Fandom Radio [Friday, November 9th]

[isourking.livejournal.com]

*sounds of feedback*

*static*

*sounds of various buttons being mashed*

*more feedback*

I don't know how you bloody muggles can use this stuff. Can't you just point a wand at your throat and yell "Sonorus" like normal people? Nooooo! You have to use bloody wires and eckletricity and- wait. What does that red light mean? Did I get it to work?

Bloody thing.

HELLO FANDOM! THIS IS RON WEASLEY! CAN YOU HEAR ME? SOME SQUIRRELS DRAGGED ME INTO THIS RAY-DEE-0H STATION TO DO THIS NEWS THING! I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU CAN HEAR ME SO I AM JUST GOING TO SPEAK VERY LOUDLY! OKAY?!

SCHOOL! ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN HEAR ME?

IN THAT LOVE SMART CLASS, PROFESSOR STINSON GAVE A LECTURE REGARDING HOTNESS AND CRAZINESS AND THEN MADE HIS STUDENTS TAKE A QUIZ TO SEE IF THEY WERE MENTAL OR NOT. AFTER CLASS JIM AND KARAL TALK TO BARNEY ABOUT HORSES WHICH HOPEFULLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE OR BEING SMART!

INTERDISCIPLINARY STUDIES OR WHATEVER TALKED ABOUT CHEMISTRY RIKKU APPARENTLY HAD IT ALL WRONG WHILE JENNY OUTRIGHT HATED IT. SHE ESPECIALLY HATED RONAN WHO SEEMED TO DO IT SO EASILY.

JENNY? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU ON THAT.

MATHEMATICS DISCUSSED PERCENTAGES AND HOW THEY ARE LIKE FRACTIONS BUT NOT.

IN DEBATE, CHUCK TOLD EVERYONE TO HAVE NAUGHTY CONVERSATIONS WITH EACH OTHER! WILLOW THEN BLAMED JIM FOR THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS SO JIM DELEGATED IT TO OTHER PEOPLE.

OUR PRINCIPAL WHO I GUESS IS LIKE A HEADMASTER BUT WITHOUT THE UMBRIDGE CONNOTATIONS HAD OFFICE HOURS. THE FATHER OF HER CHILD ALSO HAD OFFICE HOURS WHICH CONSISTED OF PLAYING PEEK-A-BOO WITH THEIR DAUGHTER. HARRIET JONES WHOM I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS, ALSO HAD OFFICE HOURS .

THE SCHOOL OFFICE WAS SUBDUED BECAUSE THERE WAS NO LONGER A TEAL DEER THERE.

STUDENT COUNCIL WAS HELD TODAY BY PROFESSOR LYMAN WHO SEEMED TO WANT TO RUSH THROUGH IT SO HE COULD DRIVE A BUNCH OF STUDENTS TO CAMBRIDGE. NEXT TIME I SUGGEST A PORTKEY PROFESSOR LYMAN! YOU'LL GET THERE MUCH FASTER! wHILE JENNY AND RONAN GOT INTO A FOOD FIGHT, EVERYONE ELSE SEEMED EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO A WHITE HOUSE

KARAL OPENED THE LIBRARY AND EVEN THOUGH THE CHEF THOUGHT IT WAS SATURDAY HE WAS STILL ABLE TO SERVE LUNCH

DORMS: CAN YOU STILL HEAR ME? IS THIS THING ON?!

EARLY THIS MORNING JAMIE ASKED Z TO GO WITH HIM TO A WEDDING. KARAL LEFT A NOTE FOR ARAVIS BEFORE LEAVING FOR THE WEDDING WHILE ISABEL PACKED HER BAGS ALSO FOR THIS DAMN WEDDING. ANDERS WENT TO VISIT ISABEL TO GET ASSISTANCE ON WHAT CLOTHES TO WEAR FOR A-

ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT! WHO THE HELL IS GETTING MARRIED?! UNTIL I FIND OUT? NO MORE WEDDING TALK! I MEAN IT! DO NOT TRY MY PATIENCE!

