important things. The rest, well you'll come around some day.

Sam: Yeah, right. We'll see about that. Do you have anything else you want to say to our listeners?

Dean: Zeppelin Rules!

Sam: It really is a wonder that we're related. I'm going to say good night instead. Good night!