BEAUTY CLEANED HER ROOM, NOT FOR THE WEDDING BUT FOR AJ WHICH APPARENTLY LED TO TOENAIL PAINT WHICH COULD BE CONSIDERED GIRLY BUT I DON'T JUDGE! IF YOU EVER MET NEVILLE YOU'D UNDERSTAND WHY! MEANWHILE BART WASN'T FEELING WELL AND GOT CAUGHT IN A SPIDER WEB WHO WAS ALSO A DOCTOR SO HE LEFT FOR THE CLINIC. I KNOW THAT MAKES NO SENSE BUT THAT'S WHAT I'M READING! HONEST! JACK WAS IN THE COMMON ROOM WATCHING A MOVIE.

MEANWHILE AS IRULAN WENT ON HER DATE, *COUGH* SAVANNAH TALKED WITH SOMEONE AND THEN TOLD *COUGH* EVE THAT LEAH IS AROUND WHICH DOESN'T MAKE EVE HAPP-EEK.

EEEK.

*squeak*

*sound of door opening and then slamming shut*

Mel: I don't know who the rutting hell you are but for Jesu's sake STOP YELLING!

Ron: Squeak!

Mel: What? you lost your voice?

Ron: *Affirmative Squeak*

Mel: So I guess you need me to finish off the broadcast.

Ron: *Affirmative squeak*

Mel: *sighs heavily* Swell.

Town: Where this will go quickly so I don't have to listen to Squeaky here

Ron: *indignant squeak*

Mel: Serves ya right for yelling numbnut. Lessee... Nate opened up Wellspring Arms and was visited by Ino who got a lecture on discipline. Chad got Groovy Tunes up and running, Savannah did the same with the sporting good place. Sokka opened the post office and River opened the Arms Hotel. Gabriel was in the church and while there was stinky-ness there was no cowbell.

Ron: *Squeak*

Mel: I agree. A total travesty. Meanwhile Steve Rogers and Jean Paul Beau- Beau- Frak it. Jeab Paul Ba-ba-buoey both received phone calls which made them both go out of town. Aly on the other hand received no phone calls but still managed to pawn her cats off on Roy for the weekend while she was out of town.

In the afternoonAdah was at the perk with tea, a book and then met Kerrigan. Lee eventually showed up and the couple talked about tea and expert puddle jumping.

Later in the evening at the perk one of the many Peters and that chick with the giant hat had a date. Meanwhile Jolee opened up Caritas and stared at Tino.

In clinic news, that guy who looked like he was the source of all evil had the day shift while Katara had the evening shift and was visited by Bart

Josh Lyman got a bus for all the students to ride to this wedding thing. Apparently he and Aly planned to keep the students in line by using supersoakers and playing ABBA-

Ron: *angry squeak*

Mel: No! I don't know who the hell is getting married. Shut up! I want to finish this so I can go home!

Included on the bus was Karal and Molly, Sam and Dawn, Dick and Annette, PB and J, Jo and Luke, Xander and Bridge, Rikku and a squirrel.

Okay? Why the hell is a squirrel getting on a bus?

Ron: *squeak*

Mel: I have no rutting clue what you are trying to say.

Ron: *squeak*

Mel: Yeah. Pal? The hand gestures aren't working either.

*Phone rings*

Mel: Who the hell is calling in at this hour?

Ron: *squeak*

*sounds of buttons being mashed*

*feedback*

Mel: Ow! Cut that-

*sounds of more buttons being mashed*

Ron: *squeak*

Mel: This is-

Jamie: (over phone) Hi! This is Jamie Madrox! Who's this?

Mel: Why the hell should I tell you? Shouldn't you be here anyway?

Jamie: Can't! I'm at the wedding of the century! Or... well at least the rehearsal dinner. Apparently one of the squirrels snuck in so I'm here to report on the rehearsal dinner festivities.

Mel: Does this mean I can go home now?

Ron: *squeak*

Mel: Crap.

Jamie: Keep your pants on! this won't take long. Better yet? Take your pants off and enjoy the breeze.

Mel: Are you drunk?

Jamie: Quite possibly. First everyone arrived. In fact it seems that's what everyone seemed to do. John and Alanna and the little kitty talked about the future honeymoon and Alanna's time in the desert. Meanwhile Alanna's date George...

George? That can't be right! Who the hell is George and why is he dating Alanna?! THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT'S SUPP-

Mel: Can we move this along please?

Ron: *squeak of agreement*

Jamie: FINE! BUT I WILL NOT TALK OF GEORGE AGAIN!

Mel: Oh God. Just stop shouting.

Jamie: Fine! My stickbug brothers English Pete and John caught up with each other while Anakin talked to Peter about future versions of Skywalkers attending Fandom. Hopefully they'll have better hair. English and Willow then talk about crying at the rehearsal WHICH I DIDN'T DO AND YOU CAN'T PROVE IT and how Willow feels fashion conscious without a sword.

There's a dirty joke in there but I'm too drunk to find it.

Johnny boy and Annie-kins then talked about whether or not the bride will be packing heat on the wedding day. Well of course she'll be. It's like that old saying: Something borrowed. Something blue. Something she can use to kill an invading monster at 10 kilometers on a windy day.

Then Isabel talked to John about allergies and then she talked to Wyatt on how to distract Parker before hugging the stuffing out of Alanna.

Molly explained the rehearsal thing to Karal before asking John if Rita Skeeter has showered.

Mel: What?

Ron: *lots of indignant squeaking*

Jamie: Either I'm drunker than I thought or that squirrel was really hitting the sauce. Anakin then got all paternal and interrogated Karal before John got caught up with him. Then Peter Parker talked tattoos with John and then got caught up with Alanna and... Isabel? Dude? She goes to our school! Why do you need to get caught up with her? She's like in the SAME DORM!

Then some dude name Angel checks to see if John is still hungover while Anders can't believe they are getting married. You still better show up with a gift Andy because that's not a good excuse.

In other conversations Sam is not down with forts or John's tattoo. This probably makes more sense if you know what happened at the bachelor party which Anakin filled Sam in on.

Wait? A teacher was at a bachelor part? God I hope there wasn't a pop quiz on strippers. Especially if there were tassles and the dynamics on getting them to twirl in-

Ron: *squeaks*

Mel: Better get back to topic. British boy here is turning all shades of red.

Jamie: Alllll righty! Anakin then offers to hurt people who Aeryn might be annoyed at. Again? That's not a gift. Better head to Macy's. Sam gives the bride to be tips on how to stash weapons underneath the dress and seems awfully glad to see Alanna. John then chats with Jack and asks Rory if he should wear a top hat. Sam then apologizes to Rory for missing the bachelorette party while Rory asks Aeryn what to do about people who cry at weddings.

This is where Rory should pay attention to Anakin offering to hurt people and the fact that the Bride will be packing weapons under her dress.

Then again she probably wouldn't notice because she was getting cozy with my former mentor which apparently made the squirrel happy because there are lots of little hearts drawn around this part with little x's and o's and then a drawing of a duck. Or maybe it's a picture of those two holding hands and-

Ron: *squeak?*

Mel: Are we done yet?

Jamie: Well Isabel talked with that guy WHO SHOULD NOT BE DATING ALANNA, Molly and Karal talked pizza and apparently cats like shrimp

Mel: Again. Are we done?

Jamie: Well there's some doodles the squirrel made on how to hide an AK-47 under a bridal gown.

Mel: Right. We're done. Turn this thing off.

Ron: *squeak*

Mel: No! Don't smash the-

*sound of buttons being smashed*

*LOUD FEEDBACK*

Mel: Ow! Just press the-

*sound of more buttons being smashed*

*FEEDBACK*

*STATIC*

Comments

[stupid-toasters.livejournal.com]

[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!]

[blackmagic-eve.livejournal.com]

Eve was pretty sure she was going deaf now, if she wasn't there already.

She was also making mental notes to send the squirrels some booze for putting up with that broadcast.

[smartestone]

Hermione was doing a lot of staring as she listened, and occasionally wincing. Hadn't she told him he didn't need to yell into electronics. "Honestly," she muttered, shaking her head and going back to her book.